//------------------------------// // The triple threat and single fret // Story: Unexpected changeling // by The ancient one //------------------------------// Here I sit at Sugarcube Corner, with the pink mare known as Pinkie Pie. She is...to say the least- “ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR DAY BABY!? ARE YA!? Because if not we could play the favorite word game! IT'S WHERE YOU GUESS THE FAVORITE WORD OF THE OTHER PLAYER! One of mine is cumquat, it's a funny word! Now you say it! Did you know how much I like funny words? There's an even better one but you have to guess that one, guess! Come on! Guess! YOU CAN DO-” “SHUT UP! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS DECENT, SHUT UP!” I scream as I shove my hoof into her mouth.   Where was I? She is, to say the least, infuriating.  I take my hoof out of her mouth because she's still mumbling over it anyway. “Aw is someone cranky? Let's see if we can change that!” She screamed at me with that happy voice. I grab her head and look her dead in the eyes. “Pinkie. I will end you.” I gave her the same headbutt I gave Luna. No effect.  “Oh Oh Oh! Is this a game!?” She squeed. I tried again and again and again, no effect, every time! NOTHING! Why? “What makes you so immune, monster, tell me!!” I raged. I turned her head to the side and looked into her ear, I had to make sure there was a brain in there. I couldn't see anything, it was too dark. “OH! IS IT MY TURN YET!?” She exploded in joy, shortly before she grabbed my head and turned it to the side. What on earth is she- She stuck her head into one of my ears and came out the other. “PEEKABOO!” She shouted. “Who-What...WHAT?! How is that even possible!?” My mind raced as pinkie was, apparently, ghosting through it. She pulled her head out and looked at me. “Hey what kind of Pie do you like? Banana? Cream? Pumkin? Apple? Oh we have really good apple pies, the best apples in all of equestria come from here! Sweet apple acres, where my friend Applejack works, speaking of Applejack she's the pony of HONESTY! She's the most bestest and honestestest(?)Pony I know!” I grabbed her ears and screamed at the top of my lungs, desperately bashing my head against hers on a beat. “WHY. DON'T. YOU. MAKE. ANY. SENSE!?” I heard the crying of two more kids. A filly and a colt, it was Pumpkin and Pound cake.  I hadn't seen them all day, pinkie kept me downstairs and them upstairs. Probably trying not to burden herself too much, it would make sense after- I watch her bring down the two foals. “Why does my logic not work with her?” I murmured. She sat the two Cakes next to me and began to entertain us. I wasn't sure what I was seeing. “What...what exactly is going on here?” I asked. “I think she's doing a mime?” A small female voice said. My eyes shot open and looked around, “Who said that?” “Uhm, me?” The voice said. “Me who?” I stammered. A pony that could understand me? That shouldn't be. Pumpkin grabbed my head “ME, ME THAT'S WHO!” My jaw dropped. “You...You can talk?” “Yeah, we can.” A small male voice said. I turned around to see it was Pound Cake. “You act like you've never talked to another foal before.” Pumpkin said as she nudged me. “Err, well, no. I haven't spoken to another before, you two are the first.” I said stunned. “HEY PAY ATTENTION BABIES, YOU'LL MISS THE FIREWORKS!” Pinkie screeched. “She brought pyrotechnics...while BABY SITTING!?” I said with a terrified face. “Don't worry about it, we'll quiet things down.” Pound cake said to me, taking a small nod to his sister. They both began to cry out loud. My expression deadpanned. “Yep, this is the true definition of 'quiet', you two are amazing” Pinkie began to panic, she ran around the room looking for toys to silence the two cakes. Nothing worked.  With each new toy they only cried louder and louder. “Uhh don't cry, look!” She said zooming in a puff of smoke and reappearing with a bag of flour. She tore it open and and let the flour cover her. The cakes burst into laughter at the young mare. Pinkie seemed exhausted from the little they did, and said “Looks like it's time for a nap” She picked us up, took us upstairs and set us down in the bed and walked out. “How..did you do that? All you did was cry, and she was drained...” I questioned them. “Practice. Now let's figure out what we're gonna do next. New kid, you've got horns AND wings, how well can you use them?” Pumpkin Cake asked sternly. “I can't really use my wings...or my horn. They're really more for show than anything else.” I said withdrawing to a squeak. “UGH! Who is this guy? What kind of pony can't use their horns OR wings?!” Pound Cake impatiently