To Bring About Chaos
Don’t Get Too Big For The Britches, They Might Fight Back
I cannot believe Dash at times. It goes without saying of course, but seriously, there are days. Why do I say this? Well, since I had grown up alongside Dash, I know how much of an ego she can get. Luckily, Shy’s usually there to bring her back down, if only out of guilt. But today, it seems like it wasn’t stopping. Though I suppose it wasn’t that bad of a start. After all, she was at least doing good at first.
It all started when, after a usual bout of misfortune when waking up, I went off to school to do my job. Before I had even gotten there though, I saw a small crowd forming, with all of my friends and marefriend within. As I got closer, I noticed Dash bursting out of the well with a filly in tow, and to be fair, that was a kind and noble thing to do. No, it was when the crowd started cheering and praising her that I began to worry. Oh sure, for now, she was being modest, but I knew her well enough that it would spiral out of control.
“Heya Med!” Dash called out, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Hello there Dash.” I nodded and gave a small smile. “I take it that this was not something you were expecting during one of your… siestas?”
“Hey!” Dash pouted but noticeably didn’t try to comment back on the siesta remark. “Yeah, it was kinda weird. Who let their filly get close enough to a boarded-up well to fall into it?”
I sighed a little, shrugging. “Who knows, honestly. All I know is that I’m glad you were there to get her out. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to make it to my classroom before the bell rings.”
Dash started to nod but then frowned a bit. “Wait… but doesn’t school start in, like, half an hour? Why do you get there so early?”
“Because I have to actually prepare everything in the classroom. And since I’m not a unicorn, it has to be done by hoof.” I patiently explained.
“But that’s another thing. You always get up about now, walk the exact same route, and give the same greeting every day.” Dash commented.
I rolled my eyes a little at that. “Honestly Dash, I’m not turning into a robot or whatever your imagination is cooking up. It’s just that some things seem repetitive, and besides, a routine is never a bad thing to have.”
Dash just shrugged before taking off quickly, leaving me to quickly get back to the school and set up for the day. Once the class settled in, I could see a few of my students wearing what looked like… Rainbow Dash merchandise? OK, now was the time where I was dreading the next talk with her. Especially since I heard a couple of commotions going on outside the school, one of which involved a foal, and the other elderly ponies. By the time class was dismissed for the day, I quickly hurried off to find my friends.
It seems like Sugarcube Corner was busier than usual today, judging from the large crowd gathered inside. It was only once joining up with everypony did I realize why that was the case.
“Has this been going on the entire day?” I groaned.
“Fraid so, Med.” AJ sighed as Dash looked like she was recounting her tale in all of it’s “awesome retelling glory”.
“And then I zoomed into the well. I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn't let that stop me. Danger's my middle name. Rainbow 'Danger' Dash. Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.” Dash bragged.
“That… day.” Spike repeated, scribbling down everything.
“Awesomely heroic that day and awesomely arrogant ever since.” Applejack muttered as Pinkie, Sparkella, and I all agreed.
“Hey Applejack. How'd you like to be immortalized as my friend?” Dash pulled AJ aside with a smug grin.
“Immorta- what?” AJ looked confused before the flashing of cameras stopped her from continuing on.
It was at that point I spoke up again, noticing Spike actually writing down word for word what Dash said. “Wait… are you taking notes, Spike?”
“Yup! I've been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself, to write her autobiography!” Spike proudly responded.
“But autobiographies are supposed to be written by the pony they are about. If they weren’t, they’d be biographies.” Sparkella pointed out.
“Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.” Dash arrogantly explained.
“Spike’s a ghost!” Pinkie yelped before dashing off.
“Anyways…” Dash trailed off, getting back on track from Pinkie’s… Pinkie thing. “Spike here writes down everything I say. Don't you, Spike?”
“Don't... you... Spike. Got it!” Spike smiled happily.
“This way, I can stay focused on performing those acts of bravery that nopony else has the guts to perform. Yep, it takes guts. But it also takes brains. And sometimes a big lunch and a nap. Being a hero is surely not for everypony, but I'm up to the challenge.” Dash proclaimed as we all looked highly skeptical.
After Dash went outside with her entourage, the rest of us gathered together to discuss the situation.
“Can you believe that kind of nonsense she’s been spouting all day? I simply can’t imagine how big her ego is right about now.” Rarity started off with a small growl.
“Believe me, Shy and I would know. After all, we grew up with her.” I deadpanned before sighing a bit. “I just didn’t realize how bad it could get though.”
