//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: The Guard's House // by M48 Patton //------------------------------// “What about Friday?” “Friday works fine.” Sweet Cake answered. “Uh Dad, do you know where my tie is?” The old pegasus swallowed another bite of his food and chewed thoughtfully. “Did you leave it in the kitchen?” Several steps later, the answer was shouted from the kitchen. “Yeah, found it!” Sweet Cake chuckled. Despite all the insane events recently, some things never changed. A white unicorn with a brown mane walked into his father's study while adjusting his tie with his magic. Satisfied, he glanced at his father and struck a pose. “How do I look?” He asked with a nervous smile. “You look fine Donuts.” Sweet Cake laughed. “She's already gone out with you twice, what are you so nervous about?” Donuts shuffled his hooves bashfully. “It's just, well, she's so special, you know?” “I know, son, I know.” Sweet Cake answered wistfully. “There's no other feeling like what you feel now. I know exactly what's running through your mind.” Donuts smiled ruefully. “Yeah, I better go. She said she'd meet me by the jewelry store on Fifth.” Sweet Cake raised an eyebrow. “The jewelry store?” “Yeah, I—” Donuts' pupils shrunk to pinpricks. “ByeDadloveyou!” The door slammed behind the unicorn, rattling a few pictures in their frames. Sweet Cake just chuckled before taking another bite of his food. He savored the taste before swallowing, noticing how quiet the house had suddenly gotten. A clock ticking on the wall, the occasional noise of the neighborhood, his labored breathing. Sweet Cake glanced around the room until his eyes fell upon his wedding photo, a small smile coming to his face. He tried to break off a piece of the cake, but found his hoof wouldn't move. He wasn't bothered by this, choosing to keep looking at the picture instead. Slowly, his eyelids began to droop and his vision grew darker by the moment. Still smiling, he closed his eyes, only slightly disturbed by the sound of a ringing bell that seemed to be getting louder. Sweet Cake shifted uncomfortably before his eyes slowly opened. The alarm clock on his nightstand bounce on its legs, its shrill ring announcing the time. There was a series of cracks as he moved, his body refusing to obey his mind for a second until his joints finally relented and popped loose. With a creak that could have come from either the bed or Sweet Cake himself, he rolled over and tapped a hoof on the top of the clock to silence it. Groaning, the pegasus continued his roll until he fell out of bed, landing on three hooves before gently setting his left rear leg on the ground. Step by step, he made his way over to the bathroom and turned the sink faucet on in order to splash cold water on his face. Task accomplished, Sweet Cake walked to the closet and began to dress. There were very few items in the closet that could qualify as clothing in his closet, most of the closet's space was taken up by accessories to help him around the house. A single saddlebag hung from his right side over where his wing once extended from his body, a hook attached to the tip of his left wing, and a brace on his bad leg. Last but not least, he took out a red tie and fastened it around his neck. Ready for the day, he limped downstairs to the kitchen. Breakfast was coffee and day old hay waffles soaked with syrup while reading an old book. He ate slowly and deliberately, occasionally looking at the plate across from him in front of an empty seat. Sweet Cake sighed sadly. Habits were hard to break, and after twenty-eight years of setting the breakfast table for two, it was impossible to not bring out a second plate each morning. Breakfast finished, he washed the dishes and placed them in the dish rack to dry. Limping to the door, he glanced at the clock. A thump against the door right as the clock hit five fifteen announced the arrival of the morning paper. Opening the door, he stepped out onto his porch and picked up the newspaper and began to glance through it when he suddenly stopped. Something was amiss, something was—Oh. A diminutive unicorn stallion looked at him from the sidewalk with wide, frightened eyes. Sweet Cake was pretty used to that reaction from the average pony given that his appearance was akin to that of some sort of a villain from a fairy tale. Many a young foal had run away screaming at the sight of the “evil pirate pony.” “Good morning sir.” Sweet Cake greeted him. Despite the gravel in his voice, years of being a guard had honed an edge of civility and control in his tone that tended to cause other ponies to react whenever he spoke to them. “G-good morning!” He stuttered in surprise. “Can you I help you in any way?” The stallion glanced at a copy of The Canterlot News he was holding. “C-can- y-you tell m-me where Mr.-Mr.