Don't Leave Me With Myself

by Dubs Rewatcher


Three

Rainbow woke with a shuddering groan. She felt hot and sticky with sweat, like she’d been dunked in a vat of warm syrup. She threw off her blanket and stripped off her pajamas, but even that wasn’t enough to cool her off; her bedroom had become a sauna. So much for that cool Autumn weather.

She turned over and smushed her face into the hot pillow (she flipped it over, but found the other side just as warm). She’d been having the weirdest dream—at least, she thought it had been weird. The harder she tried to remember, the farther it drifted from her mind, until it melted into a mess of vague emotions. She’d been angry at someone? Maybe?

With sweat pooling under her, getting back to sleep seemed like an impossibility. Grumbling, she flipped onto her back again and checked her clock to see how much time she had before the alarm went off.

8:13 AM.

Rainbow shrieked and fell out of bed.

Late, late, late—her alarm should have gone off an hour ago. School started in twelve minutes, and CHS was halfway across town, twenty minutes away by foot. Ten if she didn’t stop at crosswalks and managed to avoid being run over. She’d already been late a dozen times that semester, and her academic career was on death’s doorstep.

She ran through the calculations in her head as she zipped around her bedroom, snatching up underwear and deodorant and a shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, which she’d already worn twice that week without washing but whatever it was either be stinky or be dead, so she threw it on and sprinted out of the house. She only smacked into a wall once on the way out.

The trip to school went by in seconds. By the time she made it to CHS, flying through the entrance like a rabid cheetah, she’d shouted enough curses to make a death metal band blush.

Skidding on her heels, she slowed down and pulled out her phone.

8:32.

That meant she’d missed homeroom and the first period bell had already rung, but if she hurried quick, she could make it to class before—

“Miss Dash.”

Her spine iced over. Putting on her best honor student smile, lopsided and toothy, she turned around to face Principal Celestia.

“Uh,” Rainbow managed. “Hey! Happy Thursday?”

Celestia grabbed her by the arm and led her through a doorway, which opened up to Celestia’s office. The two sat, and Rainbow tried to shrink into her seat but couldn’t move.

“This is the fourteenth time you’ve been late,” Celestia said, folding her hands on the desk. “Your attitude about school is disappointing.”

Rainbow couldn’t remember a single time she’d been late before, but the comment hurt all the same. “Sorry,” she said. She didn’t hear her own voice.

“I’m starting to wonder if keeping you around is worth the effort. Everyone is.”

The walls giggled and whispered. Rainbow gulped. “Yes.”

“Leave,” said Celestia. So Rainbow left, covering her face to hide from all the people staring at her, gossiping from the sidelines, guessing on how Rainbow Dash had messed up this time. Everyone knew Rainbow was a screw up.

She felt like she was floating outside herself, watching herself run down the hall, away from everyone who hated her. She felt scared and sad.

Finally, she reached an open door, and stepped outside to find herself on the soccer field. All of her friends stood at the other end, arranged in a circle. She needed to vent to them. They would understand.

But when she got close she discovered what they were all gathered around: Fluttershy’s broken birdhouse. It still had a hole in the side, the size of Rainbow’s fist. Broken wood shards lay among the blades of grass.

Rainbow gasped and zoomed forward, but after four steps her foot sank deep into the ground, as if the dirt were melting gelatin. Pain shot up her joints. With her lower leg twisted hard to one side, she collapsed onto the astroturf. She breathed in fake dirt.

As she writhed in the grass, the soccer field was impossibly long. She opened her mouth and cried out to her friends, who turned, stared, smiled, and walked in the opposite direction.

They disappeared. Rainbow flailed, screamed. Her arms had become fifty pounds heavier—she couldn’t move them without feeling like a baseball bat was being thrust into her ribcage, stealing her breath. She stopped fighting, and tried crying. She couldn’t make any sound.

