//------------------------------// // Doors (are more intimidating than one would think) // Story: Anything but Textbook // by CircaCloud9 //------------------------------// Anything but Textbook Doors (are more intimidating than one would think) RA training hadn't taught how to knock on doors. Twilight hesitated, hand poised to knock on the mass-produced, fake-wood door that read “407” in metal lettering. Reading was easy and enjoyable; she knew how to do that. Twilight read the number again. It wasn't prime, but she couldn't think of what the divisors would be. She wanted to say one of them was eleven. “Heeey, Twilight! Aren't you gonna get your residents for the meeting?” Twilight jolted back from the door and looked towards the voice. Pinkie Pie, as well as what looked like all of the residents from her half of their hall, was looking at her with a big, puzzled, smile. “Uh, sure,” Twilight replied, “I'm, um, working on that.” Pinkie's smile was persistent. “Do ya want some help?” she asked, bouncing over, “I could get this side while you got that side.” Pinkie's residents were all walking towards the common room. None of Twilight's were even out of their rooms. In all likelihood, they didn't even know the meeting existed. Twilight realized her hand was still raised. She quickly dropped it and blushed. “Sure, Pinkie. That would be great.” Four-Oh-Seven. Four hundred seven. There was some sort of rhythmic thumping coming from behind the door, lots of bass. Divisible by one, eleven, thirty seven, and four hundred seven. What kind of girl had a sound system set up by the first night? Maybe she should major in math. Numbers didn't ask her to knock on doors. Twilight could hear knocks behind her, and Pinkie's cheery voice informing girls that pizza and candy lay waiting in the common room to bribe the residents into attending the meeting. The mandatory meeting! Twilight felt herself stiffen and grow more determined. This was the first hall meeting of the entire year! They had to set quiet hours and determine hall standards and it was of the utmost importance that everybody on the hall was there and— knock knock knock She'd done it. There was a shuffle, barely audible outside the door, as the music didn't change in volume. The door opened inwards. A single, shy eye, peeking out from under a veritable mane of long, pastel-pink hair, peered out at her. The owner of the eye and hair was barely visible behind the door. They stared awkwardly at each other for a few seconds. The girl said something Twilight couldn't hear over the heavy bass. “I'm sorry, what was that?” Twilight said. The girl's mouth moved, but she still couldn't hear her. Twilight forced a stilted laugh. “Didn't quite catch that,” she said. A fierce blush colored the shy girl's cheeks. She stepped farther out in the hallway with about as much enthusiasm as Twilight would have anticipated from a prisoner on death row. “Um, can I help you?” The girl asked, still almost too quiet for Twilight to hear. Twilight nodded and found her words. Thankfully, she'd put together a script so she'd know what to say when she went to get her residents. She just hadn't anticipated it would have taken so long to get to that point. “Oh! Yes actually.” Twilight hurriedly launched into her script, “Hello, I'm your RA, your resident assistant, Twilight Sparkle. On behalf of the university, welcome. I know it's the first night, and you and your roommate are likely getting unpacked and settled in, but your attendance is required at a mandatory hall meeting right now. It's in the common room for this floor, and there is pizza and candy there.” “Oh,” the girl replied, “I'm sorry, are we late? I'm sorry if I missed a knock earlier, my roommate plays her music kind of loud— n-not that I'm complaining about my roommate on the first night. Oh dear I didn't mean to sound like...” she trailed off, her voice fading into nothing. The pink-haired girl shrunk back from her and opened the door more, allowing Twilight to see into the room a little better. The roommate she'd mentioned was lounging in a loose white tank top and sunglasses on a messily made bed (had the covers just been tossed on top of the mattress?), apparently completely at ease with the deep bass notes. The music permeated into the hall; Twilight briefly wondered whether her shaking was from nerves or the vibrations coming up from under her feet. Twilight felt a premonition of noise complaints in her future. “It's not a problem,” she said to the poor shy girl, “Just, um, grab your roommate, have her turn her, ah, music, off. Then head down the hall, through the door, and the common room is just to the right.” The pale girl nodded and murmured some affirmative before retreating and shutting the door. The shy girl seemed completely unequipped to deal with her roommate. Twilight felt a rush of empathy: that was a feeling she could understand well. Then Twilight was in front of the next door. 408. Four-Oh-Eight. “Oooh, good job, Twilight!” a familiar voice piped up, far too close to Twilight's ears to be comfortable, “One down, five more rooms to go! I'll go ahead to the meeting and make sure everyone is having fun helping themselves to the pizza and candy while you get the rest of them.” Pinkie skipped off, quite literally. Four hundred eight. More divisors than she