Luna's eye twitched, her face set in an expression of barely restrained anger. She had to find a way, if only she could—
And again that accursed sound tore at her train of thought and caused it to crash down the mental hillside in a smoking wreck!
She clenched her teeth in frustration, but she didn't want to give in. No, she would ignore it! She would not pay it any attention. She would pretend it didn't exist at all until maybe that became the truth! Instinctively she picked up her pace and turned a corner.
If only she could find a way in this darkness. She wasn't sure to what end, or what she sought. But she didn't want to admit that she was lost, or worse, that she was clueless. She marched stubbornly on, neither looking nor stopping to consider her course. There was no course to take, it didn't make any blasted difference! She would carry on, and one way or another she would stumble upon the way. Sooner or later.
And there it was again! That sound, always right behind her. Luna's face scrunched up even more, teeth bared in a low snarl. It had been driving her slowly insane ever since … since … Luna didn't know how long she had endured this … torture! But she would never let it get to her. She would pretend it didn't exist. For all eternity if she had to!
She tried to divert her thoughts. Maybe if she could remember why she was here, or where she had been before. She strained to remember something. She focused all her attention, and it was right there, just beyond her reach, if she could only remember something … just a tiny piece … so tantalizingly close.
Clip-clop, clip-clop. Little hooves against stones.
Luna scowled as she tried to keep her focus. It was an exercise in futility.
Clip-clop, clip-clop they continued incessantly.
Luna's eye twitched. She couldn't take it anymore. She spun around and stared at the frightened filly behind her. “What do you want from me?” Luna demanded, her expression of restraint collapsing, tears of frustration streaming down her face. “Why do you hound me so?”
Twilight looked up at the princess with deep, sad eyes, quivering all over as if freezing. She looked lost and confused. “I don't want to be alone,” she whimpered. “I don't want to be lost here all alone.”
Luna hesitated. Looking at the young Twilight made her want to cry again. She backed away a few steps and tried to resist, tried to ignore her heart. She knew she couldn't allow herself to listen to her heart. “No! I will not believe your lies! You …” She trembled.
The little purple unicorn backed away a little from the dark princess. “I-I'm sorry,” she sniffled. “I thought … you could help me find Trixie. I think I lost her, and now I can't find her again. Do you know where she is?”
Luna's face contorted into a snarl as Trixie's name stirred up certain memories. “Trixie?” She rose up, towering over the filly like a black cloud of thunder. “I remember now!”
Twilight backed away in fear, eyes full of tears. “I-I thought you could be my friend … I just want a friend …” she stumbled and fell.
Luna's eyes flashed with lightning as she approached the terrified filly. “I am not your friend! I never were and never will be your friend! Nopony is your friend! And I won't let you hurt me, or Trixie, or anypony ever again!” She raised her hoof, lightning flaring from the tip of her horn.
“I-I never …” Twilight cried in terror, eyes begging. “I never hurt you!”
The storm raged around Luna as she looked into Twilight's eyes. For a second she hesitated. The lightning in her eyes died, and she turned away, spreading her wings. “Leave me alone. I don't want to ever see you again!” She tried not to look back as she set off into the endless darkness, her heart broken.
Somewhere behind her the young Twilight cried, alone and abandoned.
* * *
Luna opened her eyes. Outside the sun was setting as the carriage bumbled along the road of its own power. It wouldn't be long before she had to bring out the moon. She sighed and sat up, stretching herself as she looked around at the huddled-up ponies around her. She was feeling terrible, but didn't want to show it. “How is she doing? Any improvement yet?”
Pinkie looked up as Luna spoke. “She's still fevered.”
Fluttershy's condition had gotten worse despite their best efforts to treat the infection. The pegasus slept most of the time, the rest she spent in a fevered dream, and it had been difficult to get her to eat and drink enough. Pinkie had stayed with her ever since they left Hoofswell, helping as best she could, but now that Fluttershy was unable to guide them herself there was little left they could do armed only with Luna's limited knowledge.
