Magic on Sweet Apple Acres

by Blade Star


Chapter 18 - UDI

“Applejack, you can’t be serious!” I exclaimed crossly. “Ya spend enough time away from the farm as it is with those friendship quests Twilight sends y’all on. Ya can’t keep doing that and all of a sudden become a teacher! For pony’s sake, how d’ya expect me and Mac to do the entire harvest by ourselves?”

“Well me and Mac managed just fine before you came along, Bones!” AJ snapped back. “Maybe if y’all weren’t goofin’ off on your little magic projects you’d be able to get more work done!”

“Ya don’t even know the first thing about teachin’! Look at how much time my mom spends just gradin’ homework. It’s a full time job, AJ. There’s no way ya can run your classes and look after the farm. And if we don’t get a full harvest, we won’t have enough bits to get us through the winter. Or do ya actually want us to have to sell the farm just to put bread on the table?”

Couples fight, that’s a fact. Even my parents do from time to time. Applejack and I had had our fair share of disagreements. But every once in a while, you end up in a really big blowout, something that actually could do serious damage to the relationship if pushed too far. This was one of those times, and it had resulted in the two of us screaming at each other in the kitchen.

It all started when Twilight and the others went back to the map. To their surprise, in the aftermath of the attack on Canterlot, it had expanded its range. It now showed the lands outside Equestria, mainly everything to the south of the realm, including Mount Aris, now repopulated by hippogriffs. One thing they’d all realised from their adventure, was that, outside Equestria, the magic of friendship wasn’t exactly well known. The griffons, dragons, changelings and hippogriffs didn’t really have the same grasp on it as ponies did. What did Twilight propose to do about this you ask?

Why, she decided to open her own school.

Now, on the surface, this sounded like a good idea. Celestia after all presides over her own school for gifted unicorns, and who else knew more about friendship than Twilight? I liked the idea of her finally having a real purpose outside of her princess duties. And as I’ve said before, she and her friends were only six ponies. It would make sense if they could teach others instead of having to go all over the shop like some sort of magical A-Team.

She didn’t do that though. Instead of hiring her own staff, or maybe recruiting ponies they’d helped in the past, Twilight decided that her friends should become professors, with each teaching based on their particular element. Let me tell you what was wrong with that idea.

Rainbow Dash already had two jobs as a Wonderbolt and as the captain of the local weather patrol my sister works with.

Rarity had her own business at her boutique, which now included two other stores in Canterlot and Manehattan.

Pinkie Pie had her job working at Sugarcube Corner, plus all the extra works she puts in with all her party planning.

Fluttershy spent most of her time looking after animals either at her cottage or in her wonderful new animal sanctuary, or looking after Discord.

And Applejack had Sweet Apple Acres, her livelihood, to look after.

And yet Twilight wanted all five of them to give up their time and work as teachers at her latest pet project. What amazed me more was that, with only a little hesitation, they’d all agreed to it. The school was now built and Twilight had even prepared a curriculum to put before the Equestrian Education Association, their equivalent to the Department of Education, which was responsible for all schools in Equestria, providing them with accreditation to ensure legitimacy and a high standard of instruction.

While Applejack might have been on board though, I was not. Farming is not just a job you can throw on the back burner and run as a hobby. It’s a full time gig. Teaching was just the same. There was no way AJ could do both at the same time without working herself to death. And despite the fact that the Apples have been on this land for five generations, Sweet Apple Acres operates on a very fine margin, like most farms. We need to sell produce to buy food, and we need to harvest produce in order to sell it. Without AJ, there was no way we could harvest enough, and sell enough, in order to make it to next spring.

I’d tried to be reasonable at first. I could see why she’d be attracted to the idea of teaching ponies and other creatures about honesty. Heck, in another time, I’d have given my horn to attend such an institution. But we had to be practical about these things.

That was when we started butting heads. The both of us are stubborn as mules and we’d both begun to dig our heels in on this issue. Things had quickly descended into a shouting match. Right now we were in the kitchen.

“Applejack, Ah understand why ya want this. But ya can’t just leave the farm to play teacher!”

“Bones this is important!” she shouted back. “We can help ponies and all sort of other creatures learn about friendship together. And we need that now more than ever, ya know how the whole mess with the Storm King has got ponies spooked.”

