//------------------------------//
// Learning From the Best 
// Story: Celestia Takes an Acting Class 
// by Equimorto 
//------------------------------//

Princess Celestia opened the door and peered inside. It was the right place and the right time, she was sure, so she decided to enter anyway after her knocks on the door had gone unanswered. She closed the door behind her and began to walk between the rows of seats, staring up at the stage, where a chair and some notes had been left. She reached the stage and got up on it, the floor creaking beneath her hoofsteps, and moved closer to examine the notes when a voice came from behind her, somewhat distant.
"Selestia, I imagine," the voice said. "Please don't look at my notes, I don't want you to get spoiled on the fun."
Celestia turned away and watched the rows of empty seats from up on the stage.
"I'm sorry," the voice came again, moving closer and accompanied by the sound of steps, "I was getting ready in the dressing room and I must have lost track of ti-YOU?"
Celestia turned to see Chrysalis standing in front of her, eyes wide and mouth slightly opened.
The two of them stared at each other in confusion for a couple of seconds, then Celestia had a sudden realization.
"Oh!" the white alicorn exclaimed, "So you're the teacher, right? I didn't expect it to be you."
Chrysalis pushed her jaw back up with a hoof. It tended to get locked in place when she kept it open for too long, a result of when she hadn't properly understood the concept of eating love and had tried to eat the whole pony. "Well, yeah. It was written on the pamphlet." Chrysalis grabbed a small rectangular piece of paper from her notes. "See? 'Chrysalis', right here," she said, holding the thing up in her magic for Celestia to see.
"Wait-" Celestia squinted a bit "-that's how you write your name? I thought you wrote it with a k. You know, since you're evil and all."
Chrysalis looked equal parts perplexed and offended, but she shook her head and ignored the feelings. She was getting paid well, after all. "So why did you use a pseudonym? And why such a bad one? Don't want ponies to know you're taking acting classes?" she asked, reordering and re-examining her notes.
"I'm... not sure I understand. I used my real name," Celestia replied.
Chrysalis stopped and turned her head back towards the Princess. "No you didn't. You wrote it with an s."
"That's how it's written," Celestia replied again.
Chrysalis fully turned towards the alicorn. "No. I'm pretty sure you write that with a c."
"I'm telling you, it's s. Like in 'sentaur'," Celestia matter-of-factly stated.
"Did you hit your head somewhen around the time your sister came back?" Chrysalis asked.
"Why?"
"Because if you were always like this then I can't find a valid reason for why it took me that long to beat you," Chrysalis said before turning back to her notes. She read through them one last time and then turned once again to Celestia. "Before we start, are there any questions you want to ask?"
"How is this legal?" Celestia said. "Aren't you an enemy and a danger for all of Equestria? Why are you allowed to teach acting?"
"There's no law preventing me from having a job, and there is one specifically preventing me from being arrested while I'm working as long as I don't do anything illegal during said work," Chrysalis answered.
Celestia looked rather annoyed at the news. "Who approved this law?" she asked, clearly angry at the one responsible.
"You did."
"Because it's a great law! Nopony should be unfairly deprived of a job just because they're considered a threat to Equestria, not as long as they aren't doing anything evil!"
"Wow. You really need these acting classes. Well, any more questions or can we begin?" the changeling asked.
"Do we get to take a pause to eat midway through?"
"No."
"Will I be good at acting after today?"
"It's unlikely you'll become good in just a lesson, but with enough time and patience you'll probably improve."
Celestia looked displeased. "Isn't there a way to learn faster?"
"No, there isn't."
"But can't you just zap the talent inside me with your magic?"
"No."
"But I thought-"
"No! If there was a spell that made you into a better actor or actress I wouldn't have a job. And Twilight would have used it on you already." Chrysalis took a deep breath. "Any other questions?"
"How do you know about the play we did in Ponyville?"
"I played the curtain."
Celestia looked at her, at a loss for words.
"What? If I have to stay hidden most of the time I might as well spy on you or Twilight. Anything else you want an answer to?"
"Do fishes need to drink?"
Chrysalis smacked her front hoof against her face. "Questions I can give an answer to," she lamented from under her limb.
"Are you telling me you've never turned into a fish?" Celestia asked, sounding offended even.
Chrysalis's hoof slowly dragged down her face and fell back to the ground. "Questions relating to the lesson we're about to have, Celestia."
"No really, how have you never turned into a fish? You'd think it would be the first thing you'd think of when discovering you can shape-shift. You know, do the truly natural thing and slip into an appropriate form to swim among the waters, snapping up fish in your jaws, instead of having to fish. I know I'd like to know how that feels."
Chrysalis walked up to Celestia. "You know, the only reason I haven't hypnotized you into my obedient slave yet is because there are guards both outside and-" Chrysalis threw a glance at the armoured pony poorly hiding inside the prompter's hole and another at the ones behind the curtains, whose hooves were visible at the bottom "-inside this place. There always are, trying to catch me when I leave or waiting for me to do something illegal while working, and with you being here they're even more than usual. But believe me, you're dangerously close to the point where I won't care about them and attack you anyway. Questions?"
"Where does the word 'dog' come from?" the alicorn asked, seemingly oblivious to the changeling's threats.
Chrysalis, being a changeling, didn't have a circulatory system like that of ponies, but she understood how those worked. And in that moment, she swore that she would have popped a vessel had she possessed them. It was only by reminding herself of the last time she'd been imprisoned that she was able to stop herself from strangling Celestia there and then. "Okay," she said after many more deep breaths to calm herself down, "let's start." Chrysalis passed some of her notes to Celestia with her magic and turned away from the alicorn. "I'm going to have you read some of those lines with different inflections to see where I need to start. Begin with the first one, read it in the way you feel would fit best with the context of what is being said."
Nothing but silence was heard. Chrysalis initially paid this no mind, thinking Celestia was taking her time to read and decide, but the alicorn remained silent and eventually she decided to look at what she was doing. Celestia was biting the paper. Somewhat guiltily, when she realized she had been noticed, she tore away the part still in her mouth and munched on it. Chrysalis's jaw blocked open again. Celestia swallowed.
"Sorry, I got a little hungry," Celestia apologised, rubbing the back of her head.
Chrysalis smashed her mouth shut with a hit from her hoof and turned to the guards hiding behind the curtains. "Black Fire?" she called.
One of the guards visibly twitched.
"Come here and hold me please, or you'll have to explain why you allowed a regicide to be committed during your shift."