“Wait, are you sayin’ this kinda thin’s been happenin’ with her?” AJ looked at the two of us questioningly.
Shy gave a meek nod before quietly explaining. “I usually manage to talk her down before she got worse, but she’s not even listening to me right now.”
“Well then, we just hafta knock some sense back inta her with a stern talkin’ to!” AJ declared.
I face-hoofed at that declaration. “AJ, if she’s not listening to Shy of all ponies, she’s not going to listen to any of us.”
“Well, maybe there’s a chance we can get her head out of the clouds! Metaphorically, I mean.” Sparkella interjected.
I shook my head at that. “I’m sorry Twi. She’s not gonna listen right now, so I say we come up with something that’ll make her be more humbled.”
“Why would you even say that?!” Sparkella glared at me. “I thought we were her friends, not teachers!”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “First off. I am a teacher. Secondly, some ponies don’t learn through words, no matter how stern they might be. Dash is one of those ponies that needs to be brought down a peg. I’m not saying we, her friends, drag her back down. She’d learn nothing and she’d hate us. What I’m saying is that right now, her ego is built off of being a hero, and with all the fame that goes with it.”
“Ooooh! Are we doing a superhero thing??” Pinkie appeared from out behind a nearby cabinet, scaring us very well as she exclaimed, “I gotta tell my friends about this!”
We blinked as she quickly dashed up to her room, wondering who and what she meant by that. It was quickly forgotten though as Sparkella pinned me with a heated glare again. I sighed a little, knowing that she wasn’t gonna like it no matter what.
“Well… Pinkie’s right. In a strange way. Why don’t we have a new super-heroine on the scene? Show Dash what it means to be an actual hero. One that does it for the right thing, not the popular thing.”
“I still say we should talk to her first.” Sparkella held fast, looking distinctly unhappy.
I shrugged a little. “You’re free to try and talk some sense into her. Just know that it won’t end well.”
“We’ll see about that!” Sparkella proclaimed before marching outside to where Dash was.
Everypony gave me a strange look before Rarity spoke first. “Darling…? Are there any problems between you and Twilight?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, being pretty confused.
“Well… um… it looked like you two were arguing a lot more than before… and it was a bit more… um… heated.” Shy explained.
I blinked owlishly before finally catching on. “No no no no no! There aren’t any problems between us!”
AJ raised an eyebrow. “Uhhhhhhh-huuuuuh. Riiiiiiiiiight…”
I gave a grin for a good while before eventually sighing. “OK, maybe a small problem. It’s just that we both have way different ways of approaching a problem.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity prompted.
“It’s just that… she goes for the analytical solution, the one that results in long talks between ponies. I, on the other hoof, tend to go at the heart of the matter, trying to find a dynamic response that results in a great shift. Yeah, we agree on lots of things, but this is just the one thing we haven’t agreed on. Not everything can come from a book, but I know that sometimes, knowledge is important to help others. But she wants to remain solely by the book, or by instructions sent. You know how she reacted when she thought she missed a deadline.” I laid out.
Everyone listened patiently as I laid everything out in front of them. After all, was said and done, Fluttershy was the first to speak out, surprising us a little.
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing though. I-I mean… um… Maybe it’s good that you have… differing… views?” Shy eked out.
“I gotta agree with her on this wild hayride. Might as well tell ‘er what’s been botherin’ ya and be honest about it.” AJ added on.
I rolled my eyes a little. “Yes, because that’s a good idea to do just when I said sometimes talking isn’t the best answer.”
AJ growled a little. “Med, either stop tryin’ to make it worse or actually listen, ya hear?”
“Hear what, Applejack?” I froze a bit as I heard Sparkella’s very pissed off voice.
“That Med’s thinkin’ you two are havin’ problems communicatin’.” AJ bluntly put it, despite my best silent warnings to lay it off already.
“Oh really now? And who’s fault is that, Medley?” Yep, she was very pissed off.
I quickly turned around to glare at her. “You don’t exactly make it easy you know.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe I should give you a guide on how to talk. You know, since I’m so by the book.”
“At least I know how to actually think outside the box!”
“Rules are there for a reason, Medley!”
“When the rules are that stupid, why should I-” I suddenly stopped, frowning for a moment before shaking my head. I just figured this was a stupid thing to argue about since she was completely right. “Sorry… you’re right, Sparkella. I don’t know why I’m even fighting on this.”
