//------------------------------// // A particularly loud day // Story: Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash are Dating and Everypony Freaks Out // by BlackM //------------------------------// Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash are Dating and Everypony Freaks Out --- A particularly loud day --- -- - The pegasus zoomed freely over the air of Ponyville. She felt so relieved. Finally, after months of sneaking around and keeping quiet, it felt good to have the secret off of her chest and out in the open. And the best part was, Applejack was totally ok with it! Now that she knew, she could start seeing Macintosh regularly, and they could fool around all they wanted without having to hide. Well, actually, they still had to hide. That’s what they called privacy. And they couldn’t do it whenever they wanted to, both of them still had jobs. And in between family and friends, they’d be too occupied to make it a daily sort of thing. “…” Whatever. The fact that the secret was out meant more windows of opportunity opened up. Now that their friends would know, they would understand when they wanted to sneak away and buck. They’d understand, right? Not like she’d leave in the middle of a picnic because she was a different kind of hungry, except for that one time where she kept her distance away from the blanket to keep her- Her thoughts were interrupted when she nearly blindsided a pegasus during flight. “Oh my gosh! I’m really sorry, Derpy!” she apologized as the pony regained her flight. While the pony was rather known by the other name Ditzy Doo, she was only called Derpy by close friends like Rainbow Dash. It wasn’t exactly okay for others to call her the same name, since the pony was self conscious about her condition. Only those that liked her and acknowledged her past her disability were allowed to call her Derpy. The pony shook her head and turned to her friend, “No worries, Rainbow Dash!” she said with a salute, “It’s usually my own fumbles that get the worst of me.” As she spoke, a scroll slid out of her mailbag and fell. It had a wooden spine to hold it in place while rolled up, so the pony it hit below sounded out an understandable cry of pain. “Ow! Watch it!” “Sorry!” Derpy apologized as she flew down to retrieve the scroll. As Rainbow Dash watched, a thought came to her head. No doubt Applejack would relay the news to the others in order to share the confusion; Applejack still had trouble processing their relationship even after she left. After all, Rainbow Dash was the kind of pony to be rather modest of their relationship, yet at the same time very gloatful. Her pride was telling her to spread the word around, to see the look on their faces twist in sheer confusion at the news. She decided to go with her gut. What harm could it do? “Hey Derpy,” Rainbow Dash said as Derpy floated back up. “Huh?” she responded. “I want to tell you something, some good news that I’d like for you to spread around,” she said as she wrapped an arm around the gray pony. “Uhh, yeah?” Derpy cautiously said. Rainbow Dash was a good friend, but she rarely approached her for things other than helping out with stunts. She had good reason to be afraid; to this day she still didn’t trust hummingbirds. She looked back and forth, making sure no pony was eavesdropping, then silently whispered the news into her ear. Derpy’s expression changed from one of curiosity to one of shock. “No way!” she jumped back, “You and him?!” “Eeyup,” she confirmed in her best attempt to imitate the farmer, “For a week now, too.” She figured going by what they told Applejack was the best option. Anything different, and the news will spread and conflict with each other, creating some…undesirable friction she’d rather not imagine. Ponyville was a small town, and was known to react wildly to exciteable news. “Wow, that’s so awesome,” Derpy said in childish fascination, “How big is he?” Rainbow Dash turned embarrassed, surprised that Derpy would ask such a question out loud, and in public, “Uhh, ahahah, really Derpy?” she dismissed her with a wave of her hoof while laughing nervously, “That’s only for me to know and…well, me and any other pony he had before me but as it stands, just me.” “Oh, sorry,” she apologized then turned happy, “I’m gonna go tell all my friends!” Before she could take off, Rainbow Dash stopped her, “Whoa wait. Hold on there.” “What is it?” she asked. “Don’t tell some ponies. I wanna tell them myself,” the look on their faces when she tells the ‘big’ news was too much to pass up. “Oh, really? Who?” Rainbow Dash smirked. She was going to milk this as much as she could. --- And so, the news begins to spread... --- Pinkie Pie was humming to herself a happy tune as she trotted freely around the bakery. She had a lot to do before the party tonight, but work was always worth it if there was something worth celebrating. She brought the balloons and used streamers out from the closet and loaded into the party cannon, ready for some heavy decorating. “Um, Pinkie?” a voice called out from the kitchen, “I’d hate to interrupt your decorating, but didn’t we already have a party yesterday?” Pinkie looked to see a concerned Mrs. Cake around the corner, just as she was loading the table cloth into her party cannon. “Oh yeah, we did, didn’t we?” Pinkie joyously recalled as she continued loading the cannon, “It was our second ‘Congratulations on losing your third baby tooth’ party. I still can’t