Contrary to popular belief, changelings are not related to insects. Furthermore, they are not related to ponies, despite their equine form. While they cannot trace their evolution to any one particular species, changelings are most like the creatures of the sea. Their adaptive camouflage, while magic-based, is similar to the common cuttlefish (sepia officinalis) in its use. And their hard exoskeleton and opportunistic feeding nature seem to be copied directly from the coconut crab (birgus latro), better known as the 'robber crab.' As has been discovered with injured changeling prisoners-of-war, the species is capable of slowly regenerating lost limbs, not unlike the brown crab (cancer pagurus). Finally, their ability to appear fragile and harmless before landing a devastating strike is similar to the peacock mantis shrimp (odontodactylus scyllarus). However, this is not to say that they are dissimilar to mammals; it is possible for changelings to experience mammalian injuries, such as bruises and even hematomas. The changeling is also clearly of a higher intelligence than crustaceans, as they are known for their complex hierarchical structure and culture. When combined, all of these attributes create a genuinely fearsome creature, capable of immense physical feats, as well as incredible subterfuge. - Changelings: Their Physiology and Evolution by Works Cited
When Chrysalis finally awoke, her left eye was swollen nearly shut, she had a splitting headache, and couldn't move. She slowly blinked her right eye in an effort to focus on...nothing. She was alone in the darkness, save for an oil lamp above her head, illuminating her, the chair she was bound to, and not much else. Except...she wasn't alone, was she? The more the changeling came to, the more she could hear voices nearby. And although they were hushed, she could still make out snippets of conversation:
"...really, Rainbow Dash, did you have to hit her so hard?" came a posh voice.
"She's lucky I only hit her once!" answered a painfully familiar rasp.
"...I'll get some ice for her eye when she wakes up." offered a much softer voice.
"Well, it's going to be rather hard to find out where Twilight is with her unconscious, now isn't it?" retorted the posh voice.
The soft voice chimed in. "What if she doesn't tell us?"
"Then what Dash did'll feel like a love tap once I'm done with 'er." threatened a low, Southern drawl.
"H-hello? Who's there? You know, I can hear you!" Chrysalis said unsteadily, only to hear the voices suddenly silence. Then, out of the darkness came a well-known orange face. An angry, glaring orange face. The two stared at each for what seemed like a lifetime until the Earth pony broke the stillness of the scene.
"You're gonna tell us where Twilight is, and you're gonna tell us now." she stated in a quiet voice, her eyes narrowing on her target. The changeling leaned back as best she could and turned her head away.
"And just why would I do that?" she sneered. Before Applejack could answer, an enraged voice came out of the darkness.
"BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW HARD I CAN REALLY HIT!" The voice, combined with the memory of blue pain, caused Chrysalis to flinch.
"Do we really need to be so...violent?" asked a soft voice in the darkness.
"Yeah!" came the angry rasp. "It's the only thing her kind understands!"
"But there's a better way!" offered the soft voice, which seemed to be the only non-terrifying thing in the room at the moment.
"What? Love and tolerance? Not with that...THING there isn't!" retorted the scratchy, increasingly-angry voice. Chrysalis looked in the direction of the voices.
"Hey! I'm not a 'thing!' I'm a changeling Que-" her remark was cut off as the only visible pony in the room loudly stamped a hoof.
"You shut your trap right now!" she hissed, quickly bringing the royal's attention back to her. "Now here's what you're gonna do: you're gonna tell us what hole you have Twilight held in, then you're gonna show us how to get inside, then we're gonna save her, destroy your hive, and then you're goin' to jail to rot. You got that?!"
"Oh, come on! What is it with you ponies and your love of jail? That's all Sparkle would talk about! If you ask me, I think she has a fetish for it." Chrysalis groaned. Applejack narrowed her eyes even further and cocked her head.
"...the heck you just say?" Before the changeling could respond, the posh voice came back.
"Oh, prison fantasies are quite common, dear. It's really all about the dominant and submissive roles. In fact, I believe I have some-"
"Would you hush up?!" the orange pony snapped, turning to the voice in the darkness.
