“Are you afraid?”
Trixie leaned over the edge of the water, staring into the purple eyes reflected in the surface. Her mind struggled to find an explanation, an answer, anything to hold on to, but in that instant she found herself without any. She didn't know what to say or even do with herself.
Was she afraid? Of what? The filly in the pond waited silently as Trixie opened her mouth, hesitatingly asking in return, “S-should I … be afraid?”
The purple unicorn lowered her head until her chin almost touched her chest, her eyes searching some dark corners Trixie could not see. “Sometimes I'm afraid. It's so dark and cold … all the time.”
Trixie looked around herself. The skies were reddening as the sun began its descent below the horizon, but it was still bright enough. She gnawed her lip a bit as she turned back to address the young Twilight. “What are you afraid of?”
“There are things out there. Sometimes they make noises in the dark. Don't you hear them too? Mother used to tell me that you have to face your fears. Sometimes … sometimes I try to find them, to talk to them, because maybe they aren't so bad, and maybe they know where mother is. But they hide where it is darkest, and I get lost. It's so cold and dark here.”
Trixie was silent. She didn't know what to say to the young pony. She didn't know what to say to herself. She sat down heavily and closed her eyes. What was happening to her? Why couldn't she see her own reflection, and was she really speaking to Twilight's lost soul, or was it something else? What had really happened in Dappleshore, and what was it doing to her?
She felt the fear grip her again, this time stronger. She tried to focus her attention on the feeling, tried to understand it.
Her thoughts were broken by Twilight's shivering voice. “What are you afraid of?”
Trixie opened her eyes and looked at the reflection. For a long time she simply sat there. Finally she said with a low voice, “I'm afraid of myself, of what is happening to me.”
“What is happening to you?”
“I … don't know, and that's what scares me.”
“Can't you find out? Maybe somepony knows, and you could ask them.”
“I don't know how, or who. The only one who—” Trixie broke off, suddenly struck by a mix of hope and despair. Midnight's work. If there were answers to be found anywhere, it was with that infernal mare and her cursed work. But it was too dangerous, too risky. Was it not Midnight's notes that had driven Twilight to do the things she did? Would she really risk making the same mistake?
The young filly in the water looked up at her. “Sometimes you need to face your fears. Maybe you need to go into the dark places where they hide.”
Trixie sat there, staring into the water. She needed to know. If something was happening with her, then she needed to understand it before it became too late. And there was only one place she could find answers.
Trixie shivered. “I'm afraid to lose sight of myself in the dark.”
* * *
“Sometimes I frighten myself too …”
The new voice was tiny and shy, yet it still made Trixie jump, almost causing her to lose balance and fall into the pond with a yelp. She balanced briefly on the edge before regaining herself.
The yellow pegasus who had spoken shied away from her with a low squeak. “I-I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, Your Highness,” the pegasus whispered as she peeked out at Trixie from behind a pink mane. “Y-you just looked like you could use somepony to talk to. And—” she held up the sad remains of a lemon-frosted cupcake which, from the looks of it, had been gnawed upon by some animal “—raccoons ran off with your lunch. I tried to stop them but the animals here are …” she trailed off, staring at her hooves timidly.
Trixie felt herself smiling a little at the shy pony and the shredded cupcake, but it quickly faded as she glanced back down into the water. The dark surface was now blank, showing only the looming trees around the pond. She sighed. “It's alright, I wasn't very hungry anyway.”
Fluttershy pushed the hair out of her eyes and followed Trixie's gaze into the dark waters of the pond. Trixie felt a sudden rush of panic and moved to block the pegasus' view of the water. What would the other pony think if she saw Trixie had no reflection?
But the yellow mare simply looked depressed and shuffled her hooves. “Oh, I'm so sorry that I scared your fish away. I'm such a loudmouth sometimes!”
Loudmouth. Trixie had been called that more than once, and maybe she had deserved it then, but it was certainly not the first word that she would have associated with the pegasus in front of her. “Fish?” She asked, confused.
