"The first years, Professor McGonagall." Said Hagrid. She smiled at Hagrid and nodded.
"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here." She opened up the door wide. Which was actually amazing, considering how large those damn doors were and that she didn't use magic. She was actually quite spry for looking so old. I looked into the familiar entrance hall. I took a deep breath and sighed, Smiling. We followed Minerva across to a small chamber that looked like it was connected to the hall from the side. We walked in, and it was actually rather cramped than I would have liked.
"Welcome to Hogwarts." Said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term Banquet will begin shortly. But before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses." This seemed like a regularly practiced speech that had been modified over years of speaking it. "The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be your home and your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your grade and house, and you shall be grouped together with other houses of the same year during certain classes." Then as a side-note, she added. "Except for one, But I'm not entirely sure the plans for Alternative Magics. The teacher hasn't given any notice to any of the other teachers." Her eyes flicked to me for a second before turning back to the students like she hadn't said anything.
"Your triumphs shall earn your house, points. And your rule-breaking shall lose your house points. Again, the Alternative Magic teacher said he had different plans for this, but he didn't even elaborate to the Headmaster what his plans were." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Also... I've never had to give this warning before. But be wary of the Alternative Magic teacher's assistant, Pinkie Pie." all of the first years looked at each other confused and slightly fearful.
"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting." It was at this point she pointedly looked at me. I smile sheepishly underneath my mask. But I didn't really care.
"I shall return when we are ready for you," Minerva said as she walked into the Great Hall. Suddenly there was a great deal of muttering. Mostly about how they look and how they think they were going to be sorted. After a little bit though, a bunch of ghosts floated through the wall behind me. I knew because one of them floated right through me because I was leaning against the wall. And holy hell, it felt like a bunch of ice-cold needles was poking at wherever the ghost had touched.
"HEY! "I yell angrily at them. "Be careful of where you float!" The ghosts stop and look at me.
"I say. What are you all doing here?" Nicholas said.
"New students!" Said the Fat Friar, smiling around at them. "About to be Sorted, I suppose?" A few people nodded shocked. "hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old house you know."
"Go on! Move along!" Minerva said sternly as she walked back inside. The ghost floated back through the wall. And the one that had floated through me the first time, floated through me again just to spite me. I began to throw curses in the direction of the wall they floated through. A few people looked at me amazed as I began to throw swear in different languages.
"Maldito Ghosts.." I mutter. "I just want to придушить the lort out of them."
We soon walked into the Great Hall. There was a bunch of candles flying all over the place, but it didn't look like they were dripping anywhere. Hell, they didn't look to be degrading at all. It must be some sort of permanent lighting charm stuck to the candles that held no actual heat. That would actually make much more sense considering the roof would burn down if those candles were all lit. the actual roof looked like the night sky above. I picked up on Hermione muttering to someone.
"It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A history." She stated proudly to whoever she was whispering too. I look and saw Minerva placing down a four-legged stool in front of us with an old patched hat on top of it. I waited and suddenly, the hat began to sing in an old wizen voice.
"Oh, You may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me." This brought up a bunch of images in my mind. Including what would happen if the hat did indeed eat itself.
"You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
and unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands, Though I have none.
FOR I'M A THINKING CAP!" The Sorting Hat finished dramatically and everyone began clapping. Minerva smiled and pulled out a scroll.
"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," She said to us. She then cleared her throat and began reading. "Abbot, Hannah!" A pink-faced girl with blonde hair styled into pigtails at the back of her head and closer down to her neck stepped up and put on the hat. The hat began to mumble quietly, but if your hearing was good enough, you would be able to hear what the sorting hat was mumbling. So this was like the movie hat, which talked instead of talking directly into your mind. The Hat then straightened and called out "HUFFLEPUFF!" Hannah stumbled out from under the hat and she went to the Hufflepuff table, where the Fat Friar congratulated her.
"Bones, Susan!" She did the same thing and disappeared underneath the hat. "HUFFLEPUFF!" The wait was shorter this time with barely any mumbling.
