"Wake up Anon, the Queen wishes to see you." an irritated voice demanded.
You were used to that wake up by now, stupid guards always trying to demand things of you before they got knocked out. Then you'd really be awoken by the creepy sexual harassing queen walking in and praising you for abusing her subjects and making some sort of declaration that you'd get freaky.
Except, this voice seemed less arrogantly demanding and more... legitimately annoyed.
Rolling over, you cracked an eye and spied the violet-eyed Changeling that had been assigned to you. Oh right, that shit happened yesterday. You'd sort of been hoping the whole thing was a nightmare and that you were still in Canterlot. Or even falling into Pastel-Pony-Playland, trademarked, would be a dream in and of itself and you'd awaken in your home to find you fell asleep watching cartoons and porn at the same time again.
"Bite me, Ap." you mumbled, rolling back away from her. You'd half forgotten you gave her a nickname, if only to annoy her, but you did your best thinking when you were barely conscious after all.
"My pleasure." she responded, the tone actually somewhat happy. So much for doing your best thinking when tired, because it took you until after you felt a pair of fangs sink into your ass did you realize she was actually going to do it.
You jumped with a shout, limbs flailing so frantically, you ended up pushing yourself off your shitty excuse for a bed and onto the floor. Groaning as you landed on your tailbone, arching your back to try and lift yourself away from the pain, you winced up at Apocrita, who merely smirked down at you.
"You realize Queen Swiss-Legs will have your head for taking a bite out of this beautiful ass that she adores." you hissed out, trying carefully not to aggravate the sore spots as you rose to your feet.
You got the feeling she was rolling her eyes as she turned her back on you. "Please, I didn't even break the skin. Maybe if my liege knew what a baby you were, she'd realize you weren't worth her interest, then we could just execute you." she spat back with such venom, you were worried you'd be infected from the bite.
"You're just jealous you ain't got these buns. Creepy ass horse-bug... ass." you mumbled, rubbing your sore backside as you stood up straight. "Dammit, you bite holes through my pants and boxers. I only have one pair of each!" you shouted, looking back to see the spots her fangs pierced through, showing some of your skin. "They only just got the measurements right for spare clothes back in Canterlot when you assholes kidnapped me."
"I should have left you in the nursery with the other infants yesterday." Apocrita retorted, one of her back legs quickly snapping out, not quite kicking you so much as jabbing just the tip of her hoof into your shin. "Lets get going, Queen Chrysalis wishes to have breakfast with you again, for some reason. Then we'll be sitting in on the first round of negotiations for your release."
You hissed once more as she hit you, even the barest of her hoof jabbing out into your shin hurting like a bitch. God she was abusive. You should have called her Every Ex-Girlfriend instead, cause she'd fit right in with the rest, although they at least had sex with your... or at least a blowjob.
Regardless, you started to walk forward, which prompted Apocrita to moving ahead to lead you. "First round of negotiations, huh? Who's to say we can't just agree on whatever it takes to get me the hell out of here and save us both the headache?"
Apocrita scoffed, a slight smile coming to her face, although it seemed more than a bit malicious. "Trust me, I'd agree to that faster than I'd slit your throat if I could."
"Hurtful. Emotionally this time. Perhaps more so than the actual physical abuse." you whined.
Ignoring your statement, she continued "You've clearly never dealt with a high-end political hostage situation before, so let me break it down for you. The ambassador will come in and ask what our demands our. Queen Chrysalis will then issue a number of pony slaves whose love we can drain waaaaaaaay more than you're worth." She then whispered "One is more than you're worth as it is."
"You know, it's amazing how amazing the acoustics in these disgusting bug vomit walled hallways are. You can hear everything." you pointed out, letting her know you full well heard her, although you doubted she was really trying to hide it in the first place.
Once more ignoring you, Apocrita said "The ambassador will of course deny whatever number we put out, likely having a predetermined number of 'acceptable losses' given to them by the princesses, but they will do their best to avoid hitting that number and try to low ball us. Then will begin the back-and-forth, us trying to explain why our numbers are acceptable and the ambassador trying to state why it's simply impossible. They'll likely try to offer a little more than what they initially offered and we may drop our number a bit, but nobody is going to agree and they'll head back to Canterlot with the numbers we've issued and revise with the princesses what to offer next. They'll come back and do the whole thing over again, each slowly closing the gap until an agreement is made."