“Oh yes. I talk to the animals all the time too … um, not the animals here, though. I think I spooked them once, and now they flee from me.” The pegasus held her hooves up to her mouth as if a sudden realization of impending doom had struck her. She looked even more depressed, if such a thing was even possible, as she glanced up at Trixie with wide, pleading eyes. “Oh no … oh, please don't fire me, Your Highness! I promise I'll do better, I really need this job! I promise I can handle it!”
Trixie felt completely at a loss. “Calm down. Just … calm down, alright? You say you work here, in the gardens? What is your name?”
The pegasus looked away. “I-I'm Fluttershy, Your Highness. Princess Celestia hired me a week ago to tend her beautiful gardens, but I'm making a real mess of it already.”
Trixie paused. The name sounded familiar. It took her a few seconds to remember the connection. “Fluttershy? Weren't you by any chance a friend of Twilight Sparkle? I think I remember you from some of the letters she got.”
Fluttershy glanced back up. “Y-yes, Your Highness. She was one of my best friends.” She looked back down, tears filling the corners of her large cyan eyes. “I wish she was still here. Everything has been just awful without her!”
“I miss her too,” Trixie said and sighed. “And please, just call me Trixie.”
Fluttershy sniffed. “Oh … alright.” She looked between the cupcake and the water. “I'm really sorry about the fish. And your cupcakes.”
Trixie watched the pegasus. Did she think she had been talking with the fish in the pond? Had she not seen Twilight, or heard her? And didn't she see the lack of a reflection in the water, or had she simply not noticed? “Don't worry about it, Fluttershy. Maybe the fish would like the rest of the cupcake.”
Fluttershy looked at Trixie, then nodded and sat down to carefully and slowly break the soft cake into tiny pieces which she then scattered into the water. A few large, silvery carps tentatively nibbled at the crumbs. This seemed to bring a sad smile back on the pegasus' face, and for a while the task of feeding the fish appeared to make her forget about Trixie.
Trixie watched her feed the fish for a time. What was happening to her? Was she going crazy? If she was the only one who saw those things in the mirror, if only she could see Twilight, what did that mean? She had to know. She had to find out.
* * *
Trixie sat at Luna's overflowing desk, glancing between a heavy tome of old yellowing pages and a small hoofheld mirror, both of which she had managed to dig out of Luna's mess after returning from the gardens. The mirror was empty aside from the room around her reflected in its polished surface. The book might as well have been empty too, for all the good it did her.
She looked up as she heard the door open and saw Luna step in. The princess paused in the door and tilted her head with a smile. “Since when did you become the resident bookworm, dear?” Getting only a sigh from Trixie, Luna walked over and nuzzled her gently. “Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.”
“It's alright, and you're right. I've never been one to read much.” She flipped a few pages idly, not really knowing where to start or what to look for. “How was your meeting with the zebras?”
“Utterly boring, and entirely pointless if you ask me.” She sat down behind Trixie and rubbed her neck with soft strokes. “They just requested the remains of Twilight's friend, Zecora, returned to her homeland for burial. Turns out the zebra was the daughter of some chief of theirs. Purely a formality. They could have just sent a letter and saved themselves a trip across the ocean. I'll never understand these things.”
Trixie closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the massage and leave her worries behind for a while.
“So, if you never were one to read much, why begin now?” Luna peered at the book “And why that old thing? I have much better books if you want something to read.”
Trixie sighed deeply as she opened her eyes and levitated the small mirror up in front of her. “Tell me, what do you see in the mirror?”
Luna leaned her head over Trixie's shoulder to peer into the mirror. She smiled and gave Trixie a peck on the cheek. “I see a pony who would benefit more from a massage than from dusty old books. Really, the wizened old scholar look doesn't suit you, dearest.”
“You don't …” Trixie slumped over a little. It didn't come as a great surprise. Deep down she had probably known from the start that this was how it was, but it was still a blow to actually have it confirmed. “You don't see anything odd at all?”
