It’s the beginning of the cider season, and the entire town is gathered to listen to two unicorns sing about the wonders of capitalism.
The song’s been going on for like, ten minutes already, and the ponies knees are bending in ways they shouldn’t be able to. They all try and sing each other, trying to get a spotlight on them, capitalism is working. The two unicorns finish up their song, “Traveling salesponies nonpareil!”
It takes about two more minutes of calling Granny Smith chicken, before she breaks. The brothers smile, “We use this half, you use the other half then. Whoever makes the most at the end gets ownership of the farm.”
The two families shake hooves, before moving to their respective side, “Alright Apples, let’s get to work!”
The two brothers start, and snort as the family tries to work, “Oh, it’s so funny to see them try and fight against advances. They should know pure power is nothing against technology. Brother of mine, isn’t it funny?”
Flim nods, “That it is brother. Our technology will chase them out of town! Even if somepony were to come along to help, they would lose.”
The Winged Hussars charge at the farm, knocking over all the ponies eagerly watching, “Pomóż małym farmom w hodowli jabłek! Walcz przeciwko niecnej maszynie z naszą katolicką potęgą!”
Flim’s mouth drops open as the men rush into the farm, “Um, I wasn’t serious when I said that earlier.”
Two Hussars knock Granny Smith and Rarity out of the way, and start to judge the apples, “Polski, turecki, polski, polski, niemiecki”
The Hussars mounts start to run on the treadmill to make the cider.
Apple after apple is tossed in, and a few out, “Katolicka, katolicka, protestancka, chrześcijańska, islamska, lepiej to wyrzuć.”
The Hussars run up to trees, and punch them in the center of the trunk. Of course they punch with enough power to knock them down. The commander orders people to positions, “Kapralu, sierżancie, weź te kosze od oficera! Generale, zacznij nabijanie jabłecznika!”
They rush off, “Natychmiast, dowódco!”
The baskets are scooped up from trees as they are filled, and they are just as quickly thrown in or out. The brothers see this, and start useing any apples they get. Their production doesn’t even begin to match the Hussars high productivity.
Hussars take out their canteens full of vodka, and start adding it the the cider before it is barreled up.
Within ten minutes, the challenge is wrapped up. The Hussars pile includes a mighty four thousand, four hundred and twenty barrels, compared to the Flim Flam brothers weak eighty eight. Reminds me of Lubieszów.
The Hussars don’t even spare glances at their opponents as they get on their horses, “Komandorze, wieści o zakonie krzyżackim stającym się komunistą!”
The commander looks forward, “Komunistyczny? I myślałem, że będziemy musieli dziś zniszczyć kapitalizm. Przyjdź, pokonajmy te wadliwe systemy!”
The Hussars leave into the distance, as they always do.
This leaves the ponies with one resounding thought.
Feudalism is better than capitalism or communism.