Chapter Fourteen
Things Unsaid
⠀
⠀
The shuffling of people rising to their feet and making their way to the door echoed through the church. Some made directly for the exit, while others congregated around the edges to speak with one another now that the service had ended.
Fluttershy, however, remained seated. It was easier for her to wait for others to get out of the way before getting up. She was, after all, twenty weeks pregnant. She still got around well enough for the most part, but mobility was beginning to be an issue.
As the people around her thinned out, Fluttershy used the back of the pew in front of her to keep steady as she rose to her feet. She made her way to the door without looking at anyone, pretending she wasn’t aware of how some of them stared at her.
As usual, Sunset was already there waiting for her. Fluttershy smiled once she saw her, even if it was a smaller smile than she’d really like to show her girlfriend.
Fluttershy was not blind to what some members of the church thought, especially the older members. No one knew the full story since Fluttershy didn’t talk to the others much, but it was easy to pick apart some of the pieces.
A young lady, barely out of school, who was very visibly pregnant. No man had ever attended church with her, and she did not wear a ring. Another woman had come to church with her at first, but after only two services, she would only show up at the end and wait in the doorway.
Occasionally Fluttershy would catch a few words of gossip. The less worldly busybodies seemed to assume they were either sisters or roommates, and that Fluttershy’s boyfriend must have left her when she became pregnant. A few others had come closer to the truth, and all Fluttershy could do was to try not to think of their opinions on the matter.
“Hi, Sunny,” Fluttershy said as she reached the door.
“Hey, Shy. How was the service?”
“It was nice.”
The two of them walked to the car side by side, but they did nothing that could be construed as romantic. Fluttershy was a gay Christian. Even if she hadn’t heard some of it firsthand from poorly concealed murmurs around her, she was well aware how people would think of that.
As with most things concerning her faith, Sunset was either unaware or unconcerned about the things people said. Or maybe she just thought Fluttershy hadn’t noticed, so she didn’t want to bring attention to it.
It was hard to say, and Fluttershy didn’t dare ask. Although Sunset had never once said anything against Fluttershy’s growing connection with her faith, Fluttershy knew she didn’t hold religion in particularly high regard. At best, Sunset seemed to consider it bizarre.
And besides, she seemed to be in a good mood, and Fluttershy didn’t want to disrupt that. She grinned as she walked, and spoke with a playfulness in her voice. “Hmm, you haven’t asked what I did today,” Sunset said with a grin.
“Oh! I’m sorry, that was rude of me.” Fluttershy frowned, cursing herself for getting so lost in her thoughts. “Uhm, what have you been up to all morning?”
“Oh, nothing.” Sunset seemed to be trying to fight it, but her grin was growing from cocky to excited. “Just got you a surprise is all.”
“A surprise? But why?”
Sunset shrugged. “Well, let’s see… You’re twenty weeks, so we’re halfway there. We could both use some good news after the past few weeks. And… hmm, I swear there was one more reason…” Sunset took a chance to look around the parking lot for prying ears as she pretended to try and remember her last reason. “Oh yeah! Because I love you.”
Fluttershy blushed and wished Sunset wouldn’t be so open, at least not until they got to the car. “Thank you, Sunny, that’s very sweet. But you know I don’t need anything.”
“Well, truth be told it’s not just a gift for you.” They reached the car, but Sunset went to the back seat rather than the front. “It’s for Sky, too.”
Sunset opened the back door and pulled out an acoustic guitar, which she handed to an awestruck Fluttershy. “Sunset, you didn’t! This must’ve cost a fortune!”
“Aww, it wasn’t that much. It’s secondhand, and I negotiated a good price for it.” Sunset grinned sheepishly. “Plus I worked out a payment plan, I’ve been paying it off for the past few paychecks. Just finished today.”
Fluttershy strummed the guitar, smiling at the sound. “You still shouldn’t have.”
“Come on, Shy. What are you gonna do? Shred some lullabies for Sky on my electric guitar?”
Fluttershy could already see it. When it was time for Sky to get to sleep, Sunset would carry her to her crib as Fluttershy carried the guitar. She’d play a gentle song, and both of them would sing quietly in a duet. Sky would fall asleep in Sunset’s loving embrace before they even reached the crib, so she’d need to be lowered in gently. Once she was tucked in, Fluttershy and Sunset would stand side by side and watch their beautiful baby girl dream peacefully.
“It’s wonderful, and I love it.” Fluttershy held the guitar tightly, as if it were an animal that needed love. “Thank you so much, Sunny, I can’t wait to start practicing!”
Sunset was all smiles as she got in the car. “We’ve got someone else you can practice for if you want.”
Fluttershy blushed at the thought as she walked around and got in the other side. “I think I should work on it alone at first. Miss Rose doesn’t need to hear all my mistakes.”
Sunset shrugged. “She wouldn’t even notice.”
Although Sunset tried to play it cool about Rose Petal, Fluttershy could tell that she was distraught over the elderly woman’s declining health. She visited almost every day, and when she could, Fluttershy would go with her. Rose had never once remembered Fluttershy, and she’d usually need to be reintroduced several times each day, but she did usually know who Sunset was.