burst forth. “I'm not a pony. I'm a changeling.” I corrected them. “A what?” They said, with combined timing that only twins could do. “A changeling. I can transform, fly and use magic...well, I can't but my kind can.” I stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “Interesting.” They both said. “Will you two cut that out? It's creepy.” I said as I turned my head. “This coming from the guy with holes in his body.” Pound Cake retorted. Touché... “Look if I could use my abilities I would, I just don't know how...and last time I checked, no one was giving lessons to changelings.” I gave in. They both popped me on the head and pointed at themselves. Them? They were going to teach me? They couldn't be serious, right? Pumpkin crawled up to me. “The first thing about magic is you have to realize your desire. Feel what you imagine, and imagine what you feel and make it real!” “But how do I-” Pound cake slapped me. “Did she ask for excuses? No? So do it!” “Alright! Alright!” I raised my hooves in defense. I closed my eyes and concentrated, I focused harder than I ever did in my human life. It felt odd, to actually be trying to succeed instead of just giving up and letting yourself fail. I opened my eyes to look at the cakes. “Did I do it?” I asked worriedly. “Not even a glow”, Pound Said to me, with little to no comfort I might add. Failure again, I had gotten used to it so I shouldn't be hurt, right? But it did, probably because I tried this time. “Well let's try your wings!” Pound Cake pointed to my back. “The way I use mine is like this!” he began flapping his wings and causing himself to float. Obviously he wasn't good at explanations, that, or he was trolling me pretty hardcore. I tried flapping my wings by scrunching my back, nothing happened. I tried again but got the same result. “Ok so your wings are useless.” Pound Cake gave me a disappointed stare. I sighed deeply and told them “I had used them once before, but it was on accident, my back was itching and I was trying to get it off” Pumpkin and Pound knocked on my head again, speaking in a twin voice that REALLY creeped me out. “Helloooo! Do we really have to connect the dots for you?” I knocked on their heads, “Helloooo! Yes.” I gave a blank expression. They facehoofed themselves, then me. “You know, we met not 10 minutes ago and we already have a deeply physical relationship, good job, everypony.”I gave an expressionless face to them. “If you flew trying to scratch your back, then obviously that feeling was the key!” Pumpkin said getting rowdy. Wow, was I really so stupid that it took two baby horses to point that out? Whatever the case may be, I had to test their theory out. I attempted to scratch the spot on my back as I did the night with Luna. Lo and behold, they began to flutter and I began to float. The feelings that ran through me were incredible, impossible to describe. “I knew you could do it” Pumpkin gently said to me. I smiled, I had done something right. If only my dad could...my wings slowly stopped. My dad...that man...he was a big time lawyer who always expected the best of me. I always tried my best and that's all that mattered to him. I could always count on my mother, regardless of what mess I had made she would always be there. Then that day came, I had to be no more than 6 at the time. I ran out into the street to chase after a rolling toy I had dropped, and then my mom... After that day I couldn't live up to his expectations and so he treated me like a deathrow inmate. No kindness, No laughter, No time, No love.  “Hey snap out of it! What's wrong?” The twins shouted at me. I shook my head to focus myself. I had been crying, lost in my memories. “Sorry, I just…” I cleared my throat, “So you said something about a plan?” They looked to each-other with worried expressions, then back to me. “We can only make it work if you learn to control your wings better. I can help but you'd have to give up your nap.” Pound Cake put his hoof on my shoulder. Why is he all touchy now?  The rest of nap-time was spent with them explaining the basics of flight, practice and explaining the plan to me in detail, then we tried to get some rest. “Time to wake up guys! Time to wake up!” A high pitched voice entered the room. Who on earth could that be? The cakes and I must have, at most, gotten a minute of sleep. We were suddenly picked up and placed on floor and loud singing began. We looked to each-other and realized it could only be one thing. Pinkie Pie. We stared at her. “Time to put plan into action?” I asked Pound and Pumpkin cake. They nodded. I cried as hard as I could attracting Pinkies attention. She made her way to me and began her attempts to calm me with silly faces. While she was distracted Pumpkin used her magic to unlock the chest of toys on the side of the room, Pound Cake went in and dug up a ball, blocks, and a marionette puppet. He then made his way out the door and signaled the first part was done, then went around the corner to set things up. Seeing the sign, I stopped crying and hugged Pinkie with deep caring, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the hug. Holy hell is she fluffy.  