Dim light filled the building with a modest level of mystique that gave its patrons a sense of ease. The smells of coffee and pipe smoke filled the air as servers navigated through the sea of seats to deliver their orders. One table in the corner of the room housed two Unicorn mares, both of great reputation in one form or another. One had a light purple coat with her mane and tail colored a darker shade with a light blue streak running through both. She was dressed in a white dress shirt and black business skirt. Her company was light blue with a sliver mane and tail, her purple suit hidden beneath a matching cape covered with yellow and blue stars and moons. Resting safely on her head just behind her horn was a purple wizard hat with matching stars and moons. The mare dressed in purple looked bored while her friend seemed stressed as she slowly turned a stirring stick in her cup.
"I'm worried about her," Starlight sighed over her cup of coffee.
"Trixie's telling you," Trixie grimaced over her iced coffee. "You're over thinking things. Sparkle's always been a little odd."
"Trixie," she deadpanned. "I caught her having a full on conversation with herself yesterday."
"So? Plenty of ponies talk to themselves from time to time."
"A. Full. Conversation," Starlight intoned, patients with her friend growing thin. "And it's not just "from time to time" either. She's been doing it for the past three weeks! I think the stress from her princess work and running the school is starting to get to her."
"Trixie sees," she sighed. "Perhaps an intervention is in order. When should Trixie get the blow darts and rope?"
"Okay, first, why do you have blow darts?" she asked, brows raised. "And second, why do you think you'll need them?"
"Trixie has lived an...interesting life before we became friends. And have you tried getting that work-a-holic to stop without some sort of drug?"
"I don't think I want to know," Starlight groaned shaking her head. "But an intervention would probably be a good idea. Think you can stop by tomorrow to help?"
"Certainly," she smiled. "That should be plenty of time for Trixie to work on her aim."
"No darts!"
***
As the two mares navigated the seemingly ever-changing confines of The Castle of Friendship, a tense silence surrounded them. It almost felt like the halls were watching them, holding their breaths at the prospect of something bad happening soon. In spite of Starlight's insistence, Trixie had a bamboo blowgun hidden under her cape with ten darts coated in enough tranquilizer to drop twelve bull elephants. It was meant as a last resort if the Alicorn really was at the end of her rope. While her trusty weapon filled her with some confidence something about her surroundings made her a little nervous, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. It wasn't until they were half way to Twilight's study that she figured it out.
"Starlight," Trixie whispered. "Did Sparkle hire any servants or a cleaning crew recently?"
"No," she replied, equally quiet and raising a brow. "Why?"
"The whole castle's super clean," she said, sweeping her hand through the hallway to prove her point. "And it wasn't just this hall. Trixie has yet to see a single bit of dirt the whole time she's been here. Not even a spider web or dust bunny. Trixie knows that dragon of her's is a good cleaner, but even he is just one creature. There's no way he and Sparkle could do such a thorough job, even on their best days."
Starlight hadn't given it much thought before, but it was true. The whole castle's interior seemed to glisten like a freshly polished gem, a feat that would've taken an entire army of maids hours to pull off. Yet, it looked as if the crystal structure had only just been cleaned today with not a single soul in sight.
Chalk that up as another mystery of this place, she thought with a role of her eyes.
"Let's worry about that later. Right now we need to focus on Twilight."
"Right," Trixie nodded as she followed her friend through the castle.
The silence seemed to get even heavier as they closed in on Twilight's study. It really felt like something was watching them as they roamed the halls. Not helping was how they swore that they could see something moving out the corner of their eyes. It felt like they were back in the Changeling hive when Chrysalis was still in charge, where they felt like they were intruding on some kind of nest. The nest of what was what had them both on high alert. As a result, the two mares were a bundle of nerves when they reached Twilight's study. Sure enough, they could hear a one-sided conversation coming from the room.
"So how does that spell work?"
A five minute pause followed the question in which the scribbling of a quill on paper could be heard.
"Fascinating. I never would've thought to apply a spell matrix so simple for such an intricate process. But what happens if the mana link destabilizes?"