“Why did you do this?” asked Fluttershy, appearing before her. The birdhouse fell apart in her hands. “Why are you so awful?”

Rainbow tried to reach for Fluttershy, but stayed stuck.

“You’re obnoxious,” Rarity said. “Ugly, vapid, unlikable. All you care about is yourself, and that you look good.”

Twilight appeared next to her. “And stupid. Mean, too. If it wasn’t for your magic, no one would want you around. I don’t want to be friends with you.”

“I don’t either,” said Pinkie.

All Rainbow could do at this point was beat her own head against the ground, trying to knock herself out.

“All you ever do is yell and make jokes,” Applejack said, crossing her arms. “Nobody likes them. We just laugh because we don’t want you to know how much we hate you.”

Sunset stood over her. “You never think before you do anything, do you? And then, when it all blows up in your face, you just expect everybody to forgive you. Worthless.”

“We don’t forgive you,” Fluttershy said. “We’re done with you.”

Rainbow flailed harder, but nothing could block out the voices. Nothing could shield her from the truth: she didn’t deserve to be cared about. She didn’t deserve friends. Not someone as rude and selfish as her.

She opened her eyes, and found herself back in her bedroom.

Rainbow sat up with a shuddering groan. She felt hot and sticky with sweat, like she’d been dunked in a vat of warm syrup. She threw off her blanket and stripped off her pajamas, but even that wasn’t enough to cool her off; her bedroom had become a sauna. So much for that cool Autumn weather.

She turned over and smushed her face into the hot pillow (she flipped it over, but found the other side just as warm). She’d been having the weirdest dream—at least, she thought it had been weird. The harder she tried to remember, the farther it drifted from her mind, until it melted into a mess of vague emotions. She’d been angry at someone? Maybe?

With sweat pooling under her, getting back to sleep seemed like an impossibility. Grumbling, she flipped onto her back again and checked her clock to see how much time she had before the alarm went off.

8:13 AM.

Rainbow shrieked and fell out of bed.

Late, late, late—her alarm should have gone off an hour ago. School started in twelve minutes, and CHS was halfway across town, twenty minutes away by foot. Ten if she didn’t stop at crosswalks and managed to avoid being run over. She’d already been late a dozen times that semester, and her academic career was on death’s doorstep.

She ran through the calculations in her head as she zipped around her bedroom, snatching up underwear and deodorant and a shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, which she’d already worn twice that week without washing but whatever it was either be stinky or be dead, so she threw it on and sprinted out of the house. She only smacked into a wall once on the way out.

The trip to school went by in seconds. By the time she made it to CHS, flying through the entrance like a rabid cheetah, she’d shouted enough curses to make a death metal band blush.

Skidding on her heels, she slowed down and pulled out her phone. 8:32. That meant she’d missed homeroom and the first period bell had already rung, but if she hurried quick, she could make it to class before—

“Miss Dash.”

Her spine iced over. Putting on her best honor student smile, lopsided and toothy, she turned around to face Principal Celestia.

“Uh,” Rainbow managed. “Hey! Happy Thursday?”

Celestia grabbed her by the arm. They stepped through a doorway, which opened up to Celestia’s Office. The two sat, and Rainbow tried to shrink into her seat but couldn’t move.

“This is the fourteenth time you’ve been late,” Celestia said, folding her hands on the desk. “Your attitude about school is disappointing.”

Rainbow couldn’t remember a single time she’d been late before, but the comment hurt all the same. “Sorry,” she said. She didn’t hear her own voice.

“I’m starting to wonder if keeping you around is worth the effort. Everyone is.”

The walls giggled and whispered. Rainbow gulped. “Yes.”

“Leave,” said Celestia. So Rainbow left, covering her face to hide from all the people staring at her, gossiping from the sidelines, guessing on how Rainbow Dash had messed up this time. Everyone knew Rainbow was a screw up.

She felt like she was floating outside herself, watching herself run down the hall, away from everyone who hated her. She felt scared and sad.

