Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows


Chapter Nineteen, The Whimsical Witch of Even: Majorly dogged too.

-Fizzle-

Three seconds, my reaction time was pretty good if I do say so myself.

It took me my first second to realize we were somewhere else, the second to know there was a guard directly standing behind us and the third to put my rear hooves to his forehead.

The thestral went down instantly when my snap buck connected, I took note of his equipment in a glance. Thestrals were much better than Canterlot Guards, at least according to what Jade tells me about them. These guys were armed with crossbows, wing blades and a few other lethal implements like throwing stars.

“What is going on in… gak!” An ODD thestral guard had been walking in, he looked ready to call out an alarm. Unfortunately for him, something got lodged in his throat that happened to be fired from Jacky’s bow.

Jacky broke away from I and mom to slam her bow across his brow, she then reached down and pulled the object out of his throat. The guy was still thankfully breathing after that, at least Jacky’s luck wasn’t nearly bad enough to incidentally kill someone.

Sure it could cripple, maim, bruise, break and beat someone down, but Jacky’s luck never directly killed anyone as far as we know. Indirectly is a different kettle of fish.

So far so good, I’m guessing that we were already inside and mom got us here with a potion.

“A potion of teleportation I did break, keeping the guards unwary is an opportunity we will take.” Seriously mom? Did you even need to rhyme for that one, it was kind of obvious what the potion did in hindsight. I turned to see what Jacky was holding.

“Really Jacky, a popsicle stick? Dare I ask what flavor it was before it became part of your arsenal?” I asked not even expecting an answer.

“Orange cream pop, but I prefer the banana cream flavor personally.” Well of course you do, you loved bananas as much as Jade loved lemon juice on fish or just fruit in general.

“Girls… quiet.” We turned to mom who slowly poked her head out the door to the large room with bunk beds and other stuff you’d expect a bunch of a barracks. “Let’s move... wait!”

We started to for the door when mom called out for us to wait, we moved by the door as she walked into the room and grabbed the thestral Jacky knocked out and dragged it over to the one I took down.

“Real mature mom, you’re really showing us just how to act your age.” I knew for certain that mom really doesn’t act her age, not when she positioned the two thestrals provocatively like that.

“Well we can’t have people asking questions, if they are caught like this then they’ll think whatever these two have to say is just covering up for their passionate tryst with one another.” Sure, that was the logical explanation, but what was the fun one Kurilian? “Relatively young love, isn’t it grand?”

“I’m with Fizzle on this one, your just doing this to be silly while covering our backs when they wake up.” Note that Jacky’s words were not met with denial, they were met with a demented smile. The same kind of smile Jade is known to get when she starts targeting someone, I think I know where she gets it from now. “Is the coast clear at least?”

“Yes, but I really don’t know where we’re going.” Great, just great mom, this won’t end in disaster with Jacky around. I feel like Jade got off fairly well in this situation. “We’ll just wing it!”

I groaned loudly, this was going to be one of those days huh?

-Jade-

Okay, taking a crossbow bolt through the shoulder was excessively painful, but that didn’t mean I stopped running. These thestrals actually meant business, outrunning the Canterlot Royal Guard was a complete joke compared to these guys.

I ducked a cross bow bolt and rolled into an alleyway, these guys actually had a modicum of good aim. Now if I were a thestral, where would I go to have a crossbow bolt removed?

It’s not like I knew Night Fright Grotto like the back of my paw, or was it Fright Night Grotto? Okay I’m a bit delirious from the pain, but that’s nothing to worry about as long as they didn’t get me in the legs.

Okay, this might hurt quite a bit, but I was going to lead them away with my hydra scale duplicate. The double edged sword here is that I’ll be doubling the pain I’m currently in. Nothing for it, I took my magical sustain off the knife and pushed it to the small bit of hydra scale.

With a glow, my body split off in two directions. My clone didn’t ask questions, she just bolted out of the alleyway and started running for all she was worth. I just sat down to rest.