-Mr. Swee-Swee—” He began to stutter when Sweet Cake cut him off. “Mr. Sweet Cake?” The stallion nodded. Sweet Cake mustered up a small, practiced smile he found to be the least intimidating and responded as softly as possible. “How can I help sir?” The unicorn's eyes nearly popped out of his head before he began slowly backing up. “N-nothing, nothing at all, I made a mistake.” He stammered before turning around and sprinting up the street. Sweet Cake frowned at the fleeing unicorn, but resolved to try and be more. . . approachable. He didn't blame the other ponies, even Sweet Cake would have been suspicious if a pony as damaged as he was to ever approach him. There was nothing to be done about it apart from facing the day as it came, so the aging pegasus closed the door behind him and stepped down off the porch. “Good morning Mistah Cake!” A shrill voice called out to him from the house across the street. “Good morning Missus Pepper.” Sweet Cake answered. “ 'Ow are ya tahday?” A plump unicorn mare with ivory fur and a blue mane and tail done up in a bun asked politely as she water her roses out front. Sweet Cake smiled, although the damage to his face caused it to appear more like a grimace. “Just fine, and yourself?” “I'm doin' raght as rain.” The mare looked down the street where the timid stallion had run off. “What in Celestia's name was t'at all about?” “Nothing, probably just a salespony or something.” Sweet Cake brushed it off. “Oh?” Pepper raised an eyebrow. “An' last nigh'? Or yest'erday mornin'? Were those salesponies as well?” Sweet Cake frowned at the unicorn, an expression that would have seemed terrifying to a pony that did not know him personally. Pepper, having been his neighbor for nearly twenty years, just frowned right back. “Must I be subject to you constant nagging?” Sweet Cake asked dramatically. “Shall my days from here on be filled with nothing but your unending search for gossip?” Pepper winked at him. “There's not much ta gossip abou' ya, 'cept your flanks!” Sweet Cake chuckled. “Pepper, you are a terrible neighbor.” “Oh?” The unicorn scoffed. “I suppose, bein' the terrible neighbor I am, that I might be bringin' over some o' my cranberry pies this evenin'? Or woul' that be considered bein' too much of a 'terrible' neighbor?” “No, no.” Sweet Cake responded hurriedly. “That sounds just about right to me.” Pepper laughed. “I'll be over at seven, then.” Sweet Cake wished her a pleasant day before continuing down the street, and even though the limp slowed his walk, it was not enough to delay him very long. Passing several more houses, many of the occupants calling out a friendly greeting as he did, the pegasus reached the main road and made his way in the general direction of the royal castle. A half hour later, Sweet Cake entered the front door of a small diner that was serving breakfast at the time. “Mornin' Sergeant.” A gruff earth mare called from behind the counter, her apron colored by various stains both old and new. “Morning Sunny.” Sweet Cake answered. “The usual if you please.” “Yeah, yeah.” Sunny grumbled. “Be wit' you in just a minute.” The stallion turned to look for an open table when an all too familiar, but all too chilling voice spoke up from behind him. “By Celestia's mark, the legend still draws breath.” Although there appeared to be no malice hidden in the tone of the voice, it caused Sweet Cake's fur to stand up on end. There was only one pony that could cause such an effect, an old friend from an all but forgotten time in his life. Sweet Cake turned around to see a charcoal black unicorn with a grey mane and a scraggly grey beard looking at him from a few tables down. His smile was twisted into a sneer and his eyes seemed to posses a red tinged glow whenever he leaned into the shadows. Despite all the characteristics of an average fairytale antagonist, Sweet Cake knew from personal experience not to judge a creature by its appearance. “Vil?” He asked uncertainly. The unicorn's sneer morphed into a slightly less intimidating form of a smile as recognition dawned on Sweet Cake's face. “Good to see you Sergeant.” The unicorn said, surveying the pegasus with a critical eye. “Well, what's left of you.” “Vil, you ol' colt of a diamond dog!” Sweet Cake limped over to the stallion, a smile on his face. “What are you doing in Canterlot?” “Parole officer wanted a meeting in the city this time.” 'Vil' explained. “We agreed to meet up here.” Sweet Cake nodded and was about to sit down when Sunny walked up beside him. “Sergeant, you know this bloke?” She asked skeptically. The pegasus nodded. “Yeah, he, um, he—” “The good sergeant here participated in a raid on my hideout some time ago. I gave him some information on the whereabouts of my apprentice and he got my sentence commuted.” 'Vil' hurriedly jumped in. Sunny didn't look very happy, but didn't say anything more and returned to the counter. Sweet Cake took a glance around an saw that many of the patrons of the cafe were openly staring at the duo with dumbfounded curiosity while others furtively snuck nervous glances whenever they thought that they would not be noticed. “Sit down, Sergeant.” 'Vil' gestured to his table. “If you don't mind me saying, you look terrible.” Sweet Cake chuckled. “And you haven't changed one bit.” 'Vil' laughed with his friend. “Maybe not on the outside, but I'm a brand new pony on the inside.” “Oh?” Sweet Cake raised an eyebrow. “When we last met, you admitted that you were still, um, breaking the law.” “Oh I'm still doing that!” 