//------------------------------// // Auspicious Beginnings // Story: Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead // by Rune Soldier Dan //------------------------------// The table Celestia had donated to their dorm was more an over-sized workbench, pulled out after years of collecting dust in the garage. Heavy and cumbersome for its role, it none-the-less gave room for one girl to clean guns or four to eat. More to the point, it gave Sunset something on which to dramatically slam her palms to call the meeting to order. “Okay everyone, thank you for coming.” “We live here.” Adagio lounged on a TV chair, tapping her phone. Twilight shook her head. “I don’t.” “The rest of us do. Don’t be selfish.” Applejack gently bopped the yellow siren on the head. “Be nice, Daj.” That got a smile. “Been a while since you called me that.” “Don’t remind me,” Applejack sighed, then turned to Sunset. “So what’s up? Got a lead on the mysterious Mister D?” “Maybe.” Sunset paused a second, willfully scanning the room to make sure their fifth was in. “The name I’m thinking sounded familiar, so I wrote Princess Twilight and got a hit from my world.” She paused again. “Wallflower, do you know about Equestria?” Wallflower ticked off points on her fingers. “I was there for the Fall Formal, half your planning sessions during the Battle of the Bands, and when you lost your shit on Twilight during the Friendship Games.” Sunset reddened and gave a weak chuckle. “W...wow, I don’t remember meeting you at any of those.” “We did at a few, but I was weird and awkward and zapped you with the memory stone thinking I could just redo it until I made a good first impression.” Wallflower shrugged, loudly stripping open a candy bar. “Pretty much my high school social life in a nutshell, but let’s get back on topic. Yes, I know about Equestria.” “Cool.” Sunset nodded. “I’m going to be blunt, Discord–” Adagio gave an obnoxious snort, though Sunset pressed on. “...Is like a demigod of Chaos in Equestria. He was sealed away before my and even Adagio’s time, and recently let free.” “Our Discord’s a nut,” Adagio countered. Sunset shook her head. “It follows a pattern. Equestria’s Sombra was an evil wizard, Earth’s was a lich. Their Chrysalis was queen of the changelings, here she runs a big tobacco company.” “That ain’t really the same,” Applejack noted. Wallflower responded with a grunt. “Yeah, ours probably killed more people.” “And their Twilight’s a princess, their Celestia’s a sun goddess, and so on, so forth.” Sunset shrugged with her hands. “It’s never a perfect parallel, but there have always been more similarities than differences. That’s why I want us to tail him for a few days and see if we can learn anything.” She hesitated. Then, “For, ah, for anyone who wants in. This kind of thing is important to me, but if anyone wants out I won’t say boo.” “Find out if an evil demigod has tenure here?” Twilight scratched under the sleeves of her labcoat, then fingered a suspicious bulge in it. “That’s a little important for me, too.” Wallflower nodded, and Adagio lazily raised a hand. “In. I still think you’re wrong, and don’t get the impression this makes us teammates. I just want to find this Mister D before he learns the ghouls failed and starts knifing virgins.” She leaned backwards over the armrest and gave Applejack an upside-down smile. “Clever you – in refusing me sex, you make me a target and so force my cooperation.” The smile only grew in the second before Applejack’s hat came down over it. “Y’all don’t even need to ask me, Sunset. Just remember to let your people know if we find something.” “Absolutely,” Sunset said. “Any confirmed spookiness and I’ll call...” She gave a slight cough. “...Miss Redheart. I printed Discord’s class schedule, and I saw which bus he takes to campus. Let’s split into shifts and see if we can keep tabs on him.” The first opportunity was the obvious, easy one, and so the shift Adagio claimed for herself. She followed Discord from their mythology class, keeping pace as he climbed stairs to the “head” of the pig-shaped building. Its nostrils formed windows into a lounge, where Discord hurled himself to an easy chair and lifted a copy of the college newspaper from a trashcan. One hand shuffled a speaker-bud to his ear, and he began humming tunelessly while scanning the headlines. Adagio sat at one of the tables, making a convincing show of a pupil in study. She cracked the myths textbook for the first time and set-to highlighting random lines. She even read a few by accident and couldn’t resist a snort. “After losing their contest with the muses, the sirens lost their powers and fell, each becoming a lonely island in the sea...” She reread it, her humor fading before slapping the page aside. Discord’s humming took form, making a pleasant rhythm as Adagio read on. The book got wendigos wrong, vampires wrong, animate mummies were a modern invention yet occupied a full chapter… Her highlighter tapped to the beat. Her lips moved unconsciously at the right time, wordlessly following as Discord snapped his fingers and began tone-deaf singing. “You're a star and you should know it Yeah, you rise above the rest It doesn't matter who you hurt If you're just proving you're the–” The coin dropped. “WHAT!?” Discord looked up with a mild, snaggle-toothed smile as Adagio stormed towards him. “What the heck are you listening to!?” “Only the hit new pop stars’ new hit, ‘Battle of the Bands!’ And I must say, this duo has a lot of talent.” Ignoring or not noticing the steam from Adagio’s ears, Discord produced his phone and displayed the album cover on his music app: Aria and Sonata, looking out with such infuriating grins Adagio felt certain they knew she’d see it. “Albums!” Adagio snarled, and Discord wisely pocketed the image. “No way, no-how they’re launching albums so fast. And even if they did, I wrote that song!” “Oh, you know how music is these days,” Discord said amicably, returning to his newspaper. “It’s all about getting ‘discovered’ and such. I feel sorry for all the suckers studying music here, but I guess someone has to flip burgers for the next generation.” He hummed along, continuing to read as Adagio stormed from the lounge. Afternoon. With the days cooling and more students spending their time outdoors, the senior tech class had laid out some boastful entertainment, playing their computer-generated movie on the bulletin screen over the student union. It was surreal, but pleasant: moving lights to the tune of soft music, giving an ethereal sense of weightlessness and mystery. To those who cared, anyway. Applejack couldn’t understand why dozens of passers wasted perfectly good jogs and picnics watching TV. Discord was among their number, perched on the fountain’s rim with a serious expression at odds with Sunset’s description. Applejack nervously sat next to him, aware that she was absolutely the wrong girl for subterfuge. Discord’s eyes remained on the screen, leaving her to quietly give it a go. “Mister Discord, right? My friend Sunset’s in your class. She, uh, says she learns a lot in it.” “Does she?” Like a floating apple, Discord’s head rotated slowly to look at Applejack, then back to the show. “Strange, I see her every day. That’s usually what people say when they cut class all the time, so maybe she isn’t paying as much attention as I thought.” Applejack chucked, still unsure where she could possibly lead this. “Nah, she says it’s really good.” “‘Good’ is perspective.” He gave a tight little smile. Again, the head moved slowly to bring eyes on Applejack. “The line often blurs in myths and legends.” Those red and yellow eyes… something about them set Applejack to blinking, like she had gazed in the sun. She looked away, only thinking to neutrally add, “Yeah?” Discord nodded, and the lights from the screen took a tantalizing red and gold. “Indeed. Did you ever hear the tragedy of Count Plagueis the Wise?” “Nope.” Applejack half-rose to retreat, pushing herself up with the palms when Discord continued. “He was a vampire so powerful he could use his magic to...” Another slow turn of the head. “...Create life. To bring back his loved ones from the ashes of death, and reunite happily with those stolen away before their time.” Applejack looked sharply, seeing Discord’s eyes still upon her. An enigmatic smile hovered below them. “What’s more, that power is real.” Memories of orange curls and strong yellow arms moved through Applejack’s heart as she answered with a soft, “Really?” “OF COURSE NOT!” Discord threw out his arms, laughing uproariously. “I stole that from Star Wars. Oh my, but you should have seen the look on your face.” Applejack’s wide gaze narrowed to a nonplussed glare. Still laughing, Discord pulled out a tissue and blew a trombone blast before continuing. “Listen, even if we entertain the silly notion of vampires, it is utterly beyond the realm of any chance that the dead live on somewhere. Heaven, Elysium, whatever you like, all the ludicrous invention of small-minded fools who pathetically believe Mommy and Daddy Dearest are waiting for them over a rainbow bridge. Some people just lack the maturity to accept the dead are gone forever, and you’ll never see them again, I suppose.” Applejack bolted upright, ready to sprint in lieu of violence. But Discord, damn him, also stood, leaving her fuming in place as he strode from the park. Gentle music and soft lights did nothing for Applejack’s mood as she pounded a number in her phone and held it up. “Sunset? Yeah, it’s me. I don’t know if Discord’s a vampire or demigod or how-diddy-doo-dah, but he’s a rat bastard all the same.” Twilight Sparkle was not a girl who rode public transportation. She was a girl who got dropped off and picked up by her independently-wealthy parents every day, with her doting brother subbing in when needed. She was the only one who could make it to Discord’s evening bus. Fortunately, she was prepared. Exact change for the driver, a medical