“Friendship doesn’t buy food or warm clothes for winter, Applejack. Selling crops at the market does that!” Throwing up my hooves in annoyance, I stormed off. Actually, I wanted to get out of there before I said something stupid, and I knew Apple Bloom could hear us.

I left AJ in the kitchen and stalked out into the farmyard in a foul temper. I ended up going for a long walk through the farm to clear my head. It was late afternoon at this point, but the sun was still plenty high in the sky. I was just so damn frustrated with her. How could she not see what was right in front of her face? Twilight’s idea, while noble, wasn’t exactly well thought out. After all, running a school is no easy job, never mind teaching at one. And nopony had ever tried anything like this. And that was before you introduced the whole powder keg of all the different creatures attending.

That was one good point she made, I reflected. Since the Storm King incident, there’s been a small, but vocal minority of xenophobic ponies coming to the fore. Now, ponies by their nature, are distrustful of things they don’t understand. Just look at how Ponyville reacted to Zecora at first. But once that ignorance is gone, most have no problem with other species. Of late though, there’s been this small minority, mainly in Canterlot, who are vehemently opposed to any interaction with other species. They’ve got this whole ‘Equestria First’ nonsense going on. I’d like to think that we left that rubbish behind when we arrived here. But no.

But as important as it was to combat and challenge stuff like that, it still struck me as a very bad idea to have AJ just go gallivanting off like this. It’s hard enough when she’s gone for days at a time on her friendship quests.

I was just contemplating on turning around and heading back to the farm, when I realised that I was not alone. I felt a presence, close at hoof. Turning around, I found myself face to face with Big Mac.

And boy, did he look mad.

“Follow me,” he said gruffly. Not wanting to tick him off any further, I obliged.


Mac led me to a quieter part of the farm. I’ve known him for a while now, and I was fairly certain he wasn’t going to kill me. Injure, quite possibly, but not outright murder. I’m kidding of course. Mac may be AJ’s big brother, but he’s not violent like that. This is Equestria for goodness sake; the land of TV-Y. Mac is a gentle giant who uses his words, rather than his hooves to make his point. It’s one of the reasons he’s often so quiet; when he does speak, it has that much more impact.

However, I was pretty sure that he was going to take my head off in a minute for getting into such a shouting match with his little sister. He might not be violent, but he was still, like any good big brother, myself included, fiercely protective of his siblings.

The two of us ended up in an isolated part of the farm. The last time Mac had led me here, was when I first started going out with Applejack. He gave me ‘the talk’ as it were. We came to a collection of felled trees, with only the stumps still remaining. Mac took a seat on one of them, and gestured for me to take the one opposite. It was still fairly light out; we had a while yet before dark, so the place didn’t look too scary.

He sat there for a few moments, staring at me in a rather unnerving way, before speaking.

He never raised his voice. That was the worst part. You could tell he was cross, but his voice never rose above its normal tone, and his expression was as calm as ever.

“Bones, y’all really upset Applejack just now,” he said gravely. I nodded.

“Ah know that, Mac,” I replied. “That’s why Ah walked off. Last thing Ah wanted to do was say somethin’ Ah’d really regret. Ah just can’t make her see reason.”

“About what?” Mac asked. I threw up my forelegs.

“This darn school project that Twilight’s startin’ up,” I explained. “It’s a nice idea, but there’s no way Applejack can teach and help out on the farm full time.”

“As Ah recall, Bones,” Mac said. “Before y’all came to Ponyville there was just me and sis, and we got along just fine. Why can’t AJ go and teach at this school and you and me look after the farm?” I smiled.

“Mac, Ah may have learned a lot from workin’ here, but Ah’m no earth pony. There’s no way Ah could replace Applejack. Even with you helpin’ out, it’d be like we had one and a half ponies. We’d never get the harvest done, never mind get all the zap apples in next month.”

Mac pondered that for a few moments, chewing the wheat stalk that he had in his mouth in deep contemplation. After a minute or so of silence, he spoke again.

“Bones,” he said, this time with more of his usual friendliness in his voice. “Me and Applejack were barely more than foals when we had to take over harvestin’. Ah wasn’t as strong as Ah was now. In fact, Ah used to talk so much that Ah hardly got any work done at all. It was Applejack who kept the farm afloat those first couple years, with a little help from Granny Smith. If she could look after this farm almost single hoofed, then Ah reckon the two of us can manage.” I perked up at that.

