//------------------------------//
// Chapter 10: Introductions 
// Story: Spoiled Milk Returns 
// by deadpansnarker 
//------------------------------//

"... So basically, that's the whole story. We're so sorry to intrude on your property after sundown, but we had to keep tabs on my wife here. Otherwise, what's already happened at the school, boutique and spa today could very well occur all over town. Spoiled is a law unto herself at the best of times, but ever since her regression to her old self, her confused state has led to destruction and bedlam everywhere. If I can just get her home and into bed, she can be properly treated and they'll be no more incidents like the mini-rampages today. I-I hope you understand. Just as a gesture of goodwill, I'll order double, no, triple my usual supplies from you this week. You know, to make up for the inconvenience..."

Filthy Rich was doing his utmost to explain the current predicament to a nonplussed Big Mac and Applejack, whilst a deep-in-thought Granny Smith continued to brood in the corner. Whatever quandary was on the matriarch's mind kept her uncharacteristically quiet... but as anyone who knew her zest would tell you, this probably wouldn't last for long.

Meanwhile in the cattle area, Spoiled Milk had somehow managed to transfix the watching children with her previously unheralded skill at the udder. Each minute squeeze and heavy press of the engorged pink organ seemed to bring out even more milk than before, and the irony behind the identity of this most unlikely of milkmaids didn't fail to escape the attention of one Apple Bloom.

"I can hardly believe this is yer mom we're seein' now!" She told an equally incredulous Diamond Tiara. "Our cow ain't produced that much milk so quickly in all the time I've known her! After tonight, we'll have enough of the stuff to last us for about a thousand breakfasts! If she never goes back to bein' Mrs Rich again, yer can be sure she'll always have a job goin' for her here! We can't pay much, but she can have any bruised produce that don't make the grade!"

If that was meant as a joke, Diamond obviously didn't think so, and the pink filly turned to scowl at Apple Bloom. "Hey, don't say that! My mother may not be perfect... i-in fact you could say she's as far removed from that word as is possible. But she's just had a traumatic brain injury, so It's a little rude to mock her when she can't even defend herself. Besides, even though she can be a total pain in the flank sometimes, she's still the only mom I've got. How would you like it if I...erm... o-oh gosh, I just remembered. S-Sorry for bringing this up, I-I guess some ponies really do have it worse off..."

Seeing Apple Bloom look downcast at the strawy ground, and Diamond struggling to apologise for her unfortunate faux pas there, Silver Spoon realised it was her time to shine once more. Removing her glasses momentarily to professionally polish them, as soon as she put them back on her built-in 'peacekeeper' mode kicked into function. It was a thankless job at the best of times, but somepony had to do it.

"Listen, I don't know about you two, but the very idea of somepony having an alternate personality tucked away in the back of their mind fascinates me." Silver's eyes seemed to gleam at that moment, as she used her obvious interest in Spoiled's situation to distract away from any possible brewing resentment between her friends. "I wouldn't mind having a few words with the 'subject', if it's not too much trouble. Who knows, maybe somepony will do a paper on this one day, and that pony will be me, and onto a full college scholarship I go! Oops, getting a bit ahead of myself there..."

Silver's timely intervention there had prevented any further bad blood being spilt between Diamond and Apple Bloom, and instead both looked at each other with concern at what they'd just heard from the studious grey filly.

"Er, are you sure about this Silv?" After all she'd been through that day chasing after a manic Spoiled, Diamond was understandably reluctant in doing anything which could trigger her again. "Perhaps it's best to leave her be for now."

"Yeah, I agree with Diamond." Apple Bloom nodded her head in solidarity with her pink friend, all potential discord between the pair now long since forgotten. "You do realise if the farm gets all messed up, it'll be yours truly who'll end up on clean-up duty? No thank you... I'd rather eat my sister's spare stetson."

Silver Spoon's rolled her eyes at the dual objections from her peers, and chided them both. "Look, it'll be fine, okay? We just have to be very careful. Luckily, I happen to be an expert at that. Watch and learn, foals."

Then without further ado, the determined youngster took the few short steps forward to communicate with a very preoccupied Spoiled Milk. In fact, so much was the mare's laser-like focus on her task, she hadn't looked away for a second, despite being by far the main topic of conversation all around her.

"So then, Miss Milk is it?" Silver began her introduction by speaking candidly. "I see you like to milk cows. Would you mind telling me where you picked up this skill, and how you became so good at it?"

Silver's inquisitiveness seemed to do the trick in finally getting Spoiled's attention, as the older pony's ear twitched. Turning around slowly but still while manipulating her bovine target's udder, she regarded the grey filly with a mixture of pity and amusement.

"Aintcha ever seen anypony do this 'fore now? Oh, what me be sayin'.... of course ya ain't! Aye can tell from dat posh accent ya be askin' me in alone." Spoiled grinned widely at that point, her expensive dental work acting as an intriguing counterpoint to her countrified demeanour. "In answer to ya question, me ma and pa be teaching me 'ow to pump out the white stuff ever since me was a young 'un. Up every day aye was on that stool milkin' away, 'til me be tall 'nuff to not be needin' one no more. Now aye be the best darn milker 'ooves down in town, though I be sure Miss high-and-mighty Dairy Cream disagrees. Well, she can kiss my rump, so she can... oopsie! Don't go tellin' yer parents aye used that kind of languages, fillies. I jus' a bit disconfubulated right now, dat's all."

