Fallout Equestria: Stable 36

by thecyanidefairy


Chapter Two

Sebright awoke to the feeling of her fur drenched in an icy sweat, her sleep fogged mind wrenched from the safety of slumber. Her heart pounded in her chest with booming rapid thuds, bringing with it a disorienting nausea. Jumbled thoughts began to race around in circles, half formed thoughts and feelings of panic and fear turning her darkened room into a cave of shadowy monsters. Slowly her mind dusted off the cobwebs, taking in the rasp of the sheets against her wet fur, the damp feeling of her mane stuck to her face, the ever present thrum of the stable lights in the hallway. Her wings felt sticky and the feathers gummed together and the blanket was tangled around her hooves, only adding to the feeling of being trapped.

The adrenaline coursing through her left her limbs both weak and jittery, the need to run and hide wrapped in a slow immobility surrounded by a cloud of fear. Her heart drummed out an incoherent beat and her breathing was shallow. Pushing through the unpleasant sensations, she tapped her clock on the bed-stand. Four am, again. Like clockwork this past week she had woken up to a panic attack at precisely four am, every morning. Getting back to sleep was nigh on impossible, her mind too stimulated to drift off again.

She groaned, laying still in her own pool of sweat as she tried to calm her breathing and heart. She tried wiping her mind, focusing on the feelings in her body one by one, just as she was taught by the stable counsellor. Sebright knew if she allowed her mind to wander to her day’s plans, then she would end up being swallowed by her own dread and unable to move at all, sucked into a spiral of catastrophic thinking about everything that could go wrong, everything she dreaded doing. Then she would wind up late for work and that would just make everything worse. Pulling her mind back from that terrible thought, she tried focusing her breathing. She’d have to book in with the counsellor again, find out what in particular was causing these attacks.

She placed her hooves on her stomach, manually taking deep breaths while focusing on the trembling on her hooves. Feeling her tummy rise and fall, the fur soft, if damp, was a grounding comfort. Tensing the muscles in her legs, holding then relaxing. Again. And again. Finally her heart rate began to slow, and with it the rolling sickness began to abide. Breathe in, breathe out. Tense her body, then relax. It wasn’t ideal but it brought her panic attacks down to a level that she could manage, and abated the dizziness long enough that she could roll out of bed and start her day. Guilt pressed against her mind, reminding her the longer she stayed in bed, the less she would get done. Hot tears of frustrating burned at her eyes, and the panic began to gnaw at her mind once again. She was being lazy, rolling about in her bed while there was work to be done. What kind of pegasus was terrified at four am of nothing but her own shadow? A failure, that’s what. Maybe she was better as a flightless. At least they didn’t have the pressure of society pressing down upon them to be perfect. Sebright wished she could be like Snapdragon, cool and uncaring, but that just made her feel like a worse pony. She had to get up, had to start working, but instead she just lay in bed, feeling sorry for her useless self. And just like that, her mind was racing around again.

So much for the breathing exercises.