//------------------------------// // Klugetown // Story: My Little Pony-The Movie (reworked) // by The Blue EM2 //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle The Badlands October 12th, 007 SLR Twilight staggered over the sand dunes, her eyes heavy and encrusted with sleep. They had been going nonstop for several days now, and they seemed to be no closer. The matter was not helped by that fact that Twilight had absolutely no idea which way to go, which was an obvious drawback when the fate of her entire country depended on this mission. Pinkie Pie was acting crazily, which to be honest was not much of a change. “There’s sand in my everything,” she panted. “Heh...saving Equestria...” She suddenly saw a skull, and picked it up. “Oh look, maybe this guy knows which way to go!” She peered at the skull in confusion. “Didn’t I see you pop out behind a door once? What’s that? We’re lost?” She laughed crazily, then fell over. Rainbow Dash was not impressed at the slow pace, her wings dragging in the sand. “Seriously, Twi?” she asked. “We could have just flown ahead to establish the route?” Nobody took any notice. Spike groaned. The long distance wasn’t doing his tiny legs any favours. “We could be going in circles,” he groaned, utterly oblivious to the fact that his moaning wasn’t helping. “Endless sand...nothin’ for miles but sand...and this rock...and this cactus.” As if to emphasise the point, he pulled a cactus out of his scales. “And this road,” he added. “This road...” Twilight perked up. “A road?” she asked. “Where there’s a road, there’s a...” Suddenly, the vista opened up before them. A vast port was glimpsed, with docking facilities for airships and conventional boats. It was built on a vast cliff, reaching up into the sky above them. A nearby sign read; ‘Welcome to Klugetown, population 3,000 2,999 2,998.’ “Whoa!” was all Spike said. “Cool!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “What is that?” Applejack asked. “It’s a city!” Pinkie cried. “We are doing it, you guys!” Rarity smiled. “Well, you know what they say,” she said. “Where there’s a city, there’s a spa!” “Who says that?” asked Rainbow. “Besides, this is a port, so it’s unlikely to have such facilities.” “How’d you know that?” “I grew up in Cloudsdale!” Rainbow exclaimed. “The biggest dockyard in Equestria. Hell, it’s where they build most of the fleet!” Applejack frowned. “Yeah, where the hay has the navy been?” she asked. Turning to Rarity, she commented, “’Case you forgot, we’re on a mission ta save Equestria.” “I can multitask!” Rarity coolly replied. Klugetown had seemed impressive at first, but it rapidly transpired to be a dump. The buildings were old and collapsing, the streets were narrow and dark, and the town was inhabited by strange fish creatures. Everywhere you looked, some sort of business was being done, mostly of the illegal variety. Well, illegal in Equestria at least, but this wasn’t Equestria. Birds squawked in nearby cages. The owner of the stand laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll let you go!” he laughed. “To the highest bidder!” added his fellow. Another vendor was selling his tat nearby. “Hey, Storm King bobbleheads!” he shouted. “You with the horn, ya sellin’?” another shouted at Twilight. Fluttershy shimmered away from the birdcages, just as a massive pile of barrels tumbled out of a cart and hit the floor. “Let me help you with that,” Twilight remarked, and put the barrels back into place. “No magic around my merchandise!” the vendor bellowed. “Sheesh, he’s rude,” Rainbow replied. The Main 6 didn’t know it, but a mysterious cat-like figure was watching them from the shadows, a red coat wrapped around him. “Very interesting,” he said to himself. Twilight looked over to the others. “OK,” she told the others. “We’ve got to stick together. Be careful who you talk to, and try to blend in-” A loud noise interrupted her. “CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?” bellowed Pinkie. Twilight groaned loudly, but not before Pinkie continued, “CAN ANYPONY TAKE US TO THE QUEEN OF THE HIPPOS?” “You want somethin’?” demanded the fish creature with the monstrous chin. “You gotta give somethin’!” “How about a grateful hug from a ponyfriend?” Pinkie offered. That didn’t work, so she continued with ‘How about this comb I’ve never