“You should play something for her,” Fluttershy suggested. “I bet she’d really love to hear you play.”
“Yeah, if she doesn’t think I’m like six or something today.” Sunset couldn’t quite manage to feign indifference. She started the car and backed out of the parking spot, then managed to smile again as she left the parking lot. “But I guess we could bring it and see if she’s feeling up to listen to me clumsily strum through a song or two.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re really good.”
Sunset chuckled. “I’m okay, I guess. I’d probably be a lot better if I kept practicing after the Rainbooms fizzled out. Once we stopped performing, I pretty much just let my guitar gather dust until you came along.”
“And I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher.” Fluttershy smiled and tried playing a few notes. It was awkward and difficult to play in the car, but at least her fingers found the frets she wanted easily enough. She imagined she’d adapt to playing the acoustic guitar just fine, but for now, she set it on the floor between her legs as they drove.
Sunset looked back at the church before turning onto the main road. “Hey, Shy? I’ve been wondering, what’ll happen with church and stuff when Sky’s born?”
Fluttershy looked at her quizzically. “Uhm, you do know I don’t have to go every week, right? I’ll just stop going until I feel well enough again.”
“Oh, yeah, I know that part. I meant more, like, with Sky. Did you, er, want her to go to church and stuff too?”
“Oh…” Truthfully, Fluttershy hadn’t given it much thought. She had always gone to church with her parents, and had taken it as a given that Sky would do the same. “I guess… it doesn’t really matter when she’s a baby. You could just watch her while I’m at church, if, uhm, if you don’t mind.”
Sunset frowned. “You say that like she isn’t my daughter too. Of course I’ll watch her.”
Fluttershy felt guilty for making it sound like Sunset wasn’t also Sky’s mom, but the reminder that they were going to be a real family together made it hard to feel too bad. Every time Sunset said something about their future as parents or called Sky her daughter, Fluttershy felt a sudden rush.
Although she did have to remember that Sunset being Sky’s mom would mean figuring out what to do about things they didn’t agree about. “I guess… we’ll have to figure out what’s best when she’s a little older. I, uhm, I do think she should be baptized, though…”
“Oh, okay. So uh, that’s just like a one-time thing, right?”
“Mhm. Then she can just spend Sunday mornings with you. And… maybe when she’s a little older, I could try taking her and seeing how she likes it?”
Sunset hesitated. Fluttershy knew she wouldn’t have anything against Sky taking up religion if that’s how she felt, but that wasn’t really what they were talking about. As a child, Sky’s interest in religion would be directly related to what they taught her, and Sunset probably wasn’t thrilled at the idea of teaching her daughter something she didn’t believe in.
But before too long, Sunset smiled. “Yeah, I guess that sounds fair. Although I gotta ask, do any kids actually like going to church?”
“I did.”
“Wait, really? Even when you were little and you could’ve been playing with friends or watching cartoons or whatever?”
Fluttershy shrugged. “I got to wear pretty dresses and all the adults were really nice to me, and I liked all the stories and songs. Besides, that’s how I met Rainbow Dash.”
Sunset suddenly started laughing, although Fluttershy wasn’t sure what was so funny about that. “You met Rainbow Dash in church!?”
“Yes. We were in a prayer group together with the other kids. We didn’t –”
Sunset’s laughter cut Fluttershy off. “You met her in a church prayer group? Oh man, this just keeps getting better!”
Fluttershy frowned and looked out the window.
“So wait, did she get dressed up in pretty little dresses and sing songs and everything?”
Fluttershy ignored the question. The last thing she needed was for Sunset to learn that yes, Rainbow did in fact get dressed up and sing songs, and that it had been an early inspiration for both of them to take up singing.
“Gosh, it’s just… so hard to imagine.” Sunset’s laughter subsided, but the amusement was all too clear in her voice.
“Yeah. How could someone ‘cool’ like Rainbow ever like something like that…”
It was obvious that Sunset picked up on Fluttershy’s tone, but she hadn’t exactly been trying to be subtle. “Uh, everything okay, Shy?”
Fluttershy didn’t answer.
“Are you… mad at me?”
“No,” Fluttershy lied.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Shy… I’m sorry if I said something that bothered you.”
“I said it’s fine.”
Neither of them spoke, letting only silence pass between them. It was one thing for Sunset to not be interested in religion. While it would be nice to share that part of her life with the woman she loved, she understood that Sunset hadn’t grown up with religion as part of her life, and she didn’t expect her girlfriend to pick it up just because she was religious.
But it was another thing for Sunset to laugh about it, especially when she knew the reason Sunset was laughing was because she saw the whole thing as silly. Sure, it was fine for someone like Fluttershy to believe in that kind of thing, but when it was someone like Rainbow then it didn’t make any sense.
Fluttershy shifted in her seat, drawing her attention to the guitar as it rested against her legs. The gift had been incredibly thoughtful, and Sunset had given it to her just a few minutes earlier. She should be grateful, but instead she was mad at her over something dumb. The best thing to do would be to drop it, apologize, and put the whole thing behind them.