Finally, she reached an open door, and stepped outside to find herself on the soccer field. All of her friends stood at the other end, arranged in a circle. She needed to vent to them. They would understand.

But when she got close she discovered what they were all gathered around: Fluttershy’s broken birdhouse. It still had a hole in the side, the size of Rainbow’s fist. Broken wood shards lay among the blades of grass.

Rainbow gasped and zoomed forward, but after four steps her foot sank deep into the ground, as if the dirt were melting gelatin. Pain shot up her joints. With her lower leg twisted hard to one side, she collapsed onto the astroturf. She breathed in fake dirt.

As she writhed in the grass, the soccer field was impossibly long. She opened her mouth and cried out to her friends, who turned, stared, smiled, and walked in the opposite direction.

They disappeared. Rainbow flailed, screamed. Her arms had become fifty pounds heavier—she couldn’t move them without feeling like a baseball bat was being thrust into her ribcage, stealing her breath. She stopped fighting, and tried crying. She couldn’t make any sound.

“Why did you do this?” asked Fluttershy, appearing before her. The birdhouse fell apart in her hands. “Why are you so awful?”

Rainbow tried to reach for Fluttershy, but stayed stuck.

“You’re obnoxious,” Rarity said. “Ugly, vapid, unlikable. All you care about is yourself, and that you look good.”

Twilight appeared next to her. “And stupid. Mean, too. If it wasn’t for your magic, no one would want you around. I don’t want to be friends with you.”

“I don’t either,” said Pinkie.

All Rainbow could do at this point was beat her own head against the ground, trying to knock herself out.

“All you ever do is yell and make jokes,” Applejack said, crossing her arms. “Nobody likes them. We just laugh because we don’t want you to know how much we hate you.”

Sunset stood over her. “You never think before you do anything, do you? And then, when it all blows up in your face, you just expect everybody to forgive you. Worthless.”

“We don’t forgive you,” Fluttershy said. “We’re done with you.”

Rainbow flailed harder, but nothing could block out the voices. Nothing could shield her from the truth: she didn’t deserve to be cared about. She didn’t deserve friends. Not someone as rude and selfish as her.

She opened her eyes, and found herself back in her bedroom.

Rainbow sat up with a shuddering groan. She felt hot and sticky with sweat, like she’d been dunked in a vat of warm syrup. She threw off her blanket and stripped off her pajamas, but even that wasn’t enough to cool her off; her bedroom had become a sauna. So much for that cool Autumn weather.

She turned over and smushed her face into the hot pillow (she flipped it over, but found the other side just as warm). She’d been having the weirdest dream—at least, she thought it had been weird. The harder she tried to remember, the farther it drifted from her mind, until it melted into a mess of vague emotions. She’d been angry at someone? Maybe?

With sweat pooling under her, getting back to sleep seemed like an impossibility. Grumbling, she flipped onto her back again and checked her clock to see how much time she had before the alarm went off.

8:13 AM.

Rainbow shrieked and fell out of bed.

Late, late, late—her alarm should have gone off an hour ago. School started in twelve minutes, and CHS was halfway across town, twenty minutes away by foot. Ten if she didn’t stop at crosswalks and managed to avoid being run over. She’d already been late a dozen times that semester, and her academic career was on death’s doorstep.

She ran through the calculations in her head as she zipped around her bedroom, snatching up underwear and deodorant and a shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, which she’d already worn twice that week without washing but whatever it was either be stinky or be dead, so she threw it on and sprinted out of the house. She only smacked into a wall once on the way out.

The trip to school went by in seconds. By the time she made it to CHS, flying through the entrance like a rabid cheetah, she’d shouted enough curses to make a death metal band blush.

Skidding on her heels, she slowed down and pulled out her phone. 8:32. That meant she’d missed homeroom and the first period bell had already rung, but if she hurried quick, she could make it to class before—

Let go of her!

