Taming the Wild Horse

by SFaccountant

Homecoming

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 7
Homecoming

"You're telling me... that the lesser Princess is on a quest to recover the MacGuffin Stone... on Celestia's behalf?"

"Correct, your Majesty. There's no other reason for Twilight Sparkle to acquire the artifact."

"UNACCEPTABLE!! I was to return the Stone to Celestia! The reward for its return was to be MINE!!"

"Correct again, your Majesty. Sort of. It is Canterlot's prerogative to secure the artifact by any means necessary, after all."

"And what of MY prerogative?! How am I supposed to get my reward for the MacGuffin Stone if that pretender to immortality gives it to Celestia first?!"

"I'm sure our friends in Canterlot would find the plea unpersuasive, especially given that you already tried to secure it and failed. On top of that, I can only imagine Princess Celestia would be MOST uncooperative were you to slaughter her favored subjects just so you can present the MacGuffin Stone to her before they do."

"But that's not FAIR! I can't show up to Canterlot Castle injured and empty-taloned! I'd look pathetic!"

"Indeed, your Majesty. Very pathetic. On that all can agree."

Blood Rite sat atop a flat-topped boulder, perusing the contents of a spiral-bound notebook. Laying below him, on a bed of black sand, was Kamikazan.

The dragon prince was in visibly better shape than he was only hours ago, when he was knocked unconscious in a crater outside of Lancanter. Broken scales were in the process of being shed. Broken teeth were being pushed out by fresh ones. The swelling over his left eye had receded. And most importantly, his fractured wing had set itself to aid its repair.

Dragons, though mighty creatures made functionally immortal by their natural magic, did not typically recover from injuries with great speed or regenerate things like lost teeth. Rite couldn't tell whether Kamikazan's superior healing was a function of learned magic or some inborn trait from his vaunted lineage, but it was fairly unique among the great serpents and uniquely useful after being dragged away from a brutal defeat. He imagined that the dragon would be "combat ready" again within a few days and completely recovered within a week.

Remarkable time to repair such extensive damage to so much flesh and bone. And yet probably not quickly enough to still intervene in a simple drop-off between Twilight and Celestia.

The great red serpent glared up at Rite, smoke puffing from his nostrils. "If you brought me here to mock me, equine..."

"Not at all, your majesty," Rite assured him. "I brought you here because our goals converge toward a common interest: recovering the MacGuffin Stone from a certain uncooperative pony."

"It doesn't surprise me that such a bumbling thug has made numerous enemies. However..." Kamikazan's eyes narrowed. "Once the pigtailed one is crushed, I imagine our goals diverge considerably. I will NOT let you escape with the artifact, equine."

"Hmm..." Rite flipped the page of his notebook. "I suppose they do, at that... But I think perhaps you're missing the forest for the trees, Majesty."

The dragon frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The MacGuffin Stone is merely a means to an end: You don't necessarily want to complete Celestia's chore for her, you want Princess Celestia herself. That is not incompatible with my own aims. Once I'm done with her, the Princess will be removed from power and no longer necessary to maintain the crucial cycle of day and night. Such a Princess would be, if anything, much more receptive to the prospect of settling down with a nice mate for the rest of eternity, don't you think?"

"A delightful prospect," Kamikazan said dryly, "but why should I believe you? You are Celestia's enemy, and I know nothing about you or your so-called 'aims.' Why should I lend my power to the cause of tearing down the mare that I love?"

"Well, there's one very obvious reason: your recent failure and imminent humiliation," Rite noted, flipping the page of his notebook again. "You cannot possibly stop Twilight Sparkle from giving the MacGuffin over to Princess Celestia in your current state. I can."

"How?" Kamikazan demanded.

"I have many options, although considering who we're dealing with I'm leaning toward subterfuge and deceit," Rite admitted, scratching his chin. "Both parties - Canterlot and Havoc - mistrust each other greatly, and it would take little effort to spark a confrontation. The problem is swooping in at the correct time when the artifact is vulnerable..."

"Let us assume all that works and you recover this jewel," Kamikazan grumbled, "what then do you need my assistance for? Do you simply wish me to stay my wrath while you go about your plans?"

"Oh, no your Majesty. I will need slightly more than that..." Rite's lips twitched up into a smirk. "You see, the MacGuffin Stone has many properties that are crucial to me. One such ability is to absorb the magic power of Princess Celestia directly, such that I may alter the course of the very sun."

"Madness," Kamikazan scoffed. "A mere mortal sorcerer like yourself cannot toy with powers so far beyond your ken."

"Perhaps. And if so, then my rebellion will fail, Celestia shall retain her throne, and you are no worse off."

"Fair enough. But you still haven't gotten to the part you need my assistance for," the dragon rumbled.

"It may simply come to the point that we need to assault Havoc in order to recover the artifact for ourselves, and in that instance it would obviously be advantageous to combine our strength against him. But by and large it's less that I need your assistance with my ultimate plan and more that I need your... permission." Rite's smirk stretched further into a grin. "You see, in order to seize Princess Celestia's power, I have developed a weapon to neutralize her. In order to use the weapon, I require a power source. The MacGuffin Stone is the only plausible power source, but even it is merely a tool to harness the power of some other creature."

"So you need the power of Princess Celestia in order to power the weapon you need to capture the power of Princess Celestia," Kamikazan mused. "I believe that's what you equines call a 'catch-22.'"

"Oh, no. I don't need the Sun Princess in particular to power the weapon," Rite explained. "I could make do with one of the second-tier Princesses. Or an ancient demonic power. Or, say, a particularly powerful dragon..."

In an instant the dragon prince was on his guard. He shifted his body to face the unicorn and took up a crouched, defensive pose.

"You DARE?" Kamikazan snarled. "You think I would surrender my magic to the likes of you?!"

"Oh, no no no," Rite chuckled. "I wouldn't drain your magic away. I would trap you within the MacGuffin Stone - temporarily! - to power it directly. The difference is rather technical, but the gist is that you imprison creatures for a generic mana source, and you drain their magic in order to-"

"SILENCE!!" Kamikazan boomed. "You think to trap me within some bauble to power your creations?! Unacceptable! I should devour you for the suggestion!"

"As I said, it is but a temporary arrangement, your Majesty. Having spoken to multiple subjects who have been through the process, it is quite painless... if not a little confusing," Rite said. Despite the dragon's refusal, his voice was still light and cheerful, and he didn't seem at all threatened by the rejection.

"UNACCEPTABLE," Kamikazan hissed again through clenched teeth. "I will not put my fate in your hooves, sorcerer!

"I see. Ah, well. It was worth a shot." Blood Rite levitated his notebook up off the ground, and then stood up himself. "So, what will you do when you've recovered and Celestia has the artifact, then? Regardless of what happens after that it’s sure to be quite a humiliation."

Kamikazan started. "Wh-What? The artifact? But you said you were going to take it!"

"Well, yes. If you were going to cooperate in my plans. But you're not." Rite shrugged. "That's fine. I believe it will be slightly more vulnerable in Canterlot than being attached to the pigtailed scoundrel, so I'll just wait until it's been transferred. If you won't allow yourself to be used to power the artifact, then there's no reason to assist each other. I'll find some other way."

"You demand too steep a price, sorcerer! What's even the point of seizing the MacGuffin Stone from the lesser Princess if I still can't complete my quest?! How is this plot of yours any less a humiliation and betrayal?" the dragon demanded, slamming a fist onto the ground.

"Because my plan is the only means by which you will EVER lay with Princess Celestia," Rite said bluntly. The subtle mirth was gone from his voice now, replaced by a cutting, deadly serious tone. "Do you really think she was going to be yours if you recovered the MacGuffin? The idea is laughable. But even that distant possibility is closed to you now." He rose his head, staring down his nose at the red serpent. "Aid me, and I will give you the Princess. She will be stripped of her power, both magical and political. Helpless and alone. What happens to her after that is completely irrelevant to me."

Kamikazan gulped, an enormous lump rolling down his long, serpentine throat.

"But this prize requires a sacrifice. A matter of days within the gem. A paltry price, but if your pride cannot tolerate that, well..."

"Why does it have to be your weapon? If you think to defeat the Princess to seize her power, I can aid you directly in combat!" the dragon prince insisted.

"Your Majesty. Please." Rite shook his head. "We both know you could not truly bring your full might to bear against Celestia. One time you tried, and you spent the next few centuries trapped under an obsidian wasteland for your trouble. "

Then the sorcerer's expression changed further. He became bitter and downcast as he uttered his next words. "Besides, I could defeat Celestia on my own. Probably. But that is not the objective. I plan to break the bonds of destiny, not submit to them."

"You... what? Destiny? What are you blathering on about?" Kamikazan demanded.

Rite set his jaw. "Time is short, your Majesty. Choose. We can part here, and you can do what you'd like. But Princess Celestia will never be yours. Sparkle will give her the MacGuffin Stone, you will be scorned as an inept, malicious buffoon who couldn't even be trusted to seize some pony's treasure, and then some time later the royal Canterlot line will fall in a largely unrelated incident. OR... you agree to aid me. I will seize the artifact, use it on you, and by the time you're released Canterlot will be in ruins. Celestia will be powerless, and be given over to your... protection. If all goes well she won't even know of your complicity, although at that point it would hardly matter."

He had to spit the last word out through his teeth, as the prospect honestly made Rite feel ill. He had no illusions as to what he was doing; he was selling a mare - a Princess, at that! - like a piece of livestock. It was revolting, and wrong, and dozens of alternate plans and possibilities flitted through his thoughts. Part of him really hoped the dragon would think it too much and turn him down, but he knew he had to make the offer. Solving one of the main problems with his plan - the lack of a power source with which to attack Celestia - while also swaying a potential obstacle to his side was too great an opportunity not to try.

Kamikazan grimaced, turning his head away. Seconds passed while the serpent agonized over the bargain. The tense silence stretched into minutes. It was a frightening prospect, to leash his fate to that of some pony he had just met hours prior. So much could go wrong. Blood Rite could fail. Or he may succeed, but end up killing Celestia in the process. Or he might succeed and decide not to release his collaborator after all. Kamikazan could see no way to guarantee the stallion would hold up his part of the bargain entirely.

But Blood Rite was surely correct in his analysis. Celestia had given him a chance and he had failed her. In the past she had despised him for his cruelty and selfishness, but at least she respected his fearsome strength. But now? After he had been thrashed by a lowly equine rogue? This was the only way he could see to secure his prize.

Perhaps, though, he could secure a little more.

"I have one condition," Kamikazan finally said, his tongue snaking out between his teeth. "One other pony must be laid low during your little rebellion, should it actually succeed. If you help end him, then I will submit to be this artifact's... power source."

Rite arched an eyebrow.

"We must find and kill Ranma Saotome," Kamikazan snarled. "Whether by tooth and flame, or the machinations of your sorcery, I care not. The equine known as Havoc must die."

"...... I think that can be arranged," Rite replied, his lips curling into a smirk again.

Twilight Sparkle cracked a deep yawn and leaned backward, stretching out her wings. Little pains shot up her back, causing her to grimace and squeeze her eyes shut. The book she was levitating in front of her quivered in the air, slightly disturbed by her wavering concentration.

"Wings hurt, huh? I told you should have been working them earlier," Rainbow Dash admonished with a smirk. "Then again, I guess you didn't think you'd be fighting a dragon so soon after getting away from Blood Rite, did you?"

Twilight shot an unreadable expression at the pegasus. Rainbow was standing near the back of the train car, holding a toothbrush with her wingtips. Her mouth was currently full of toothpaste lather, and the cyan mare briefly stepped back into the tiny restroom stall to spit it out into the sink.

Then she wiped her mouth with a leg and stepped back into the main compartment of the train's sleeper car. "Where's Havoc? Still in the caboose?"

Twilight closed her eyes, and with a thought a flashing beacon appeared in her mind.

"Yes. He's still in the caboose," Twilight sighed. "I hope he's okay. He's taking this really hard."

"You mean she's taking this really hard, don't you?" Rainbow asked.

"No, Ranma asked me for some hot water a few hours ago. Presumably he's a stallion again." Then she tilted her head to the side. "Also, if he's not actually present to refer to, then 'he' is probably the best pronoun given that it's his real gender."

"Hmmm... I dunno. I kinda think Havoc is cooler as a pegasus. Or Calamity? Isn't that what Trixie called him before she stormed off? That's a cool name too!" Rainbow Dash mused.

