"Alright, everypony. Glad you could make it today."
Twilight scanned the group of ponies seated at the long, retangular table. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood at one end; Twilight at the other. The ponies at the table were all the leaders and top officers of the previous year's Nerf War.
"We're all mighty interested in why ya called this here meetin', Twilight." Applejack said.
"To put it simply, this is a meeting to discuss this year's Nerf War." Twilight stated. "Notification arrived this morning that the Rebels have taken up arms again, only this time they plan to take not only Ponyville, but its surrounding areas and nieghboring towns. That includes Canterlot."
"Ya'll are gonna do WHAT?!" Applejack stared at Dash, who sat across from her. "Why in Tartarus are ya gonna take Canterlot??"
"Because." Dash said. "We are gonna overthrow the current rulers and take over Equestria."
"Now that just ain't nice." Applejack said. "The Rebels didn't do that when Ah was in charge!"
"Well, you aren't in charge this year, I am." Dash said. "We agreed to that last year. My side is the Rebels, your side is the Defenders."
"Ya'll already declared war?" Applejack asked.
"Nope." Dash said. "We're here today, my officers and I, to calmly discuss your peaceful surrender of all the towns you are in control of. And to discuss the surrender of the princesses."
"Yes, about that." Celestia chuckled. "General Rainbow Dash, I am afraid we will not be surrendering. You must either capture us or kill us."
"I was hoping you'd say that." Dash rose, smirking. "Allow me to inform you, we will show no mercy when we march on the towns and your castle, Celestia. No mercy whatsoever."
"Yes, well, we shall take our chances, General Dash." Luna said, amused. "Just remember, you must successfully dethrone all three of us princesses. That includes Twilight."
"You mean egghead?" Dash snorted. "She'll be so buried in strategy books she'll never even see or hear us coming!"
"Hey!" Twilight said indignantly. "I'm standing right here! And I will definitely see you coming!! If you make it as far as Canterlot. But I doubt you will."
"Oh, we will." Dash said, glaring. "And you're the first one on my princess hit list!"
"Well, that's nice to know." Twilight said drily. "I'll be sure to add that fact to my to do list. 'Final task for today: get killed by Rainbow Dash.' You'll have to check it off for me, since I will be too dead to do so myself."
"Okay, time out, gals." Applejack butted in. "Save it for the battlefield. Pinkie Pie, we need some cupcakes for these two right now!" When there was no answer, Applejack looked around the table. "Oh horseapples. Where's Pinkie?!"
The door crashed open and in bounced Pinkie Pie, cupcake hat on her head, camouflaged uniform jacket on her body. She sproinged over to Dash and saluted.
"Commander Pinkie Pie at your service, General Dashie, Ma'am!"
"Not in this war, you aren't." Dash said. "You're in AJ's army."
For a moment, Pinkie looked crushed. Then she brightened and did a little bounce. She turned to Applejack and saluted.
"Commander Pinkie Pie and assistant Commander Cupcake at your service, General Applejack, Ma'am!"
"Commander who now?" Applejack asked.
"Cupcake!" Pinkie pointed at her hat. "He's my top assistant."
"Pinkie Pie, that there hat will get ya hit five minutes into the fight." Applejack said. "Better not wear it." Pinkie's blue eyes widened and her mouth turned into a frown.
"Aw, can't I wear it, Applejack? Please? I Pinkie promise not to let it get me hurt. Please???" She poked out her bottom lip and gave her new leader a sad look. Applejack couldn't resist.
"Alright." She agreed. "But ya be extra careful!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" And Pinkie hopped to her chair with a giggle. Dash looked at Applejack.
"Seriously??" She said. "You caved that fast?? Honestly, AJ!"
"If Pinkie wants to go into battle with a cupcake on her head, then she can." Applejack said.
"Great. But if I see that cupcake, I'm aiming at it!" Dash huffed.
"Ahem!" Twilight cleared her throat. "If we could return to the matter at hoof..."
"Right. War." Dash said. "What's left to say? The Rebels will be take over all the towns surrounding Canterlot, then we will march on Canterlot itself and take this castle. Applejack's side will try to stop us. That's that."
"Eeyup. Ah'd say that covers it." Applejack agreed.
"Alright then. Does anypony else want to say anything?" Twilight asked. A yellow hoof went up. "Fluttershy?"
"Um...I just...um...I really don't want to take over anything." Fluttershy said, with a nervous glance at Dash. "Um...I would rather defend Ponyville and um...Canterlot. Can I switch to Applejack's side?"
"What??!" Dash cried.
"Sure ya can, sugarcube!" Applejack said. Dash crossed her hooves and glared in bitter disappointment at Fluttershy.
"I can't believe you want to betray me like this, Captain Fluttershy. I am very not ok with it."
"Oh...I'm sorry...um, but I want to defend Ponyville, not attack it." Fluttershy said, flinching as Dash's glare intensified.
"Well, fine. Go ahead. But Fluttershy..." Dash leaned in, scowling. "I will not forget your treachery. And if you and I meet at any point during this war, I will end you. And I won't show mercy." She narrowed her eyes dangerously, leaning a little nearer. "You got that, Fluttershy???"
"Eep!!" Fluttershy whimpered, cowering back from her ex-general.
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded from close by, scowling. "That's no way to treat dear Fluttershy! She is your friend!"
"Not anymore, she isn't." Dash said. "From now til the end of the war, she is my mortal enemy!" Fluttershy eeped again, realising just what predicament she'd gotten herself into. Dash was serious; she was going to end her. And probably slowly. She shuddered.
"Come to think of it," spoke up Starlight suddenly. "I'd like to defend Ponyville and Canterlot, too. Again."
"How dare you desert my army!" Dash said bitterly. "How can I manage with no magic expert?!"
"Oh, I've got you covered." Starlight smirked. "She wasn't around for the last battle, but, um, there is a Great and Powerful wanting to assist you, Dash." All eyes widened.
"Oh no." Dash said. "Please tell me it isn't Tr-"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived!" The yell was accompanied by a flash of smoke, which cleared to reveal the blue unicorn, smirking. "Trixie will be a Rebel Magic Expert!"
"Oh, wonderful!" Dash said drily. "I lose my first magic expert and wind up saddled with a crazy wannabe magician who probably can't even tie a knot in a rope with her magic!" Trixie smiled an evil smile. Her horn glowed, and a split second later Dash looked down to find herself tied to her chair with a securely knotted rope.
"You were saying?" Trixie said smugly. Dash strained and struggled to no avail. Finally she went limp and sighed.
"Fine. You're pretty good at magic. You're my new expert." She said. Her voice sharpened. "Now let me go!" Trixie obliged and Dash stood. Her eyes went to Twilight.
"As of now, we declare war on you. Prepare to be defeated."
"If you say so." Twilight said, with a nod. Dash huffed and motioned.
"Rebels! Lets move out!" As they headed out the door, she threw back a last threat. "We are going to destroy you!!"
"Good luck!" Applejack scoffed.
Dash growled and led her officers on the long march to headquarters.
The War would soon begin.