//------------------------------//
// Warning: Contains Pinkie Pie 
// Story: The Bucket of Shame 
// by axxuy 
//------------------------------//

"I'll have a double shot of whisky," Twilight said.

The bartender whistled as she poured the drink. Twilight grunted  thankfully as she took it in her magic and sipped. She coughed at the  burning in her throat, and completely missed the other mare's double  take.

"Princess‽ Princess Twilight Sparkle?" She dove into a bow.

"Don't," Twilight droned.

"I—sorry—it's just—what are you doing here? If you don't mind me asking."

"Got word of a monster here in Trottingham. My friends and I came to deal with it."

"I mean, what brings you to my bar? I'm Old Fashioned, by the way.."

Twilight thought for a while. "Pinkie Pie," she said finally.

"Ohh, she's one of your friends, right? I don't get what she has to do with this though? There's nothing wrong, is there?"

Twilight waved a hoof. "No, no—well besides the monster—she's just—mmm,  if I could explain it, my life would be a lot simpler. I'll leave it at  that." She sat for a moment, drinking. "I don't suppose you've heard  anything about what's been going on?"

Old Fashioned shook her head. "'Fraid not. I've heard that there's something moving around the city, but nopony's been able to describe it. They just scream."

Just then there was a bang and a shout from outside. "It's here!" she  said. "Just stay inside and we'll take care of it." She disappeared with  a flash.

There was not a single pony in the building that took her advice. They  all came filing out to see what had been haunting them the past weeks. 

They screamed. A lot. 

There were not many other things to do at the sight of the giant,  disembodied muzzle floating down the street. It was fuzzy and pink—a  normal nose, if it hadn't been two stories high and detached from any  owner.

"Sweet Celestia," Old said. Then she resumed screaming like everypony else.

The muzzle glided along. At the corner, down the street, a building  crumbled, debris littering the ground, where the thing had not been able  to clear the turn completely. It let its tongue hang out,  lapping up whatever came into its path. Carts and newspaper stands were  swept up and discarded. Thankfully, there were no ponies in sight to  be—Old didn't dare finish the thought—no ponies that is, except who she  realized must be the Mane Six.

A blue pegasus swooped around the thing, darting in to kick and punch.  Twilight was trying to stop it from the ground, firing blasts of magic.  Although neither had any visible effect, the screams started to be  joined by cheers. Until it became apparent the muzzle was not going to  stop before it reached them and everypony started rushing back in. Old  kept the door open, even after the last pony was in so she could keep  watching.

Twilight was right outside the bar now, walking backwards and firing  another shot with each step. Old was starting to get seriously worried  for the princess, in the part of her mind that was bothering to try to  keep track of what was going on.

She saw what seemed like desperation sneaking on to Twilight's face.  That turned to annoyance, as a violently pink mare skipped up to her  side, sucking on a lollipop.

"Took you long enough," Twilight grumbled.

"I needed supplies!" Pinkie reared up, facing the muzzle, even as its  tongue came ever closer. She put one hoof on the opposite shoulder, and  then wrenched the limb off.

Old Fashion fell down in shock. What in Celesti—she wasn't even  bleeding. It looked like liquid candy was pouring from her shoulder. It  was striped like toothpaste. Then Pinkie hurled her leg at the  creature.

The muzzle wrapped its tongue around it and took it into its mouth. It  licked its lips, and ascended into the sky with an awful purring sound.

Old Fashioned bit her lip hard, but sadly did not wake up. She just sat,  until she felt something poking her shoulder. She looked up at Twilight  holding out her empty glass.

"Pinkie Pie," she said.

Old Fashioned poured her another drink. She poured herself one too. In  the middle of it Pinkie hobbled behind the bar and opened the fridge  back there. She took out a severed leg, announced that she was going to  the hospital, and cheerfully hobbled away. Old Fashioned poured herself a  big drink.