Warmth filled Rainbow’s head, then flowed out of her ears. Letting out an awful, wet-lunged cough, she rolled onto her back.

She lay in an empty white chamber, resting in Sunset’s arms. Above them hung the Marabunta, crawling across the ceiling, its various chunks forming into one moist mass.

Rainbow took gulping breaths. “Sunset,” she said. Her face, soaked with tears, felt like mush. “Why—”

Sunset hauled her up onto two feet. “Less talking, more running!” She sprinted off, pulling Rainbow behind her like a ragdoll.

They headed for a nearby hallway. Rainbow stumbled along, tripping over her own feet, everything going blurry around her. The low rumble of the Marabunta’s growl still shook the ground. She could only keep running for about a minute before her legs gave out and she collapsed, nearly pulling Sunset down with her.

Sunset cursed and skidded to a halt. “C’mon, Dash,” she said, “we’ve gotta get ready for the Marabunta to come back.”

Rainbow tried to take a deep breath, but choked on the air. “Why did you save me?”

“What do you mean, why?” Sunset knelt down. “You’re my friend! I wasn’t just gonna let the Marabunta kill you!”

“But, but—” Rainbow shook her head. “But you should hate me! Worthless, you said! I’m stupid, and vapid, and unlikable. I looked at all your secrets, and hurt Fluttershy, and—”

Dash.” Grabbing hold of Rainbow’s shoulders, Sunset looked her in the eye and smiled. “You are annoying as hell sometimes, but you are not worthless, and I’m not leaving you behind to get tortured by some dream demon. I brought you here, and I’m getting you out.”

Rainbow bit down hard on her lip, taking in a deep breath to dry up her tears. She pulled herself back up to her feet.

The Marabunta roared, finally back into one gargantuan blob. It slid across the ceiling, swarming above them.

Sunset glared up at it, feet planted firm. “Let’s end this.” She lifted her arms and thrust her palms out towards the monster. “Beldurra suntsituko da!

A silent moment passed. The Marabunta kept hanging.

Sunset stepped back. “It didn’t work—”

The Marabunta swooped down and grabbed Sunset, slamming her into a wall. Rainbow shouted and beat her fists against it as it passed, but her hands just sunk into the goo.

“Rainbow, run!” Sunset shouted as the Marabunta crept up her body. She craned her neck to keep out of its reach. “This thing is too strong! Go get the girls, Princess Twilight, anyone—”

The Marabunta forced itself into Sunset’s ears with a slick gurgle. A swimming pool of red goo slipped into Sunset’s head, earning a scream from the helpless girl. Within seconds, the Marabunta had disappeared into its new home, leaving Sunset to collapse like a broken doll against the wall.

Rainbow froze for a few seconds, cold terror planting her to the ground. Then, shrieking Sunset’s name, she zoomed over to the carcass and rolled her over onto her back. She wasn’t breathing.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Rainbow sputtered.

Sunset’s eyes stayed open, but she just stared forward, not blinking. Behind the whites of her eyes, Rainbow could see slithering red tendrils, mixed in with the bloodshot veins.

“Let her go!” Rainbow beat her fists against the ground by Sunset’s ear, as if trying to scare away a cat. “Get out of her head!”

Sunset had managed to free Rainbow. Why couldn’t Rainbow do the same?

It’s not my head. I can’t do anything.

Rainbow closed her eyes and rested her head on Sunset’s chest. Slow pulse, shallow breath, like she were asleep in bed.

Minutes passed in silence. Rainbow stewed in the quiet, thinking over her nightmare—thinking about all she ever did was annoy people, and hurt them. She’d doomed Sunset now too, getting captured and needing to be saved. Another in a lifetime of screwups.

But Sunset had been a screwup once too, right? Rainbow saw it firsthand. And yet Sunset got better. She became good.

Why couldn’t Rainbow become good too?