believe two foals had to share the same party!” “Pinkie, firstly, it was your idea to let them play the piñata at the same time,” Mrs. Cake reminded in a rare moment of sass, “And secondly, our store can’t sustain consecutive parties in a week. We’ve yet to get the couch washed out after the one from Thursday.” “Hey, I wasn’t the one who let the sickly foal spin their head around the baseball bat. That’s supposed to be done outside,” Pinkie pointed out, then took a moment to observe the still messy abode of the room, “…but, you do have a point.” Mrs. Cake sighed, “Glad to see you understand.” “But Mrs. Cake,” Pinkie said as she began to blindly fill the party cannon with things nearest to her, “I need to throw this party to commemorate some amazing news concerning my friends!” “Please, Pinkie. How special could it be?” Mrs. Cake pleaded as she attempted to understand the party pony’s reason. She rolled her eyes and spoke, “My best friend Rainbow Dash is dating Big Macintosh!” “Really, that’s- Wait what?!” even she seemed amazed at the news, “You mean, the tall, well built brother of Applejack?” “Yeah! The one with the leash! And…” she snuck up to Mrs. Cake and whispered sneakily into her ear, “They’re totally doing it too.” A deep blush appeared over the baker’s face as an image appeared in her head. “So, do you realize how important this party is?” Pinkie beckoned. Mrs. Cake shook her head to regain her bearings, “Uh, yes. I get it now. Although it still isn’t anything worth going through the trouble of celebrating… I mean, it does bring us good business, but we still spend money for the pricey repairs and the cleaning…” “I told you, I’ll do all the baking for it,” Pinkie further begged the baker, “Just, please lemme do this! Just for tonight!” Mrs. Cake hummed in thought, and, for a second, she seemed to be considering letting the party slide. “No.” Pinkie’s smile fell to the floor. “Unless,” she continued, “See if you can’t just throw the party over at Sweet Apple Acres. I’m sure they can spare some farm for the party.” Pinkie picked up her lips from the floor and reattached them to her face, allowing her to gasp at the idea, “That’s a great idea! I’ll bring my party cannon just in case!” As Pinkie went back to stuffing her party cannon, Mrs. Cake returned back to the kitchen, relieved that they won’t have to suffer another one of Pinkie’s wild parties. She was still amazed at the thought of Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh dating, thinking what circumstances would have been needed to allow such a thing to be. It almost reminded her of herself and her husband Mr. Cake, from their old days as young energetic ponies to the chances they took to become the married couple they were. She was happy for them, no doubt, and knew they’d be in for an eventful time together, if it stays that way, not to mention. A little projector in the back of her head began displaying idle thoughts of the two of them getting it on, mirroring her own past sex life with Mr. Cake. Oh he had been so rugged back then, very tall and lean, and she was quite the looker too, so curvy and plump, brimming with beauty… The dough she was kneading slowed down to a trance as she suddenly found it difficult to focus on baking. As she did, she could hear Pinkie Pie towing her party cannon outside. The furnace within her was already burning, and it needed to burn some more. “Oh. Pinkie!” she called out, “Would you mind if you flipped the open sign outside to closed? We, uh, need some time for the rolls to cook properly!” “Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie called out in a singsong voice. She knew she was lying, because she had been reading the entire story, but she let it slide this time, and made a note to drown her brain in sugar to recover. With the party pony gone, Mrs. Cake left the dough and exited the kitchen. From beyond the corner, the surprised cry of Mr. Cake resounded, followed by the falling of clanging pots. --- We...didn't need to see that... --- Ponyville was already seeing some activity, despite it being only nine in the morning. It was a small town, after all, and the locals knew each other well enough to know when stores were open and when ponies were free for time. It was almost clockwork. Customers would arrive just as shops were opening and ponies were meeting up at the exact same time in the usual location, or a different, planned, one. It was hard to believe Ponyville was anything more than stale. Actually, the residents would prefer staleness to the every day heart attack inducing events that plagued the town. It had seen parapsrite swarms, minotaurs, ursa minors, raging dragons, and even a Cerberus once. A closer look at the houses and buildings would reveal scars from those incidents. The citizens were so used to these things, however, that they had become jaded to unanticipated shocks and recover within an hour’s time. Which was why the town and its citizens were enjoying life and living it up, not letting the boredom of repetitiveness take them before the next big surprise. Ponies were greeting each other, passing by open shops and stands, it was simply a beautiful day. Something seemed to be eating a particular unicorn though. “I still don’t get it,” Twilight murmured, “Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh, what’s the connection?” She had come into town from Sweet Apples Acres looking for the pegasus in question, except she hadn’t