For a moment, she looked like she was filled with pride, most likely from winning the debate so easily. It only lasted a little bit before she gave me a mysterious look that I couldn’t identify. I thought she’d be happy being proven correct since rules are there for a reason, and that it’s best to make sure you listen to those in authority, no matter what. And I know it sounds like I should be bitter… yet strangely, I wasn’t.
“Well… I’m glad we had this sorted out.” She then sighed a little. “I went out to try and talk with Rainbow Dash, but she brushed me aside as though I wasn’t even there.”
The rest of us all gave a small nod before giving each other a knowing look, with Fluttershy asking, “So… um… what do we do… now…?”
“Well… Pinkie had that remarkable idea about a superheroine showing Rainbow Dash what she’s supposed to do… but I’m not sure who amongst us would be the best fit for the role.” Rarity pointed out.
“Hehe, that’s super-duper easy!” Pinkie exclaimed from behind the counter, giving us all a small fright. “Why don’t we all become one!”
“As in… different multiple heroes or…?” Sparkella questioned cautiously.
“Nnnnnope! We all be one hero, and just have the same costume! That way she can’t tell who’s who!”
“Only one problem… well, technically two. The major one I’m finding is that we’re all definitely different shapes, not to mention some have horns or wings. Secondly… I’m a male. I know, nitpicky, but… still, I don’t quite have the feminine look.” I quibbled with Pinkie.
“Leave that, to me!” Rarity gave a small grin. “After all, I can quite easily create a costume that can hide features away! It may be a bit of a fit, but I can most assuredly hide any wings on the body, and with a snazzy hat, I can hide whether or not this superheroine has a horn! And with all my modifications, they won’t even be able to tell if they are a mare or stallion!”
I blinked a little bit at the very enthusiastic response. At first, I was a little surprised, but then it kinda hit me that this meant Rarity would have a new project, test it out on a lot more ponies than before, and be able to truly shine. I then gave a small chuckle.
“I could make a theme song once we get a name too.” I contributed.
“Best. Idea. Ever!” Pinkie cheered. “Oh, man is he going to love today’s episode! Wait, no, this is the wrong format! Chapter!”
“I...” Sparkella started up before shaking her head. “...never mind. I actually don’t want to know for now.”
“Best to keep that when it comes to Pinkie.” I joked, making her roll her eyes as I chuckled again.
Now with a plan in motion, we set off to work. Or rather, Rarity and I set off to work while Sparkella tried a second attempt at talking down Rainbow Dash from her lofty heights. Sadly, nothing seemed to work, and I was starting to get irritated as well with Dash. I knew she had an ego problem, but this was blowing it way out of proportions! I was quite ready to serve some karmic justice when Rarity unveiled the basic design of the super costume. It looked like it was going for a darker motif, with a purple outfit that jutted out behind like a cape, along with a purple hat with the base bandaged in a very dark purple and the top part in a similar color, also jutting out to form the top part of the cape. The hooves as well were bandaged in this dark fabric, and on the cape’s clasp was an ‘M’ symbol. The eyes were covered with built-in goggles and overall… all I could think of was ‘lighter colored pony Batman’. I know, silly and kinda dumb, but we were talking about superheroes, and he was one of my favorites, OK?
“Well? What do you think, everypony?” Rarity questioned.
What she got were various positive responses, which got her to grin as she unveiled 6 other versions of the costume, all slightly different to account for the various heights and shapes of the ponies.
“I had to do a bit of work with yours, Med, but this should make sure that you don’t look too off from the rest of us.” Rarity explained as she handed out the costumes to everypony.
“Hey, I don’t mind. I was all but prepared to sit on the sidelines for this one.” I responded jokingly.
Sure enough, we made our moves and steadily got Rainbow Dash more and more furious with each successful attempt. I helped with saving some ponies from a hot air balloon, Applejack managed to save a cart full of ponies from flying off a cliff, Pinkie helped in saving almost everypony from a collapsing construction site (sans one that Rainbow Dash managed to get), and finally, Sparkella and Fluttershy both teamed up in helping save Rainbow Dash from a broken dam, and fixing it up. Soon, we were all hanging out at Sucarcube Corner, discussing this heroine.
“Gotta hand it to the gal, that Mare Do Well sure can pull off some pretty heroic feats.” Applejack commented.
“I must say, I was impressed by that spell she used to fix the dam,” Sparkella continued in the same vein. “Seems like something like that would take quite a bit of study.”
Rainbow Dash growled under her breath before Fluttershy spoke. “She really cares about everypony's safety.”