"Dash, you've already bullied him into accepting a fake name because you like it better. Please don't do the same with his sex," Twilight deadpanned.

Rainbow chuckled and slid onto the seat opposite Twilight's. Applejack and Spike were already asleep, laid out on the slab-like beds built into the walls of the train's sleeper car. It was well past time that all the ponies should have been asleep, but some were more restless about the current state of affairs than others.

"Okay, okay. I hope HE snaps out of his funk soon, though. I have so many questions to ask him! That fight against Kamikazan was AWESOME! It made his battle against the dragonspawn look like a mid-evening cloud plow!"

Twilight had only a vague idea of what a cloud plow was and its relative difficulty/quality of spectacle, but she got the point. "Awesome in the technical sense, I suppose. There was nothing good about that battle."

"Well... okay, yeah. The way Trixie went off on him was less awesome. But he'll get over it," Rainbow said, stretching out her own wings. "He's gonna love Ponyville! As long as you don't blow him up again."

Twilight slapped her book closed and carefully dropped it onto the table, all the while glaring at her friend. "Yes. I'm sure he will. But we can't just brush aside what happened between them, as convenient as that would be. They were obviously very close."

"They didn't look that close from where I was flying," Rainbow murmured. "I mean, I get why she was upset, but who just unloads like that on a friend? Over a wagon?! And after he beat up a dragon over that same wagon!" Her face darkened, and she leaned in closer to Twilight. "Did you see the way he was shaking on the ground? I thought the poor guy was going to break into tears! What the hay happened to make him so afraid of her?"

Twilight sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. I'd like to ask, but... well, Ranma's been through a lot, and that seems like a... sensitive subject. I just want to help him clear his name and recover the MacGuffin Stone, and for that I really need him to trust me. One thing at a time."

"Yeeeeeah, about that..." Rainbow made a face, glancing over to the rear of the compartment. "I'm still not clear on how we're going to get him to give up the magic thingy. Didn't he already refuse?"

"He did. And I don't think it's going to be easy to change his mind, either." Twilight slumped in her seat. "If he won't surrender the MacGuffin Stone, then it’s going to be a lot more awkward asking Princess Celestia for a pardon. But I'm not going to try to steal it from him or trick him into giving it to me. It’s possible that this all turns into a stalemate, with Ranma keeping the artifact out of stubbornness and Equestria trying to trap him out of fear."

Then her expression hardened and she pushed herself up. "But it doesn't have to be like that. Ranma is a good pony! He's already helped us a lot by saving me and tracking down Blood Rite! He's fought dragons to stop their rampages even though he could have easily escaped himself! He could do so much good if we can just clear up this absurd misunderstanding! I want to be his friend!"

"Definitely!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Just gotta stop blowing him up!"

"I only did it once!" Twilight growled, her voice a near-shout. "Why won't you let it go?!"

"Because it's still hilarious," Rainbow giggled behind a hoof. "I mean, you completely demolished your house and blasted him all the way to AJ's place, and everypony just laughed it off as an accident. How many ponies would have even survived that?"

Twilight crossed her forelegs, glaring at the pegasus silently.

"Oh, fine. Be a stick in the mud." Rainbow hopped down from the bench and stretched out her wings again. "I think I'm gonna turn in. Probably going to have to work a double shift again for the Weather Team to make up for my Save the World days."

"Good idea," Twilight mumbled, stepping down from her own seat and slipping her book back into a saddlebag. "It is pretty late."

Rainbow Dash trotted over to her bunk - top row, of course, right over Applejack - and made a high jump right under the covers. She rolled about for a moment, wrapping the sheet around her, and then collapsed onto the pillow with a contented sigh.

Twilight moved next to her bunk and slipped her bag under it. Rather than climbing in, however, her eyes wandered to the door in the back of the train.

She closed her eyes, and the beacon in her mind's eye blazed as bright as any lighthouse.

Twilight opened her eyes again to stare at the door.

Then the young Princess headed for the back of the train.

"Hey, Sparks."

Twilight felt her heart jump slightly when Ranma greeted her without turning his head.

The stallion was at the rear platform of the caboose of the train, reared up against the railing that separated the train car from the open track behind it. He stared out at the land left behind, his pigtail fluttering in the wind. An empty water cup sat on the floor at his hooves.

Twilight shouldn't have been surprised that she hadn't snuck up on Ranma. She wasn't trying to, for one, and the sound of the caboose entrance opening was anything but silent. But somehow the mare suddenly felt like she had intruded upon something by coming here.

After several more seconds Ranma still hadn't turned to face her, and she considered turning away in embarrassment. She couldn’t decide what to say. The cursed pony's past still loomed large in her thoughts; both his immediate past of dragon-dueling and leaving Trixie's side and his supposed long-term past as a different creature from a different world where unicorns were some kind of novelty. How could she connect with somepony like him? Ranma seemed friendly enough to her, but she didn't kid herself that he considered her a friend he could trust. She could never forget that her first attempt to help Ranma ended with her electrocuting him and her second blew him up (as much as she wished other ponies would).

It made Twilight wonder: What had Trixie done that she and Ranma had become so close? Trixie was a self-absorbed liar and traveling showpony. It seemed strange to Twilight that Ranma could come to rely on somepony so selfish and vindictive. It didn't surprise her that their friendship had ended with Trixie screaming at him over random collateral damage until he left, only that it hadn't happened long before now. And yet... Ranma's final act as Trixie's companion was to ask Twilight and her friends to donate everything they could spare to help Trixie recover. He obviously didn't feel a shred of resentment over her behavior; only guilt.

"Do you miss her that much?" The words spilled out of Twilight's mouth before she could think better of it, suddenly breaking the wistful silence.

Ranma ducked his head, embarrassed. "I, uh... I guess. Sorry," he mumbled, slumping against the railing. "It’s been hours since we left and I'm just moping around."

"N-No! I didn't mean it like that!" Twilight stuttered. "You obviously have good reason to be sad! I don't know what you and Trixie have been through, but your letter made it really obvious you were close!"

The memory of Ranma, red-faced and stuttering, dictating his goodbye letter to Spike was burned into the Princess's mind as firmly as the sight of his launching tornadoes and cowering before Trixie's shouting. He apparently couldn't write himself, and he obviously found it humiliating to pour his heart out like that in front of mares he barely knew. But he had done it anyway.

Twilight wondered how Trixie had reacted when she saw the letter. Was she shocked? Angry? Sad? Elated? Or did she shrug it off with breezy indifference and rejoice in recovering some essential supplies and funds? The prospect fascinated her. Ranma was very easy to read - if still very strange and mysterious in other ways - but Trixie had become better than ever at fast-talk and manipulating a conversation. If Twilight took Trixie's words at face value, she would have guessed that the magician thought of Ranma as a useless, aggravating burden unfairly foisted upon her by cruel, unrelenting fate. Yet Spike's nagging doubts had become her own. There was clearly something there besides the professional relationship of a bodyguard and his long-suffering employer.

"How long do you think this will take? A pardon, I mean."

Ranma's question snapped Twilight out of her thoughts. "Well, that... depends. Surely you understand that it's very, very important to Princess Celestia that she recovers the MacGuffin Stone."

In an instant, Ranma's demeanor changed. He snorted irritably and turned so that he was leaning his elbow against the railing. "I already told you, Sparks. It isn't happening. The MacGuffin Stone is mine."

"Yes, I understand," Twilight said with a gentle nod of her head. "I want to change your mind."

Ranma wanted to retort with a stubborn jab to emphasize his defiance, but his heart just wasn't in it. He found Twilight's earnestness rather disarming, and he couldn't say that he was relishing ownership of the ancient artifact right now.

With a swipe of his foreleg, the MacGuffin Stone flipped up into the air, and then landed on his upraised hoof. He'd gotten much better and handling things without fingers, although he still hadn't mastered whatever absurd pony magic allowed them to grab or adhere onto things with their hooves.

"So much trouble over this dumb rock," Ranma growled. "Jealous cultists, evil sorcerers, dragons, and even pony Princesses. And what's it ever done for me?! The stupid thing won't even give me back my clothes! MAYBE it could change me back to a human and MAYBE it could send me home again, but nobody knows how to use it except that jerk Rite!"

Twilight stared at the artifact, blinking at her reflection in its prismatic surface. "Okay, um... I kind of brushed this off before, but where ARE you keeping the Stone when you're not visibly carrying it?"

Ranma didn't seem to be listening. "Every time I pin that guy down, he manages to escape somehow! But even if I did manage to trap him, what then? Does he know how to change me back or send me home? What if he doesn't? Or what if he does but it doesn't matter because of my magic allergy? What the heck am I supposed to do?! I feel like I'm running around in circles!"

Ranma stood up straight, glaring at the gem, and Twilight's heart skipped a beat. For a moment, it looked like he was preparing to fling it into the wilderness.

Instead, though, he tucked the MacGuffin Stone... away. Somewhere. It was gone now.

"I'd toss it or bury it if the stupid thing didn't attract everyone straight to it like some kind of jerk magnet." Ranma groused. Then he turned to look at Twilight, his ears pinned back. "No offense."

"None taken!" Twilight said with an awkward chuckle. "But this is also something we can help you with!"

Ranma's ears perked up instantly.

"Er... maybe," the purple mare added weakly.

His ears dropped again.

"I'd certainly want to study the MacGuffin Stone if it were released to Canterlot's control! Aside from helping you return to your birth species and home world, an artifact that powerful could potentially do enormous good for Equestria in the right hooves!" She smiled hopefully and fluttered her eyelashes. "As could its owner!"

Ranma didn't look very flattered, staring out at the tracks again. Twilight's expression turned serious again and she cleared her throat.

"I know you've been through a lot, Ranma, and you don't have much reason to trust me. Frankly, you're being very understanding and tolerant considering how Equestria has treated you and given that you know I want something from you. But I'm doing this to help you. Not just because you saved my life and I owe you something, but because you deserve it. You've worked too hard and risked too much to be chased out of Equestria over an escalating misunderstanding."

Twilight placed a hoof against Ranma's shoulders, and the martial artist blushed despite himself. He still didn't care for her plan of begging a pardon from Celestia or handing over the MacGuffin Stone; in fact, Twilight's record for helping him in general was rather questionable so far. But she was honestly trying and regretted her mistakes. That counted for a lot in Ranma's book.

"Th-Thanks," the pigtailed pony muttered, still facing away with his cheeks flushed. "If you guys hadn't shown up when you did, I don't know what I would have done. I mean, obviously I still would have beaten Kamikazan! Obviously. But, y'know... after that..."

Twilight smiled back, and then pointed a hoof toward the door. "We won't reach Ponyville station until morning. We should get some rest now." She turned around and headed toward the exit.

"... Yeah. That sounds good," Ranma mumbled, casting a final, regretful glance at the tracks behind him.

Twilight pushed the door open to the sleeper car, noting that the lights were off. She fed a little power to the tip of her horn to create more light, and then walked quietly up to her bunk.

"Good night Ranma," Twilight whispered, lifting the sheet up with her magic and then sliding under it. She slumped onto her side, facing the wall.

"G'night, Sparks," Ranma replied, dropping onto the bunk next to her.

The magic aura holding the sheet up faltered, dropping it over Ranma's side. He snuggled closer against Twilight's back, shifting about until he got comfortable. Then he sighed pleasantly and closed his eyes.

Twilight remained absolutely still, her eyes quite open and as wide as saucers. Her horn flickered intermittently, the magic still flowing despite the break in her concentration.

Several seconds passed, but the alicorn dared not move. Twilight had no idea what was happening or why. Her thoughts were a confused whirlwind, and sweat started to collect and roll down her brow.

Is this some sort of bizarre human thing? Did I make a mistake? Should I have pointed out the empty bunk? Was there some cue I missed during our conversation? Should I do something? Am I facing the wrong way? Maybe if clear my throat? I can teleport, right? Would that be rude? Why am I worried about being rude to a stallion who just climbed into my bed without permission? Should I scream? Would that help? Is he trying to tell me something? Could I give him a little shock as a hint? Does his magic allergy translate the specific effect of a spell at random, or does it also randomize the approximate quantity of magical energy used in manifesting the intended effect? Would he be mad if I blew him up again? Would I survive that at this close range? Is this what he wants in order to give up the MacGuffin Stone? If it is, shouldn't he say something? Where DID he put that thing? Is this all some kind of-

A soft snore snapped Twilight out of her silent panic. Ranma was asleep.

