//------------------------------// // A Quite Unlosable Game // Story: Growing Up // by Alex_ //------------------------------// In all of Flurry Heart’s long life, there was nothing she had found that was more aggravating than being dismissed. She knew it well. The roll of the eyes, the flippant, ‘It’s just a phase, honey’, followed by the turning away so the bigger, more important ponies could talk. Unfortunately for Flurry, she was a teenager, so this happened often. As soon as she had earned her cutie mark more than five years ago, Flurry felt that this entitled her to an equal place in discussions with her parents. She was, in her eyes, an envoy, between two warring states of wildly different cultures and outlooks, and as a diplomat she deserved immunity and respect. Unfortunately, Flurry was afforded neither. For Flurry was at an age when all the secrets of the universe unrolled themselves before her, and suddenly everything began to make sense. Suddenly she had very clear, very strong ideas about how things were, and are, and will be; she understood how things should and should not be; she understood, for the first time, what she truly wanted and needed from life. But her parents, lacking the insight to properly appreciate this, would just dismiss her and move on. And it infuriated Flurry to no end. All her outlooks became ‘phases’, her righteous anger became ‘angst’. If she ever voiced an opinion she was being ‘rude’, but if she chose not to voice anything at all she was being ‘moody’. Her parents decided the fates of princesses and nations, but they would much rather she simply concerned herself with schoolwork. Why had the Creator given Flurry an intellect if she was never allowed to use it? And speaking of the Creator, that was another topic on which she was never allowed to express an opinion. She had once tried telling a colt at school, the son of a crystal priest, that his worldview was false and that he should start using logic and reason to formulate his opinions like she did. And she was reprimanded for it! The stinking hypocrisy of it all was just too much for Flurry to bear. They would notice her, and she wouldn’t rest until they did. They treated her like a kid; like a perennial annoyance that had grown beyond ‘cute’ but not yet reached ‘useful’. It was like one day, Flurry had just woken up in the morning transformed into some hideous insect. They had liked her when she was a filly, and one day, she knew, they would bow to her and call her ‘your majesty’ as an adult. But today was not that day. And not one of the next hundred tomorrows would be that day, if things continued. Flurry was too impatient to let things continue. So that was why she had hatched this plan in secret. Ha! – planning – just one more proof she was no longer a child. They’d all see soon – her mother, her father, the castle servants. They all looked down on her. Flurry was going to sneak out, in the middle of the night, and do something really mature. Something that nopony would ever say a ‘kid’ did. She was going to go to a bar. That way she would finally join the adult world. She would have to go incognito, of course; the crystal ponies would recognise their princess. Well, one of their princesses. Whatever. The point was that she would need a disguise. Glancing around her slightly cluttered bedroom for a few moments, she grabbed her silky black cloak and put that on. She used to wear it to Nine Inch Hooves concerts, so she could feel like she was going without permission and breaking all the rules. Of course, in actuality, she wasn’t; her mother always took her, which rather ruined the mood a bit. What ruined the mood even more was that everypony gave her mother a six-foot berth, so Flurry couldn’t ‘mosh’ or whatever it is that ponies do at concerts. But not tonight. There would be no mother tonight to scare everypony off and constantly ask if they could leave yet. This excursion would be planned and executed by Flurry herself, every step of the way. She was almost tingling with excitement just thinking of it. She’d managed to steal an ID card from one of the maids. Hopefully they looked enough alike that nopony would question it. She would go to a bar – the loudest, smokiest one she could find – and have a drink or two. Maybe even three if she was feeling wild. Flurry had never had alcohol before; her parents would not even let her taste a sip of wine on Hearth’s Warming Eve. But since it seemed like everypony was doing it, it must be great, right? She could already imagine the secrets her parents must have been hiding from her. Bars and drinking. Kissing and sex. And she was old enough for all of it now, even if her overprotective parents didn’t see it yet. That night, she waited up after everypony else had gone to sleep to set her plan into motion. She