Mac was very private when it came to his own past, particularly his own faults. I know there’s a reason he talks so little after all. So it was surprising how he’d opened up to me like this, considering that I was expecting to get a massive telling off on the way here.

“Ya think so?” I asked, now a little more optimistic. Mac nodded sagely.

“It’ll be hard work,” he warned. “Ya certainly won’t have time to go off on your magic projects with Twilight. But between the two of us, we should be able to make it through the harvest.”

I tell you, I’ve never been so glad to know that I could be wrong. I had nothing against Twilight’s idea of a friendship school; aside from maybe it being brought on a little quickly. The idea itself was sound as a pound and would benefit everypony and every creature who attended. The only reason why I saw it as not being viable was the time constraints. But if Mac was right, then AJ would be able to go. It wouldn’t be exactly ideal; I certainly didn’t like the idea of having to give up my studies, but I also didn’t want to stop AJ from chasing her dreams. The needs of the many, to quote the then Captain Spock.

So Mac and I came to an understanding. The two of us would work together to look after the farm, with occasional help from Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. If worst came to worst, I could pitch in with my magic, since Mac wasn’t quite as obsessive about earth pony farming methods as his sister was. Plus, one thing I hadn’t considered, as an employed teacher, AJ would be bringing in a salary as well, which would certainly help compared to the somewhat unsteady income of farming.

The pair of us headed back to the farmhouse. I quickly headed inside and went to Applejack. I apologised for shouting at her, and explained the arrangement Mac and I had come up with. She was more than pleased. And if I’m honest, so was I. I would gladly take a little hard work in exchange for making her smile.

Damn, that’s corny as all hell.

As it turned out though, getting the school up and running was just the first in a series of hurdles that Twilight and the others would have to overcome. And it led to me meeting, without a shadow of a doubt, the most insufferable stallion I’ve ever met.


And so, things underwent quite the change. Twilight had the school constructed not too far from her own castle, but still on the outskirts of Ponyville itself. It was a monumental building, with a design reminiscent of Twilight’s castle and the Tree of Harmony, and yet still fitting in quite nicely with Ponyville’s general aesthetic. There were several classrooms, a large library, as well as dormitories for the students, as this would be a boarding school in effect. It actually reminded me a bit of Hogwarts.

Each of Twilight’s friends would be teaching classes around their respective element, meaning Applejack would be teaching lessons about honesty. She spent quite a bit of time with Twilight working out lesson plans.

Before its doors had even opened though, Twilight’s new School of Friendship encountered a bit of a problem. It was Mum who actually explained it all to me when I was looking after the market stall. Being a teacher herself, I asked her if she had any advice for Applejack in the coming weeks. She told me all about the Equestrian Education Association, or EEA for short. As I mentioned earlier, they were the body responsible for academic institutions across Equestria. And in order to open the school’s doors, Twilight would need to secure accreditation from them. Mum however, was a little concerned about that.

“I’ve had my dealings with those EEA types; they’re worse than Ofsted! Twilight’s going to be in for a hard time I can guarantee that,” she declared as I packed a few apples into a carrier bag for her.

“Why?” I asked curiously. “Twilight’s great at following guidelines and rules like that.” Mum frowned.

“True, but her idea for a friendship school is a bit left field, and the EEA doesn’t care for that. I remember when I first started teaching at the schoolhouse. I had to get accreditation as well. They sent three inspectors down, two were alright, but one, while he had no problem with my teaching, simply wanted to turn me down because I wasn’t a pony. I had to fight tooth and nail against that. I can’t help but worry that Twilight’s going to run into the same problem, particularly with how the school’s supposed to take in other species.”

“Well that’s the point isn’t it?” I replied. “Twilight figures that we need to spread the word about friendship. That’s the whole reason she came up with the idea.”

“Exactly, and you mark my words, my boy,” Mum said. “The EEA won’t like it one bit.”