"Next stop, Ponyville station! Please take a moment to check your seating area for any personal objects you may have left behind! Thank you for riding with us, and we hope to see from you soon, everypony!"

A foghorn heralded the train's arrival, and the vehicle squealed to a stop next to the embarking platform. Station workers unlocked the car doors, and the few passengers disembarking at Ponyville began to exit the train.

"Well shucks, fights with dragon royalty aside, that wasn't so bad," Applejack cracked her neck as she stepped onto the platform, and then cast a glance back at the others. "Brought back yer stallion and made good time, too!"

"Hay, even the fight with Kamikazan was pretty great!" Rainbow Dash laughed while exiting behind the farmer. Then she launched herself into the air to hover above the platform. "That'll teach him to get sniffy with us! Pony power!"

Ranma exited next, but he wasn't really paying attention to the mares ahead of him. He was staring worriedly at Twilight Sparkle, who was stumbling toward the entrance behind him. The purple Princess looked exhausted, with her mane in disarray and bags under her eyes. When he'd woken up that morning Twilight had already left the bunk, and he'd found her sitting in one of the booth seats reading. Clearly she had gotten up too early, but when he'd tried to ask about it she just blushed and pretended not to hear him.

Spike was trailing behind the alicorn, and the young dragon seemed just as concerned. "Are you sure you don't want me to carry your bags, Twi? You look like you're about to fall over."

"N-No. No. Fine. I'm fine," she retorted, eye lids twitching. "Jus... Let's jus' get home..." She noticed Ranma's concerned stare and quickly turned her head away again, cheeks burning.

"Well, unless ya wanna give Havoc another pitch to hoof over the shiny thang, Ah think we better git a move on," Applejack noted.

Twilight's eyes glanced over to Ranma's. Then they darted away again, and she scurried past him with her head down. "L-Later," she mumbled, gaze pinned to the dirt.

"Well, all right. Ah'll see ya later, then," Applejack said with a shrug. "Bye, Dash. Havoc, yer with me. Ah reckon ya may not remember the way t'the farm, seein' how ya mostly traveled by bein' blasted through the air last time."

"Ha! True!" Ranma laughed. Then he sobered quickly. "Uh, sorry again about your trees and stuff. Not my fault."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Hey y'all! Ah'm back! And Ah brought back some help, too!"

Applejack let out a happy sigh as she crossed the threshold to her home, and then beckoned for the stallion behind her to follow. Ranma walked into the farmhouse uncertainly, looking around at the home interior.

Before long, three other ponies entered the living room: a tiny yellow filly with a red mane and a bow, an old, wrinkled, lime-colored mare, and a large crimson stallion with a harness around his neck.

"Hey everypony! This here's Havoc, some troublemaker that Twi tracked down 'round Lancanter." Applejack nudged her head toward the pigtailed stallion.

"My name is ACTUALLY Ranma," Ranma grumbled, rolling his eyes, "but I guess you can call me Havoc if you want. Everyone else does except Sparks."

"If ya wanna know why, ya'll might remember that tornado that ripped through the orchard 'bout a month ago and tossed a dragon critter into our barn. That was his doin'," Applejack said blithely. "Anywho, this here is Granny Smith. The squirt is Apple Bloom, mah sister. And the big 'un is Big Macintosh, mah older brother."

Big Mac gave a simple nod of acknowledgement and a small smile. The others were more suspicious, eyeing the gray stallion with narrowed eyes.

"Hey, Ah think Ah know you..." Apple Bloom mused, tilting her head to the side. "Miss Cheerliee told us to read a newspaper and explain the story fer class! Yer the one that attacked Princess Luna!"

"I didn't ATTACK her, it was a duel!" Ranma protested. "A duel that SHE started! What was I supposed to do?!"

"Couldn't ya have just said no?" Applejack asked.

"It was a matter of honor, okay? If you challenge me, then I have to accept. That's the rules."

Apple Bloom scratched her chin. "Didn't ya also beat up General Firebrand fer a rebellion to overthrow Canterlot's rule? That was in Silver Spoon's newspaper report."

"Well... Okay, fine, I did do that. That wasn't a rule thing. I guess that was kind of bad," Ranma said. "But I was only pretending to be an evil rebel at the time, and I couldn't figure out any other way to ditch him."

"Look, there ain't no question that Havoc here has made some mistakes," Applejack interjected, "that's part o' why he came to Ponyville. Ah'm not a hunnerd percent on 'im mahself - no offense, sugarcube - but he saved Twilight's life and she pulled out all the stops to bring him here so he could make amends and clear his name. If Twilight vouches fer him, then as far as Ah'm concerned, mah home is his home." She paused to pat the stallion on the shoulder. "Also, he owes me at least a week's hard labor fer the supplies Ah gave to Trixie."

Ranma offered an annoyed grunt, but made no further protest. Granny Smith hobbled forward and looked the martial artist over, squinting her eyes.

"Well, troublemaker he might be, but he looks like the sturdy sort. Good catch, Applejack! Ah'm right proud of ya! 'Bout time ya found yerself a beau."

"It ain't like that," Applejack said flatly. "Again, no offense Havoc, but yer not really mah type."

"None taken," Ranma agreed. "Besides, it would never work out. I'm a human!"

"Now, now. Ah know we come off as old-fashioned, but this is a progressive household," Granny assured him. "Yer kooky, made-up religions are all welcome here!"

"Can I get to work?" Ranma asked Applejack, his voice exasperated.

"Absolutely. Big Mac, you can take 'im from here. Ah'll get the guest room ready, an' then check on the farm chores."

The other stallion wordlessly walked toward the front door, and Ranma turned to follow him outside. They plodded toward the barn - freshly built and painted after Ranma's last visit to town - and then Big Mac stopped near the corner and turned.

The crimson farmer pointed a hoof toward a large wagon. It was stacked full of hay bales, and there were many more bales piled into small towers behind it.

"Move the hay inta the barn, please," Big Mac rumbled. "To the back."

Ranma actually jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. "Oh! R-Right. No problem."

The martial artist walked up to one such hay bale, dug a hoof underneath the edge, and then flipped it up in the air. The bale spun around, flinging hay scraps about, and then landed firmly on Ranma's back.

If Big Mac was impressed by the casual feat of strength, he didn't show it. The crimson pony watched silently while Ranma carried the bale into the barn and dropped it off next to a much smaller pile of hay bales in the far corner.

Ranma glanced back at the farmer. Big Mac smiled slightly and nodded his head. Then, without another word, the crimson stallion turned away and plodded off.

With no criticism forthcoming of his hay-moving technique, Ranma proceeded to the task ahead. It was dull, laborious work, and he didn't like it, but at least it was simple muscle labor that he was unlikely to screw up.

Upon his fifth trip to the hay wagon, he flipped three bales onto his back, one at a time, to create a small, uneven tower on top of him.

"This is gonna be a miserable week, but I have to do it," Ranma mumbled to himself while headed into the barn. "Can't screw up, and can't start any fights. If I can't pay everyone back and end up getting kicked out of this place, then I've got nowhere left to go. These are the only ponies other than Trixie who have ever tried to even give me a chance." He reached the back and then tilted to the side, letting the bales fall into place one by one. "Well, them and Swan Song, I guess."

Ranma shuddered.

Then he shuddered even more while a rumbling emanated from his belly. Ranma sat back on his haunches and pressed his hooves against his stomach. He had been given a few meager travel pastries for dinner the previous night and for breakfast on the train, which was basically all he had eaten in the past twenty hours. While he didn’t want to complain about the free food he was getting, they were far from the generous portions he was used to in Trixie's employ. After the fight against Kamikazan he was particularly hungry, and he was still looking at a full day's hard labor ahead of him.

He stared down at his stomach, and then looked up at the hay bales.

Hay was easily his least favorite horse food, clocking in just below plain grass, but it WAS food. Looking around, the barn also held piles of apples and crates of other crops. Unsurprising, of course, since he was on a farm. But surely those were higher-value products than a heap of straw.

I'm sure they don't want me eating any of the good crops, but they wouldn't miss a hay bale, would they? They have a ton of this garbage! I won't even eat a full bale. Just half. Well, no, if I leave a bunch of half-eaten straw that might raise questions. Full bale. Can't leave any evidence. Gotta be fast, and then back to work!

He glanced right, and then left. Ranma's ears perked, his heartbeat slowed, and he stretched his senses to their maximum, searching for any sign of intrusion or observation. A slight blue aura wrapped around his fur as he focused.

"...... Wait a minute." Ranma frowned and turned toward a stack of apple barrels on the side of the barn. One such barrel had a hole in the side and seemed to have apples piled around it, rather than inside of it.

He walked up to the barrel and glared at it. "So what's your deal? How long have you even been here? Are you like, barn security or something?"

A dart suddenly shot out of the hole in the barrel. Ranma jumped to the side with a yelp, barely avoiding the gleaming needle tip before it stabbed into a wooden support beam.

A moment later the top of the barrel flipped up and flew at Ranma, and a batpony in a black cloak leapt out in a dark blur.
Ranma caught the barrel lid on a hoof and held it in place, and was rewarded with the repeated thunks of several steel blades sinking into the wood. Flinging the improvised shield away, he flipped backward just before a pair of curved hoof talons sliced through the air toward him.

"Die, thief!" shouted the assailant, his voice a shrill hiss through his dark blue face mask.

"I didn't eat any hay! Leave me alone!" Ranma cried, landing on the side of a support beam and preparing to jump off to a good attack angle.

Before he could, a second batpony leapt down from the barn loft, stabbing her hoof talons for Ranma's head. He twisted quickly enough to avoid the blades, but his moment of hesitation let the assassin tackle him off the side of the beam and onto the ground.

"Goddamn ninja!" Ranma shouted, rolling backward while still entangled with the new pony. "Get offa me!"

He kicked her away at the end of his roll, sliding to a stop on his back while she was sent spinning into a wall. The mare failed to react quickly enough and impacted muzzle-first, bouncing off the newly constructed sideboard with a pained yelp.
Another pair of talons flew toward his exposed belly, but Ranma struck them with a hoof to knock the blades off-course. Then he flipped upright again, striking his other assailant in the nose while he did so.

"Get sent to some alien planet full of cuddly colored talking animals and I still have pajama-wearing lunatics trying to kill me!" the martial artist complained while the assassins quickly stumbled back into ready combat stances. "How are you guys even up right now? Aren't bats supposed to be sleeping during the day?"

"Mere daylight will not stay the blades of the Lunar Guard," hissed one of the assassins through his mask.

"Although we're pretty lucky you were assigned to work in the barn; it's cool and dim in here, which is SUPER convenient for our ambushes," confessed the mare.

One of the hay bales behind Ranma suddenly burst apart, and a third thestral jumped for the cursed equine's back.

Ranma's reflexes were faster than the soldier, however, and his surprise attack earned him a buck to the chest. The third batpony was sent careening backward through the air, although he received a mercifully soft landing among the stacked hay.

"Aw, are you kidding me?! Now I'm down a hay bale anyway, and I didn't even get to eat it!" Ranma shouted angrily.

The other ponies blink-blinked. "... What?"

Ranma leapt into action rather than explain himself, and soon the barn was given over to the sound of screeching battle cries and shouts of pain.

"Hey, Applejack! Applejack! Do you know where Havoc is?"

Rainbow Dash shouted excitedly and swooped into a dive when she spotted the farmer in the fields below. Applejack had to restrain a frustrated sigh at being interrupted while watering her crops; hardly any time had passed since Rainbow Dash had left at the train station, and she had a minor backlog of chores to get to now that she had gotten back to work.

"Ah think Mac has him workin' in the barn, but Ah'd rather ya didn't bother him right now. He just got here an' Ah wanna get as much work outta him as Ah can 'fore Twi drags him off to Canterlot."

"Barn, got it," Rainbow Dash said. "Don't worry, this won't take long. I just wanted to introduce the rest of the girls. I told them all about the dragon fight!"

Applejack glanced down the road and spotted Rarity and Pinkie Pie approaching at a brisk pace with Fluttershy trailing close behind them. "Well, ya know Ah don't mind entertainin' company, but like Ah said Ah'd prefer he not be distracted right now," Applejack drawled. "Aside from his chores, he's still sulkin' a bit over what all happened back in Lancanter. An' we're still tryin' to get on his good side so he'll give Twi the MacGuffin. Ah think y’all should give 'im some space."