used? A picture of my sister Maude? These breath mints? Seriously buddy, let me help you!” Twilight ran over. “Pinkie, you can't just take off!” she said angrily. Clenching her teeth, she added “and you don't need to announce to every..." “Relax Twilight, I got this!” Pinkie was about to launch into a reprise of the earlier song when suddenly the crowd intensified. “How much for the giant gecko?” “Who are you calling a gecko?” Spike snapped. “Spike isn’t for sale,” Twilight deadpanned. “I want that fancy purple hair! I’ll give ya two storm bucks for it!” Twilight froze. This place was under the Storm King’s control! Rarity spoke up before Twilight could. “Two storm bucks?” she screeched. “It’s worth more than that!” Before anypony could speak, the scene descended into pandemonium. “Gimme that pink one!” “I'll take the blue one!” “No! I want the blue one!” “I need that lizard!” “I'll take that picture of your sister!” “I want all seven for my collection! “ Suddenly, the cat fellow entered the scene. "Back up everyone,” he said smoothly, dropping in from a nearby rooftop. “Y’all are in some serious danger! Now,” he said, looking in their faces, “you didn’t touch any of them, did ya? Just look at those colours! You think that natural?” He paused and looked grave. “They’re infected with...pastelis colouritis.” Applejack looked incredulous. “Now you listen here fella, there ain’t-” The catman jammed his tail in her mouth to prevent her from speaking. “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” he reassured everyone. “As long as you're not covered in purple splotches, you’re fine.” Poking his tail in a paint pot, he covered one of the fish creatures in the spots, and stepped back. “Uh-oh.” “What do I do?” the fish creature shrieked. “Enjoy your last moments and don’t touch anyone. Because parts will fall off.” The fish ran off screaming, as did everyone else. “Well, all right,” said the catman. “You are awesome!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. He simply nodded. “And quite charming!” Rarity added. Spike turned purple with envy. “Capper’s the name, charming’s my game,” he smiled. “So...to the hippo’s then?” Pinkie laughed, but Twilight looked concerned. “I don’t think we should trust him,” she said. “We could definitely use a friend out here!” Pinkie laughed. “You know what,” Capper continued, “cotton candy here is right. And, if I do say so myself...” Presently, they arrived in Capper’s hideout. “Welcome, My Little Ponies, to My Little Manor.” “Is that another Hasbro franchise?” Pinkie asked. Everybody looked at her in confusion. “Ooh!” exclaimed Rarity. “A sort of a roco-hobo-Bohemian hodgepodge.” “Apologies for the state of my litter-box. I wasn’t expecting guests.” “So many fun breakables!” Pinkie laughed. “Whoa!” Rainbow said, reacting to a teapot. Applejack simply laughed. “Y’all sure you want the hippos?” Capper asked. “Yessiree!” Pinkie exclaimed. “The Queen of the hippos!” “Not the lions, the tigers, or the bears?” “Oh my!” Fluttershy chimed in. Pinkie looked over. “I’m supposed to do the 4th wall breaking around here!” A short while later, Capper set an old record playing. “Stop playin’ me!” he laughed. “A Sonic Rainboom? That’s not a thing!” “I’ll show ya!” Rainbow laughed. “No thanks, I’d rather not have it messin’ up my apartment.” Suddenly, Rarity used some thread to repair his coat, and add two buttons to it as well. “Whoa,” was all he said. “Here you go,” she said kindly. “I do apologise, if I were back home, I would do something truly fabulous!” “What’s the catch?” “Nothing. Consider it a thank you!” “We’ve been looking for the wrong queen!” Twilight called. “We need the Queen of the Hippogriffs, not Hippos!” “Oh, the Hippogriffs!” Capper exclaimed. “Trouble is with that, nobody knows where they are!” “Says here they are right on top of Mount Aris,” Twilight added. “That mountain out the window?” Pinkie asked. A faint blob of rock could be seen through the thick mist produced by the nearby swamp. Capper faultered. “Objects in windows are not always what they appear,” he said sheepishly. “Let’s go!” Twilight exclaimed. “Hey!” Capper called. “You need an airship to get to Mount Aris! I can get you that!” “We’ll be fine on our own,” Twilight answered. She opened the door...to see a most unpleasant figure on the other side.