bothered to look into the sky, believing the ground was a better place to look. “She’s a flyer. She likes action. She can’t sit still for the life of her, and when she does, she’s sleeping,” she listed, “How is Macintosh interested in any of that? It doesn’t make sense…” She took a moment to sit down and think it over. She looked odd the way she did, in the middle of the road on her rump. Twilight hardly spent much time outside of her library at all, so the sight of her idly wasting her time out in the open was a rare event. “Twilight? Is something the matter?” The unicorn turned to see the mayor, creatively named Mayor Mare, looking at her. “Oh, miss Mayor, hi,” she said, getting up, “I just had a lot on my mind, that’s all.” “Oh, good,” the mayor breathed, “I was concerned something was bothering you. I’d hate for you to be stressed out over questionable subjects.” Twilight watched bashfully as the mayor continued her way with her business, “Really? That’s so caring of you.” Mayor Mare turned back with a blank face, “Actually, I just don’t want you casting another spell on any toys again.” The unicorn blushed and retreated into her shoulders, “Oh…you remember that.” “Don’t misjudge me now,” Mayor Mare said, walking on and Twilight following her, “You’ve done a great deal of good for our town. Why, remember you had everything in town checked and fool-proofed for some great disaster you averted? You got the entire town working, and that saved me a lot on tax payer’s money.” Twilight chuckled modestly. She never did tell them what the great disaster was, mostly because she was too embarrassed to reveal that her own compulsiveness caused a paradox in the flow of time itself. “W-Well, better safe than sorry,” the unicorn said with a small smile. “I agree,” the mayor said before walking off back to her own business, “You take care now!” And like that, Twilight was alone to her thoughts again. She still hadn’t figured out the chemistry between Macintosh and Rainbow Dash, she hardly even knew the pegasus had time for a stallion. Then again, there weren’t that many stallions in Ponyville. With what there was available, she could believe that Big Macintosh was the most obvious choice. But there had to be other eligible ponies in town. Right? And then, there was an opportunity. “Wait! Mayor Mare!” Twilight called out, hurrying to catch up with her. The mayor looked back just as the unicorn had arrived, “Oh? What is it, Twilight?” She panted a bit before asking, with a straight face, “Do you have a list of every single stallion living in Ponyville in your documents?” The initial reaction was humor. Mayor Mare laughed to herself, finding it hard to believe that Twilight was having stallion problems. Laughter turned to fear, though, as she realized just what it meant. If Twilight was looking for a stallion, there was a chance of something catastrophic happening. Chances like that were slim, however, but if she had learned anything from governing the town for the past fifteen years, it was to not take chances. “B-Bachelor stallions, right?” Mayor Mare asked, Twilight nodded, “Well, I don’t have an immediate list ready…” “You don’t?” the unicorn’s ears drooped. She had to continue, “B-But we have a list of all the residents living here in Ponyville. You might find the time to organize them and sort them out for a nice mate.” “Really?” she beamed, then realized what the mayor had said, then gasped, “N-No! I’m not looking for a coltfriend!” Mayor Mare blinked and twisted her head, “You’re not?” “No. I just needed to look at the list for something,” Twilight explained. The mayor breathed a sigh of relief, “Phew, I thought something had come up. Like, the princess had invited you to a couple’s ball or something…” “Hey, what’s with all the apprehensiveness?” the unicorn asked. “Twilight, nothing’s just a small problem with you,” Mayor Mare explained bluntly. The unicorn scowled, “That’s not true!” “Is it?” the mayor retorted. Twilight was about to reply, but found herself short of evidence to support her. She did have a habit of inflating problems and blowing them out of proportion, just like back in Canterlot when she accused Cadence of evil. She was right, though, but it was still a terrible moment for her. Thankfully, Twilight’s stomach growled loudly, averting the subject. She hadn’t had breakfast yet, which was why she went to the farm for something to eat. How different would her morning have been had she gone somewhere else? “Oops, uhh, haven’t eaten yet,” the unicorn said sheepishly. The mayor chuckled, “I was just returning from breakfast. Perhaps you should go and get something to eat, if this list can wait.” “Uhh, yes it can,” she answered. Mayor Mare smiled, “Very well then. I’ll see you before lunch. Think you can schedule for then?” “Of course!” Twilight replied, making a mental note to rewrite her entire schedule tomorrow. “Good. See you then,” the mayor said, this time leaving for town hall for certain. The unicorn waved, even though the mare wasn’t looking. It didn’t matter though. She was one step closer to understanding the relationship between Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash. How it was that two completely opposite ponies were able to put aside their differences and sleep in the same bed would soon be revealed to her. ‘…or I could just ask Rainbow Dash,’ she thought. Her stomach growled again. “Breakfast first.” And with that, she trotted on in search of something