A couple weeks later, and the school was ready to open. The place had attracted quite a crowd from all over Equestria and beyond. There were going to be the better part of a hundred students attending on the first intake. Contrary to what Mum had said though, Twilight hadn’t had too much trouble from the EEA. They’d been skeptical at first, but had agreed to her idea, and would be coming by to inspect in a few weeks time to see what progress was made. All being well, the school would then get accredited.

I ended up going in with AJ on her first day, mainly because I wanted to see what the place was like. I’d been kept pretty busy on the farm, and was about to lose a fair bit of my free time. I figured I should at least see what it was that had got my marefriend so excited.

The campus was packed with the new arrivals. In particular, I picked out a few different species. I could see a griffon, a yak, a hippogriff, a changeling, and even a dragon. Along with these new students were representatives from their government. I picked out Thorax, the leader of the changelings, Dragon Lord Ember, as well as the prince of the Yaks. It looked like half of Equestria’s allies, old and new, were jumping on the bandwagon. And if this whole idea worked, they would take what they had learned back to their homelands, bettering everyone and quite possibly helping to see off another threat like the Storm King before he got going.

I briefly nuzzled Applejack and wished her good luck as she trotted inside. She had her work cut out, and so did I. The next few weeks, well, to say that they were going to be hard would be an understatement.

But, since Twilight’s idea seemed perfectly sound, and we had no idea about the near catastrophic diplomatic incident that lay ahead, we parted ways in good spirits.


The next few weeks were trying, to say the least. On my end, the workload shot up dramatically. With Applejack teaching full time, it meant we were a pony down when it came to looking after the farm. As per Big Mac’s suggestion, we divided her chores between the the two of us. It was by no means impossible, but it was a lot more work all at once.

My own studies in magic pretty much ground to a halt. I simply didn’t have the free time to dedicate to it. I was working far longer days now, and got back to the farmhouse completely worn out. I knew that, over time, my body would adjust to the added strain. In fact, I was already starting to see an improvement in myself due to all the extra work, which certainly wasn’t something to complain about. Still, it was a shame that I didn’t have as much time to tinker with an interesting spell. Then again, Twilight was in the same boat, with her new role as Headmare of the school, her own studies had taken a back seat to her new role as an administrator. Unlike me though, she was revelling in the job.

It was difficult, but also rewarding in its own way. Particularly with how happy I saw it made Applejack. She came home from her first day practically bouncing on her hooves like Pinkie Pie. By the end of the first week, it was clear that the school was taking off and becoming a success. There was little doubt in my mind that they’d get accreditation from the EEA, despite what Mum had said to me before.

However, as the weeks went by, things started to change. Twilight began to occasionally admonish her friends for stepping outside of EEA guidelines when it came to their teaching methods. It was only little things at first, but before long, it began to have an impact on the classes and the students, as well as the teachers. The lessons went from engaging, practical exercises, to tedious theory. Friendship is a wonderfully interesting subject, and something I could probably write a dissertation on. But the EEA guidelines managed to turn into something about as boring as ‘Revolution and Continuity in Political Philosophy’. And yes, I did suffer through that course for a full year (although the lecturer was actually a great guy to be fair, it was just such a dry subject).

The effect of this change on everypony, and every creature, was rapid. Students became less engaged and grades started to drop towards inner city for-profit academy levels. The same could be said of the teachers. Applejack was now coming back to the farm looking dead tired, with dozens of papers to grade every night. And despite all the work she had, she felt like she was making no impact on her students at all. It was just a case of going through the motions.

That of course, affected Mac and me. Whereas before, we’d been able to rally around the idea that this extra work would make AJ happy and improve the lives of all sorts of creatures. Now we were just breaking our backs over nothing it seemed. The long hours over many weeks became mentally exhausting. I fell into a routine of wake up, go to work in the fields, come home, say hi to AJ, have dinner, go to bed, repeat. I knew none of us could keep up with this forever. Sooner or later, something would have to give.


Finally, the day of the much anticipated inspection came around. Twilight had also set up a school event at the same time. Not only would the head of the EEA be there, but so would representatives of the various nations that had sent students. They were all eager to see their progress. Mac and me had also worked our tails off in order to have some free time to attend. Like everypony else, we wanted to see what I expected to be Twilight Sparkle’s finest hour.

That however, wasn’t what we got.

