Berry hummed happily as he topped a nifty little party hat atop Barrett’s head. The yellow and pink cone with a light blue tassel sat idly on the human’s dome, and he rested chin in hand eyes peering out the Sugarcube window and into the merry little streets beyond.
“Oooo, this is gonna be sooo much fun, are you excited, Barecoot? I’m excited, we can dance, and sing and play spin the bottle.” Berry danced about the despondent human, adding a brow wiggle at the last suggestion.
“Uh-huh, okay, yeah Berry,” Barrett said, eyes never moving from their look out into the streets beyond. The plucky baker stopped his incessant bouncing and eyed his human friend with a deep scowl and a hoof scratching his chin, then two, then three. It was at this point, Berry noticed his folly and fell to his rump.
“So, whatcha looking for?” Berry asked, throwing himself on Barrett’s back and setting his head on his friend’s shoulder. “Are you looking for early birds, cause we have almost an hour before party time?”
Barrett ill-prepared for the positively plump poundage of the positive proponent of pleasant parties stuck to his back quickly found himself toppled forward in his seat, the party hat he’d had settled on his head meeting an untimely meeting with the floor. “Berry, why?” the human asked as he struggled under the giggling pony in question.
Berry offered a fit of giggles and nuzzled the body beneath him. “Sorry, you were just so lost in thought, I thought I’d get lost on you.”
“Seems like you two are having fun?” the sudden interjection of a precocious, predictably pre-punctual, purple, prodigy pondered as he entered the bakery. Dusk Shine attempted to hide a smirk as he floated the floored duo to their feet. “I thought it would be smart to preempt any of Berry’s more, blunt plots.”
“Sorry to say, you failed,” Barrett said as he rubbed a hand over his lower back. “First a sprained leg, now a bruised coccyx. Just my luck, huh?”
“It was just a hug, Dusk, nothing naughty. Though, I could always,” Berry plastered his body against Barrett’s side. “If you want?” Berry blew a couple kisses at his target. Who pushed the pony from his position and offered a blanched look at Dusk.
“Berry, that won’t work,” dusk said with a stern waggle of his hoof. Barrett nodded in agreement. “You have to work up to kissing, especially at a party. Some ponies are a lot less comfortable with public displays of affection.” Barrett’s approval quickly reversed, and he held up his hands, head shaking like a bobblehead. “Which I believe is where I’ve been going wrong with my precious little Barrett.” It was then that the thoroughly red human realized he was the only one living in reality and planted a hand firmly into his face. To which he mouthed a pained string of curses in a bout of annoyance and regret.
“For the love of all that is decent, someone, please end me,” Barrett whined as he found his way to the nearest chair. “Why me?”
“But you planned this party, silly,” Berry offered a gentle boop to Barrett’s nose and smiled merrily at the human. Who, because ponies were witches and apparently had the magic power to make human’s bend to their cuteness, smiled back.
“And I dare say, it looks to be quite the soirée indeed,” a fourth voice added. Elusive along with the class three hurricane disguised as a trio of excitable colts joined the growing collective. “I hope your leg is doing better, mon ami,” Elusive added with a weak smile, and a glance over at the CMC, who’d already taken to inspecting the snack table.
“A little stiff and sore, but I’ll live,” Barrett responded with a gentle pat to the perturbed patella.
“Barrett, oh gosh, what happened to your leg, are you okay? Do you want me to take a look? I might know a spell that could help,” Dusk rambled as Barrett found himself being fussed over by the unicorn, who seemed on the verge of tears as he nuzzled the human softly.
“Berry?”
“Yes, Bare-Bear?”
“How long was that?”
“Three minutes, seven seconds,”
Barrett planted a firm hand over dusk’s mane and gave it a solid noogie. “Three minutes and you already went all hoofsy. So much for trying to warm up to cuddling,” Barrett’s words had only just left his mouth before Dusk stiffened, removed himself from Barrett’s personage and blushed so hard one might think his blood was a boil.
“Right, yes I’m sorry, but you’re hurt and I just,” Dusk fumbled for words as he stared at the ground.
“Now now, darling, there is nothing wrong with doting on your stallion.” Dusk’s ears flickered as he looked up from the ground. “That’s why you should leave poor little Barrett to me.” Elusive flashed a broad smile and patted Dusk on his shoulder.
Dusk for his part battled the hof away and marched over to the spot to Barrett’s immediate left. “I will protect my stallion just fine, thank you very much.”
“Oh, great, I didn’t realize I was property, gee whiz,” Barrett said, throwing a finger in the air and painting little circles in celebration.
“Yeah, Biggs is nopony’s property,” Rainbow Blitz in all his saving-Barrett-from-certain-enslavement glory stood wings flared in the doorway. “He’s my partner. So back off.”
Barrett had come to expect jokes and jibes, flirtatious looks and pick-up lines from the ponies he kinda considered his friends. But, he’d be damned if they were gonna treat him like a freaking lamp to just trade around.
“Darling, Blitz I consider you a close friend, so please don’t take this the wrong way. But why in heavens would Barrett pick someone who gave him a black eye over nothing?” Elusive asked with a sly grin.