"Well, you asked, darling. Don't get upset with me because I answered."
Turning back to face her captive, Applejack's face grew more and more unamused as she glared at the changeling. "I mean, I could see her in that role, if you ask me." Chrysalis stated matter-of-factly. The Earth pony's glare became fiercer, and she moved her face to a hair's breadth away from the royal.
"I swear I'm gonna buck you straight to the moon if you don't tell us where Twilight is RIGHT. NOW." she threatened through gritted teeth. The changeling responded by leaning her head forward, towards Applejack's ear. Assuming she intended to whisper the answer to her, the Earth pony mirrored the movement...
...until she felt her captive attempt to inhale the entire Apple up a nostril.
"WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVIN' HAY WAS THAT?!" she yelped, jumping back. Chrysalis took on a thoughtful expression, and looked up.
"Huh. Apples. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I wonder if that's why it didn't work the first time? Well, there's also sweat and dirt, but I bet it's the ap-" she mused as the orange pony shuddered.
"WHY IN THE FU-"
"Language, dear!" interrupted the posh voice, only to have Applejack jerk her head back to the darkness.
"You saw that too, right?! What was that?!" she shouted before snapping her head back to face the royal. "WHO DOES THAT?!"
"She could have...oh, poo, what did Twilight call it? Ah, yes: 'olfactophilia.'" replied the ethereal posh voice. Applejack again turned to the darkness.
"It doesn't matter what it's called, it's freaky!"
"Oh, perish the thought! It's not even close to some of the things I've se-er, heard about!" the posh voice retorted.
"...ya'll are weird."
"Come on! She's just stalling! I say we beat it out of her now!" shouted the ever-angry rasp, before a delicate gasp was heard.
"Please, no more violence! There's a better way!" came the quiet-yet-firm voice.
"I dunno, every moment she's here, I wanna hit her a little more." the orange pony replied, turning back to face the Queen.
"Hey, speaking of unneeded beatings, do I have a black eye?" Chrysalis asked. "Because I can't really see out of my left eye, and it hurts a lot, so I'm guessing I have a black eye."
"Oh! Yes, we meant to give this to you earlier. Sorry." Answered the posh voice as an ice pack was floated over and strapped around her head, resting on the swollen area.
"Don't apologize to her! She deserved it!" replied the painfully familiar voice.
"Just because she's captured our best friend doesn't mean that you can just hit her!" argued the posh voice.
"It wasn't just that! She was also staring at my butt! I don't even let stallions I like get away with that!" the raspy voice groaned.
"Now wait a minute - are you honestly saying that I can't admire a well-toned booty? Or talk about how nice it is?" Chrysalis interjected indignantly, "You know, you ponies need to learn how to take a compliment!"
"OKAY, THAT'S IT! SHE DIES NOW!" shrieked the enraged rasp. The was a sound of scuffling in the darkness. "Let me go! She deserves it!"
"No!" grunted the posh voice, "She can't tell us where Twilight is if she's unconscious!"
"I'm not going to knock her out! I'm going to KILL HER!" Applejack squinted into the darkness, sighed, and shook her head.
"You know, speaking of excellent butts, Sparkle sure picked a winner with you, you know that?" the changeling said with a wink. The Earth pony whipped her head back around.
"You're about as sharp as bowl of mashed potatoes, ain'tcha?" she asked.
"...huh?"
"I'm sayin' you keep jawin' like that, and you're gonna end up with another shiner, you got that?" she threatened, pawing at the ground.
"Okay, I can barely understand a word you're saying. Do your parents talk like that, too?" Chrysalis asked, cocking her head to one side. "Wait. Do you even HAVE real parents? Or were they related? Ya know, before they made you. Because you're not really doing anything to disprove the whole 'sister-marries-brother' stereotype, you know? I mean, I always thought that was a myth, but I'm beginning to wonder if your sister is also your mom and your cousin. I mean, maybe that's why you just can't take the hint from Sparkle. That, or your brother is just too pretty to look away from." Applejack's breath was becoming slow and heavy, and she began grinding her teeth.