I arrived early before the head of the EEA arrived. I was rather keen to meet him actually. I’d read up on Chancellor Neighsay the day before. He was quite the conservative, but overall appeared to be a gifted administrator. He had even had a seat on the board of governors at Celestia’s school. On paper, he looked like someone who, while pulling no punches, would also recognise good education when he saw it.

Twilight had set up ‘Family and Friends Day’ and had invited representatives from the various species that attended her new school. That included royalty like Dragon Lord Ember, the Yak prince and Thorax, in addition to representatives from the Griffon Kingdom and the newly restored Hippogriffs. Mum was among the ponies who had gathered, along with others from Ponyville. She too was looking forward to seeing what Twilight had accomplished. Heck, if she wasn’t committed to her own students at Ponyville’s schoolhouse, I expect she might even angle for a job here herself. I trotted up to her as I arrived.

“Hey, Mom,” I greeted, catching her attention. She turned around and smiled, having been admiring the school building.

“Oh, hey Bones,” he replied kindly. “I haven’t seen you in an age. How have you been?” I smiled ruefully.

“Ah’ve been busy,” I explained. “Mac and me have had to work double time to keep the farm running so Applejack can teach here.” I paused to let out a yawn. “These past few weeks have been hard on all of us. AJ’s been finidin’ it hard to teach to the EEA’s hymn-book., and Mac and me have been spendin’ most of our days out in the fields.” She nodded in understanding.

“I had a chance to talk with Rarity a few days ago,” she said. “She told me pretty much the same thing. Twilight’s idea is sound enough, but this EEA malarkey is really turning students off of lessons. Celestia knows Cheerilee and I have to tread a fine line too. I mean heaven forbid the kids have any fun out of learning.”

At that moment, a portal opened not too far away. I’d used such a thing myself. Although after that incident with Poison Joke I’d sworn off it entirely. It took a moment to stabilise, and then there stepped out a tall, gaunt grey unicorn, with a black mane and dressed in deep red robes. He kind of looked more like a Freemason than a civil servant.

“There’s Chancellor Neighsay himself,” Mum said, some noticeable disdain in her voice. “Let’s see what he thinks of the school that friendship built.”

Neighsay was an interesting character. Attire aside, he looked stern, like an old school master. Even at this distance I felt a slight twinge of childhood fear, recalling the times I’d been called up to the headmaster’s office. I watched as he all but stalked over to Twilight. His body language told me that he didn’t enjoy being here. I put that down to him being from Canterlot. The snobs hate coming off the mountain to pay call on us mere mortals.

Twilight and the others were there to greet him, but curiously, I didn’t see too many students. In particular, I didn’t see any of their Affirmative Action group. Mum and me looked on as he greeted Twilight.

Initially, though cold and sneering, Neighsay seemed relatively satisfied with Twilight’s performance. He was your classic bureaucrat in that sense. Yes the students were bunking off in droves because the classes had become so boring, but it ticked all the boxes. I’m sure he’d love working for the Department of Education back in Britain.

Things went a bit sideways though when the wayward students returned. They’d actually all bonded really well outside of class and become good friends with one another. Unfortunately, when they came back, they were a bit...excitable. Ocellus, the changeling student, had disguised herself as some giant, and frankly terrifying, insect creature. Honestly, for a moment, I thought we were due for this week’s monster attack and was preparing to let loose with my own magic.

Neighsay, and a lot of other ponies though the same, and promptly scattered, as the six students inadvertently did some minor to moderate damage to the new school. When the dust settled, the place was a mess. I’d pulled Mum under the cover of some nearby trees, but we were still close enough to see what went down.

This was where Neighsay went from being a hard nosed bureaucrat, to a racist tosser. Honestly, it was worse than watching a train crash happen in front of you. It literally couldn’t have been worse. And that was before you remembered that various high ranking representatives from five different great powers were also present, including two heads of state.

It was like throwing the Duke of Edinburgh into a meeting of the African Union. Chancellor Neighsay spewed out so much racist, xenophobic nonsense that he would made a Boer think it excessive. He criticised Twilight for allowing non-ponies to attend the school, suggesting that they might somehow use their friendship lessons against Equestria since they were all so violent and savage. I was speechless. Mum simply had a look that said ‘I told you so’. I knew she’d put up with a bit of nonsense when she got certified, but I didn’t think it could be this bad.