to eat. --- Everything is still fine and dandy... --- “So, what’s the special occasion?” Rarity said with interest as she scanned the ruler tape. The customer giggled lightly as she stood still, “Well, I’m having dinner with Ponet, an artist from Canterlot,” she said with a slight carefree giggle. “Ooh, an artist?” Rarity cooed while she accurately stuck a pin under the cloth Carrot Top wore, “He sounds familiar.” The Carousel Boutique was having another slow day. Ponyville wasn’t known for its nicely dressed civilians, so there was hardly a niche for a tailor and a designer in the town. The owner, Rarity, spent most of her time designing and making clothes, and had been supporting herself off of the earnings she got from the clothes she sold to Hoity Toity. The orders had boomed recently, since her name had grown in Canterlot thanks to Fancypants, but just yesterday all the orders had been filled, and it looked like there’d be another drought for a while. Her most recent customer, Carrot Top, had stopped by and requested a dress to be made. Rarity was grateful that there’d be something to keep her occupied in the meantime. “He actually moved from Ponyville after he earned enough money selling his paintings,” Carrot Top continued, “We met once at one of Fancypants parties.” “Oh, I’ve been there!” Rarity said with glee, “Can’t believe I missed you there!” “Hehe, I didn’t. Really, you were the best part of the party,” she commented as Rarity continued her work, “And guess what? He came back to Ponyville just to take me out to dinner!” “Ahh, now I see why you came to me for this order,” Rarity said as she drew a few lines on the cloth, “Well, in that case, this sale should benefit the both of us. Therefore, I’ll make your dress absolutely free.” “Whoa, seriously?” Carrot Top said in amazement as she turned to face her, only to have a pin prick her in the rump, “Ow!” “Oh dear, please hold still,” Rarity said as Carrot Top rubbed her sensitive area. “Sorry ‘bout that. But really, for free?” Carrot Top repeated. “Of course, it’ll benefit the both of us if you’re having dinner with a stallion like Ponet,” she said with her usual flair of sophistication, “…that is, you’re having dinner in Canterlot, right?” “Uh, I hope so. Wouldn’t want something this fancy go to waste,” Carrot Top said as she observed the lines that would be the beauty of her dress. As Rarity resumed her work, she spoke openly, “Just so you know, I dated Ponet before.” “Huh? Really?” “Mhm,” The unicorn confirmed with a nod, “Before his call to fame. We had fun while it lasted, but sooner or later he had to get serious with his career. He did teach me a thing or two about colors.” “Huh. I suppose he did more than teach you from the sounds of it,” she said teasingly. Rarity chuckled haughtily, “Ohohoho, honestly Carrot Top. Such things do not leave the bedroom door,” she shot back. Then came to mind the other news she heard earlier that day. And since Carrot Top owned the farm near Sweet Apple Acres, it might have some relevance to the mare. “Say, Carrot Top, have you noticed any…increased activity over at the Apple Farm?” Rarity started. “Huh? Oh, you mean like Rainbow Dash being around there more often?” she noted. “Yes, something like that,” she answered. Figures how Rainbow Dash’s presence in Ponyville went missed when she spent more of her time at the farm than in the town. “Yeah, I have. I sometimes catch her while out in the garden and I don’t see her around as much in Ponyville,” Carrot Top thought, “Guess you were right, though.” “Hm? What do you mean?” she asked. “About her and Applejack,” she said, “It was, like, way back then. You said something like that at one of Pinkie’s parties.” “Oh, did I now?” she replied as beads of sweat began to form. She was suddenly having second thoughts about this. If the mares confronted her about conflicting gossip, somepony could get hurt, and she’d get the brunt of it for starting the whole thing. Oh how much she hated yet loved gossip. No! Can’t think like that. She needed to nip this in the bud before it got too out of control. She had to clear her name now before the news of her and Big Macintosh went local. “Well, I guess it’s only natural. You put two hard heads in one room and friction occurs, if you know what I mean,” Carrot Top said with a sultry gesture. Rarity laughed nervously. She knew exactly what she meant, but she felt guilty about being responsible for a majority of the town thinking like that of her and Applejack. Of course, no one minded, it was personal business and it didn’t concern them, but it’d all come back to her if she didn’t correct them. “Actually, Carrot Top, some new developments have come to light concerning Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said as casually as she could. “Oh, really? Like what?” she asked. “As it turns out, Rainbow Dash did come out to dating an apple pony,” Rarity decided to be subtle, “only, it’s not Applejack.” “Huh. Really? If not her then…” Carrot Top’s face slowly shifted from one of confusion to one of shock, “No way.” “I’m afraid it is,” Rarity nodded delightfully. “No kidding.” “Hard to believe, isn’t it.” “Apple Bloom?!” “Ye- What?!” Rarity questioned aloud. “Isn’t she still in Elementary?” Carrot Top asked. The initial shock had worn off and the unicorn shook her head, “N-No that’s not it. Really Carrot Top, she’s much too young for that,” followed by an afterthought, “…and she’s a filly.” “So