"Sulking?! Well that's no good!"

Applejack cursed internally when Pinkie Pie accelerated to a gallop and raced over to join them. She hadn't meant for the other mares to overhear.

"I know what'll cheer him right up!" the pink pony shifted from a gallop into a bounce, jumping around Applejack and Rainbow Dash in a wide circle. "Let's throw him a Welcome to Ponyville party!"

"This is the same fellow that insists he's an alien come to this world through uncertain means and transformed into a pony, right?" Rarity asked once she reached a comfortable speaking distance.

"Uhm, I think that's the same one," Fluttershy confirmed hesitantly. "And the last time he was here a dragonspawn followed him from the Everfree and he shot it into the air with a tornado." She paused. "Along with himself."

"Yeah, that's the guy!" Rainbow said with a self-satisfied nod.

"Oh, dear... IS he an alien after all?" Rarity asked, grimacing slightly.

"Could be. Looks like a pony t'me, but Ah don't know of any other pony that can grow wings by addin' water or turn fire into a twister." Applejack shrugged, tipping her hat to the side. "Havoc don't strike me as the mysterious type, but there's an awful lot we don't know 'bout him."

"But what we DO know is pure awesome!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "He's some kind of cursed outlaw warrior who explodes when you use magic on him, throws tornadoes, fights duels of honor, turns into a pegasus, and carries a secret Artifact of Doom!"

"And this... dangerous-sounding fellow... is going to be staying on Applejack's farm performing rote manual labor?" Rarity asked with an arched eyebrow.

Applejack turned around and started leading the other mares toward the barn, deciding that there was no stopping them at this point. "Well, the way Ah see it, he's mainly good fer muscle work and huntin' dragons. And Ah don't need no dragons taken down."

"Yet," Rainbow added ominously.

Applejack shot her a harsh look. "Now you quit that. Ah'm takin' a risk havin' Havoc on mah property and livin' with mah family. If we start getting beasties roamin' the orchard lookin' fer his magic rock, then it's yer turn to put 'im up."

"Okay, deal!" Rainbow said with a smirk. The barn was just ahead now, although she couldn't spot Ranma anywhere. "But if there any battles here, make sure to let me know! I wanna watch!"

"What'd Ah just say?! Don't jinx me, Dash! Ah ain't aimin' to have no fights on mah farm!" Applejack snapped.

A loud crash came from inside the barn, followed by an agonized, high-pitched screech.

"... Aw, consarn it," Applejack groaned before doubling her pace.

The deep, meaty sound of a steel blade stabbing into wood.

The bang of something striking a wall, followed by a brief tremor shaking the wooden slats.

The crack of hoof and bone, impacting with horrific force and gruesome effect.

Applejack slowed her approach toward the barn entrance, unable to see what was happening inside. A cloud of dust and hay blasted out of the front of the building, followed by another shriek of agony.

She stopped and took a deep breath. "Havoc? What's goin' on in there?!" Applejack demanded.

For a moment, all was still and silent.

Then three unconscious bodies were flung out of the barn, one after another, landing in a heap on the path.

Fluttershy gasped and Rainbow Dash whistled. Applejack's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Pinkie Pie made an "Ooooooooh" noise, leaning way forward toward the pony pile.

"Those are... Luna's guard ponies, aren't they?" Rarity asked, her face darkening.

"Wh-What are they doing here?" Fluttershy asked, creeping closer behind Rarity and shrinking behind her.

"Getting their clocks cleaned, by the look of it," Rainbow mumbled.

Ranma stepped out of the barn entrance.

He walked over to the pile of hay bales, paying no particular attention to the mares watching him. He flipped a bale onto his back, turned around, and then marched back into the barn with his head down and his expression inscrutable.

After several seconds, Ranma emerged again without the hay bale, once again trudging past the pile of thestrals on the ground.

"Hey, ya wanna take five and explain what just happened?" Applejack growled.

Ranma stopped in his tracks, finally acknowledging the farmer. He frowned, stared down at the thestrals, scratched his head with a hoof, and then looked up again.

"Not really, no."

"Why're ya fightin' Lunar Guard in mah barn, Havoc?" Applejack demanded.

"Well what am I supposed to do when ninja ponies ambush me?" Ranma complained. "Look, I'm still doing my job, okay? I didn't break anything, and I'll have your hay moved in a little bit. Unless more of them show up, I guess." He paused to punch a hoof into a random hay bale, waited a few seconds for a reaction, and then nodded in satisfaction. Then he flipped it up onto his back.

"Aw, fer Sam Apple's sake," Applejack slumped onto her haunches, rubbing her forehead. "Ya just got here and already we have brawls breakin' out on mah property."

"Okay, but this doesn't count toward what you said earlier, right?" Rainbow Dash mused aloud. "You said you'd kick him out if 'beasties' started attacking, and I don't think batponies count."

This was enough to startle Ranma, and his current load slipped off of his back. "Wh-What? Kick me out?! But I didn’t start the fight! They attacked me out of nowhere!"

Applejack groaned into her hoof. "Yeah, Ah s'ppose they did. Not that it makes a lick 'o difference."

"Please don't kick me out! I already blew up Spark’s house the first time I was here and I don't want to bother Zee again!" Ranma begged, clapping his front hooves together. "I can't start bouncing from place to place already! I'll never be able to stay in Ponyville long enough to pay you back if I do!"

"Awww, poor thing!"

Ranma blinked, suddenly finding a teary-eyed mare nose-to-nose with him. Her fur, mane, and tail were all bubblegum pink, and she had somehow crossed the distance between them without his noticing.

"Don't worry! If you get chased out of Sweet Apple Acres then you can room with me!" Pinkie Pie suddenly lunged forward for a hug.

Ranma dodged backward, letting the mare bounce onto the pile of batponies. A pained squeak came from the thestrals, followed by quiet weeping.

"So... who are you, again?" Ranma took a few additional steps back from the extremely friendly pink pony.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" she hopped back upright, not obviously bothered by having her attempt at a hug evaded. She was also still standing on the battered Lunar Guard, but again, nopony seemed to care. "I'm so happy to meet you! We're gonna be best friends!"

"Oh. Uh, okay," Ranma cleared his throat and straightened. "My name is Saotome Ranma."

"Nope!" Pinkie chirped. "Your name is Havoc!"

"Dammit, Rainbow Dash!" Ranma complained, glaring at the pegasus above him.

She just laughed, flipping around and landing next to the martial artist before patting his withers with her wing. "What did I tell you, dude? It's the better name!" Then she brightened further. "And Trixie called you Calamity, right? That's your name for your pegasus form? That's even more awesome! You have a secret identity!"

Ranma groaned and looked away.

"Well, I for one think Saotome Ranma is a fine name." Rarity approached the stallion with an appraising look. "It's so... exotic. A remnant of a long-lost, faraway world. And perhaps the only scrap of it left, other than this so-called MacGuffin Stone."

Before Ranma could come up with a response to that, the unicorn inclined her head. "Ah, but I'm being rude. My name is Rarity. Please, if there's anything I can do to make your stay in Ponyville more comfortable, do let me know."

"Can I have some food, please?" he asked immediately.

"Hey, you'll get yer lunch break after yer chores're done," Applejack interjected.

Ranma's stomach lodged its objection in lieu of words, growling with such ferocity that Fluttershy jumped in fright. Pinkie and Rainbow snickered at the sound, while Rarity flushed and gasped.

"Oh dear, the poor stallion is famished!" she exclaimed. "Applejack, you simply must let us take him to lunch immediately! Between the fighting for his very life and the brute labor, he's likely to collapse!"

Applejack narrowed her eyes at Ranma. He blinked back innocently. His stomach rumbled again less loudly, like the weakened aftershock in the wake of an earthquake.

"Aww, do whatcha want," the farmer huffed, turning around and heading back to her crops. "Ah s'ppose that hay ain't goin' nowhere. Just be sure ya come back and get'r done, y'hear?"

"Yes, ma'am, Apple ma'am!" Ranma said, snapping one leg up in salute.

"Just follow me, darling," Rarity said, trotting in the direction of Ponyville. "We'll give you a welcoming feast fit for a Princess!"

"Uhm..." Fluttershy squirmed slightly, her eyes darting back to the batponies on the ground. "So... are we just... leaving the Lunar Guard here? Because... well..."

"Oh, right." Rarity paused. "Saotome Ranma, this is Fluttershy. She's a bit on the quiet side, you may have noticed." Then she started trotting out again.

"Yeah, I remember you. You're the dragon translator, right?" Ranma asked while walking past, causing Fluttershy to flinch back.

"Er, so, the uh... the batpo-"

"OOH! OOH! Let's eat at Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie Pie shouted, bouncing over Fluttershy.

"Pinkie, dear, I think doughnuts for lunch is a bit... unseemly."

"I don't think that at all," Ranma said, licking his lips.

"All right! Sugarcube Corner it is!" Rainbow Dash laughed, swooping over the other ponies.

Fluttershy sighed and sped up to follow the others.

"Sun and moon, a menagerie break-out and a dragon attack in the same day? Things are getting wild down South."

A unicorn guard sipped coffee on a bench while looking over the morning newspaper. A pair of earth ponies lounged across from him; one of them polishing his helmet while the other tried, and mostly failed, to pen a letter with a quill clenched between his teeth.

"What? Where was this?" asked the first stallion, putting down his helmet.

"Lancanter. Just out of Phillydelphia," the unicorn replied, pausing to sip more coffee.

"That's where that bandit clan collapsed just the other day, right? We had to transfer regional funds just so that they could pay out all the bounties! I've never seen anything like it!"

"It's close. Sure does seem like something's stirring up trouble in that area. Not that I'm going to complain about the bounty hunters earning their keep, for once. Celestia knows how many spend their careers chasing down alley thieves."

"Still bad for our budget, though."

A hoof knocked against the door.

The unicorn put his coffee down and slipped on his helmet. "Just a moment!"

With a pulse of magic, the long iron bar locking the reinforced front door slid out of place, and he pushed the door open.

The unicorn soldier stopped in front of the entrance, setting his spear butt-down on the floor next to him as he addressed their guest. "Welcome to Vanilla Peak outpost, citizen. Can I help you?"

Standing outside, at the end of the windy, rocky path that led up to the guard tower, was a single unicorn. He was wearing a voluminous cloak and hood, such that the soldier couldn't make much out as far as his features, but enough of the visitor's muzzle and legs were exposed that he could see it was a red-furred stallion.

"Thank goodness you're here. I have critical information for Canterlot," the visitor said. "I saw the rogue Havoc traveling with Twilight Sparkle outside of Lancanter. They're on their way to Canterlot!"

The guard blinked. "Uh... wh-what?"

In a flurry of magic, papers were levitated and unrolled in front of the soldier. "Listen to me! This is the rebel Havoc, a degenerate monster seeking to overthrow Princess Celestia!" One of the papers, a bounty poster with Ranma's image, bobbed up and down in the air. "My contact in Fillydelphia was tracking him down for bounty purposes. But after an incident outside of Lancanter, it seems he's heading toward the capital! He possesses a magic weapon and the means to use it, and he MUST be stopped!"

The other guards walked over to the entrance, confused and alarmed.

"Wait, hold on. You said Princess Twilight Sparkle was with this guy?" asked one of the earth ponies, frowning. "Are you trying to tell us that she's turned traitor?"

"Highly unlikely," the hooded stallion admitted. "I believe she's being coerced. Her magic may have been drained by the magic weapon, or perhaps Havoc is controlling or threatening her through other means. My contact was unable to get too close for fear of being discovered." His hoof pawed at the ground anxiously. "What I know is that he's on his way toward Ponyville, and eventually to Canterlot, and nopony else knows! If he isn't stopped before he reaches Canterlot, there's no telling what kind of damage he can do!"

The earth ponies shared pensive glance, and the unicorn soldier grimaced.

"I see. We'd better get a report ready, then. I'll need your name, as well as the name of your source. I have to verify this for command."

An impatient snort came from the visitor. "There's no time for that! We may have but hours to stop this madstallion! At least forward my warning to Canterlot so that they'll know he's coming!"

