“Where the hell am I?” Jack mumbled to himself. He looked around and saw a familiar face. “Superman? What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question.” Superman answered.
“What do you mean?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well you’re the one who has no business floating a thousand feet in the air.”
“What?” Jack looked down only to see that there was no ground beneath his feet. It was about this time that gravity decided to reassert itself. Jack plummeted toward the ground at high speed, screaming all the way. The ground approached at maximum velocity. He continued screaming in terror as the end zoomed up the meet him…
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOoooooooooohhhhhh I was asleep…” Jack realized, feeling a bit silly. Just the same, something felt wrong. “Why do I feel like I’m dangling?” He rubbed the bleariness out of his eyes and looked around. “Mountain sides?” He looked down, his eyes widened. “Cliff side?” He muttered. Something suddenly occurred to him. Feeling as though he should know better, Jack ventured a peek towards the ground. “OohhhhhhaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” Instead of seeing the ground, or even distant ground, all Jack saw was a dark, black abyss that extended far beyond where his eyes were able to see. “W-w-w-what the fuck!” It took him a bit to realize that he wasn’t falling. He looked up and saw why. Wedged between the canyon walls was a military Humvee, stuck end to end and upside down. Hanging out of the gunner’s hatch was a strap, attached to the strap was the gunner’s harness, and attached to the gunner’s harness was Jack.
“Hey! Is anybody up there?! Hey! …Fuck.” His call for help having failed Jack did the next best thing he could think of, he started to climb. He muttered and cursed as he struggled to pull himself up the strap. He had a good 50 pounds of gear weighing him down and no way to remove it without taking off the harness that currently prevented him from falling to a no doubt gory and unpleasant death. As he made his way up the strap a metallic groaning began emanating from the inside of the truck. The strap suddenly lurched, making Jack almost lose his grip on it. “Bwadanuagayannn!” He babbled, barely managing to keep hold. Jack slowed the speed of his ascent, not wanting to agitate the strap any more than he already had. “Aaalmost…” Jack reached up for the turret plates, his gloved fingertips barely brushing against the metal. The strap suddenly lurched again, harder than before, followed by the pingy snap of something metal breaking loose. In that instant, Jack pulled himself up and grabbed onto the plate. He held on as tight as he could, ever cognoscente that now the only thing between him and certain death was the hold of his grip. Jack heaved himself up, grabbing onto the handle of the .50 cal. From here he slowly made his way up into the gunner’s hatch finally collapsing back inside the truck, gasping to catch his breath. The Humvee was empty of personnel and the only weapon still inside that he could find was his own rifle, meaning that everyone else had left the truck. Jack wasn’t sure what to make of it. How had the truck ended up in this gorge if no one had been driving it? What was this gorge even doing here for that matter? As far as he knew there were no gorges this deep in their area of patrol. Plenty of mountains sure, but no bottomless pits. He couldn’t even remember what transpired that had led to his current predicament, no doubt the result of a concussion. After suitably resting up Jack searched for the radio, only to find it smashed to pieces, along with every other piece of communication equipment in the truck.