Luna peered back into the mirror once more, remaining silent for a while as she tried to see something. Trixie didn't need to hear the answer, the mere fact that it wasn't blatantly obvious to Luna was answer enough. “I'm sorry,” she said. “I don't see anything. Why? What do you see?”
Trixie threw the mirror down, a little too hard, and stared at the desk. Luna had stopped her gentle rubbing and looked at her with concern. Trixie rubbed her eyes tiredly with a hoof. “I see nothing.”
Luna seemed confused. “Nothing? So what is the problem?”
“The problem is, I can't see myself in the mirror!” Trixie half shouted, more in frustration at that fact than at Luna. She picked the mirror back up and felt a stab of regret at seeing the long crack now running across the surface. She wondered how much the old mirror meant to Luna. “I see you, I see the room, and that's it. No Trixie.”
Luna was silent. Trixie could see her in the mirror. The princess' face seemed frozen in some expression between deep worry and shock. Trixie looked down. “And then … sometimes I see Twilight where my own image should have been. But she's young, still just a filly without her cutie mark. And I spoke with her.”
Trixie lowered the mirror a little and glanced into it, past Luna's frozen stare to some point in the back of the reflection. “I fear I'm going crazy. I fear something is happening to me, and I have no clue what it is.”
Trixie turned to look at Luna. The princess was staring into the mirror with a serious expression. Trixie suddenly felt nervous. Had she said too much? What was Luna thinking? Maybe Trixie was going crazy … already insane.
Finally Luna seemed to notice that Trixie had stopped speaking and was looking at her. She glanced at the book and took a few seconds as if to consider her words. “I-I'm sure you just need to get over the loss of Twilight and the many changes in your life. It's a lot of change for one pony. Maybe you don't thrive here in the castle, maybe you feel lonely? We could go out more, would you like that? Maybe meet some other ponies.”
Trixie watched Luna with growing dismay. “So it's true, is it? I'm crazy. You think I'm crazy.”
“No!” Luna looked a little desperate. “No, I don't think you're crazy.” She wrapped her hooves and wings around Trixie in a tight hug. “I love you, Trixie, and nothing is ever going to change that, do you hear?”
Trixie sighed and closed her eyes. A low growl from her stomach broke the silence of the moment.
Luna kissed her softly. “You haven't been eating all day? Didn't you go see the chef?”
“I did, and then raccoons stole my cupcakes,” Trixie muttered, barely audible.
“Well, no wonder you're not feeling well. Just try to relax, and I'll go get something for us both. It was a long and boring meeting for me, I could use something to eat too.”
Trixie nodded. She was admittedly rather hungry. “Just, please, nothing purple.”
Luna smiled and kissed her again. “Don't worry, I've got it. I'll be back soon.”
* * *
Celestia sat up in her bed as a loud and insistent knocking woke her from her sleep. She blinked a few times and got up. “Yes?”
“Sister, it is me. We must talk.”
Luna's voice sounded nervous through the thick wooden doors of Celestia's bedroom. Celestia opened the doors and looked at her sister as she pushed her way inside. The look on her face made it clear that it could not wait until the morning. “Luna? What's wrong?”
Luna closed the doors behind them and turned to Celestia. “It's Trixie. I think I gave her more than just my blood when I saved her out there in the forest. I think …” Luna looked down, a mix of despair and shame in her voice. “I think I gave Nightmare Moon another soul to torment.”
Celestia looked at Luna seriously. The topic of Nightmare Moon always put her on edge. Losing her only sister to that monster once had left a deep wound in her heart which would never heal. The prospect of losing her again haunted her every night. “What are you saying, Luna?”
Luna sighed, sitting down heavily on Celestia's large bed. “She just told me that she cannot see herself in the mirror, and that she sometimes sees Twilight—a young Twilight—and that they have talked,” Luna explained. “Before I first became Nightmare Moon I felt lonely, unloved and invisible. I would look myself in the mirror and see nothing, and then she would come to me. I fear I've given Nightmare Moon a hoofhold in Trixie's mind, and now she's playing on Trixie's sense of loss.”