Another pause, only this time Twilight wasn't writing anything. It was at this point that Starlight was able to nudge the door open enough to let them look inside. They watched as Twilight sat at a table, quill and papers set in front of her as she stared at the empty space across the table from her. What was unnerving for the pair was how she would occasionally nod as if she was agreeing with someone before writing something down. There was something else that grabbed Trixie's attention about the situation that was out of place. Instead of her usual attire, The Princess of Friendship was dressed in a slim fitting open-back sleeveless navy blue dress. A simple outfit, but effective enough to showcase her curves and modest bust without being too provocative
"Say, Starlight," she whispered. "Does Sparkle always dress so formally when she's doing research?"
"No," she frowned. "That's another thing she started doing recently."
A light chuckle from Twilight halted any further questions Trixie had as she went back to observing her.
"Of course you'd say that," she smiled, still staring at the empty space in front of her. "But seriously, thank you. You've been a huge help these last couple of days. Think maybe I could...return the favor?"
A light blush decorated her muzzle as she asked , only for it to suddenly spread to the rest of her head a second later.
"Th-Th-That's not what I meant and you know it!" she snapped, tone a strange mix of anger and embarrassment. "I meant something like a date or something."
Another long pause, then Twilight looked away from the empty space she was talking to and pouted.
"Jerk."
"Okay," Trixie whispered, eyes still locked on the deranged Alicorn as she reached into her cape for her blowgun. "Trixie believes you. Now, you walk in there and distract her while Trixie lines up the perfect shot. You got that Starlight?"
No response.
"Starlight?"
She turned to face her friend only to be met with a look of pure terror.
"S-Starlight?"
With a shaky hand, she pointed at something behind the azure magician. With a gulp, she turned around. At first, all she saw was a gray wall of concrete that she was sure wasn't there a minute ago. Then she saw that the wall wasn't quite as solid as she thought it was. It quivered and writhed as multiple slits formed across its surface that opened into hundreds of red eyes with yellow pupils. Trixie looked up and saw that the massive gray blob towered above her all the way to the castle's hundred and fifty foot tall ceiling. Fighting past her fear, she reached for something in her cape. That was as far as she got before the gray monster pounced.
***
This isn't as bad as I thought it would be, Twilight thought as she took literal note of her houseguest's lecture. While she still had her reservations about accepting the Outer God as her lover, she was more than willing to accept his good will. For the past three weeks she had been letting him teach her how to control her newly acquired abilities, especially her Sight as he called it. Now she could tap into it at will and only see things that she truly wanted to see instead of looking into random dimensions at the drop of a hat. She also found that certain other spells came more easily to her, such as shapeshifting and illusions in addition to dimension hopping and force projection. Her magic reserves seemed to have also increased exponentially, as even casting some of her most complex spells didn't even wind her as much as they use to.
She also found that Nyarlethotep was starting to grow on her recently.
Now that she was actually giving him a chance, she found that the Outer God was a lot of fun to be around. His sharp wit and clever speech never failed to put a smile on her face when she was down or frustrated with something. In addition, he was a massive source of knowledge both traditionally and magically. For once, she didn't have to "dumb down" her speech to make it easier for somepony to understand her, a fact that she was ashamed to admit had always been a bit of a peeve for her since she moved to Ponyville from Canterlot. Though, if she had to complain about any part of her new relationship with Nyarlethotep, it was that he was a bit of a flirt. He didn't do it with other mares, but the Outer God would occasionally through in some good natured teasing at her expense. It was usually about how he apparently thought she was cute when she was neck-deep in her research or reading a new book just for kicks. He seemed to think she was especially adorable when he was teaching her how to use her new abilities, often making playful comments about how she was a "good student" and if she kept it up he'd "reward" her. She knew it was just to get a rise out of her, but that didn't stop her from blushing at the implications. It didn't help that he took the liberty of changing her entire wardrobe without her permission. While the dresses were beautiful, she didn't think she deserved them, but he was adamant that she should wear them.
"You are a Queen of the Cosmos," he stated when she demanded that he return her usual attire. "You deserve to dress the part just as much as the power you wield. Besides, you're too beautiful to hide behind such drab clothing."
Her face still burned red hot when she thought about that moment. It wasn't often that somepony told her that she was beautiful, but for somepony to tell her so so casually, as if it was an undeniable fact made her heart race.
As she sat in her study, listening to Nyarlethotep explain the intricacies of transdimensional magic and the shortcuts one could take to make the process less complicated, she found herself growing a bit excited by the prospect of going on a date with him.
How do you even date somepony like him? Go to a movie? An expensive restaurant? Maybe I should ask Rarity for advice later.
