Dear Crash,
So what do you think about your little friend idolizing me, huh? What do you think about her temporarily joining the Washouts? You know what the difference between us and the Blunderwolts is? You don't have to be able to fly to be part of our club! All you have to do is either wash out of your little club or worship me as I deserve!
I will be honest though, your little minion is nothing short of chickenshit. She is a little coward and of course leave it to you to come in and rescue her. Had you not done so, maybe she would have completed the stunt, lost her cowardly ways and teamed up with me permanently. Too bad it didn't work out, we could have used a little newbie to haul our shit around.
The Better Stunt Pony,
Lightning Dust
Dear Lightning Dust,
You are just as reckless as ever. I will admit, your show is exciting but one of these days somepony is going to get killed, preferably you, and then nopony will ever come to your shows again. Hell, I wouldn't be one bit surprised if Princess Celestia were to disband you guys for your behavior.
Much Better than You,
Crash.....yes that is my Wonderbolt nickname!
P.S. Oh and I finally got Scootaloo to see the light. I finally got her to see what a self-absorbed and uncaring bitch you really are. Want to know what happened to that useless Washout uniform?, her and I burned it along with a picture of you in effigy. Now go back to being a sub-par wannabe who will never amount to anything.
Dear Scootaloo,
How could you? How could you find the Washouts so fascinating and why would you think flying formations would be boring? Yeah we may not put our lives at risk but at least we are a legitimate squad recognized by Princess Celestia! The Washouts are just some low grade group of entertainers that put everypony's safety, even their own, at risk. You know what they wanted to do with you, you could have been killed! I have some advice, forget about these Washout losers. That is exactly what they are, washouts. They are failures and don't you forget it.
Your Hero,
Rainbow Crash
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I'm sorry, alright? You know how I like ponies who do dangerous things and put themselves at risk. I suppose you are right though, Lightning Dust is a horrible bitch, even worse than how Celestia was when my friends and I said that she was going to die an early death because of her cake habit. I do hope you can forgive me.
Your Biggest Fan,
Scootaloo
Dear Princess Celestia,
You are going to think this is hilarious! You know how Scootaloo seems to think that Crash's shit doesn't stink? Well she wound up finding a new team of ponies to worship, this daredevil team called the Washouts. Want to know what is funnier? This former adversary of Crash's, Lightning Dust, is their leader and all of a sudden Crashie was upset that Scootaloo found a new team to cheer for.
I always knew that Crash's ego was very fragile but it was a huge blow to her when her adoptive sister decided she was lame and her enemy was awesome. I am going to admit, that Washout group was quite entertaining but after nearly dying in a stunt they put her through, Scootaloo finally wound up realizing what horrible ponies they are.
Now Scootaloo is back to idolizing Crashie and Crash has gone so far as to start a Scootaloo fan club. Seriously, a fan club for one of the three bitches that drug our names through the mud back in season two? Fuck that shit, why can't they make a fan club for me? Hey I have my groove back and I have my Cadi back so that should be something to make ponies idolize me!
Wishing I Had a Fan Club,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
Seriously, Crash got her ego busted when her little sister started idolizing a former enemy of hers? That had to have been funny to see. Now while that is nice and all that she finally realized Crash's enemy is a bitch, I have much more important things on my and a huge task for you.
My task to you is to dissolve that fan club Crash has created for that libelous little bitch. No way in hell is a pony who has drug so many ponies' names through the mud going to be idolized in any way, shape or form in MY country. The only way she should ever be put in the spotlight is if it is her and her scum friends being flogged in the courtyard under my balcony. Don't fail me Twilight or I'll turn Cadence against you.
Upset Ponies Idolize Scootaloo,
Princess Celestia
P.S. A fan club for you, really? Now maybe after you and Cadence wind up on the Iron Will show again things will change. I do have some good news though, ponies nowadays aren't nearly as uptight as they used to be. Who knows, an appearance on the Iron Will show may actually cause you and your Cadi to be more well liked! Well time will tell I suppose.