I woke up the next day feeling well-rested and pain-free. Apparently, between being transformed and professionally massaged, my body had healed up quite well. I just laid there enjoying the lazy contentment of relaxing in a comfortable bed. Steady ought to be along soon to get me ready for breakfast. No rush to get out of bed…
My eyes sprang wide open. Steady was in Canterlot, just as I was supposed to be! How could I have forgotten that? I scrambled out of bed, ignored the fact that I fell on my nose again, and hastily dressed myself. Trixie was going to be pissed! Perhaps I could catch the next train and be in time for the afternoon session? That was before I spotted the clock by my bedside which could have woken me early if I had only thought to set the alarm. It showed 9:42 on the dial. I had slept in late too?! I groaned before grabbing my belongings and hurtled downstairs, tucked and rolled at the bottom and came to a creditable upright stop in front of the counter in the foyer, gave the startled mare at the desk the key to my room, checked out of the hotel, and headed out to the station. I moved at my best trot – I hadn’t mastered galloping in my own body yet – only to hear the train whistle and pull out of the station. I stumbled to a halt, panting and cursing my luck.
From what I remembered of the schedule, there wouldn’t be another train for a couple of hours. Ponyville simply was not big enough to justify a more frequent service at this time of day. I sighed and considered my options, but there weren’t many. First, I needed to let Trixie know that I would be delayed. Then I had to figure out what to tell her when she asked why I was tardy. Explaining that I was transformed into a copy of Celestia and spent an afternoon under the influence of poison joke would satisfy most, but the Great and Skeptical Princess would be less than impressed. “The show must go on!” she once had told me. I wonder what the nobles or the petitioners would have thought of “Celestia” sitting by Trixie’s throne as the unicorn held court? I snorted at the image that conjured up. I briefly considered doing that just for laughs, but then I realized it would be foolhardy to expect the magic of the Everfree Forest to do exactly the same thing twice.
I shook my head and reminded myself to be serious. I turned and headed for the library. Perhaps Spike could send a message to Trixie by dragonfire and ameliorate the situation? Better than doing nothing, I suppose. My stomach gurgled and I frowned. How could I be hungry after all the cake and pastries that I had gorged on yesterday with my bottomless appetite? Did they all just evaporate when I changed back into a pegasus stallion? My belly rumbled again. Maybe Spike would have pity on me and cook something up after sending the letter? I could do him a favor later – perhaps getting those comics in Canterlot that he was so fond of?
I entered the tree library without knocking – it was open at this hour, so I’d look silly doing so. Luckily, I found Spike re-shelving some books. He looked at me with a bit of surprise.
“Hey, dude, I thought you were going back to Canterlot?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m supposed to be there now. Between yesterday’s events and sleeping in late, that’s not going to happen. Can you send a letter to Trixie for me?”
“Sure, but don’t expect a reply. Princess Trixie doesn’t know a dragonfire spell like Princess Celestia and Luna do.”
“Maybe that’s for the best. Trixiefire might incinerate the reply.”
Spike laughed. “Ha! I bet you’re right. Let me grab a quill and paper.”
I dictated a note to briefly explain that I was delayed, and Spike sent it on its way in a puff of magic green fire. He then asked, “Would you like some breakfast, Mark?”
“Yes, I sure would, but why would you be making breakfast this late in the morning?”
The small dragon chuckled and replied, “It’s not late if you know Twilight. She often pulls all-nighters and falls asleep at dawn, if at all. She got to bed relatively early last night, and I was planning on waking her soon. Might as well prepare something for you too. I figure you were in too much of a hurry to stop for food.”
“How did you know that?”
“Your vest is on inside-out and your mane has a serious case of bed-head.”
“Oh. Right. Umm… did I leave anything edible here after yesterday…?”
“I went shopping this morning. Thanks for the bits, by the way. I’ve stocked up for the week, providing you don’t go on another binge.”
“Believe me, while it was an interesting experience, once was enough.”
“I hear ya.” Spike set about cooking a substantial breakfast for three people while I set about fixing my appearance. He served up my meal before heading up to Twilight’s bedroom.
The purple unicorn looked half asleep still when she joined me at the table. She downed a mug of coffee before her brain really kicked in and she cocked an eyebrow at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Canterlot by now?”