"...ya'll better shut your trap or you're gonna regret it." Chrysalis responded by shrugging her shoulders.
"Look, I'm just saying: maybe you should learn to speak from someone else who isn't your brother-father." At that comment, the orange pony began trembling and her muscles flexed.
"'Shy?" she asked through gritted teeth. A light, dainty murmur answered.
"Take over for a sec." she said, her face beet-red.
"Oh! Um, okay." There was still more scuffling in the darkness when the posh voice spoke up.
"...and leave me with an insane pony on my hooves?!" Just before Applejack opened a large door, she turned around with a huff.
"You're a dang unicorn, Rare! Use your horn!" The 'Rare' voice laughed sheepishly, and suddenly the scuffling stopped. As a bright light blinded the bound changeling, she saw a new shape step out of the shadows: a yellow pegasus with a pink mane. A recognizable one, now that she thought about it.
"Okay!" she quietly shouted. "You're going to tell us where our friend Twilight is, please!"
"Hey, wait a minute - I know you!" Chrysalis exclaimed. Before the pegasus could respond, she clicked her tongue. "That's right! You're that supermodel?! Oh, shoot...what was your name...Buttershine? No...wait! Fluttershy, right?!" The question seemed to catch the yellow pony off-guard.
"Oh! Um, yes, I am. And I was. For a while." A giddy smile spread across the changeling's face.
"Ha! And the other changelings said I didn't know what I was talking about!" she said to herself, before refocusing on her new interrogator. "Oh my gosh, I have ALL your magazine spreads! Even the illegal ones!" she said, squealing at the end.
"Oh. Um, that's neat. But you need to te-" the pegasus continued.
"Seriously, you were SO. HOT. with those black lowlights in your mane! You should have kept them!" she gushed, leaning forward.
"Um, I appreciate your compliment, but we really nee-" the meek pony replied, as she shifted uncomfortably from side to side.
"No, you don't get it! The first time I saw those pictures, I ended up having to throw away my bedsheets the next day! They were that grody, if you know what I mean." the changeling added, waggling her eyebrows. Fluttershy gasped, then daintily stomped a hoof.
"That is enough!" she quietly shouted. "I do not want to know about that, and it's not something you say in public!" Chrysalis scoffed.
"Hmph. And other changelings think that I'm a prude. Try to understand: I'm telling you how hot you used to look! It's a nice thing I'm doing!" The pegasus replied by pursing her lips and scrunching her nose in anger, before taking a breath.
"Regardless of your intentions, that's still very inappropriate! And it's not why you're here! You're here so we can find out where you're keeping Twilight!" she said as forcefully as she could. The changeling leaned back for a moment before her face took on a lecherous expression.
"...or else what? Hmm? Are you going to 'get rough' with me?" she said, giving her captor a once-over. Fluttershy only responded with a confused look. "Mmm...yeah. I wouldn't mind it. Maybe you could whip me a little? I bet that'd be so hot." she continued, her voice becoming breathier with each syllable. "Oh! Please tell me you'd wear a leather bodysuit! That would just...unf!"
"L-leather...from an animal?" came a quiet, shuddering voice. "That's awful!" Either Chrysalis didn't hear her, or she didn't care, as she continued.
"Too bad you're not a princess, because, just...wow. I bet doing it with you would be mind-blowing! Maybe even do it on a bear-skin rug at some cabin in the woods..." she added, biting her lower lip with a moan. Tears were welling in the pegasus' eyes as she shut them. Shaking her head in a vain attempt to get the images out of her head, she turned to the darkness.
"R-Rarity? Um. I'll be right back." she said, stepping back into the darkness.
"Why, darling? Where are you going?" the posh voice responded.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. I promise I'll be quick." answered the timid pegasus.
"Please hurry, dear. I do still have my hooves full with a ballistic pegasus, after all." And with that, a white unicorn appeared under the lamplight, causing Chrysalis to squint her good eye at her.