A blood curdling scream snapped her out of her musings and ripped her attention towards the door.
"What the hay?" she exclaimed as she jumped to her hooves.
Said doors burst open as a massive and very irritated Shoggoth slithered into the room, two terrified mare's struggling in his coils.
"Unhand Trixie, you, you, Neighsian fetish monster!" Trixie yelled, pounding on the nearest piece of Telzelec she could reach.
A flurry of annoyed clicks was the only response she got before he tossed her to the floor in front of Twilight. As she groaned on the floor, a cluster of eyes turned towards a paralyzed Starlight as she silently prayed that he wasn't hungry.
"Telzelec," Twilight frowned as she approached the glaring mass of gray slime. "Put her down."
Another cluster of eyes positioned themselves towards Twilight, followed by a barrage of clicking noises.
"Now I know you're joking," she said with a raised brow. "Do you really think she could hurt me with such a weak weapon? Besides, where would Trixie even get a blow gun?"
"Zebrafirca," Trixie groaned as she staggered to her hooves.
Twilight's jaw dropped in shock only for it to be replaced with a glare.
"Why do you have a blow gun?"
"Well," she huffed, brushing dust off of her top. "If you must know. Starlight came to Trixie worried about your mental health. So, Trixie decided to lend her a hand in her endeavor to get you the help you so desperately need."
"And the blow gun?" she asked, nonplused.
"Trixie has no excuses," she said face completely strait. "It was all Starlight's idea."
"WHAT!?" Starlight exclaimed, suddenly forgetting that she was in the grasp of a possibly dangerous alien creature. "The blow gun was your idea! I just wanted to host an intervention!"
"An intervention?" Twilight asked. "For what?"
With that, Starlight explained what had her so worried about her friend and mentor's sanity for the past few weeks. The long conversations in empty rooms being the vanguard of said army of concerns. it was around that point that Telzelec had set Starlight back on the ground. The fact that he did so much gentler than he had with her wasn't missed by Trixie. Twilight let out a weary groan as she took in what she was told. It probably did look rather odd to someone looking in from the outside in. It also showed that she wasn't quite as in control of her Sight as she thought she was.
"Nyarlethotep," she sighed as she turned to the currently fourth dimension walking Outer God. "Come out of there."
With a laugh, he "stepped" out of his hiding place, seeming to appear out of thin air in the space Twilight had been talking to.
"Ladies," he winked as he took his place at Twilight's side.
"Who's that?" Starlight asked, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.
"Starlight, Trixie, this is Nyarlethotep, my-"
"Pleasure slave," he interrupted, face completely straight.
All three mares froze as they tried to process that. While Twilight's mind seemed to freeze like an old dell computer, Starlight looked like she was on the verge of over heating. Trixie was the first to recover from the shock.
"DAMN IT! Now Trixie owes Maud fifty bits!"
That snapped the other two mares out of their own shock.
"What?" Starlight stammered, ignoring her friend's rant about how her bets on Twilight's love life was the safest one she heard of in years.
"Yes," he sighed, looking at the ground in shame. "The second she found me, she forced me into becoming an Alicorn so I could pleasure her for all of eternity. She constantly drags me to her bed as a means of dealing with her unending libido. The spirit is willing, but the flesh grows soar and tender yet she doesn't let up."
As he talked, lewd images rushed to the front of Starlight's mind, each more perverse than the last. By the time he finished talking, her whole head was red with a circus of dirty thoughts she never thought she would ever have about her mentor.
"He's lying!" Twilight barked, a terrible blush coloring her muzzle.
Nyarlethotep burst out laughing as he let his act fall apart in front of the three mares.
"Yeah, she's right," he allowed, an impish grin decorating his muzzle. "We're nothing like that."
"Ha! Trixie new it!" she said, lips pulled into a triumphant smile.
"O-Oh," Starlight managed, her composure gradually returning as she filed away her guilty thoughts.
"Exactly," Twilight sighed as her blush stared to fade.
"I'm actually her husband," he said casually.
A moment of awkward settled into the room as what he said ran through the mare's heads.
"And no," he continued, pulling the stunned Alicorn at his side into a one-armed embrace. "I'm not kidding."
Another moment of silence, than-
"DAMN EVERYTHING TO TARTARUS!!! NOW TRIXIE OWES MAUD TWO THOUSAND BITS!!!"