Road trips are always fun. Who does not love the chance to go out and see somewhere new and spend some time relaxing in a new locale? What is less fun is the process of getting there. Especially when it involves being stuck in a vehicle with several teenage girls of varying levels of stir-craziness after being packed in a vehicle for several hours.
Rainbow Dash groaned, massaging her thighs. “Ugh, I’m cramping up, Storm. You mind stopping so I can stretch out a bit?”
I sighed and took a deep breath. “We are only a few minutes away from the cabin, Rainbow. Just be patient.”
“Fine,” Rainbow did her best to stretch her legs out in the back seat, earning a few token grumbles from Twilight and Sunset as her legs slipped into their space. “Sorry. Least your jeep has plenty of leg room. Cloud’s car is great and all, but it’s a little small to be stuck in for a couple hours.”
Star glanced up from her phone for the first time since we’d started the road trip, but only long enough to roll her eyes. “Patience.”
“Easy to say when your legs aren’t the ones cramping up,” Rainbow grumbled not-quite under her breath.
“It’s just a couple more minutes,” Sunset assured her. Then she swooped in to change the subject to something a bit safer. “It was really nice of your uncle to let us go camping on your land.”
Much to everyone’s shock, Star actually opted to interact with someone without using her phone. “Uncle Tor’s great like that.”
“Yeah, Cloud took me out there once,” Rainbow chimed in. “It’s a pretty cool place, I think you’ll like it. The water in the lake nearby is great, there’s plenty of forest for Fluttershy to go hanging out in and find animals and stuff, and we’re far enough into the woods that Pinkie can make as much noise as she wants without anyone telling her to keep it down.” She paused, then shrugged. “Well, except for us if it’s two in the morning and we’re trying to sleep.”
“I’m sure she knows how to exercise some self-control,” Twilight said, perhaps a touch optimistically. “Anyway, I’m really looking forward to this. We haven’t really been out camping since Camp Everfree, and that sort of...”
“Well, this time we probably don’t need to worry about the head of the camp going mad with power and rampaging around with uncontrolled Equestrian magic,” Sunset finished for her.
“Good thing, too.” Rainbow grinned and pumped a fist. “I can’t be the only one who’s pumped for a weekend with a cabin to ourselves and absolutely no adult supervision.”
“Yeah, it should be a lot of fun,” Sunset agreed. “Just remember we’re supposed to be helping out with the cleanup while we're there.”
I nodded along. “Dad is taking a youth group up there in a couple weeks, and he would like it to look reasonably presentable.”
Twilight frowned. “How bad is it?”
Rainbow shrugged. “The place looked fine last time I was up here, and Cloud’s parents aren’t exactly the types to trash the place with wild parties.” She glanced over at Star and myself. “Can’t imagine yours are, either. A priest and a head-doc aren’t the sorts to go wild.”
They were not. I cleared my throat. “The larger issue is that we just had loggers clearing out some of the old trees, and that left behind a bit of a mess.”
Star deigned to interact with the real world again. “Fire hazard. Biggest stuff’s gone, but there’s a lot of little stuff and leftovers that need cleanup. Can stock up on firewood from the trees the loggers didn’t want, too.”
“Are those the same guys that one friend of Fluttershy’s was protesting against?” Sunset asked.
“Yeah, Tree Hugger.” Rainbow sighed and shook her head. “I swear, with a name like that it’s like her parents wanted to predestine her to be an environmentalist hippie.”
“She seemed nice enough,” Sunset murmured. “Just a little ... um ... spacey.”
“S’one word for it,” Rainbow murmured. “I mean, I guess she’s not bad or anything, and she’s so laid back it doesn’t bug me when Flutters invites her along for stuff. Just ... I dunno. I wouldn’t really hang out with her or anything if she wasn’t along with Fluttershy.”
“So not on your friends list as much as your friend-of-a-friend list,” Star said. “Guess that explains why she’s not tagging along for the cleanup. Dad and Uncle Tor were gonna pay some landscapers to do it, but then we got volunteered.”
“Oh.” Twilight frowned thoughtfully. “Hopefully that won’t be too bad to deal with.”
I shook my head. “Considering there are eleven of us, the work should go quickly.”