“Yes.”
She waited briefly for an explanation and then shrugged. “I wouldn’t be in a hurry to get back to her either.”
“Not my fault that I’m still here. Some ponies took me for a night on the town after the spa. I only woke up half an hour ago.”
“Oh. Right. Heh! But we had fun, didn’t we? That’s what good friends do.”
“Yes, Twilight, and I enjoyed myself, but I take my responsibilities seriously too. I had Spike send a note to Trixie to say that I was tardy.”
For some reason, the unicorn shuddered at that. “Say no more. I’ll make sure that you get back to Canterlot as soon as possible. I’m sorry that I can’t teleport you there because it’s too far.”
Just then, Spike belched and a scroll materialized from the resultant flames. Twilight took it in her magic and unrolled it. After glancing at the words, she passed the scroll over to me.
“It’s from Trixie,” she said flatly.
“I thought you said that Trixie didn’t know the dragonfire spell?” I queried Spike.
Twilight answered for him. “Maybe not, but she could always ask someone from the Guild of Mages. Some of them know the spell.”
“Right. Let’s see what she has to say.” I spread the scroll on the table with my hooves stopping it from curling back up again. I read the flowery script and winced.
“What’s it say?” Spike asked curiously.
“It says, ‘To the Grand Vizier Spark Dwells, the Magnificent and Patient Empress Trixie is sore displeased with your failure to present yourself as expected this morning.’ ” I paused to look at my audience. “When she’s in an ‘Empress’ mood, she’s definitely not happy.” I continued reading. “I have dispatched a Royal Guard pegasus chariot to Ponyville. Be on it. Signed, H. M. Trixie Lulamoon.”
“That’s a bit rude,” Twilight commented.
“I promised to be there this morning, so it’s my fault.”
“Still a bit of a curt way to treat her advisor. Not very princess-like.”
I sighed. “Twilight – I know you don’t like Trixie, but give her a chance. She’s not Celestia, but she’s trying hard, believe me. I wouldn’t stick around if I didn’t think she was worth the effort.”
“Or you didn’t want to get thrown out of your cushy room in the palace.”
Now I was irritated. “A week ago, I was stranded in a strange magical land in a body that was completely foreign to me. Trixie gave me someplace to be and a worthwhile job to do. I owe her a lot, but even if she threw me out, I would still have new friends to help me. Heck – Fluttershy even offered to let me crash on her couch last night. But Trixie is not going to abandon me because I know her better than you. Yeah, she’s a work-in-progress, but she cares, and that’s what matters to me, even if her attitude grates occasionally.”
Twilight stared at me for a long moment before her expression changed to one of chagrin. “If you were here back when Nightmare Moon returned, you might have become the Element of Loyalty instead of Rainbow Dash.”
I grinned. “As long as it doesn’t involve flying, I’m your stallion!”
We all laughed at that and finished our meals. Twilight then left to work on whatever her current project was, Spike went back to his book re-shelving, and I went outside to await the arrival of the chariot.
I settled down on the grass in the shade of the library tree. I had little idea how long it would take for the chariot to arrive, but I figured it would be at least half an hour. With nothing to do until then, I just relaxed and watched the world go by. I snorted softly. The world. A totally different one of ponies, griffons, dragons, and magic. Just over a week ago, I didn’t even believe in unicorns and pegasi and now I was one of them. A defective one, perhaps, but still…
I sighed. Did I belong here? The mares had made me feel welcome, especially Pinkie, but the truth was that I had just blundered into this situation and perhaps even made things worse by breaking the mirror portals. And although Twilight was endlessly fascinated by what she learned from me about Earth, I get the feeling that she’d happily trade me to get Celestia back, not to mention Luna. Aside from obscure knowledge from another dimension, what did I really have to offer to these people? My greatest skills were useless in a land where magic supplanted physics in almost every way. And yet, no one wanted to see me leave. What did they see in me? I was just going with the flow and trying to be helpful along the way. Mark Wells was not a moocher.
