//------------------------------// // A lesson learned. // Story: A Discorded Dilemma // by xombiekilla //------------------------------// DISSCOORD!!! "Well at least it's an improvement to your usual gloomy mane!" Said Discord as he was mocking Luna. "What!?! You whelp! My mane is suppose to be dark and gloomy! I'm the princess of the night, not the day!" Luna yelled back at Discord. "Well excuse me princess! But that's not my problem, now is it?" Discord said with a raised eyebrow. You could swear that Luna was seeing red, she was about ready to tear his horns off and shove them up his ass she was so mad at him! "YOU SHALL FIX THIS, RIGHT NOW!!!" Luna said in her royal voice! Steam was billowing from her nostrils as Discord continued to mock her still! "Well you'd have to pardon me dearest snicker Sunbutt, but i've got some more pranking to do now! Tootles!" Discord said as he folded onto himself and then disappeared from Luna's sight! "SUNBUTT!!!" Luna yelled in her rage! "You come back here you wretched draconiquis! I'm not finished with you yet!" Luna said as Discord was gone, much to her dismay! "I can't wait for that delicious cake, oh it smells so good in there!" Celestia said as she was waiting at the dining table for her cake to be made to order. Being the monarch of an entire country can be absolute murder on someone's nerves. "I can just taste it now!" Celestia said to herself as the chefs in the royal kitchen were almost finished making it! "Sinister chuckling! I certainly hope that Celly doesn't mind that good ol' chef Discord makes some... much needed alterations to her order! After all, you know what they say! "Eat your greens, kiddies! Muhahaha!" Discord said as he snapped his talon to change the filling of the cake from vanilla creme', to broiled collard greens and spinach, the kind that stunk badly! "Bon appetit, mon cheri! I hope your dessert is to your satisfaction!" Discord as he was stroking his french moustache with his talons as if he believed that he were an actual french chef, just for that short brevity! "Ooh! I better make myself scarce in case anypony gets suspicious!" Discord said as he stretched out his chef's hat and pulled it over his body and the giant chef's hat just popped like a balloon as he disappeared into nothing! "Your Highness! Dessert is served!" The head chef exclaimed as she served Celestia's dish to her, her mouth watering! "Oh my goodness! This cake looks just so lovely! I can't wait to dig in... thank you so very much for this!" Celestia said as she pulled a piece off of the cake to take a bite! "Time for the moment of truth, ooh.. I can't wait!" Discord mutters to himself as Celestia nose began to twitch for a moment! 'Oh poo! does she actually know that it's been spiked?' Discord thought to himself! 'Wait a minute, she's inspecting the cake... her muzzle is getting closer to it... she's opening up her mouth... YES! Gotcha Sunbutt!' Discord thought to himself as Celestia began to ask. "This cake really smells funny for some strange reason. Are you guys sure that you got my order down right?" Celestia asked the chef! "Absolutely, your Highness. You ordered the triple layer marble and maple frosted cake with vanilla creme' filling no?" Asked the chef. "Yes.. I did. Well maybe this one's a brand new flavor of filling then. How exciting!" Celestia said as she put the piece of cake into her mouth and was about to close it! Then the double doors suddenly busted opened up with a frazzled maned Luna with Celestia's mane instead of her usual one! "Nay sister wait! Do not eat of that spoiled cake! ...Oh no..." Luna grimaced as Celestia began to chew the piece of cake and then swallow it down! Suddenly the sound of a glass shattering could be heard as her eyes were widened to the size of dinner plates, her pupils shrunk to pinpricks, her face suddenly turned green and she was jerking her head left and right and pounding the table with her fists uncontrollably! "Mmm mmm, mmm mmm!" Celestia was moaning her displeasure at the new horrible aftertaste of broiled collared greens and spinach, mixed with her actual vanilla creme' that she ordered! "Oh my god! What was in that filling?" Celestia asked as she was cringing and gagging from the piece of cake she ate. "Holy hay! T-That's just abhorrent, it's taste is so awful!" Celestia said in major disapproval. 