"Hmm...you know, I would say you look familiar, but I just can't place a name with your face." Rarity began to respond, only to be cut off by her captive. "...or a face with your face, really." The pony responded with an indignant huff.
"As I was going to say, before I was RUDELY interrupted, my name is R-"
"No, really. You are easily the most generic, forgettable-looking pony I've ever seen in my entire life." the changeling remarked with a sneer. "Nothing stands out about you. If you weren't here, I'd probably have already forgotten about you." Taking on a look of disgust, Rarity attempted to speak again, only to be cut off for a third time. "Look, do us all a favor. The next time you go out? Try. Just...try. Put on some makeup, or do up your mane. Do SOMETHING." she added. "Because when you're standing next to Fluttershy? You know, a former supermodel? Yeah, you're gonna fall into the backgr-" This time, it was Chrysalis' turn to be cut off.
"OKAY, MISS I-THINK-THAT-A-RANDOM-STRAND-OF-MANE-IN-MY-FACE-IS-STILL-A-FASHIONABLE-THING, I do happen to prepare my mane! And my tail! And makeup! Every day! Even on the days I stay in to work!" she shouted at her captive, who only snorted.
"...really? Because if that's the case, you need to try harder. Or try something else. Because it's clearly not working." the royal remarked with a smirk.
"I! You!" Rarity sputtered. "Oooohhhh, you're just trying to get under my skin, like you did all the others, aren't you?! Well, it won't work, missy!"
"Get under your skin?" Chrysalis asked. "Yeah right. I'm just trying to help you out. And by the way? My look is iconic. Ponies remember me. So maybe you should actually listen to my advice." she smugly replied. Before the increasingly angry unicorn could respond, a door could be heard opening and closing, followed by a screeching sound of metal and wood.
"I'm back, everypony." came a southern drawl. "Hey Rare? Do me a favor and remind me to get a new plow the next time I go into town." she requested, stepping back into the light. "The bug give up where Twi's at?"
"No, all she's managed to do is...ruffle our feathers. Both real and imagined." the white pony mentioned, glaring at Chrysalis.
"Why do you need a new plow?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. Applejack turned her attention to the changeling.
"Shut up." she hissed, bringing herself nose-to-nose with the royal. "Now no more dilly-dallying. You tell us where Twi is now, or so help me Celestia I will unleash Dash on you. And I'll help this time." the Earth pony seethed, only for Chrysalis' eyebrows to raise in response.
"Oh ho ho! I've always wanted to try a threes-" she chuckled out, before the orange mare in front of her abruptly reared back, and brought her front hooves crashing down. The ground shook, and small cracks spidered out in the earth around them. The act quickly shut the changeling up.
"LAST CHANCE!" Applejack bellowed. "TELL ME WHERE SHE'S AT, OR I WILL TEAR YOUR DAGGONE WINGS OFF! SLOWLY! PAINFULLY!"
"I...I..." Chrysalis stammered out.
"Do it, AJ! Break her in half!"
"No, Applejack! Don't let her get inside your head! Please! She's just trying to...to rile you up!"
As the farmpony's eyes attempted to bore a hole through the Queen's skull, any smugness or confidence Chrysalis may have had dried up from the outburst. The two stared at each other, daring the other to blink. However, the moment never arrived, as a quiet yet newly confident voice interrupted the scene.
"I'm back, everypony!"
"Thank goodness! Fluttershy! Please, calm Applejack down! I think she's ready to tear Chrysalis limb from limb!" At that moment, the yellow pegasus entered back into the light, and placed a hoof on the farmpony's shoulder. It seemed to break her out of the intense moment, and her head snapped to see where the contact had come from.
"Applejack, please don't hurt her; I promised you there was a better way, and I have it here." Fluttershy said, lifting up a small, nondescript paper bag. Still coming down from her anger, the orange pony stared at the bag.
"Whassat?" she asked.
"Whenever Angel bunny has done something wrong, and 'The Stare' won't work, I use this instead." she answered.