Sunset grinned. “Especially when we can use a little magic to speed things up. I say as soon as we get there we get everything taken care of so we can get that out of the way and just enjoy ourselves for the rest of the weekend.”
“Sounds good to me,” Rainbow groaned and rubbed her legs. “Getting a little exercise would be nice after being cooped in a car for a couple hours.”
“So what’s it like out there?” Sunset asked. “Anything special about it?”
“Just a lot of wilderness,” Rainbow answered. “The next cabin isn’t for miles, and that’s just a shack the logging companies use whenever they’re working in the area.” She smirked. “So don’t worry if you hear any chainsaws off in the distance, it doesn’t mean we’re about to be the stars of Splattergoria XIII. So looking forward to that, just two more weeks ‘til it’s out. Think we could make a movie night outta it?” She held up a hand to cut off any objections. “Assuming Fluttershy’s okay with skipping? Hate to leave her out, but...”
“Yeah, that’s not her kind of movie.” Sunset sighed and shook her head. “And we already nearly scared her off from movie night entirely after the last ... incident.”
Twilight flushed and sank down into her seat. “The book won a lot of awards, and it was an animated movie about rabbits! I thought she’d like it!”
“I thought it was awesome,” Rainbow chimed in. “Never knew rabbits could be so hardcore. Though I guess if it’s my kinda movie, that’s a warning sign that it might be a bit too intense for ‘Shy.”
“We all make mistakes,” Sunset concluded. “Let’s just learn from it and move on.”
“Next time, GTS before you watch it,” Star murmured, not even looking up from her phone.
I turned off the highway and started heading down a gravel road into the woods. The sudden explosion of green as the jeep went beneath the canopy was almost disorienting. Sunset rolled down a window and grinned. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about how isolated we are. There’s not even a paved road.”
“Welcome to the middle of nowhere.” I slowed down a bit more, just to be safe. “It is great land for camping, especially since Uncle Tor and Aunt Nim loaned us enough milspec camping equipment to live out here if we really wanted to.”
Twilight smiled and nodded. “I do like the idea of being well prepared. I’m pretty sure I brought everything I needed.” She pulled out her phone and started swiping through several pages of notes and lists just to be sure.
Sunset groaned and leaned back in her seat. “I won’t complain after what happened at our last campout.” She grimaced, and an irritated growl entered her voice. “You’d think a brand new tent that says it’s waterproof would be able to handle a little rain.”
“That was way more than a little rain,” Rainbow pointed out. “The swimming hole overflowed and flooded our camp. The water was so cold it could’ve given us hypothermia.” She snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “And that’s why we don’t camp out at Applejack’s anymore. That, and we all got sick of only eating apples.”
“Unless you like MREs, eating acorns or feel like hunting, you will not find any food in the woods at our cabin,” I let her know. “On the bright side, these tents are good for anything short of a hurricane, and if the weather gets too rough we can always fall back and stay in the cabin.”
“Sounds good.” Sunset grinned. “Roughing it a little bit is fine, but there are limits.”
“We do have electricity and WiFi,” I assured them. “You can tell by the fact that Star’s head hasn’t exploded the instant she was cut off from the internet.”
Star shrugged, not even bothering the look up from her phone. “I’ve got a cantenna and backup batteries just in case.”
Rainbow grinned. “I don’t know if Star is capable of surviving in a low-tech environment. Cutting her off from the internet would be like making Fluttershy watch Splattergoria or forcing Rarity to wear plaid.”
“What’s so bad about plaid?” Star actually looked up from her phone from that. Probably because she loved her flannel shirts almost as much as her phone.
Rainbow shrugged. “Nothing, just ... um, everyone says plaid is really unfashionable, and Rarity is super into fashion. So, you know...”
“Bandwagon fallacy.” Star went back to tapping on her phone, but she didn’t drop the conversation. “Flannel breathes without giving up too much heat, doesn’t stifle like synthetics, pairs well with most undershirts, is machine-washable on any setting, and goes well with pretty much any set of work pants. Also, the colors look better. Plaid's been around for longer than written history—they’ve dug up bodies from almost three thousand years ago wearing it. Oh, and did you know that the very first color photograph ever taken was of a plaid ribbon?”
