Shinji's Nightmare

by Harry Leferts

Omake #1

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Gainax and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro.

Well now…” -Evangelion telepathy

All was quiet in the EVA cages as the only ones on duty was the night shift and they went out of their way to avoid the area at night when alone. Some of them reported that the EVAs sometimes moved and other times made noises. All dismissed by the day shift as their imaginations getting the better of them. So it was that no one was around when Unit-02’s eyes flickered as did the others, their thoughts somehow reaching each other as Kyoko starts off. ‘So… why exactly did you turn your son into a unicorn again Yui?

Unit-00’s eyes flickered. ‘Pegacorn.

Both of the other spirits focused on her as one thing comes from them. ‘What?

Unit-00 just rolls it’s eye. ‘He’s a winged unicorn. The proper term is a “Pegacorn”. You really should do some research sometime.

Yui’s spirit scowls. ‘Kind of hard to do so Naoko when the damned computers you designed won’t let me log on!’

Naoko gives the barest of shrugs, which still causes the catwalk to quiver. ‘Not my problem that they’re still hung up on that bastard husband of yours. Besides, knowing you, all you'd use it for is porn.’ Naoko then gives a small metaphorical smirk. ‘And you’re avoiding the question. How does one screw up that badly?

Yui’s scowl just grows. ‘Fuck off Naoko.

Naoko cackles some. ‘Ooo! Seems someone is a little angry.

Both of their attention is caught as Kyoko snarls at them. ‘Will you two knock it off.

Yui just sighs. ‘I have no idea as to what happened. One moment I’m releasing him and the next he’s a pegacorn thingy.

Silence falls for a moment before with a slight groan Unit-02’s head tilts minutely to the side. ‘You really don’t know?’ The feelings of frustration coming from Unit-01 and it’s growls are answer enough as Kyoko focuses on Naoko. ‘Naoko, mind giving me the data from the incident in question?

Unit-00 blinks a bit. ‘Sure, but why?

Not waiting for an answer, Naoko gives Kyoko the data. As she processes it, she mumbles. ‘Yui is the genius geneticist. You’re the computer expert. Me? I’m the master of AT Field Theory. None of you come close to knowing as much about the Spacy-wacy physics of it.

Yui gives her the most incredulous look possible. ‘”Spacy-Wacy”? Seriously Kyoko?

As Naoko leans back in Unit-00’s core with a smirk, Kyoko shrugs. ‘Don’t see you… hello!

The restraints on Unit-01 creak as it straightens some. ‘You got something Kyoko?

Kyoko grins. ‘But of course! I am THE GREATEST MASTER OF AT FIELD PHYSICS! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!’ Silence once more descends until she sighs. ‘You guys are no fun at all… like that baka of a daughter of mine. I swear, if I was her I would have taken that boy and then-

Yui just screams at her. ‘KYOKO!

The soul in question just waves her metaphorical hands. ‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever Yui.’ If anyone had been there and could have seen it, they would have been treated to the disturbing sight of all four of Unit-02’s eyes rolling. ‘Don’t get your armored panties in a twist. Anyways, the answer is simple. There’s now two souls in the same body.

There’s a few moments of silence as Yui processes this when she screams . ‘WHAT!? THERE’S AN ANGEL INSIDE MY BABY!?

Naoko blinks. ‘That actually sounds kind of dirty you know.

Yui turns to her. ‘FUCK YOU, YOU GREEN EYED BITCH!


Kyoko just sighs before yelling. ‘WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT THE FLYING FUCK UP!? Once they go silent, she sighs again. ‘Thank you.’ She then becomes serious. ‘Yui, there’s nothing to worry about. Whatever it is, it’s not an Angel. Whatever it is though, it’s AT readings are off the charts.

Naoko blinks. ‘Wait, then why didn’t they catch it?

Kyoko rolls her eyes again. ‘Has anyone ever been returned from an Evangelion before?

The other two ponder this for a minute before Naoko grunts. ‘Point.’ She then sighs. ‘By the way, they’re going to test Shinji’s Sync scores in a week. And they’re thinking of doing a cross-Sync test.

Kyoko grins a little. ‘Ooo! Nice.’ Unit-02’s eyes light up a little as the grin turns saucy. ‘I think that I finally figured out how to send images and sensations to people Syncing with me if they doze. Mind, my daughter seems to ignore them, but I think if Shinji was the one…

Unit-01’as eyes glow as Naoko’s voice takes a teasing tone itself. ‘Really now… How… interesting

Kyoko sighs. ‘Yeah, the only issue is that with him being a pegacorn, it would be bestiality.

Ignoring the steam coming from Unit-01’s closed mouth, Naoko rolls her eye. ‘Xenophilia.

Kyoko blinks. ‘What?

Naoko sighs. ‘Sexual relations with a non-human sapient would be xenophilia. Bestiality is if he was non-sapient.

Unit-02 gives the barest of nods. ‘Did not know that. Of course-

She gets cut off by Yui screaming at her in rage. ‘KEEP AWAY FROM MY SON YOU RED HAIRED WHORE!

Kyoko gives her roll of the eyes. ‘Really Yui. We’ve been in these things for ten years almost. A woman’s got needs you know.’ She then focuses on Naoko. ‘You know Naoko…’ A little bit of her tongue pokes out. ‘If you can somehow manage a connection between us I’m willing to share…’.

Naoko metaphorically grins as Yui rages in the background. ‘Good idea! I’ll see what I can do.

Unit-01’s eyes glow with unholy rage as it glares at the other two EVAs. ‘I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!