You stared at Apocrita as she led you through the hallway, staying silent long enough that it clearly disturbed her. Casting a look at you over her shoulder, she asked "What?"
"You guys... really have this down. Like, Christ, you sound like you could make an instruction manual on the thing." you stated, for some reason apparently making Apocrita proud as she puffed out her chest. "It's also really sad you're so bad at it too." you quickly add in, deflating her swelling pride. "Seriously, if you were really good at it, you'd just convince them right away to give you what you want and be done with it. Shame on you, I almost thought better of you."
"Like you could do any better!" she shot back at you, turning her nose up and marching forward at a fast pace.
"Maybe I will! Put me in charge of it and I'll get you bitches for days!" you shout, picking up the pace, only to slow down almost immediately, the pain in your ass flaring up again. Note to self: Apocrita is a literal pain in your ass. Make sure she knows that.
The Changeling guard was about to respond, but silenced herself as she realized you two had already come upon the dining room, Chrysalis already seated at the head of the table and looking excited to see you both, or rather just you.
"Anon, my darling, so glad to see you once again. My day hasn't started until I lay eyes upon you." the horse-bug queen greeted. Then, letting her lids drop into a more sultry look, propping her chin up on one hole-filled foreleg, she added "But my life won't truly start until lay with you."
"Guess you're going to be stillborn then, cause it ain't happening." you quickly countered, limping toward the table. As slight as it was, Chrysalis and her ever observant eye for you took quick notice.
"Why Anon, whatever happened to you?" Chrysalis asked, something that might have been legitimate concern in her voice, although it seemed more like the concern a person had for damage to something they owned than for another living being. Her gaze quickly shot over to Apocrita, eyes narrowing into a deadly glare that actually chilled your blood, reminding you that despite her insistence on trying to bed you, Chrysalis was actually far more sinister than a sexual predator. "I thought I had my elite guard looking after you. Perhaps I was mistaken." she hissed out.
You were fairly certain bugs couldn't sweat, but you were starting to regret following Apocrita in, because you were positive she was about to shit herself, and that was not a sight you wanted. The way she froze up, you'd figure she was just an exoskeleton at this point, even though there were still some of the weird, oddly furry parts. She seemed scared and oddly resigned to whatever punishment Chrysalis was already brewing up for taking a bite of your ass. Part of you considered that she deserved it cause, ya know, she did bite your ass. But then, you figured nobody deserved whatever Chrysalis did to them... plus, you'd have to train a whole new guard to be your daily bitch, and you just got her. Yeah, got with that one.
"Actually, I just fell out of bed this morning, got jabbed in the ass because of that stupid... whatever that stuff is it's made out of. Maybe we can get me something less pointy?" you implied, walking past Apocrita, the action seeming to dispel the frozen fear she had.
Chysalis' gaze lingered for a moment longer, but quickly shifted back to you as you came to sit near her. "I see... well, I was hoping you'd eventually break on the bed issue and simply join me, but if I must protect my interests, we'll tell the ambassador to bring you something the next time he comes by." she accepted. You got the feeling she didn't totally believe your lie, but she wasn't about to upset her hopeful boy toy. The perks that came with being so damn charming.
Apocrita looked hesitantly between the two of you before taking her place at the table as well, granted it yesterday as a perk of being your guard. "Still, I apologize my queen, I will do better to make sure no harm comes to Anon during his stay here." she declared, trying to say it with some strength, but a clear tone of regret in her voice.
Waving a hoof before her dismissively, Chrysalis replied "Let us just move on, accidents happen and I, in my infinite kindness, am willing to forgive." Then, shooting you yet another seductive look, her hoof coming forward to stroke your arm, she said "Although I do want to make sure that the only reason my dear Anon is limping is because he bucked me. So. Very. Hard."
"... I'm not sure I can eat breakfast anymore."
After forcing yourself to eat breakfast, despite Chrysalis hitting on you non-stop, you followed the queen, and were in turn followed by Apocrita, to the throne room. You'd actually only been in it once so far, when you were first brought into the hive and presented to Chrysalis. You called her a disgusting abomination that should be hit with insecticide and she said she was going to ride you like a horse before you returned to Canterlot. You questioned the horse part at the time, but now you realized that was truly the beginning of a horrible, and hopefully short, relationship.