felt like counting. knock knock knock x x x “Um, my name is Twilight Sparkle.” She was going to murder Pinkie. “I'm the RA for the 'low' end of Faust 4, that's the end farthest from the central part of the building.” Icebreaker introductions were her least favorite activity, barring nightmares of being sent back to kindergarten. “I'm in room 409. I'm, um, eighteen, and—” the same age or younger than all of her residents, she'd checked the sheet, “—um, I haven't declared my major yet, but I'm considering Astronomy, History, Physics, and Psychology. Maybe Mathematics, but—” Rambling. She was rambling. “Nevermind. Um...” Last item. What had the last item for the icebreaker been? Interesting fact. If she didn't kill Pinkie for starting the icebreaker, she would kill her for volunteering Twilight to go first. No time to think of an actually interesting fact. She was already taking too long. “My interesting fact... is, um...” Say something. Anything. She just had to say one fact and then it would be Pinkie's turn. “Uh, my parents are both professors here?” Silence. Her cheeks burned. Muffled voices from the other hall's meeting were clearly audible in the quiet. Everyone was staring. Dammit. Of all the facts to pick, she had to land on that one. Twilight started eating the piece of pizza she'd grabbed at the start of the meeting and decidedly ignored Pinkie's predictably chipper introduction. Twilight had only known the girl two weeks, since they'd arrived to begin RA training together, but she was quite certain she already knew enough about Pinkie to satisfy her for a lifetime. Despite her (admittedly not best) efforts to pay attention while the girls from Pinkie's end of the hall introduced themselves, her mind wandered. Twilight idly noted that nobody but her used their last name, but dismissed it. She had items of greater importance to contemplate. Celestia would be giving her speech at Opening Convocation in four days as the President of the university. Twilight's mentor had told her that this year's speech would be about what she considered the most important part of college, and Twilight couldn't wait to hear it. Whatever it was, she would probably see if she could obtain a transcript afterward. Classes started in less than a week; Twilight had been looking forward to meeting Professor Starswirl's replacement in the Astronomy department all summer, and it was nearly time. Celestia had been equally vague about who the replacement professor was, saying nothing more than that he or she was extremely capable and had her full confidence. Twilight had begged and pleaded with her to share the information, but Celestia just smiled and said that she would find out on the first day of class. She also had another room layout to test for efficiency before classes started. Having her bed next to the window meant that the sunrise woke her up unless she had the curtains drawn, but moving it— “407!” Pinkie called out. Twilight perked up. This would be the first of her girls' rooms, and she'd already sort of met these particular residents. She quickly picked out a familiar girl with long pink hair sitting on the other side of the room. The roommate in the sunglasses from earlier was sitting next to her. Twilight saw her elbow the girl with the pink hair, who squeaked and started a very, very quiet introduction. “Um,” she began tentatively, “I'm Fluttershy. I'm nineteen.” Twilight found herself leaning forward to hear the girl. “I'm going to be a Biology, Pre-Vet major, and... um... yeah...” she trailed off and looked at the floor as though hoping the rest of the room would forget about her. “Don't forget your interesting fact!” Pinkie stage-whispered, the same obnoxious smile plastered on her face. “Oh!” Fluttershy squeaked and went bright red. “I'm so sorry! Um... I took a gap year this past year to relocate tigers in Thailand...” She trailed off again, still blushing, then murmured something that sounded like “so cute...” Next to Fluttershy, her roommate's slack jaw reflected the mood amongst rest of the audience. Twilight had to confess herself surprised. Fluttershy didn't look like she could handle relocating a bunny, let alone a tiger. Tigers. Plural. “Well, that's kind of hard to follow up,” Fluttershy's roommate began with a grin, “but I hope I make an impression. My name's Vinyl Scratch. I'm nineteen, and I'm gonna be music and philosophy double major.” The girl's effortless smile and social command made Twilight jealous. “Something interesting about me? I'm a professional DJ. Licensed and everything. I'm offering reduced rates for all the girls attending uni here, so hit me up if you're interested.” There was some interested murmuring, and Twilight thought some of the girls looked as though they'd consider it. “408!” Pinkie piped up. Twilight suddenly remembered that she was expected to know all of her girls' names in a fortnight. Her fingers twitched for a notebook and a pencil. Why hadn't she brought something on and with which to take notes? How was she supposed to remember any of these girls? Why had she let Pinkie hold their roll sheet? Why had she spent the afternoon rearranging her room (again) instead of setting up her printer to make a copy? A pair of girls shifted a few seats over to Twilight's right, and she turned just in time for a pale girl to