“GodDAMMIT!” Jack yelled in frustration, hurling a chunk of broken radio into the wall. He huffed loudly and considered his next move. Then it occurred to him. He snapped his fingers, getting a dull thud due to his gloves. “Locater beacon.” He hurriedly reached to his side and unzipped the appropriate pouch, pulling out the small IR/GPS beacon and switched it on. “Better put it on the roof so they can see the beacon.” Jack kicked open one of the passenger side doors and clambered onto the top of the wreck, placing it so the IR strobe could be easily seen from a passing aircraft. He carefully sat himself down against the cliff wall. “Nothing to do now but wait, after all,” Jack looked up the sheer, 100 foot cliff, “I ain’t climbin’ that shit.” He took off his helmet and sighed. A smoke, that’s what he needed right now. He pulled one out of his vest and lit it up. He took a heavy drag and let out a puff. Smoking wasn’t normally something you would do when separated from your unit, but seeing as he was in a gorge he didn’t see how it could possibly matter. It was at that moment that Jack heard voices at the top of the gorge. What he didn’t hear was the sound of choppers or Humvees. “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.” He chucked his unfinished cig into the gorge. It was way too soon for this to be a rescue party. Jack sat quietly and listened as the voices got louder. Definitely Pashtu, definitely not good. Jack put out his hand and waved it around mysteriously. “There’s nothing in the gorge, just go home, nothing in the gorge, nothing at all.” He whispered. Just then a head poked out from the cliff top and stared down at Jack, with Jack just staring back. “This is not the airmen you’re looking for, move along.” He said slightly louder, still waving his hand. The head disappeared without a word. “Huh, it worked.” Moments later the head returned, now armed with an AK. “Fuck!” Jack scrambled across the wreck as bullets pinged against the metal around him. He practically swung his way back into the truck and quickly grabbed his M4. He moved to the driver’s side door and put his back up against it. He hooked his feet into the twisted remains of the truck commander’s setup and steeled himself. As soon as he heard a break in the fire he pushed the door open, weapon at the ready. He immediately spotted the perpetrator fumbling to insert a fresh mag, took careful aim, breathed in, and pulled the trigger. His head snapped back and the rest of him slumped to the ground, dead as a doornail. Jack let out a sigh, relaxing a little. Suddenly there was more shouting and dozens of insurgents appeared on the cliff edge, all armed. “Fuck!” Jack reeled himself back in as rounds flew past his head, suddenly wishing he’s kept his helmet on. He was up shit creek now, but he didn’t just have no paddle, he was in a Goddamn paper boat. Rounds of 7.62 continued to collide endlessly with the truck's armored plating, which Jack prayed would hold up. He would never get the chance to make another shot now. All he could do was keep cover and hope for the best. “This couldn’t possibly get any worse.” He muttered to himself.
Then he heard the rocket fire.
Knowing the rocket was coming was a cold comfort since the sound only gave him seconds of advanced warning before it struck the forward portion of the truck. Jack screamed as the explosion rocked the Humvee, shaking it loose of its wedged position and turning on its side. Jack tumbled around, almost falling out of one of the open doors in the process. He fell facing the gunners hatch. He looked and the gun, it was facing upwards, just where he needed it to be. He took position on the gun, praying that it still worked, racked it, and pressed the trigger. The gun thumped to life, sending rounds into the enemy position with deadly force. Blood sprayed as the giant .50 caliber rounds ripped into the mooks not intelligent enough to take cover when the gun began firing. Jack slowed his rate of fire as the enemy disappeared from the cliff edge, still sending up rounds at regular intervals to keep them wise, and hoping that they would decide that one lone airman was not worth the losses that they had incurred. On the other hand, they may now be pissed off and bent on revenge for their fallen comrades. He got his answer when no less than six RPG’s appeared spread out along the cliff top and fired. He knew there was only one way he stood even a ghost of a chance of surviving this.
So he threw himself out of the gunner’s hatch and prayed as the remains of the Humvee turned into a twisted wreck above him and tumbled down into the darkness. He did not scream, only holding his eyes tightly shut, just hoping that his end would be quick and painless. His life flashed briefly before his eyes. Family, friends, they would all eventually move on. The world wouldn’t be concerned with the passing of one airman, but he would be remembered. He did his duty and fought to the last and that was good enough for him.
Jack suddenly felt as though he’d just fallen into a body of water, except he didn’t feel wet. He felt like his decent had slowed to non-lethal. He opened his eyes but it made little difference, the world was just as dark as it had been with them closed. He felt a strange calmness come over him. Was this it? Was this what it felt like to die? Would some angel come to collect him from this black pit and take him to Heaven? At that moment Jack suddenly felt like someone was forcing his body through a strainer and stretching it out into individual strands of spaghetti. The experience wasn’t painful but it still felt rather unpleasant. Seconds later he felt himself being pressed back together.
