//------------------------------// // 4. Butter in the Air // Story: Suited for a Challenge // by Mocha Star //------------------------------// The orchestra reached its crescendo, finishing softly to the polite stomping of hooves sporadically around the dance floor. The filly walked around ponies and under a stallion that was less than pleased. She was around a corner before he could complain and Rainbow just plowed through the crowd and simply shoved the stallion aside. She turned the corner and nearly tripped over her. “Hey, why’re you following me, lady?” Rainbow looked down at the filly and shrugged. “Cuz you know where you’re going and I’m not supposed to be here.” She got a flat look in reply. “No, really? Dressed like pink cotton candy in a formal party for a bunch of rich snobs? I thought you were a guest of honor trying to stand out.” “If I was, I’d be the most awesome guest of honor there ever was,” Rainbow would have struck an awesome pose, but she wasn’t in the position or costume for it. “You… are familiar. Didn’t you almost fall to your death a couple years ago or something and a unicorn had to save you?” Rainbow recoiled with a gasp. “You don’t know about that?! I was the one who saved a unicorn from falling to her death,” she grinned, “and a couple Wonderbolts, too. It, was, awesome. I even did a sonic rainboom, second time in history, both by me.” With a roll of her eyes so mighty her little head moved with them, the filly turned and trotted away. “Whatever you say, super mare. I’ve got a friend to meet and don’t have time for you.” “Wait, what’s your name? Where am I? Have you seen a yellow pegasus with a pink mane she hides behind?” “Name’s Kira, you’re in Windfall, and why the hell do you think I know everypony?” Rainbow flinched at the Kira’s verbiage. “Watch the language, you’re gonna get us in trouble.” Kira inhaled deeply, sucked in her bottom lip, and started blowing and forming an ‘f’ sound when she stumbled over the dress she was wearing and landed on her chest with a sudden exhale. “F-udge. Heh,” she smirked as she got up and brushed her dress flat again, “gotcha. C’mon, stalker, the gal’s up ahead.” “I’m not a stalker, I’m Rainbow Dash, the best flier in-” “Yeah, sure you are. I’m Kira, princess of farts. Behold my power,” she showed her mighty power while Rainbow was about to speak and then coughed. “Guh, ack! My mouth was open, nasty! What kinda power is that?” Kira groaned. “I was hoping the power to get you to shut up and leave me alone, but I guess it’s a bit weak. I’ve gotta power it up some. Come on,” she looked ahead and side to side as they walked down an empty hallway, “walk closer, stalker.” Rainbow frowned at her. “I’m not a stalker!” “Then why’re you following a filly you don’t know down a long and lonely hallway at night, alone,” she slowed and her head turned slightly so she could see Rainbow out of the corner of her eye. She gasped and started to gallop. “You won’t get me! Stranger danger! Help, she’s gonna foalnap me!” Kira’s voice echoed through the hall and Rainbow gave chase, her legs pounding on the floor and suddenly she was silent, slowing down as she left the ground. “Oh no, stupid no wings, fluffy stupid suit!” she landed again and resumed the chase as Kira turned a corner and a door slamming echoed. Rainbow turned the corner after her and skidded to a stop. “Of course,” she sighed as she looked down the hallway. Doors every few paces for nearly two hundred strides, and Kira was behind one that may lead to others. “Yeah, forget that,” she went to the first door and opened it to a blank stone wall that was as smooth as glass. The door opposite was the same, as were the next three doors. “Okay, this’ a waste of my time. Forget you, kid, I’ve got important ponies to find and you aren’t one of them.” She slammed the door and down the hall three opened. “Gotcha,” she shouted as she galloped to one of the doors and turned to enter the room. She yelped and flailed her legs over the open air, barely managing to get to a hover in time. The door slammed shut behind her, leaving her floating in an unknown sky. She flew to the door and rattled the handle, bucked the door, managing to fling herself very far away from it, once she got back to it, Rainbow rested her head against it. “C’mon, kid. Open the door so I can go home.” The door clicked and then flipped open from the bottom, sending Rainbow into the sky over the door. The filly peeked out and looked left, right, then down. She shrugged and the door reclosed before Rainbow could call out to her. Rainbow looked around the area with a scowl, then noticed something she knew very well. Training rings made from clouds, two of them that she could see, were set up a ways away. Rings meant pegasi, pegasi meant