start her introduction with a flip of purple hair. “My name,” she began, “is Rarity. I'm eighteen, intending to double major in fashion design and business.” Twilight ignored whatever her fact was —something about sewing— and focused on trying to burn her name into her memory. Fashion. Rarity. Hair flip. She could do this. Rarity finished and turned slightly towards her roommate with an expression of perfectly polite, pained interest. “My name's Applejack,” the girl said with a broad, honest smile, “I'm twenty, which makes me a mite older than most'a y'all. I'm also fixin' to major in business, though I'll be partnerin' that up with agriculture; m'not much for fashion myself.” Rarity twitched as Applejack paused to adjust her hat with a shrug. “As for somethin' interestin' 'bout me... well, I'm an apple farmer, and I just so happen to have a birthmark on my shoulder that's kinda apple-shaped.” Applejack turned so more of the room could see her shoulder. Twilight wasn't close enough to determine if the shape on Applejack's tanned, muscular shoulder was really apple-shaped. She was at a bad angle, and it mostly looked like a circular splotch. Maybe she needed glasses. There were a couple of quiet snickers around the room, though Applejack didn't acknowledge them as she reverted to how she had been sitting before. Admittedly, Twilight didn't think she would have any trouble remembering her name. Applejack, apple farmer cowgirl (and hat), apple birthmark. It was all a little too much, if she was being honest. “410!” Pinkie announced. The rooms quickly started to blend together after that. 410 had a pretty pink-haired French girl with a snooty accent Twilight could barely decipher. She couldn't even fathom how the girl spelled her name, it was so muddled. She was an international student from Paris. Her roommate was a girl with strabismus, bright eyes, and blonde hair. She'd said something about muffins for her interesting fact. “411!” Something about Chemistry and liking dogs roomed with a girl who liked fishing. Twilight's fingers twitched to take notes. “412!” Two English majors. Why hadn't she brought a notebook and pen? “413!” “414! Hey, this one's the same forwards and backwards!” Twilight startled. She'd completely zoned out for 413! Suddenly, her heart was pounding; she could feel it in her ears. She hadn't been paying attention at all. She looked around the room quickly. She couldn't even pick out who'd been talking. “415!” Dammit! She'd spent all of the time during the girls from 414 panicking about the girls from 413. She was doing it again. One of the girls from 415 was saying something about horseback riding. Twilight took a deep breath. She would review 413 through 415 later. She just needed to be focused and prepared for... “416!” Pinkie's voice had yet to lose an ounce of cheeriness. Twilight summoned all the focus she could. Her fingers twitched for a writing implement. A girl shifted and cleared her throat to Twilight's left. Twilight blinked twice. Rainbow hair definitely wasn't forgettable. As the girl ran a hand casually through her short, prismatic locks, Twilight decided the look, natural or not, was quite striking. “The name's Rainbow Dash, and I respond to my first or last name,” she started with a casual smile that Twilight envied. “I'm 18 years old, and I have no idea what I'm gonna major in. I'll figure it out as I go— always do.” Dash shrugged. “For an interesting fact... I do track and diving, and I'm the 100 meter dash record holder for my state.” Twilight wasn't entirely sure what Rainbow Dash had accomplished, but it sounded fast. Between her (Rainbow) hair and her (Dash) record, Twilight didn't think she'd forget her. The hair, at the very least, would give her a hint. The girl next to Rainbow Dash was her antithesis. Long, dark greyish-black hair and pale skin while Dash was all, well, rainbow and tan. The girl's crisp button-up blouse was about as far from Dash's athletic top as Twilight could imagine. The other girl had an expression that made Twilight think she couldn't care less about Dash's accomplishments. “My name,” she began, calm and stately, “is Octavia. I am twenty one, planning on majoring in music. I'm intending to take the three year track to graduation. An interesting fact about me...” Octavia paused a moment to tap the small pink bow on her white headband before continuing, a slight smile playing about her lips. Twilight thought she caught Octavia's eyes flicker momentarily towards Vinyl Scratch. “I play the cello and piano, and I hate techno music and dubstep.” Twilight was pretty sure the music she heard pounding out of Vinyl's speakers counted as one or the other of those genres. She wasn't entirely sure. She glanced towards the blue-haired girl next to Fluttershy. Vinyl took her sunglasses off, revealing eerie, angry red eyes. Twilight briefly wondered if she wore colored contacts. Half the room was looking at Octavia. The other half was looking at Vinyl. Pinkie seemed to be folding an origami boat out of the roll sheet. Vinyl clicked her tongue, eyebrows narrowed. “Ex-cuuuuse me, Princess? I ain't here to pick fights, but if you're startin' one, I ain't gonna shy from finishing it.” Octavia bristled, and Twilight thought she saw her eye twitch. Octavia cleared her throat, then opened her mouth to voice