To get my thoughts from getting too morbid, I tried identifying the ponies who passed by. I quickly came to realize that I knew a surprisingly large number of them, and I put that down to the Pinkie party where I swear I must have been introduced to the whole town at one stage. Despite the blur of faces, I still remembered the names of so many of them. Aside from Twilight and her friends, there were Vinyl Scratch and Octavia – an oddly well-matched pair of musical mares; the postmare Muffins whom everyone nicknamed Derpy which she seemed to accept graciously; her companion Doctor Whooves, a most confounding stallion with a highly coincidental cutie mark; Mayor Mare – who could forget that name? – the spa twins, Aloe and Lotus; Applejack’s brother, Big Macintosh; Bon Bon and Lyra; Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily; the unforgettable Cutie Mark Crusaders; Nurse Redheart and Doctor Horse; Cloud Kicker and various other weather team members; Sea Swirl…
My mind screeched to a halt as I suddenly realized something: I recalled only a few stallions but a great many mares. I looked about me and didn’t even see one stallion at the moment. At the palace, the majority of the staff were female although I was fairly certain most of the Royal Guards were male. It was hard to be sure because their anonymizing magic armor made all the regular Guards look alike, but some had suspiciously feminine voices. Was I imagining things or did these ponies have a serious gender imbalance? So many mares and so few stallions made for a different social dynamic than I was used to. Thinking back on some of the interactions I’d had recently, I began to see some of them in a different light. My bachelor instincts started to kick in and I shuddered.
I don’t know exactly how long I had been daydreaming but my thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.
“There he is!”
I looked up and saw Steady Flight coming in for a landing alongside two Royal Guard pegasi hauling a sky chariot. Apparently, my ride had arrived. I stood up and said, “Hi, Steady.”
“Hi yourself, Mark. What happened? Why are you still here and pissing off Princess Trixie?”
“Long story which I can tell you on the way back.” I approached the Guards and asked, “Do you need to rest for a bit before we go back to Canterlot?”
“No, sir,” one replied in a definitely masculine voice. “We are ready to return immediately.”
It made sense that the pegasi pulling a sky chariot for long distances would be strong males, but the other one didn’t speak, so I wasn’t sure of that fact. Steady had already piled my luggage onto the chariot, and I went to climb aboard. I had seen these used by others but I had not anticipated using one myself. I wasn’t looking forward to it. A week ago though, you could not have dragged me on one with a team of ponies, so I was definitely improving.
“Just a minute, Mark. I’ve got a message for you to deliver to Twilight Sparkle.”
“Huh? Why me?”
“Because you’re the Princess’ right hoof and scapegoat, of course,” the stallion replied, hoofing over a scroll.
“Right. Okay, this should take just a few minutes. She’s still in the library.”
I headed inside and found the mare surrounded by books. Literally. I decided not to ask why and passed her the scroll. “Message from the G&P,” I said simply.
Twilight lifted one eyebrow, shrugged, and unrolled the scroll with her magic. I saw her eyes flick back and forth as she read its contents, and then widen. She then rolled up the scroll once more.
“I have no idea about the contents, so is there an answer that I need to take back?” I asked.
Twilight looked thoughtful before replying, “Trixie has commanded me and my friends to go to the Crystal Empire. Princess Cadance has requested our help in impressing the head of the Equestrian Games Selection Committee. She’s hoping that holding the Games there will help re-establish the city’s fortunes and bring in tourists.”
“Sounds something like Earth’s Olympic Games. There was always quite a lot of competition to be the city to hold them every four years.”
“Then you’ll understand the importance. Tell Trixie that I’ll talk to the others first, but we should be able to go there on the scheduled date.”
I nodded. “Well, that’s my duty done, and now I have to get back to Canterlot as fast as possible. It’s been great visiting, and I hope that we’ll see each other again soon. No colanders though!”
Twilight giggled. “No promises!”
I smiled and waved to Spike as I left. I boarded the chariot and realized that there weren’t any safety harnesses. “How is this supposed to be safe?” I asked Steady.
He merely tapped a rune inscribed on the railing and I felt a gently yielding field surround me. “That’s a restraint spell – you can’t accidentally fall out.”
“That’s reassuring. Aren’t you getting in too?”
“I flew here on my own power and I’ll fly back too. I used to be a long-distance courier, remember?”
“Oh. Right. We’d better get going then. Trixie is going to be mad enough with me as it is, so let’s not dawdle.”
The chariot team took that as their cue to start, and they galloped a few yards before taking off. Damned if it wasn’t like one of the scariest roller coaster rides I’d ever been on. People back home would pay good money for a thrill like this!