The room large, not more so than the Carapace Colosseum, but still impressively so, with a huge and painfully sharp looking throne at the center of it. Chrysalis wasted no time in taking her position atop it, basking in the way it made her tower more so over everyone in the room than she already did. She gave a sadistic sort of smile as her eyes traveled over her subjects, the guards at complete attention, although the look became more... hungry when she looked to you.
You quickly noticed that next to the pointy throne that looked like someone stole a prop from Game of Thrones, there was another throne. It was significantly smaller and far less pointy, but it had some elevation as well.
"I hope you don't mind Anon, but I can't have you sitting on my throne with me while the ambassador is here. It sends the wrong sort of message, you must understand. But I couldn't bare to leave you on the same level as the rest of the worms, so I had a lesser throne built just for you." Chrysalis elaborated, the tone of her voice indicating she thought she was being so very generous right now. "Go on, take a seat. I even had a cushion built into it for you."
"Thaaaaaanks." you said, unsure what to expect. While not as tall as Chrysalis' throne, it was still elevated to the point you had to plant your hands on the seat and push yourself up, Apocrita standing off to the side and watching without offering any help whatsoever. You tried your best not to grunt, realizing you really needed to invest in some push ups since you had nothing better to do, and nearly collapsed against the back of the oversized chair.
The 'cushion' as Chrysalis put it seemed like it was some sort of weaved silk, stuffed with... water? Like, it was a water bed, shifting oddly beneath your ass, but it didn't seem to slosh around quite the same. You considered what it could be, then quickly decided against it. Better off not knowing.
"Simply excellent! You look so fine sitting there, even if I do think you'd be far better off next to me." Chrysalis applauded, tapping her hooves together. "But we'll have to discuss the expansions to my throne once we've better situated our relationship. For now, bring in the ambassador!"
You didn't get the chance to argue that there was no relationship when a pair of Changeling guards marched forward, adorned in dark armor. Standing between the two was a unicorn stallion with a grey coat of fur and flowing white mane and beard. You had to stare at the beard in particular, so perfectly full and groomed. Damn you wish you had that beard. You almost neglected to notice the fact he had a short purple cape with a golden accent on that stopped just before his cutie mark of a two pony silhouettes, one blue and one pink, apparently shaking hooves.
"For our lady, Lord Strong Words of Canterlot!" one of the guards announced, he and his cohort bowing before stepping off to the side to ingratiate themselves with the twin rows of guards lining the room.
The unicorn gave a quick bow as well, then staring without fear at Chrysalis. "Queen Chrysalis, may I thank you for agreeing to meet with me on behalf of my lady, Princess Celestia, as well as having the opportunity to confirm that Sir Anon is well." Strong Words announced.
"Of course, you always have my blessing to thank me for all the good that I do." Chrysalis quickly stated, a mocking sneer on her face. "And as you can see, Anon is fine and well."
"The hell I am." you stated, drawing looks from Chrysalis and Strong Words. "I've been sexually harassed from the moment I was brought here, forced to eat what I believed was literal shit, and my ass hurts... that last part has nothing to do with the sexual harassment, so don't you dare think about it that way you damn perv."
Strong Words' mouth opened, clearly taken aback by the way you just spoke to him. He seemed less certain with what to say or do about you than the fact he had been brought into the hive of Equestria's greatest enemy. He even gave Chrysalis a look, as if expecting an answer from her, but she only stared back at him with a slight shrug and the statement "If it was up to me, I would be responsible for his ass hurting, but he's playing hard to get."
"I... I, um, w-well, lets begin the negotiations, shall we?" he offered, choosing to move past your interruption.
"Agreed." Chrysalis stated, nodding to a guard who moved forward, providing Strong Words a chair, clearly wanting to keep him down there and herself up on her throne. "Now, in the week that I've spent with Anon, I've been able to assess his true worth, and I must say, he is truly priceless." she announced, light gleaming off one of her fangs as she gave a winning grin. "I mean, he's one of a kind, an absolutely lovely specimen to look at, and a true delight to have around the hive. Honestly, the very idea of giving him up is breaking my cold, black heart."
Damn, if Chrysalis was as good at sucking your dick literally as she was figuratively, you'd been missing out. Maybe when the negotiations were done for the day, you'd let her put that silver tongue to use... probably not though. That maw was full of sharp ass fangs and you preferred your dick without bite marks.