"What, a carrot bribe or somethin'?" Applejack snorted. "I don't think that's gonna work here, Fluttershy." The timid pegasus shook her head and giggled slightly, before reaching into the bag.
"No, Applejack, it's not a carrot bribe. It's sodium thiopental." she said, pulling out a small glass vial. The Earth pony scrunched her nose in confusion.
"Sodium thio-what?" she asked.
"Sodium thiopental. It's a chemical that makes creatures feel like they've had too much hard cider, but without needing to drink it. Whenever I give some to Angel, he'll admit to whatever it is he's done in a few minutes." she replied, giving a soft, proud smile.
"Huh. No kiddin'." Applejack replied, chewing on her cheek. "And you think it'll work on the big ugly bug here?" Fluttershy nodded as she reached back into the bag.
"Hey! Racist much?" Chrysalis remarked, trying to see past the orange pony. "Also, I'd like to point out that I've only been drunk once, and I really didn't like it."
Ignoring the changeling, Fluttershy continued. "I think it's worth a shot, at least. If it works on Angel bunny, then maybe it will work on Queen Chrysalis." Applejack nodded, before turning back to glare at her captive.
"Alright, sugarcube. But if it doesn't work, we beat 'er black and blue."
"She's already black!" came the angry rasp.
"More of an onyx, dear."
"Hush up! We'll beat her 'till she talks, okay?!" shouted the Earth pony into the darkness, before turning back to her pegasus friend. "So how does this stuff work, anyway? Does she just drink it? 'Cuz that doesn't look like a lot." The yellow pony shook her head, before finally removing another item from the bag.
"No, we inject it." she answered matter-of-factly, pulling out a long syringe and needle.
"WHOA WHOA WHOA! NO INJECTIONS! NOT COOL, DUDE! NOT COOL!" screamed the captive changeling as she leaned as far away as she could from the horrible objects as she could. Applejack turned around with a glare.
"Hush up, or we'll beat you whether this stuff works or not." she threatened through gritted teeth. Chrysalis could only stare at the glint of the needle with increasingly widening eyes.
"No, I'm serious! I have this thing about needles! And the stuff in them!" she exclaimed, her voice beginning to warble from fear.
"Now, I'm not sure of how much to put in here, since I've only ever done to this to Angel bunny a few times...maybe a hundred milliliters?" Fluttershy asked to nopony in particular. "I'd hate to overdose it."
"Then let's just not do it, then! How does that sound?!" Chrysalis exclaimed, the panic beginning to overtake her voice.
"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, darling. It's just a little prick, and then it's all over with!" came the posh voice, causing the changeling to stare into the darkness.
"'Just a little prick?!'" she shouted. "Look at that thing! It's a pipe! A fricken' pipe! And this twisted psychopath is going to impale me with it!" Chrysalis turned her head to stare back at the needle, her breathing getting closer and closer to hyperventilating.
"Uh, Fluttershy, speakin' of stabbin' her with it, where exactly are you going to do the injection? Won't the needle break on her, uh, exoskin or whatever?" Applejack asked, reading the contents of the vial.
"Her exoskeleton." Fluttershy answered. "And yes, it would. But we're not going to try her exoskeleton." The comment seemed to slightly calm the changeling down, so her breathing was less hyperventilating and more of a panicked staccato. "No, see the little gaps in her chitin?" the pegasus asked, gesturing towards the changeling's right foreleg, "We'll inject there, where the flesh is much thinner and weaker."
"Ooooohhhhh, I'm in a nightmare. It's official. The hot blue one knocked me out, and this is just a horrible dream. This isn't real! Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup-" Chrysalis whimpered, shutting her eyes and willing herself to wake from the terrible nightmare she seemed to be in.
"I promise it won't even hurt." came the formerly harmless-sounding voice. The Queen's eyes flashed open to glare at her torturer.
"Says you! How do you even know this much about changeling anatomy?! What, do you secretly hunt us and kill us in your spare time?" she asked accusingly. The question seemed to pierce the pegasus' proud facade.