Instead, Fluttershy stayed silent for the rest of the ride. By the time they reached the hospital, she felt more angry at herself than at Sunset.
She was worried that Sunset would be upset with her, but her tone only sounded cautious as she spoke. “So, here we are.”
In a way, that was worse. It just reminded Fluttershy that she had snapped at her girlfriend for no reason. And it seemed Sunset was afraid of her snapping again, as if Fluttershy could ever be hostile towards her. It wasn’t like Fluttershy was the one who had violently exploded a few weeks ago.
Fluttershy immediately regretted even thinking something like that. She knew Sunset had only wanted to protect her from Stormy Skies, and it wasn’t like she cared about him getting hurt. But she hadn’t quite managed to shake the memory of Sunset looking so angry, or of the fact that her anger had taken such a violent form, or of the thought that maybe Fluttershy herself might make her that angry somehow…
“Fluttershy?”
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said before she even knew what she was apologizing for. There was usually some reason for her to apologize, after all.
“You feeling okay?” Sunset asked. “You’re kind of zoning out over there.”
“Yeah, I’m…” Fluttershy lowered her head. She couldn’t tell Sunset what was going through her mind, she could never tell Sunset she had thoughts like that about her. “I’m just feeling a little dizzy is all.”
“Oh! Want me to run in and get a water or something from the vending machine?”
Sunset was always so considerate. She did everything she could just to make Fluttershy feel comfortable, and it was stupid to be afraid of her. “No, I’ll be okay. Stretching my legs and getting a little fresh air on the way in will be good for me.”
“Alright, stay there a minute.” Sunset got out of the car and quickly went around to the passenger side. She opened Fluttershy’s door and held out a hand to help her up.
There was no need, but it was a nice gesture, so Fluttershy accepted her help. Once she was out of the car, Sunset took the guitar in one hand while offering her other arm for support. Fluttershy blushed as she linked her arm around Sunset’s, although nothing more intimate happened.
“Here, let’s take a seat on the benches,” Sunset suggested. “That way we can get some more air before going in.”
“It’s fine, Sunny. I’m feeling better already.”
“You sure? I could get you something to eat or drink, and you could try playing the guitar if you’re feeling up to it.”
“I’m sure. Let’s not keep Miss Rose waiting.”
Although Sunset looked like she might protest for a second, she shifted to a smile and led them inside. “Right, gotta get there soon in case she’s got somewhere to be.” She kept hold of Fluttershy’s arm to help steady her though, and Fluttershy didn’t bother to point out that she didn’t need it.
They stopped by the front reception, where they were immediately recognized. “Welcome back.”
“Morning,” Sunset said.
“It’s, uhm, it’s afternoon, Sunset…” Fluttershy said.
“Fifteen minutes after noon does not count as afternoon.”
“I think it technically does,” the receptionist said. She typed something into her computer, then her smile disappeared without a trace.
Sunset didn’t seem to notice. “I mean I guess, yeah, it’s technically afternoon. But it has to be one before you really call it afternoon!”
“You two are here to see Rose Petal, right?” Something in the receptionist’s tone was off.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Sunset said, her own smile fading as well. “Is this a bad time?”
The receptionist opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it and winced. Fluttershy knew what was coming without being told, and she suspected Sunset did too.
“During the night, Rose Petal passed away. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll have the doctor come down to talk with you.”
Sunset stared without responding. Fluttershy expected something, maybe denial or anger or… something. But Sunset only stared.
Fluttershy wasn’t sure what to say, so she led Sunset to a seat. Sunset sat down, but she seemed to be in a daze. She still didn’t say anything.
“Sunset, I’m…” Fluttershy didn’t know what else to do, so she just wrapped her arms around Sunset.
Slowly, Sunset reached an arm around Fluttershy as well. She didn’t say anything, and neither did Fluttershy.
Even though Fluttershy barely knew Rose, she was on the verge of tears. She wasn’t even sure if she’d be crying for Rose or for Sunset. She chanced a look up at Sunset’s face, and saw she looked unfocused.
“It’s, uhm…” She wanted to say ‘it’s going to be okay’, but she couldn’t. She knew too well what that felt like, and that it would only make Sunset hurt more. “I love you, Sunny.”
“Yeah,” Sunset muttered slowly. “Love you too, Shy…”
It was obvious that it was only an automatic response. Sunset’s mind was somewhere else, and Fluttershy didn’t know how to bring her back.
They sat in silence until the doctor came. When she arrived, Sunset stood up to shake her hand. Just like that, she was already back to playing the calm and collected role. If Fluttershy didn’t know her better, she wouldn’t even notice anything was wrong.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” the doctor said. “You should know she went peacefully in her sleep.”
“So… what happens now?”
“Tenderheart is in charge of her affairs. I have a phone number she left for anyone who wants to get in contact about the funeral.”
“She’s the resident nurse at New Horizons. I know the phone number.”
It all seemed so casual, even if it was anything but. And the more they talked, the more it looked like Sunset was on top of everything. It was almost enough to convince even Fluttershy.