I hissed out a breath. It was quite painful feeling my injury in stereo, but the chasing thestrals flew by giving chase to my clone and missed seeing the real me here. Once she got them far enough away without taking another injury, my clone dispersed much to their confusion that they lost me.

My clone wasn’t an illusion, so their sonar screeches would see her as real. Thank goodness the pain lessened back to its original strength once my clone was gone, that took a lot out of me. Sugar whined at my injury, she was still too tired to help.

“Coo? Coo!” Huh, is that, I must be seeing things, because… oh goddesses the pain! Why, what exactly was one of the many things that I did to deserve this?

At least I knew it was really Snickers and while I was happy to see her, she was standing on my crossbow bolt while hugging me.

“Snickers, while I’m very exceedingly happy to see you again, you should take into account my current situation buddy.” I let out through my gritted teeth. The turtle blinked once or twice and then noticed the crossbow bolt she was standing on.

The flying snuggle turtle's wings burst out of her shell and started hovering around me in a panic while hissing and cooing up a storm. Yeah, this was really helpful to the given situation Snickers. Like I wanted the attention of the ODD guards that were actively trying to shoot me.

Maybe Bahamut does cut rate medical procedures? I knew he had all kinds of magical power, but I’d just settle for another taco right about now. Using the temporary clone was quite tiring.

“Oh my goodness, are you okay?” The voice made me look up and blink at the shadow casting over me.

“I’d have to ask you the same thing.” Once I took in the disheveled form before me. “What happened to you?”

“Coo!” I turned to my buddy as she pointed out the clearly defined crossbow bolt sticking out of me.

“Yes, I’m very well aware there’s a crossbow bolt in me Snickers and I’m quite sure she’s noticed it too.” I sighed and put my left hand to my head.

“Snickers, is that her name? You know this little troublesome flying turtle?” The figure asked, I nodded that I did in fact know Snickers. “She nearly got me eaten by giant spiders!”

“Sorry about that. She’s smart, but Snickers is not exactly a long term planner by any stretch of the imagination.” I paused and decided to add. “The spiders are a local delicacy of the thestrals. Judging by the look I’m receiving, I think I would currently have arachnophobia if I were to see what you saw.”

“Quite an apt conclusion to put it lightly.” The feminine form before me shuddered.

We both ignored the indignant look Snickers was sending us as she kept pointing a flipper to the crossbow bolt with my life blood flowing out all over it.

“I’m Jaded La Perm, nice to meet you. I believe you’ve already met my familiar and wayward companion Snickers the sea turtle dove.” Introductions were in order since this was someone Snickers befriended.

“I think she’s this way!” A voice shouted off in the distance.

“Excuse me, but I believe we have a taco stand to find!” I got up, despite my protesting shoulder, and grabbed Snickers to start moving in the opposite direction of the guards.

While I was doing this I would fill in Snickers new friend about what was going on around here, I would also ask where my buddy has been for all this time.

-Jacky-

Well we found the R&D room after several near misses and my bad luck causing ample amounts of noise trying to attract a lot of attention to us. The room had a large entrance for the tank to exit out of, it’s just that it only opened from the inside.

We couldn’t have found it from the other side thanks to the camouflaged wall, which wasn’t exactly important anymore. What was important was that the PATTYCAKE Seventy Seven was before us in all its glory, only it was not painted pink like it was supposed to be.

The modifications made to it certainly made it more of a war machine, its original purpose was definitively overshadowed by the new bright neon green armor. The tank probably didn’t need glow moss to be seen around here, it was practically glow in the dark and dark was what thestrals did best.

Looking about we didn’t see any thestrals in here, which was a little odd. You’d think a modified party machine would be guarded more closely, the barracks certainly were until we started moving away from it.

“Jacky check the tank and see what it will take to get it up and running. Fizzle assist Jacky and keep an eye out for anything that she could break by accident, I’ll be on lookout.” Mom received a salute from me and I looked for a tool kit to get to work to see if everything was in order with the tank.