Pound Cake came back then signaled to Pumpkin that it was her turn, she understood what she had to do. She began making toys float out of the chest and began biting them, she made sure one of them hit pinkie so that she'd notice. Pinkie saw her and instantly put me down to take the toy out her mouth, Pumpkin ran past her and out the door, where she was picked up by Pound Cake and flown downstairs. Pinkie chased after them, she tripped on the puppet, her legs had been tangled by the strings of the puppet Pound Cake had placed on the stairs. I could hear her falling down them, it didn't sound pleasant.  Pumpkin Came up through the floor, it was my turn again. I grabbed a blanket and then she pulled me through the floor. I flew down, over Pinkies head, and into the kitchen. I met Pound Cake and he handed me the ball, grabbing the ball I flew into the bathroom and placed it in the tub. I flew back to Pound Cake, having done my job and made sure things were going according to plan. He looked at me and nodded. Things were almost done, I flew over to the counter to check on Pumpkin, she was ready. I nodded to her and she hit the bell, obviously since pinkie was the only one here, and sugar cube corner with the closed sign on, she'd assume it was a theft. She ran out to see what was going on I grabbed Pumpkin and we flew through the roof and back into the bathroom. We met Pound Cake along at the destination, we plugged up the tub and he broke the nozzle, soon it would begin to flood. At this point we needed to do one last thing and buy some time, Pinkie had no idea I could fly so obviously I was the best distraction. I flew downstairs and peaked around to see if pinkie was there. The coast was clear so I landed and positioned myself as if I had fallen down the stairs, Pound Cake stomped down the stairs, adding emphasis to this illusion and being effective for the plan. He took one hard stomp and indented a certain spot on the stairs. I told him it was enough and he flew back to the bathroom. I cried again bringing pinkie to me, the look of fear on her face was incredible. I had no idea what was running through her mind, but obviously it wasn't good. She picked me up and began checking me for injuries, I clearly knew that nothing would surface so I had to go act on the fly. I slapped her, wailed, and wiggled around to make sure she couldn't hold me. She placed me on the ground and ran to get something to take my mind off the, “pain” I was feeling. Once she left the room I flew out into the kitchen and pulled out the drawers, the drawers with ALL the dangerous objects in them. This wouldn't be enough, if I played the same joke twice, she'd catch wind.  So I went into the fridge and poured ketchup all over the floor, I then went into the mess of sharp objects and made a small pocket for myself. I then took a knife and stabbed it through a hole in my leg. Perfect is the word that ran through my mind. I cried aloud, wailing as if I had been hurt even more. Pinkie ran in and when she saw it, all the color drained from her body. She ran over to me, picked me up, put all the sharp objects in the sink and began looking me over again. It was at that time that I saw Pound Cake, he signaled it was time. I kicked out of pinkies grip and flew upstairs. “SINCE WHEN COULD YOU FLY!?” She screamed in confusion. She then ran after me, she really shouldn't have. The water was spilling over the stairs and hallway. Once she made it upstairs I had sat on the far side of the hall, she saw me and made a mad dash.  