"W-what? No! That's awful!" she said with a gasp. "I would never do such a thing! No, I take care of animals, great and small!" she said, the pride returning to her stance. "And I was talking to the veterinarian in town a few days ago, and he said that changeling anatomy is similar to crustacean anatomy. And this is how I give crabs and lobsters their shots!" The answer did nothing to calm Chrysalis down. If anything, it caused her hyperventilating to return.
"No, I take it back; I'm not really in a nightmare, I'm in a horror story. I thought I was in some sexy romp, but it turns out I'm just the teenager who gets brutally tortured and murdered by some psycho doctor while trying to get laid!" she muttered, again attempting to will herself away from the horrifying situation.
"Alright, we'll give ya one last chance before we let Fluttershy stick ya: tell us where Twi is, and this can all be over." Applejack offered. Chrysalis stared at the pony, then the needle, then back to the pony.
...if I tell them...they'll find the hive! And Mom! And SPARKLE! And if they free Sparkle, then I won't EVER get laid! "...I...I just can't." The earth pony clicked her tongue.
"Alright then. Jab 'er, 'Shy." Chrysalis jammed her eyes shut, and began whimpering prayers to any deity that would deign to listen. Fluttershy looked over the changeling's foreleg, before finding a large enough gap. She gingerly pushed the needle in, and gently pushed the plunger down, emptying the syringe. Pulling it back out, she removed the needle, retrieved a cork from the bag, and stabbed it into it.
"...you can do it any time, you sadist." came a pathetic voice, causing Fluttershy to giggle in response.
"I already did!" she answered. "See?" she said, holding up the empty syringe. The changeling's eyes flashed open, staring at the accursed object.
"You...you did?" she asked, "...huh. I didn't feel a thing."
Fluttershy hummed in response as she replaced all the items to her bag. "See? Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Chrysalis shook her head. "Now why don't you tell us where Twilight is, and you'll never have to experience that again. I promise." The Queen opened her mouth to refuse again when she stopped. Mouth agape, she could feel the fluid entering her system. Her good eye glazed over, and she took on a dreamy expression.
"I...I'm not going to....um...wow. I can, uh...feel it. Hoo hoo hoooo buddy! WOW can I feel it!" the changeling said with a lidded eye. Turning to face Applejack, she gave as seductive a smile as she could muster. "Hey, you know...I think I get why she gets all hot and bothered at your scent. The whole apple thing? And the sweat? And the dirt? I get it now! It's...intoxicating..." she slurred. The Earth pony raised an eyebrow as she stepped back.
"Fluttershyyyy...what did you give her again?" she uneasily asked.
"S-sodium thiopental!" the pegasus desperately answered, re-checking the vial to make sure she had grabbed the correct one.
"Hey, c'mon...don't go away...I need to smell more of you..." purred the drunken Queen.
"Alright...I thought she was a creep before, but this is so much worse!" the farmpony remarked, continuing to step back into the darkness.
"Okay, we tried it Fluttershy's way! I say we try it MY way!" shouted the angry rasp. "AJ and I beat the information outta her!"
"Ya know what? You can. I don't think I wanna touch her right now..." answered the Earth pony, taking another step back.
"Fine by me!" answered the ethereal voice. "Hey, uh Rarity? You mind?" A split-second later, a light blue pegasus came soaring in out of the darkness, and delivered an ear-piercing smack across Chrysalis' face.
"Oh ho ho ho! That was fun! Do it again!" the changeling begged. Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Dash reared back and smacked her again, this time harder. "Mmmmmmmmm....again!" Chrysalis moaned. Growling in frustration, the pegasus turned around, and bucked the changeling directly in the barrel. "Oooooohhhhh....thank you ma'am! May I have another?" she wheezed. Dash looked down at her hooves before looking back at her captive.
"Um...you know, this isn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be." she remarked.
"I disagree!" Chrysalis purred.
"Yeah...I'm gonna stop now." the pegasus said uneasily, withdrawing her hoof. Before the Queen could respond, the setting sun poured into the area, blinding the ponies.