Celestia gnawed on her lip as she gazed out the window, a rare sight and a sign that what Luna was saying worried her greatly. “Are you certain of this?”
Luna stood up restlessly. “I can't think of any other explanation, sister. It would be too unbelievable that she just happens to have exactly the same experiences as I did.”
“And you've never told her about your experiences?”
“We've talked about it, but I've never mentioned those … details. It's never really come up. Unless I gave her bits of my memories too when I gave her my blood, but I've had no other indication that this is the case.”
Celestia walked around the bedroom a little, trotting back and forth as she thought. She stopped and looked at Luna. “I'm glad you came to me. I need to think this over, and maybe we need more time and information. Stay with her, Luna, and try to cheer her up, maybe take her out somewhere. And perhaps you should speak with her about these things. I think it is better for her to know what she's dealing with, and for her to know that you stand by her.”
Luna nodded and opened the door. She paused in the doorway and turned to Celestia. “Thank you, sister.”
Celestia smiled. “You know I'll always be there for you.”
* * *
Trixie listened as Luna walked out the door. She sat for a time, staring at the mirror and the book, then she closed it and got up. She walked out the door into the large hall.
Luna's private quarters were quite expansive, as befitting a princess, but most of it was barely used. Luna spent most of her time in the smaller study and bedroom when she wasn't out and about. Trixie found it a little odd when she had all this space to roam in, but Luna said she liked it cozy.
She walked up to one of the doors leading out onto the balcony overlooking the gardens and pushed it open. Stepping out into the cool night air, she let her eyes drift out over Equestria below her. Somewhere out there were the answers to her questions.
Trixie stepped up to the edge of the balcony and spread her wings. For a moment she hesitated, and with a sigh she sat down gazing into the distance. She couldn't do this alone. But could she convince Luna to go along with it, and how far?
The sound of the door opening broke her out of her thoughts. She listened as hooves walked towards the bedroom, then paused and turned around, coming her way. Luna poked her head outside. “Oh, there you are. I found some scraps from the zebras' dinner.” She walked out and sat next to Trixie, offering a plate of various treats.
Trixie took the food. She was admittedly happy to get something to eat after going a day without anything. Luna smiled and sat down next to her, eating a little herself while watching the stars. Trixie could sense that something was on her mind, but the princess remained silent. After a while, Trixie decided to break the silence. “I need to go back to Dappleshore. Tonight.”
Luna almost choked on a piece of dessert. She coughed a little and looked at Trixie with concern. “Why? There's nothing to go back to, and I thought we agreed it was best to put it behind us.”
Trixie considered the plate before her. “Something is wrong, Luna. Something is happening to me, and I don't know what it is. I need answers. I need to know what exactly we're dealing with.” She idly turned the plate a few times. “There are so many questions about what happened, with Twilight and with me, not to mention you and Midnight. We still don’t know what exactly your blood did to me either, and how much of it was Twilight’s magic.”
She paused, and sighed as she looked back across the skies. “I know you have no more answers than I do. I’m sure you would have told me if you did, and that's why I … why we must find out more.” She looked at Luna, pleadingly. “But I don't want to do it alone. I need you, Luna. I need you to support me in this, because I don't want to lose myself like … like Twilight did.”
Luna stared down into the floor. “You know I'll always be there for you, but there's something I need to tell you about the things you see in the mirror. I think it's Nightmare Moon.” Trixie looked at Luna who quickly continued, trying to explain. “The things you described to me, that you can't see your own reflection, that's exactly like I felt before becoming Nightmare Moon all those ages ago. I felt invisible, empty and alone, and she filled that emptiness and gave me false comfort. And I fear that I may have given you a part of her, or a link maybe, when I gave you my blood.”
Trixie was silent for a long time, digesting the news. After a time she nodded a little. “Isn't that just more proof that we are woefully ignorant of what exactly your blood, and all the other magic, did to me?” She looked up at Luna “Please Luna, I must return to Dappleshore. We must learn all that we can before it's too late, and I don't want to be alone.”