Rainbow blinked and stared at her. “Holy crap, you know a lot about plaid.”
Star smirked and tapped her phone a couple more times. A second later Rainbow’s phone buzzed, and she picked it up. “Cute. A gif saying my Google-fu is weak. You know you could’ve just said that out loud with a lot less trouble than finding a gif and sending it to me.”
“Maybe it’s less effort for you,” Star murmured.
“It’s only a matter of time before Star gets that phone implanted directly into her brain,” I remarked.
Star scoffed and rolled her eyes. “With how fast these things get outdated? I’d be getting brain surgery every six months. Plus they’d probably put out a buggy update that’d make me punch myself in the face all the time or something.”
“Would that be a bug or a feature?” I quipped. Star scowled and angrily tapped at her phone, making mine buzz a moment later. “Driving, I cannot check it.”
“It’ll be worth the wait.” Star shifted in her seat so she could focus entirely on her phone without any risk of making eye contact with me.
Twilight chuckled and pulled out her own phone. “I’m surprised we can actually get a cell phone signal this far away from civilization.”
“Reception can be a bit spotty,” I warned them. “There might be some spots with no signal, but usually a bit of wandering around will be enough to fix it.”
Rainbow grinned. “You might not be as bad about it as Star is, but we know how much you hate to get cut off from all your science tools.”
“They’re incredibly useful,” Twilight offered in her own defense. “Really, I’m so used to having access to them that it’s weird not to.”
“I know what you mean.” Sunset chuckled and pulled out her phone. “I spent most of my life in a place where phones don’t even exist, and even I start feeling off if I can’t use mine for a while. Made my last visit to Equestria a bit weird whenever I wanted to text someone or do a quick internet search for some fact-checking.”
Star shrugged. “Like I said, my cantenna should get us taken care of. And if it doesn’t, I can always get my drone set up as a signal booster.”
Twilight grinned. “I saw you loading it up. Is that one of the new F1X3Rs?”
“Sure is,” Star confirmed with a proud grin. “I know they’re not quite as good out of the box as some of the other brands, but nobody buys an F1X3R to run it stock. There’s no point in having one if you haven’t modded it like crazy.”
“I am sure you have used it to find several dozen new ways to violate everyone’s privacy rights,” I groused.
Star shrugged. “If you have something you feel like you need to hide, you probably shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. Besides, not like I need a drone to figure out all your secrets, Skunky.”
“You are such a creeper.”
“But I’m not crazy,” Star shot back. “Mom’s an expert, and she had me tested. Not my fault if people post their private info somewhere public because they’re idiots about protecting their personal information.”
“But that does not mean you should go looking for it,” I countered. “And I doubt you limit yourself to publicly available information.”
Star rolled her eyes. “I’m not stupid. If I tried to hack into some government or corporate database I’d bounce off all the security, and they’d catch me in an instant. Unless I used half a dozen proxies linked to a burner phone that was registered under a fake name tied to falsified credit card information...” She paused in tapping at her phone for a second. “Strictly a hypothetical answer, of course.”
I scowled at her as best I could without taking my eyes off the road. “Star, I swear, one of these days you’re going to—”
“Hate to interrupt you two having another sibling-off,” Rainbow cut in, “but isn’t that the cabin right up there?”
I blinked and returned my full attention to driving, realizing that I’d almost missed the turn-off for our cabin. I quickly slowed down and made it, heading down the driveway before coming to a stop in front of it. Calling it a cabin might have been a slight misnomer; it was built in the style of a classic log cabin, but most cabins weren’t two stories tall with an attic. The extra space was rather needed whenever we had a large family gathering or when Dad used it for one of his youth programs.
As soon as I pulled to a stop Rainbow bolted out the door, groaning and stretching her legs. “Woo! Space! How I missed you!” She started jogging in place, then transformed into a prismatic blur as she circled around the cabin several times.
“Someone went a little stir-crazy,” Sunset remarked.
“I’m half surprised she didn’t run here to start with,” Twilight agreed. “Maybe she was afraid of ruining her shoes again, but it’s not like she couldn’t bring a spare pair.”