'Vil' admitted with a smile. “I don't think I'll ever be able to stop my hobbies. But I swear to you, Sweet Cake, that from now until the day I die, I will be a force for harmony.” “Thanks Sunny.” Sweet Cake glanced at the waitress as she set a coffee cup down in front of him before turning his attention back to his friend. “Harmony? You swore that harmony was nothing more than a lie invented by Celestia to cement her reign as a dictator over a blind population. What in Equestria could have caused you to change your mind about—” The bell above the door to the diner jingled merrily, announcing the arrival of a new customer. By the way 'Vil's face lit up, Sweet Cake could instantly tell that the unicorn had fallen in the most deadly trap in all of Equestria: Love. Sweet Cake instantly craned his necked around to look at the door and his jaw dropped. An elderly unicorn mare with a pure white coat, a golden mane and tail, and a perpetual scowl on her muzzle. The pegasus looked back to his infatuated friend. “Vil'? Isn't she your parole officer?” The black unicorn had dropped any pretense of professionalism and was staring at the mare with a rather ridiculous expression adorning his muzzle. “'Vil?” Sweet Cake asked again as he waved a hoof in front of his friend's heart shaped eyes. “Huh, what?” 'Vil started as he broke out of his haze. “She's your parole—” The pegasus began when the mare spotted the duo sitting in the booth. “INCARNATE!” The mare stomped up to the table. “I told you I needed to meet you in a secure location!” 'Vil smiled up at the snarling mare. “I though I would treat you to breakfast.” “Idiot!” The mare snapped. “I need to speak with you privately! And just who is this vagrant?” Sweet Cake raised an eyebrow while using his wing to lift his coffee cup to his mouth, but he didn't bother with a retort. At his age, insults of every type were just wasted air by ignorant creatures. “This is Sergeant Sweet Cake!” 'Vil exclaimed, still smiling with his goofy grin. “Remember the pony that broke my horn and then helped catch my apprentice?” “How is the horn, by the way?” Sweet Cake asked. “Still bothering you?” “Only when it rains.” “Sergeant?” The mare asked, looking at him more carefully. “By Celestia, you've gone to Tartarus.” “Nice to see you too, 'Lighthouse' Lily.” Sweet Cake grunted. The mare lit her horn with a snarl. “Yeah, yeah, gang's all here. Beat it will you?” Lily's horn flashed and Sweet Cake found himself seated two booths away from his original location. He looked around and found that Lily had failed to teleport his coffee cup with him. “Oi!” Sunny barked from behind the counter. “What's goin' on 'ere!” “What's wrong Sunny?” A burly construction pony yelled from across the diner. “Some mare's harassing the Sergeant!” Sunny exclaimed in a loud voice. In an instant, half of the diner's partons were on there hooves with cries of anger and indignation, their intense gaze focused on the mare in question. Lily's horn glowed in response with a murderous light and she glared back at the ponies with contempt. Sweet Cake puckered his lips and emitted a shrill whistle which attracted the attention of all in the diner. Casually, he took out his bit purse and began counting out coins. “Sunny, can I get another cup of coffee, and two breakfast specials for my friends in the booth over there.” The pegasus said while gesturing to the two unicorns. “You sure, love?” Sunny asked with a skeptical frown. “Yup, and throw a bottle of Zap Apple Cider in for the mare, she looks like she could use a drink.” The standing ponies looked back to Sunny, waiting for her response. “Well, any friends o' yours is good enough for me.” She shrugged. The bubble broke and conversation in the diner began to return as usual. Sunny walked over with Sweet Cake's breakfast and a fresh cup of steaming coffee and set it down in front of him. “For goodness sake, Sergeant!” She complained. “Seems like every other day you start a fight in my joint!” “Sunny, you know perfectly well I haven't started a fight in here for two years.” Sweet Cake shot back. “A year an' a half.” Sunny called back over her shoulder. “I still blame you for Hearthswarming.” Sweet Cake smiled as he eagerly dug into his food. To the casual observer, he was just another pony eating his breakfast. However, if one were to observe his concentrated gaze or his swiveling ears, they might have realized that he was hard at work eavesdropping on a particular conversation. Two booths down, 'Vil and Lily were having a hushed talk about things that normal ponies would never be allowed to hear. Despite his age, Sweet Cake's hearing had not diminished in the slightest allowing him to hear parts of their conversation. “The robbery?” He heard 'Vil ask Lily. “What's that got to do with me?” “One of the crystals that went missing wasn't some gem.” Lily said in a hushed tone. “'Vil, there's something I need to tell you. We lost. . . 'him.'” “Oh dear.” Sweet Cake swallowed the last of his coffee and set the cup down. Standing, he left the appropriate amount of bits on the counter and began to walk to the door. “Take care Sergeant.” Sunny called. “You too Sunny.” He said as he exited the diner. Looking into the sky, he guess that it was about seven thirty. To no one in particular, he asked a question. “It's going to be 'one of those days', isn't it?”