Twilight had never really been one for relaxation during the day, not when there were rigorous hours of studying and work ahead of her. She scowled at the sunlight that crept through her library windows, never able to find a seat that wouldn't eventually become basked in the irritating glow of day.
Twilight loved Celestia for many reasons, but that insufferable glare definitely wasn't one of them.
So it was that she played a game of musical chairs all on her own, moving from one side of the table to another over the course of a few hours as she poured through various tomes, reading, sorting, writing notes, grinning at each new discovery...
Only the sun seemed to be following her a bit too closely today. She'd ignored it at first—well, tried to—but it was becoming more apparent with each shift of her head that she simply couldn't escape that little sliver of blinding light like she should've been able to. She got up. She moved across the room. She placed a book right in front of her face if only as a last resort, not liking how smudged together the words looked right next to her muzzle, but even still, the light persisted.
She'd finally had enough. She set the book down with a groan, peering up at the window to see just what had been causing her such distress over the last thirty minutes.
Something rather peculiar looked back at her. Ever seen a draconequus holding a hand mirror clinging to your window, threading light through? It stunned Twilight to silence for a moment, and she might've admired Discord's determination, his perseverance in pranking, his innovation with the bouncing of the light.
She might've if she wasn't absolutely livid, and if she hadn't just found her breath. "Discord!" she yelled, picking up a book in her magic and unceremoniously hurling it at him. It was a hardback, it could take it. He couldn't. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
And then something happened that perplexed Twilight. She was basically over the window hanging by now, that was pretty normal by Discord's standards. No, what confused her was the fact that he didn't turn the book sailing at him into a dove. He didn't teleport out of the way. He didn't split his own body in half to avoid it.
No, that book hit him square in the chest, causing him to keel over at once, dropping the hand mirror.
Twilight felt kind of guilty afterwards, especially when he started coughing from the blow, shakily rising to his feet. She'd made a habit of throwing things at him because not once had anything ever hit him, but this was probably just a trick. It was Discord, after all, how could a book have seriously hurt him?
That said, it was a pretty big book... propelled by an alicorn's spell... Force equals mass times accelerati—oh god did he just spit blood on the floor?
Twilight rushed over to check on Discord against her better judgment, half-expecting him to turn the pair of them upside down or inside out or... that was about it. Twilight didn't have a very active imagination.
Discord finally stood up right as Twilight reached him, patting himself down and sputtering out a last couple of coughs. "My, Twilight, looks like we're both excellent at greeting one another. Sorry about all that up there," he pointed to the window behind him, which had claw marks on the accompanying wall from where he'd been perched. "I just couldn't think of how to approach you. It seemed the best way to go about it at the time."
"Couldn't you have just said 'hello'?" Twilight said with grit teeth, though she knew the venom in her tone was offset by that small measure of concern. Feeling concern for Discord, what an odd experience. She could bet he was reveling in it right now.
Though saying that, he didn't appear to be particularly bothered either way. Moreover, it seemed as if something was actually playing on his mind, if the way his eyes shifted and the pause on his lips before speaking were any indication. "I'm... not good at going to others for help. I once asked Fluttershy to help me pick out an outfit, it took six weeks, four dimension hops of thought, and a long conversation with Celestia before I finally decided I'd ask her by painting my question on a herd of elephants and taking her to Zebrica. Of course, when we got there, none of the elephants were standing in their correct positions, their choreography was off, and frankly, they had awful bowel control."
Twilight had started off listening, but quickly drifted into a state of utter confusion. "So... what I'm getting from this is that you need something? And you thought the best way to get my attention would be to glare light in my eyes for twenty minutes?"
"I mean, it worked, didn't it?" Discord defended, grin on his lips. Twilight raised the book again without second thought, and instantly Discord flinched back, waving his hands. "Wh-what I mean to say is, it's rather difficult for me to do things in an orthodox way, as I'm sure you're aware. Heck, even talking to you so plainly right now feels like a form of sacrilege. So, what comes next will be even harder, and I'd appreciate it if you'd make it as easy for me as possible."