While the tone of the conversation remained solemn, they moved down a list of things to talk about quickly and with surprisingly little sentimentality. They talked about how they had known this end was inevitable, about how Rose was comfortable in her last days, that Sunset had helped with her regular visits, and the surprise of suddenly finding out like this.
The whole conversation couldn’t have lasted more than ten minutes, then the doctor was on her way to her next patient while Sunset and Fluttershy were walking out of the building. Sunset walked with one hand in her pocket and the other around the guitar. She kept her eyes on the ground, and Fluttershy struggled to find something to say to her.
She never found anything, though. The best she could do was when they reached the car and she offered, “Uhm, maybe I should drive.”
Sunset continued to the driver’s side anyway. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll drive.”
Fluttershy hesitated, but Sunset didn’t. She laid the guitar in the back seat then got into the front, leaving Fluttershy standing outside the car on her own.
With nothing else to do, Fluttershy walked to the passenger’s side and got in. She left the door open and her seatbelt off to keep Sunset from driving away. “I love you, Sunny.”
Sunset’s response was detached and distant. “Love you too.”
“I, uhm…” Fluttershy struggled with her words. She wanted to insist that Sunset let her drive, that she wasn’t in a state to do it herself, but she had never been good at insisting. “I really don’t mind, if uhm, if you wanted me to drive.”
“It’s fine.” Sunset turned to Fluttershy with, of all things, a small smile. “I’m fine. I promise.”
It was true that Sunset seemed fine, although Fluttershy didn’t understand how she could be. “A-are you sure?”
Sunset took a deep breath. “Look, Shy… Yes, I’m upset. Of course I am. Rose was a big part of my life growing up, and I… I’m sad she’s gone. She deserved a lot better than…” Sunset’s voice caught in her throat, but she took another steadying breath and managed to continue with an even tone. “She deserved better than that.”
Sunset paused for a moment, so Fluttershy placed a hand on hers. She met Fluttershy’s eyes and spoke evenly as she continued. “But I think this past month has maybe given you the wrong idea about me and Rose. We weren’t really… close. I mean, I wasn’t close with anyone back then, you know? And then I moved away and didn’t even try to visit for like two years. Don’t get me wrong, I respect her so much. She was an amazing woman, and she should still be here to look after all her kids. That’s the main reason I wanted to visit her though, because how much I respect her and how unfair it was for this to happen.”
Fluttershy squeezed Sunset’s hand, who in turn smiled at her again. “I appreciate you being here for me, and trying to make things easier. But really, you don’t need to worry so much. I’m fine, Shy.”
Although she wasn’t fully convinced, Fluttershy shut her door and put on her seatbelt. “Okay, as long as you’re sure…”
Sunset started the car and left the parking lot. “I’ll drop you off at home, then I’ll head over to New Horizons. I want to talk to Tenderheart and see if there’s anything I can do to help with the funeral.”
“Oh, you don’t have to drop me off, I’ll go with you.”
Sunset smirked. “Thanks, Shy, but I’m really okay. I can handle this on my own, no need for you to worry about it.”
Fluttershy knew better than to try convincing Sunset she shouldn’t be alone, so she took a different approach. “I know you don’t need me there, but I’d still like to go. It’s not like I have anything else to do at home.”
“You could catch up on school work, practice guitar, just… do anything other than sit around for a depressing conversation like this.”
“I… I’d actually rather not be alone…” It wasn’t a lie, exactly, but Fluttershy knew she actually would be okay on her own. But if there was one thing she could count on, it was that Sunset would be more likely to agree if it was for Fluttershy’s sake rather than her own. “I know I barely knew Miss Rose, but… I’d still rather be with you right now, if… if that’s okay.”
Sunset looked her way while she paused at a stop sign, then turned her eyes back to the road as she resumed driving. “Yeah, okay. I should’ve thought about that, sorry.”
“It’s okay!” Fluttershy said quickly. “I know you’re just trying to think of what’s best for me.”
The drive to New Horizons was a little worrying, but ultimately went by without incident. Sunset focused more on the road than on conversation, and yet there were still a few times she had to stop a little more suddenly than usual or took a little longer to notice a light had changed to green.
It was enough to convince Fluttershy that she had been right to offer to take the wheel, but not enough to make her bring it up again. And really, there weren’t any close calls or anything serious, even if Fluttershy’s hand was gripping the armrest tightly the entire time.
The drive felt much longer than it needed to, as Fluttershy kept constant surveillance of the cars around them in case something popped up that Sunset wouldn’t have time to react to. She debated turning on the radio to possibly ease Sunset’s nerves, but she wasn’t sure if it would just provide another distraction that pulled from her already strained attention. She continued debating for the entire trip, unable to act on even a decision as small as that.
All the worrying was for nothing, however. They reached New Horizons safe and sound, and Sunset found a parking space.
It was the first time Fluttershy had ever seen the place where Sunset had grown up, and she found it looked much nicer than Sunset’s description had made it sound. It was a yellow two-story building, well kept and inviting. There were children running around outside, playing away in the Sunday afternoon without a care.
