//------------------------------// // The Princess and the Pie // Story: Fairy Tales of Equestria // by VioletRose13 //------------------------------// Once upon a time in a small kingdom, there lived a queen and her only son, the prince. For many moons, Queen Applejack had desperately tried countless times to find her son a proper princess to wed, for she was rather picky about whom the Prince should marry. She thought only a pony who could truly make her son happy would be perfect for him, but alas, it was all in vain. None of the mares she met or ran into were true princesses. One would be too mean or too sweet, too rich or too poor, too boring or too strange; not a single one of these mares the Queen encountered would catch the Prince’s eye. After several months of exhaustive searching, the Queen finally threw in the towel. “I’m sorry I can’t help you find a bride, son.” Queen Apple sighed. “It’s okay, mother. The important thing is that you tried, right?” The Prince replied. “Well… I guess so.” One stormy night, there was a knock at the door. “I wonder who that could be.” The Queen said to herself as she walked towards the door. When she opened the door, she saw a pony she didn’t recognize standing on the doorstep before her. This mare has a light pink coat and a poofy magenta mane with big blue eyes; she was also drenched in mud and rain water from her head to her hooves and her clothes, coat, and mane were nothing but a dirty, tattered mess. The Queen’s son, Prince Cheese soon joined his mother and the moment he saw the strange mare, his mouth fell wide open and his eyes grew large. Through all of that water, grime, and mud, Prince Cheese thought that the mare standing in front of him was the most beautiful pony he had ever seen and he felt something pulling at his heartstrings when he gazed at her. Slowly, a smile crept onto the prince’s lips. The mare shared the emotion towards him and she blushed furiously the moment she gazed into Prince Cheese’s wide green eyes. But she remembered her manners and turned her head to face the Queen again. “Thank you so much, Your Majesty. Phew! For a second, I thought I was gonna be stuck out there all night.” The stranger exclaimed, wiping her brow with her hoof. “You’re welcome, sugarcube. But… who are you?” The Queen asked as she led the strange pony inside and shut the castle door. “Oh, right! Sorry about that. My name is Princess Pinkamena Diane Pie. Or Pinkie Pie, for short.” The mare said, bowing her head to the two ponies. “A princess?” Prince Cheese commented, glancing over at his mother who smirked and shrugged at him. “Yep.” Pinkie Pie replied bluntly with a nod. “But… but you’re a total mess. What in the name of Equestria happened to you?” The Queen asked with a concerned look in her eyes. “Well, I was on my way home from a recent vacation, but then this awful storm came out of nowhere. My carriage broke down, I got separated from my servants, and I wandered through the rain for a pretty long time until I finally ended up here. So, can I please stay for the night?” The mare asked. Being the hospitable mare she was, instead of making her leave, the Queen decided to let Pinkie Pie stay for the night. She ordered some of her servants to draw a bath for their new guest and give her a new set of clothes. Pinkie Pie had said she was royalty, but how could Queen Applejack and Prince Cheese know for sure that this pony was really a princess? “There must be some way we can find out.” The Queen whispered to the Prince. “But what do you suggest we do, mother? Are we just going to let her take some royalty test to prove she is a princess without her knowing about it? Get real.” Prince Cheese playfully scoffed. Just then, the Queen came up an idea… a clever, yet rather silly idea. “I’ve got it!” She exclaimed, looking at the Prince with wide excited eyes. “Got what?” He asked. “I’ve got the perfect plan to find out for sure! We just need to test her.” “Test her? Without her knowing? How are we gonna do that?” Prince Cheese asked before his mother leaned over and whispered her plan into his ear. “Now what do you say we get the bed ready for our guest?” The Queen gave her son a wink. “Of course.” The Prince chuckled, winking back. He quickly ran straight to his mother’s bedroom, rummaged through the jewelry box on her dresser, picked out a tiny pearl, which was about the same size as a small pea, and gave it to his mother. Together, Queen Applejack and Prince Cheese made their guest’s bed for an extra special night sleep that night. They gathered up twenty downy feather mattresses and twenty quilted blankets and they laid them atop one another. “You see, son.” The Queen began, holding the tiny jewel in her hoof. “Princesses are sensitive and they feel things that other, ordinary ponies don’t even notice. That’s where this little pearl comes in. We put this under all twenty of these mattresses and blankets and if Pinkie Pie feels it, she won’t sleep a wink. You know where this goes, don’t you?” “Of course.” Prince Cheese said, taking the gem from his mother. So, he laid the pearl underneath all of the mattresses, then he looked back at his mother. “So in the morning, we’ll officially know if Pinkie Pie is a real princess or not, right?” He asked. “Exactly! And if she is, you’ll be able to marry her at once.” Queen Applejack concluded. “What?” “Yes. I saw you two looking at each other the same way. It’s pretty clear she made you happy just by lookin’ at you.” The Queen gave Prince Cheese a sly wink as he sheepishly grinned and blushed. “Wow!