//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Screw Loose // by neutralmilk //------------------------------// Chapter 1 “Blank Flanks!” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon mocked in unison at their classmates Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The orange pegasus before them puffed her chest defensively out while the others dropped their heads in shame. “You want some of this?” Scootaloo said, attempting to sound threatening. Diamond Tiara watched, snickering, as Scootaloo unfolded her small wings to their full length and buzzed them excitedly. “Oh puh-lease, put those things away.” Silver Spoon waved a hoof dismissively at the Cutie Mark Crusaders and turned to her friend. “We dealt with enough chickens for one day when we fed Mr. Bockbagock at Mr. Waddles’ farm.” Diamond Tiara added, smirking at Silver Spoon. The pair started laughing again and turned to walk away, but not before watching Scootaloo shy away and retreat with the rest of the Crusaders back to their clubhouse. “Good one, Diamond!” Silver Spoon chirped, trotting alongside the pale magenta filly. “I know it was.” Diamond Tiara returned with a smile. “My Daddy has been teaching me how to talk to the… ‘underprivileged.’” “Your Daddy taught you to insult other ponies?” silver Spoon stopped in her tracks, a confused look on her face. “What? No, no, no! He told me to be kind and courteous to everypony I meet! But I’ve heard him talk to his workers in the factory and every time he meets with them he says mean things and they walk out of his office calling him ‘Mr. Rich’ and they work super extra hard!” Silver Spoon fixed her glasses and pondered the thought for a moment. “I guess that makes sense…” She shrugged and they continued down the dirt path from their school into the heart of Ponyville, the two fillies talking the entire way. “…And then my maid says: ‘But Ms. Tiara! That’s not a kangaroo! That’s a platypus!’” Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara fell to the ground, laughing loudly. The fillies gasped for air as tears poured down their cheeks. “I-I ca-I can’t breathe, bahahahaha!” Silver Spoon cried, clutching her sides as she rolled on the grass, hiccups occasionally interrupting her laughter. Passersby watched the duo with confusion but ultimately left them alone, chalking it up to fillies being fillies. “Oh Celestia, that was hilarious!” Silver Spoon said, finally calming down enough to complete a coherent thought without laughing. She rose to her hooves and brushed the dirt off her coat. “Oh, you really should have been there, Silver.” Diamond Tiara smiled at her friend gleefully. “Speaking of which, are you coming over my house today? Daddy says I can have a friend over since I’ve been so good lately.” Silver Spoon’s smile sank. “Well, uh, actually…” The filly began kicking her hooves in the dirt, not sure how to say what was on her mind. “I can’t come over to play today.” “What? Why not?” Diamond Tiara was taken aback. Her friend always was always able to go over her house and did so quite often. “Well… I’ve kinda been meaning to tell you this lately, but I guess I kept forgetting to.” Silver Spoon began again. She paused and glanced at her surroundings, taking in the sights and sounds of the bustling Ponyville marketplace. “My Dad’s going on this big work trip to Seaddle.” “Wow, that’s really cool! How long is he going to be there for?” Diamond Tiara smiled cheerfully at the gray earth pony. “Oh, well the whole summer.” Silver Spoon kicked at the dirt some more, a large dust cloud billowing up from the ground and flying directly into the fillies faces. The two coughed awkwardly. “Well who are you staying with then?” Diamond Tiara asked, taking her tiara off of her head and blowing dust off of it. “That’s the problem… I, well, have to go with him.” “W-what?!” Diamond Tiara looked her friend, surprised. She hated to admit it, but Silver spoon was her best (and only) friend. Losing her for a whole summer would be appallingly boring, if not entirely unbearable. Silver Spoon looked back at Diamond Tiara sadly. “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d get upset.” She explained, guilt tinting her voice. “Upset?” Diamond Tiara put on a false smile party to reassure her friend as well as herself. “Why would I get upset? Sure this puts a… a damper on some of my plans, but I’m sure I’ll find something fun to do while you’re away!” Silver Spoon looked up at the filly’s foolish grin and laughed softly. “You sure you’re okay with me leaving?” Her voice was quiet and cautious, her caring side bleeding through her normally cold and prissy demeanor. Diamond Tiara tried to resist the urge to pull her friend into a hug but decided against it. “Silver Spoon, you’re my best friend. Of course I don’t want you to leave. But since you have to, I’ll have to make it here without you until you get back.” The two fillies embraced each other in the middle of the Ponyville market, ignoring the bystanders and confused glances . “I mean, seriously, how hard can it be to have fun all by myself?” “I’m so booooooored!” Diamond Tiara groaned loudly, flailing her hooves wildly in the air. She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling and silently praying for something, anything, to happen. She glanced at the toy chest in the corner of her room, now empty, its contents strewn about all over the floor. Everything’s so much more fun with Silver Spoon. She thought to herself, pouting. The filly sighed and pulled a pillow over her face to block out her vision of the dismal ceiling. I miss her. Suddenly Diamond heard a sharp knock come