"I will, but it's going to take at least half a day by pegasus courier," the unicorn soldier said grimly. "So if our doom is as imminent as you say, there's nothing we can do about it all the way out here." He backed up a few steps, creating space for the hooded pony to enter. "I'll write up a dispatch and get it sent, and then we can work out the details and who this contact is. Is it someone in the Fillydelphia Bounty Hunter's guild?"

The other unicorn didn't enter. "You won't send it by air mail. In the basement of this outpost, there's a secret magic transmission system that can instantly wire documents to Canterlot's military command halls."

All of the soldiers seemed startled, and one of them glanced between his fellow guards. "Wait, really? We have that? I thought the basement was just used to store supplies and stuff."

The unicorn guard's expression hardened, and he shifted back to once again block entry into the outpost. "How do you know about that?! Who are you?!"

"I know about that because I helped design it," Blood Rite said, flipping back his hood behind his horn.

One of the guards' eyes bulged. "W-Wait! You're-"

"This could have gone so much easier..." Rite's horn pulsed, and every one of the soldiers felt a cold chill crawl up their legs.

The unicorn was the first to act, and the first to fall. His spear bobbed up into a stabbing position, and then a cloud of silvery light swept over the polearm. With a thought, the weapon snapped into three pieces, and all of them promptly shot toward its owner. The pieces of the wooden shaft bounced off the unicorn's armor, but the spearhead stabbed deeply into his shin. With a howl of pain, the stallion collapsed.

One of the earth ponies tried to charge as his companion fell, but a bolt of searing red lashed out from Rite's horn the instant he crossed the threshold. His spear bounced across the ground at the sorcerer's hooves, and the second guard collapsed in a gasping heap.

"There's no need for any of you to die here," Blood Rite said calmly, stepping past the twitching stallions toward the third one. That pony started backing up nervously, and his spear clattered onto the flagstones uselessly. "I merely have need of the construct I made so many years ago... then I'll take my leave."

The unicorn guard stood up, wincing at the pain and sweating profusely. "Soldier! Don't give up! We can-" a buck to his jaw slammed his head into the wall. His helmet popped off and bounced out the doorway, and then he slumped back onto the floor.

"Tch... useless." Rite cast a contemptuous glance behind him at the unconscious stallion. "Not that I ever took particular pride in Equestria's military or cared for its efficacy, but it's yet another institution rotting under Celestia's hapless rule."

The unharmed guard edged away toward the stairs that led up to the scout tower roof. His eyes were wide and he was sweating nervously, but he hadn't said anything yet and seemed to be clearing the way between Rite and the basement door.

Blood Rite considered the pony at length, and then made a judgment call. "Sorry. I can't afford to let you escape just yet."

His horn flashed, and a magic missile slammed into the final guard and threw him hard against the wall. The stallion promptly burst into green flame, which caused Rite to recoil and whinny in shock. A moment later, a changeling drone slumped to the floor, its eyes spinning.

"A changeling? That... That was a spy?"

Rite stared at the creature, dumbfounded. He'd heard of the changelings and their infiltration of Equestria, of course, as well as their brief attempt at conquest. But beyond that, they were merely one of several species and factions that lived at the margins of Equestrian civilization, siphoning off what prosperity they could from its porous borders and welcoming civil society. Having discovered one in hiding, he wasn't sure what to do about it. It wasn't as if he could turn it in to the guards.

"Well... I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to complain about you undermining the Equestrian state, but I am a pony first and revolutionary second," Rite declared, his horn lighting up again. "Whatever you were up to, equine-kind will be better off without-"

A clunking noise interrupted his monologue, and heavy wooden hatch leading to the basement cracked open.

"Hey, what was that noise?" A unicorn mare wearing a cloak poked her head up out of the stairwell leading down.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she saw an unfamiliar stallion whirling toward her, and she didn't get to see much else. Rite's telekinesis took hold of the entry hatch and slammed it down, striking her on the head. With a squeak of pain the mare tumbled back down the stairs and out of sight, screaming the entire way.

Biting back a curse, Rite flung the hatch open again and raced into the basement, hoping he hadn't just inadvertently broken the mare's neck. Not that he would be devastated by the death of an Equestrian soldier at his hooves, precisely, but the outpost's mage was rather crucial to his plans.

He found her groaning and trying to push herself up at the bottom of the steps amid a worrying - but thankfully thin - splash of blood across the floor. A pulse of magic from his horn promptly pressed her down firmly onto the floor again, and another sent the combat wand at her hip spinning away behind a stack of crates.

"Now, now, don't aggravate your injuries, dear. You likely have a slight concussion at least, and I need you awake for this next part," the sorcerer chided.

"Y... You... What do you..." she hissed painfully, curling up as best she could under the pressure of his telekinesis. Her vision was spinning, and one of her legs ached badly from her fall.

"Ssssh. This won't take long." Rite looked around the basement store room. A small, crowded space, full of supply crates and what passed for this mare's study: a writing desk and a small bookcase.

He raised an eyebrow at the bookcase, and walked past the mare to observe it. "You still keep the transmitters in hidden rooms? When Firebrand recommended such extensive security I thought it was mostly a waste of effort and resources." He chuckled. "It looks like Firebrand was right. But he didn't go far enough. He never does."

His horn flashed on and off, like a flickering lighting bulb. One book after another tilted back all across the top row, each one pushing back into its resting position with on an arc of white light. Then his magic crossed the second row in the same fashion, pulling every book at the top of its spine before pushing it back into place.

It was on the third row that a particular book offered a little more resistance, and when he pulled it back it settled into place with a click. A creak came from a hidden mechanism, and the entire bookcase started sliding across the floor to expose a hidden doorway.

His telekinesis wrapped around the mare on the ground to lift her up, and she yelped in pain at the pressure on her legs. "Pardon me, Miss. I'd prefer to be gentler, but I'm quite pressed for time. Enter the transmission room."

"Wh-What are you d-doing?" she gasped, limping into the next room under the pressure of the telekinetic force shoving her forward. "Why are y-you here?"

"I'm here to send a warning, obviously. Your friends upstairs were being difficult about it, but YOU'LL cooperate, won't you?" Rite sent an extra surge of energy into his telekinesis, shoving the mage forward onto the floor in the middle of the room.

The transmission altar was small, with a large stone slab centered in front of a runic obelisk just about the size of a pony's head. To the side was a desk, outfitted with vials of magic ink and vellum. All of these components were required in order to use the altar, and the mare at Rite's hooves was the only one in the outpost that knew the magic encryption to activate it. Anypony less knowledgeable about the process than he was would likely screw it up and obliviously watch their message disintegrate into nothing rather than being teleported to Equestria's highest command.

"That scaly lug had better keep up his end of the bargain after all this," Rite grunted, levitating a quill into the ink vial and unrolling some paper. "So much strife just to spare him some well-earned embarrassment."

He began to write, and then sensed a flicker of magic energy manifesting behind him. "Don't make me restrain you, please. This whole affair has been trying enough as it is."

The magic intensified rather than diminishing, and Rite grunted in exasperation. He turned and zapped the mare with a red beam, eliciting another pained scream and causing her magic spell to fizzle. The mage writhed on the floor in agony, kicking her legs and twitching.

"Such an ugly business, the Royal Guard," Rite mused aloud while he continued composing his missive. "You all suffer so much needless pain. So many pointless risks. And for what? What do you hope to preserve? Why do you sacrifice so much for your useless masters in Canterlot? Is it just what your cutie marks demand? Is this simply another asinine facet of our tortured destiny?"

The mare on the ground grit her teeth as the fire racing through her nerves began to ebb. "To stop... m-monsters... like you..."

Rite paused briefly in his writing. "... I'd like to say I'm not the monster in this story. That it will all be okay. That I'll deliver you peace in the end, or perhaps even paradise." He snorted, and then finished his letter with a jab of the quill. "But how hollow and absurd would that sound to you? Attacked out of nowhere for reasons unknown, hurled down a flight of stairs and then tormented into pacification at my whim... I won't insult you with claims of benevolence, young mage."

He floated the message onto the altar, and a few runes of the obelisk glittered slightly. "Perhaps this has already gone too far. Perhaps my sense of reason has already been consumed by my quest. Perhaps I am the monster after all."

Then he turned his gaze to the mare behind him, his horn and eyes shining brightly with power. "But I will NOT be stopped, little one. Not by hapless pawns like you. Now get up."

His levitation magic helped her to her hooves, and then shoved her toward the altar.

"Cast the spell. Send the message. And don't get it wrong. I'll know if the transmission was completed or not," Rite commanded.

The unicorn mare stared at him for a few seconds before her eyes wavered and she hung her head. Her horn began to glow a crackling, dark pink, and the mage mumbled a few words that made no sense to Blood Rite.

The obelisk glowed in sympathy, and its magic aura expanded to cover the entire altar. A few seconds later, arcs of power lashed across the rolled-up paper, and it vanished in a puff of smoke.

The mare cut off the magic to her horn, still hanging her head. A lone tear ran down her cheek, and then dripped onto the floor. "There... it's sent. I did as you asked."

Rite stared at the altar for a long moment, and then turned his icy gaze on the other unicorn. "I suppose you hoped I was bluffing about being able to tell whether the transmission worked or not. You just vaporized my message."

The mare's heart seized up, and she lurched away from Blood Rite with her eyes wide.

"The tear was a nice touch. But I'm afraid my time is more precious than your safety. And you've cost me too much of it..." Rite's horn started glowing again, the soft white aura flickering with sparks of glimmering crimson. "This next spell will search your memories directly and pick them apart in search of the information I need. The process is painful. Exceptionally so. Now... let's begin."

His magic slithered around her horn like an entangling whip, and she screamed in pain and terror.

She didn't stop for quite a while.

Rite emerged from the basement of the outpost almost half an hour later. His breathing was heavy, and sweat rolled steadily down his head. His task was complete. The message had been sent, and the altar destroyed to prevent any other messages leaving or arriving any time soon. His plans were set in motion once more and things were developing more or less as hoped. And frankly, he wanted to throw up.

The image of the unicorn mare writhing on the floor flashed before his eyes and her screams echoed in her ears, burned into his thoughts alongside the spell pattern he had sought. She had fallen comatose several minutes ago, but was still alive. The mage would probably even make a full recovery, so long as that concussion was treated properly. Her unwilling betrayal of her duties, meanwhile, would come to serve a greater, more worthy cause than her tiresome vigil and ineffective service to Canterlot's throne.

Such were the moral platitudes that Blood Rite whispered to himself as he departed his crime scene. The same as he had done a dozen times before.

They weren't working anymore.

He started trotting toward the exit, taking note of the other ponies he had pushed aside to accomplish this latest task. Unicorn Sergeant and Watchmaster, check. Earth pony rookie, check. Changeling... changeling? Right. There had been a changeling.

Rite honestly felt embarrassed that he had completely forgotten about having uncovered an enemy shape-shifter by accident. It was largely irrelevant to his plans, and he supposed he couldn't have just left the mage to her own devices while he took care of the spy, but even so it was quite a shocking development for him to have discarded.

More importantly, the changeling wasn't here anymore. Alone among his victims, it seems to have already fled.

"Well, that one will have quite a story to tell its queen, I suppose," Blood Rite mumbled with a grimace. "But enough of this. I still have more work to do."

He sighed wearily as he stepped out of the outpost and onto the path winding down the mountain. "Always, more work to do. But I can't stop now. I can never stop. Not until it's all over..."

"The hay is this? Havoc, in Ponyville? With Princess Sparkle?!"

General Wrath held a smoldering sheet of parchment in her wing, her jaw hanging open. Several pony captains were huddled behind her, and at the other end of a map table sat General Granite with his brow furrowed deeply.

"This is insane! It says they have verified information that suggests he's coercing Princess Sparkle into helping him get into Canterlot! He's planning to attack Princess Celestia!" Wrath said breathlessly, her eyes narrowing with each line.

"Princess Sparkle's been captured? Again?" mumbled one of the captains. "Is this just a Princess thing? I don't remember her having these problems as a unicorn."

"Shut it, soldier!" Granite barked. The lesser officers flinched, reflexively straightening and falling silent. "Wrath, you said this information is verified? By whom?"

"Doesn't say," the pegasus growled, slapping the missive onto the table with her wing. "It's not signed by the outpost head officer, either. That's a breach of security protocol."

"True. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. The instant-dispatch system isn't used very often. They may have forgotten in their haste. Or it might be a subordinate that sent it because the officer wasn't available and the information couldn't wait. You remember the Siren Swamps incident; in an emergency ponies panic and procedure gets swept aside." Granite's expression hardened. "This information seems... odd, but if there's even a scrap of truth to it, it's CRITICAL. These rebels are on our doorstep and we didn't even notice. We must respond."