a rebuttal and— “417!” Pinkie declared, holding her boat upside down to read the roll sheet. The tension dissipated for the most part. Octavia looked politely at whoever was talking, and Vinyl put her sunglasses back on with a huff. The last half dozen introductions blazed by. Twilight gave up trying to remember anybody from the last three rooms and let herself zone out. She figured could just borrow the roll sheet from Pinkie when she put name tags up on the doors at her end of the hall. She'd have to ask Pinkie to unfold it first, though. “That's it, everybody!” Pinkie announced after the last girl finished her interesting fact. “Now it's time for me to stop talking so much. Twilight is gonna go over the hall, building, and campus rules that you need to know. Rule time!” Twilight grinned and leapt to her feet, landing somewhat unsteadily. About half a moment later, she remembered that nobody else had stood to say anything, not even Pinkie. Twilight felt her cheeks warm slightly before she forced her embarrassment down. Lecturing was what she did best. Lecturing was always best done while standing. If any of her residents had an issue with that, she would stand and defend it until she died. “Thank you all for your attention!” Twilight began, feeling as though she was making several assumptions of the room. But, it was like Celestia had always said, to speak with the authority you want, and project the respect and interest you deserve. “You'll find this quite fascinating, allow me to assure you.” x x x “That covers all the rules you need to be familiar with!” Twilight finished. She looked out at her audience. Only one or two girls seemed to have drifted off, heads leaned against the sides of couches. Suddenly aware that her lecture had ended, she felt incredibly awkward and sat back down. “Does anybody have any questions?” She hurriedly added. Silence. Some staring. A cough. “Okie dokie lokie!” piped Pinkie, still (somehow) as exuberant as ever. “Now it's time for us to vote on the hall's quiet hours for weekdays and weekends!” Instantly, the entire room lurched forward, the sleeping girls woke, and over a dozen voices started speaking at once. Twilight caught snatches of phrases, but was unable to follow any distinct speaker. “—need time to study during—” “—gonna be getting in late—” “—to practice my cello—” “—can't sleep if there's any—” “—need music to concen—” “—gotta get up early for prac—” “—when do campus parties usually—” “Shut UP! Geez, come on guys!” The entire room quieted and heads swiveled to watch Vinyl, who had shouted. “Ah, technically we're all girls here, darling,” a prim voice objected somewhere to Twilight's right. A quick glance confirmed her suspicion that it was Applejack's fashionista roommate. Rare... Uncommon, something. Across the room, Vinyl snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Just had to get everybody to shut up. Let's discuss this rationally. I'm in favor of quiet hours from 2 am to 10 am. Anybody else?” Twilight blanched as murmurs broke out across the room, but stayed silent and tried to mark which (thankfully few) girls were nodding in agreement. Even if she didn't have their names down, it would be good to know who the party girls were by sight at least. “Are you suggesting those hours for weekends or weeknights?” Pinkie asked, surprisingly calm sounding. To Twilight's surprise, it was even a logical question. Vinyl shrugged. “Uh, weekdays?” Silence. Then the room exploded again. Twilight sighed and sat back, leaning against her hands. There was some shouting, including some very spirited French from the international student (which triggered a shocked gasp from Applejack's roommate). Twilight picked out Octavia and Vinyl yelling at each other from across the room. Twilight idly considered whether or not she would have to fill out paperwork if they killed each other during the year. They hadn't covered homicide in training. BWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEHH!!! Several girls shrieked, and Twilight clapped her hands around her ears, nearly falling over. A few seats over from her, Pinkie had pulled out an airhorn (from somewhere...?) and sounded it off. Holding the airhorn in a mildly threatening manner, Pinkie was still grinning. “All right, girls,” she said, “Let's discuss this like adults. We're all in college now, so let's act like it!” Throughout this, her smile still didn't fade, but she had a determined glint in her eyes. Twilight felt this was a good time for her to step in. Metaphorically, of course. She wasn't standing up again unless she had a good lecture topic. “Um, Pinkie's right, girls,” she said, sitting up a little straighter, “You all are probably exhausted from your first day on campus, but we really ought to figure out the quiet hours. As soon as we do, the meeting is over and we'll stop talking at you.” Instantly, everyone seemed a little more focused. Twilight allowed herself a self-satisfied smile. To Twilight's left, she a familiar boyish voice spoke first. “Look,” Rainbow Dash said, “As an athlete, I'm up for practice early nearly every weekday morning. I know I'm not the only one here, right?” She paused, and Twilight could see several other girls nodding their heads in her peripheral vision. “I won't make much noise getting up in the morning, but I'd