"Uh, Applejack?" came a tiny southern voice.
"APPLEBLOOM! COVER YOUR EYES!" the orange pony screamed. The filly did as she was told, but continued.
"Applejack, ya'll got visitors."
"I don't care!" she shouted, "Just tell 'em I'm busy and to go away!"
"But...it's the Princesses." the little Apple responded, still covering her eyes.
"WHO?!" the orange mare shrieked. "Oh, horseapples! Okay 'Bloom! S-stall 'em! Tell 'em I'll be out in a just a sec!" The filly did as she was told as the barn door closed. "Alright, everypony! Get rid of the sodium whatever and light some lamps! Rarity, find a place to hide Chrysalis, and I'll see what they want!"
"Why don't we just tell them that we have her?" asked Fluttershy, "Maybe they can get her to tell us where Twilight is."
"No!" Applejack shouted. "Alright, maybe later, but not now! Not when she's like...like that!" she said, gesturing towards the Queen. "Look, if they ask, we ain't seen hide nor hair of her, and we were planning a rescue mission for Twi!" The other ponies did as they were told, lighting lamps, and hiding the captive royal. The farmpony took a few deep breaths as she approached the barn door. Alright...alright...you're awful at lyin', but maybe you can get away with it if it's just a little one. They might not know, as long as I don't gotta keep lying. Taking one last breath, she cracked the door open, and poked her head outside. Sure enough, Applebloom was right: both Princesses Celestia and Luna were patiently standing outside. "Well, howdy Princesses! Um...to what do I owe this, uh, honor?" she squeaked out.
"We understand you've captured Queen Chrysalis and are currently attempting to interrogate her." Luna answered. Applejack's eyes shrunk to pinpricks.
"I...uh...I, uh, I don't know what you, uh, you mean!" she fumfered out. "We're, uh, we're just trying to figure out where to look for Twi!" The sisters shared a look.
"Applejack, we know she's in there." Celestia stated. "To be honest, we could hear her moans halfway to Canterlot."
"Also, you weren't exactly quiet in issuing your orders to your friends, either." added Luna. The comments caused the Earth pony to deflate on the spot.
"...oh. Okay. C'mon in." she said, slowly opening the barn door. The two sisters walked inside, surveying the area. It was musty, and filled with bales of hay and farming equipment. In one corner was a mangled piece of metal, roughly the size of a plow. In the opposite corner sat the other ponies, poring over a map of Equestria. As Celestia neared, she quietly cleared her throat.
"Hello, my little ponies! What are you up to?" she asked in as innocent a tone as possible. Rarity looked up from the map first.
"Oh! Princess Celestia! We didn't realize you were here!" she said, waving herself with a hoof.
"I'm sure." the royal responded with a tight-lipped smile. Dash raised her head from the map, a bead of sweat running down between her eyes.
"Heh-heh, uh, nope!" she uncomfortably laughed out. "We were just trying to figure out where that big ugly bug may have taken Twilight off to!"
"Rainbow Dash." said Luna, cantering over to the group. "Your map is upside down." The comment seemed to spook the group, as Rarity forced an attempt at casual laughter.
"Oh! A-hah! Maybe that's why it was taking us so long! Ha ha! Silly us!" the unicorn replied, turning the map the correct away around.
"Give it up, girls, they know already." Applejack sighed dejectedly. They let out a collective sigh of relief as the farmpony joined them.
"Oh, thank goodness!" cried Fluttershy, "I always feel so awful when I have to lie!"
"We know! Who do you think always dumps her numerous 'forgive me Celestia for I have sinned' letters on?! And I swear, yours always manage to be the most numerous of the bunch..." Luna muttered out, earning an angry look from her sister.
Attempting to put the conversation back on track, Applejack cleared her throat. "Where is the dumb bug anyway?"
"Oh, Rarity and I just hid her under a pile of hay." Dash replied, gesturing behind her.
"Speaking of hay, does anyone want to have a roll in it with me? I'm not picky!" came a somewhat seductive, if muffled, voice.