'Muhahaha... yes! Master of chaos two, princesses of Equestria zero!' Discord thought to himself, proud of his accomplishment. "I-I... I don't understand! The filling was suppose to be vanilla creme' flavor, not collared greens and spinach!" The chef said while sticking out her tongue in disgust! "DISSSCOORD!!!" Luna yelled in rage as Celestia was busy throwing up into a waste bin next to her! "I love my job! Muhahaha!" Discord cheered as he flew down the corridor of the castle opposite of the royal dining hall and the raging night princess! "I shall have thine flanks on a spit for this injustice, draconiquis!" Luna shouted as she chased Discord through the hallways of their castle! Luna was actually catching up... oh crap, Discord was actually becoming concerned at the thought of actually being caught by the mad mare! "I will catch you Discord! And when I do..." Luna said as she was reaching out to grab his tail. "No! I don't think so Lulu!" Discord said as he threw a cream pie at Luna's face, it made a very satisfying Splat! sound as Luna lit her horn to burn it off with her magic, spitting some it's whipped cream out of her mouth as she continued the chase. "Neaghh, you won't catch me! I won't give up that easily, you know!" Discord said as he was almost outside of their castle, he was almost free! "Neither shall I, Discord!" Said Luna as she managed to grab onto his tail and pull him down to the floor and then pin him to the ground with a soul piercing glare, into his now scared eyes! "This pointless game of cat and mouse is now OVER!" Luna declared angrily. "Umm... Maybe we can still talk about this Luna?" Discord said hoping for mercy and expecting a nasty punishment! "Nay Discord! You blew your chance at mercy when you've poisoned my dearest sister! I have a most appropriate punishment for thee!" Luna said now adorning a more sinister look on her face. "Gulping! Why do I get the feeling that I would prefer to be a lawn ornament over this?" Said Discord forlornly! Luna only just chuckled darkly to hearing this! "You're going to first apologize to Celestia for what you've done to her and then we shall commence with thine punishment!" Luna said as she was forcibly dragging Discord's body along the floor back to the dining room to confront Celestia. "B-But wait! Luna... What if she blasts me with her magic? I don't want that to happen to me!" Discord said to Luna who only just shrugged and said. "Well excuse me, draconiquis! But that's not my problem, now is it?" Luna said snidely. "Hey! You stole that line from me!" Discord said to Luna. "Nopony likes to have their own words used against them, huh?" Luna asked Discord. Discord only stuck his tongue out at Luna, causing her to hiss back at him. "You're in quite enough hot water as it is, Discord! It's very unwise to worsen thine situation!" Luna said to Discord! "Oh poo!" Discord said defeated and caught as they were now both at the door to the dining room. Luna had then opened it up and threw Discord in there! "No! Please don't leave me in here with her! I'm begging you!" Discord said as he was pounding the doors that Luna was keeping shut with her magic! "Why hello there, Discord!" Celestia suddenly said to get his attention! "Eep! H-Hey there C-Celly! haha.. it was all just harmless fun and games, right?" Discord said as he laughed nervously to Celestia who suddenly made a serious scowl at him, her eyes were like daggers, piercing through him. "That wasn't very nice what you did to both Luna and I, what do you have to say for yourself?" Celestia said angrily. "Ok... i'm sorry for what I've done, please let me go, I don't want to be in here!" Discord said to Celestia. "Well now I think it's time that we did a little prank of our own on you, Discord!" Celestia said to Discord. as she lit up her horn and teleported the dining table and it's chairs away, stomped her foot down in anger as she was glaring at him! "Nope! I'm not staying in here with you Sunbutt! I'm out of here! Adios muchacha!" Discord said as he tried to snap his talon to escape... nothing! He tried his paw next... still nothing! "What the... Why isn't my magic working?" Discord said nervously! "Don't bother using your magic in here! I've taken the liberty of installing chaos nulling runes around this room, while you were being chased by my sister! Now you've