“That coming from the guy who nearly got his leg broken, by not watching the CMC,” Blitz yelled back, as he shook in place.
“What in the hay did I just walk into?” Applejack asked as he pushed passed the fuming Blitz. A very uncertain Butterscotch following behind. It was at that moment that for the briefest moment the entire room froze.
Butterscotch was good at blending in, standing in a crowded room and being as overlooked as a chair. That skill, however, was crushed under the weight of the poor pony's attire. It wasn’t complicated or as dazzling as last time, but Barrett still felt his mind and heart skip a beat as the timid pegasus stood hoof scraping the ground face hidden partially under his mane as all eyes, except those of the stalwart farmer he’d arrived with pierced into the light green dress he wore. The fabric was thin and flowing, the trim laced with simple flowers and a sash held the middle tight against his small frame.
“I’m sorry,” Butterscotch muttered under his breath. “Angelica said I should be bold if I want to win my stallion,” Barrett felt his cheeks burn but as too the cause, shock, embarrassment or adoration that Scotch would make himself the face of the party for his notice, he wasn’t sure.
“Well, Butterscotch dear, it’s a rather elegant ensemble, it that means anything,” Elusive seemed to be stuck in a similar situation as he eyed up the dress, his gaze never meeting the awkward glances of the dress’ occupant.
“Oooo, it’s sooo pretty Scotchy,” Berry added as he bounded over and pulled his friend into a mighty embrace. “I’m just sorry you had to get all embarrassed over something like that,” Berry’s smile grew as he pulled the perplexed gaze of his pegasus companion to arms length. “I mean, Barrett’s totally my special somepony.”
Applejack pulled the now glaring Butterscotch from the arms of the beaming baker. “Hey, now don’t go claimin’ ownership of someone without their permission.”
Barrett let out a sigh of relief. “Good at least someone still has a shred of sanity.” Barrett wiped a hand over his forehead, a dull thump has settled behind his eyes, and he could feel the tells of a migraine tapping at the edges of his mind. Or, maybe that was an aneurysm, he wasn’t entirely sure at the moment.
“Says the guy who won’t even admit he likes Biggs,” Blitz said with a jab into the dutiful farmers' side. “Or did you think all of us missed the way to stare at him,” Blitz added another jab and a grin.
AJ’s face lit up like a forest fire faster than a sonic rainboom. In the same instant, his brow collided with the antagonistic speedster’s. “How I pursue the folk I do or do not like is up to me, partner. So, I suggest you back off.”
Barrett’s eyes flicked between the arguing mass of stallions. Blitz and AJ were locked in a brutal case of unstoppable force and immovable object as they swapped barbs and butts of the head variety.
Butterscotch at the moment the two more actively inclined stallions had started their battle of wits, had taken the opportunity to return fire at the perky pink pony who dismissed him moments ago.
“So what, you think if you ask enough, Barrett might get annoyed enough to like you?” Butterscotch planted a hoof firmly against Berry’s chest. “At least I don’t go around ruining his meals and try to sabotage his friendships.” Berry was left speechless as he stared into the deep infinite gaze of Butterscotch’s patent-pending Stare.
The thump in the back of Barrett’s head redoubled. He could feel his blood start to curdle as he watched the party turned battleground. He wasn’t the only one, as the CMC, had been left in shocked silence behind him. Barrett stood and silently marched to the colts who looked up at him in confusion. Barrett knelt down and placed a hand atop two of the colt’s heads. He offered a small, wary smile as the trinity before him, provided unsure looks of their own.
“A’ve never seen em’ so mad at each other,” Buck whispered, he’d taken to hiding as much of his face as he could behind his favorite bandanna.
“This is so not cool,” Scootaroll agreed pulling a sniffling Silver Bell to his side.
The sound of Elusive balking drew Barrett’s attention back to the war zone behind him. “Please, I may have let the children get a bit too rowdy, but who was it again who burned down Barrett’s home again?” Elusive asked a fuming Dusk Shine.
“I made a mistake, Barrett forgave me, I learned from that,” Dusk grimaced. “Lapse in judgment.”
“Oh yes, because paying for what you broke is so heroic,” Elusive responded with a stomp. “I’m surprised Barrett didn’t file for a restraining order.”
Dusk’s tears hit the ground before he realized he’d started crying. “H-he’d never do that,” Dusk whispered as he wiped away tears. Elusive fell back onto his haunches jaw slack, he attempted to reach out only to drop his leg back limply. “He’d never do that to me!” Dusk yelled. The room fell silent. The other bickering stallions being pulled from their own heated talks to the now sobbing Dusk, who’d turned to the kneeling Barrett. “Would you?”
Barrett felt numb. His body convulsed with muscles he didn’t realize could spasm. The human slowly stood, his eyes steeled, a smoldering blaze in a furnace overflowing with fuel. He bit his lower lip as he scanned the stallions in the room, and let his gaze settle on the banner that hung in the center of the room. The banner was simple, a white canvas with thick yellow text: “Thanks for Making This World My Home.” Barrett had written it himself. For all the stupidity and insanity of this world, he’d thought there was no place he’d rather be anymore. That was then, now, now, however, he wondered if he meant that.