Upon hearing this rant, and despite her overriding tension after what'd transpired earlier, Diamond couldn't help but chuckle. Now she was doing something she loved, the older mare had apparently calmed down quite a bit... so maybe it was worth taking the risk to get closer. Along with a shrugging Apple Bloom they ventured forward together, until they were about level with Silver's position.

"Well, bless me soul! If it ain't me pal with the heart-shaped apple on her botty from earlier! How ya doin', me lickle friend? Don't worry... aye won't try to grab ye loike before!" Spoiled greeted a nervous Apple Bloom effervescently, something which surely never would've happened in her previous incarnation as the indomitable (and often abominable)  Mrs Rich. "If this be yer farm aye be stayin' at for the night, aye be much in yer debt. Aye promise to clear out as soon as the cock be clearin' his throat, me own place should not be too far aways from 'ere anyways. If ya don't mind me sayin' so though, it be strange to see ya friends with ol' Specs there... and is that Crownie aye spy next to 'er? Where I be hailin' from, the well-to-do steer well clear of us common folk, an' only pop over to buy our goods 'n' stuff. It be good to see the young un's settin' an example to everypony to follow. If only there be more like y'all and me friend with the moneybags on his bum, mebbe there wouldn't be so much trouble 'tween us all. Ah well, such is loife..."

Diamond, Silver and Apple Bloom stared at each other open-mouthed. Not only was this innocent rustic rube blithely milking away the exact opposite of everything Spoiled Rich stood for, it was as if she came from a completely parallel universe altogether. How it could be that they even inhabited the same body was a total mystery, yet Diamond had just heard something interesting in the stream of consciousness that Miss Milk had just uttered. Something she wished to question her further on...

But before she could do that, Spoiled had already formed alternative plans. "Say, ow's 'bout I be givin' ya fillies a quick educatin' in milkin'? It be good for ya rich layabouts to be gettin' yer 'ooves dirt for a change, an' even ol' Ribbon there could always use a few pointers! Who wants to go first? Don't all be crowdin' 'round me at once though... aye might be a expert, but I a bit claustrophysic! Specs... you wanna be givin' it a go first? Aye can sense yer eagerfulness..."

Stunned as they were by the notorious tyrant of the school acting so welcoming and friendly, Silver and Apple Bloom numbly walked up to 'Esmerelda' as if in a trance to participate in this impromptu lesson. 

Diamond on the other hoof, had began to progress past the point of astonishment to finding this newfound version of her mom strangely endearing. She's not shouting at me for being nice, she approves of my friends, she's got no ego whatsoever... I know we have to change her back at some point, but I kind of hope mother learns something from Spoiled Milk when she eventually comes to.

"Hey, darling..." A waving Filthy Rich suddenly interrupted the thoughtful filly's musings, and she glanced to the side to listen. "Me and the Apples are going indoors to discuss a few things, okay? I trust you and your friends to look after your mom while I'm gone, seeing as how settled you all are now. Just... don't tell her the truth yet, okay? Like in business, some things need to be approached with a degree of caution and patience. Do you know what I mean, dear?"

"Y-Yes Daddy." Diamond had mixed emotions about her new task, slight trepidation that Spoiled could jump off the deep end again at any moment, but also a bit of pride that her father had tasked her with such an important mission.

"That's my princess. Don't hesitate to come fetch me if anything should come up, okay? Bye for now!" Giving his daughter a firm nod to let her know that he fully believed in her, Filthy exited the cowshed first, followed by Big Mac, Granny Smith then a (quite reluctant) Applejack.

Diamond watched them depart in silence, too much on her mind to fully comprehend her own thoughts. But as she turned back to Spoiled and company, she couldn't help but notice how everypony seemed to be having a good time trying to get all the milk into a tiny pail.

Even Ribbon (aka Apple Bloom) seemed to have lost her perpetual distaste of Spoiled to enjoy subtly nudging the bucket, while Specs (alias Silver Spoon) was laughing out loud at her inaccurate squirting.

Doing her best to keep a giant grin off her face, it was all Crownie (also known as Diamond Tiara) could do to rush forward and get into the spirit of the occasion.

"Me next!"

.........................................

"Are you sure they're gonna be alright in there?" Applejack asked apprehensively, as she carried Winona through her front door. "From what you and my lil sis told me happened earlier, she caused quite the ruckus in town..."

"Oh, don't worry about her!" Filthy attempted to calm his business partner's anxieties with a little wink. "If being around Spoiled Milk has taught me anything, it's that she loves two things. Kids, and farm work. When you combine them, she's as happy as a pig in... well, you know. Anyway, things will be absolutely fine. Besides, I trust my daughter implicitly if anything unexpected should come up. Now then, shall we talk about..."

"Later." Granny Smith finally broke her vow of silence to raise one hoof. "First, I gotta say something to yer 'bout your wife. Yer see, I knew her quite well 'fore... hey, Big Mac! Be a darl and close that door, would yer? This ain't for pryin' ears to hear, not yet, anyhows."

"Yup." Came the simple reply from the large stallion, and the door was firmly shut.