"First things first; every access point to Canterlot needs to have its guard tripled. All entrants are subject to magic and mundane screening. I don't care if they enter the city riding on a Princess's back; they get checked twice before they even get a glimpse of the castle." Wrath announced, pointing a long feather of one wing at the captains like a finger. "I want quick-response teams ready and on a razor's edge. If this lunatic reaches Canterlot, we'll probably only have one chance to put him down before the Princesses get involved."

"That's good defense," Granite said approvingly. "Now... as for offense..."

Here General Wrath hesitated, looking down at the message. "I want more information. Something about this message... it's off. It feels wrong."

"You think the transmission system was compromised?" the earth pony asked with an eyebrow arched.

"... No. Although I really wish Firebrand were back from medical leave so that I could question him on the topic," Wrath admitted. "But there are other ways to spread disinformation. I just don't want to march an army to Ponyville without making sure this thug is actually there."

"Hey, uh, speaking of 'this thug'..." one of the captains interjected, hesitantly raising a wing into the air.

The generals glanced at him silently, allowing him to continue.

"... Is 'this thug' Havoc, the pony who joined up with a bunch of rebels to try to assassinate the Princesses? Or is he Ranma Saotome, the pony who looks exactly like him and is apparently worth a bigger bounty for some reason but only has like half as many crimes attributed to him and they're mostly arson?"

Neither of the generals responded, staring at the captain with blank expressions.

"Okay, so... lemme explain. This guy Havoc, he has literally the biggest bounty on our contract board, so a bunch of us are tracking his price, right?" the captain continued nervously.

"There's an office pool if you guys want to get in on it! I'm betting he hits 500k before he gets nabbed," another soldier volunteered needlessly.

"ANYWAY, so we're all snatching up the latest bounty posters for this guy, and this poster they released the other day suddenly features the same stallion, but with a different name," the first captain explained. "Also, this new guy, or the old guy with a new name, or whatever, has all the treasony rebellion stuff scrubbed from his list of crimes, but somehow got the same Equestrian-Enemy-Number-One-level bounty without any Equestrian-Enemy-Number-One-level charges. And it's not like the bounty office discloses the particular reason for these changes with every new posting, so... yeah. Little confused, here."

Granite and Wrath shared an inscrutable glance. Neither of them had kept up-to-date on the rebels' bounties beyond making sure that they hadn't been caught yet. They didn't know what to make of this new information, much less have any particular insight on the matter.

"Well, judging from our warning letter, this is definitely more of a treasonous Havoc pony than a miscreant Ranma pony," Granite reasoned. "Also, incidentally, I like the name Havoc much better as a name for a violent fugitive from justice. I definitely prefer approaching this from the Havoc angle."

"Names aside, I still don't trust the letter," Wrath said firmly. "I think something else is going on here, and the nebulous nature of this pony's criminal record isn't helping things. I'm going to prepare a response for the Vanilla Peak outpost to confirm their findings." She turned around fully to address the captains. "In the meantime, dispatch a scout team to Ponyville immediately. Assuming they don't find themselves flying into a storm of bedlam and carnage, they should ask around a little and try to get confirmation of Havoc's presence."

"So we're definitely going with Havoc, then?" the captain asked.

"They can ask about his name too, if they wish," Wrath drawled. "Advise the team to survey Twilight Sparkle's home for any signs of this crook, but they should not attempt to contact her directly. If she is compromised, this would put her and the team in unnecessary danger."

The pegasus captain saluted with a wing and promptly galloped out of the hall.

Another captain stepped forward as soon as the first was gone. "How should we brief Princess Celestia on this matter, General?"

"NOT AT ALL," the two generals said simultaneously. The lesser officers flinched under their hard stares.

"If this fool really is the rebel scoundrel we think he is, then Rite can't be far behind," Granite hissed. "NONE of this is to reach Princess Celestia's ears. If any of you are questioned about the increase in security, say only that we received a tip about a likely attack and that we're investigating."

The captains looked uncertain.

"I realize it is highly unusual, but we have good reasons to believe that this criminal is a unique threat to the Princesses. The more involved they become, the greater the risk," Wrath said coolly. "Now, go. You have your orders."

"Sir!" the soldiers barked, bowing their heads.

"So then it turns out that this Morning Star pony is a chick! I had no idea! But okay, whatever; girl or not, she's still an evil bandit, right? But then she starts hitting on me! Right there in the bandit lair, as I was getting ready to fight her! It was so weird! She seriously offered to pay to get Trix to leave so that she and I could just drop everything and make out. Ugh."

Ranma recounted his harrowing tale of heroics from behind a massive pile of doughnuts, all the while working diligently on making it less massive. Rarity and Fluttershy seemed somewhat unimpressed, or at least skeptical, of his tales of violence and seduction, but they seemed perfectly stunned at his ability to shovel sweets down his throat while he told them.

"Was she pretty cute?" Rainbow Dash asked, munching on a doughnut herself.

"She was... fine, I guess? I dunno. I'm not attracted to ponies," Ranma replied, pausing ever-so-briefly in eating to gulp down some milk.

"Aw, don't be like that! I'm sure you just haven't met the right pony yet!" Pinkie Pie said with a wink and a hug.

Or at least, an attempt at a hug. Ranma threw his chair back onto the floor to evade, tripping up the pink mare and letting her land on his other side. Then he kicked his chair back up and went back to eating.

"Seriously though: I'm a human. I'm just not into horses," Ranma affirmed with a slight flush.

"Well, regardless of your species preference, you do cut a rather dashing figure if I do say so myself," Rarity admitted from the other side of the table. "Surprisingly so, if you always eat like this... When was the last time you had an actual meal, Ranma darling?"

Ranma couldn't help but squirm at the form of address, memories of a crazed, rose-obsessed gymnast coming unbidden to his mind. "Erm... like, a meal this big? That would be before I had to fight the crocodile made of rocks. I was going to eat after that, but then the stupid dragon jackass found me."

In an instant his mood darkened visibly; his posture slumped in his seat, his hair covered his eyes, and even his pigtail seemed to go limp. Ranma didn't stop eating, though.

"Beating up dragons is hungry work," Rainbow Dash agreed solemnly, nodding and snatching up another doughnut. "Speaking of which, how do you make your tornadoes? Because I've seen you do that twice now, and it looks like you make them by punching fireballs, and I wanted to clear up how this works because if I try that and I'm wrong I don't think I'll get to try again."

"Ancient Chinese secret," Ranma mumbled before guzzling down more milk. "Don't try it at home."

"Ooh! You've been to Chineigh?" Pinkie asked brightly, popping up next to Rarity.

"I've been to CHINA," Ranma corrected. "It's a country in my world full of magic, warriors, and most of my life's regrets."

"Tell us more about this world of yours," Rarity said, leaning forward with her chin propped up on her forelegs. "What is your home planet like?"

"It's..." Ranma grimaced, pausing in his doughnut consumption. "It's a lot like this one, I guess. Earth has forests, and villages, and farms, and cities. We even have dragons and monsters." He leaned back in his seat and wiped the crumbs from his muzzle. "But instead of everything being run by ponies with magic, it's run by humans with technology."

"Do humans not have magic?" Rarity pressed.

"We... might? I dunno. I ran into plenty of magic on Earth, but all of it sucked," the martial artist groused. "Here in Equestria, magic... well, it still sucks for me, but all of you guys seem to do fine."

"Hey! Speaking of magic!" Rainbow suddenly stood up excitedly, grinning at Ranma. "Let's show them your mare body!"

A sweatdrop rolled down Ranma's head. "Could we not? I'd really like to just fill up and go back to work."

"Unacceptable," Rarity said firmly, her eyes gleaming despite her utterly serious expression. "We definitely need to confirm that personally."

Before Ranma could protest further, a glass of cold water was dumped over his head from behind. She yelped and jumped in her seat, and then spun around to find Pinkie Pie staring at her with wide, starry eyes.

"HOW do you keep doing that?" Ranma asked, unnerved. It wasn't quite accurate to say that the pink mare kept sneaking up on her, but rather that she kept losing track of Pinkie's movements inexplicably. She’d never seen anything like it. And technically she still hadn’t, since she couldn’t seem to catch Pinkie in the middle of whatever she did.

Nopony seemed interested in Ranma’s question, though. Before she knew it Rarity was at her side, a hoof gently grazing her wing and an expression of exaggerated horror on the unicorn’s face. Pinkie Pie was making "ooh" noises and circling her at high speed, and even Fluttershy was leaning in slightly to get a better look, utterly fascinated.

"Oh, no, no, no! This simply won't do!" Rarity gasped. "Ranma, darling, your wings are a MESS! Honestly, even Rainbow Dash keeps hers in better condition!"

"Heh. Yeah, that's true," Rainbow chuckled. Then she frowned. "Hey."

"I get that a lot," Ranma grumbled, tossing another doughnut into her mouth. "I'm not really up to speed on wing care. I don't need to be, either, since I just have to dunk my head in hot water to get rid of them."

Rarity's expression hardened. "Believe me, darling, the neglect shows. Your coat is FAR too lovely to be treated like this. We need a spa treatment, stat!"

"Pass," Ranma grunted before gulping down the last of her milk.

"Hey, don't knock it before you try it," Rainbow Dash interjected, surprising everypony else. "The hooficure treatment is a bit much, but good feather grooming goes a long way. I go every once in a while and it's really helped my air speed."

Ranma hesitated at the mention of "air speed," and her ears perked. This was more than enough of a signal for Rarity to take as complete agreement.

"It's agreed, then! I'll make an appointment for tomorrow! On me, of course!" Rarity clapped her hooves together, smiling brightly.

"Yay! Can I come? I wanna come!" Pinkie Pie said eagerly, bouncing up and down next to her.

"Of course, darling! We should all make a day out of it," the snow-white unicorn said with a grin.

Ranma didn't respond right away, staring expressionlessly at the last few doughnuts on the bed of crumbs and sugar on the table in front of her.

"I'll... think about it," she mumbled, dropping down from her chair. "Thanks a lot for the food, but I've really gotta go back to work."

"Okaaaaay!" Pinkie Pie called out while Ranma walked off. "It was super-duper nice to meet you, Calamity! I can't wait to see you again tomorrow, okay?"

Pinkie darted forward to hug Ranma goodbye. Ranma back-flipped over her lunge, and Pinkie skidded to a stop before spinning around. The two mares circled each other briefly, eyeing each other for weaknesses, and then Pinkie Pie blasted forward again.

The other ponies in the bakery watched the affair in befuddled silence. Ranma ducked, weaved, and jumped while Pinkie tried to hug her, all without saying a word. Every dodge brought her closer to the exit, until Pinkie feinted a lunge and hopped into the doorway to block the martial artist's path instead. Ranma veered away and jumped up to a window, threw it open, and then escaped that way rather than opting to go through her.

"Goodbyyyyyye!" Pinkie Pie chirped, waving to the departing pegasus.

"Pinkie... why do you keep trying to, uhm, grab her like that?" Fluttershy asked, her brow creasing. "I don't think she likes it."

"For the love of the game, Fluttershy," Pinkie said with a calculating grin, tapping the tips of her hooves together. "Love. Of. The. Game."

Twilight Sparkle awoke with a kick and a snort.

Her eyes fluttered open, and her wings twitched and resettled. She was in her bed, at home, in her freshly-rebuilt library. Her sheets were underneath her, as if she simply jumped into bed and instantly fell asleep.

"... Spike?!" she shouted, rubbing her bleary eyes. "Spike! Are you here?!"

After a few seconds, the bedroom door creaked open. Spike leaned his head in, regarding Twilight with a concerned expression.

"Twi? You okay? As soon as we got home you stumbled into your bedroom and collapsed," Spike said. "Was it that hard for you to sleep on the train? I don't remember you having trouble with that before."

Twilight didn't answer, her eyes narrowing. Then she shook her head violently, further fraying her bed mane.

"Where's Ranma?" the purple Princess asked, standing up. "I've lost enough time already. We have a lot of Friendship to get to."

"He's staying with Applejack, remember? Since most of the stuff we gave Trixie was hers, he's working it off."

