//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: A Quiet Night Disturbed // Story: Spoiled Milk Returns // by deadpansnarker //------------------------------// After everything was taken into consideration, it had been a relatively quiet day on the largest Ponyville farm otherwise known as 'Sweet Apple Acres'. Applejack had just finished bucking the latest crop of tasty-looking fruit produce, and was ready to rest her weary limbs for the night with a very accommodating Winona sprawled panting at her feet. Big Mac had been to market that day as normal, to sell the remainder of their previous stock and also to scope out the latest prices on local goods. Their fellow traders might look innocent enough, but in a very cutthroat business, you gotta always try to stay one step ahead of the game! Apple Bloom had come bustin' in from school that afternoon, even more animated than usual. The young Crusader was full of tall tales about local snob Spoiled Rich becoming somepony else via the 'wonders' of amnesia, but Applejack had paid her ramblings little mind back then. Fieldwork required all her concentration after all, and she had no time to immerse herself in the comings and goings of the upper class. Especially that particular mare. "That's nice dear, you can tell me all about it after you've done your chores." A preoccupied Applejack had told her hyperactive little sister, hoping against hope that by the time Granny Smith had cooked up a sumptuous feast for dinner, all thoughts of gossip regarding the well-to-do would have been extinguished from the filly's excitable mind. This of course, turned out to be apple-pie-in-the-sky wishful thinking. "...Then when she came to, it was like she'd flipped her lid! She spoke with a country accent even I couldn't understand, she was goin' on about some farm in Phillydelphia where she worked... a-and then, uh..." Apple Bloom shivered slightly at the unpleasant memory, took a long swig of her water (apple juice would've been too excessive, considering the fruit-related food which made up the rest of the menu) to help compose herself, then attempted to finish her sentence to the rest of her rapt listeners around the table. "S-She hugged me!" The disbelieving filly stated those three words as if confessing in front of a therapy group. "I-I mean, at first I thought she was trying to choke me instead, but of course that weren't true. Not in front of so many witnesses, anyways." "Aww, what's so unlikely 'bout my little Bloom being cuddled by other ponies? You're as cute as a parasprite dipped in apple jam, so you are!" Granny Smith would've definitely given her great-granddaughter's cheek the pinching of a lifetime there, if it wasn't for the fact she was mercifully seated just out of tweaking range. "In my day, that was considered normal affectionate behaviour with you young un's! Are ya all so jaded now, that it ain't 'cool' to show your real feelings?" "N-No, you don't understand, Granny!" Apple Bloom stressed vehemently to her most elderly relation, whilst waving her hooves in the air. "It's just that... well, she hates me! I see it in her eyes whenever I pass her in the corridor, probably on account of her thinkin' that I helped 'steal' Diamond away from her when she turned over a new leaf. The faked documents today she put in me and my friends personal file to get us in trouble just confirmed what I already knew..." "What did you just say?!" An irate Applejack had gone from taking a casual interest in the conversation to becoming fully involved in an instant. "That prissy bitc... who does she think she is, tryin' to frame my little sister and her chums for something they never did? Sweetheart, you know I said from now on I'd let you fight your own battles, but that stuck-up head of the school board has gone too far this time, messin' with our family! First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna walk with you to Miss Cheerilee's class, and we'll sort this situation out once and for..." "It's okay Applejack, she got her just desserts, kinda. She was so outta her head when that ball walloped her, she led us right to the evidence in her office... and now she's 'suspended indefinitely'!" Apple Bloom grinned reassuringly at her always protective sibling, having no wish to cause an unnecessary scene in her classroom. "Speakin' of desserts, when you went and stood up like that all of a sudden at the table, you just knocked yours onto the floor. And I don't think Winona really liked bein' covered in it." "H-Huh? Oops, sorry girl!" Whilst Applejack apologised profusely to a whining canine who's sticky fur was now coated with the remains of smushed apple turnover, it was now Big Mac's turn to have his say on the subject. And it was just as long and drawn-out as you'd expect. "If you say it's alright, we'll take you at your word, Apple Bloom. Now everypony, let's dig in!" The large stallion loved his crusading sister just as much as Applejack, but perhaps was slightly more levelheaded regarding the avoidance of making a crisis out of a drama. "You're darn tootin', sonny boy! That's the best idea I've heard since the one I just formulated 'bout bringin' Winona's weekly bathtime forward to tonight!" Granny Smith winked towards a fuming Applejack at this juncture, with both knowing how the frisky dog struggled like a greased hog under a heap of suds. "Eat up y'all! I didn't choose to spend all day slavin' away in a steamed-up kitchen for the good of my health, ya know! Not that I look a day over sixty, naturally." All Apples present laughed at that last comment, as it never ceased to amaze them just how spry the active pensioner remained, despite her ever-advancing years. They were just about to take her up on her kind invitation too, when Winona suddenly went from feeling sorry for herself to sniffing the air curiously in a second, before a low growl began emanating from her throat. Upon hearing this ominous sound, all those gathered around the table stopped what they were doing to gaze at the agitated hound curiously. She wasn't known to make a fuss over nothing, so whatever she'd detected with her acute senses must have seriously riled her up. "What's up, girl? Somethin' on your mind?" Applejack attempted to scratch her beloved pet's chin, but the alert dog inched away from her hoof for once, too anxious right now for such a gesture to work. "Y-Ya don't think it's poachers, do ya?" Apple Bloom had read about these disreputable livestock