The light went out.
“Twilight!”
Spike’s voice. Somewhere nearby. Maybe he was calling her to ask about how her writing was going? Too late for that now.
Then again, what wasn’t it too late for? The world was black, null, void. There wasn’t anything left in it at all. Whatever she had been expecting, she had been expecting something more tangible than oblivion.
“Twilight!”
He was looking for her. Maybe he couldn’t find her in the middle of this hallway? Maybe the scenery hadn’t been in her head? She sort of assumed that once things started getting surreal, it stopped existing in conventional time and space. Or had it been when the staircase became impossibly long? Either way, now she’d have to deal with whatever that was on top of everything else, too. Or maybe everypony at the school would help pitch in—
Something touched her shoulder. “Twilight?”
And Twilight woke up.
With a gasp and a shudder, Twilight reflexively opened her eyes.
Dull yellow. Everything was a wrinkled dull yellow, as if somepony had sucked the vigor out of a honeypot and left only a crumpled husk of the word in its...wait, no. Those were probably curtains. The curtains in her old bedroom?
Something was still touching her shoulder. Twilight turned her head, and her mind went blank.
Spike was there, standing on her bed, looking down at her as if he was too worried to properly shake her shoulder.
“Spike?” Twilight mumbled.
The baby dragon broke out into a broad smile. “Oh, thank goodness! I thought you were sick with the pony flu. You’re normally really good about getting up in the mornings.”
“I...yeah.” Don’t ask if it’s actually the morning, Twilight thought. Don’t ask what time of day it is. Play it cool. “Yes! Because I normally get up early in the mornings! Because I’m punctual! Because I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle!”
“Princess what now?”
Oh, crud. “Sorry…” Twilight backpedaled, weakly waving a hoof in the air. “I, uh...was having a really weird dream.”
“Weird, huh? Maybe you are sick. I know I get really weird dreams sometimes when I’m sick. Like that time I ate too many gems and got chased by a dragon! Then I dreamed that I was chased by a dragon made of gems, and he was breathing gems at me, but if i touched any of them I’d turn into a gem and it was weird.” Spike shuddered. “Maybe you ate too much yesterday? I know Pinkie was throwing, like, a really big party.”
Don’t ask if she was. “Aheh. I guess I shouldn’t eat so much.” Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head. The brief familiarity of darkness was soothing. “So, um…”
“Oh! Right! Breakfast is ready!” Spike piped, turning around and tottering down the steps to the first floor. “I made pancakes!”
Wait, those were the steps to the first floor. Wait, this was…
This was the Golden Oak Library. She was actually in it.
Twilight looked down by her hind legs. This was her old bed. She was sleeping in her old bed.
Brain still running on rudimentary functions, trying not to implode on itself from the strangeness of all these totally familiar things, Twilight got out of bed and followed Spike down the steps. It occurred to her she never actually saw where he made breakfast, or how he did it. It had to be in here somewhere, and…
Had she always been too busy to ask? Did something as important as eating every day just not seem important to her?
Twilight turned back towards the middle of the library. The walls were inset with dozens of dozens of shelves, and on those shelves were dozens and dozens of books: some put away neatly, and some stacked haphazardly nearby (on in one case, on top of) them. There was a little reading table in the middle, and a huge bust of a mighty warrior on top of the table, looking dutifully over all the knowledge crammed into the oak walls around it.
It was like living inside of a photograph. Twilight trotted over and touched the carving’s head.
It even felt real.
Twilight touched the table. It, too, felt real. Quickly checking around to make sure Spike wasn’t looking at her, she trotted around the library, then grabbed a book off of a shelf at random. Even the book felt real, this -
Wait a minute. The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide? She had read this one. She and her friends needed it when Nightmare Moon returned, over a decade ago...
Had it really been that long?
“Twilight?”
Twilight turned again. Spike was standing there, two pancake-filled plates in his claws, whipped cream and chocolate chips decorating each stack.
Spike’s face settled back into concern. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
“Actually…”
“Actually...what?”