Twilight frowned. "Yes, right... I didn't think about it before, but that's... less than ideal. It's going to be harder to spend time with him in-between farm chores. Hmmm..." She rubbed a hoof against her chin. "Maybe once he's done enough to pay her back, he could stay with us instea-"

Twilight stopped mid-sentence, her cheeks burning. Suddenly she envisioned herself curled up in her bed, spooning with the pigtailed stallion and snuggling into his chest.

Spike waited several seconds into the sudden silence, his eyebrow slowly rising. "Uh... yeah? You want him to stay here?"

Twilight recoiled, sputtering incoherently and looking scandalized.

"I d-didn't mean it like that!" she protested in a panic. "Just here in the library! N-Not here in m-my room! That would be weird! We barely qualify as friends yet! I'm not ready!"

"... What?" Spike asked, tilting his head to the side. "Twi, do you need to rest some more? You look like you're hyperventilating."

The alicorn sat down and slapped her hooves lightly against her cheeks repeatedly. "I'm... fine. Yes. This is okay. Everything is... good!" She offered Spike a ridiculously forced smile. "I need to talk to Ranma, though. For friendly, completely platonic reasons involving no physical contact."

"Oh... kay..." Spike moved out of the doorway so Twilight could trot through. "Are you sure? Because it's his first day in actual pony civilization and you seem a little out of it. I think you could wait a day if you're feeling rattled."

Twilight's stride became ever more determined as she approached the front door. "No, I need to start now." She pulled open the front door with her telekinesis. "The sooner we can get Ranma to Princess Celestia, the better. Putting aside his own timetable, the longer we keep him here the greater the chance of some disaster happening due to his presence. It would be a big problem if the Royal Guard found him, certainly, so we should hurry."

A thumping noise came from above, on the roof. Twilight paused, and then glanced up. She couldn't see anything unusual, but she could faintly make out the sound of pegasus wings.

Had a pony been resting on her roof? That seemed odd, but wasn't a problem. She hoped she hadn't startled whoever it was.

"Anyway, it's almost evening already. You can get started on dinner, but I don't know how long this will take. I'll see you later, Spike!"

"See ya, Twi!"

"Yes, that's what I said! Princess Sparkle has DEFINITELY been compromised! She's in on the plan! They're coming for Celestia!"

General Wrath and General Granite stared at the magical projection, their jaws agape. A unicorn soldier stood in front of them, her eyes squeezed shut in concentration and her horn pulsing to maintain the magical link. Below her was a hazy magical projection of a panicked-looking pegasus.

"I heard her say herself that she needed to get Ranma to Princess Celestia as soon as possible, and that it would be a problem for her if we found out about it! We have to stop them!"

"That... sounds pretty bad," Granite said grimly. "Did you confirm the target's presence?"

Another pegasus shifted into the image focus, briefly saluting with a wing. "Sir! We did indeed! First we contacted a citizen who was able to confirm the presence of the rebel Havoc! She described him perfectly to us with minimal prompting, and was able to provide further information as to his current location, known associates, recent activity, and favorite type of doughnut, Sir!"

Wrath raised an eyebrow. "So is this pony named Havoc or is he named Ranma?"

"Ah... actually, she called him Calamity, for some reason."

"You're kidding me. Another alias?!"

"Yes, well... after that, we met a Lunar Guard Sergeant at our rendezvous point!" the pegasus exclaimed. "He was one of the members of a reconnaissance task force, and the rebel ambushed them! Wiped out the entire squad! He said they never stood a chance!"

"Ambushed the Lunar Guard? Really?" Wrath asked, frowning. The batponies were well-known as the best stealth operatives in the kingdom.

"That's what he told us, General, and he had the bone fractures to prove it! He left before giving additional details - like, say, the target's name - but between our findings, whoever we're looking for is definitely here!" A pause. "Also, this may come across as an odd request, but if we're to launch an assault operation into Ponyville I would greatly prefer it to happen before or after 4 to 7 PM tomorrow afternoon, as that's when our civilian contact is throwing me and Sky Ranger a welcome party, apparently."

"That won't be a problem," Wrath said darkly. "We'll be moving out immediately. Thank you for your report. Remain at the rendezvous point until reinforcements arrive."

The pegasi on the other end of the projection saluted again with their wings, and then the image dissipated.

"... Twilight Sparkle. Working with the rebels. I can't believe it," Granite breathed. "Firebrand was right."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don't know what happened. She could be under a spell or something, or perhaps she's being tricked," Wrath pointed out. "If she really has gone rogue, then we'll have the opportunity to stop her in her tracks as well... but I dearly hope that's not the case."

Granite sighed, and his ears pinned back. "If she has, Princess Celestia will be devastated. BOTH of the Princesses. ALL of them! Egads, Princess Cadance is her blasted sister-in-law, too!"

"By the sun, this is a disaster," Wrath groaned. "Even if we achieve a crushing victory, we could STILL end up with the royal order pruned. I keep telling the assembly, this is why we need nepotism laws!"

"Not the time, Wrath. We have planning to do," Granite set his jaw. "Lightly populated rural area, single target, weather team has medium cloud cover set. Low chance of enemy reinforcements, but multiple exfiltration vectors. We can't get cocky because this is one pony, unless we want to join Firebrand in the Fillypinnes on recovery leave."

"Encirclement followed by magic stunner web," Wrath shrugged. "I'll have the aerial battalion form an interception ring in case he tries to sprout wings and fly away. If Princess Sparkle stands with him, we can take her down in the same move. Strong, safe, fast."

Then a cough interrupted their strategizing.

"So... you're trying to capture Ranma Saotome-slash-Havoc with magic?" asked the unicorn who had been serving as their communications link. "You probably don't want to do that."

"And why not?" Granite asked, arching an eyebrow. "Is there something else you all know about this ruffian that we don't? Does he have an anti-magic field?"

"Well... not precisely, but..." the unicorn trailed off for a moment. ”… The new bounty poster specifically says 'magic cannot be reliably used against him' in advising the capture."

"What? Why?" Wrath demanded.

The mage shrugged. "It doesn't say. I've read a few news articles on this guy, and he's supposed to have a bunch of nutty powers, but nothing explains exactly what happens to him if you use magic. But it seemed pretty important if you're counting on a spell to stun him."

"This stallion supposedly fought Princess Luna to a standstill through raw speed and strength alone, and we're supposed to take him down without magic?" Wrath asked incredulously.

"If it's a matter of strength and speed, then we have sufficient force," Granite retorted. "Such a battle won't be as... clean, of course. We may not be able to take him alive. But victory is still all but certain." He grimaced. "We'll keep the mages in the rear ranks as back-up. Hopefully their spells will have SOME effect if Havoc manages to break the front line."

Then he looked up at Wrath. "I'll take to the field as well. You should stay here."

She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because there's still a possibility this is a ruse to draw soldiers out of Canterlot and expose the Princesses. One of us should stay. You have the better nose for spies, while I have a better record for avoiding widespread collateral damage. This IS an Equestrian village we're talking about, not some lonely wizard tower in the middle of nowhere."

Wrath pouted. "Tch. You're always using that excuse to leave me behind!"

"Well, you're always setting roofs on fire, so it keeps coming up," Granite drawled. "Shore up our defenses and remain vigilant, Wrath. Whether we crush this lackey or not, we haven't reached the final hour yet. Blood Rite is out there, and he MUST be stopped."

"Of course, General Granite." The pegasus General stood up straighter and saluted her peer. "Blessings of the sun be upon you."

Finding Ranma had taken longer than Twilight expected.

Not because he was hiding or in some place where he wasn't supposed to be, but simply because he was working so far from the farmhouse. Twilight had initially scouted the orchard from above, only to fail to find the cursed stallion. Puzzled, she had questioned Applejack, and learned that Ranma had already had an altercation in Ponyville and a big lunch with the other Elements of Harmony. In consideration of the former, and perhaps also the latter - Applejack didn't appreciate procrastination when it came to farm chores - his second job after moving hay bales was chopping firewood at a faraway site at the edge of the orchard. The simple logic being that if Ranma was going to get into fights, the best place to do it was far away from the farm and surrounded by the least valuable resources the Apple family possessed. Twilight was honestly relieved Applejack hadn't ordered him to sleep out there, too.

Twilight spotted the martial artist in a clearing surrounded by piles of chopped and sawed wood logs. Some of it was chopped into quarters for firewood, while the rest was in bisected logs awaiting being chopped into firewood. Ranma was standing before a large tree trunk that had been cut close to the ground, facilitating the conversion from the latter into the former.

A wood axe was lodged firmly in a second, smaller tree trunk off to the side, and clearly hadn't been budged from the spot in months. Ranma certainly hadn't contemplated using it. He stood a log onto the chopping block and then stared at it briefly, his expression the very image of steely concentration. Then he let out a shout and struck the log. It broke apart into quarters, and each piece bounced away over the tree trunk and rolled into the surrounding piles of ready firewood.

"Hey, Sparks."

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat, and she landed next to the firewood pile. "Ranma! Hi! Keeping busy, I see! Applejack isn't working you too hard?"

"Nah." Ranma put another log into place, stared at it, and then slammed a hoof into the top. It split apart as before, the pieces bouncing away to join the others. Then his eyes darted over to Twilight. "Did you want something?"

"I just wanted to talk!" Twilight said in what she hoped was a cheery, carefree tone. "We have so much to discuss, but you spent most of the train ride alone!"

Ranma frowned, rubbing a hoof against his neck. "This is about the MacGuffin Stone, isn't it?"

Twilight's smile, already looking rather forced and awkward, dimmed somewhat. "Well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't important. But that's not ALL I want to talk about..."

Ranma turned away for a moment, and then turned back and tossed something. It landed on the ground in front of Twilight, and she recoiled in surprise and just a little bit of genuine fright. After all, the last time this artifact had been flung at her it had instantly sealed her defeat in a critical battle.

The MacGuffin Stone gleamed up at her. Uninhabited, the gemstone wasn't obviously different from any other jewel. Twilight couldn't even sense much ambient magic around it. Such an unassuming thing, and yet...

The alicorn looked up at Ranma in shock, the question written all over her face.

"I'm not giving that to you or anything, but if you want to look it over and poke at it a little, go right ahead." Ranma placed another log on the stump. "Trix swiped some notes from Rite that let her figure out how to capture people inside and shoot them back out. She didn't manage to do much more than that, though. I kind of got the sense that she's scared of really powerful magic items."

"That... would make sense," Twilight said absently, walking up to the artifact. She was expecting Ranma to be more protective of the Stone, and now her mind was awhirl with possibilities. "Can... Can I take this back to my lab at home?"

"No," Ranma said, splitting the next log. Twilight's ears pinned back in disappointment, but the martial artist was adamant. "Sorry Sparks, but I'm not letting that thing out of my sight again. I just know that the moment I do, Rite is going to swoop in and blast whoever I gave it to." He turned to get another log. "I don't want that to happen to you because he could hurt you. I don't want that to happen to Princess Celestasia because then Rite will have the MacGuffin and I'll have to steal it back. Again."

Twilight frowned. "It's Princess Celestia."

"Yeah. Her." Ranma split the next log.

Twilight levitated the MacGuffin Stone next to her, but her focus remained on the pigtailed stallion. "Do you... have a problem with Celestia? Did she do something to offend you when you met her outside Coltson?"

Ranma paused, holding the next log between his hooves. The martial artist grimaced. "Not back then, no."

"Then what's your problem with her?" Twilight pressed. "Princess Celestia has watched over and protected Equestria for millennia. But more than just being our leader, she is my teacher. I consider her family. That doesn't mean you have to like her, obviously, but I will defend her."

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "You don't really think she moves the sun, do you?"

"What? Why wouldn't I?" Twilight asked, somewhat stunned. "How else would it move?"

Ranma sighed as he dropped the log in place. "Okay, look; maybe you're right. I don't know this Princess or what she has to go through to keep the kingdom together. Maybe she really can't do anything about the corrupt mayors and the bandit gangs. Maybe all this business about the bounties was a genuine mistake and she made the best decision with what she knew. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, space around this wacky planet doesn't work like it does on Earth, like the clouds, and she really does magically... lift the sun or whatever. All of that could be true."

His hoof slammed into the firewood log like a thunderbolt, and Twilight flinched in surprise. Rather than being split into quarters, this time the log was reduced to splinters and irregular wood chunks all around the chopping block.