had skipped breakfast that morning by having an extra hour or two of sleep. That way she wouldn’t feel too tired tonight. Almost brimming with pride at her planning and foresight, Flurry began to slip into her long black cloak. To disguise her face she applied some of her black eyeliner and makeup from back in her goth phase. Tch, she was almost shamed to think of it now, that she had ever been a goth. How lost she was before she became an emo! She managed to sneak her way through the winding castle corridors, despite her hooves making a constant ‘click-clack’ on the polished crystal floors. By either luck or brilliant cunning – Flurry preferred to think the latter – she made it out into the cold night air. And oh, was it cold! The biting chill that snapped at her face and pulled at her cloak as soon as she left the castle’s safety made Flurry long for her bed. But, no. Part of adulthood – and princesshood – was fortitude in the face of adversity. She would battle on. The bar Flurry had in mind was not far from the castle. Whenever they had passed the place when she was a filly, her mother or father would quickly hurry them on by and not want to look towards it. That must mean it was cool, right? The place also had a far-reach scent of – something – that Flurry wasn’t quite sure of. If she had gone almost two decades without ever encountering this thing before, that must mean it was a part of the adult work that she was so desperate to break into. This logic turned what some might call an unbearable stench into, for Flurry, a mystery to solve and another adult wall to break down. With sure hooves and clear purpose, Flurry trotted across the wide and empty crystal streets. The moon looks beautiful tonight, she thought, and suddenly realised this must be the latest she had ever been out. The silence was wonderful, but the tangible taste of maturity was even more so. Entering the din and smell of the bar, Flurry bowed her head so she wouldn’t be immediately recognised. Peering through the fringe of mane hanging across her face, she looked around the room. There were ponies at the bar, ponies in the seats, ponies walking around. All of them were laughing and talking loudly, and joking with each other. Why had her parents wanted to hide this from her? She was desperate to get involved, but as she looked towards the bar and the solitary bartender chatting with two patrons, a bubble of anxiety suddenly sprung up in her stomach and sat there, slowly filling her entire torso. She found herself frozen in place. Why was she so scared now? Come on, Flurry, she told herself. You’re not a filly anymore. Just walk up to her and ask for a drink. You have the bits. Through sheer willpower alone she trotted forwards, although her legs felt as though they’d turned to lead. When she reached the bar, the mare noticed her presence, got up and walked towards her. Flurry could feel her heart beating as she spoke. “Hey there, what can I get for you?” “Err, a- err, a drink.” The very quick silence that followed made Flurry panic. “I have ID!” she blurted out. “Oh, okay, that’s good,” she mare said, perhaps a little taken aback. “So, what sort of drink do you want?” Oh no, oh no, oh no. “Err...” Say something, say something quick. “A rum and coke... please.” She wasn’t sure if she was meant to say ‘please’ in an establishment like this. And she’d heard a ‘rum and coke’ mentioned in a song once, so hopefully that was an acceptable thing to order. Apparently it was, because the barmare simply muttered ‘sure thing’ and got to work preparing it. “Single or double?” she asked. Err... “Single, please,” Flurry responded automatically. What did that mean? What was she just asked? Whether she wanted one drink or two? Well, she only wanted one for now, so a single should do fine, hopefully. It didn’t take long. “That’ll be four bits,” she said, as she slid the drink towards Flurry. Whew, this alcohol’s expensive. Still, she complied, and handed the four coins to the barmare in her magic. But she continued to look at her expectantly. “And your ID?” she eventually said. “Oh, right, sorry.” Flurry tried to awkwardly laugh it off. She pulled the ID card out of her robe and levitated it in front of the barkeep. “Butter Cup... 23...” she said, reading off the card. “And you’re an earth pony?” The ID card hit the bar with a clack as Flurry immediately stopped her magic. “Yep!” The mare gave her a bemused look for a few seconds, and Flurry was immediately terrified she’d be kicked out. But eventually she just laughed and turned around. “Whatever. Enjoy your drink.” “Oh, err, thank you!” Flurry called, deciding she was being genuine. She picked the glass up in her magic and took it to a table for two near the far corner. Hopefully she wouldn’t be disturbed there. As she lifted the glass up to