“This place seems nice,” Fluttershy said. It was the first time she’d tried to start a conversation in a while, having stopped when she noticed how distracted Sunset’s driving was.
“It’s okay, I guess.” Sunset turned off the car, but she didn’t get out. Instead, she stared up at the building, no doubt due to memories that came rushing back at the sight of it.
“It’ll be okay, Sunny,” Fluttershy said as she placed her hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “I’m here.”
“Yeah.” Sunset didn’t react to Fluttershy’s touch, and after a moment, she opened her door. “Well, let’s get it over with.”
Fluttershy lingered just a moment as she watched Sunset leaving the car, wondering what was going through her head and wishing she would let her in. But wishes weren’t going to do anything for them, not now, so she soon got out of the car as well.
Sunset led the way to the building, Fluttershy remaining a few steps behind. Sunset stopped to look back when she reached the door, but she opened it before Fluttershy could say anything else to her.
The inside of the building reminded Fluttershy of a school office, with pictures of New Horizons over the years. Fluttershy recognized Rose Petal in many of them.
“Hi, I’m here to see Nurse Tenderheart,” Sunset said to the receptionist.
“I’m afraid she’s very busy today. Is it an important meeting?”
“Yeah. It’s about Rose Petal. Guessing that’s what she’s busy with?”
“Oh! Oh yes, it is. I’ll call her and let her know you’re here. Name?”
“Sunset Shimmer.”
“Sunset… wait, didn’t you used to live here?”
Fluttershy looked around as Sunset and the receptionist talked. If Sunset found it hard to be in what was once her home, she didn’t act like it. In fact, Sunset once again seemed perfectly composed, almost as if nothing tragic had happened at all.
As she looked, one picture in particular caught her eye. She turned back to Sunset to ask about it, but she was still talking with the receptionist, so instead she walked over herself to get a closer look.
It was a group photo, with somewhere around twenty kids. It could’ve easily passed for a school classroom photo, except that the kids were all different ages. But mainly, there were only two people Fluttershy focused on.
The youngest and shortest kids were in the front while the staff were off to the side or in the back. Down in the front row all the way on the end was a young amber-colored girl with red and yellow hair. She didn’t even bother trying to smile for the camera, instead glaring at it as if she would rather be anywhere else.
And standing beside her was an elderly woman, though not quite as elderly as Fluttershy had ever seen her in person. Her hair was mostly maroon, even if she already had silver streaks in it, and she was much less thin and frail looking.
“I always hated taking those photos,” Sunset said from behind Fluttershy.
“Really? But you just look so happy here,” Fluttershy teased. In different circumstances, Fluttershy would’ve loved to learn more about Sunset when she was growing up, especially with pictures like this one. Even if she was determined to look as miserable as possible, Fluttershy couldn’t help but find her adorable.
“We took one every so often. I never really got it. I mean, some kids were only here for like a week or two, there’s no way they could ever get an accurate snapshot of the residents over the years.”
“Well, what about now? You must’ve known some of these kids. Isn’t it nice to have a way to look back at your old friends?”
Sunset frowned and pointed to an enthusiastic young girl. “Dew Drop. We went to kindergarten together, and I made her cry a lot. I didn’t even try to, it just seemed like every other time we talked I did something that made her cry. And this –” Sunset indicated another girl “– was her best friend, Sugar Breeze. We got into a physical fight once because I tried to steal her toy. Even when we weren’t getting into full-blown fights, we argued all the time.”
“Oh…” Fluttershy wasn’t really sure what to say. Sometimes she almost forgot that Sunset wasn’t the same person she used to be.
Sunset shrugged. “I don’t have a lot of memories worth looking back on. But it’s fine, I have a future to look forward to instead.”
Even if her tone suggested nothing was wrong, the way Sunset’s eyes were drawn to Rose in the picture said otherwise. It was hard to blame her for not wanting to get too personal in the lobby of the group home she grew up in. Fluttershy just hoped that she would open up once they were home.
But that was a question for later; for now, they had a meeting. “Hello, Sunset,” a blue woman with seafoam green hair said. “Come this way, we can talk in my office.”
They followed the woman that must have been Nurse Tenderheart down a hall. Once they left the lobby, Fluttershy found the building had a much more homey feel to it. There was softer lighting and personal knick-knacks dotted the walls.
Even the office they were brought to felt more informal than Fluttershy had expected; the first aid and basic medical supplies looked out of place against the personal possessions and pictures.
“It’s been a long time, Sunset,” Tenderheart said. “I wish we were catching up under better circumstances.”
“Me too,” Sunset said. She took a seat across from Tenderheart’s desk and gestured to Fluttershy. “This is Fluttershy, my girlfriend.”
“Hello, Fluttershy.” Tenderheart extended her hand and shook Fluttershy’s.
“It’s, uhm…” Fluttershy had to stop the automatic response of ‘it’s nice to meet you’, since the circumstances were anything but nice. “I’m sorry about your loss.”
“Yes, it’s hard to imagine Miss Rose being gone, I’ve known her for many years now. Not quite as many as Sunset, but a fair few.”