from outside her bedroom door. “Diamond Tiara, you get out here right this instant!” She recognized the voice instantly as her Father’s and hurriedly cast aside the pillow. “Coming Daddy!” she replied quickly, dashing from her bed to the door. “And that room had better be immaculate, missy!” Diamond Tiara stopped in her tracks and eyed the heaping pile of toys, board games, and My Little Human dolls that stared back at her. She grimaced and sighed heavily. There was no way she could clean her room that quickly. “Don’t give me that tone, young lady! You have to the count of ten to come out here!” her Father bellowed from outside the bedroom. “Coming Daddy!” Diamond Tiara ran around the room, picking up every toy she could find and throwing them into a pile. “One… Two…” She looked at heap of toys sitting before her. She didn’t have enough time to put them all away in their respective shelves and toy boxes. “Three… Four…” I have no choice! She thought to herself, feeling sweat form on her brow. I gotta put them somewhere! The magenta filly glanced about the room in search of a spot to hide her possessions. Some where her beloved Daddy would never look. Ever. “Five… Six… Seven…” Diamond Tiara’s eyes darted about hurriedly and fixated on a small, wooden door on the far side of her bedroom. “The closet!” She galloped at the pile in a mad dash. “Eight… Nine…” Filthy Rich stood outside his daughter’s room tapping a hoof gently on the hardwood floor in rhythm to his counting. From beyond the door he could hear his daughter scurrying and quietly mumbling to herself. He groaned and brushed a hoof through his mane, checking his watch. “Te-” “Hi Daddy!” Diamond Tiara chirped, looking up at her Father innocently. She noticed her namesake was slightly askew and fumbled with it for a moment, finally giving up and giving him a toothy grin. Filthy Rich looked at his daughter, suspicious of the overly sweet welcome he received. He stepped into the filly’s bedroom and scanned his surroundings, noting the mess free environment and smiling. “Hmph. Spotless. What a nice surprise indeed. But honey, we need to talk.” He guided his daughter to her bed and sat down beside her. She leaned on him lovingly and he let out a soft chuckle. “What is it Daddy?” Diamond Tiara asked sweetly. “Diamond, I heard about Silver Spoon leaving with her Father to Seaddle for the summer.” The filly sighed heavily. “Yeah, I miss her.” “I know you do, sweetie. But I have some news for you.” Filthy Rich straightened himself on the bed and cleared his throat. “About an hour ago Mr. Spoon called me asking me to join him for half of the summer in order to help manage and, well, secure his investments.” Diamond Tiara snuck a look at the smile growing on her Father’s face. She knew what was coming. She just needed to play her cards correctly and she’d be joining him first class. Diamond put on a mock frown and stared down at the floor. “W-wow. I sure wish I could go with you.” She muttered sadly. Filthy Rich’s smile grew wider as he placed his foreleg around his frowning daughter. “Well…” Diamond Tiara hugged her Daddy tightly and hid her grinning face. She struggled to contain her excitement. “Seeing as you’ve been such a good filly lately, with only seven calls home from Ms. Cheerilee in the past three weeks and you actually managed to clean your bedroom, I think I may be able to squeeze you on the train with me to Seaddle.” Filthy Rich had hardly finished speaking when Diamond Tiara broke free from her Daddy’s grip and jumped into the air, squealing happily and a large smile plastered on her face. “Oh, Daddy, yesyesyesyesyes! Oh thank you so so sooooo much!” She wrapped her forelegs around his neck and kissed his cheek. Filthy Rich lightly hugged her and started laughing. “Of course we’ll need to start packing. The train leaves tomorrow bright and early!” He dropped from the bed and composed himself, ignoring his daughter’s continuing joyous shouts. “Now where’s your suitcase?” “In the closet, Daddy!” Diamond Tiara blurted out, blinded by excitement. She hopped on her bed joyously, thinking about all the fun she and Silver Spoon were going to have in Seaddle. In the closet, Daddy… The words echoed in her head. Suddenly her smile dropped from her face and she stopped bouncing dead in her tracks. The closet! She turned and watched in slow motion as her Dad trotted over to the closet and turned the doorknob, entirely oblivious to the mound of toys crammed behind the wooden door. “Daddy, no!” She stuck her hoof out dramatically; but it was far too late. Filthy Rich yelped in surprise as an avalanche of discarded toys poured from behind the now open door onto him. Diamond Tiara stared, mouth agape at one of his hooves twitching sporadically, if somewhat comically, from underneath the mass of toys. “Ummm, Daddy? Are you alright?” No response. His hoof twitched again. Diamond Tiara waited a minute and clambered off of her bed onto the hardwood floor. She slowly trotted toward the open closet and poked her head inside, biting down on the handle of a small, red suitcase. “I, uh, found it, Daddy!” she proclaimed happily, a grin peeking from behind the suitcase. The silence in the room seemed deafening. “I guess I’ll get started packing then… Lemme just squeeze by here…” The filly mumbled while cautiously maneuvering herself around the mountain of toys. Just as she managed to clear the area she felt a hoof grab her tail. The filly screeched and bucked at the hoof wildly, turning only to find her beloved Daddy staring back at her, a black eye and a frown ornamenting his serious face. “Ummm… hee hee?” Diamond Tiara attempted