mask for the countless diseases clouding the air, and a pepper-based electric smoke bomb in her pocket for a quick escape. It worked like a combination smoke bomb, taser, and pepper spray, something she felt certain would corner the self-defense market once she decided to patent it. Discord easily matched Sunset’s description, and some good or bad luck placed an open seat by his side. Twilight advanced furtively to the spot, dodging the eyes of strangers and wondering if Wallflower really had it so bad. A relieved sigh escaped as she sat next to Discord. No talking, just listening. Observing, like an experiment! She could do that, although there seemed little to observe. Discord munched a banana as he read a dated sci-fi novel, and apparently found something in it greatly amusing. He kept chuckling, drawing curious glances from others as the chuckles grew louder and more frequent. “Preposterous!” Discord finally burst out as the bus lurched at a stop-sign. He turned to Twilight, holding open the yellowed pages for her to see. “Utterly ridiculous! Science fiction is supposed to be at least based on the plausible, but this writer was a hack even in his time. Imagine – traveling through dimensions by riding accelerated positrons attached to Higgs Coxswains!” Twilight shuffled in place, blinking at her quarry before setting her eyes to a thoughtful squint. “But coupling the two is exactly what creates the portal to E...” She caught herself. “Um, other dimensions, in highly-theoretical research.” “Sure, sure,” though Discord waved dismissively with the words. “Any twat can sit in a lab and ‘theorize.’ The point is that it’s not possible to bind the two for more than an instant.” “To the extent of our knowledge, yes.” Twilight gave a competitive smile, warming to the subject and wondering just why the Equestrian portal was so stable. Magic, no doubt. She went on, justifying her long nights into the subject. “But that’s just the current limits of science. It’s entirely possible we’ll discover a way to hold them together indefinitely.” “Theories are worth their weight in gold,” Discord sniffed. “The very nature of positrons and Higgs Coxswains drives them apart instantly, it’s like me and my ex-wife. Sure, they can be together for an instant, but you would have to freeze time to keep them so! Equally impossible.” Twilight bristled, but smirked and pushed up her glasses. “Only our perception of time is linear. If one could create a perfectly chilled, electronically-neutral vacuum environment, one can easily replicate the effect of...” She gagged on the words, bright eyes staring past Discord to the scientific vistas beyond. She tarried a precious few seconds, struck dumb from it all, before the urgent inspiration rallied her brain to action. Trembling fingers ripped her notebook from its pack and began filling the pages with words and equations. She never saw when Discord left the bus, or when it passed by her house. Had anyone noticed Wallflower follow Discord home (they didn’t), they would have seen mud-brown eyes shining with determination, and petite fists closed as she strode purposefully to their destination. This was her moment to shine – a thing no one else could ever get away with. Experience at the Hailgrogar house had upended her worldview. She had saved lives. Her forgettable nature wasn’t a curse or side-effect, it was a superpower. The house in question was an elder thing, built at the turn of last century or before. High, pointed roofs and concrete steps lead to a wide, decaying building that may have seemed haunted if not for the pink and orange polka-dots painted on the outside. Discord bounded up the stairs, singing snatches of some rhyming tune. Wallflower scurried behind, slipping in as he came to the wood-paneled interior. Strange, that Discord didn’t close the outside door. He all but skipped to his kitchen, leaving Wallflower to step –And skid, flinging one foot skywards. The offending banana peel shot from beneath, sending Wallflower painfully onto her butt. A screech went out before she could contain it. She froze, but Discord’s song continued without pause. “Smash the window, take the jewels, rise of Tirek, end of rules...” Satisfied she wasn’t heard, Wallflower gingerly rose to her feet. She shook her head, cheeks puffed slightly with residual determination, and walked fearlessly into the kitchen. Discord took no notice – good. He reclined in a dining room chair, reading a book while idly tossing a small, clinking cloth bag up and down. Just as Wallflower entered the dining room, Discord’s hand slipped. The bag clattered to the floor followed by an anguished cry. “My marbles!” Wallflower was already putting her foot down when the commotion began. She slipped as marbles inevitably found their way beneath, launching herself back into the kitchen as Discord began hurriedly chasing his lost marbles. At least he wouldn’t accidentally touch her with how far away she fell. ...Still hurt, though. Wallflower