“At least she is in a better mood now.” I opened up the back of the jeep. “Everyone get your gear. That includes you, Star—if you want to bring so many electronic toys for a simple camping trip, you can haul them all in yourself.”
Star rolled her eyes. “Like I’d trust you with carrying my stuff,” She grabbed an especially large backpack and pulled it on, then tucked her drone under one arm and her cantenna under the other. “Have to make a second trip for the rest of it.”
Twilight smiled and stepped over. “I can get the rest, I only brought my backpack.” She reached down and grabbed Star’s heavy reinforced tech carrying case, grunting a bit as she strained to pick it up. A second later her hands started glowing as she applied her magic to the task instead, but the sudden absence of all that weight sent her staggering backwards.
My hands were free, and I instinctively caught her before she fell on the ground. “Are you alright?”
“I’m okay.” She glanced up at me and flushed slightly. “Oh. Hi. Sorry. Arms. Falling into. Clumsy.” She tried to laugh, but it sounded painfully awkward.
“It is fine.” I gently helped her steady herself. Then I stood there, feeling faintly embarrassed and extremely self-conscious. I was not sure why. She stumbled, and I caught her before she fell. That was perfectly ordinary. So why did I feel like everyone was staring at me and judging me for having done so? And why was I struggling to think of anything to say to her, while also feeling like it was extremely urgent I say something?
Before I could come up with anything, Star came running over. “Hey, careful with my stuff, Skunky! If you break that you pay for it!”
“I did not even touch it,” I grumbled. I had only touched Twilight Sparkle. She had been very warm. Surprisingly so.
“Sorry.” Twilightly sheepishly passed over the case. “I was just trying to help.”
Star snatched it away from her, grunting a bit at the weight as she cradled it against her chest. “Didn’t ask you to help.”
“Star!” I grabbed her by the elbow as she started to turn away. “She is a guest here. You could at least try to be a bit hospitable.”
Star blinked and stared at me for a second, then turned back to Twilight and ducked her head, not making eye contact. “Right. Sorry. Kinda protective of my tech. Especially when Mom and Dad weren’t sure about getting some of this for me in the first place because of the cost, and would probably read me the riot act if anything happened to it.”
“It’s okay.” Twilight’s shoulders slumped a bit, though she tried to force a smile “Sorry, I ... think I’ll just go over here then, and leave your stuff alone.”
Star shuffled back, her eyes dropping down. “Look, sorry I snapped at you. It’s expensive and I don't really like others handling it. You know how it goes.” She coughed and looked over her shoulder. “Anyway, the cabin's ready, so, uh...” She frowned and stood there for a couple seconds. “Um, want me to get your backpack while I’m on my way in?”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Twilight refused to meet her eyes, staring down at the ground.
“Okay.” Star looked down at her case for a more seconds. “I was just ... yeah.” She sighed and shook her head, murmuring under her breath, “What I get for trying to talk in meatspace.” She got out her phone and started tapping at it as she headed into the cabin.
I cleared my throat and tried to fix the damage Star had caused. “Allow me.” I took her bag without any trouble; compared to all the camping gear it was fairly light. One thing I could say for private military education: I had a lot of experience at walking long distances carrying heavy loads of gear. Adding one more bag to my load for the cabin barely even made a difference, and it should hopefully make her think better of me than Star. I did not want my sister to leave Twilight with a poor impression of us.
Twilight blinked as I got her bags. “Oh. Um, thanks.” She followed along behind me as I carried everything into the cabin. I just set everything in the foyer; we had yet to decide where things would be stored and who would be sleeping where. I was not even sure how we would want to divy up sleeping space, beyond a few obvious things like Cloud and Rainbow doubtlessly planning to share a tent.
As if summoned by my thoughts, Cloud pulled into the driveway. Rainbow grinned and zipped over to open up the driver’s side door for her. “Hey, slowpoke. I thought I was gonna be stuck waiting forever!”
Cloud climbed out and slugged her shoulder. “Hey you. Guess I should be flattered you’re this antsy after a couple hours away from me.”