Sunset’s eyes drifted down to Tenderheart’s desk. “Yeah, even just being here makes me feel like, you know, she could pop in at any time.”
“This must be so hard for you… I know how close you and Miss Rose were.”
Sunset picked her head up. “I’ll be okay. I did want to talk to you about the funeral though, and see if there’s anything I can do to help.”
Tenderheart smiled sadly. “That’s very thoughtful of you, but there’s no need to trouble yourself.”
“It’s no trouble! I want to help if I can.”
Tenderheart shook her head. “What I mean is that everything is all taken care of. All that I have left to do is contact the funeral home and figure out the date. We all knew this was coming, after all, so we’ve had time to prepare.”
Sunset’s head drooped again. “Oh, I see.”
Tenderheart slid a book from across her desk to where Sunset and Fluttershy could see it. “I was just looking through this before you stopped by. A few of us have been digging through the mountain of photographs we’ve got in storage here to make a photo album of Rose’s life.”
The book was already opened to an early page, and the black and white pictures showed a much younger Rose, who couldn’t have been older than thirty. Between the colorless photos and how young she was, she would’ve been unrecognizable if Tenderheart hadn’t told them whom they were looking at.
“This is such a nice album,” Fluttershy said. “I didn’t realize she’d worked here so long.”
“Yeah, she said it was still the New Horizons Orphanage when she started working here,” Sunset explained as she looked over the pictures. “Back before they decided Group Home was a nicer name.”
“She started working here when she was eighteen,” Tenderheart said. “Of course, I’m sure Sunset’s probably heard even more of that than I have.”
It was subtle, but Fluttershy noticed the way Sunset had pursed her lips at the comment. But whatever she was feeling was quickly pushed away as she looked up at Tenderheart. “Are there any pictures from way back then? I’ve never seen any of her when she was that young.”
“As a matter of fact, there is one.” Tenderheart flipped to the first page of the book, which had a picture of several older ladies and one younger one in identical uniforms standing together. “That’s Rose on the end there, on her first day working at New Horizons. I wouldn’t have recognized her if she hadn’t told me about that day herself.”
Sunset reached her hand to the photograph, tracing her fingers along the edges. “Geez, she was younger than me there.”
“They were so happy to have her work with them that they took that picture to commemorate her first day. Getting a picture taken was a big deal back in those days, you know. But given the circumstances, they decided it was worthwhile.”
Again, Sunset gave the smallest indication something about that comment seemed off to her, just a little wince that was only noticeable to Fluttershy because she’d been watching her so closely. Since Sunset didn’t enquire, Fluttershy did for her. “The, uhm, circumstances?”
“Well, back in those days, New Horizons was a genuine orphanage. These days the caretakers here are all hourly employees who are only here for their scheduled shifts, and kids are placed into foster care whenever possible. But back then, the kids were expected to be long-term residents, and the caretakers lived here with them.”
Sunset nodded slowly. “Rose told me a little about that on my first day here. She said they all lived together like a family.”
“Oh, I see,” Fluttershy smiled as she thought of what that would be like, to not just get a new job, but a whole new lifestyle. “It must have been a big deal whenever someone new came to work with them.”
“Yes, I imagine it was,” Tenderheart said. “But especially Rose, since she’d already lived here so long.”
Sunset’s eyes darted towards Tenderheart, and Fluttershy could tell she didn’t want to ask, so again, Fluttershy asked for her. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, well Rose grew up here. I don’t know what happened that she wound up living at New Horizons as a child, but she’s said that her family here is all the family she ever had.”
Although Fluttershy was sure that Sunset didn’t know Rose had been an orphan, she didn’t let any of the surprise work its way into her voice. “Don’t suppose there are any pictures of her when she lived here as a kid?”
Tenderheart sighed. “I don’t think so, but I’m actually not sure. There aren’t many pictures from back then, although there are a few photographs could be her. But who’s to say? They’re all black and white, so it’s hard to really tell. And since they aren’t dated or even really organized, we can’t even compare the children in them to how old she would’ve been at the time. And while we have some old records with the names of children that would’ve lived with her, matching them to photographs would be an impossible task.”
Sunset just nodded and turned the page, finding more old black and white pictures of Rose. They spent a long time looking through pictures, and Fluttershy got the impression it was good for both of them. Tenderheart didn’t know the context for most of them, but she did share what she knew when she did.
The earlier years only had fewer photos, with Rose aging ten to fifteen years in only a few pages. Then slowly, the pictures grew more consistent. Eventually they turned to color, and Rose began looking a little more like the elderly caretaker that Fluttershy had seen standing beside Sunset in the lobby photograph.
Remembering that photo made Fluttershy realize something inevitable was coming. She couldn’t help but look forward to it a little, although she wondered how Sunset would take it.
Sure enough, about three quarters of the way through the book, a picture of Rose standing with her arm around a young Sunset popped up. Sunset wasn’t glaring at the camera, although she did look apathetic.
“Wow, a real ray of sunshine there, huh?” Sunset joked.
Fluttershy ignored the thickness in Sunset’s voice. “How old were you there?”
“That was probably middle school, so I was maybe eleven or twelve.”
