It had all been going wonderfully according to plan. Tirek had drained the magic from hundreds of thousands of ponies, chained up three princesses, and was now ready to get ahold of the fourth, Twilight. As for me, I had just successfully trapped the remaining five Elements of Harmony in a large cage and was quite proud of myself. Well...mostly. Fluttershy was clinging to Applejack, crying rivers of tears, asking me why I was doing this. Deep down, I felt a pang of regret, but outwardly I maintained indifference as I calmly informed her that Tirek had offered me something much better than what they had offered.
"Don't tell me you didn't see this coming!" I smirked.
"I didn't!" She sobbed, burying her muzzle in Applejack's chest.
Applejack sent a death glare my way, one that said somehow, I would regret what I had done. The others were glaring just as hard. I felt a stronger pang of regret, but pushed it from my mind as Tirek appeared, praising me for my work and stating something about his will, or something. What got my attention was the word 'his'. I blinked at him.
"You mean our will." I said.
He just sneered and told me he no longer needed me, that I had fulfilled my purpose. Before I could react, I was dangling in the air, his magic ripping mine from me. It was painful, horribly so. I wanted to scream, yet somehow I couldn't. When he finished, I hit the ground, too weak to hardly move. I wasn't too aware of my next words to him, but he laughed and walked away, leaving me behind next to the cage containing my former friends. I could only sputter, and I vaguely heard one of them say that surely I had seen this coming. I had not. I said as much. And in that moment, it hit me. What Tirek had just done to me, I had done the same to them. Tirek's betrayal hurt badly, but how much more had my betrayal hurt the ponies staring at me? Fluttershy was still crying, though not as loudly. And now, I wanted to cry as well. Then all at once our surroundings changed, and we found ourselves trapped in bubbles, dangling behind and above Tirek as he delivered an ultimatum to Twilight, who stood glaring: her alicorn magic, or her friends. Twilight looked as shocked as I had ever seen her. I could hear the others yelling at her not to do it, and Fluttershy calling out that they weren't worth it. That hurt me. Because yes, they were...especially Fluttershy. And I said so. Twilight made her decision, agreeing to give up her alicorn magic for her friends' release. Tirek snapped and the ponies dropped to the ground. I was not at all surprised to still be trapped in midair in my bubble. I sighed. And then I heard Twilight tell Tirek to release me as well. I was stunned. I hit the ground and looked up.
"Thank you." I said to Twilight. Then, in Fluttershy's direction, "I'm sorry." She glanced briefly at me, and I saw tears in her eyes. She nodded slightly.
"I know." I looked down, really hating myself.
'Discord, you are an idiot.' I thought.
My self berating was interrupted by Tirek leaning forward slightly, mouth open, his power connecting with Twilight and dragging her alicorn magic from her. I didn't want to watch, but I was too mesmerized by the horror to look away.
'I did this. Its my fault. I helped him grow strong enough to do this.'
I cringed at every agonised scream from Twilight, and then I shuddered as the last of her magic was drained and she flopped on her side, eyes dull and gray. Tirek was growing, taller and bigger and stronger. I gulped. I watched him for a moment, then I heard Twilight's friends rushing to her, helping her up, all but scolding her for giving up her magic. I slowly approached, making what I felt sure was a lame attempt at apoligising, finishing by handing over the trinket I had been given some time before. Twilight's eyes sparked back to life. Over the next twenty or so minutes, I witnessed the colorful defeat of my former boss and the restoration of Equestria's magic, as well as my own, and the appearance of a large castle in the middle of Ponyville. It looked comically out of place to me. But oh well. It wasn't my castle. Celestia led the way inside, and I tuned out her words as we walked, looking around the halls with interest. At the far end of a corridor, she opened a door, revealing a room containing thrones for each of the Elements, and Spike. I cowered behind a throne, peeking out nervously, watching as Twilight's friends gathered around her. Her eyes met mine, and for a moment, she seemed to struggle. And then she smiled. Her horn lit up, and I felt her magic wrap around me, lifting me and bringing me over to the group. I sailed over their heads and was placed gently in their midst. It seemed their way of saying I was accepted again. I grabbed the whole group in a hug. Then something occured to me. I looked around briefly before demanding where my throne was. I mean after all, I had helped save Equestria, too. Sort of. It had been my trinket that had been Twilight's key. Fluttershy was saying something to me about not being quite there yet, and I deflated a bit, muttering that she was right. And she was. After all, Equestria wouldn't have needed saving if I had just done what was asked of me and brought Tirek down. But noooo...I just had to go and betray everypony that trusted me. Everypony that believed in me(namely Fluttershy). So what if I had played a miniscule part in saving Equestria? It was all thanks to me that it needed doing in the first place.
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I walked along the streets the next afternoon, headed no place in particular, allowing my steps to carry me along the road out of town. Something nagged at me. Overwhelming guilt. My betrayal of my friends weighed heavy on my mind, and one friend in particular kept flashing into my vision. I adjusted my direction and soon found myself approaching the humble cottage I knew so well. Not really sure what I was doing, I did the completely uncharacteristic thing for me, and knocked lightly at the front door. After a moment, it opened, displaying the cottage's small, rather aggravating white occupant. Angel glared at me. I stared back. Any other time I would have been glad to tie his ears in knots and use them to suspend him from something very high. But my heart wasn't in it right now.