Steady drew alongside the chariot and said, “Okay, spill it – how did you get yourself in trouble this time?”
The journey to Canterlot almost wasn’t long enough to tell it all – with some edits, of course.
We arrived during the lunch break and Empress Trixie gave me a flat look from her place at the dining room table. Raven Inkwell stood next to her, her magic rearranging the sheets on her ever-present clipboard. I bowed my head and neck, keeping them low until I heard her intone in her ‘bored’ voice, “Approach, Meadowlark Smells.”
I did so until I stood by her side. She gave me a quizzical look but I chose to say nothing. Eventually, she broke the silence.
“You delivered my note to Miss Sparkle?”
I nodded with a little smirk on my lips.
“She and her friends will go to the Crystal Empire?”
I nodded again. No words required, good.
“You canvased the mood of the townsfolk? And they approve of the rule of Trixie?”
I nodded a third time, though my smirk grew wider.
She narrowed her eyes, obviously displeased with me. That’s fine. I’d just wait her out and she’d speak again. Instead, she held out a hoof. Drat.
I looked back to my saddlebags and took out two items. I handed her my plaque. Trixie’s ears perked forward and Raven whistled.
When Trixie passed it back, I hoofed her a framed photo taken at the Day Spa. It showed the Mane Six gathered around “Celestia”, everyone smiling broadly.
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “And why exactly are you showing me this old photo?”
Raven gasped and pointed her quill at the cutie mark on “Celestia’s” flank. Trixie’s attention was drawn back to the photo and now both eyebrows rose. Her ears actually waggled back and forth for a few seconds. What did that body language mean?
The mares then looked up at me at the same time, both wearing the same amused smile.
“Ponyville?” asked Trixie.
“Ponyville,” I replied.
She smiled broadly. “Welcome to the club.” She handed the photo back to me as she stood up. “I’ll expect a full account of your activities over dinner. But for now, we have Day Court to run.”
“Yes, Your Patient and Forgiving Majesty.”
She lifted her nose as she strode past. “Oh, you aren’t out of hot water yet, Mismark Sells. You have just delayed the hour of your judgement.”
Crap. Looks like I’d have to turn up the entertainment and humor factor this evening. I hoped it wouldn’t come back to haunt me with endless teasing later... who was I kidding? Of course it would.
As Trixie, Raven, and I walked to the throne room, I remembered one detail of the trip that was better brought up now than found out later.
When we were in a section of hallway with no pony to overhear us, I said. “So…Great and Powerful Trixie?”
That earned me a suspicious glance over her shoulder.
“There will be some bills arriving for various damages I caused when I was in Ponyville: specifically to Sugarcube Corner and Sweet Apple Acres.”
She turned away with a sly grin. “As much as it pleases Trixie that you faithfully brought back reports of the townsponies’ positive opinion of Trixie, the Royal Court cannot simply absorb such damages. Your pay will be—”
I thought so. I turned to Raven and cut off the Smug and Powerful Trixie. “So the notes you take are made part of the permanent record of the court and distributed to the local newspapers, right? I want to read into the public record the instructive story of a mare who put on a show at the orphanage of a sleepy little village called Hackamore—”
As Raven’s ears swiveled forwards and her eyes began to sparkle, I was rudely interrupted. “On second thought, the Great and Forgiving Trixie will overlook your carelessness this once.” She stopped and looked at me with a cold stare. “We expect this never to be brought up again.”
I bowed deeply. “As the Generous and Many-Storied Trixie commands.”
She hesitated, then continued down the hallway.
Raven’s hoof kept me from following. She broke into a smile once Trixie had rounded a corner. “Spill it.”
I grinned. “According to the Equestrian Township Grapevine, Trixie’s reputation was such that she was not allowed to perform her show until she completed some community service. During her performance next to the town orphanage, the fireworks at the end of the show went awry and burned the place down.”
Raven put a hoof over her mouth. “Oh no!” The corners of her eyes were pulled upwards though—a dead giveaway that she was smiling.
“Oh yes. Trixie’s wagon was impounded until she finished helping rebuild the orphanage. In those three weeks, she camped outside with the foals, who thought this was the greatest thing ever.”
“Really?”