Sunset saved me. I’m not giving up on her—or myself.

She could feel a familiar burn in the pit of her stomach, repressed tears spilling out. Rainbow panted for breath. All her thoughts, all her emotions launched into overdrive.

She let out a shout, and blue light surrounded her. Wings shot out from her back, and her hair grew to twice its length.

Touching the geode on Sunset’s chest, she focused her magic into the amulet until it glowed. She’d never used Sunset’s powers before, but she just sparked her energy in the same way she did to use super speed—and her head began to pound and the empty room around her melted away.

The courtyard of Canterlot High appeared before her, dotted with flames and piles of rubble. Half the school had been torn away, blasted into dust. Bodies lay strewn across the sidewalks. And above it all flew Sunset, her skin and body twisted into its horrific demon form. She circled like a buzzard above the bodies of all her friends, Rainbow included.

“Why?” Rarity asked. “Why would you do this?” All she received in response was a stream of burning energy, centered right on her stomach. She screamed.

Among the bodies, Twilight—on her knees, trembling—looked up at Sunset. “Everyone forgave you,” she said. “I loved you.”

Sunset laughed. “You made a mistake.” She blasted Twilight with magic, slamming her into the pavement until she stopped moving. “Loving me—you tied your own noose.”

Twilight didn’t respond. She just stared, face blank.

“You all did!” Sunset shrieked, still giggling. “You never should have trusted me. All I’ve ever wanted is power! I could never stay good!”

Rainbow watched as the she-demon swooped through the sky, torturing all who remained, until she heard muted sobbing from somewhere in the distance.

She ran over to find Sunset—the normal, teenaged Sunset—kneeling by the horse statue, head in her hands, crying. “Stop,” she said, barely audible above the moans of her friends. “Stop, please. I don’t want this. I don’t...”

Rainbow shook her shoulders. “Sunset, wake up! Sunset!”

Sunset looked up, her face damp and a patchy red. Her eyes were glazed over. “Rainbow?” She looked over to her dreamt-up friends. “But you’re—”

“This isn’t real! None of this is real!” Rainbow said. “It’s just the Marabunta playing a trick on you, just like it did with me.”

“It’s not...?” Sunset blinked a few times, and the life slowly returned to her eyes. But it soon disappeared, drowned out by another heaving sob. “But it’s true. I’m a monster! You can’t trust me.”

“C’mon, that’s not—”

“For months after the Fall Formal, all I thought about was betraying you all. I hated you!” Sunset said. “You forgave me, and all I wanted was my power. It’s been so long now, but what if I fail? What if I go back to being evil? I’ll just hurt you, and everyone, and Twilight, oh goddess, Twilight. Even now, I’m so impatient, I’m so angry, I’m so—”

“Do you know who holds the record for most scored goals in a single CHS soccer game?”

Sunset sniffled. “Uh. You?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow said, nodding fast. “But do you know who held the record before me?”

“No? What are you—”

“Exactly!” Rainbow pumped her fist. “Everyone knows about me. But no one remembers the guy who used to hold the record. It’s just like how no one cares about how evil you used to be!”

An array of emotions passed over Sunset’s face. “Rainbow, that simile made absolutely no sense.”

“What the heck is a simile? I was trying to make a metaphor,” Rainbow muttered. She growled and waved her hands in front of her face. “Whatever! I’m not good at saying what I mean, okay? But what I’m trying to tell you is that you’re not the same person you used to be. You’re so much better!”

Sunset scowled. “Says who?”

“Says me, and Twilight, and, like, everyone at CHS!” Rainbow said. “We all care about you. And we love you for who you are now, not what you were a year ago. You used to be awful, but you changed, and now you’re smart, and funny, and nicer than pretty much anyone I’ve ever met. And honestly? You’re one of my best friends.”