"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both fully understand that and have instructed me to offer what I believe to be a very generous concession for the safe return of Sir Anon." Strong Words acknowledged, giving another respectful bow of his head. "I am prepared to offer you-"
"We will accept nothing less than the entirety of Ponyville!" you bellow, slamming your fist down on your own throne. "Ow, missed the fucking pillow." you whine, rubbing your hand as everyone in the room, from the lowest of guards to Chrysalis herself, looked at you incredulously.
"W-wait, hold on a moment." Strong Words stuttered, trying to recover from the sudden demand.
"Such a bold declaration Anon, even I didn't think to demand so much." Chrysalis admitted, her brow lifted curiously, but the look in her eye showing all the more interest.
"But he's the hostage, he shouldn't be negotiating at all!" Strong Words quickly protested, looking between you and Chrysalis frantically.
"It's okay guys, I understand. Apocrita gave me the run down on how this plays out earlier." you assured the two.
"Please don't involve me in this." Apocrita quietly plead.
"Well I want to at least hear him out. I mean, this is his fate we're talking about. Shouldn't he have a say?" Chrysalis implored, giving Strong Words only the quickest of glances.
"Hear me out." you state, holding your hands up, trying to draw them in. "We all know I'm basically an endangered species. I'm priceless, Chrysalis said so herself and you agreed. So clearly Sunbutt and Moonpie are willing to pay whatever the price is. Hell, we could be asking for a thousand ponies and I'm absolutely positive that they'd agree to that!" you confidently declare.
"I heard Sunbutt from you before, but Moonpie?" Chrysalis inquired, apparently more drawn in by that aspect of your rant than the numbers.
"It's a snack with chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow filling." you explain. "I picked it cause she's got the moon, and if I had to choose a pony to stuff full of my marshmallow filling, it'd be her." you elaborate, the second part drawing an irritated snort from the queen.
"Let us back up for a moment!" Strong Words quickly interjected, drawing Chrysalis attention away from your pick in pony fucks. "I can assure you that we will not be handing over a thousand ponies or Ponyville! Why would you even suggest it!?" he shouted, the raised volume drawing a hiss from the guards that made him shrink back in his seat.
Her eyes shifting back to you, Chrysalis nodded her head. "Indeed Anon, why Ponyville of all places? From my understanding, you've never even been there."
"True, I haven't." you agreed with a shrug. "But that bitch Twilight Sparkle does."
"Please don't refer to the Princess of Friendship a... bitch, as you called it." Strong Words groaned.
"I never knew you had such strong feelings for, or rather against, her." Chrysalis stated, further amused by your motivations.
"Of course I do. When I first showed up in Equestria, all the princesses gathered in Canterlot to see what they could do for me. I'm kind of a big deal after all." you stated like it was information anybody should know.
"You ego is so fucking huge right now." Apocrita muttered, trying to hide her face in her hooves, clearly embarrassed that she had to stand by your throne as your guard.
"One, Ego is the name of my penis, and you're right, it's fucking enormous. Two, made you use one of my swears, haha!" you laughed, jumping on the chance to both further embarrass Apocrita, as well as make a dick joke.
"Remind me to stroke your 'ego' later" Chrysalis purred, her forked tongue flicking out of her mouth suggestively. Shit, you walked into that one.
"We're getting off topic." Strong Words stepped in once more, the poor unicorn already feeling a headache building behind his horn. He was a seasoned veteran, negotiating peace treaties, trade agreements, and hostage situations before. This made him feel like he was a simple foal in debate club again.
Nodding, you shifted around on your throne, trying to find a more comfortable position as you regaled them with your reason for hating Twilight. "So, the princesses came together to figure out how to help me, right? They were also deciding where I should stay. Of course, they all wanted me to stay with them. Canterlot with Celestia and Luna, the Crystal Empire with Cadence, and Ponyville with Twilight. But when they started to express their reasons why I should stay with them, all Twilight started saying she had experience in taking care of humans before, then proceeded to say that if I ended up being some sort of evil villain in disguise, she'd have the Elements of Harmony right there to banish me to Tartarus or some shit like that! She just immediately assumes I'm actually a bad guy!" you shout, fully expressing how utterly devastated you were by the betrayal and hurt feelings of her statement.
"You are literally selling out her entire home, right now." Apocrita pointed out, casting you an irritated glance.
"Silence Ap, the adults are talking." you commanded, now laying across the throne with your arm dangling over the side, trying halfheartedly to try and swipe at her head, but to no avail.