“Actually, um...did you want to eat on the balcony?”
***********************************************************
It was a postcard view of the town.
Above everything else, but not too high above everything else—she could pony watch if she wanted, but she wasn't so far above them all that she couldn't make out anypony else's face. And the weather was fantastic today: the temperature was just right, the faint breeze filled Twilight’s lungs with fresh, clean air and the sky was an absolutely brilliant blue. About the only nitpick was that the clouds looked slightly messy and underfluffed, as if the weather team wasn't completely thorough in making sure the clouds were up to standards...
Twilight just barely held in another gasp. Rainbow Dash was probably still working for the weather ponies, wasn’t she? No wonder the clouds looked a little half-baked: Rainbow Dash was probably napping on the job again. Mind reeling, Twilight tucked into her plate of pancakes.
“...Spike, these are really good!”
The baby dragon blushed. “Aw, shucks. I just used a little more butter and baking powder than usual, you know?”
“I-I mean...I guess I know, yeah.” Twilight wiped an errant daub of whipped cream off of her nose. “That’s probably just chemistry, right?”
“I dunno about chemistry, but it is cooking!” Spike cut off a pancake slice and smeared it around some of the chocolate chips on his plate. “Hey, maybe if you hang around Pinkie Pie more often, then you’ll figure out all of her cooking secrets, too! And maybe then you’ll be able to do the cooking for me” Spike added. “Hint hint.”
“When I find out a good recipe for oven-roasted rubies, I’ll let you know” Twilight replied, good-naturedly rolling her eyes. “But...huh. I guess I could hang out with Pinkie today, couldn’t I?”
Twilight paused.
“Um...Spike. Do I have anything on my schedule today?”
“Oh! Right!” Spike stood up and trotted back inside. Twilight was halfway through another pancake by the time he returned, a scroll clasped firmly in one claw. Unravelling it with a flourish, Spike coughed and read aloud: “June 23, A.C. 1002. Today, Twilight Sparkle…um.”
"Um…" Twilight coaxed.
Spike stared at the scroll, shrugged and turned it around. The page was completely blank. “I guess you don’t need to do anything today, Twilight.”
“Oh.” Twilight Sparkle paused. “...Wait, does that mean I can do anything?”
“I mean, yeah. I guess you can spend the entire day inside reading if you want to, but it’s a really nice day.”
“No. Nonononono. Not today!” Twilight shook her head. “I want to see everypony. No, I need to see everypony! I need to find out where everypony is!”
“You mean, besides just looking outside, right?” Spike cocked an eyebrow.
“Yes!” Twilight squealed. “I need to see the Town Square! And the Town Hall! And the Ponyville schoolhouse, and the clock tower, and the marketplace, and the train station…”
“Uh, Twilight?”
“Or the Day Spa! Or that one cafe, or the joke shop, or the costume shop, or Quills and Sofas! Spike, we could go to Quills and Sofas together!”
“And look at what, Quills and Sofas?” Spike asked, scooting backwards. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m great! I’m wonderful! This is amazing!” Twilight gushed. Her horn glowed as she stood up and bolted back inside, yanked the scroll out of Spike’s hands, grabbed a quill and inkpot off a nearby table, ran down the steps and burst through the sun-drenched front door.
**********************************************************
By the time Twilight started walking towards Quills and Sofas, there was barely any spring in her step at all.
It was perfect. Everything was exactly like she thought it would be, how she remembered it—or how she thought she remembered it. How she thought it was supposed to be. And...and that was the problem. None of it felt familiar at all.
No, wait, it did feel familiar. No, it didn’t. It did. It didn’t.
It was her fault.
Everything was exactly in the right place, and it was all stuff she recognized, but...but she didn’t remember any of it. That was the problem. It existed, but she never really…
Twilight walked inside Quills and Sofas, deliberately avoiding eye contact with the ponies working there, and pretended to look over the newest selection of sofas. She knew this place was here, and she’d always known it was real. The floor under her hooves, the ceiling above her head, the chime of a cash register—those were completely real.