her lips, another pit of apprehension formed in her stomach. She really hoped she’d like it. She would be a bit of a failure as a grown mare if she didn’t. As she lifted it ever-closer a pungent, unidentifiable scent hit her nostrils from the glass and only made her more anxious about what it would taste like. Adulthood, here I come. Gulp, gulp. It... surprisingly wasn’t that bad. It just tasted mainly like cola, something Flurry’s parents had allowed her to drink occasionally. She was pleasantly relieved. There was a strange other taste, though, which was quite unpleasant. It burned her throat a little and made her wrinkle her nose as she experienced the very beginning of disgust, but that quickly passed. The drink was certainly... drinkable. She just wished the coke wasn’t spoilt by that other taste, whatever it was. A dirty glass, maybe. But she would give it a solid seven or eight out of ten. A few more sips drained her glass, and Flurry was feeling pretty good about her first experiment with alcohol. Time to order another one, she thought. As she got to her hooves she looked around a bit. She was smiling at how well this was going. Am I drunk? I must be. I’m smiling; I must be drunk. She trotted to the bar and the mare walked over to serve her again. I’m drunk, I’m drunk, I’m drunk. This is great. Flurry felt like some great rite of passage had been finally passed. She felt like an adult – properly – for the first time in her life. Emboldened by her positive experience with the rum and coke, she decided to order a ‘lager’. It was something she’d heard her dad talking about. This one, she was pleased to discover, came in an even larger glass. That must mean it has even more alcohol! She sat down, placing the lager on the table in front of her, and began to count the bits she had left. Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven. That was plenty; she didn’t want to go wild here. If one drink could make her feel as giddy as she did now, she didn’t want to know what more than three or four could do to her. She almost jumped out of her skin when she turned back to her drink – there was another pony at the table with her. “Are you okay there?” was all he said. “Very sorry,” Flurry tried to laugh it off. “You came out of nowhere.” It was almost spooky how she hadn’t heard him approach. It was as though he’d managed to glide, not walk, to her table. “It’s okay,” he responded. “I often have that effect on ponies.” “So, ah, what is it that you want?” she asked. Adult interactions with a fellow adult! Flurry felt another shot of anxiety and excitement run through her. “Just to pass the time of day with a fellow drinker, if you’ll permit me.” She noticed that he too had a glass in front of her, although she couldn’t quite identify the brown liquid within it. “Sure!” she chirped, although she wasn’t really sure what to say. “So, ah... nice cloak.” The stallion too was wearing a long black cloak. Flurry might have been suspicious as to why he was trying to hide his identity, but given that she was dressed in a similar outfit she supposed he might have reasons as proper as hers. She couldn’t see much of his face; all she could make out was a long, thin white beard. He seemed to appreciate the compliment. “Why thank you,” he said, “although it’s nothing compared to yours.” He paused for a moment, as if considering. “Say, have you ever heard of... ‘Tirek’?” This was a strange shift in conversation topic, but Flurry decided to follow. She didn’t think she had heard of Tirek; the name seemed familiar, maybe, but she definitely couldn’t place it. “No, I don’t think so.” “Ah. Too young, maybe.” At this news, two long, thin arms reached out from under the cloak and went up towards his hood. “Oh, are you a griffon?” Flurry asked. She’d read about them in a book. The stallion gave a little chuckle. “Not quite, although you’re right, I am not a normal pony.” He grasped the edges of his hood with his hands and pulled it back a little, not enough to remove it but enough to expose his face to her. It was surprisingly ponylike, except for the white beard and somewhat sunken eyes. Oh, and the nose ring. “I’m sorry my face is not as pretty as yours,” he said, modestly. Flurry was taken aback by the compliment. “Well, well, thank you. But yours is fine too.” “Oh, but you have such a beautiful face, and such a pretty mane to go with it.” Flurry was grateful it was dark in here, because she felt like she was turning bright red. She leaned forward to take a drink from her glass, just to let this pony know that she drank alcohol. As soon as the taste hit her tongue, her whole face wrinkled in disgust. It was awful! She reluctantly gulped it down, hoping he hadn’t noticed, but he simply seemed to find it amusing. “Ah, I see you do not like beer.” “Beer? Oh no, this is