“Have you seen her costume? It is to die for! If you ask me she's a hero of fashion.” Rarity bragged.
“And she's modest and humble.” Applejack added on. “She lets her actions speak for themselves.”
“Well, ya gotta admire that. Wonder what kinda theme song she was going with?” I chuckled.
That seemed to be the tipping point for Rainbow Dash, as she abruptly flew up. “I don't have to admire that! I don't think she's all that great!”
“She's... great.” Spike murmured as he wrote it down.
“I didn't say that.” Rainbow Dash bit out.
“Sounds like somepony's jealous.” Sparkella pointed out.
“Who, me?” Rainbow Dash looked pretty annoyed as she said that.
It didn’t help as Spike continued to write down the ‘wrong information’ for us. “Rainbow Dash is jealous.”
“Don't write that, Spike!” Rainbow Dash commanded angrily.
We all had a laugh at that desperate attempt, especially since Spike further ignored her by stating, “Correction: Rainbow Dash is very jealous.”
“Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good– no, that I'm a better hero than Mare Do Well!” Rainbow Dashed vowed before bursting out the door.
We all shook our heads at that as I gave Sparkella a meaningful look and spoke in a very dry voice. “Yes. The power of words can surely soothe the jealous beast.”
“Medi…” Sparkella sighed. “Fine… I guess you were right in the end… No need to rub it in now.”
I winced a little, now thinking over what I said and how arrogant that really sounded. “I’m really sorry, Sparkella… It’s just… you know I grew up alongside her. You really should have listened when I said that this kind of thing really doesn’t get through to her. She sees it as a challenge to break, not as a lesson to be learned.”
Fluttershy nodded as she sighed slightly. “She normally really isn’t this bad though… I really don’t know why she’d be this… um…”
“Arrogant? Air-headed? Narcissistic?” Applejack called out.
I made a small, angry huff. “That second one was really uncalled for, Applejack.”
“What? Just bein’ honest. She’s been acting like she was given a free pass to act like a jerk.” Applejack bluntly stated.
“Um… everypony?” Pinkie called out, trying to defuse the situation.
It seemed no one was listening, as now Sparkella was taking “my side” in this out-of-nowhere argument. “You know that second one’s really offensive to pegasi, right? It’s like calling you a-”
“EVERYONE!” Pinkie shouted, derailing the argument as everyone looked at her before she spoke. “Sorry for interrupting the super-duper heated fight, but I just got a letter from Mayor Mare! She wants to hold a parade for ‘The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well’!”
It took us all a collective moment before we realized that we all had to go since we were all playing the role of ‘The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well.’
“Huh… looks like our fame came back to haunt us. Ah well, nothing to it.” I shrugged a little. “If the mayor wants to hold a parade, it’d be pretty bad of us to not go.”
“While I do love time in the spotlight… the better question is, how are we going to get everypony there, and keep the ruse up?” Rarity questioned.
“I’ll go up first. Everyone else, be ready in the alleyways. I get the feeling Rainbow Dash’s going to try and do something during the speech.” Sparkella offered.
We saw nothing wrong with that plan, and so it was that not a few hours later, Mayor Mare was giving her speech, Sparkella already up on stage.
“Welcome to Ponyville's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the mysterious Mare Do Well!” Mayor Mare cheered, along with the crowd.
Sure enough, this goaded Rainbow Dash into crashing during the speech. “The Mysterious Mare Do Well, huh? So what are you hiding? Let's see how mysterious you are without that mask!”
And after a failed attempt of removing the mask, it devolved into a pretty funny chase scene, with all 6 of us flitting in and out to make Rainbow Dash more and more confused. However, even after leading her throughout town, someone had to give eventually. Sadly, that pony was me, as Rainbow Dash snuck up on me while I was walking through to make sure if she was coming down that way or not.
Rainbow Dash growled as she pinned me on the ground. “I got you now! Alright, Miss Mysterious! Mystery... solved!”
I gave her a weak smile and a nervous chuckle. “Indeed…?”
“M-M-M-M-Medley?! Whudda- hud-d-duh- hud-d-duh- huh?!” Rainbow Dash gesticulated at the reveal before Twilight and Applejack followed suit. “Twilight?! Applejack?! There were three of you?!”
“Actually… all 6 of us were. We just played Mare Do Well at different times.” Sparkella corrected Rainbow Dash as she got her off of me.
“I stopped the carriage bus with these babies, Bucky McGillicuddy, and Kicks McGee.” Applejack clarified.