"...excuse me, what did she just say?" asked the elder Princess, raising a concerned eyebrow.
"I believe she's referring to a euphemism for recreational sex." Luna answered with a smirk, only for her sister's left eye to twitch.
"Yes...I got that. I was just making sure that it was what she said." she replied with a strained voice, staring at her sister.
"She did."
Lifting a hoof to the bridge of her snout, the Princess of the Sun issue a small prayer for patience. "Look, just...somepony get her out of there already so WE can question her." As Rarity rolled up the map, the two pegasi removed the battered, bruised, and swollen captive Queen, placing her and her chair in an upright position. As she shook her head to remove the straw from her mane, she finally saw who was standing in front of her.
"Oh ho ho ho!" she chuckled lustfully, "TWO Princesses at once?! I wouldn't mind that! At! All!" The sisters stepped back in shock. "And Celly? Even with your...unique tastes? Yeah. I'm willing to try anything once!"
"What's wrong with her?!" the Princess of the Night demanded with a sneer, as her sister moved forward, inspecting the changeling.
"I'm not exactly sure, but if experience proves anything, I'd say she's been dosed with sodium thiopental." she remarked off-handedly, causing the ponies around her to gasp at once.
"Um...how can you tell, Princess?" Applejack asked as casually as she could. Still staring at Chrysalis, the Princess continued.
"Well, it's been a while since I picked up a xenobiology book, but I certainly remember what happens when you give a changeling a hefty dose of the stuff." she said, before turning back to face her body politic. "From a medical standpoint, it causes a Queen's body to release massive amounts of phenethylamine, endorphins, endocannabinoids, and oxytocin."
"Uh...your Highness, with all due respect, I didn't understand a lick of that." the farmpony said, only briefly making eye contact.
"In layponies' terms, she's horny beyond all rational thought and instinct right now." There was an audible 'click' as all four ponies' jaws dropped in unison. Ignoring the sight, Celestia continued. "Out of curiousity, who's bright idea was it to give Chrysalis such a strong changeling aphrodisiac? Pinkie Pie? Or Starlight? Both seem to be within their...experience and skill set."
Regaining her faculties first, Applejack took off her hat in an attempt to hide her shame. "No, Princess. Truth be told, we didn't think she would be good for this kind of thing. When we told her we had the ugly bug, she mentioned something about a 'blanket party,' and I figured that a party was the last thing that...creature...deserved. So we had her and Starlight go and find King Thorax. Figured maybe he'd have some idea on how to get inside her head."
"Pinkie is adept at offering blanket parties, you say?" Luna asked thoughtfully. "We'll have to keep that in mind..."
"Hey, I'm up for any kind of party you ponies are offering..." Chrysalis added, attempting a seductive wink, only to fail miserably. Celestia shuddered at the thought before turning back to the orange mare in front of her.
"So if it wasn't Pinkie Pie or Starlight, who thought it would be a good idea to get the Queen of the changelings all hot and bothered?" she asked, glaring at the rest of the group in front of her. Each pony looked away. Each pony, at least, except for Fluttershy, who trembled in place, before bursting into tears.
"OH I'M SO SORRY PRINCESS CELESTIA AND PRINCESS LUNA!" she wailed, throwing herself at their hooves. "I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD DO THAT! HONEST!" The act only caused the elder Princess to look skyward and sigh.
"...great. Just great. Now I'm going to get a million letters about this now..." she muttered, as Chrysalis looked on with a lecherous grin.
"Yes...yes...that's it...now kiss their hooves...use your tongue...that's it...good girl..." she said, licking her lips. As the ponies attempted to remove their groveling friend from the Royal Hooves, three sets of eyes looked on through a hole in the barn's wall.
"Hey, girls?"
"Yeah, Applebloom?" answered a squeaky voice.
"I don't think I wanna grow up anymore."
"Yeah." answered a tomboyish tone. "Grown-ups are weird."
"So, ya think I should still give Applejack this letter from the Princesses now that they're here?"