nabbers in a history book somewhere, and was now worried she'd meet them muzzle-to-muzzle. "Nonsense, dear! There hasn't that sort of malarkey for so long, not even I can remember when it last happened! Somethin's definitely got Winona all antsy in her pants, though..." Granny Smith once more gave everypony the benefit of her experience, but even she was stumped as to what could be causing the tension. "Better go an' check it out, I s'pose. Shame to let our food get cold, but better safe than sorry." Big Mac made sure he had the last say for a change, whilst signalling with his head that maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea for each Apple to arm themselves before investigating. Just as a precaution, of course. ....................................... And so it was that our intrepid band of merry farmers took their makeshift weapons outside, following a nose-to-the-ground Winona all the way. Applejack and Big Mac made very sure that their little sister stayed closely tucked in behind them, but had a little more trouble restraining an eager Granny Smith from rushing on ahead to 'beat the ever-lovin' tar out of the blinkin' trespassers', as she so eloquently put it. The reason for their current tenseness was that if somepony had decided to wander onto their property after hours, it probably wasn't anypony in town Winona knew. The loyal dog had memorised hundreds of familiar scents after all, so for this particular smell to cause her such obvious consternation, it had to be either a) a total stranger or b) somepony local of ill intent. And seeing as Ponyville was generally known as 'The Friendliest Little Town In Equestria' (twelve years in a row, and they even have the rosettes to prove it) all wise bets were currently on a). "Do ya hear anything, anything at all?" Applejack whispered urgently to her brother, spade firmly in hoof. "Nope." Big Mac had just reverted back to his usual uncommunicative self, as he gripped his spare plank with grim determination. "I-I sure hope it was jest a false alarm..." A butter knife-wielding Apple Bloom had only been allowed to tag along because it was judged too dangerous to leave her on her own. For her or the potential intruder though, that is the question. "I'm positive it were just some stray mutt doin' the rounds of the neigh-bourhood. Sorry girl, you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow to sniff 'er fanny." Granny Smith, clutching her favourite frying pan, had just produced a vaguely plausible explanation for the canine's unrest. "Come on everypony, there ain't nuffink out here but darkness and damp. Let's go back inside, light the fire and forget we ever went on this wild horse chase, shall we?" But just as everypony seemed comforted by the elderly matriarch's dismissal of their fears and was on the verge of giving up their fruitless (pun not intended) pursuit, something happened that changed everything. First of all, a catchy tune was carried along by the cool breeze to their pricked ears, and the lyrics went something like 'Eight Mares A-Milking'. Nopony there recognised it straightaway, although Granny Smith began having a smidgen of deja vu... Then, without any further warning, Winona took it upon herself to dash off into the distance, snarling all the way. Caught completely by surprise, it took a few seconds for the retinue of ponies behind her to gather their wits, and by then the aggravated animal was long gone. "W-Where was she headed?!" A frantic Applejack demanded answers immediately, gravely fearing for the safety of her canine companion. "T-To the cowshed, I think!" Being the one lowest to the ground, Apple Bloom had been the pony who'd seen the petulant dog slip through a crack into the old wooden structure. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get after her!!" Big Mac seemed to be using the big occasion to display more articulation than normal, overshadowing an uncharacteristically pensive Granny Smith. She still seemed to be carefully mulling over the song she'd just heard... Regardless, all the Apples wasted no more time in dashing to the front of the shed in which resided their small assortment of milk-producing bovines, ready to take on whatever danger might lay ahead... As a family. .......................................... The strange sight that greeted the quartet of flustered farmers upon arrival however, wasn't quite what any of them had anticipated. In fact, it was such an unbelievable sight that each one dropped their improvised weapons in quick order, quite unsure how to react to what their widened eye sockets were currently observing. For instead of a dastardly criminal, there in the mud and muck wearing his best suit stood their reliable business partner of many years Filthy Rich, the most sheepish of expressions decorating his usually stoic features. Loitering nearby was his daughter and her best friend who seemed equally embarrassed to be there, but the real star attraction sat on a stool underneath a cow whilst humming the melodic ditty they'd heard outside. "Well, top of the evenin' to y'all! Luvverly pooch ya got 'ere!" A very naked Spoiled Milk offered an effusive greeting, whilst rhythmically squeezing each udder in turn to get the best possible output of white fluid into a tin pail. "Aye saw ya charmin' lickle 'omestead from yonder hill there, and it be too dark for me to be findin' me way back to me shack at such a late hour. Mind if aye be takin' a liberty by kippin' 'ere tonight? Aye promise to be up an' gone at the crack o'dawn, and in the meantime aye can be helpin' 'round the place for your generousness. For all me sins, aye be a pretty wizard milker, as I'm sure old Esmerelda 'ere would agree!" Amongst all the looks of disbelief between the Apples (even Winona looked somewhat confused now) upon hearing this manner of talk from the very last pony they'd expect it from, and the subtle mouthing of 'we can explain' from the visiting Rich's and associated company, two reactions were slightly different from the rest. First, there was Granny Smith's. Her right eyebrow was raised as high as it could possibly go and she crossed her hooves, her wrinkled face cast into an unreadable expression. Then there was young Apple Bloom, who took this opportunity to turn to her other family members and remind them of their earlier disinterest in what was now apparently an incident which'd escalated way beyond the boundaries of Ponyville Elementary. "See? Told ya so!"