to put on the sweetest face she could muster, but in her fearful state produced an awkward grin. Sweat formed on her brow as she watched Filthy Rich slowly rise from the toy pile as if a zombie from the grave. Panic set in and she fought the urge to run away, instead choosing to trot to her Father’s side and plant a kiss on his nose. “Oh, um sorry Daddy!” Filthy Rich glared down at his daughter, seething with anger. Although he didn’t speak, his message was clear enough to the purple filly who dropped her suitcase and quietly kicked it away from them. “Diamond,” the stallion began fixing his mane with his front right hoof, which was shaking with uncontrollable rage. “What is… this?” He motioned a hoof to encompass the entirety of the mess. “It’s… I… I was so bored!” Diamond Tiara explained defensively. She stomped a hoof down and puffed her chest out in an attempt to gain some sort of dominance. “Ever since Silver Spoon left I’ve had nopony to play with!” That’s good, Diamond. She told herself, an indiscernible smile of pride growing on her face. Play the victim and Daddy will have to understand! “That may be the sorriest excuse I have ever heard!” Diamond Tiara’s confident demeanor instantly disappeared as she fell flat on her back, startled by her Father’s outburst. “Silver Spoon left five hours ago!” Diamond Tiara quickly glanced on a clock that hung on her wall. Indeed her best friend had only boarded her train a short time before. Hm. Should’ve thought that out more. Filthy Rich stomped a hoof on her floor, snapping her attention back to her raging Father. “You’re telling me that you’ve been so bored in one day that you’ve demolished your room already? And then you not only leave it a mess, but you try to cover it up and lie to me just so you could go on a vacation?!” He brought himself eye to eye with the filly, which only served to scare her even more. She tried to back away but found herself glued to the spot. “Y-yes Daddy.” Diamond Tiara stuttered. She dropped her head, fighting back the urge to cry. “I-I-I’m really sorry.” Filthy Rich sighed and brushed his hoof through his mane again. “Sorry or not, you can’t come with me to Seaddle. Enough is enough. You need to stay here and think about what you’ve done.” Diamond Tiara felt her heart break as a single tear fell to the floor. Ignoring his daughter, Filthy Rich raised a hoof to his chin. “Now where am I going to find a babysitter to watch you for two months on such short notice…?” Ding dong! Diamond Tiara raised her head at the sound of the doorbell echoing throughout her home. The magenta filly sighed; undoubtedly it was her newest babysitter waiting to be let in. She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling and waited for the sounds of her Fathers hooves to approach the front door and greet the new pony. However, the house was entirely silent, save the sound of her own breathing and the faint knocking of a hoof on the oak door. She sighed heavily and listened again as the babysitter rang the doorbell and continued to thump on the door. “Daddy?!” she called into the silent house. “There’s somepony at the door!” A minute passed and still the babysitter was outside, ringing the doorbell incessantly. Remembering that her Father had left for the train station shortly before, the filly groaned at her misfortune and slowly dropped from her bed. She flicked her tiara into place and slowly walked to the front door, her hooves dragging behind her. As she reached the large oak door a feeling of caution washed over her. What if it’s not the babysitter! she thought to herself. What if it’s… it’s a griffin! Or a draconemahnamahnas or whatever Discord was! Images of a villainous beast entering her home crossed through her head as she stood in front of the door, listening to the incessant knocking. I’d have to fight him off! I don’t think I could to that! Better play it safe and wait for it to leave… Diamond Tiara stood by the door eying it vigilantly, wishing she was tall enough to glance through the peephole and check who was standing directly outside her home. Almost as if she were glued to the spot, she gazed at the door, listening to the rhythmic raps from the other side until they ceased. The magenta filly waited a minute for the knocking to start up again, but was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t. A smile crawled onto her face as she turned her back to oak door and began trotting toward her bedroom. “Crisis averted. Good job Diamond Tiara.” She congratulated herself. “If only Daddy were here to see me now!” Suddenly Diamond Tiara heard the front door creak open slowly. She stopped in her tracks, her heart racing. Wasn’t the front door locked?! She thought to herself quickly, too terrified to turn around and see whom or what was entering her house. She trembled violently as the sun’s rays beamed through the open doorway, casting the shadow of a unfamiliar pony, its mane and tail billowing similarly to those of the Princesses. Images of horrible outcomes shot through her mind as she tried desperately to gallop away from the intruder. She listened as the sound of hooves echoed throughout the hallway, no doubt from the pony who was previously outside. Diamond Tiara gulped and felt sweat form at her brow as she waited her imminent demise at the hooves of this mysterious fiend. “Hey lil’ sis!” an all too familiar voice called out to Diamond Tiara. Instead of relief, a wave of dread poured over the filly. Oh dear Celestia. That voice, it can’t be… Diamond Tiara slowly turned around to find a magenta mare standing before her, a goofy hat sitting upon her head. Screwball…