//------------------------------// // Scratching Posts // Story: Three Kittens, Two Unicorns, and a BANANA! // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Tempest was amused - though only mildly surprised - that Margo's predictions proved to be completely accurate. While her interactions with Agnes had now progressed to beyond just tea parties, her approach to her was far more 'talking unicorn' than 'pet' or 'sister', with her obsession driving her behaviors far more than any sort of familial attachment. Still, now being able to voice things made those interactions much more straight forward...and far less of a choking hazard. As predicted, interaction with Edith had barely changed at all. She still eagerly brought Tempest along for pranks or 'ninja-ing', she still involved her fully in her antics, and she continued to keep her eye out for Tempest to keep her from getting injured in the situations they got up to. In point of fact, there were only two major differences in how they interacted. First, Edith would wait for a spoken response when she turned to conspire with Tempest, instead of just waiting for a gesture response. Second...when they were caught and got in trouble, Edith would try to pin the blame on Tempest. While Tempest would always object vociferously when she did so and feign offense or outrage...she was secretly pleased, as that was definitely a sibling action. However, the first time it had happened had been the best... Edith and Tempest had once again sneaked into The Lab where Dr. Nefario and the Minions were hard at work on what Edith casually dismissed as 'science stuff'. This was because no one immediately visible appeared to be working on anything that looked to Edith like what she'd call a 'weapon', or barring that, a 'fun toy'. Tempest let Edith look around for something to grab for their 'antics' that day, while she decided to look into what she'd seen in the Overthought earlier, and what she could feel they were looking into. It didn't take long to find the area dedicated to 'Operation Star Rider', a dramatic name if ever there was one...though apparently there was some debate about whether it should be called 'Operation Bear Rodeo' instead. The Operation area was divided into several parts based on what ideas had been come up with to 'tame' an Ursa Major. The first area she came across had what looked like an odd crown-shaped contraption in front of a board with the meaning of the project written in Wingdings with bad handwriting, the font of preference for the Minions when they worked on projects specifically for Tempest. Her eyes widened as she read what was written on the board, understanding its meaning through the Overthought. Mind Control Crown Turn Star Bear into RC Warbeast! YES NO? Effective and dangerous Too evil! We are evil It's not friendship! Why small? Portable! Fit smaller heads? Project discontinued. If parts are not repurposed by time limit, place in smash quota They...certainly are thorough... she thought to herself as she finished reading the board. She then edged carefully away from the construct on the table before tossing a sheet over it to make sure Edith didn't find it and try to do something with it not knowing what it was. There were other projects within the 'Operation Star Rider' area, and Tempest decided to examine each of them to determine if there was anything she should step in and do something about, or if they could mostly be ignored. The projects seemed to range from the practical to the absurd...although the one about reconstructing the Shrink Ray to run on magical energy as a choker rather than a ray gun to shrink the Ursa Major down to teddy bear size and then training it seemed the easiest to pull off, most likely to succeed, and the most economical in terms of resource consumption...and as such, was marked down as 'Plan Lame' and 'Only to be used if the cooler stuff doesn't work out'. She found herself amused but unsurprised that the Minions had a preference for plans that involved things going Kablooie...except when it was them. Then she came to plan 'Hubba Hubba', which just made her face-hoof. The Minions had somehow gotten the resources to build an artificial Ursa Major out of space-mineral alloys and crystal constructs designed to channel the mystic energy created from Tempest's manipulations of the energy/matter equation - along with simplistic constructions meant to act as remote terminals to receive signals from the crystal in her horn to enact the reshaping at range - and being built from the ground up to...seduce an Ursa Major into obedience. Seeing one of the Minions nearby, she turned and gestured to what was swiftly becoming a giant robot star-bear. "Why?" she asked in disbelief. The Minion - Dewey, who since the Overthought link had shown remarkable talent for mathematics and organization - opened his mouth to explain. His words were the usual meaningless gibberish, but the explanation came through clear as day to Tempest. "The goal is to get a tame Ursa Major, and we know from Gru that love is the ultimate taming force. Unfortunately, wild animals are much less likely to adopt an infant not their own, so we settled on sex instead." "How keep working?" Tempest demanded harshly. "Oh, the Star Cybear will be fully self-sustaining and self-repairing once complete and active, with the only difference between an actual Ursa Major and it being that it will function completely under our control." Dewey tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Though the camouflage to make it look like an Ursa Major instead of an Ursine Mecha-Godzilla still needs work..." "So...have tame robo star bear?" Tempest pressed. "Then...why need tame non-robo star bear?" "Hey, if you want logic for our plans, get Sock-Tee on the planning committee," Dewey pointed out, gesturing to a Minion who - for some reason - was wearing a giant sock with holes in it as a t-shirt. "It's not my job to make things make sense, just make them work." "This thing is awesome!" Edith suddenly squealed out as she approached the massive robo star-bear. "We gotta take it for a test drive!" "Would you?" Dewey asked hopefully. "Until we get the remote terminals properly synced, the only way to even turn it on is to have you actively channel energy into it." Rolling her eyes, Tempest climbed up to the head cockpit. Several million dollars in untraceable collateral damage and ten minutes later, Edith and Tempest stood together looking up at a very disappointed Gru. "I don't want to know why the Minions thought it was a good idea to build a giant robot space bear," he observed calmly, "or what it could possibly have to do with making jams and jellies. I don't really care how you both got into the cockpit to take it for a test drive, or why they let you. All I want to know-" "It was her idea!" Edith spoke up quickly, pointing to Tempest. "What?!" Tempest gasped out in shock and offense. "Was not!" "Was too!" "Was not!" "Was too!" "I do not care whose idea it was!" Gru interrupted. "You are both going to be punished regardless! All I want to know...is what in the world made either of you think it was a good idea to do so?" Edith and Tempest exchanged glances for a time, and then Edith spoke up. "We...didn't?" she offered hopefully. "Then why did you do it?" Gru demanded intensely. "Cause...was evil idea?" Tempest offered nervously. Groaning, Gru put his face in his hands. "What am I supposed to do with you two?" he demanded ruefully. "Keep up villainy just so you can keep up with them as a parent?" Nefario suggested hopefully with a wide grin. "Not helping, Doctor," Gru groaned, leading to Nefario's face falling. All in all, Tempest felt her relationships with her family were developing quite well as they approached Agnes' birthday. She was sure they would all be in for an eventful life together...though she hoped all eventfulness was internal rather than external. The last thing she needed was some outside force stepping in to turn everything topsy-turvy. She did that enough as is.