Before Sunset could respond, Rainbow pulled her into a hug, locking her arms around Sunset as tight as she could. Her eyes had started to sting; she shut them tight and buried her face in Sunset’s shoulder. It took a moment, but soon Sunset shook and did the same.

The sounds of the demon’s mayhem faded out, replaced by the hum of Sunset’s magic. A fiery warmth beat against Rainbow’s skin, and Sunset transformed into her Ponied Up form.

The two moved apart, wiping their eyes. “Don’t tell anyone how sappy I just got,” Rainbow said.

“Of course.”

Holding hands, they stood up. With a shared grin, they raised their free arms into the air and focused their magic. White light surrounded them, and Canterlot High disappeared.

Rainbow’s body jerked back as she left the Marabunta’s vision and reentered her body—her body still inside of Sunset’s mind, at least. On the ground, Sunset gasped and shot up.

The Marabunta, all one-million gallons of it, spilled out of Sunset’s head and onto the floor. Growling, it reared back, splashing across the walls.

The girls stood together, bodies pulsing with magic, and glared at the monster as it reformed for another attack.

They weren’t going to give it the chance. As one, they rose into the air.

“You can’t hurt us anymore,” Sunset said. “Our friendship is strong enough to overcome any fear!”

The Marabunta roared and shot towards them.

Sunset placed one hand on her amulet, and the other out in front of her. “Beldurra suntsituko da!

A beam of purple energy shot from the two girls and hit the Marabunta dead in the center. It let out a gargling screech as its goo bubbled like hot tar, then swelled, then exploded.

Waves of red juice flooded the room, spilling over Sunset and Rainbow. The two kept holding hands, even as Sunset snapped her fingers, and everything melted into a purple vortex—




Rainbow gasped as she landed in her real, completely alive body, back in Sunset’s apartment. Windmilling her arms, she fell back and banged her skull against Sunset’s headboard, adding to her already pounding migraine. “Aaugh, crap!”

Sunset fell back too, collapsing into her sheets. She groaned, rubbing at her eyes.

A gasp came from the floor below them. “Are you two alright?” Fluttershy asked, standing by Sunset’s mirror and... wearing all of Sunset’s clothes. “Did you get rid of the monster?”

“Yeah we did!” Rainbow cheered. She looked at Sunset. “We did, right?”

“I feel like someone dropped a bowling ball on my head, which is at least a sign that we did something.” Sunset sat up and touched her geode. “Let me try accessing an old memory. If the Marabunta is still there, I’ll be able to feel it.” She closed her eyes.

Heavy seconds passed. Rainbow gulped. “Well?”

Sunset edged open her eyes. “I can’t feel anything,” she said. A smile broke out on her face and she threw up her hands. “I can’t feel anything! Rainbow, we did it!”

Rainbow laughed and pulled Sunset into a hug. The two of them whooped and hollered, even in spite of their mutual magic hangovers.

As the two of them descended the stairs from Sunset’s loft, Fluttershy clapped. “Yay!”

“Yay is right. You wouldn’t believe what Rainbow and I—” Sunset looked at Fluttershy, scanning her up and down. “Uh. ‘Shy. Why are you wearing my jacket? And my shirt? And skirt? And boots?”

Fluttershy glanced down at the oversized clothes hanging off of her, then up at Sunset. She frowned. “You didn’t leave me the WiFi password.”

Sunset furrowed her brows for a moment, but then shrugged. “That’s fair. Hey, who wants pizza?”

“Me!” Rainbow said, raising her hand. “I feel like I could eat a horse after that! Uh, no offense.”

“I should probably change back into my own clothes,” Fluttershy said, blushing. She walked to the closet, but before stepping inside, stopped and smiled at the others. “I’m glad you two got back safe. I don’t know what I would do without two of my best friends.” She disappeared into the closet.

Silence claimed the room. While Sunset took her phone from the coffee table, Rainbow fidgeted in place, staring at Sunset wistfully and thinking of all the things that still needed to be said. But she kept quiet.