The smile that was about Discord for a moment was gone. He looked very sincere, and of course, Twilight had dropped the book. Discord wanting anything at all spelled trouble, Twilight knew that, but there was some curiosity to her that she couldn't help but satisfy. What did someone like Discord need that he was having such trouble asking about? Probably something ludicrous, of course, but it was still more than worth finding out. "Okay," Twilight nodded, backing up a little. "What is it that you're looking for? I'll listen."
"Right. Well..." Discord began pacing back and forth, rubbing his hands together. His posture was almost completely straight, his hands fidgety and tail swaying in a repetitive motion. "How do I put this..." he bit on his lip, then licked around them, then bit his tongue and yelped a little. "You know how it's a bad thing to leave the stove on, Twilight?"
"What am I, six? Everyone knows that, Discord." Twilight rolled her eyes. She knew this was going to be something ridiculous.
"Well, apparently I didn't," Discord replied flatly, his eyes locking with hers.
Twilight was all of a sudden a little more concerned, eyes wide. "Whose house did you blow up, Discord?"
"Not house, dimension, and the answer is my own."
"Wh-wha... how? How in the world would you even manage to do that?" Twilight shook her head rapidly, turning away. "No, this is just another one of your silly jokes. I don't believe it."
"Twilight, am I honestly the type of draconequus to make jokes about something like this?"
"Yes!" Twilight answered, splaying out her wings. "You're exactly the type to, and you know it!"
"Then if that's the case, you should be able to tell when I'm being serious," Discord countered, his hands against his sides. "And I am deadly serious right now, so much so that it's actually beginning to ache a little."
That... made an odd amount of sense. Still, even if that was the case, the notion that Discord could have destroyed his own dimension... it was ridiculous, inconceivable! "So, if that's the case, what can you do to fix it? Also, how in the hell did it happen?"
"I literally left the stove on."
"That's ridiculous." Twilight set about tidying away her books, using her magic to place them in shelves and making notes of which she'd need again later. Clearly, this silliness needed to take precedence.
"Consider that while your stove operates in Fahrenheit, Twilight, mine does so in megatons. One click of my fingers and the place was gone without a trace. I'm not sure how to bring it back, as this has truly never happened before. Honestly, I'm... frazzled." He frowned, as if it was a word that he hadn't said in a long time. "This is all quite new to me, and I'm not entirely sure where to go from here."
"And let me guess," Twilight said with a slight smirk, the gears in her head already turning. "You came to me because you thought that with my magical knowledge, I'd be the one who would be able to help you bring your home back?"
"No," Discord replied, dashing her confidence entirely. "No, I came to you because—and forgive me if I've taken a little while to get to the point but this is difficult—I need you to..."
Twilight leaned in closer, eyelids fluttering as she blinked through her wonder. "Yes? What is it?"
"I need you to... be open to the idea of cohabitation while I'm without a home." Discord hid behind his hands for a moment, as if he was worried about Twilight throwing another book.
But she was too dumbfounded to manage even that. "L-living together?" Discord nodded. This did nothing to assuage her bafflement. "Why?! Why not Fluttershy? Why out of all of the ponies in Equestria would you choose me to want to live with?" Twilight couldn't believe it, this had to be some kind of joke, there was no way that he honestly, seriously thought this was a good idea, was there?
"Well, naturally, Fluttershy was my first choice," Discord intoned, tapping a talon against his chin. "But I'm worried that spending every day around her would finally drive her to snap and attempt to kill me... and I'm rather powerless to do anything about that right now."
"And what makes you think I wouldn't do the same?!" Twilight huffed as she walked over to her chair, sitting down and taking a deep breath. "It's hardly as if you've tried to ingratiate yourself to me, now, is it? You've just waltzed in here and expected me to give you somewhere to crash!"
Discord sighed, taking a seat on the floor beside her, though with his height, he still sat just as tall as she did. "You're right, Twilight, I may have been a little presumptuous, but I don't know where else to go! I'm alone, confused, without my strength—and we're friends, aren't we?"
He was pushing the right buttons. Discord must've known that Twilight would never actually call Discord anything other than a friend, because at this point it'd be a lie, but the idea of living with him?! "Well, what if I say no, and that you'll have to just take your chances with Fluttershy?"
