//------------------------------// // 2: The Etheric Connoisseur // Story: But Wait...There's More! // by McPoodle //------------------------------// But Wait...There’s More! - 2: The Etheric Connoisseur - From Fillydelphia to Canterlot by the TEDS was a long, comfortable trip, and the dirigible was rather large, so the group split up to follow their separate interests. After about an hour, Vinyl found Twilight Sparkle on the observation deck. From the lack of anypony else around, she was almost certainly stargazing. “Looking at the Clydesdales?” the DJ asked, as her horn began to glow a soft purple. “Yes,” answered the unicorn mage after a moment. “I’ve seen brighter meteor showers than this one—Princess Luna put on an incredible show a few months back, but I’ve always felt a personal attachment to the Clydesdales as they return year after year. Seeing them was one of my first memories—the Clydesdales got me interested in astronomy, which made me want to see the Summer Sun Celebration, which got me interested in magic, so I don’t know what sort of pony I’d be if not for them.” She looked over at the sightless pony and sighed. “Of course, that probably doesn’t mean much to you. Let me try to describe them...” Vinyl raised a hoof in irritation as her horn glowed even brighter. “You forget about my horn sight. I can see in perfect detail anything smaller than a grain of sand or larger than a city—it’s just the stuff in between that can be a bit troublesome.” She pointed her horn at an area in the sky where several small points of light were clustered inside a dim smudge—Comet Anheuser, the object which gave birth to the Clydesdales. “Fragment 7 of the comet has just finished splitting in half,” she informed Twilight. “The larger piece is rotating, and the inner surface has a much lower albedo than the outer, so I expect you should be able to see it twinkling a bit.” “I’m sorry,” said Twilight. “My own experiments with horn sight have not gone very well, so I tend to forget what a unicorn that’s better at it is able to do.” She looked in the direction indicated and did see the twinkle, but was quite unable to resolve this to Vinyl’s level of detail. But as in every other academic discussion, Twilight felt she simply had to come out on top, and with a little reflection, she thought of the perfect retort. “Do you know the story of how the Clydesdales came to be?” she asked, and then prepared to recount the story she had learned from one of the Ancient books in her possession. “No,” Vinyl swiftly interrupted her, “and neither do you. The princesses said it happened ‘before the beginning of time’, and refused to provide any details. Unless you’re claiming to know something denied to every mortal in Equestria?” “No,” Twilight answered with a sigh. Just then the door to the observation deck opened and an audible “click” accompanied the return of the lights Twilight had extinguished in order to watch the skies. “Ah, there you are!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “We’re getting close to Canterlot Station,” added Rarity. “We’d better get inside.” ~ ~ ~ The ponies were walking down an aisle towards their seats when Rarity and Vinyl suddenly froze in place, while Twilight groaned in exasperation. “The 9 PM TEDS flight from Fillydelphia will be delayed 15 minutes due to construction overruns at Canterlot Station. And whether you’re stuck in the air, or stuck at the station waiting for your loved ones to arrive, wouldn’t this be the perfect time for a Whinny’s Bar? Packed with peanuts and creamy nougat, nothing beats a Whinny’s Bar, available at fine confectioners and snack bars everywhere. This has been a traffic announcement from CEN.” Rarity and Vinyl, along with the vast majority of the other unicorn passengers, shook their heads lightly to clear the spell, and then set out to find something to occupy the time. “Fifteen minute delay,” Rarity explained to Rainbow Dash, who had been struck dumb by the sight of nearly everyone else’s eyes glazing over at the exact same moment. “What just happened to you?” Rainbow asked. “That was a broadcast from CEN, the Canterlot Etheric Network,” explained Twilight. “It’s a thought transmission system for the unicorns of Canterlot, the only such network of its kind in all of Equestria.” “Ohhh,” said Rainbow. “Rarity told me about that. Wait, if everypony’s weirded out by telegraphy, why does Canterlot put up with thought transmission?” The ponies had reached their seats by this point, so Twilight settled back in her chair to do what she loved doing: explaining. “Well, it’s the pegasi and earth ponies that really get ‘weirded out’ by the Telegraph family—we unicorns have to deal with all kinds of weird stuff thanks to our horns,” she began. “And so the population of Canterlot has been less adverse to the idea of thought transmission than most others. Forty one years ago, Professor Macaroni of Canterlot worked out that the etheric mode of thought transmission was ideal for creating a system that could transmit emergency instructions in audio form to every unicorn in the city. Since etheric thoughts are devoid of anything other than sounds, they don’t have the negative side effects of telegraph messages, and they can be picked up by any unicorn. The other advantages of etheric telepathy included the simplicity of the broadcasting spell, a range big enough to blanket the city, the fact that the recipients could never mistake an etheric thought for one of their own, and the additional fact that the recipient could never be forced to receive a transmission—you can sort of hear it in the background, but you’re free to ignore a transmission if you’ve got something better to do. Based on this research, he got a grant from the city council and set up the first transmission tower, nestled within the cliff wall.” Twilight rather resembled an enthusiastic school teacher as she continued her lecture. “Funding from the city never extended beyond basic upkeep of equipment and the transmission of messages during times of emergency, but over time many were drawn to the system as a means of broadcasting their works to the masses. Experimental composers and theater troupes were quite willing to pay to broadcast their works to anypony who was willing to listen.” Twilight sighed. “Unfortunately, the Golden Age of Etherics ended when I was eight. Some clever colt had the bright idea of raising the funds to pay for his broadcast by including advertising in the program. Within a matter of months, CEN had been transformed into a profit-making corporation, and I know I wasn’t the only unicorn to turn our non-emergency etheric reception off for good in response.” There was an uncomfortable pause after Twilight finished her story, largely because every single unicorn who heard (or overheard) her story was a die-hard etheric junkie. Finally Rarity stepped forward to deliver the majority opinion. “I’d rather not correct you,” she said, “but in my opinion at least, the Golden Age of Etherics began with Puckish Peter’s Picked Peppers, rather than ended. Thanks to commercial sponsorship, etheric programs are written and acted by professionals, instead of the amateurs from before. The analysis from CEN News easily surpasses anything you’ll find in a Canterlot newspaper, while their drama shows, comedy shows, horror shows and especially adventure shows rival the best shows playing on Manehattan’s Musical Way. “ “I’ll say!” Rainbow Dash butted in. “Rarity acted a few of them out for me, and they were fantastic!” “Acted?” Vinyl asked teasingly. “Didn’t you used to tell me that acting was beneath you?” “Well,” Rarity sputtered, “it’s a rather useful skill for those occasions when Sweetie Belle is having trouble getting to sleep.”