then…” Carrot Top hummed, “Gran-” “Not even close.” So if it wasn’t either of them, then it had to be… “Her, and…and, Big Macintosh?!” Rarity sighed contently, glad she figured it out, “Why so surprised?” “Because, I don’t know, I didn’t expect her to be into that,” Carrot Top’s confused face lingered as she thought, “I never thought he’d be able to handle her, either.” “Well, they’ve been able to manage for all this time,” the fashionista said as she took her measurements to the drawing board. “How long have they been going out?” Carrot Top asked. The desire to feed gossip was too much to resist for the unicorn. “Hm, could’ve been for a month or two for all I know,” Rarity shrugged as she walked over and removed the cloth on Carrot Top, “And, according to Pinkie Pie, they’ve been doing plenty of rutting around as well.” Carrot Top hummed to herself as the last of the cloth was removed from her. She was still skeptical of the whole thing and wouldn’t believe it until she saw it herself. Not like she’d need to watch them do it or anything, though she wouldn’t mind. Truth is, she was a little jealous of Rainbow Dash for managing to bed Big Macintosh several times. She’s had her eye on him for quite a while, and the only reason she hadn’t gone to ask him out was because she was more into unicorns. “There’s got to be something more to it,” Carrot Top told herself, “I just can’t see Rainbow Dash being patient enough to deal with Mac, unless they’re only in it for the sex.” Rarity groaned a little hearing this. It was such a naïve reason to believe two ponies couldn’t possibly have a relationship without sex playing a part of it. Then again, she couldn’t say the same for herself, but those dates only lasted a week or two before splitting off for fresh prey. “Or maybe she’s using him as a cover up,” Carrot Top began to wildly speculate, “Yeah. And maybe he’s using her to mask his relationship status so that others can stop hitting on him. It’s genius!” “It’s absurd,” Rarity intervened, “I cannot believe that you would come to such a conclusion, assuming the worst of my friends.” The farmer winced at these words, despite the soft tone Rarity was using, “Well, have you even seen them do it?” “Carrot Top! Such a thing is an invasion of priva-” “I mean, like kissing or holding hooves,” the orange mare decided to turn around her implications in favor of mocking the fashionista. It worked. “Uh, I mean. Yes, I knew that,” Rarity’s coat turned red around her face, “B-but such a thing is still an invasion of privacy.” “So, you haven’t seen them making out?” That wasn’t an unusual question at all. “…no?” the unicorn answered worriedly. “Alright then. Thanks for the measurements,” Carrot Top said as she hopped off the mirrored stage. And just like that, the awkward tension disappeared, to Rarity’s delight. “It was my pleasure. Your dress will be ready in three days,” Rarity said as Carrot Top walked out of her boutique, albeit quietly. When she closed the door, Rarity couldn’t help but feel an ominous chill in the air, like something bad was about to happen. The unicorn, however, chalked it up to a contagion of Pinkie Sense. “I need to stop hanging around Pinkie Pie,” she said to herself as she began work on the dress. --- An old rumor? That doesn't sound too good... --- Big Macintosh heaved the squash onto the cart with a satisfied sigh. He was by his lonesome in the third field from Sweet Apple Acres, where they grew their other produce. After all, they didn’t eat apples all the time, contrary to popular belief. They needed to get their energy and vitamins from elsewhere, and hearty veggies like squash and corn supplied them well, and tasted surprisingly good in an apple broth. He looked back to the bare squash field. It’d need to be plowed and planted again so that they could harvest by summer’s end. He wouldn’t be doing it alone, except that Rainbow Dash needed to go into town to check the weather for the week, to see if the squash season would go uninterrupted. She was taking a bit of time, but he wasn’t concerned. She had friends too, and any side business in town he could excuse since she was still a free spirit, and he’d hate to constrict her time. He sighed blissfully and stretched out his back. Ever since telling Applejack the truth, or what little they decided to tell, it felt like a great weight was lifted from his shoulders, and it wasn’t from the squash he just hauled in. With Rainbow Dash as her openly admitted fillyfriend, he could let loose his romantic side and no longer fear her sister walking over the fields and seeing them nuzzle each other, and not anything sensual beyond that since that was confidential business. He hoped Rainbow Dash would come back soon, though. Work wasn’t as interesting anymore without somepony to flirt with. Oh well, time to haul the squash away and… “Big Macintosh! You have some explainin’ to do!” He looked towards the hill to see Applejack glaring at him from above. She trotted downward in a rather disgruntled pace as Mac patiently waited for her to come within earshot of him. “Well, hey there,” he nonchalantly said, “Set up the bug repellant like you said you would?” “A few months? Seriously?” she ignored her question, “Pinkie Pie told me everything.” That’s when Macintosh lost his calm façade and became nervous. “Whu…what’d she tell you?” he hoped, no, pray it wasn’t what he thought it was, “Whatever it was, it isn’t wise to trust the words of a kooky pony.” “Ah