"Boot, Terry!" It continued on and on. 2 Ravenclaws, then a Gryffindor, then a Slytherin. another Hufflepuff and after a while. Hermione was called up. She was up there for quite a minute or two before the hat shouted out "GRYFFINDOR!" The sorting continued. Neville got sorted into Gryffindor, Malfoy got sorted into Slytherin as expected. After a while, Harry was called up. There were instant mutterings at that name and everyone began to crane their neck to get a look at The Boy Who Lived. I waited patiently for a minute before the hat called "GRYFFINDOR!" I smiled.
I waited for the last few first years to be sorted. Finally, Blaise was the last one to be sorted and I was the only one waiting. Everyone was looking at me. Minerva cleared her throat.
"Voidic!" There were mutterings again at my name as I stepped up and sat on the stool. I put the hat on my head, but It couldn't fit over my mask. I groan as people began to chuckle and a few of the teachers were muttering about a student wearing a mask. I duck my head and covered my face from everyone. I pulled my mask off and put my face mask over my nose and mouth, I then pulled my hood over my head to cover my fried hair. I straightened back up and people were muttering again about why I was so adamant about keeping my face hidden. I placed the hat on my head, but it didn't get past my eyes. There was silence as I felt a pounding on the back of my head, but I thought that was only because the hat was squeezing my head slightly.
"Boy!" The Hat finally said exasperatedly. "I can't sort you into you let me in!" Everyone's eyes widened in shock. This had never happened in Hogwarts History, The Sorting hat was supposed to be the greatest legilimens created on earth. For a wizard, let alone a first year, to be able to block it out. Was supposed to be impossible!
"What?" I asked confused. "I am letting you in," I said.
"Then how do explain this literal wall in your mind?" The Sorting hat yelled.
"Literal wall?" I frown. I then widen my eyes. "OH!! I see where you're stuck. Hold on. I'll go get you." I then take a deep breath and travelled into my own mind. I had usually only done this so that I could upgrade my powers. I took my hands off my body controls. But I didn't realize my audio functions were still working. I looked around and walked towards the door of my "Mind Palace." I had gotten the idea off of the show 'Sherlock.' I opened the door.
"I don't know how you're able to block me out." The sorting hat said. As he walked in, I got a good mental look at him. He seemed to be a younger Ollivander. That's about the best I could describe him.
"Yeah, Sorry about that." I chuckle sheepishly. "I never thought that Mind Palaces could be used as magical mental defences."
"Is that what you call this place?" The sorting hat sighs. "This looks like a storage room from one of those muggle school I see in the Muggle-born memories."
"Yeah... You'll see why that is soon enough." I brought him to the filing cabinets that were my memories. The sorting hat opened one and immediately began to sing. Only it wasn't just the sorting hat's body that was singing. My body was singing as well in unison with the hat.
"SHIT!!!" I yell as I close up the cabinet.
"What was that?" The sorting hat yelled as everyone in the real world was shocked. The singing had come complete with music and everything.
"Sorry. I kind of forgot. When my memories are opened, I thought it would be funny if anyone who saw them was forced to sing a song of my choosing. This includes me." I began to chuckle sheepishly at the death glare the hat was sending me.
"You mean we have to sing a bunch of songs, just so I can see your memories?" The Hat groaned.
"Uh... Yes?"
"Well, that puts points into all 4 houses for you. Your ambitious for taking that route. Your brave for taking that route as well actually. You're extremely loyal to whoever is in your memories. and you're extremely smart for just being able to do this."
"Um... Thanks?" I ask
"No problem. Let's just get through this." The sorting hat opened the cabinet again and we began to sing the same song. But He tried to read through the memories as fast as he could. Eventually, we closed up the memories and we continued.
Eventually, we managed to get through all the memories. The Sorting hat glared at me.
"Even with all of those memories checked, I'm still not sure where to put you. Your plans for the future make you the rival of Slytherin himself. Your Brains alone for creating those plans would make you the protege of Ravenclaw. Your loyalty would make Hufflepuff blush. And your Bravery would make you the most trusted ally of Gryffindor himself!" The sorting hat yelled in exasperation. "You're not making my life easier. And If I stay in this mind any longer, I'm gonna start losing some years off of my magically extended life!" He then calmed down.