So, after insulting five separate allied nations, Neighsay immediately closed down the school. Not that there was any need. The students who hadn’t already jumped ship due to the boring lessons were now promptly pulled by their parents either due to the Chancellor’s comments or because some were dumb enough to actually agree with him.


After having caused a serious diplomatic incident; the sort of thing that gets embassies shut and gunboats sailing to Morocco, Neighsay prepared to leave. Twilight was absolutely heartbroken. Like me, she believes in rules, and thought that following the EEA guidelines, doing things by the book, she could create a great school that would spread the magic and teachings of friendship across the world. Instead, we came perilously close to starting a world war.

Now, my first move was to go over and comfort poor Twilight, along with Applejack and the others. After all, it’s not easy having your hard work rendered meaningless and completely undone in less than five minutes. All of them were deeply upset, particularly Spike, since Neighsay had also pretty much insulted him to his face.

Mum on the other hand, she had moved into a state of mind I thankfully rarely see.

You see, with Mum, there comes a point where, after pushing her one step too far, she pushes back; hard. Neighsay had reached that point it seemed. Her existing disdain fro the EEA magnified by seeing something that we’d all hoped we’d left behind on Earth. The expression on her face could be described as a very quiet fury. I looked up and saw her storming over to the chancellor.

“Chancellor Neighsay!” she snapped, using her teaching voice reserved solely for misbehaving students. I’m pretty sure everypony’s ears went flat against their skull purely out of foalhood reflex. Neighsay stopped in his tracks and turned back to face her, a look of mild disgust on his face.

“Who, or should I say what, are you?” Oh, she was going to kill him.

“My name is Margaret Owen!” she snapped back. “And I’m a teacher of twenty seven years. I work at the schoolhouse in Ponyville.” Neighsay’s eyes went wide in surprise.

“What?!” he exclaimed. “First I find Princess Twilight’s school is taking in dangerous creatures as students, and now I discover that one of our own accredited schools has hired one to teach our vulnerable young foals!” He turned to stalk away, but Mum walked around, physically blocking his way. He might have been tall for a pony, but at 5’1, she was still noticeably taller than him, and quite able to look down her nose at him.

“First of all,” she said, her voice now calmer. “I’m a human. I am not a ‘dangerous creature’ and nor are any of the other ‘non-ponies’ here, one of which I might add is recognised as the saviour of the Crystal Empire. Secondly, having read your mandatory guidelines, I can safely say that I’ve forgotten more about teaching children than you’ll ever know. The only thing that ran this school into the ground is your bleeding rules making any kind of innovation impossible. And furthermore, you just caused a serious diplomatic incident, which I have no doubt is already reaching Princess Celestia. What do you think she’ll do when she hears about this?” And Neighsay showed what happens when you argue with stupid people.

“I imagine that she’ll be glad that I protected her little ponies from attack and helped see off those uncivilised savage beasts.” I swear to Celestia I heard the last straw break then as Mum’s eye twitched. Neighsay then sidestepped around my mum. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to Canterlot to complete my report on this disaster of a school.”

Mum glared at the retreating figure. Activating his magic, he opened up a portal and prepared to head back to the capital. She still had one parting shot though. She said something, more quietly this time, that sounded rather like ‘prat’.

Neighsay’s and my own more sensitive equine hearing instantly picked up on the jab. Closing the portal again, he turned round with a furious look on his face. I guess nopony had ever talked back to him. I just wish there had been more ponies around to witness what happened next.

“What did you say?!” he snarled, his horn still glowing a dull orange colour. Mum however, appeared completely nonchalant. She actually looked genuinely surprised.

“What, Chancellor?” she asked innocently.

“Did you just call me a prat?” he demanded crossly. Maintaining her act perfectly, Mum shook her head.

“No,” she replied simply.

The two of them held eye contact for the longest time, with Neighsay looking for any hint of deception. Eventually though, he relented. Mum actually managed to pretty much gaslight him into thinking he’d imagined it. Reactivating his magic, he once again opened up his portal. And that was when Mum dropped them bomb. Raising her voice so it was loud enough to be heard by everypony present, she called out to him.

“No, I called you a twat!”