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she entered the room fresh after a bath. “That bed looks amazingly comfortable. With all those mattresses, I’m sure to sleep for hours, maybe even days. I can’t wait to finally get some rest. Goodnight, Queen Applejack. Goodnight, Prince Cheese.” Pinkie Pie climbed up to the top of the bed as the Queen and Prince left the room giggling under their breath. She blew out the candle and tried to get some well-deserved rest, but after she tried closing her eyes to drift off to sleep, she suddenly felt something on her back. It felt big, hard, and especially lumpy, almost like she was lying on a bed of stones; she couldn’t sleep with knowing something was indeed under her. ‘What the hay is wrong with this bed?’ She thought. As she tossed, turned, and moved to different spots to try and get herself comfortable, she still felt the lump right under her back. ‘This is so weird! I can’t believe this! Gosh, I’m never going to get any sleep at this rate!’ She tossed, turned, and moaned in discomfort all night. The next morning, Pinkie Pie was as tired as a sleep-deprived pony could be, maybe worse. She annoyingly grumbled to herself as she tried to climb out of the bed, her back aching and hurting all the while. At breakfast, the Queen and the Prince were waiting for Pinkie Pie to see the outcome of their little test. When she arrived, Pinkie Pie shuffled down the stairs and into the dining room with unflattering bags under her bloodshot eyes and a large frown on her face. “Good… good morning, everypony.” She yawned, sitting down beside Prince Cheese. “Good morning, Miss Pinkie Pie. And how was our little princess this morning?” The Queen asked with a sly smile. “Ugh… Not that well rested, I’m afraid.” The exhausted mare answered, rubbing her tired eyes with her hoof. “Oh. Didn’t you sleep well? Didn’t we give you enough mattresses? I thought it would be no trouble.” The Prince commented. “I don’t really like to complain, but even though you gave me all of those mattresses last night, it still felt like I was lying on something hard, almost like a huge rock. And now I have a big and ugly bruise on my back. Still hurts, too.” Pinkie replied as she rubbed her sore back and yawned once again. “So… you didn’t sleep?” The Queen asked. Pinkie glared at the Queen and said, “I never shut my eyes.” “You’re the one! You passed the test! You are a real princess!” Prince Cheese cried with joy, jumping up and down in his seat. “Wait, huh? What test? What are you talking about?” Pinkie asked in confusion. “Come with us, sugarcube.” Queen Applejack said, grabbing Pinkie’s hoof and dragging her up the stairs and back into the guest bed chamber. “What are you doing?” Pinkie Pie asked. “You’ll see. This is really going to surprise you!” The Prince said as he followed close behind. When Queen Applejack, Princess Pinkie, and Prince Cheese went back into Pinkie’s room, the Queen took the pearl out from under the twenty mattresses and showed it the young mare. Pinkie Pie took the pearl in her hoof and looked at it curiously. “What was that doing under there?” The mare asked. The Queen, with an excited expression on her face, said, “Only a real princess would be sensitive enough to feel a gemstone as small as this under all twenty of those mattresses.” “We had to test you to see if you were really a princess. And you passed the test!” Prince Cheese added with the same amount of excitement. “Okay, okay, okay. Wait, let me get this straight. This whole thing was only to prove I was a real princess?” Pinkie asked. “Yes.” They nodded their heads and smiled. This confused the Earth Pony mare greatly; she looked at the gem in her hoof. How could leaving a single pearl under so many mattresses prove she was royalty? Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the Queen wrapping her hoof around the mare’s shoulder. “Now, with my blessing, you and my son can marry. He’s been looking for somepony like you and now he has a proper bride… You.” She said warmly. “All last night, I hoped you’d pass, Pinkie. All I wanted was somepony who could make me happy and now I’ve found that special somepony. So… would you… be my bride?” Prince Cheese asked, taking Pinkie Pie’s hoof in his own and smiling. Pinkie Pie was at a loss of words; she had no idea what to say at this point. But then, she dropped the pearl, smiled, and looked into the bright green eyes of her new lover. “Yes.” She said before grinning and jumping up and down. “Yes, yes, yes! A thousand times, YES! Of course I’ll marry you!” “Then it’s settled! Ya’ll be married at once!” The Queen declared with a loud ‘Yeehaw!’ and a big smile on her face. Then, the Prince leaned in and he gave Pinkie Pie a sweet, passionate kiss full on the lips. The Queen then took the tiny white stone and put it back in her jewelry box. Prince Cheese Sandwich and Princess Pinkie Pie were married that very day, their kingdoms were united, and they all lived happily ever after.