“She'll make it, won't she?” Pinkie asked. She had asked that many times, and every time it was a little bit harder for Luna to reassure the pink pony.
“I'm sorry, Pinkie, we can only hope. If we're lucky, we'll reach the Neighagra Falls within a day.”
They had hoped to make the journey directly to Manehattan, but with Fluttershy's condition getting worse rather than better they had decided to continue south instead and stop by the hospital in Neighagra Falls, the nearest large city. Luna had always suspected this would be a necessary detour, but had dared to hope otherwise. It was now the best hope they had of helping the pegasus.
Pinkie stroked Fluttershy's cheek gently and lay down, huddled up next to the pegasus.
Luna watched them sadly for a while. “Where is Rarity?” The others were still sleeping, except Pinkie and Rarity who had been keeping an eye on Fluttershy and Trixie the past few hours. It had been decided that two of them should always stay awake at any time. With Fluttershy sick and Trixie afraid of what she might do in her sleep, they needed to be on their guard.
“She's outside,” Pinkie said as she looked up again briefly.
Rarity poked her head inside the wagon, trotting along behind it. “I am here. I simply had to stretch my poor legs for a while. Sitting in a wagon all day, packed in like stuffing, is not my idea of a fun time. And I still can't get used to staying up all night and sleeping the day away. I can not imagine how you live like that.” Rarity sighed. She was still prone to complaining, an old habit of hers. “It's not exactly doing wonders for my looks either,” she said and rubbed her eyes. “Oh dear.”
“I know, Rarity. Once we get to Neighagra Falls we can all get a proper rest and a bath.” Luna got up and moved over to examine Fluttershy's leg. Pinkie followed along as Luna unwrapped the injured hoof and studied the infected wound and the blackened skin surrounding it. The look of worry on her face said more than she really wished, but there wasn't much point in giving false hope. “I'm sorry, Pinkie.”
* * *
Trixie watched the ponies walk up and down the street through the window of the hospital in Neighagra Falls. Or so it might have appeared. In truth her eyes paid the passing ponies no heed, instead lingering passively on the faint reflection in the newly polished pane of glass. She could vaguely make out Rarity and Spike behind her, along with Gummy and Angel. Luna and Pinkie had been allowed into the clinic as Fluttershy was brought in, while the rest of them waited for the news on her condition.
Trixie's own reflection was still absent, as was the image of young Twilight. And yet she hoped, as she stood by the window thinking of Fluttershy, that the filly would show herself. Just a glimpse, a brief reassurance that she was still there, somewhere.
A door behind Trixie opened, and all of them looked over as Luna came back out. The princess shook her head as she closed the door behind her. “They have to remove the leg to prevent the infection from spreading even further. There's nothing else to be done for her.” Everypony looked down in silence. “We did all that we could,” Luna tried to reassure them all. “The good news is that without the infected leg she should recover well enough.”
“The poor dear.” Rarity dabbed her eyes with a hoofkerchief.
Trixie turned around. “When will the operation take place? Can we … see her?” She felt she needed to see the pegasus before the operation. To say she was sorry.
“They're preparing to perform the operation later tonight. She's asleep right now, and the nurse thought it best if she was disturbed as little as possible. Pinkie is with her, though, and we'll get to see her just before the operation.”
Trixie nodded and looked down silently.
Luna walked over to her and nuzzled her lovingly. “She'll be alright, dear. She's a strong pony. Stronger than most would think. I'm going out to find a place for us to stay while she recovers. Will you accompany me, dear?”
Trixie nodded quietly once more.
Luna turned to Rarity and Spike. “You two should stay here in case Pinkie or the nurses need anything. We will be back before the operation.”
Spike gave a small salute. “You can count on us, princess.”
Rarity agreed. “We'll wait here for you. Take care.”
Luna smiled. “Good, see you later then,” she said and headed out the door with Trixie close behind her.
* * *
Trixie followed behind Luna as they trotted in silence down the streets. She didn't pay much attention to anything but her own thoughts, trusting Luna to know what they were looking for. She followed quietly as Luna found a hotel and rented a small suite, and she continued to follow along as they went upstairs to inspect their new temporary residence. Trixie walked mindlessly around the room and stopped, without thinking much of it, in front of a window, gazing distantly out at the early night outside.