Fluttershy. With an annoyed groan, Rainbow hovered slowly towards her objective. About half way there she grabbed a piece of cloud from one drifting by and formed it into a plank, then knocked herself over the head with it every time she thought of how long it was taking. “Ugh, it’s been -whack- hours it feels like. The stupid -whack- rings are right there! Float faster -whack, whack, whack- stupid body. If I had my wings I’d be there already!” she shouted and dispersed the cloud she was hitting herself with. More time passed, and Rainbow was practically drooling from boredom while she floated ever closer, until she felt a shove from behind. “C’mon old lady, we’ve been watching you forever, you’re gonna miss the race!” Rainbow grinned and her heart rate jumped. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Speed, finally.” She looked back and a laugh died in her throat. She was looking at Gilda and herself, as children. “Yeah, I’m a gryphon, take a picture, it’ll last longer.” “Not as long as you keep moving so slow, move over and let a real flier show you how to push some old pony.” Rainbow scoffed. “I am not old, you whippersnappers,” she winced when the word left her mouth and the image of Applejack laughing at her flashed into her mind. “I mean-” “Great job, Dash, you got her all riled up. It’s not enough she’s bald, but now you’re gonna give her a bad heart, too.” Rainbow gawked and looked between the two fliers pushing her toward the training field. “I’m not bald, I’ve got your hair,” she reached up and moved to flounce her mane with a forehoof and met only air. Her hoof tapped her scalp and she screamed immediately once her hoof moved to her neck and she felt nothing. Gilda flew around her and closed her mouth with her talons. “Look, it’s not so bad. You forgot your wig… there’s gotta be something we can use ‘til you get a new one.” Young Rainbow appeared behind her adult counterpart and slapped a cloud on her head. “There, she’s covered. Now hurry, she can’t miss this!” Discord slithered from the cloud mane into her vision and curled around her muzzle, closing it tightly. “Now, now, little filly. Don’t make yourself upset, or you might not like what you grow up into,” he said in her voice. The filly Rainbow scoffed and said something to Gilda adult Rainbow couldn’t hear. “What?! Dash, we can’t just… but what about… ohhhh, well… that’s a good point,” Gilda conceded and then flew off. “Well, good news, granny. You get to take the race with us, aren’t you excited?” Rainbow shook her head while Discord answered. “Why, yes, darling. I’d love nothing more than to partake in your race. It shall be resplendent.” He snickered while Rainbow glared death at him. He leaned down and stretched his lips to her ear. “Oh, that was how that other one spoke, isn’t it? Well, we can’t all be of such fine upbringing,” he winked and his lips retracted to his face with a honk. “Here we are,” the filly said as she landed and gave her adult self a final shove to the rings, “I’ll be back in a minute.” Rainbow looked at the ring and the one past it, there weren’t any more so she chose to grown and grumble at Discord. “Well, if that’s how you feel, then I guess I don’t have to be here to help you then, do i?” he uncurled from her mouth and she worked her jaw. “No, go count nose hairs or something.” He reached down and grabbed Rainbow’s nose and tugged a large human nose into the air. He was wearing a microscope in his left eye and he peeled the nose open like a banana; exposing a bouquet of multi hued hairs. “One,” he plucked one. “Two,” he plucked another and perched on her snout. “Three-” Rainbow shook her head and inverted herself, rubbing her face into the cloud layer. “Four,” he plucked one and she watched as it turned into a balloon animal. “Five,” he plucked a green one that popped open and three doves flew out from it. “Discord, I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that,” she said softly as foals gathered around her and lined up, getting an odd look from some of them. “Six-” “Go!” Rainbow blinked and saw the foals charging ahead through the first ring and she scrambled into action, hovering and galloping as though it would help her go faster. The first ring cleared and then the second, she followed the foals’ path to a new ring down and to the right, so she followed and got stuck before she could clear it. Two foals pushed her backside while Rainbow grunted and squirmed, cursing the suit as she popped through the ring. The two foals flew past her and didn’t look back as Rainbow followed them, straight up to the next ring. She frowned at the distance and how long it would take, but she soldiered on and made her way to it. The ring was large enough and when she passed through it she heard