Luna sank a bit. “Maybe we should speak with my sister.”
“She's asleep at this hour. There's no immediate threat right now, we're just going for a brief visit to the place where it happened. We'll talk to her tomorrow, I promise. I'm not trying to go behind her back or anything.”
Luna sighed deeply. She didn't want to tell Trixie that Celestia was almost certainly awake, because Luna had just been there. She looked Trixie deep in the eyes. “We'll go to Dappleshore, then talk to Celestia in the morning. But I need you to promise me something. I want you to promise that you won't speak with Twilight in the mirror. I don't think you can trust her.”
Trixie frowned a little. “It's going to be a little difficult to avoid all reflective surfaces.”
“Please, just try to ignore her. Don't speak with her if she appears. That's all I ask,” Luna pleaded.
Trixie looked down. Something inside her felt bad about having to ignore the little purple filly, ignore Twilight. What if she wasn't bad? What if she was lost too and needed help?
Luna reached out to her. “Please, for me.”
“I … I promise.”
* * *
The mountains rushed past below them as they made their way south-east from Canterlot towards the marshes and forests south of the horseshoe bay.
Trixie had never flown before Luna's blood transformed her, and the thrill of gliding effortlessly through the air was enough to bring the first significant smile to her face since waking up that day. The cool night wind under her wings and in her mane was amazing. She could see why all the pegasi always seemed so spirited.
However, it was not without some relief that she spotted the marshy fields of Dappleshore. She wasn't exactly in good shape yet, and it was a long flight from Canterlot to Dappleshore. They touched down upon the hard stones of Pedigree Lane. Trixie stood for a time, staring at the barren lot of land in front of them.
Only two months ago an old mansion had stood here, now it was gone, torn down piece by piece and everything burned at Celestia's decree. Trixie had been happy to see it all gone, cleansed by the fires and forever removed from the face of Equestria. But now she worried how much had been lost in the fires. How many important answers.
Luna placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder, and together they walked across the scorched fields. Trixie felt a deep sadness as she walked in silence upon the ground where, a few months ago, she had spent her days with Twilight. Where everything had finally started to go right for her, for once in her life, only for it all to plummet to the earth like a young bird thrown out of the nest too early.
The edge of the woods came closer, and Trixie felt the sadness joined by a sense of dread. She stopped a few yards from the line of trees. “I nearly died in there, and you saved me. You gave me your blood.”
Luna didn't say anything.
“Do you think she intended to finish the job when she brought me to that hilltop?”
Luna shook her head a little. “I don't know. But if she had intended that, I don't see why she would have waited or hesitated. Whatever it is, I'm just glad you survived.”
Trixie nodded faintly. “I just wish Twilight hadn't died.”
“We all do,” Luna said and squeezed Trixie gently.
Trixie sighed deeply and looked into the darkness of the forest. With a moment to gather her nerves she walked into the woods, walking slowly among the trees. Luna followed quietly next to her. Somewhere an owl cried its eerie cry. Trixie paused and looked around as if listening to the forest around her. “Luna, do zebras have magic?”
Luna stopped and brushed her mane away from her eyes with a slight shake. “Not as such. They are much like earth ponies. Quite knowledgeable about the natural world and its herbs, including the many magical ones, of course, but no inherent magic like the unicorns. The rhinos have magic.”
“Rhinos?” Trixie quirked an eyebrow. She had admittedly never worried much about the wider world and its cultures. Maybe it was different for pegasi who could more easily travel about, but to her Equestria had always seemed very large, and the idea that there were other lands beyond its borders never really occupied her mind before.
Luna nodded, smiling. “Yes. They are very large creatures with horns on their noses. They are not as many as the zebras, and they stay mostly to themselves, but the two races do have an old relationship of sorts. Mutual respect, I suppose you could best call it.”