“Trixie.”
Trixie turned and blinked, pulled out of her thoughts, or lack thereof. Luna was lying on a couch nearby, watching her, a serious and concerned look on her face. For how long? The realization hit Trixie immediately, but she instinctively tried to conceal it as she turned and took a few casual steps away from the window. “Um … yes?”
Luna folded one hoof over the other and gave Trixie a look. “Trixie, please don't pretend I didn't just watch you mutter to yourself in front of a mirror.”
Trixie looked at Luna, surprise likely evident on her face. Had she been muttering to herself? She didn't remember. What had she been muttering? Her mind struggled to remember.
“You didn't realize? No, I figured as much from the look of you,” Luna answered in response to her thoughts. “I saw you in the hospital too, in front of the window. It wasn't very difficult to put two and two together. I'm worried for you, Trixie. I wanted a chance to talk to you, and I wanted to be sure that it is Trixie, the real Trixie, with whom I talk. That's why I wanted you to come with me now, without the others. Just you and me, despite the risk.”
Trixie looked around. It hadn't truly registered in her mind before that they were alone. She had simply followed. She looked at Luna, and it occurred to her how exposed the princess was here, alone with her. Trixie felt a stab of worry and stepped away when it dawned on her that this had been Luna's intention from the start. She stopped and looked at Luna. “You didn't trust me. You wanted to see if I would attack you here, when you were alone.”
Luna seemed to watch her reaction carefully, and sadly. “I do trust you, Trixie. I would entrust my life and everything I hold dear to you, you must know that. But you have been very silent of late, and we haven't had a chance to talk much. It's not been easy to tell what goes through your mind. I wanted to be sure I was talking to you, the real you, the Trixie I love and trust and not a certain somepony else. I take it as a good sign that you haven't attacked me, though I'm still worried.”
Trixie sighed and nodded. She knew that. “I'm sorry.”
Luna tried to draw her eyes to hers. “I'm sorry too, you know.”
Trixie walked over and tucked herself against Luna.
Luna nuzzled her gently and wrapped a wing around her. “I don't want it to be this way, Trixie, but more than anything I don't want to lose you. I just hope I can be there for you, to look out for you and protect you if you can't do it yourself. And what I don't trust right now is what you see when you look in the mirror, and you know you shouldn't trust her either.”
“Luna …” Trixie rubbed her head gently against Luna's soft coat and breathed deeply, taking in the mildly perfumed scent still detectable despite a few days spent on the road. They could both use a proper bath once Fluttershy was better, but right now Luna's scent still made her feel comfortable and safe. “I don't think she's bad. I think … Luna, my heart tells me she really is Twilight.”
Luna was clearly worried and sad. Trixie didn't need to look at her to tell just how concerned she looked. “Trixie …” She tried to look at Trixie, but Trixie instead buried herself in Luna's soft mane. “Trixie, she is not Twilight. I know you wish her to be, but she's not.”
Trixie didn't reply. She lay there, tightly pressed against Luna, face buried in her mane. She knew Luna was just trying to protect her, but she couldn't ignore what her heart was telling her.
Luna was silent for a long time, waiting for Trixie to say something. Finally she continued. “I know it's hard to accept, but you have to face the truth. It's hard for me too. I've … been dreaming of her. She comes to me in my dreams now.”
Trixie pulled herself out of Luna's mane and looked at her with wide eyes. “You've talked with her? Is she … is she alright?”
“Trixie!” Luna gave her a little shake. “She's only trying to trick you and bend you to her will, and it looks like she's succeeding. Please listen to me … she is not Twilight. She can't be, it's not possible!”
Trixie frowned. “How do you know that? How can you be certain?”
“Because this one was in MY dream, Trixie. Remember, Twilight chose you back in Dappleshore. She gave her soul to you, never to me. I don't share your connection to Twilight. What we do share is my blood and my curse, which is Nightmare Moon. This filly who appears to us both can't be Twilight!”