“S’not like it’s a one-sided thing,” Sparkler chimed in as she got out of the passenger seat. “For the whole trip Cloud’s been pining for you like a parrot for the fjords. S’why you got booted to Storm’s jeep, would’ve been a huge distraction the whole time.”
Cloud and Rainbow both rolled their eyes in near-perfect unison before Cloud grinned and waved at me. “Hey Storm, we still planning to use this trip to quietly get rid of the brat duo?”
“We do have plenty of places to hide the bodies,” I agreed. “Though we might have brought a few too many witnesses.”
Cloud grinned. “After being stuck out here with Sparks and Star for an entire weekend, I think they’ll be happy to make the jump from witnesses to accomplices.”
“I feel the love,” Sparkler deadpanned. “Like a knife, right in my back.”
Applejack came in right behind Cloud, driving her farm truck along with most of our tools. She hopped out of the cab with a grin, surveying the damage left behind by the loggers. “Just a lotta little stuff to clean up, ain’t nothin’ a little work can’t fix. Ah’ve dealt with worse after a storm hits the orchards, and that’s just with me, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom.”
“So how long do you think it’ll take?” Sunset asked.
“You are the one who knows the most about this sort of thing,” Rarity added as she slid out of the passenger side of Applejack’s truck.
She frowned and looked the scene over, rubbing her chin. “If Ah hadta guess, Ah’d say maybe two, three hours. Which probably makes it closer to four whenever things go wrong, ‘cause they always do. ‘Course, that’s without figuring magic into it.”
Twilight smiled and nodded along. “Not everyone’s powers will be useful here. Sorry Sunset and Cloud, but I don’t think we’ll need to read minds or shoot anything. But obviously Applejack can carry the heavy stuff, Rarity and I can get to anything over ground level, and Rainbow’s speed is just useful no matter what.”
“What about me?!” Pinkie cried out as she got out Cloud’s backseat. “I can, I dunno, blow up anything we need to get rid of?”
“I’m not sure blowing things up would make the place cleaner,” Sunset pointed out.
“Ah wouldn’t be so quick to say that,” Applejack cut in. “Odds are we’re gonna have a ton of leftover wood to burn off, an’ smaller chunks of wood burn up a lot quicker than big logs. Still need enough to keep a proper fire goin’ for the campout and keep the slash piles properly set up, but as long as she can keep the kabooms smallish they’d help a lot. Heck, that’d be handy for clearing out stumps too.”
Pinkie grinned. “Turn big logs into little logs without kersploding everyone, check.”
Rarity smiled and started hauling her first four bags towards the cabin. “Well, best of luck with that. I’ll make you all something to snack on and get some cold drinks for us while you all get started.”
Rainbow smirked and nudged Applejack. “Told you she’d try to find an excuse to get out of all the hot sweaty dirty outside work.”
Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, only question was how quick she’d do it.”
Rarity shot both of them a withering glare. “Are you sure you want to insult the person who’s going to be making your food, darlings?”
Sunset swooped in to settle the disagreement before it boiled over. “I could use something to eat, and I bet everyone else is pretty hungry after the road trip. Thanks, Rarity.”
Sparkler grinned and started following behind her. “Tell you what, I’ll give emotional support and taste-test everything she makes.”
Cloud snagged her by the back of her shirt before she could get away. “Not so fast, brat.”
Rainbow grinned. “Yeah, Rarity gets away with it ‘cause she’s actually pretty good with food and ‘cause she’d be so miserable doing dirty outdoor work it’d bring the mood down for everyone. You’re just being lazy.” She smirked and turned to Applejack. “What’s the most unpleasant task we have to do? Cuz I think Sparkler just volunteered for it.”
Cloud chuckled. “Pretty sure Dad asked us to set up a compost heap, and Sparkler has a natural talent for piling up a load of crap.”
Sparkler groaned and rolled her eyes. “Everyone sees these two are totally bullying me, right? Shouldn’t you do some magical friendship thing to fix it and teach them a lesson about how they should be nice to me and not ask me to do chores?”
Cloud scoffed. “Nah, we’re just teaching you about hard work and responsibility. Think of it as your way of paying me back for saving your life while you were packing up. I don’t know what made you think trying to sneak off with some of Mom’s microbrews was a good idea, but if she’d found out you’d be lucky to just get grounded out of going on the trip and doing all the chores for a month.”