But she’d never really been in here before became a princess, had she? It was real, she knew it existed, but this was all new to her. And it felt like she had taken the marketplace and the clock tower for granted, too. They were there, they had always been there, but…
But they might as well have not existed for her. Because she saw them, but she never really saw them. And looking at these familiar things for the first time made her feel like she hadn’t really existed at all, even though she was physically right here, right now.
She still existed, right?
Shaking her head, Twilight walked back outside. She was supposed to feel at home, but she felt like an imposter more than anything. The world wasn’t her world; it was a world, a world that she existed in, but it wasn’t like it was hoof-crafted for her. Discord had gotten her so mixed up…
Wait. Did Discord even exist anymore?
Was battling him the “Beginning of the End” for her? Is that the point where her life became about saving Equestria?
And if he was gone, if all of the magic and craziness of her life was gone, then where did that leave her? Just a phantom hanging around inside the body of…
Twilight looked behind her. For the first time that day, she realized that she didn’t have wings. Of course she wouldn’t still be an alicorn. Of course she had gotten by just fine without being one. And being an alicorn was part of the life she became, not part of the life she used to live in.
She wasn’t always supposed to be an alicorn, was she? Wasn’t that part of her something that didn’t need to exist?
Or did it need to exist after all? Was what she was doing now—running about like a giggling foal—the part that wasn’t real?
Twilight sighed and stared at the ground as she walked. Thinking about what existed and what didn’t was making her head hurt. She needed a distraction.
“Hi!”
Twilight yelped, scrabbled back in surprise, tripped and fell flat on her back. A second later, her perfectly good view of the sky was blocked out by Pinkie Pie’s face.
“Hey, Pinkie.” Twilight replied, mustering up a smile.
“So I went to see Spike and ask him if today was a cake day or a pie day. Because it’s warm enough that today should totally be a pie day, but it’s also sunny enough that it could totally be a cake day, and it’s Sunday so I don’t know if that means it should be a cake day or a pie day and I promised Mr. and Mrs. Cake that I wouldn’t try to make any more pie-cakes, because the last time that happened I made like a really really big explosion and there was strawberry sauce all over everything!” Pinkie giggled. “But he told me it was totally a Twilight’s-being-a-weirdy-cat day, and now I don’t know if I need to try and be a weirdy-cat too, and if maybe not being allowed to make pie-cakes doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to make cake-pies.”
Twilight blinked. Pinkie continued chattering—largely to herself—about culinary semantics and the construction of confections that were absurd at best and flat-out violations of the laws of physics at worst.
Then Twilight realized what she needed to do.
“Actually, Pinkie, um...mind if I help out?”
********************************************************
“...And that’s the story of how Equestria was made!” Pinkie concluded. “In spirit, anyway. And also in delicious, not-even-slightly-nutritious cupcake form!”
Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy blanched, ever so slightly, at the misshapen and frosting-covered chocolate lumps on the tray.
“Well...dear. I’m not entirely sure what that has to do with Twilight’s cooking...efforts” Rarity replied, gingerly holding a purple-frosted cupcake up to her mouth in the light of the fading sun. “But I’m sure that you tried your best…”
“Even though it totally looks like the opposite” Rainbow Dash interjected.
Rarity glared at Rainbow Dash, opened her mouth and took a large, defiant bite of the cupcake. Then she chewed, swallowed, brushed a chocolate crumb off of her lips and stared incredulously down at the cupcake.
“Twilight, this is...this is delicious!”
The unicorn blushed. “Aww. I just thought I should use a little more butter and whole milk, you know?”
Applejack grabbed an orange-frosted cupcake, took a huge bite and grinned. “Well, it ain’t particularly fancy,” she added, before noticing that Rarity was staring at her and swallowing. “Aheh. Sorry 'bout talkin’ with my mouth full. But that there’s still a real tasty cupcake, Twi.”