"In which case, despite the fact I didn't want to, I'll have to invoke this..." Discord turned to face Twilight, and began to read in an overly official tone. "My Equestrian loyalty card currently has five stamps. It says in the small print that I get the sixth after destroying a threat to Equestria that is equal to or greater than myself. By stripping myself of my powers, I think you'll find that I just did. With six stamps, that entitles me to either a free coffee, a royal pardon, or a room with my favourite purple know it all for the next six to twelve weeks. I think I'll choose... all three."
Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Discord, that's a blank piece of paper."
"Actually, you're only half right. It's blank on one side, but the other side is the foreword to one of those books you had on your table earlier."
"Discord!" Twilight snatched it up from him and set about trying to find the book it was meant to be in. A quick magical fix later, it was back to normal, and Twilight let loose a breath of relief.
"I know, I know, I'm not making a wondrous first impression, but that will improve! I swear on my honour as the Lord of Chaos."
"I didn't realise you had honour," Twilight remarked in spite, neurosis leading her to check all of the other books she'd had out earlier for signs of damage, levitating them down and flicking through them one by one.
"And I didn't realise that there was anything more adorable than watching you in your natural habitat. Tell me, is book throwing a native greeting in the land of book, book, book?" Discord seemed more than happy to test her despite his predicament, it almost made Twilight wonder just how much of a chance he thought there was of her saying no to him.
"No, but we can make it a special one just for you if you'd like," Twilight retorted, a grin on her lips despite herself. Even when Discord was being utterly facetious, he could still manage to drag a laugh from a pony. That was something he did well, at least, even when Twilight did want to murder him.
"Anyways, if you and your little bowlcut wouldn't mind going and clearing out your bedroom, I can begin making myself at home. I take my eggs with the shells, I have to bathe fourteen times a day or else I'll become too clean, exposing me to your furniture for too long may cause it to grow limbs, and we'll definitely need separate toilets because—oh, you know what? I'll just write you a list. You like lists, don't you, Twilight?" He peered at her out of the corner of one eye, waiting for her to break.
All of the insults and assumptions he was making, and Twilight still couldn't help but answer him like a reluctant, petulant foal. "Yeah I like lists," she mumbled, pouting, but deep down inside, she knew that reading a guide on caring for a draconequus sounded way too interesting to pass up. Stupid interesting Discord. "But that doesn't mean I'm letting you stay here!"
"That's fine, Twilight, dear, I imagined there'd be some resistance at first. After all, I'm probably the first male other than Spike or an ancient Pillar of Harmony to step into this castle since it was founded, I imagine it's all very confusing for you." Discord put on caring airs as he spoke, and they almost made Twilight slump her withers and relax, but all too soon she caught the implication behind his softly spoken words.
Twilight soon turned a very distinct shade of pink."Hey, what's that meant to mean?! I've had stallions in here before, sure I have!"
"Oh, really? How scandalous. Such as whom, if I might be so bold?" Discord diverted his full attention to Twilight, which was to say that he actually had two eyes resting on her now.
"No, you can't ask!" Twilight said, looking away from him and flicking her mane. "I mean, yes, I had a stallion in here and... Uhh, it was the mailpony! He had to come in and grab a pencil to sign for a delivery because his had snapped and—" she was cut off by the sound of Discord's chuckles, which only made her wish for the floor to swallow her. "Hey, that counts!"
"I'm sure it does, Twilight. Anyways, I don't wish to keep you, so I'm going to go and find my way around the place. Feel free to brew me a drink while you wait. I take two teaspoons of coffee in my sugar. No cream."
Twilight simply watched, bemused beyond belief, as Discord did something that to her looked incredibly odd. He walked. Not on two legs like she'd seen him do a handful of times in the past, but on all fours, like a pony. As Twilight racked her brain, it became more apparent to her that he hadn't used a touch of his trademark magic since coming in to see her, at least to her knowledge.
If he wasn't telling the truth, he was doing a really good job of putting it on. But that still didn't mean that any of this was okay, or that she wasn't about to boot him out of the door! But then, could she really do that to a friend in need, if that's what he really was right then? A strong part of her said 'no', and she was beginning to realise that fact more and more with each passing second as she sat there, loosely entertaining the idea of seeing Discord every single day.
Twilight was distracted by her thoughts by a yelp and the sound of something crashing through wood, and she took wing instantly to find out what kind of trouble Discord had already managed to get himself into.
This was without a doubt going to be a very long day.