Strong Words took his eyes off of you and returned his attention to Chrysalis. "We cannot give you Ponyville. Not only are the number of ponies simply too large, but it's the home of one of our princesses, which we will not be providing you with either." he announced sternly.
"Sadly, I must acknowledge that I knew that was going to be off the table coming into this. The whole of Canterlot, the Crystal Empire, and Ponyville were never within my expectations, nor did I imagine that the princesses themselves were up for debate." Chrysalis admitted with a sigh.
"What!? But I'm priceless! You all said it!" you yell angrily, totally feeling your value being spurned.
"Not as priceless as a princess, apparently." Apocrita snickered, only to give a low growl when you finally reach out in a proper attempt and smack her in the back of the head.
"Of course you're priceless, my dear." Chrysalis agreed, fluttering her eyelashes at you. "However, I have to be realistic with my expectations. You're a realist, you know ponies won't willingly sacrifice themselves for others. It's just survival instincts." Turning back to Strong Words, she gave a sinister smirk. "That said, Anon has given me quite a lot to think about. I was initially just going to ask for a number of ponies that I felt would make losing my prize worthwhile, but now I realize I need to think bigger."
Strong Words seemed to grow pale, his grey fur losing a little of its color, which you weren't sure was really possible. "Bigger? B-bigger how?" he asked, gulping nervously. The negotiations had gotten entirely out of hand, or rather hoof, for him. The man he was here to help save had made things worse, making him wonder if the princesses themselves were really in their right minds trying to get him back.
A menacing chuckle echoed through the throne room as Chrysalis leaned back in her throne, making you wonder how she didn't get poked by all the sharp points. "Anon said we should have received Ponyville. Not the population of Ponyville, oh no, but Ponyville itself. While we've already agreed that is out of the question, it made me realize that we need more than just ponies. We need ponies, land, resources. We need a settlement, somewhere we can continue to breed ponies and harvest their love."
Strong Words' eyes widened considerably, a shocked gasp coming before he stamped his hoof, rising out of his seat with such fury that his chair was knocked over. The Changeling guards took a step forward, hissing at him, but he did not seem to relent this time.
"You want us to create for you a slave farm!? Impossible! It's bad enough that we're even considering an exchange, but this would be damning future generations of ponies to be nothing more than food for you! The princesses will never accept these terms!" he bellowed, taking a few courageous steps forward.
"The princesses will do just that!" Chrysalis snapped, her twisted horn glowing green, the same aura encompassing Strong Words. His own horn lit up with a golden aura, but quickly fizzled out as he was shoved back into his chair, holding him there. "You should consider yourselves lucky that I even offer these terms! Not only am I willing to part with my dear, sweet Anon, but I'm giving your kind an out! No longer will you have to jump at shadows, worrying when and where my Changelings will strike!" Chrysalis' aura flared, pushing Strong Words harder so that the chair fell backwards, now pushing him along the ground. You winced as you knew that floor was hard and craggy, definitely not a comfortable ride.
As a pained groan left Strong Words, he was suddenly yanked off the ground and pulled forward, bringing him almost muzzle-to-muzzle with Chrysalis. "These negotiations are finished. You will return to the princesses and tell them the terms are already set. They will give us the land, resources, and ponies to make ourselves self-sufficient off their love. Once we have that, you will not only find Anon in your less than capable hooves, but we will swear off of your kind, no longer needing you anymore." Chrysalis commanded, a sadistic sneer that bared her fangs and forked tongue to the ambassador plastered to her face.
Dropping the unicorn so that he'd land roughly on the ground before her throne, she added "Now get out of my sight, before I simply replace you with a Changeling to deliver the message."
Strong Words wasted no time turning around and running out of the hive, a pair of guards quickly following him out. Chrysalis watched him until he was no longer in sight, then leaned back in her throne with a satisfied sight, her eyes flicking over to you.
"My dear Anon, I had no idea you'd be so productive to our negotiations. I really should find some way of thanking your properly. Maybe I'll take you on a nice 'ego' trip." she teased, although you were certain she was also being quite serious.
You couldn't hold back the whine resonating in the back of your throat, trying to sink into your own throne to hide from her. "I fucked up, didn't I?"
"Me and my people are going to benefit from your actions today, but even I think you're a monster for what you just did." Apocrita quickly replied, not missing the chance to rub salt in the wounds.
Damn you and your ego.