A year passed, many things happened during that time and Jay met a lot of new ponies. Of course, ponies who didn't know who he was and what he was capable of were quickly made aware of the lack of filter separating his thoughts from his actions.
He made plenty of friends, thanks to the help of Twilight and Strawberry and the rest of his Ponyville... friends. Or associates, as they would prefer to be called.
One of these associates was currently locked in a staring contest with the said human. Twilight sighed, then cleared her throat.
"Will you two do anything else than glare at each other? You've been like this ever since we left Canterlot..."
Jay's frown deepened. “No. She started it and I won't stop until she apologizes.”
Starlight growled. “I told you, I won't apologize for saying that.”
Twilight tilted her head to the left. “Saying what?”
Jay gritted his teeth and his glare was renewed. “She fuckin' said that using a thimble as a connector was a bad idea! It worked and that's what matters!”
“And I also said that the magic energy required for a... thimble to be properly connected is through the roof!” Starlight said, leaning toward the human. Since Jay was not a person to ever back away from a challenge, he parroted her movements.
“You're just jealous that you didn't think of this first!”
“Am not!”
“Is too!”
“Am not!”
“Is too!”
Twilight groaned once again in frustration and facehoofed. Her horn sparked to life and a small bubble formed between the human and unicorn opposite from her that quickly grew and separated them.
“That's enough from you two,” Her eyes narrowed. “We're in Ponyville in an hour and I'd appreciate some peace and quiet.”
Jay and Starlight turned away from each other with arms crossed and huffs from both of them. Twilight sighed in relief as silence finally reigned in the cart and she was able to rest her eyes for a while.
“Twilight, Starlight is on my side of the seat!” Jay complained.
"What? No, I'm not!" Starlight Glimmer looked down at the seat and was greeted by Jay poking her on the snout.
“Ow! Twilight, Jay hit me!” She covered her snout with a groan. Jay cackled at her reaction.
Twilight's eyes snapped open, bloodshot and an unsettling glare was pointed at the two.
The train screeched to a halt at the Ponyville station, kicking up a great cloud of dust. Spike got up from his seat on the bench and stretched with a yawn. Strawberry walked up to him as the doors to the train opened.
Jay came waltzing out, whistling a jolly tune as a razzled Twilight and Starlight followed him, both with glares pointed at the human.
“Twilight! What happened?!” Spike asked, waddling toward his sister.
"Jay got into the food cart and decided to start a food fight." Twilight grumbled. At the mention of his name, Jay gave them a thumbs up and a giant shit-eating grin.
“Yup,” Jay giggled. “come on, we gotta get out of here before any guards show up!” Jay started walking away at a brisk pace away from the station, Strawberry struggling to keep up with him.
He stopped and turned around, shooting a worried glance at her. “Hey, are you okay? Any problems when I was gone?”
“Oh no, I'm fine...” She smiled as she caught up to him and nuzzled him. “Someone has just been kicking up a storm and causing problems...”
Ah yes, the result of what Jay had come to call 'The Three Ah's.'
Jay woke up one morning after spending a day with Spike and a zebra pony he forgot the name of in the Everfree forest. Once there, he had tripped and fallen in a patch of strange blue flowers.
Of course, Spike and Zecora had urged him to leave as a prolonged effect would prove to be bad for him. Jay's answer was something that was worthy to be put in a history book.
“What, these stupid flowers? Watch this!” He said after he snatched up a few and took a great big bite of them and continued to make fun of ponies for eating flowers.
Jay rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He felt something fuzzy against his face but chalked it down to falling asleep wearing his hoodie again. He rolled out of bed and instead of landing on his feet, he fell to the floor face first.
He groaned, now fully jarred awake and turned his head slightly. In the corner of his eyes, he saw a mirror and what he saw made ice form in his chest.
He was now a stallion. Temporarily.
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!”
That was the first 'Ah.'
The second reaction came from Strawberry as she rushed up the stairs to their shared bedroom and kicked the door open, only to see a strange stallion wearing Jay's t-shirt. The stallion was a chestnut brown and his mane was a few shades darker.
She was about to scream until she noticed the hazel eyes on the stallion and the tattoo on his right shoulder.
“...Jay?” Her face grew red instantly.
“Yeah, it's me...” Jay groaned as he rose to shaky hooves.
“H-how did this h-happen?” She had to tear her eyes away from the strained muscle on the stallion before her as Jay was attempting to stand still.
“Poison joke. Lots of it.” He coughed. “I um... Also took a bite out of it as a joke...”
Strawberry pursed her lips. “Ah.”
The third reaction was a bit later after Strawberry had given him a crash course on walking as a pony and other basic things. After reassuring him several times over that it was only temporary and that there was a cure, they managed to continue their day as normal.
At least until that evening.
Jay leaned back on the bed, his hooves beneath his head and a pleased smile on his face. An unlit cigarette hung limply in the corner of his mouth. Strawberry let out a drunken giggle and nuzzled further into his chest. Her mane was a frazzled mess but she couldn't care less about it at this moment.
“Aah...” She sighed.
“Good thing I'm not a pony, or else we would be parents by now.” Jay chuckled and closed his eyes.
A few seconds later, two sets of very wide eyes shot open in alarm.
“So, have you heard anything new from the doc today then?” Jay asked as they walked slowly side-by-side through the town.
Strawberry shook her head. “Not really, she's developing well from what we could see.”
Jay's eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks. “She?”
Strawberry giggled. “It's a little unicorn filly, they were finally able to tell!”
“Holy fuck...” Jay breathed out. “Holy fuck! Hey, Twilight and bootleg Twilight!”
“I'm not a bucking bootleg version of her!” Starlight yelled at him.
“I don't care! Listen, it's a girl!” Jay started hopping in place. “I'm gonna be a dad to a little girl, Twilight! You owe me a hundred bits!”
Strawberry raised a hoof and held it to his thigh. "Calm down, Jay... Let's go home, I'm starting to get tired." He immediately stopped and looked down at her with a frown.
Without warning, he turned to her and picked her up. An alarmed squeak came from her and she held him in a death grip.
“Jay, let me down!”
“No, you're tired.”
“I'm not tired anymore!”
And that's how it ended, he might be bad company to some, but to the ones who matter for him he's a pretty okay guy. Most of the time.
Sometimes.
Well, it's the thought that counts...