And with it, everything kicked off. It ended up with me and a couple other guys pulling my Mum back, and another couple grabbing Neighsay and doing their best to talk him down. They were both absolutely screaming at each other. Mum was calling Neighsay every name under the sun and having a go at his teaching practices, while Neighsay was busy spewing Apartheid-esque propaganda that ranged from ‘other creatures are savages’ to ‘ponies are the superior race’. It was like watching Prime Minister’s Questions for all the good it did, and the sheer amount of shouting.

Eventually, we managed to get things under control.

“Mom! Stop it!” I roared over the din, my magic holding her fast. “Are ya trying to get yourself fired; cause that’s what Neighsay can do! Ah know ya hate his guts but for pony’s sake, take a breath and think! He ain’t worth it!”

Mum eventually did calm down, and in turn I released my magical hold on her. Although, truth be told, I was starting to get tired from the strain. Breathing heavily, Mum calmed down, still glaring at Neighsay.

“Fine,” she said with a huff.


I ended up drawing the proverbial short straw after that, and had to do my best to try and calm Neighsay down, at least enough so that he didn’t make Mum’s or Twilight’s life any more unpleasant than he already had. I’d not seen her like that in a long time. Not since she got in a fight with a secondary school teacher who was one of those Welsh nationalists that started burning down holiday homes.

Curiously, she wasn’t too happy with the idea of someone like that teaching.

Still, her little outburst hadn’t exactly done anypony any favours. It certainly didn’t convince Neighsay to lift his order to shut down Twilight’s school. Her heart may have been in the right place, and she may have been speaking as a teacher, but she didn’t do much to help our case. In the end, I had to pull Dad into this mess to try and sort it out, and he managed to hammer out some sort of deal with Neighsay. I have no doubt that, while Mum wasn’t exactly a voice of reason, Princess Celestia wouldn’t be too happy with Neighsay’s performance either. I’m just glad Mum never got as far as punching him.

With Neighsay finally gone, we were left with something of a void. The school was now shut, indefinitely. As long as it admitted non-pony students, the EEA was adamant that it would not grant accreditation. That left us with a very large, empty school building.

For the next few days, we went back to the way things were. AJ rejoined us on the farm, making life a bit easier for me and Mac, but the both of us could tell that she was miserable. Until Twilight had started blindly following the EEA’s rules, she’d loved her new job, and now she was pining for it. I hadn’t seen her that sad since the day I first got back to Ponyville from meeting the princesses and she thought I’d gone back to Earth.

Luckily, Twilight, in the words of my mother, had a cunning plan, and it was actually quite clever for a change, despite her choice of words.

The school had been closed by the EEA because it didn’t meet their guidelines, and so couldn’t run as an accredited school. However, within that vast rulebook, there was nothing saying a school couldn’t operate unaccredited. It would simply lack the EEA stamp of approval and not receive any funding from them. Twilight came up with the idea to break the rules for a change, or rather, make her own.

The School of Friendship reopened as an unaccredited, independent school. Now, normally, that conjures up images of those dodgy Islamist school you hear about that are run out of some council house in Bradford and teach kids how to mix PE4. In this case though, Twilight created her own rules to govern the way the school was run that were suited to teaching friendship. Lessons quickly returned to their enjoyable form and slowly but surely, the students started coming back, including those from outside Equestria. Even better, it would now be more like a university in terms of timetable, meaning AJ didn't spend all day there five days a week. That meant AJ could work out a better balance between the school and the farm.

Neighsay of course, was furious, but aside from protesting, there was little he could do about the move. The papers, including the Foal Free Press, dubbed Twilight 'a little bit of a rebel', and Celestia was said to be more than pleased, and according to Dad, tore Neighsay a new one in her own quiet way for his diplomatic cock up.

By the end of the next week, things had settled into a much more comfortable routine. Applejack helped out on the farm on her days off, and then earned us all some corn when she went in to teach her lessons. All of us had more time to rest up and not become too sleep deprived, and I was able to go back to tinkering with my occasional magic projects, the latest of which would be looking at that medallion Neighsay had used to boost his magic. My own limited powers have been the bane of my existence. It would be nice if I could find a way to increase it without going evil, mad or both.

But anyway, what had started out as a harebrained scheme had now evolved into something that was part of our lives. Although I have to admit, I never thought Applejack would publish her first monograph before I did.