Trixie looked at Luna, who looked back deep into her eyes. Trixie's mind struggled. Luna's words made sense, she knew they did, but at the same time she wanted desperately to find some rationale, some reason to disbelieve it. “Maybe—”
Luna shook her again before she could begin her argument, “No! Trixie, I won't lose you to her. She is a monster and a liar, pure and simple. Please promise me that you won't listen to her. If she's stopped appearing to you maybe that's a good thing, but don't think it's safe. It's just another one of her tricks, I fear.”
Trixie looked away. She wanted to cry, but she didn't know why.
“Trust in me, Trixie. That's all I ask.”
She looked at Luna and found it hard to breathe as she gazed into the eyes of her love. “I promise. I won't listen to her.” Her voice was flat. It was a lie, and they both knew it. Trixie looked away and closed her eyes.
She could tell that Luna was crying.
* * *
Pinkie brushed the hair away from Fluttershy's face and watched her sleep. It wasn't a peaceful sleep. The pegasus looked pale, and pearls of cold sweat soaked her yellow coat. She breathed heavily and frequently turned restlessly in her sleep. It broke Pinkie's heart to see her friend like this, and all she could do was wait. It wouldn't be long, the nurses had promised.
The thought of them sawing off Fluttershy's leg frightened Pinkie, made her feel sick and terrified at the same time. She knew it was necessary, and that the pegasus would lose her leg anyway and might even die if it wasn't removed now. That thought scared her even more.
But there was more to it than just the fear of losing a friend. Fluttershy had always been a close friend, but more and more Pinkie felt there was something she wanted to tell the pegasus. Something she couldn't deny and needed to get out. She watched the fevered pony for whom she felt so deeply. But did Fluttershy feel the same?
Pinkie looked down at her hooves. There was something else she would have to tell the pegasus, of course. About the leg. Pinkie wanted to be the one to tell her, even though it hurt so much to think of it. Fluttershy would appreciate a friend telling her, Pinkie thought to herself.
As she sat there, poking idly at the floor with a hoof and trying to think of what to say, Fluttershy stirred and opened her heavy eyes. It took a little while for her to speak. “P-Pinkie? Is it you there?”
Pinkie looked up and nodded, reaching out to rub Fluttershy's hoof gently. “Yes, I'm here, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy smiled and closed her eyes. “That is … good.”
“Fluttershy …” Pinkie began, feeling her chest tighten. “There's something I need to tell you.” Fluttershy tried to look at her. Pinkie moved a little closer, leaning over the bed so the pegasus could better see her. “About your leg.”
“Is it … bad?” Fluttershy's lip quivered a little.
Pinkie nodded. She was crying, but Fluttershy had to know. “They need to remove your leg. They can't do anything to save it. I'm so sorry, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy looked sad, but nodded a little as if it didn't really come as a surprise to her. “I … I knew. Sometimes … sometimes it's better that way. Will you—” Fluttershy's voice broke. “Will you stay with me?”
Pinkie nodded quickly. “I won't leave you. I'll be right here by your side.”
Fluttershy smiled sadly and closed her eyes again. “I am … glad.” Then she fell silent.
Pinkie's lips moved, but the words were slow to follow. “F-Fluttershy,” she finally half whispered. She needed to get it off her chest. She needed to say it. “Fluttershy, I … I love you!” It was a relief to say it as she watched Fluttershy anxiously. Pinkie cried a little. “I love you, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy breathed slowly, her eyes closed. The pegasus had fallen asleep again.
* * *
The door to the operating room opened as a nurse rolled through with the bed on which Fluttershy lay. Pinkie walked in beside the bed, holding Fluttershy's hoof in hers. The pegasus looked calm now, sedated by the drugs for the operation. Pinkie squeezed Fluttershy's hoof gently. She knew her friend couldn't hear or feel anything right now, and yet she felt certain it meant a lot to Fluttershy that she was there with her. “Don't worry … it'll be alright. I'm here.”