Twilight beamed as her friends reached for her cupcakes, chattering among themselves and making a bit of a mess as they ate her desserts. With a sigh of relief, Twilight looked over at Pinkie Pie, who—with a wink and grin—poked her shoulder with her hoof.
“Go on!” Pinkie Pie giggled. “Say it!”
“Right. Now, girls, I’ve…”
They all looked over at her, smiling. Twilight hadn’t realized how weird having all of their attention felt, even though this wasn’t the first time they had all listened to her. But there was…
“I...wanted to say that I’m really thankful that we’ve gotten to spend so much time together. I know it’s been a couple of years...apparently.” Twilight faltered. “Since we defeated Nightmare Moon and became friends. And even after all that time, I’ve still gotten the chance to try out all sorts of things with you, and it’s almost magical how wonderful everything has been with you. I had such a fun day today learning how to bake with Pinkie Pie, and even putting out a kitchen fire didn’t make things too bad…”
Rainbow Dash snorted.
“But the point is, I want to spend more time with all of you. Because your friendship means a lot to me, and my life has been a lot happier since we became friends.”
A cool breeze swept through Twilight’s mane, and she shivered. It was weird, feeling the cold and the heat more acutely than she had again. It was weird not being an alicorn, sort of. But it was the sort of weird that she could handle. She’d always been able to handle it before, right?
“So I know that you have busy lives, and all sorts of things to do. I just wanted to let you know that I’m always ready to have fun with you and learn things from you whenever you want, okay? And I’m always happy to help out, too.”
“Sounds good to me, Twi” Applejack replied. “I ain’t gonna complain about havin’ an extra set of hooves to help me out with the orchard once apple-buckin’ season rolls around again.”
“And goodness knows that I’m always looking for somepony to model my dresses. There’s such a difference between a mannequin and a model, after all” Rarity added. “And I can think of some designs that would suit you quite well!”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash added in. “And you can totally help me out with a trick tomorrow, too! I want everypony to see how awesome I am when I pull off an inverted Buccaneer Blaze, and I want to make sure it’s as awesome as possible if I ever get to show it to the Wonderbolts!”
Twilight froze. Rainbow crammed a cupcake in her mouth, and it wasn’t until she had finished and was reaching for another that Fluttershy spoke up.
“Um...Twilight? I-is everything okay?
“I...that’s. That’s right. You aren’t a Wonderbolt.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to rub it in, you know.”
“That’s not what I...no, it’s. You should be one, you—”
Don’t say that she used to be one.
“In another, I mean, if you...you totally could be one. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
“Are you sure you’re all right, dear?” Rarity interjected. Twilight’s friends were staring at her again, and it was definitely making her uncomfortable now.
“I’m fine! Just...amazed. Amazed at the ponies you…” Twilight gasped. “Rarity?”
“Yes, Twilight?”
“You...you don’t have a boutique in Canterlot, do you?”
Rarity sighed. “That’s still a while away, I’m afraid. I’m not sure I’m as famous a pony as I’d need to be in order to have a place in Canterlot.”
“But you could. You really could. You’re...you could do it.”
“Uh, Twi?” Applejack cut in.
Twilight took a step back. “You could all do all of that! You’re good enough at what you do that you could follow your dreams, a-and you could earn everything you wanted, it...Rainbow Dash could be a Wonderbolt, Rarity could be a world-famous fashion designer, all of you could…”
“I mean, sometimes dreams are just dreams, you know?” Rainbow Dash added. “Look, maybe I’m not ever gonna be a Wonderbolt, but who cares? Trying is half the fun!”
“And I certainly wouldn’t mind being famous, but at the end of the day I’m quite content with the pony that I am” Rarity concluded. “I’m doing what I love for ponies I care about, and I live quite comfortably. I can’t think of any way I’d rather be.”
“I…” Twilight stammered. “I...you...I’m…”
“Whatever is the matter, darling?” Rarity frowned. “You look like you’re on the verge of tears.”