Almost there... She continued. A bit more... She was determined to end this. “NOW!” I screamed to Pumpkin. She had turned the blanket invisible so Pinkie couldn't see it, but now it was visible, and in-front of pinkies face, blinding her. I flew out the way of the incoming equine and onto the roof, Pinkie tried to stop but the water on the floor prevented it. She smacked right into the wall. At that moment the ball had flowed out of the tub and followed the current of the water down the stairs. Pumpkin nodded to me and flew downstairs to wait for me and her brother. It was time to end this. I took one last look at Pound Cake and we started. Pinkie took the blanket off her face and I once again flew downstairs. She was careful of the water this time, she wouldn't be fooled into another one of those invisible traps, but she wouldn't need to, they were clearly visible. No way she would fall for it then, right? That is unless a certain baby pegasus happens to, “accidentally” fly into you while walking down the stairs. She walked onto the blocks and tripped down the stairs and onto the ball, it had been locked into place by the indent Pound Cake made when stomping on them. The ball bounced her into the air and onto a chair that had been placed for her safety. She fainted. Mission: Mess with Pinkie Pie.  Status: Accomplished. We woke her up and helped her clean the mess we had made. After that we all gave Pinkie a big hug, she knew we were just playing after all and still loved us. Pinkie put us back in the the crib and left. “You did pretty well new guy” Pumpkin and Pound said to me in total, complete, horrific unison. “Thanks, we'll have to do it again sometime.” I nodded to them. I hugged them. You know it was nice having friends to play with, maybe being in the care of the mane six wouldn't be so- “Do you mind?” I said to Pumpkin who was trying to eat my shoulder. “Sorry, force of habit...and you do kinda look like cheese.” She squeed. I shrugged it off and laid down to get some rest. Who would be taking care of me tomorrow? I wondered. It didn't matter too much, I could fly now, so if things didn't work out I could always leave. I closed my eyes and awaited the morning to greet me. --------- I awoke to the morning sun, and rose to greet Pound and Pumpkin Cake. They were nowhere to be found. "Hello? Is anypony there?" I said curiously. "No one but us" Whispered a strange voice from nowhere. I couldn't categorize it as male or female, it just existed. "Who said that?!" I shouted looking around myself. "No one." It laughed. "Someone." "Which is it?" I questioned it. "Both and neither." I relaxed. "What do you want from me?" I said with a shivering voice. "I want you to tell the truth." It echoed. "What do you mean, 'tell the truth', I haven't lied to anyone!" I shouted. The bed morphed into a claw and held me, the walls melted around me and behind them, darkness. "Oh but you have. To yourself. These ponies don't care about you, none of them do." It teased me. "You're wrong! They do care! They care a lot!!" I challenged it. "You think so? Why? Because these are the same Technicolor Donkies you used to watch when you were human?!" It screamed at me as the grip of the claw got tighter. "DO YOU HONESTLY THINK ANYONE WOULD CARE FOR INSIGNIFICANT BRAT LIKE YOU!? THEY DON'T LOVE YOU! THEY PITY YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE! But this is something you know, isn't it?" It began to antagonize me. "I don't know what you're talking about!" I denied shaking my head, trying my best to block out the voice. "Admit it, you know they wouldn't accept you if they knew about you and your...poor mother. Am I correct in saying that? Isn't that why you shrugged off the two cakes when they asked if you were ok?" I remained silent. Tears began falling from my eyes. "Awe did I hurt your feelings? Boo hoo, poor little murderer! Don't worry though, I only want you to tell the truth so I can give you power." The voice began vibrating into my body. "Power?" I questioned. "I know you, better than you know yourself. 'Why am I so weak?' 'Why couldn't I help her?' 'I wish I had the power to change things'. Those are your thoughts, correct? You want power and I can give it." My expression went blank, the tears still streaming. "Surrender to me, admit your worthlessness and give me all you are. I promise you, the power to change things for the better will come. You'll be more powerful than you could ever imagine! Just admit it." Those words echoed in my brain over and over again. Was it right? Should i give into it? "My patience grows thin boy! Answer me!" Everything turned black, but in that darkness I could tell there was someone there. It didn't matter though, I didn't have the strength or the courage to resist. "I admit" I resigned. "Admit what?" It growled. "I admit I-" --------- I woke up in a cold sweat. It was all a dream? Just a bad...bad dream, everything was ok now. It was still the middle of the night, and I could tell it would be a long one. I held onto Pumpkin, at the very least, if anything happened she could use magic to help me. I closed my eyes to fall asleep, and as i did i heard ringing and hissing. Something told me my days in Ponyville wouldn't be as relaxing as I thought.