“There’s a few with you in there,” Tenderheart said with a smirk. “And you’re not smiling in any of them.”
“Yeah, I had a pretty major attitude problem.”
“There is actually one picture of you two that isn’t in there, though.” Tenderheart watched Sunset with a sad expression. “When I heard from one of the hospital nurses that you started visiting her, I made sure to set it aside for you. I knew you’d come to see me once the time came and, well… You should have it.”
Tenderheart opened a drawer under her desk and pulled out a frame, which she passed to Sunset. The photo inside must have been from when Sunset had first moved to New Horizons, considering how young she was in it.
She was only five or six, and she was sitting on a couch next to Rose. Or at least, she must have been sitting up at some point before the photo was taken, but then she’d fallen asleep. She was lying against Rose, who had an arm around the sleeping girl. An open book sat on her lap, and Rose was smiling happily. And even if she was asleep, Sunset somehow looked happy too.
“That one was with her personal things in her room. She kept it on her bedside table.”
Sunset kept her eyes on the picture, and Fluttershy could tell she was trying her best to keep it together. Fluttershy put a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “It’s a really nice picture.”
Sunset swallowed and nodded, setting the picture down in her lap. “Yeah, it is.”
Even if Sunset’s voice was surprisingly level, Tenderheart’s gentle smile proved she’d seen the brief crack in Sunset’s armor as well. “I know you meant so much to Rose, and she’d be so proud of who you’ve become.”
Sunset just nodded and looked back at the picture.
Before anyone could say anything else, Tenderheart’s phone rang. “Sorry, one moment,” she said to Sunset and Fluttershy before answering it. “Hello? Okay. No, it’s fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Should we get out of your hair?” Sunset asked as Tenderheart hung up the phone.
Tenderheart sighed. “It’s been so nice reminiscing with you two, but it’s time for me to get back to work.”
As Tenderheart stood up, Sunset and Fluttershy followed her lead. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do to help?” Sunset asked.
“No, thank you. Oh, but do give me your phone number, I’ll call to let you know when the service is.”
Tenderheart got Sunset a pen and paper, so she wrote her number down. They thanked her for letting them look through the photo album and walked with her back to the lobby. They said their goodbyes, and she left them to go greet a young man in a suit.
Sunset led them out front, where they stopped and lingered.
“How are you feeling?” Fluttershy asked.
“I’m fine,” Sunset insisted. She did sound fine, but she still didn’t make for the car.
“Want to take a walk?” Fluttershy suggested. “I, uhm… I know it must be a lot to sink in.”
“Actually… a walk sounds nice.”
Sunset started walking, but rather than head down towards the sidewalk, she walked around the building. Fluttershy followed, and just hoped they wouldn’t get yelled at by anyone for loitering somewhere they obviously weren’t supposed to be.
Sunset led them to the back of the building, and soon Fluttershy could see their destination clearly. There was a garden behind the group home, full of lush flowers around a picturesque gazebo.
“This was always my favorite part of New Horizons,” Sunset said as they stopped to admire the flowers. “Even better than the library. Hell, I even liked it better than my bedroom, so long as no one else was out here with me.”
“It’s very pretty,” Fluttershy said.
Sunset nodded. “It’s Rose’s garden. She was always out here, planting things or pruning them. Even roped me into helping her once in a while.”
“Hmm, I bet you were quite the gardener.”
Sunset smirked. “Nah, I’ll leave that to AJ. I never really had the knack for figuring out what branches needed to be trimmed and all that.”
They walked along a little further, stopping at a shrub. “Figures,” Sunset muttered. “I’d kinda hoped these would be blooming.”
“Oh? What kind of plant is this?” Fluttershy was pretty sure she already knew.
“Roses,” Sunset said, confirming her suspicion. “But these ones aren’t everblooming, they’re the kind that only bloom once a year. It’s a little early for them to bloom right now, but you know. Would’ve been nice.”
Fluttershy stepped close to Sunset. “Sounds like you know more about gardening than you let on.”
Sunset blushed and scratched her head. It was funny seeing Sunset be modest about something for once. “Well, I’m still no expert.”
They continued walking until they reached the gazebo, where Sunset stopped to sit. “I used to sit out here a lot. Rose did too.”
Fluttershy sat beside her. “I can see why. It’s so peaceful here.”
They sat in silence. Fluttershy hoped it was helping Sunset. She wanted to move things along at Sunset’s pace, but it was so hard to tell what she was thinking when she would only keep insisting she was fine.
After a few minutes, Sunset opened the back of the picture frame. She opened it to reveal the photograph itself, being careful to make sure the picture didn’t fall out. Like Tenderheart had said, the picture didn’t have any date written on the back, or any other marking.
Sunset closed it and frowned. Fluttershy quirked her head, which caused Sunset to blush. “It’s… dumb.”
“What’s dumb?”
Sunset shook her head and looked away. “I don’t know. I guess I was just thinking, you know, she’s had this for all this time. Maybe… maybe she really did want me to have it. Like, she knew this was coming or something. And, I don’t know, maybe there’d be some kind of note for me or whatever.”