“I'm afraid I'm not quite up to date on this, however. Last time I spent any significant time with the zebras was thousands of years ago when I was young and Celestia sent me off on a 'diplomatic' visit. I was so bored.” Luna chuckled at the memory. “Hearing the locals talk endlessly about agriculture and herbs just didn't thrill a young princess, I suppose. I think the zebras still tell tales about that visit.”
Trixie tried to imagine all the disastrous scenarios she could involving Luna in the lands of the zebras. The silly ideas made her smile briefly as she continued her walk, dodging a few low branches.
Luna followed calmly. “Why did you ask?”
“It just occurred to me that Zecora seemed remarkably prescient about Twilight. She appeared to have concerns before anypony else noticed anything amiss. I wonder what she might have known. And why did Midnight kill her? She must have come too close to something.”
Luna nodded a little. “I doubt we'll ever know. But the lands of the zebras are steeped in old magic and dark mysteries. Perhaps she simply noticed some warning sign that we missed.”
Trixie walked on silently until Luna stopped her and pointed at the glade in front of them. “This is here. This is where I found you.”
Trixie felt an icy chill and a sudden desire to turn and run. Even now something about this forest, and this place in particular, made her feel weak.
Luna nuzzled her gently. “Don't worry, it's in the past now, and I'm here with you.”
Trixie breathed slowly and deeply, then glanced around. The rain had no doubt washed away the blood long ago, and for that she was thankful. Her eyes wandered over the large, pointy rocks strewn about the glade … like teeth.
A glimpse of white teeth in the darkness flashed in her mind, a sudden memory previously locked away in the dark depths of her mind. Trixie stumbled, but Luna caught her. Her legs trembled, and she spread her wings. “I don't want to stay here! Let's go. I've seen enough. There's nothing but bad memories here.”
Luna followed as Trixie set off in flight, rising swiftly over the canopy of the woods. They flew back towards the village, leaving the glade behind them.
* * *
The land upon which the farm had been was a dreary, depressing wasteland as Trixie and Luna touched down on the muddy, trampled ground. This was where most of Celestia's efforts had been focused. For weeks, large teams of ponies had scoured every inch of the place, dug the whole field up and carefully searched every ounce of dirt. Bones and ashes—such as could be recovered—had been gathered for burial elsewhere, while everything else had been collected, under the strict and watchful eyes of the royal guard, to be burned. For weeks the pyres had burned away, leaving only ashes and coal.
The sight of the ruined and charred fields was utterly depressing, and the thought that this was where Twilight had met her final fate made Trixie lose her breath and almost fall over in tears. Had she been alone she might have given in to the grief, but Luna's presence gave her some strength.
Trixie walked slowly between the pyres which the rain had only managed to condense into black hills dotting the landscape. Why had she come here? She had known that she would find nothing but ashes. Frustrated she sat down on the cold, wet ground and stared at the pile in front of her. Luna stood beside her, staring sadly into the ground.
Idly, Trixie began to dig in the pile of ash and coal with a large flat stone, her horn glowing stronger as a hope and a faint prayer formed somewhere in her mind.
Luna looked up with a slight start. “What are you planning?”
Trixie didn't pause. “I have to find answers!”
Luna whinnied nervously, but Trixie continued digging deeper and deeper into the pile, searching, letting her magic feel through the ashes for something … anything to restore. With a sudden rush of energy and determination she sifted through the pile, then the next one, and the next.
And there, amidst the black sludge, something emerged, a tiny fleck of burnt paper. Trixie's eyes narrowed, and beads of sweat gathered on her brow as her horn burned brightly in the night.
Luna shifted uncomfortably as paper began to grow from the tiny flake. “Celestia is going to kill us! She will kill us, and then send us both to the moon!”
But Trixie didn't listen. She smiled as she gazed upon the intact piece of paper. She turned it and tilted her head. “An envelope …” she muttered, a hint of disappointment that it wasn't more, and held it closer. It was addressed to one Gray Ashes, Buckskin Road 5, Dappleshore, and a seal had been stamped on the front. Trixie narrowed her eyes and read it out aloud.
“Hoofswell Insane Asylum.”