-Approximately one hour later-

“You know chief cook, I can’t help but think something's wrong with all this.” You’d think the thestrals would be keeping this thing well protected. “I’ve fixed the minor problems with the barrel, the engine and checked for all kinds of booby traps. It still seems like there is something we’re missing here.”

The tank would still fire party munitions, but it would be a lot more painful than actually fun. The armor was done correctly, the engine was a small problem and needed a lot of energy to start it up and I had no idea where I was going to get… oh right, Fizzle was here and her horns output was insane.

Everything seemed to be in order except for one problem.

“Do either of you know how to drive this thing? I can work the cannon, but driving the party tank itself is going to be an issue.” Need I remind these two that this was not my area of expertise? I’ve rebuilt airships from the ground up and know how to fix anything short of a broken keel. This was smaller and much more different, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t use my knowledge to get it running.

“Not a clue.” Fizzle reported dryly.

“Nope, I’m a magical witch and not a pirate engineer.” Mom followed up as she watched our surroundings. “Twenty bits says as soon as we get it running, this has all been one big trap for Prime.”

“Not taking that bet, it’s definitely a trap. Which is odd, because they left a semi working vehicle for us to use to escape in.” I’m with Fizzle here, there was something quite off about all this. “Anything wrong with the tank Jacky?”

“Not anymore, at the very least it’ll run a bit slower with all the unnatural armor that’s been added to it.” That was the only thing I could think of that was wrong here. I’ve checked absolutely every portion of this tank and the only thing now was jump starting the magical engine with a power source. “We’ll need Fizzle to get it started though.”

The thing wasn’t very big, it was at least half a little bit larger than a normal carriage on the bottom. The treads were tough looking and I had checked them for structural frailty. On top was the small turret that could turn three hundred and sixty degrees. It could easily fit four to five ponies. It wasn’t exactly roomy for me or Kuril because we were more vertical beings compared to a pony like Fizzle.

“Okay, what do I have to do?” Fizzle seemed raring and ready to go.

“I’ll set something up, you girls get the tank running.” While mom went off to do that, I climbed up onto the tank with Fizzle to get inside.

Once we got down to where the engine was, I pointed out the exact spot to hit.

“Right here, lightning energy, as much as you can safely put into it.” I watched as fizzle concentrated and her broken horn sputtered to life, the output on it should be enough to get us going.

It was minutes later and the tank was operational thanks to Fizzle powering it up, the way out had been rigged to open with whatever concoction mom put at the base of the wall and she was currently reading the manual on how to drive this tank.

“Do me a favor, can you fire this out of the cannon at that other vial?” Nodding to mom, I took the vial and climbed up into the turret. I might be bad luck, but my skills more than made up for it.

Let’s see, range, party cannon powder, vial of dubious substances loaded within the cannon of the party tank and…

“Firing to make a hole!” I shouted.

The vial was on target and hit the other one and they both shattered violently spilling their contents all over the spot, but nothing happened. The tank started rolling backwards.

“Mom what are you…” A massive explosion interrupted me and rocked the tank, but I didn’t hear anything get damaged by it.

“Just getting us out of the blast radius my little chick.” Mom stated cheerily from below.

Looking outside where an entire wall used to be, it was a large hole now.

The tank rolled out of the R&D building and into the streets, only for us to be met with another larger tank.

“Hello, I see you found the tank I set as a trap to lure you Prime.” Unfortunately for Hollow, Primed was busy elsewhere because mom convinced him we’d handle the tank. I guess it was we’d handle the ‘tanks’ now. “I’m surprised you even got it working properly.”

“Oh, I think we’ll be getting this tank back to EVEN.” Mom stated confidently despite the present challenge.

“You will not survive that long, for this is the Mega Galvanizer!” Apparently Hollow Heart’s large dark gray tank was not a normal party tank, given the size of it was at least twice that of the tank we were in. “With this weapon no one will deny my power!”

“Do you think that he just might be overcompensating for something?” A weird question to ask I know, but that tank looked like a real war machine compared to our dinky little, notably barely modified for battle, party tank.