can accept that you’d keep you and Dash a secret, but a few months?!” Applejack ignored him again, “You think Ah can’t handle you buckin’ my best friend behind my back?!” He winced. Yep, she told her everything. “Uhh…yes?” “Well shame on you!” she huffed angrily, “Ah am not a little filly anymore. Ah’m an adult and Ah can handle things like that.” Macintosh sighed, though more at himself, “But she’s yer best friend, and Ah didn’t want to make you upset.” “She’s an adult too!” Applejack pointed out, “And Ah’m already upset that Ah had to find out what it is you and her’s been doin’ and for how long! You think Ah’m not grown up enough to handle the truth?” Macintosh blinked. “But…yer havin’ a fit now.” “Wha? No Ah ain’t.” “Yes you is.” “Ah said, no Ah ain’t.” “Yes you is. Yer face’s steamin’ like a hot potato.” “Well, only because SOMEPONY’S BEEN BUCKIN’ MY BEST FRIEND FOR THE LAST COUPLE O’ MONTHS!” Mac took a moment to look around to see if anypony was watching, even though they were on a private section of the farm close to Whitetail Woods. It was just for a mental break from facing Applejack’s wrath, however fruitless it may be. “See? Upset?” Applejack was about to shout again before she decided to take a quick deep breath. “It’s not that you and Rainbow Dash have an intimate relationship that bothers me. Really, Ah’m happy for you two,” she was calming down, “But what hurts me is that you had to hide it from me. Ah am not some precious filly with tender feelin’s. Ah’m a grown mare too, and Ah can understand what two ponies can have. Ah mean, Ah didn’t think Rainbow Dash was the type to go for farmers. Ah mean, Ah had my suspicions but it wasn’t you. I actually thought…” Mac raised an eyebrow as she trailed off. “Well, let’s just say that rumor Rarity started holds no ground anymore,” she waved her hoof for emphasis, “Now, Ah want you to apologize.” “For what?” Applejack glared, “Ohh. Uh, Ah’m sorry Ah kept it a secret from you.” “There. That’s all ya had to do,” Applejack replied, pleased. “Because Ah thought you’d be freakin’ out over us an' everythin’.” “Oh, Ah already did.” “And that you might’ve been jealous of us.” “Well that’s- What’d you say?” “N-nothin’!” He didn’t want to start another Applejack tirade, “Nothin’ at all.” “Yeah that’s what Ah thought,” she said as she walked away, “Get to work on the trees on the border of the farm. You can plow this field when Rainbow Dash comes back. And there’d better not be any funny business while Ah’m watchin’.” Pinkie Pie came to mind. How was it that she knew what he and Dash had been doing for the past months? Was she watching? That was a disturbing thought. No more doing it in the open. “Ah wouldn’t dream of it,” he said with a slight shiver. --- Well, that argument went down calmer than expected... --- “Now where could she be?” she asked out loud as she trotted through town. Having had a good breakfast, Twilight Sparkle had set out to find her pegasus friend Rainbow Dash. She had taken her time eating and it was now just about ten, so she was slightly worried that she wouldn’t find her in town at this time. Weather management wasn’t exactly time consuming, especially for a pony as quick as Rainbow Dash, so she was either here, or back at the farm with…Macintosh. Luckily, however, Twilight didn’t have to go far. She caught her rainbow trail, thinning out the number of clouds for the summer. She could already feel the heat waves creeping in, so having a discussion in the open sun wasn’t an appealing thought. They’d have to have their conversation somwhere private. “Rainbow Dash!” the unicorn called out. The pegasus quickly noticed, but took the time to obliterate two more before descending down to meet her friend. “Hey Twilight, good morning and all that,” Rainbow Dash greeted. “Hey, good morning,” she put on her best smile, but it was clearly strained. The flyer didn’t seem to notice, “Umm, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” “Oh really? What is it?” Rainbow Dash asked, closing her wings. Twilight started, but found the light of the sun and its heat bothersome, “Can we speak in private? It’s kind of important.” “Oh, sure. The library?” her wings opened up, ready to take flight. “No, I wanna settle th- I mean, discuss it now,” she replied, trotting towards the nearest alley. She beckoned for her to follow, and Rainbow Dash complied, though not unnerved at the thought of being pulled into a cramped alley for a ‘talk’, whatever it was. “Soooo, what’s up? And can we make this quick?” she asked, not liking the dark and closed space. Twilight wanted to get straight to the point, but she feared of being misunderstoond. Plus, Rainbow Dash wasn’t exactly bright. “Well, the thing is,” the unicorn started, “I heard the news, about you and Big Macintosh.” Her feathers ruffled a bit before responding, “You did? Wow, news travels fast in this town.” She had only just told Thunderlane and Cloud Chaser half an hour ago, and Derpy too. She knew Twilight would have heard, but not so soon, considering how often she spent indoors. Twilight nodded, “Yeah, and quite frankly, I’m a bit surprised. You and him, so very different yet so much alike…” The pegasus rubbed the back of her head, “Well, not that much alike. I mean, he’s strong but he’s no athlete. Don’t get me wrong, though. He more than makes up for his lack of speed, if you know what I mean,” she said with a raised shoulder and elbow and a sideways turned wink. Twilight