"You know what? Fuck it." I also forgot to mention. From that long sorting, the hat got some of my mannerisms. "I'm putting you in Gryffindor because fuck it. If you don't like it, you can choose where you want to stay. I give up. I now declare you the first and only student of Hogwarts that has every gotten sorted into multiple houses. Let alone all four." He left and slammed my Mind Palaces door. I shrug and put my hands back on my body controls. I blink and look around at everyone's gaping mouths. I took the sorting hat off, Who I swore, sent me his equivalent of the finger before I left. I sat down at the Gryffindor table. There was an awkward silence.
"You know what? I Think the Sorting Hat is angry at me." I said mildly. This cracked almost everyone who heard it, up. Everyone except the teachers began to laugh loudly. Even some of the Slytherins were laughing. Dumbledore smiled and stood up. Everyone fell silent.
"Thank you, Everyone. Now after that... Most abnormal sorting. I have a few words to say before we all dig in. First of all. Welcome back to a new year at Hogwarts! Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank You!" Dumbledore then sat down and I swore I could hear Pinkie Pie laughing from somewhere in the castle. I roll my eyes and began to think my plans over while I filled my plate up with a bunch of food that suddenly filled from the golden platters spread in front of us. I opened my ears when I heard Nick speak though.
"That does look good," He said sadly.
"Can't you..." Harry trailed off.
"I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years," Nick shook his head. "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, at your service."
"That's a mouthful." I pointed out.
"I know you! Your nearly headless Nick!"
"I would prefer you call me by my chosen name," Nick said affronted.
"Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?" Seamus asked curiously. Nick said resigned.
"Like this." He then pulled his head off and it fell limply to the side, stuck to his head only by a thin sliver of skin. I blink. It wasn't the most gruesome thing I've seen. But apparently, it was for a good portion of people around me. As they all gasped in horror.
"Not the most horrible thing I've seen," I said in a bored tone of voice. Everyone looked at me and Nick looked slightly angry.
"Oh! I bet you saw ones that were fully headless huh?"
"No actually. Try picturing this." I said I cleared my throat. "A person with his skin completely stripped of his body and covered in various pieces of glass all over his body. And his head completely split down the middle." Everyone turned green, and a good portion of the Hufflepuffs that was listening vomited onto the ground. Even some of the ghosts that were listening coloured slightly.
"I'm very glad that I can't eat now," said Nick.
"Yep." I nodded and I continued to eat. While everyone else just sorta... poked at their food. Not hungry anymore. I looked at the staff table and saw a few teachers were throwing glares my way. Eventually, the conversation veered to heritage.
"I'm half and half. My dad's a muggle. Mom didn't tell him she was a witch 'til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him." A good portion of the Gryffindors laughed.
"What about you, Neville?"
"Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," Neville began smiling. "But the family thought I was all-muggle for ages. My great uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off guard and force some magic out of me. He tried pushing me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly died trying to get out. But nothing happened until I was eight. He was hanging me out the upstairs window drunk. When my great-aunt Enid came into the room and shocked him, dropping me in the process. I fell and bounced when I hit the ground, Fell into the road. Had to wait for a couple of Obliviators from the Ministry while my family congratulated me. Algie seemed so pleased and relieved that he bought me Trevor, my toad." Ron pales when he remembers what I said about Trevor.
"That's cool." Ron smiles, keeping his voice even. they then turned to me.
"What about you Voidic?"
"It's... Complicated." I said finally.
"What do you mean?" Seamus asked.
"Well... My brother gave me magic, I guess you could say. My brother figured out how to use this magic himself."
"What?" they blinked surprised.
"I didn't know you could give magic to people," Ron said.
"Well, normally you can't. but I and my brother are... special... I guess you could say." I looked at them. "What I mean by that is that it seems that everything odd happens around us."
"Like how?" Neville asked.
"Well... Seamus, you know about T.V right?" Seamus nods. "Well, My brother got thrown into the world of one of those T.V shows he was a fan off, and I got thrown into the parallel of said world. You know how Professor McGonagall told us to be careful of Pinkie Pie?" They all nodded. "Well, she's one of the characters from that parallel I got thrown into." Almost everyone looked at me quickly and widened their eyes. "Yeah. I told you that it was complicated." I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. A few people chuckled. I then suddenly get an Idea and run towards Fred and George. Giving them instructions on what to do. They nodded and began to spread the word among all of the tables except for the Slytherins. Soon enough, The twins were finished and sat back down. I watched Dumbledore stand up. Everyone fell respectfully silent, even the ghosts stood still.