“I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense!” Pinkie chimed in, demonstrating it rather suddenly as someone accidentally dropped a pot where Pinkie was standing before.
“And I used my magic to fix the dam,” Sparkella explained, using her magic as an example.
“Ooh, ooh! And I did the flyby afterward.” Fluttershy quickly added.
“I made the costumes. Fabulous if I do say so myself!” Rarity bragged.
“And of course, I was the very first one, saving those ponies from the hot air balloon.” I finished, giving a small chuckle.
“I don't understand. Why? Don't you want me to be a hero?” Rainbow Dash looked confused, and a little betrayed.
“Of course we want you to be a hero,” Sparkella assured Rainbow Dash.
“But a real hero doesn't brag.” Applejack continued in the same vein.
“Uh, I guess I did start to brag a little…” Rainbow Dash sheepishly rubbed the back of her head.
“A little?!” We all sounded a bit incredulous that Rainbow Dash just tried to downplay her bragging.
“Okay, a lot.” Rainbow Dash amended her previous point well enough.
“Celebrating your accomplishments is natural. But…” I spoke up now, giving her a chastising look.
“...Rubbing them in everypony's face is not.” Fluttershy finished for me, looking at Rainbow Dash critically.
“Yeah, the only thing that should be rubbed in anypony's face is chocolate cake.” Pinkie drooled as we all shook our heads and smiled at Pinkie’s… Pinkie-ing.
“I think we're gettin’ off topic here.” Applejack redirected the conversation.
“What we're trying to say is, it's great to be really good at something, but it's important to act with grace and humility.” Sparkella prompted Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash, for her part, seemed to get it right away. “Ohhhh. That makes loads more sense. Yeah. You're right. And I guess I should've also acted with grace and humility when others outshine me. Like Mare Do Well.”
“Sounds like you've got a letter to write to Princess Celestia.” Sparkella prompted.
Spike grinned as he held up his notebook. “Already got it covered. As your ghostwriter, I've already penned a letter to the Princess.”
“That's nice of you, Spike, but I really wanna write this letter myself.” Rainbow Dash chagrined.
“Aww, come on, I wrote the whole thing already! Spike whined.
I chuckled a little as well. “Then let Rainbow Dash look it over before she sends it off.”
Spike acquiesced and handed over the notebook with only a small amount of grumbling and laugher amongst the group. Afterward, things settled down, and the celebration for Mare-Do-Well was ended rather quickly for a Ponyville celebration. Soon it was just the 8 of us hanging out and having a good time.
“So darling, I was just wondering something.” Rarity started talking to Pinkie. “When will Mr. and Mrs. Cake be expecting?”
“Ooooooooh! I can’t wait for it!” Pinkie giggled with glee. “They’re going to be here any week now!”
“While a wonderful answer… it’s not exactly clear on when.” I pointed out.
“Oh! Yeah, I think they said sometime in about 2 weeks. I dunno what day specifically, but I already have baby cakes picked out!” Pinkie grinned.
The rest of us gave small bits of laughter at her antics until it was about time for us to split up for the night. Before getting home though, Sparkella stopped me with a look of concern on her face. I was getting worried that it was something I had said or done today, then remembered what had happened, and really started to panic internally.
“Medi…” Sparkella spoke quietly. “What’s happened to you?”
Out of any of the questions I could’ve gotten, I had to admit, this one was a new one to me. “I… what?”
“I mean… at first, you were dead set on trying to do this superheroine plan, citing past reasons. But then right after I come back, you apologize and say that I was right to do what I did. I… I don’t know how you can change minds so quickly like that.”
I looked even more confused than before. “But… It was wrong for me to yell at you. You were right, we weren’t exactly telling everything when it came to Rainbow Dash. And-”
“And that brings me to my second point.” Sparkella interrupted me. “You aren't using nicknames for anyone but me and Pinkie.”
I shrugged a little at that. “Must be rubbing off on me. Wait, crap, no, not like that, I meant- You know-!”
Sparkella giggled a little at my flustered expression, looking a lot more relieved. “I hope that’s the case… Please sleep well tonight, alright Medi?”
“Of course, Sparkella.” I smiled as I nuzzled her lightly. “No worries, Luna wouldn’t let me get bad dreams even if I wanted them.”
With a roll of her eyes and a small nod, we both departed for the night. And that seems to be really anything of interest that happened. So, with that, I bid myself a good night.
End of Chapter 6