winced, but otherwise managed to give a somewhat convincing chuckle in response, “Ahem, well. I suppose you aren’t too worried about a lack of common interests then,” she gave her a wishful smile, “I don’t suppose Mac is into sports or anything?” Rainbow Dash sat down and placed her chin on her wrist in thought, “I think he played a bit of hoofball way back in high school, but nothing major,” she shrugged, “Although, I don’t mind that we don’t share a lot of interests. Not like we need that stuff to be happ-” “Of course you do!” Twilight suddenly blurted out, “How do you two expect to share any form of delight without something that intruiges you both?!” The pegasus had leaned back as far as she could from the unicorn, knowing how familiar this was. After the unicorn realized what she had just said, she reeled back, cleared her throat, and allowed the pegasus to sit upright in order to reply. “Uhhh, we don’t really…” she tried to explain, “Have a lot of interests. I mean, I’m into the Wonderbolts. I like flying, and racing. That’s about it. And Mac’s all like, humbleness, apples, family, apples, and more apples.” Twilight blinked in realization. Of course, the reason she couldn’t think of any interests they shared was because they had so little. Technically, having a lack of interest was a trait they both shared, so they were easy to blend together. And plus, the two of them were open minded, so they were likely to find more interests that they could share, moreso given how different they were. Too different. How could this have started, still? “Sooo, what is it you two do together, then?” she asked. Rainbow Dash chuckled, “I don’t think you need to know that.” ‘I knew it.’ “Really?” she inched closer, “Sounds to me like some risky business goes on behind closed doors with you two.” Suddenly, the pegasus felt her presence was violated, “Uhh, my business is always risky. I’m a daredevil, remember?” The sound of a hoof hitting it’s owner in the face was heard in the alley. “That’s not what I meant,” Twilight said as she removed her hoof from her face, “I mean, like, things that only two ponies can do, that they don’t want others to see.” Rainbow Dash took a moment to try to figure out what she was trying to convey. “Is it that one thing where one pony saws the other one in half in a magic box?” she asked. Twilight used two hooves this time. “Sex! I’m talking about sex!” she nearly shouted, though that did not stop the words from echoing all over the alley, “Intercouse! Mounting! Rutting the hay!” The pegasus settled her hooves down from her ears, “Geez, a little loud there, don’cha think?” Twilight breathed a bit, “Sorry about that,” then she cleared her throat, “But seriously, have you really been only bucking around this whole time?” Rainbow Dash raised a brow at her friend, “Isn’t that a bit personal, Twilight? My sex life is my personal business.” That was true, she had to admit, “Okay, sorry for asking,” she replied, looking away with her ears and head down. “I think I understand, though,” the pegasus said, surprisingly. “Wait, you do?” could it be that Rainbow Dash had caught on to her concern? She was keener than she gave her credit for. She nodded, “I had a feeling, but it’s nothing to throw a fit about,” Rainbow Dash wrapped an arm around her friend, “But if you ever need tips on how to please a stallion, all you had to do was-” “Wait, what?!” she exclaimed, breaking from the pegasi’s grip, “I wasn’t asking about sex tips!” “You weren’t?” her friend replied, “But you wanted to talk in private and all.” “Yes, I did. But not for that!” Twilight defended herself. Rainbow Dash nonchalantly folded both hooves behind her head, “You’ve got a point. An egghead like you would have turned to books first for that kind of stuff. I mean, you don’t really get out much, so you’d really need that kind of advice.” The unicorn was trying to decide between shouting obscenities at her friend for such underwhelming thoughts of her and aggressively stating just how easy it would be for her to get a stallion to date. However, because Mayor Mare had assumed the same thing earlier, it was a bit difficult to go with either one. “Why does everypony think I need to get mounted?!” she shouted. “Probably because-” the pegasus tried to explain, but the unicorn interrupted her. “Don’t answer that!” she had heard of it too many times from her family and friends, but clearly such issues she could not escape from even in Ponyville. After a moment of silence, Rainbow Dash grew restless, “Sooo, are we done here?” Twilight snapped out of her vengeful thoughts, “No, wait. I needed to ask you something else about Big Macintosh.” “Wait, you’re dating Big Macintosh?” The two ponies realized that they were not alone. A quick look around revealed that both exits had been blocked off by a sudden crowd of mares. “Whoa, how long have they been there?” Rainbow Dash asked. “We just heard somepony shouting SEX and we had to come and see,” a green unicorn with a lyre mark casually answered. An orange pony with carrots for a cutie mark approached them, “So, are you really dating Big Macintosh?” “Of course!” the pegasus proclaimed proudly, chest puffed and wings flared, “Ponyville’s fastest flyer dating the strongest stallion! How’s that for a headline?” “Rainbow Dash, humility,” Twilight sternly reminded her, hoping that she didn’t forget Mare-Do-Well yet. It seemed to work, as the pegasus’s wings dropped and her head lowered