got nowhere else to go!" Celestia declared as she began to bloat up? Was she actually getting bigger? Her entire body was slowly inflating to take up nearly a quarter of the entire room! When she was finished growing, she looked like a small blimp and her body was slowly bouncing in place as she had an aggressive look on her face! "Holy... cow! You look humongous! What have you done to yourself?" Discord said in a panic. "Inflation spell, now hold still Discord! This won't hurt a bit!" Said Celestia as she was slowly beginning to bounce towards Discord. Every time her belly hit the ground, it molded and contorted flatter and made an airy squish noise as if she were filled with helium. Her body was like a massive bouncy ball, bouncing up and squishing back down. Celestia was headed straight for Discord's helpless body. "For some reason, I find that very hard to believe!" Discord said to Celestia. as she created a small tremor every time her belly hit the ground. BOING!!! BOING!!! BOING!!! "Luna, please. L-let me out of here! I don't want to be squished underneath her body!" Cried Discord as he was steadily pounding desperately to the door Luna was blocking. BOING!!! BOING!!! BOING!!! "I-If this is your idea of a cruel prank, it's effective! You guys have got me good! Now... LET ME OUTTA HERE!" Discord said as Celestia was getting closer and closer to him. BOING!!! BOING!!! BOING!!! "NO! Nononono... NOOO!!!" Discord yelled out when Celestia's belly landed on him! BOOOM!!! Discord was freaking out as her belly was literally squishing him flat. For the first time in his life, he now knew how a pancake felt, being pressed into the range! Celestia kept bouncing on top of Discord's body, squishing him more and more. For some strange reason, it wasn't really that painful. Celestia was actually telling the truth. However, there was the pressure of being squashed under her intense weight and of course, the need to breathe occasionally. Those were two things that were very uncomfortable to Discord, two things that he enjoyed most, his magic and being able to breathe. "How're you holding up down there, Dissy? Does it feel good underneath me?" Celestia asked as she continued to squash him more into the floor. Just then, Celestia stopped bouncing and then looked under her belly only to find a flattened Discord stuck to it! "Well then, Discord! It's nice to know that I've left such an impression on you like this!" Said Celestia as she was giggling at her own joke. "Ugh... p-please Celestia, no puns! This is embarrassing enough as it is!" Discord said in defeat! "Luna, come have a look here! Look what I did to Discord!" Celestia said proudly as she presented her bloated belly over to Luna who only just laughed as she mocked him further. "Verily dear sister, you have made a new tattoo over thine belly! It's looks very nice on you indeed!" Luna said to her sister. "Well Discord! I suppose Luna wasn't the only one who was full of hot air, huh?" Celestia joked as Discord moaned in disapproval. "Hey! I'm not full of hot air Tia!" Luna huffed to herself. "And what would call that chase with Discord that you've had earlier then?" Celestia asked Luna. "I hath no comment, dear sister!" Luna said tersely. "I rest my case then dear sister, over Discord's body!" Celestia quipped only to goad more moans and groans of both protest and annoyance from the flattened draconiquis underneath Celestia's belly. Both alicorn princesses were laughing and having a very good time teasing Discord like this. "Maybe I should peel him off and then sit on him! What do you say to that, Lulu?" Celestia asked. "NO!... Your belly was bad enough Celestia! Please no more!" Discord said. "That sounds like a splendid idea, Tia!" Luna said as she shot a sinister glare at Discord's flattened form. "...Oh no!" Discord cried as Celestia's magic had peeled him of and laid his body down! "It's decided then Discord, you're going to be squashed by my glorious sunbutt! I hope that after this, you'll learn a very valuable lesson on pranking and why you shouldn't cross boundaries!" Celestia said as she dropped Discord's re-inflated body to the ground and then presented to him her massive ass, it was almost as big as her belly, but not entirely so! 