Sparkler sighed. “Oh come on, what’s the point of having a big teenage getaway with no adult supervision if we still have to follow all the rules? Movies and TV told me I’m supposed to get drunk, do drugs and have lots of sex the instant Mom and Dad aren’t there to stop me.”
“We are not going to be having that kind of weekend,” I cut in. “There will be nothing but good clean fun once the work is over, and the wildest I expect we’ll get is staying up way too later playing games and talking. Now then, we should draw up some sort of game plan to get the work done as fast as possible.”
“So we need a list? Pinkie grinned and pointed to Twilight. “‘Cause lists are her jam. But don’t put jam on her lists, ‘cause then they get all messy and she gets super-grumpy, though it’s not too bad as long as you explain that it was an accident because you like a lot of jam on your sandwich and really she shouldn’t have a super-important list on the lunch table anyway, ‘cause duh—accidents are gonna happen.”
Twilight waited until Pinkie was done with her tangent before pulling out her phone. “I actually talked things over with Applejack beforehand to get some idea of where to start. I’ll need to make a few revisions now that we’ve seen the actual conditions on the ground, but that’s just a few minor tweaks. After that it’s just a matter of assigning jobs to people according to their talents so that everything will get done in the most efficient manner possible. Naturally the people with applicable magic will get priority job assignments since they’ll have the biggest advantage, while everyone else will take what’s left.”
“Stupid magical powers,” Sparkler grumbled under her breath. A second later she smirked. “So, question: the working theory is that Cloud got magic powers ‘cause she and Rainbow have been going at it like two of Fluttershy’s rabbits, right? ‘Cause if that’s all it takes to get magic powers ... well I’m not sure where I sit on the gay-bi-straight continuum, but I can definitely fake it for a quickie if it lets me shoot lightning outta my fingers after.”
Everyone stared at with varying levels of disgust and exasperation, myself included. Twilight summed up everyone’s thoughts as she made a note on her list. “Aaand Sparkler gets to make the compost pile.”
True to Applejack’s prediction, there was still a fair bit of work to be done when we hit the two hour mark, mostly on account of a particularly nasty thin little thorn-covered vine that seemed to have sprouted up almost everywhere a tree had fallen. Twilight had to make a few more schedule changes to make sure only people with heavy pants worked there. Sparkler’s one attempt at clearing a patch in her customary short-shorts had ended with her retreating after less than a minute, with Fluttershy needing to treat several small cuts on her legs. Eventually we unleashed Pinkie on any large patches we found. A few of her explosions reduced most of the vines to mulch.
When we found a particularly large group of vines clustered around a stump that resisted Pinkie’s efforts at destruction, Applejack hit upon another solution. “Ah reckon we just found the perfect place to set up a slash pile. That’ll see to ‘em.”
“When in doubt, fire fixes everything,” Sparkler agreed.
“It seems as good a place as any,” I concurred, grabbing a cold bottle of water off one of Rarity’s hovering diamond-shaped fields. Strange as it was to see snacks and water bottles hovering around the area on magical platforms, the benefits were hard to dispute. Even if she was not out here getting her hands dirty, Rarity was undeniably helping out by making it much easier for the rest of us to work.
“Welp let’s get to it.” Applejack grabbed two large logs and started hauling them over. “Twi, Rainbow, could y’all get the light stuff?” The two of them immediately set to the task, making me feel rather useless when each of them had gotten a dozen tree branches piled up in the time it took me to haul one over.
Between the three of them using their magic and the rest of us working along with mundane means, we had it all set up fairly quickly. Rainbow grinned and bounced on her feet. “So, want me to go get some marshmallows?”
Applejack shook her head. “Nah, this fire ain’t built right for cookin’ on it—not to mention the diesel’d ruin it.”
Rainbow gagged. “Ew, no kidding. What gives, AJ? I thought you were one of those country gals who could start the fire by rubbing two sticks together or something. Just soaking it in gas and using a lighter is doing it the lazy way.”