gave herself a little breather before rising. No problem. Just some bad luck, and a careless target. There was a whole house to explore, safely away from Discord. Wallflower departed the first rooms. The old professor never looked up from his book as Wallflower made her rounds, passing the minutes with cries, thumps, snaps, and splashes. Pantry? Mousetraps. Bedroom? Dust. So much dust. Bathroom? Soap bars on the ground. Garage? Rake in inconvenient position, followed immediately by bucket full of water on unstable high shelf. Determination morphed to Apple-worthy stubbornness as Wallflower refused to accept defeat. She finally arrived at stairs leading downwards and smiled darkly. If there was anything truly to be found, it would be in the basement. No lights. She stepped down gingerly, carefully testing every stair before adding her weight. Twelve steps later her feet met concrete, though still no sign of light. She fumbled along the wall, smiling again as her fingers brushed a plastic switch, then flicked it upwards. Wallflower had forgotten to close her eyes. She squinted in the sudden glare, peering through it to find herself in an unadorned concrete basement. Nothing down here but a few odds and ends... and probably upwards of a hundred rats. They appeared similarly stunned by the light, silent and squinting for a moment before turning as one to face Wallflower. No one heard the scream, or the rapid thumps as a small green girl ran pell-mell up the stairs and past Discord. No one saw as she tore through the open front door and off the property. The wind from her passing rustled the pages of Discord’s book, and he wondered aloud if he left a window open. It was perhaps a more frustrated than wise Sunset Shimmer who threw herself by Discord’s seat on the bus next morning. Her first “hunt” as something of a leader had not gone the way intended. Last night’s sleep was delayed with comforting bruised or insulted comrades (weirdly excepting Twilight, who was absent save for one-word texts) and pondering what Miss Harshwhinny would say if she knew. “Hi, Mister Discord.” Her frozen tone provoked a sunny one as Discord folded down his newspaper. “Good morning, Miss Shimmer! I didn’t know you took this route.” “Not usually,” Sunset grumbled, glancing around the empty bus. Then she pressed. “Don’t think I didn’t catch that you gave my friends the runaround yesterday.” The words earned a snaggle-tooth smile that could not have looked less innocent. “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice. Quite a lot on my plate these days, rats in the house and all.” “I can’t prove much,” Sunset tersely admitted. “And to be honest, if you’re what I think you are I don’t know if I could do anything. I just want to know if you’re a threat. If I should be worried. If you have some kind of… evil plan.” “Firstly!” Discord snapped a finger and pointed upwards. “If you think I am some kind of – let’s come out and say it – ‘monster’… well, firstly-firstly, that’s stupid, secondly-firstly you’re a naive enthusiast indeed if you think showing your cards to some beast who might eat you is a good move. First time on your own, I’d guess?” Sunset smiled grimly. “Cutting and accurate.” Discord shrugged. “Simple inference by my superior intellect. Now secondly… secondly? Whatever, you asked me about a plan, and I ask you if I actually resemble someone who has a plan? If my propensity was to follow any kind of logical course, I assure you a career in education would not have been involved.” He cut off Sunset’s response with a loud rustle of the newspaper, flashing its third page before her. “Come now, since you are so enamored with such topics, have a look at yesterday’s article in the Bankrupt Collegian – ‘girl claims to have been attacked by werewolf,’ hm!” Sunset glared at the article, then her eyes shot wide. “Sour Sweet?” Discord continued without pause. “Ate her dog, so she says, ha! Another rich modern type who suffered the worst parental abuse in existence by being sheltered throughout her childhood, now thrust uncomfortably into the present and desperate to once more be the center of attention. Some such types prowl in fast cars, some write fanfiction, and this one appears to be a sensationalist pity-seeker. Doubtless we’ll see her again in a year when a classmate looks at her and she sues him for harassment.” He tossed her the still-open paper. Sunset fumbled with it, pulling down the page two seconds later to find Discord gone from his seat. He stood several paces away, at the bus exit. Not an impossible distance. The bus stopped. Discord tipped his hat, though the charm had drained from his face. “Class is about to start. By all means, skip it. Half the roster does. Call this an extra credit assignment: are there werewolves? Is the girl telling the truth? Or am I just trying to get rid of you? Your effort to play Scooby Doo with me was fun for a while. I enjoy comedy, I really do, but repetition is the death of humor.”