I grinned. “You know foals. Anything different from the boring normal is awesome, and sleeping outside was just the ticket. Also, Trixie has a special gift with little ones and entertained them every night … maybe because she felt guilty for destroying their house, maybe because she loved the appreciative audience.”
Raven dropped her hoof. “So how did that embarrassing chapter of the Great and Powerful Trixie’s life end?”
I chuckled. “Remember how I said the foals loved having her around? On the last night before construction of the orphanage was completed, they tried to burn it down again.”
Raven laughed so hard she started to cry. Eventually she settled down enough to say, “Let me guess. The townsfolk threw her and her wagon out of town because she was such a bad influence?”
I nodded and started trotting to the throne room. “Come on. Let’s not keep Her Royal Highness waiting.”
Raven caught up. “But now you’ve promised not to use that bit of blackmail material again.”
I thought back to the pages of notes I took during Pinkie’s party. “Oh, don’t worry. There’s plenty more where that came from.”
The afternoon court session went pretty smoothly and it kept my mind occupied. Trixie had royal-commanded me to attend dinner with her that evening, so I knew that I was going to be put through the wringer then. There was one other thing that was on my mind though since that morning, and I finally got the chance to ask Steady as we headed up to my room to freshen up and change before dinner.
“Is it my imagination, or do mares greatly outnumber stallions in Equestria?”
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You don’t remember that? Sheesh! Of course they do. Depending on where you live, there are three or four mares to every stallion.”
“And how do the mares deal with that?”
“Remember what you said about breeding potential on the day we first met?”
“Y-e-s?” I replied, not liking where this was going.
“The mares like to know what they’re competing for in advance.”
I recalled Rarity’s gifts, Fluttershy’s cuddles, Twilight’s fascination, and even Rainbow’s tomboy challenges in a new light. I gulped. Suddenly I longed for the company of the one mare who preferred to watch me crash into things. That seemed to be infinitely less frightening right now.
I didn’t give Trixie a chance to get on her high horse (Okay, I meant that pun!) at dinner. I started by telling her how I had almost died achieving that altitude record. Then, while she was still on the back hoof, I explained how Rainbow Dash had saved me, Zecora had healed me, and how I promptly screwed up again by eating poison joke. I played up the pranks and other craziness that I did as “Celestia”, managing to keep her laughing so much that she forgot all about being mad at me. Of course, I did not breathe a word about Rarity’s fashion parade. That was a private secret between the six mares and me (and perhaps an inquisitive dragon) that I would take to the grave and Trixie would never learn. That reminded me – I had better find a really good hiding spot for those 8 by 10 glossies that Twilight printed for me.
Oh, come on! You don’t think I’d want to relive my most glorious moments? For a brief time, I was a supermodel!
“Look, Mark – I know that the poison joke made a huge difference, but surely you must remember some of what it felt like to fly properly? Just recall that feeling and let it work for you!” Steady exhorted me. Just because Trixie had let me off the hook for my tardiness didn’t mean that she would allow me to shirk my flying lessons.
I just stood there on the balcony with my wings outstretched, trying to do exactly that, but it wasn’t working. “Steady – thanks to Twilight, I won’t be breaking altitude records again, but other than that, I feel no different.”
My friend sighed. “Okay, then we’re back to trying to re-learn the hard way. Maybe without the power surges, you may be able to control yourself better. You did pretty well with the unpowered gliding, after all.”
“You still haven’t shown me how to steer,” I reminded him.
“Oh, right. I’ll never be a proper flight instructor at this rate.”
“Yeah, you make a better valet,” I teased.
He poked his tongue out at me and I smirked back.
“Okay, smartarse, pay attention.” Steady showed me the methods for achieving basic turns and had me rehearse them a few times before he was satisfied. “Okay, let’s see if you can do it while actually flying. Take your position and carefully summon your flight magic.”
I recalled everything that Steady, Rainbow Dash, and even Fluttershy had shown me, and then firmed my will. ‘I can do this!’ I told myself sternly, and then took off over the Royal Gardens.
Half a minute later after madly careening all over the lawns and flower beds, frantically twisting and turning, overcompensating and spinning out of control, I crashed through a copse of trees and felt the vegetation bring me to an abrupt springy halt. My nose suffered not at all and I would have counted that as a victory if I wasn’t being strangled. Vines were looped about my body and my neck in particular, and I wheezed as I tried to call for aid.