a clap of thunder that got her to snap her gaze below. “That, wasn’t there a second ago,” she gulped at the arcing lightning below her and the ring just on the other side. She didn’t want to, but she decided to go around and was forced back by a column of air that pressed against her with each attempt. “What the buck, Discord? Where’s my lightning rod if you want me to get through that?” “Who ever said I wanted you to get through it?” he answered in his full form wearing a trench coat and holding an umbrella made of rain that deflected a rain shower worth of miniature cocktail umbrellas. “Then what am I supposed to do? Just fly through it?! I’ll get burnt, getting burnt hurts.” He gasped and covered his mouth with his paw as a ball of yarn fell to his feet as though he were standing on a floor. He picked it up and bit the end, slurping it like a wet noodle. “I’m certain I don’t know what you’re talking about, burns are marks of glory that-” “Save it, I know what Sergeant Tempest said about lightning, and it applies to battle. I’m not in battle, just with you.” He bit the string and finished with a gulp, bouncing the yarn in his talon. He dropped the yarn and began to yo-yo with it while he walked around Rainbow. “Ah, but isn’t that just one of those little things that just irks you, when you have to do something that you don’t want to do, knowing you’ll get hurt? Just, cut your magic and fall,” he let the yarn go and they watched it fall into and through the lightning, catch fire, then bounce between the bolts and finally explode with little flames that rained out of their sight. She looked at him and growled. “You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna do that.” “Then you’re going to have to take the long way to the end, this time. No time skips, just wait until it stops.” “How long’ll that be?” “When you cross the finish line,” he said darkly and lightning flashed behind him and blinded her just long enough for him to vanish. “Great,” she thought about it and after more time than she’d like to have spent, shouted in frustration and stopped the magic flow into the cloud and she fell like a round rock in a lake. Wind didn’t buffet her from side to side, there was no wind as she fell, and when she reached the floor of electricity she exhaled and sucked her tongue to the back of her closed mouth. The feeling was like she always remembered it being; terrible. She instinctively fought the spasms and twitches her body made, while trying to keep where she was in relation to the ground, as well as her goal of the next ring. It was the longest three seconds of her life, that she could think of once she was past it. She plummeted past the rings, clouds, and racing foals while her mind regained control of her body. “Gotcha. Geeze, for an old geezer ya sure fly fast.” “Gilda, she was falling, not flying.” “Dash, she was pointed down, so she was flying… and fell asleep.” Rainbow coughed a puff of black smoke and trembled. “Th-thanks. Look, can you help me? I gotta,” she motioned her head to the race. “Fine, but Dash’s gonna take the first turn,” Gilda said and tossed her to her younger self. “Whatever, let’s go, granny.” Rainbow coasted along for the ride while she was led through the rings in order, finally passing the last one with two tired and panting helpers beside her. They all landed on a cloud and the kids groaned and grumbled. “Hey, thanks for the assist. I had it, but I can’t fly too fast in this thing,” she patted her pink chest. “Whatever, we won, and came back, for you.” “Yeah, like, you owe us one.” Rainbow looked between the two and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, don’t mess with a pink pony when you grow up,” she looked at Gilda pointedly. Gilda narrowed her eyes. “What’s that mean? You gonna come lookin’ for me someday? Cuz I’ll take you on, right now.” “Nah, it’s not me. I’m blue wearing pink, she’s gonna be all pink. Hey, have you seen a yellow mare with pink mane? Name’s Fluttershy?” “Oh, her?” Gilda snorted and reached into the feathers on her head, “this’ for you.” She tossed a small pink box with a darker pink bow on it to her, and Rainbow opened it as quickly as she could. She didn’t expect a pie larger than her to pop out on a spring, recoil away, and then splat on her head; raining sweet whipped cream to the ground below. Rainbow stumbled back and toppled off the cloud to the shocked shouts of the two friends who were too sticky to fly and help. Rainbow turned her fall into a dive and arced her body to leave the sweet treat and used the wind to clean her as best she could. She wished she had her wings, she’d open them and- She yelped at the sharp pain in her back, then realized her fall had turned into a sharp bank. She looked back to see bright