Fluttershy took Sunset’s hand in her own. “That’s not dumb. I… I kept looking for something secret like that too, when my mom passed away. I kept hoping she left me one last message, and I just had to find it.”
Sunset let go of Fluttershy’s hand to instead place an arm around her shoulders. “I guess there’s no knowing what someone would’ve said if they just had one more chance.”
“I know it’s hard, but you know she loved you. She kept that picture, after all.”
“Yeah.” Sunset looked down at the picture. “I’m just surprised. There was so much about her I never knew. I mean, I didn’t even know she was an orphan. I lived here for eleven years, how could I not… not know that.”
“You were little. It’s normal to not think about stuff like that as a kid.”
“I guess…”
Sunset didn’t sound too convinced, but Fluttershy didn’t know how to convince her. It wasn’t like she could even draw from her own experiences, since she could remember asking her mom about her life when she was Fluttershy’s age, whatever age that happened to be at any given time.
It was hard to say how long they sat out there, but eventually it was Sunset who stood up. “We should head home. Nothing left to stay around here for, after all.”
“Okay.” Fluttershy stood to follow Sunset. “I, uhm, maybe I should drive.”
“Really, Shy, I’m fine. I’ll drive, don’t worry so much.”
Fluttershy wanted to protest, but like always, she didn’t. She simply followed along back to the car and got in the passenger seat.
“Can you hold this for me?” Sunset asked as she held out the picture.
“Of course.” Fluttershy took the frame carefully, examining it again as she did.
She held it just a bit tighter as Sunset started the car. The anxiety from the ride to New Horizons kicked back up, and she once again resolved to be an extra pair of eyes on the road.
“Thanks for coming with me.” Sunset pulled out of the parking spot, shifted into drive, and they were on their way. “That was probably pretty awkward for you in there.”
“No, not at all.” Fluttershy chanced a smile. “Besides, I got to see how cute you used to be. That was worth coming for all by itself.”
Sunset chuckled. “Yeah, such a cute little bitch. I mean, I know I was unhappy about a lot of stuff, but seeing pictures from back then just reminds me how much of that was my own refusal to try and be happy.”
“Hmm, your poutiness was kind of cute in its own way, though.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
Maybe the day really had been helpful, since Sunset’s driving had improved. She was back to talking casually while she drove, and managing the car with her usual expert skill.
Fluttershy relaxed a bit more as they made their way home without the sudden stops and distant driver. They even had the foresight to stop and get food along the way, since neither of them was in the mood to make lunch.
By the time they returned home, Fluttershy thought she was beginning to understand what Sunset meant when she said she was fine. It wasn’t so much that she was fine, but more that she’d be fine. While Fluttershy had taken years to come to terms with the death of her mom, that just wasn’t who Sunset was.
Sunset would be fine, and if the day ever came that she wasn’t, Fluttershy would be there for her. It was as simple as that, and there was no need to keep worrying about it.
When they got home, Sunset brought in the guitar and drinks while Fluttershy carried the picture and food. They brought everything inside and set it on the living room table, then Fluttershy got a better idea.
She picked the frame back up and brought it to a bookshelf. The bottom shelves were filled with books, but the top one had a number of knick-knacks and mementos. Fluttershy moved them aside, then set the picture of Sunset and Rose next to another one that showed Fluttershy and Breezy Day.
“There,” Fluttershy said. She turned to see Sunset standing behind her and smiled. “What do you think?”
Sunset studied the picture for a moment then smiled as well. “Looks good. But we should eat while the food’s hot. Maybe after that we can break in the new guitar.”
Fluttershy knew Sunset was just trying to keep it together, but maybe that was okay. Maybe all Sunset needed was to keep distracted, then eventually, she’d be as fine as she said she was. Either way, all Fluttershy could do was stay by her side and be ready if she needed someone.
It was still dark when Fluttershy woke up. She’d almost slept through it, Sunset was so quiet, but something reached through her dreams and called her out of them.
“Sunny? Are you crying?”
Sunset didn’t answer, instead just gripping Fluttershy’s arm tighter.
“There there, it’s okay. I’m here.”
Fluttershy pulled Sunset closer, wrapping her arms around her. Sunset buried her face in Fluttershy’s shoulder and her sobs grew louder.
“It’s okay, Sunny.” Fluttershy mimicked what Sunset did whenever she comforted Fluttershy after a nightmare and stroked her hair while speaking gentle reassurances. “I’m here, everything will be okay.”
“I… I can’t believe she’s… she’s…”
“I know.”
“She said… she said it was like a family… when everyone lived at the orphanage. But… then in the end… it was just me. Just me and her living there.”
“She really loved you.”
“But I… it was just me and her… But then I left! I left her alone, and I… I never even looked back!”
“Oh, Sunny… Shh, it’s okay. She loved you, and she was always happy when you visited her.”
“Now… now she’s gone, and I never… I never…”
Sunset couldn’t finish her sentence as she began crying again, and Fluttershy just did what she could think of to comfort her.
“It’s okay, Sunny. Shh, it’s okay. She knew, I know she did. I promise, everything will be okay.”