“How?! How did you manage to do that?!” Steady Flight exclaimed as he descended through the canopy. “That kind of vine doesn’t even grow in this climate!”
“Less botany, more help,” I choked out.
“And what’s with those crazy turns? Didn’t I tell you to be moderate when angling your wings?” Steady asked as he hovered next to me.
“Still asphyxiating here.”
“I mean, come on! Surely you learned something while you were an alicorn. Don’t glare at me like that!”
“Can’t breathe, idiot!”
Maybe he finally heard me, or perhaps my face was turning blue, but Steady finally realized that I was choking to death while he babbled about his frustrations with me. He unraveled the vine around my neck before helping me get untangled. “How you managed not to kill yourself before your illness, I’ll never know. You have to be the greatest klutz I have ever met.”
I could have let that pass because I was well aware of my clumsiness that had only been highlighted by my perfect coordination as Celestia, but Steady had left one vine looped around my hind leg while freeing my barrel, and as I slipped free, that last vine upended me before releasing me to plummet to the ground… nose first.
I groaned, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”
“Oops! Sorry about that. What was that you said?”
“I said you’re buying again.”
The stallion flinched. “I’m gonna need a raise at this rate.”
That’s what I was afraid of. Flying was for the birds!
The rest of the week was remarkable for being unremarkable. Considering all the weirdness that had happened to me in the first eight days of my arrival in colorful pony land, I considered this a great blessing. Steady Flight even made sure that my lessons were held somewhere without anything harder than a cloud to crash into. I may have made a little progress at last. Practice makes… well… not perfect, but at least it wasn’t painful either.
My first weekend off was basically spent enjoying myself in the city. I even got to see a stage play. I must admit that Roameo and Jeweliette done by ponies is quite fascinating. Just kidding – Steady and I went to some bawdy comedy. I made a return trip to Ponyville the following weekend on the pretext of passing on Trixie’s congratulations for the success of their mission to the Crystal Empire and securing Ms. Harshwhinny’s stamp of approval for the venue of the Equestria Games. Actually, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. Not sure if bringing Steady along with me was a good idea though. On the one hand… or hoof… he deflected attention from me as a potential mate for most of the mares, but on the other, that just left Twilight alone and still wanting to do more tests on me. Oh well, I still got cake. Seems I have quite a craving for it nowadays.
Three uninterrupted weeks of business as usual at the court gave me time to learn more about Equestria and the running of a country, and I had gotten into a comfortable routine. So when Twilight arrived unannounced one afternoon during Day Court, I knew immediately that something serious was going down. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been to Canterlot a few times over the past few weeks; she regularly researched books in the Royal library and made more tests in the portal room. The mare had always avoided confrontations with Trixie though, and definitely stayed out of the throne room. Not today though.
Twilight strode in near the end of the afternoon session, ignoring the sergeant-at-arms who tried to politely do his duty. Trixie waved him off though, and let her rival approach the dais. I could sense Trixie tense up, the barest hint of what I had come to recognize as nervousness that the showmare normally concealed with skill. The way that Twilight kept an unyielding stare at the Princess as she approached only served to increase the tension. I wondered what Twilight was up to as I knew that the unicorn had no intention of rocking the political boat, preferring instead to concentrate her efforts on getting the real princesses back. Yet here she was, obviously on a mission, and wearing a cape of all things. I’d never known her to wear anything before.
Trixie took the initiative and spoke first. “Greetings, my loyal subject. How can the Great and Powerful Trixie help you today?”
Twilight said, “You can get off that throne for starters.” Her horn lit and her cape floated away. From the concealment of the cloak, she lifted wings that matched her purple coat to the gasps of all attending, Empress Trixie and myself included. I noticed, however, that Twilight’s expression was very focused and nowhere near friendly.
Perhaps being the subject of her angry countenance helped Trixie gain her wits back faster than anypony else in the room. She smiled, although I could tell she was anxious. “This is wonderful news, Twilight! Now Equestria can once again have diarchs as—”
“No,” said the purple alicorn flatly.
“No?” repeated Trixie, her brow furrowing.
“No. I will take over as the one and true Princess of Equestria.”
Hooboy!
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