pink wings flapping from the suit, and didn’t care at the moment. She turned away from the area and flew up to a cloud to rest on. With a final flap she landed and grinned at herself. “Oh yeah, I’m back!” She hopped into the air and cheered for herself; the sound of a dozen hooves clopping on the floor startled her and she landed on a platform somewhere on the ground. Green grass, large trees, and a variety of ponies all sitting like an audience, watching her as the applause died down. “Uh, what?” “C’mon, read us another!” a stallion shouted and was joined by a dozen cheers. Rainbow looked to her left and saw a book with a pair of glasses on it, and she shook her head. “No way, I am not-” “Not what?” The unique voice of Discord called from the crowd. She looked twice and finally saw he was disguised as a colt, dressed like a sailor, holding an obnoxiously large lollipop in his fetlock. “Not going to read with your glasses on in front of your adoring fans?” Rainbow opened her wings and flew at him, being stopped by a mare with her magic. “Hey, you have to read the next page! Don’t leave yet,” she said happily and returned Rainbow to the stage, as she realized it was. Rainbow glared at Discord, who rolled his eyes on the ground and hopped for joy when they came up as a pair of fours. She put on the glasses and weathered the laughter at having to wear her prescription glasses in public, then opened the book. She yelped in a high screech, dropping the book and looking out to the crowd who had started to fall silent in anticipation. She eventually picked the book back up and gulped. Her hooves trembled and her throat went drier with each breath she took. “The Wonderbolts aren’t cool. I’m not cool. The only cool thing, is soda on a hot day,” she clicked her tongue and glanced at the audience sitting on the grass, total attention on her. “There once was a pony named Rainbow Dash, she wore her ego like a sash, she got to big for her britches,” she pouted, “and hung out with five other bit-” “And that’s enough of that! Discord,” Fluttershy shouted from somewhere, but Rainbow couldn’t see. “What’s the meaning of all this?” she scolded the creature and Rainbow saw the colt shrinking in size with each word. “You change me back and fix all of this, right… now.” He peeked out from behind one of Rainbow’s legs into the darkness. “But, lessons have to be taught and learned.” There was a rustling and Rainbow dropped the book and the glasses fell from her muzzle as she watched a yellow tree with pink leaves shoving dirt aside as it moved toward them. “I don’t want to hear another word, mister. Fix us, right now.” Even though Rainbow couldn’t see it, she could hear the rage in her friend’s voice. “So, you gonna do what she says, or are you gonna leave her like a tree?” Discord groaned and snapped his tiny fingers and the three of them were back in the studio with the audience watching blankly. “There, spoil sport,” he said and pinched his fingers together while looking at Fluttershy. “But you only get one interference to help your friend. Do you want it to be now, when she could really use your help later?” The mares exchanged glances and Fluttershy shook her head. “Good! Now, when next you speak I will count it as an opportunity to assist your dear friend on her quest. Until then,” Fluttershy whimpered when she was picked up suddenly. “Fluttershy! I knew you’d make it. Here, have some popcorn and soda, this’ been a great ride so far! I’ve already had a turn, now you have! Only three to go, right Dashie?” Pinkie waved from several feet away while dropping Fluttershy into a beach chair. “Pinkie, you gotta help me, here! Can’t you, just, throw a cake on him and help me get away?” “Ha, you’re silly! I ate the last of my cake before you got back just now. I have some pie, if you want some.” Rainbow cringed and repressed a gag noise. “No, thank you, Pinkie. What’s next, Discord?” “Well, I find your impatience unbearable and-” Rainbow sighed. “I’m dressed like a bear, aren’t I?” Pinkie giggled from out of her view and a very large and smelly salmon landed in front of her. “Ew! Pinkie!” She looked over to see Fluttershy with her lips pursed in a silent whistle and looking around nervously and deadpanned. “Really?” Fluttershy looked back at her and shrugged nonchalantly. Rainbow looked left and couldn’t see past brown in her vision. She wiggled her ears and felt felt and tried looked around, trying to see herself and saw a dark brown bodysuit with purple wings and a rabbit’s cottony tail that wiggled in place of her own. “Really, Discord?” she looked at where he was and saw a giant pencil where he was. Looking around she saw a classroom with embellished stationary and desks small enough for a foal. “Great, egghead hunt.”