"Excuse me, I wish to see Fluttershy." I said.
He scowled and thumped one foot impatiently, giving me a stare that I was quite sure was meant to be similar to Fluttershy's. He only managed to look comical. When I smiled, he turned and hopped off, looking quite put out. Seconds later, Fluttershy came to the door.
"Discord!" She said happily. "Come in! You don't have to wait for me to tell you!"
I entered, and shut the door without my usual vigorous slam. She eyed me curiously, but did not comment.
"Would you like some tea? I'll get some."
"No!" She flinched at my yell, and I took a breath. "I mean, no. Thank you. I just...I want to talk to you."
"Ok."
She motioned as she sat on the sofa. Rather than sit, I began to pace.
"Discord? Is something wrong?" Her tone was one of concern.
"Yes! Of course there is!!" I burst out. "Why are you not absolutely furious with me?! Why didn't you glare at me?! Or tell me we were through as friends?? Or something! Why??! I betrayed you, Fluttershy! All of you! But you didn't do anything to me! Twilight demanded my release, you spoke kindly to me, all of you smiled in Twilight's new throne room. Why in the name of Equestria didn't you yell? Or have me banished someplace?? Or turned back to stone???"
I stopped and stood staring at her, my chest heaving with the exertion of my shouts. My voice lowered a little.
"Why aren't you angry at me?"
Fluttershy gazed intensely into my eyes, until I looked away ashamed.
"Discord." Her voice was gentle and soft. "I won't tell you that your betrayal didn't hurt. It did. It hurt alot. And I won't tell you that I wasn't upset, because I was. Very upset. But I wasn't angry. I was just very, very disappointed."
I stopped her right there.
"Dissappointed?!" I shouted. "But...but you should have been furious!!!! I would have been! So why weren't you?!"
"Let me finish, Discord." She reproved me gently, and I nodded. "I saw in you something you tried to hide right after you locked us up and Tirek drained our magic. Seeing that happen, it hurt you. Even if you didn't want to say so. And when you apologised, I knew you meant it. That's why."
I blinked and looked at her.
"But...but you surely can't be over it by now! It was yesterday! And how could you forgive me for such a thing?? After all you and the others did, especially you, to reform me, I betrayed you. Turned on you as if you were worth nothing. As if our friendship meant nothing! You should hate me! I know I do..." I broke off, dropping my head as the heavy guilt slammed into me full force.
I felt my eyes stinging and silently cursed the emotions whirling inside me. Then I felt something unexpected. Fluttershy was hugging me. And quite tightly.
"Discord, its alright." She said softly.
I sat down heavily, dislodging her hug, and gazed at her with a pitiful whimper.
"But it isn't alright, Fluttershy." I managed. "It isn't alright at all. You didn't deserve that. None of you did. But especially you didn't. You were the one who stood up and made friends with me when everypony else thought the idea was crazy. That I couldn't be reformed. But you did it. You became my friend. You...you trusted me, and I...I betrayed you. The one pony who ever really meant something to me..." My head dropped again.
Fluttershy placed her hooves on my shoulders and looked at me. Before she could say anything, I spoke again.
"I am sorry, Fluttershy." I said brokenly, my eyes locked into hers. "I am so very sorry."
Her smile grew and she wrapped her forelegs around me again in a warm hug.
"I know, Discord." She said. "And I forgive you. We all do." I sighed miserably. She drew back and looked at me. "Now you need to forgive yourself. I know it seems impossible right now, but if you are going to heal, you need to forgive yourself. Ok?" I managed a smile.
"I'll try." I promised, though I knew it would be a while before I could.
But for Fluttershy, I would give it my best. She beamed and hugged me again, tighter this time. And suddenly, I found myself smiling as a great deal of my guilt began to ease. I hugged her back.
"I think I will take that tea now." I said, then snapped and made a plate of cucumber sandwiches appear. "I made sandwiches!"
Fluttershy giggled and headed to the kitchen for the tea. Angel hopped in and stood eyeing me suspiciously. A sudden grin crossed my face as I met his gaze, putting the plate on the coffee table. I lifted my claw and snapped. A split second later, the white bunny was hanging by his knotted ears from a peg by the door, struggling to free himself while shooting death glares at me. Fluttershy came back with the tea, setting it by the sandwiches. Angel thumped a leg on the wall, and his mistress turned around. Her eyes widened.
"Discord!" She exclaimed before hurrying to the bunny's rescue. "Hang on, Angel! Oh...oh dear. Bad choice of words..."
He glared as she freed him. She then turned and fixed me with a disapproving stare. Immediately, I burst into uproarious laughter, and she watched me in amazement for a moment before giggling herself. She joined me on the sofa and we got busy on our tea and sandwiches, chatting up a storm and enjoying each other's company.
I had been forgiven and I had been accepted back into the circle of friendship. But most importantly, I was accepted back into Fluttershy's friendship. And really, to me, that was all that mattered.