"Just a few more words now that... most of us are fed and watered." Dumbledore looked at me and quite a few people chuckled at my expense. I laughed with them.
"Hey. they asked!" I defended myself. Dumbledore chuckled and shook his head.
"That they did. Anyway. First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils, and a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well." Dumbledore looked pointedly at the twins. Everyone began laughing again.
"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used in between classes in the corridors. Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. Also. I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death." there were instant mutterings that Dumbledore waited to die down.
"And finally. We will be adding a new class that is required for all first years. this class will take place on Saturdays." There was instant groans from a majority of the houses. "I know, but the teacher said he didn't want to be bothered about creating a schedule. So he has decided that all first years will be meeting during the first period of the day on Saturday. He also has requested a multitude of students be required to take the class with the first years." Dumbledore took out the scroll that I have given him about a week ago. He cleared his throat.
"Fred and George Weasley.
Percy Weasley.
Oliver Wood.
Cedric Diggory.
Katie Bell
Cho Chang
Angelina Johnson
Lee Jordan
Alicia Spinnet
and Penelope Clearwater." A lot of people blinked when they realized they were called upon especially. Except for Fred and George, who I was surprised to see their faces were remarkably straight.
"Also. I would like to tell you that our New class is going to be called Alternative Magics. And the teacher has asked that he be kept anonymous until his first class." Barely anyone looked in my direction, I was personally surprised. "Also. I'd like to introduce you to the Alternative Magic teacher's assistant. Pinkie Pie." Dumbledore said as suddenly there was a cannon blast from behind us. Everyone looked in the direction of the blast to see streamers coming down and a bunch of cakes now on the table. Everyone blinked when they realized that the cakes had somehow come out of the cannons. they then returned to look at Pinkie bizarre appearance. She was wearing her normal school clothes. but on closer inspection, it looked like she was wearing her robes underneath her clothes.
"How does she have pink skin?" Someone asked. "Did she get into a magic accident?"
"No. I was born this way silly!" She began to skip towards the staff table. She stopped in front of Dumbledore. "Thanks, Dumblydory!" She smiled. "I'll take care of it from here." I sigh mentally as Pinkie looked towards everybody.
"Hi everyone! I'm Pinkie Pie! I love to make parties and make people happy!" She smiled. Her happiness was infectious and soon I noticed that a good portion of the student body was grinning with her. "When It comes time for your birthday, i'll throw a big party for you! I did that same thing for Filchy." All of the older students laughed when they thought of his reaction. Pinkie Pie then frowned. "He's a big party pooper. He didn't like the party at all, even though it was supposed to celebrate his sixty-ninth birthday. His cat is nice though. I think Fluttershy would like her. Ms. Norris thanked me for giving her 'master' a happy occasion after so long." She frowned again. "Don't know why she said that. Aren't all days supposed to be happy?" Pinkie shrugged while everyone stared, apparently digesting the fact that Pinkie had somehow communicated with Filch's cat. She then brightened back up again immediately.
"Anyway. I think that's all that's on my mind for the day. Later tomorrow if everyone could write down their birthday on a piece of paper. Or parchment. Whatever you use. I'll be able to pick them all up and plan out parties for all of you!" Pinkie bounced. But quite a few people looked confused.
"Uh..." A Ravenclaw student began. "How are you going to get into the towers if you don't have our passwords?"
"Don't underestimate her." A chorus of teachers answered, all in the same exasperated and pained tone of voice that I had gotten used to when new people tried to figure Pinkie out. Everybody blinked and shrugged. Pinkie smiled and sat back down on a pink chair that was right beside a black chair that seemed misty.
I blinked and looked at the chairs along the table. I frowned when I realized that all of the chairs seemed to match the teachers somehow. For example. I saw a chair that seemed to have hundreds of accessories hanging off of it. I assumed that this belonged to Professor Trelawney. So that black mist chair must be for me. I never knew this was a thing. It had never been mentioned in the books before.
I shook my head and pulled out the phone from my pocket. I began to type rapidly on it. Dumbledore was just about to stand up when I pressed enter.