“What the fuck is going on?!” Jack yelled at no one in particular. It had occurred to him that, despite the strange things that he was sensing in the darkness, he didn’t really FEEL dead. A sudden flash blinded him, forcing his eyes closed. Seconds later he felt himself picking up speed again. “Dammit dammit dammit!” Jack swore, unable to understand just what the hell was going on. He rubbed his eyes and they slowly came back into focus. What he saw was… disconcerting to say the least. Instead of falling into a lightless trench of unknown depth he was now falling through an open sky several thousands of feet in the air. Jack went back to screaming. The fact that he had no idea when the end would come had been mildly comforting, but now he was all too aware of just how fast the ground was approaching. As Jack flailed his way through the air he noticed that, while he was taking breaths for screams, he could hear what sounded like the beating of powerful wings. His fall suddenly slowed down. Jack looked up, wondering what could have possibly transpired this time. What he saw only added to his mounting confusion. Grasping what remained of the gunner’s harness strap was what appeared to some kind of blue cartoon animal with wings and a rainbow colored tail and mane. The animal was struggling to slow Jack’s fall.
“Dun worry, mm, whadrvr yu ar.” It spoke through its clenched teeth. “Ah got ya.”
Jack gawped at the creature. It had spoken. The animal talked. Animals don’t talk. Granted it was a cartoon, but that just raised more questions about how non-sensical this whole situation was. But, just the same, it was saving his life. He was having the weirdest damned day, but at least he was alive.
Then he saw it.
“LOOK OUT!” He yelled, pointing past the flying animal. It looked up and its eyes grew wide. Barreling towards them were the burning remains of Jack’s truck. The creature went into a dive, shooting past Jack, assumedly to pull him out of the wrecks path. It worked a little too well.
When the strap went taught the harness decided it had sustained enough abuse. Several key buckles broke free and Jack came flying out of it, now free falling through the air again.
“GOOOOODAAAAAAAMMIIIIIIIIIT!” Jack screamed as he fell towards the ground faster than ever with his added momentum. Moments later he heard the flapping return. He looked up and saw the creature diving towards him.
“Grab on!” It yelled, reaching out to him. Jack grabbed its forelegs and held on. The creature locked its back legs around his waist and tried to pull out of the dive. Jack could see that the animal was making an incredible effort to pull out, but it was making no headway. He knew there was only one solution. He freed his grip of its forelegs. Its eyes widened. “What the hay do you think you’re doing!?”
“You have to let me go!” He yelled back. “I’m too heavy for you! I really appreciate what you’re doing but we don’t both have to die!”
“NO!” The animal yelled, tightening its back legs around his waist and wrapping its forelegs around his chest. “I won’t give up! Giving up is just so uncool!” The creature tried harder than ever to slow their fall, actually succeeding but only marginally.
Jack looked toward the ground and saw one of the only stokes of luck he’d had all day. A tree. A big, branchy tree right underneath them. A tree they were moments from hitting.
Thinking quickly, Jack grabbed the animal tightly and held it close against his body, positioned hisself between it and the tree, and braced himself. The first couple of branches slowed them down significantly, the thinnest ones being on the top. Then he started hitting the thicker ones. Jack finally fell out of the tree and hit the ground, landing square on his back and knocking the wind out of him with a great gasp. The horrifying experience was finally at an end.
For a moment they both just laid there. Jack was in an unbelievable amount of pain. He had some bad cuts and gashes on his body and he was pretty sure he had some broken and/or fractured bones. He could even be bleeding internally for all he knew.
The creature slowly lifted its head and looked at him worriedly. “Are you okay?” It asked.
Then it occurred to him. “I’m alive.” He said in disbelief.
The animal stood up and walked off a few paces. “You sure are.” It smiled smugly. “Mostly thanks to me I might add.”
“I’m alive!” He said with some added excitement. He started to laugh. The animal joined in. Jack was overjoyed to be alive, so overjoyed that he didn’t notice that something else was falling through the tree. The last thing he saw was his Kevlar helmet falling out of the branches and hitting him right on the head, knocking him out cold. This just wasn’t his day.