Dear Autumn Blaze,
We are a might happy that we were able to reunite you with the rest of your village again and we're happy that we all got them to talking again. You know, perhaps you could come and visit us in Equestria sometime. I have a feeling you'd like it quite a bit.
Sincerely,
Applejack and Fluttershy
Dear Applejack and Fluttershy,
Wait a minute, you're from Equestria? You're from that place where there is that huge white Alicorn that is constantly stuffing her face with cake? You're from that place where that pink Alicorn screwed her sister-in-law and nearly destroyed her marriage? You're from that place where a light pink unicorn is constantly showing up that lavender Alicorn and proving how much better she is than her? I'd love to come visit sometime and I'm sure everyKirin else would love to as well!
Perhaps we could even meet all these awesome ponies I have heard about through the news....especially that white Alicorn because she might share her cake with me and I would love to meet that light pink unicorn that always shows up that seductress lavender Alicorn! Let me know when I can come and visit and I can share everything about my homeland with them!
Hoping to Meet Celestia,
Autumn Blaze
Dear Princess Celestia,
I know you are likely surprised to hear from a Kirin but my name is Autumn Blaze and a couple of your subjects came to visit us a while back. They were able to help get the rest of my kind to talk again and welcome me back to the village. When I found out where they were from, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to visit your country someday.
From what I understand, you really like cake. You see, I really like cake too and I was wondering if I came to visit if you would share your cake with me? I also understand that there is this lavender Alicorn who screws her sister-in-law and a light pink unicorn who always shows her up. I would love to meet all of you, well we would all love to meet you someday. Let me know if I can come visit.
Hoping to Meet You,
Autumn Blaze
Autumn Blaze,
Well you could come and meet us all but let me make myself clear. I DO NOT SHARE MY CAKE! If anypony even thinks about trying to take my cake, I will banish them to the moon. Now about the lavender and pink Alicorns, yeah you can meet them but be careful about the lavender one, if she finds you hot she would likely try to seduce you and I'm not sure if you want that.
Now regarding the light pink unicorn, I'm sure she'd like to meet you. She likes making friends and I'm sure she would likely find your kind fascinating, perhaps enough that she would want to meet all of you and maybe become our ambassador to you guys.
Again I will say this, don't even think about me sharing my cake. If you want to sit down and talk with me over cake, you'll have to bring your own.
Making Sure You Don't Steal My Cake,
Princess Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia,
Get this, the map called Applejack and Flutterbitch out to the land of the Kirin on a friendship mission. This is the second time those two have been called so perhaps they were called out to bring down a con-pony or something. Whatever it is, I feel sorry for them having to put up with a vet screwing skank and I feel bad for Applejack having to put up with that whiny little bitch.
One bit of good news though, Cadence came to visit! The bad news, Starlight and Trixie were there and insisted that they join us and Cadence agreed. Now for what is the best, Cadence didn't find Starlight and Trixie all that good so I'll still have her to myself! Now I'm sure you're wondering how she is pulling this off and not angering Shining Armor but she told me that she told him that she was coming to visit you. So to keep the peace and so I can keep my Cadence, if my brother asks, she with you, alright?
Having My Cadi,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Twilight,
It is so good to see that you have your Cadence again! You seem a whole lot happier now that you own her again. I still can't help but wonder what Iron Will would think of this. I do have some advice though, don't try and get her pregnant. The last thing I need is a Flurry Heart v2.0. Yes ponies are more laid back and wouldn't mind you bucking your sister-in-law but if a foal is still part of a controversy, they won't stand for it.
I know you're happy to have Cadence again but that better not keep you from doing your job, got it? Remember, your primary job is torturing undesirables, not bucking your sister-in-law. If you fail to do your job, I'll take Cadence away and she'll become my PERMANENT sex slave, got it?
Ready to Take Cadence As My Own,
Princess Celestia