“No, you don’t understand, you had that.” Something was clutching at Twilight’s throat, making it difficult to breathe, much less speak. “You had everything you wanted, and then I showed up, and I changed everything, and I…”
Twilight trembled.
“I took it all away.”
Spinning on her heels, Twilight turned and ran. The nighttime gloom made it difficult to see, even without all the water in her eyes. She couldn’t look at them. She didn’t want to look at them anymore. She didn’t want to see anything, anymore, didn’t want to see what she had done.
She had broken everything. She had ruined their lives. She wanted a life where nopony mattered but her, her feelings, her thoughts, her wants. Even by showing up at all, even the first time, she had taken their dreams and crushed them without a second thought. They’d never be the ponies they wanted to be, never have the things they wanted to have, by definition. She had made a world where they never got what they worked all their lives to have. Maybe she had done that to the entire town. Maybe to the entire world.
And that was exactly what she had wanted.
Twilight stumbled through the door to the Golden Oak Library, walked just far enough to collapse on the table in the middle, and burst into tears.
Her chest hurt. Her face hurt. Everything hurt, and it should have hurt more, she deserved it. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. She didn’t mean for things to happen that way. Except she meant for this to happen, it was exactly as fair as it had been offered to her, and it was what she had willingly done.
Twilight barely heard the doorknob rattling behind her. She barely felt something touch her shoulder. She didn’t want to feel it. She didn’t want this to feel real. That would make it worse.
“Uh, Twi?” Rainbow Dash’s voice cut in.
Twilight kept sobbing. She heard Rainbow Dash sigh, and heard her footsteps trot off.
Then they returned, and Twilight heard the clunk of something heavy being set down next to her.
“This is a bucket of water” Rainbow Dash explained. “I’m really awkward at dealing with crying stuff, and I really don’t want to have to be around crying ponies, so here’s the deal: either you stop crying, look at me and tell me what the horsefeathers is going on, or I’m going to dump this bucket of water over your head, get another bucket and keep dumping water on your head until the whole library’s soaked. Okay?”
Twilight’s chest heaved. Lifting her head felt monumental. Trying to hold back the flood in her tear ducts felt almost impossible. Her heart felt like it was ready to explode, and the rest of her body wanted her to scrunch up until everything went away.
But instead, with a small hiccup, Twilight raised her head and stared at Rainbow Dash. The pegasus hadn’t been lying: she looked at least as awkward and uncomfortable as she did concerned. But she was still here, still waiting for an explanation, body language still clearly indicating that the bucket was always an option.
“Why?” Twilight squeaked.
“Uh, because somepony had to go after you? And being fast is, like, my thing. I wanted to go grab you by your tail, you know, but we had to spend time talking about feelings and behavior and was there something Spike could tell us and where has Spike been this afternoon, anyway and just...ugh. So I just kind of figured that you’d be here, since this is, like your home. And now I guess we’re here?” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “So yeah, uh. Why are you crying?”
Twilight’s face crumpled.
“No, seriously.” Rainbow Dash pushed the bucket forward with one wing. “Stop it.”
Twilight took a deep breath, tried to uncrumple her face, hiccuped and replied:
“I ruined your dream.”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash quirked an eyebrow.
“I...Where I came from. It’s...I’m not from this Equestria, Rainbow Dash.”
“Oooooookay. Spooky magic nonsense. Got it.”
“It’s not—”
“Look.” Rainbow Dash raised a hoof. “It sounds either like science or like prophecy or something, so either way I’m not gonna understand it. And if you’re gonna try and explain it to me, we’re both just gonna get frustrated.”
“But—”
“You’re not from this Equestria, huh? So, like, the Twilight Sparkle I’ve been friends with for years isn’t the Twilight Sparkle I think she is? Is she a spy or something?”
“No!” Twilight hiccuped. “I’m still Twilight Sparkle! I’ve always been Twilight Sparkle!”