Ranma's eyes burned as he stared hard at Twilight. "BUT... she still sent that jackass dragon after me to get the MacGuffin, which led to Kamikazan burning down Trixie's wagon. So that would be what she did to offend me."

"She... you... WHAT?!" Twilight almost stumbled in shock. "She sent Kamikazan? That's ridiculous! What even makes you think that?!"

"Because he told me." Ranma looked down at the stump with mild regret for having destroyed good firewood, and then placed another log. "Before he torched the wagon and forced me to kick his ass, Kamikazan said that he needed the MacGuffin Stone because Celestia wanted it."

"Th-That... That doesn't mean she sent him after you!" Twilight protested. "He might have figured out that she wanted the MacGuffin and set out to get it on his own!"

"Yeah, I guess..." Ranma paused. "But Kamikazan knew that I had the Stone. He never touched the thing before, so it's not like he used the MacGuffin Sense to find me. Who else would have told him?"

"How do you know he's never touched it before?" Twilight demanded.

"Because I was wearing the thing out in the open the whole time while he was demanding I tell him where it was."

Twilight's cheeks puffed up angrily, but she didn't have an immediate response to that. Her wings ruffled and the MacGuffin Stone spun around in the air, as if Twilight was preparing to fling it away in a huff.

"Well... maybe he was lying! Why should we trust that self-absorbed marauder to give away his real intentions?!"

Ranma paused to think again. "I dunno, he seemed pretty honest to me. Dumb, evil, and vicious too, but still honest." He chopped the next wooden log. "Anyway, I'm not telling you that your Princess is some kind of evil mastermind trying to make my life harder or something. But from what I've heard and seen, she's not the kind of pony I trust with a world-destroying magic gem."

Ranma fell silent and went back to chopping wood. Twilight remained equally silent, quietly fuming and staring at the MacGuffin Stone.

It can't be true. Kamikazan was lying. Or Ranma made a mistake. Or there's a piece of information missing! Princess Celestia would never send a malevolent clod like that on such an important mission! Especially when innocent ponies could get hurt! She'd send me, first!

Twilight snorted and nodded firmly to herself. This was definitely a misunderstanding and one more issue that would need to be cleared between Ranma and the throne. Celestia probably didn't even know the dragon existed.

Nonetheless, knowing what she did about the situation, it was very hard to fault Ranma for his stubbornness. He may have even had a point about possession of the artifact, ultimately. Twilight couldn't say with complete honesty and confidence that the MacGuffin Stone was safer with Celestia than it was with Ranma. But could she convince Princess Celestia of that?

The young Princess groaned and rubbed her head with a hoof. She was under no illusions that this reconciliation was going to be easy, but this was an entirely new wrinkle.

"Okay, let's forget about the MacGuffin Stone for now," Twilight said, floating the artifact back to Ranma. "It's yours. I accept that. In time, I hope you can trust us enough to protect and research it so that we can try to fix what's happened to you, but I won't make promises that I can't keep."

Ranma paused in his work, slightly overwhelmed as he took the MacGuffin Stone back between his hooves.

Twilight brushed away the firewood atop the stump and sat down in front of the stallion, almost nose-to-nose. "I need to know, though: if I take you to Canterlot and you stand before Princess Celestia, can you give an honest accounting of what you've done? Can you ask for forgiveness rather than giving in to resentment and sparking a conflict?"

Ranma's ears pinned back and he averted eye contact uncomfortably. "Oh, c'mon! I didn't do anything wrong!" he complained, storing the MacGuffin away in that inexplicable way of his.

"Really? Nothing at all?" Twilight pressed, leaning over to look him in the eyes again.

"Er... well... not ON PURPOSE..."

Twilight shook her head. "Ranma, ponies make mistakes. Sometimes other ponies suffer for them. If you can stand before Princess Celestia and explain yourself, I believe you'll be forgiven and your bounty neutralized." She frowned slightly. "I'm sure Princess Celestia isn't going to be happy that you're keeping the MacGuffin Stone. I honestly don't know how we're going to resolve something like that. But if you come with me to Canterlot, then I'm sure we can clear your name." She held out a hoof toward the martial artist. "Do you trust me?"

Ranma stared her hoof, and then sighed and placed his own against it. "Yeah. I guess I do. Thanks, Sparks."

"You're welcome, Ranma. Now let's go back to the farm; I'm sure you've chopped enough firewood for today." She smiled brightly, and Ranma couldn't help but smile back.

"You know Sparks, you're pretty cool for a Princess," he said with a chuckle, kicking some stray wood pieces toward the main pile.

Twilight blinked repeatedly. She wasn't used to that particular compliment. "I'm 'cool?' R-Really?" Her brow furrowed. "And I'm cool despite being a Princess, not because of it? Is that what you're implying?"

"Yeah. I can't stand royalty," Ranma confessed, "but you're different." He started heading toward the farmstead, and Twilight rushed to catch up and match his walking distance.

"Can you elaborate on that?" Twilight asked, her expression utterly serious. "How am I different? And if, in fact, these differences reflect positively upon me, are you sure the other Princesses lack these traits and aren't a product of your uniquely complicated interactions with them?"

Ranma just laughed, and Twilight pouted.

"But I'm being serious..." she grumbled.

"I know. It's really cute," the martial artist replied, chuckling.

Twilight flushed deeply and fell into silence while they walked through the orchard. Her thoughts were awhirl, one topic after another flitting through her mind. There was still so much she wanted to know about Ranma: what his real species was like, what his world was like, what his travels around Equestria was like. She wanted to know how he learned to fight and what type of metaphysical mechanism created the cyclones he used to rid himself of uppity dragons. She wanted to know about what happened on that day she had been rescued from Blood Rite, and whether Ranma had any special insight to the sorcerer’s plans that may have eluded Equestrian agents.

All this and more bubbled just below the surface, but once again Twilight Sparkle couldn't decide on the right words to bring about a new topic. She found her eyes drawn to the sunset instead, and the golden light washing through the leaves and branches of the orchard.

"Man, it's going to be awful getting to sleep tonight," Ranma complained out of nowhere. "Jack wants me up super early, and I haven't slept alone in a long time."

And so it was that Twilight decided what she wanted to talk about. "SPEAKING OF WHICH."

Ranma seemed startled by the sudden interjection, and Twilight's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously.

"Would you care to explain why you slept in my bunk last night?" Twilight asked, her voice hovering between righteous judgment and anxious curiosity.

Ranma blinked. "Er... why? I dunno." His ears flattened against his head. "I mean, was that weird? I'm sorry. Trix never seemed to care, so I didn't even think about it."

Twilight kept staring at him. "You slept with Trixie?"

"Yeah."

"In the strictly technical sense of sharing a bedspread?"

"Yeah."

"So when you climbed into my bunk without permission or warning you had no other intentions and it never occurred to you that I might object?"

"Er... y-yeah..."

Twilight held eye contact with Ranma for several seconds while he grimaced under her scrutiny. Then her expression relaxed and she turned away.

"I see. Well, I'm glad that it was simply a strange, harmless presumption on your part. I was... somewhat anxious about it," Twilight admitted.

Ranma froze in place, and his ears twitched.

"Although I don't object to platonic cuddling in and of itself, there are obviously certain norms in conduct between mares and stallions that you should be aware of, even if you've only been a pony for a matter of months now." Twilight continued on ahead while she lectured, not noticing that the martial artist had stopped. "In general, you have to learn to respect other ponies' personal space, especially in a setting as intimate as sleeEEEEP!!"

Twilight shrieked in surprised when Ranma slipped under her belly between her front and rear legs and then stood up to carry her on his back at high speed. She flailed in panic, but the shock and sudden acceleration stopped her from doing much else.

"THIS!! This is what I'm talking about! Stop doing things like this!" Twilight shouted.

"Above! We're under attack!" Ranma retorted.

A steel wire net fell over the clearing between the trees that they had abandoned, stretching nearly twenty feet across the ground and weighted at the edges with small iron blocks. Twilight gasped and then glanced upward, only barely catching a glint of polished armor before it was obscured by the branches of apple trees.

"Th-That... That was a pegasus soldier! The Royal Guard is here already?!"

Ranma started to slow his gallop through the orchard. "Royal Guard? So that was your military? Not some bounty hunter? Aw, crud," he groaned. "I can't head back to the farm with soldiers on my tail! DAMN IT, it's almost dinner time, too! This sucks!"

Twilight flapped her wings to move off of Ranma's back, and then hovered higher to see if she could spot the pursuers. "Well, I was really hoping I could get you a pardon before this happened, but I suppose I can't say Trixie didn't warn me." She pursed her lips while she considered her options. "Okay, let me try to talk them down. I think I can get them to send a message to Princess Celestia rather than pressing the attack. Ugh... I really should have had Spike send something earlier. I just thought we had more time!"

"Should I make a break for it while you're distracting them?" Ranma asked, his eyes fixed on something off to the side.

"No! Just... Just stay with me and please, PLEASE don't attack anypony!" Twilight couldn't spot any pegasi above them, and she lowered herself back to the ground. "We have to find the unit officer! The pony in charge will be able to tell the others to stand down!"

"It's probably that guy up ahead."

Twilight whipped around to see who Ranma was referring to, but she couldn't see anypony ahead of them. "Who? There's nopony there."

"You don't feel that?" Ranma asked, a shudder rolling down his spine. "It's like the dirt is burning up under my feet. I've never felt anything like it."

Twilight didn't feel a thing from the ground, and wanted to question him further, but then she heard it: the rattle of armor links, coming from the same direction Ranma was watching.

Walking through the orchard, a stallion slowly walked into view. Larger than Big Macintosh, with a fur coat of mottled gray and mane of charcoal black, the pony was a relatively imposing figure on his own without taking into account any armament. He wore a massive suit of elaborate plate mail that covered everything but his head and tail. The suit was covered in medals, seals, and sashes with all manner of symbols and iconography, such that Ranma couldn't tell which, if any, of them were supposed to be his cutie mark. The stallion didn't seem to be armed, but he exuded a sense of grave, silent menace that had the martial artist on edge.

"G-General Granite!" Twilight stuttered as he approached. "I need to speak with you! This is a misunderstanding! Ranma Saotome isn't our enemy! Please, call off the soldiers!"

General Granite stopped. His gaze shifted from Twilight to Ranma, sizing up the pigtailed stallion. "Not our enemy? I think the battered ponies lying in his wake would disagree. But I'm quite interested in why you don't, Princess."

"Well, that's... kind of a long and complicated story!" Twilight hedged. "But yes, we can talk this over! There's no need for violence, please!"

"Not if you surrender, there isn't," Granite said, much to the mare's confusion. "Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rebel thug Ranma Saotome, more popularly known as 'Havoc,' I have been sent to arrest both of you. Lay down at once and submit so we may restrain you."

Twilight's eyes bugged out. "Arrest both of us?! Arrest ME?! But why?!"

"That will be one of many subjects we'll discuss after I've secured your surrender and begun your interrogation, Princess."

Ranma scowled. "Yeah? You and what army?"

A loud, resonant whine filled the air as soon as the words left Ranma's mouth. Several magic circles appeared at seemingly random points in the orchard around them, forming intricate patterns of gold, pink, and purple that expanded and then spun over the ground.

Armored ponies surrounding a single robed unicorn flashed into place within the circles, appearing in clusters of eight to ten equines. Dozens of them appeared in seconds and then spread out, taking up pre-planned formations while the mages backed up to offer fire support.

The furious beat of wings came from above as pegasi swooped down from the clouds where they had been awaiting deployment. Some of the winged troopers carried crossbows attached to a foreleg or a spear gripped in their jaws, while others carried nets, chains, or shackles hanging from loops at their flanks. It wasn't possible to spot all of the descending soldiers given the tree cover, but there were enough to form a containment ring in the sky and cut off any aerial line of escape.

Unnoticed by most, several dark shapes emerged from behind bushes or dropped from the thick webs of branches in the trees above to back up the ground formation. The batponies brandished hoofblades and throwing knives, prowling a third perimeter behind their less stealthy cousins. Some of the other soldiers seemed surprised to see them, shifting their formation so that they could keep an eye on the Lunar Guard soldiers as well as their target.

"... Okay, that's a decent army," Ranma admitted as a sweatdrop rolled down his head.

"This is the end of your reign of terror across our lands, Havoc, and the last gasp of Blood Rite's pathetic little rebellion," Granite growled. "In the name of Equestria and Princess Celestia! Seize the traitors!"