Applejack shrugged. “Ya’ll wanna spend an hour rubbing sticks carefully nurturing that little spark into a proper fire, you go right ahead. But if Ah’m doing it, we splash some diesel on the biggest logs, then set about half a newspaper on fire and stick it in there to get it going. We’re probably gonna have two or three more slash piles to get started ‘fore we’re done, and while Ah ain’t afraid of a little hard work, there’s no reason to go outta our way to make it harder than it has to be.”
“Just because she works harder does not preclude working smarter,” I agreed.
“Exactly.” Applejack nodded. “So, if one of ya’ll could go get the gas can outta my truck.” She snagged Rainbow’s arm before she could speed off. “At normal walking pace—if ya go tearing off like you usually do ye’re liable to spill half of it on the ground and the other half over yourself.” She smirked. “And then Cloud won’t give you the time o’ day.”
“I’m not a fan of stinky diesel girlfriends,” my cousin agreed.
“I’d wash it off,” Rainbow whined.
“Spoken like someone who ain’t never spilled diesel on themselves,” Applejack concluded with a smirk. “It takes a lot more’n soap an' water to get rid of it.”
Rainbow groaned and rolled her eyes. “Yeesh, okay, I’ll be careful.” She zoomed over to the back of the truck. “Okay, so where’s it at?”
“In the back of the truck.” Applejack called out to her. “It’s a big orange gas can, you can’t miss it.”
“Well I don’t see it!” Rainbow shouted back.
“It’s an orange plastic can that’s bigger than your head!” Applejack answered. “And that wasn’t a crack about your ego, though Ah wish it was!”
“Too slow to think of a good one,” Rainbow shot back with a smirk. She climbed into the back of her truck, poking around a bit. “Seriously though AJ, it’s not here!”
Applejack grumbled something under her breath and stomped over. “Dangit Rainbow, it’s right—huh? Where the hay is it?! You can see the cords where I had it tied down, but...”
“Maybe it fell out the back?” Pinkie suggested.
I shook my head. “You had about three gallons, right?” Applejack confirmed as much. “That would have weighed at least twenty pounds, and you had it tied down. I don’t see how it could’ve fallen out unless you left the gate open or something.”
“Maybe someone stole it?” Rainbow suggested.
Applejack shook her head. “It was there when we left the gas station. Unless someone jumped into the back of the truck while we were goin’ down the highway and stole it off us without anyone noticing anything funny...”
“Not likely,” I agreed. “And a thief that skilled would probably take something more valuable than a few gallons of fuel.”
“Huh.” Applejack stared at it for a few seconds, then glowered suspiciously Rainbow. “Ah swear, if this is one of your pranks...”
Rainbow held up her hands. “Whoa, easy there cowgirl. If it was a prank I wouldn’t give it away. Besides, what kind of prank could I even do with three gallons of gas? Drive something? Set it on fire? Make everyone’s clothes really gross and stinky?” She counted them off on her fingers. “Not even a prank, way too dangerous to be worth it, and seriously not cool—especially when you guys would spend all weekend making me pay for it.”
“They’d never find the body,” Sunset confirmed. “Especially once Rarity got her hands on you.”
Rainbow paled. “Messing with Rarity’s clothes? Yeah, I don’t have a death wish. At least Cloud would kill me quick.” She frowned and tried to shift attention off herself. “Now, if you want someone dumb enough to do a poorly thought-out prank that’d piss everyone off, Sparkler’s a good choice.”
Sparkler shook her head. “Oh hell no I’m not. I tease and joke, but I know not to cross any lines. Especially when I’m the bratty little sister half of you probably don’t even want coming along in the first place. If you do a prank that backfires they’ll just be pissed at you; if I do it, I never get invited on another trip again.”
“Well it didn’t just get up and walk off on its own,” Applejack groused.
“Not unless there’s some weird magic thing going on,” Pinkie pointed out. “Kinda like what happens any time we go anywhere together.”
Everyone grimaced and traded wary looks as an uncomfortable silence settled over the group. I cleared my throat. “We probably just put it somewhere else. I am sure we will find it if we look around for a bit.”
“Yeah, sure,” Sunset agreed. “I bet we set it down somewhere.”
We spent almost half an hour searching before we gave up, no closer to finding the gas can than we’d been when we started.