Suddenly, there were several loud bangs and crashes as the plates along the tables rose up and rushed to form words above the staff table.
"Hello, Hogwarts students! I have come to inform you that The Marauders are back! If any of you are unaware of who we are. We are the most notorious group of pranksters to ever grace Hogwarts. Possibly the World! So if you annoy us? God help you." The plates flew to rearrange into different letters. "This has been a public service announcement from Hacksmith, Mr.Furze, Vashley Simpson, and Jovian. Thank you." The plates then flew back to the table as people began muttering at their neighbours. Snape looked like he might kill someone and was glaring right at Harry, But nobody else was looking at him. Everyone had eyes on Fred and George. Who looked like they were genuinely confused at who these "Marauders" Are. They turned to each other.
"Why, Dear brother. It looks like someone is trying to take our throne!" George began dramatically.
"Indeed it does, Brother of mine. It seems we need to up our game." Fred said with a truly evil smile that I could feel shake the people beside me. I struggled to control a smile. Then I realized that I didn't need to because of my mask. I began to smile widely, glad that nobody was suspecting me. I looked at the other teachers' reactions. Minerva had a faraway look on her face. Filius looked genuinely excited. (For whatever reason.) Pomona looked to be slightly uneasy. And Quirinus looked indifferent. But what surprised me most of all, was Albus. He looked to be frowning and planning. I shook my head to myself as He stood up.
"Now. After that eventful night. Before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" He raised his wand and a long golden ribbon split off at various points flew out and twisted into words. "Everyone pick their favourite tune, And off we go!" Suddenly all of the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs stood up and began to sing in a slow funeral song at the top of their lungs that shook the castle from the sound it was producing. It even seemed like the school was singing with us.
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts.
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now, they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgot
Just do your best, WE'll do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot!" Everyone sang with a giant finale. All the teachers blinked in shock in the unison the students just showed. But Dumbledore smiled and wiped his eye of a tear that wasn't there.]
"Ah, Music. A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!" I got up and began to follow the Gryffindor first years. I would be able to get into the Ravenclaw dormitories at any time. The Hufflepuff's, I would have to ask. And I would have to guess at the Slytherin password. We followed Percy and ran into Peeves
"OOOH! Ickle Firsties! What Fu...." Peeves stopped when he looked at me. He immediately paled. "Outsider?" He asked surprisingly sombre. Percy blinked at this sudden change and looked to where Peeves was looking and spotted me.
"Uhh. No. I've spoken to him... But I'm not him... exactly?" I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. Internally, I was raging at him. "STUPID DAMN GHOST! LEAVE! YOUR BREAKING MY COVER!" Peeves looked confused before nodding.
"Ah! So your just another ickle firstie! FUN!" He swooped upon us all, and all of the first years ducked, but he seemed to avoid me.
"Go away Peeves! Or the Baron'll hear about this, I mean it!" Percy yelled. Peeves stuck out his tongue and vanished, the walking sticks dropped onto Percy's head with clacks.
"Yeah... You'll want to watch out for Peeves," Percy said as he massaged his head. We set off again. "The bloody baron's the only one that can control him. And I'm not even sure how. He won't even listen to us prefects. Here we are." Percy said as we stopped in front of a picture of a fat woman in a pink silk dress.
"Password?" She asked in a regal sort of voice.
"Caput Draconis," Percy said importantly The fat lady nodded and opened up to reveal a large hole in the wall. We all entered to find the common room. A cozy round room full of armchairs that looked to be varying level of softness. The one that was closest to the door looked to be like a common muggle school chair. While the one closest to the fire looked to be along the comfortability of a Dalton chair. I went up one of the staircases. Not noticing that I had accidently gone up the wrong staircase. There was a loud noise and I instantly jumped up and pressed my hands and feet against the sides of the walls, keeping me in place as the stairs turned into a slide. I looked back to see everyone struggling not to laugh.
"Yeah... Sorry about that. I went up the wrong one. I jumped off the wall and slid down the slide. Everyone began laughing as the slide returned to normal. All the guys went up our correct staircase and the girls went up theirs. We all went into our dormitory and I laid down on the bed without taking off my clothes. Falling asleep. Finally glad that this story was beginning.