lager.” He chuckled again. So, go on, you haven’t told me – what’s your name?” “I’m Flurry Heart,” she responded without thinking. It was just instinctive. “Flurry Heart? That’s a very pretty name.” She beamed again at the compliment. “But I thought earlier the barmare said your name was Butter Cup?” Shit. “Err... well... you see...” “Using fake identification, are you?” he asked. To Flurry it sounded like an accusation. She hung her head in shame. “Yes.” “Well, I think that’s very admirable. Very adult.” Flurry felt like her heart had grown two sizes. What an incredible feeling, to have somepony else say that to her! This truly was the best night of her life. “So tell me, Flurry, what kind of things are you into? What are your interests?” To Flurry, it felt like so long since somepony – anypony had expressed any interest in her and her thoughts. The sensation was addictive. It never even occurred to her that she knew nothing about her new friend, not even his name. “Well, I like music. My favourite band by far would have to be Nine Inch Hooves.” “Oh yes,” he said in apparent recognition, “I know them. Terrible Lie, that’s them, right?” “Yes!” Flurry couldn’t believe it. Someone knew what she was talking about! He didn’t just refer to them as a ‘racket’ like her father did, or her interests as a ‘phase’ like her mother. He truly cared. He even bought her drinks – more rums and coke. These, apparently were a ‘double’ – they tasted far more unpleasant than the one she’d had earlier, but that didn’t matter. Somepony else was buying them for her! That was enough to sweeten any unfamiliar tastes. As the night rolled on, she found herself enjoying it even more and more and more. She didn’t even know what the time was anymore, and she didn’t care. When was the last time she’d had a friend – a genuine friend, who didn’t know that she was a princess and around whom she could be herself? She wasn’t sure if she’d ever had one. He laughed at her jokes, expressed interest in her hobbies, and made her feel like a... mare, for the first time in her life. It was several hours later when the place finally started to close. Flurry could not contain her disappointment. “We could go back to my house, if you’d like,” her new friend suggested. “It’s not far.” “I don’t know if that’s a good idea...” What would her mother do if she knew she’d snuck out? “Well, we could go to yours if you’d rather.” Flurry thought about the castle, the servants, her parents. “Yeah... no. That’s not possible.” As much as she hated to admit it, this might have to be the end for now. “But we could keep in touch.” He paused for a moment, seeming to consider something. Flurry pushed herself to her hooves and giggled as she realised just how heavily the world was spinning. Woah! It was like there was this weird – pressure – pushing on her head. She had never felt like this before. “Flurry, wait,” he called. She turned back to look at him. “I think we’ve really got on well tonight, you know,” he said. “Absolutely!” ‘Well’ wasn’t even the word for how Flurry felt. “Well, it seems like a shame to break it up now, doesn’t it?” he asked. “I don’t know, it is pretty late...” “Flurry. Flurry, I think I love you.” What? Had she heard that right? Surely he hadn’t said what she just thought he said. The world around her seemed to stop as she tried to process what she’d heard, made much harder in her current condition. Was this... was this what love is? Two strangers, meeting in a bar, making a connection? Flurry wasn’t really sure. Love, like alcohol, was something she’d never experienced before tonight, so she didn’t have any idea what to make of it at all. She definitely felt great. Amazing, even. Was this love? Had she found love? She... didn’t know. “Come back to mine,” he implored. “I can show you around, and you can spend the night.” Did... did that seem like a good idea? Flurry’s ‘good idea’ meter felt like it was shot. Still, she was out to experience as much of the adult world as possible, and staying out all night was definitely a part of that. And love? She couldn’t think of a more adult emotion. “Okay,” she said. What’s the worst that could happen? “Excellent! Come on, I’ll show you the way.” As the two of them stepped out into the early morning air, Flurry was once again hit with the chill she had hitherto been sheltered from by the warm confines of the pub. It was starting to become light out; far to the east the sun had begun her morning journey. It was fitting, really – a new day’s sun to welcome the new chapter in her life. She was a filly no longer: she was an adult, now. The crystal streets and houses looked strange, almost foreign, through these new eyes. She staggered along behind her companion. “Looks like a new dawn has come already,” she said. “Yes, it certainly does,” replied Tirek.