“That’s enough, I’m done here,” Barrett’s voice was barely above a whisper, but the words traveled with more than enough weight to drain the light from the room. The stallions who only a moment ago stood bickering over who deserved what now stood in shocked silence. It was like time itself froze the room whole. “I’ve had enough of this mindless stupidity.” Barrett clapped his hands together. “Congrats, you all lost. You played yourselves, and we,” Barrett stepped aside to the completely sullen trio of colts. “Weren’t even players.”
Barrett strode across the room, each footfall resonated like the tides against the cliffs. “Wait, please,” Barrett halted meters from the door and looked back over his shoulder. “Please Barrett, I’m, I’m sorry,” Dusk hoof stretched out vainly, eyes still dripping with tears gazed at the human.
“He’s right, I was a mite foolish and stupid,” Applejack said hat held in a hoof as he gazed at the floor in front of Barrett.
Barrett crossed his arms, his face was stoic, jaw set his fingers tapped hard against his arms.
“Scotchy,” Berry let out a wail as he pulled the pegasus into a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry, I was such a meanie mcselfish pants.” Scotch only hesitated a second before returning his friends hug. “And your dress is soooo cute,” Berry added with another sniffle.
“We really did buck this up, we didn’t just lose, we broke both wings before the startline,” Blitz said eyes frozen on the likes of the CMC who sat idly by watching as the adults prattled on. “Squirt, I’m sorry,” Blitz watched as Scootaroll, Silver still crying softly shook his head and pulled his sobbing friend closer.
“I think, we’re all sorry, I think, perhaps, more than the children or each other, we owe Barrett an apology more than anypony,” Elusive said as he rubbed a hoof over the somber Dusk Shine who nodded along.
Applejack stomped the floor his hat crushed in one hoof. “We treated ya like you weren’t even here.”
“We were all so selfish,” Butterscotch said from his place inside Berry’s firm embrace.
“We just wanted you to feel like we do,” Dusk Shine said. His cheeks were stained, but the tears had stopped. “But all we did was push you farther away.”
“How?” Barrett asked the group. The six looked blankly at him, the question hanging in the air. “How did you think, how did you think this would end?” Barrett yelled fists at his sides, his teeth set in a feral glower.
The group gave mumbled partial answers. The human snorted a mirthless laugh. “I’ll tell you how, in the best case scenario, I picked one of you and broke six other hearts.” Barrett raised both hands wide and gestured to the room. “Is that what you wanted, would the winner feel satisfied humiliating and crushing the hope of their friends?”
The room was silent, not a single movement or word from the group. “Worst case, I reject you all. Do you think any of you even deserve my love, hell, do any of you deserve my fucking friendship?” The stallions shrank back. Those who weren’t or hadn't cried looked on the verge of tears. “I tell you I’m not gay, you flirt anyway. I could tolerate that. But, it’s passed flirting, way past flirting. Most of you have tried things that would have broken a lesser man, or driven them away.” Barrett pointed at the ground beneath him. “But for whatever reason, I stayed. I gave you more chances than most of you probably deserve.” The fire had left Barrett's eyes. He felt drained, he pulled his glasses from their perch and rubbed a hand over his face. “Even if I was gay, can any of you honestly say you deserve what you want?”
Barrett dropped his hand from his face and peered out into the group of crying, shaking voiceless stallions. He looked over the stunned colts and back. “I can’t say I get the whole magic of Love thing, but I did learn one thing from the wedding.” Barrett sighed heavily. “Ponies love completely and honestly, maybe too much so. I know all of you are better than this. You were my friends, heck, you were my family. I get thrown into a new world and still managed to find a place I belonged,” Barrett points to the banner. The entirety of the room follows his pointing hand. “Was I wrong? Because at this point, I don’t even know.”
Barrett turned and walked out of the bakery leaving his friends alone in the silence. He barely felt his feet on the ground. If the streets were packed or empty, it wasn't worth note. He merely walked, until he wasn’t anymore.
Barrett sat on a bench in the Ponyville park. He wasn’t sure how long he was there, but there he sat lost in his thoughts. The day replayed in his head, and the longer he dwelled in those thoughts, the sicker he felt. Barrett reached into his back pocket and pulled the same blasted Walkman that started this whole thing. “Why me, why the hell did you do this to me, you fucking piece of trash?!” Barrett yelled at the device before hurling it with all his might into the treeline.
Barrett looked up at the sky, he blinked in surprise to find the sun setting. “How long have I been sitting here?”
“Long enough it seems.” Ample Grace in all her impeccable glory stood to the side of the bench. She glanced over the dejected human. “A bit for your thoughts?”
I don’t--” Barrett was pulled handily from his seat. Ample pulled him up and onto the path before he could muster up a resistance. Barrett tapped his back pocket and silently cursed as a familiar weight sat as always.
“You will be joining me for dinner, and you will tell me everything,” Ample’s words were not to be questioned. Barrett shuddered as he braced himself for one hell of a meal.