“Then who cares? You can say you’re a Twilight Sparkle from one place or another, but since you’re the Twilight Sparkle I’ve known for as long as I’ve known Twilight Sparkle, then who cares about what the other one’s like?”
“Don’t you?”
“I don’t know her, duh. You might as well paint up the mailpony and tell me that’s who you really are, or something. I don’t care. I’m still not going to hang out with her. 'Cause even though you’re dweeby and nerdy and an egghead, you’re still a fun dweeby, nerdy egghead. I hang out with you because I want to, and I don’t care what you want to call yourself, or who you think you are.”
Twilight hiccuped. “Oh.”
“And enough with the hiccups. I know you can use some unicorn mumbo-jumbo to fix that, and it’s getting annoying.” Rainbow Dash sighed. “So, fine. You’re Twilight Sparkle, and you’ve always been Twilight Sparkle, and since everypony here knows and likes Twilight Sparkle that’s basically good enough for us. Is that seriously it?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, it’s that...where I came from, you were a Wonderbolt. The best Wonderbolt ever, actually. And now you aren’t.”
Silence fell. Twilight felt a hiccup well up inside her, but a quick glow of her horn and waver around her neck fixed that problem for good.
Finally, Rainbow Dash replied.
“So?”
Twilight’s jaw dropped.
“So you know a Rainbow Dash—who’s this total stranger that I’ve never met before, but who looks like me and has the same name as me, I guess—and she’s a Wonderbolt. So, uh, why should I care?”
“Rainbow Dash, it’s not a stranger! It’s you!”
“Look, if you want to tell me that there’s a version of me that became a really awesome Wonderbolt, that’s fine. But I’m me. I’m not her. And I’m not a Wonderbolt, okay?”
“I…”
“I mean, I’m not a Wonderbolt yet. I’ll get there. But like I said, trying is half the fun, so unless you’re telling me that you can travel through time…”
“I can! I did!”
“Oh, really?” Rainbow Dash arched her other eyebrow. “So then everything’s going to turn out exactly the same as it did where you came from?”
“It—”
Twilight paused.
“...It won’t.”
“So you have literally no way of knowing what the future’s gonna be like. I mean, feel free to make crazy guesses, but I’m pretty sure making crazy guesses is against the Egghead’s Code, or something. Look, will I ever get to meet her?” Rainbow Dash pressed.
“...I don’t think so. I think that’s impossible.”
“So then why bother talking about it? You’re just gonna make yourself feel depressed, and it’s not gonna change anything. Besides, like I said, just because I’m not a Wonderbolt now doesn’t mean I’m never gonna be a Wonderbolt. And your crazy guess is as good as mine as to what comes next, and hey—even if things stay like this forever, that’s not really bad, is it?”
“It isn’t?”
“No duh, Twilight. Life is fun! Being with you guys is fun! I’m totally happy with this life I have, and if things never change, then I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop being happy, you know? That’s just common sense.”
The pain in Twilight’s chest was fading. Her eyes felt slightly less leaky. Her body felt like it was more in her control, now…
...Wait. It wasn’t just her body. It was...her. Her, in this place, with her friends. This actually felt…
“I guess...I guess you aren’t wrong.” Twilight sighed. “And I mean, I’m really happy being with you guys, too. Wait, no, not just happy, it’s not just fun, I mean, it’s…”
And as if she was seeing it for the first time that day, Twilight drank it all in: the richness of the library, the books and scrolls full of thoughts and things to learn, and her friend.
A friend that was as real as anything else here. No, not just “here.” This Rainbow Dash was real. Her friends were real. The world was real, she was real, everything continued to exist as she believed it would, and…
And the comfort and security that had eluded Twilight for years and years finally settled themselves back on her, and she grabbed Rainbow Dash and wrapped the slightly surprised pegasus up in a hug.
“I’m home.” Twilight sniffed. “I’m finally home.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. Then she wriggled her forelegs out of Twilight’s grip and squeezed back.
“Yeah. Yeah, you are, Twi” Rainbow Dash said. “Welcome home.”