'If I ever live through this, i'm NEVER going to prank Celestia ever again, Luna perhaps, but Celestia.. No!' Thought Discord. "...Oh poo!" Discord said as Celestia said as she began to sit down over Discord's body, squishing him flat underneath her ass. BOOOMM!!! "Indeed Discord! Pray that she doesn't need to do that while you're down there!" Luna said with a dark chuckle as she was watching Celestia's monster of an ass slowly flatten and swallow Discord's body into it. "I can actually feel him squirming underneath me, Luna! It... really doesn't feel all that bad. In fact, I daresay it feels quite good to sit on somepony!" Celestia said as she was bouncing her giant rump over Discord's body, crushing him more and further into them. "Don't feel bad, Discord! Look at it this way, at least your body is actually being useful for a change! I do think that this is an improvement for you!" Luna said as she leaned her head down low enough for her to see Discord's dismayed look on his face. Discord only made a scowl in return. He would of said something if he didn't have Celestia's flank fat covering up his mouth. He couldn't struggle anymore, he was out of both magic and strength. So he just laid there and took it as is. "So dearest sister, you think he's had enough for our prank then?" Luna asked which really surprised Discord. "Hmm... judging by everything he did to us and what I to him... Yeah! I think this is enough." Celestia said as her horn lit up and she was suddenly deflating back to her normal size, and becoming lighter in doing so. Once she was completely back to normal, she got up off of Discord, looked into his stunned eyes, then said. "Now, I hope you've learned a valuable lesson here, I don't want to have to do this again Discord! But if you keep doing your foul pranks..." Said Celestia. "OK! O-Ok then Celestia, Luna, you both win. I've learned to never spike your cake or shampoo ok?" Discord said to them. "Annnd..." Luna asked Discord. "And to not cross boundaries with my pranks!" Discord said begrudgingly. "That's much better Discord, all is forgiven then!" Luna said back with a cheery look to her face. "Just remember Discord, if you step out of line again, i'll always be there to flatten you back into place!" Celestia said to him. "As many times as I need to!" Celestia added with a smirk. "Yes Celestia, I understand!" Discord said in agreement. "Wonderful Discord, I knew you'd be able to see things our way, you're free to go then. Luna, remove the runes and open the door for Discord." Celestia said to her sister. "Of course, dear sister!" Luna replied back as she did as Celestia had asked. "Ooh.. man does it feel good to finally have my mojo back baby!" Discord said out loud. "Just remember what I have said to you!" Celestia said with a serious look on her face. "Yes yes, don't piss in other ponies wheaties, I remember!" Discord said to Celestia and Luna. "Correct, now off you go, we've got an appointment with the royal spa baths that cannot wait!" Celestia said. "Ok then I suppose you can't always have your cake and eat it too." Discord said as he snapped his talon and began to de-materialize into particles flying away. "Adios muchachas!" Discord said as he vanished from their sight. "DISSCORRD!!! I shall have thine flanks for this!!!" Luna yelled in rage as Discord was flying out of the bathroom and a bald and furless Luna chasing suit! "You made a deal!!!" Luna added as she chased Discord again. Discord ran into a corner and Luna with an stark-raving angry face charged right into him. A few minutes later... "Discord! What a lovely surprise! Now I recall us making a deal didn't I? Well if you need another lesson, i'm more than happy to deliver it!" Celestia said as she began to inflate back into her massive form again. "W-Wait a minute Celestia, I can explain!" Discord said as his eyes drifted over to the the head of Luna peeking out from the door, giving him a hateful glare. "There's no need for that! It's obvious that you're doing this on purpose to receive my treatments. And who can blame you, it's not everyday one can indulge in the glory that is the sun you know! I understand you completely!" Celestia said as she was fully inflated again and then began to bounce up high above Discord, he was looking up with wide eyes as her body was getting closer and closer to squashing him. "B-But I... I... Oh poo!" Discord said in defeat as Celestia's mass landed on him. BOOOM!!!