a bit. However, that didn’t stop the crowd from asking questions. “How long have you two been dating?” Carrot Top asked. Once again, Rainbow Dash decided to go with what they told Applejack that morning, “For about a week now.” “And is Applejack totally ok with that?” another pony asked. “Sure is!” she answered, “Hah! You should’ve seen the look on her face. It’s like her brain stopped working,” she said with a laugh. “Actually, Applejack looked pretty upset this morning when I saw her,” Twilight brought up, “And she said you two have been dating for much longer than that.” Rainbow Dash turned nervous as the crowd began to whisper amongst themselves. “Err, yeah. The thing is-,” she tried to explain, but another pony interrupted. “Rarity said the same thing when I was at her shop,” Carrot Top brought up, “She said it’s been for a month or two.” The crowd talked louder at this. “A month? You lied about the time?” Twilight pressured the pegasus. “Uhh, aheheh, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Rainbow Dash tried to explain, “It really has been a week, I swear!” The unicorn continued, “Applejack heard it from Pinkie Pie, and there’s no reason she’d lie about something like that.” The pegasus continued to try and defend herself, “Wha, seriously? Pinkie’s crazy!” It didn’t seem like any pony believed her, though. Carrot Top spoke again, loud enough to be heard over the crowd, “Rarity said she heard it from Pinkie too! And that you two have been doing some naughty things in private.” At this, the crowd began to close in, each one asking questions. Rainbow Dash found herself being swarmed by ponies, all asking things too private for them to know. “Ahah! So you two have been bucking around! Why hide it from-” Twilight tried to ask, but the other ponies were butting in, each asking their own question. “What does that make you? Mare number fourteen?” a pony with a cherry cutie mark asked. “Wha- Fourteen?!” the pegasus returned, but another pony cut in before she could clarify. “Does he keep that thing on?” another purple unicorn asked. “What kind of question is that?” Rainbow Dash retorted, but another mare spoke up. “Hey, does he really taste like apples?” “What the? Is that all you mares think about?” she replied. And before she could answer that one, another mare intervened. “What does he eat?” “What kind of soap does he use?” “What’s his favorite ice cream flavor?” Soon enough, the questions were starting to mix until they couldn’t be told apart from the askers. “What his favorite TV show?” “His favorite drink?” “Can he dance?” “What does he listen to?” “His favorite book?” “Does he shave?” “Favorite rock star?” “Is he really smart?” “Does he have a talking disorder?” “Is that a yoke or a neckbrace?” “How long?” “Does he shower?” “Like, is it glued on or something?” “Is he a natural red?” “What’s his favorite ask blog?” “Does he go ‘taste the rainbow’ everytime he-” “ENOUGH!” Twilight shouted, and every pony instantly backed off in fear of being caught in some magical energy, “Nopony badgers my friends with bothersome questions but me!” The unicorn then turned to Rainbow Dash, who had curled into a fetal position on her back during the onslaught of questions. Her horn sparked wildly, fueled by emotion as she spoke, “Because friendship is magic!” Everypony was silent as Twilight’s magic began to calm down. The sparks dwindled to a hum as the veil of magic disappeared. “Now, we’re going to get some answers from you,” the unicorn pressured her, “Why keep such a thing secret? Why lie to us about the time? And why lie to your friends about it?” Rainbow Dash shook her head and came back to reality, “I…I didn’t…” She then recalled that it was Pinkie Pie that revealed the time to her friends and, inadvertently, the entire town. That pony knew just about everything that went on in the town, even the most elusive gossip didn’t escape her. But how was it that Pinkie Pie knew about them and for how long they had been seeing each other? Could it be that Pinkie had been spying on them this entire time? That meant she knew everything the entire time, but why reveal it to her friends now? Oh yeah, they had just announced that they were officially dating. This was not good. “Sooo, what is it? A week, or a month?” the orange mare asked. “And why all the secrecy?” Twilight pressed. Rainbow Dash didn’t know what to do. Right now it seemed like their little white lie had just inflated into something out of control and the entire town seemed to be against her. She thought a harmless little lie would keep Applejack from blowing her top off completely about the news, but it had only spurred a different kind of problem altogether, an unexpected one. There was only one pony she knew who would know how to fix this problem. “Umm, I’ll get back to you on that, Twilight. Gotta dash!” she said quickly before rocketing out of the alleyway. The crowd and Twilight watched her trail disappear in the sky. It looked like Twilight’s suspicions were true. The way she tried to cover up her lies, going so far as to call out Pinkie’s delusional nature as a way of convincing them she was telling the truth. Not that Twilight wouldn’t believe her; she was one kooky pony. But that didn’t deviate from the fact that she had been lying about her relationship with Big Macintosh. What made her want to hide it from her friends so badly? “She’s hiding something, alright,” Twilight said, the other ponies nodding in agreement.