like to get a decent night's rest. On weeknights, I think quiet hours should start at 11 pm. I don't care when they end.” There were some murmurs of agreement and some of dissent. Next to Dash, Octavia cleared her throat. “I find myself in agreement with my roommate, actually,” she said, “Rising early is also a habit for me, and I like to practice my cello in the morning before breakfast. I think that quiet hours should end at 7 o'clock in the morning.” At this, there was a snort from across the room. “And what about those of us who sleep in a bit? I don't want to wake up at some godawful morning hour to the sound of your cello.” Octavia bristled. Twilight had to admit to herself that watching them go at it was actually somewhat amusing. “Are you saying there's something wrong with how my cello sounds?” To Twilight's surprise, Vinyl didn't get angry. “No,” she said, “it's just that everybody has different tastes, which you ought to respect.” There was a distinct pause. Octavia's glare diminished to a contemplative frown. “I think ze weeknight hours should be from one in ze morning to nine in ze morning,” the French girl declared, “and ze weekend hours should be from three in ze morning to noon.” Twilight could see Vinyl, along with some other girls, nod in agreement. “I don't care about the weekend hours,” Dash said with a shrug, “There isn't usually going to be morning practice on the weekends.” “For the record, this discussion is not all about you!” a clipped voice interjected. Twilight (and the rest of the room) turned to stare at Applejack's roommate— Rarity. Dash looked offended. “I never said it was, dude.” “Perhaps,” Rarity replied, “but all that you've contributed to this discussion is that you don't care about the hours if they're not going to directly affect you— most selfish. Now, I may keep later hours myself, but to agree on quiet hours for the hall, which will apply to all of us, we're going to need a compromise.” Rarity crossed her arms before adding, “Also: I am not a dude.” Around the room, various small groups murmured amongst themselves, though the volume was kept low. Nobody wanted Pinkie to fire her air horn again. “Well,” Applejack said after a few moments, addressing the room at large, “I don't necessarily agree with her manner of confrontation, but my roommate here is right. We need a compromise, so let's saddle up and figure it out.” She nodded to Dash and Octavia. “Now, I gather that y'all and most of the athletes need to be gettin' yer rest 'cause y'all have stuff to do in the mornin's. I'm an early sleeper, early riser m'self, so I understand that fine.” Then she tipped her hat towards Vinyl and the French girl. “An' y'all keep later hours, and there ain't nothin' wrong with that either. “Now, let's figure ourselves out some manner of compromise. Mornin' folk, y'all seem to have more vested in the weekdays. Night owls, y'all have more goin' on during the weekends. So why don't we figure out some hours in the middle that'll make all y'all happy enough.” Applejack paused to adjust her hat. “I'm suggestin' eleven-thirty to eight in the mornin' for weekday quiet hours and half-past one to ten the mornin' as weekend quiet hours. Anybody got herself any objections?” There was a tension in the room, and Twilight could see several girls looked skeptical. “Don't forget!” Twilight added quickly, “Quiet hours aren't to dictate when you sleep or anything, they're just hours in which we all ought to be conscientious of how much noise we're making, particularly in the hall, so as not to disturb other rooms.” Twilight smiled nervously, but, with this reminder, everyone seemed to accept Applejack's compromise. “Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie piped up, “All in favor of the Faust 4 quiet hours being eleven-thirty to eight on weekdays and one-thirty to ten on weekends?” There was a smattering of raised hands and plenty of nods. Twilight would have voted, but,as an RA, she felt it more appropriate to refrain. “All against?” Pinkie asked. There were a few sighs and some shrugs. Most of the room had been in support, so Twilight supposed there wasn't much point for those who disagreed in raising a fuss. “Looks like we're all done here!” Pinkie declared, “Feel free to grab one last slice of pizza or a handful of candy before you go. Get some good rest, there's lots lots more stuff going on tomorrow!” Twilight sighed in relief as the room started to empty. She stood up and stretched. Thankfully, they'd said in training that the first hall meeting was always the longest. She and Pinkie didn't technically need to have another one until before Winter break, though they were suggested to have an extra one mid-semester. Pinkie said goodbye to girls individually as they left, calling nearly all of them by name and mentioning some individual quality about each one. Twilight shook her head in grudging admiration as she started to pick up various candy wrappers and paper plates girls had forgotten on the floor and couches. Pinkie Pie was quite possibly insane. Twilight had, at various points in the past two weeks, speculated on the probability that she was on drugs. Despite all this, there was a quality about her, the way that she remembered everyone's name and something related to them, and the way that she seemed to actually care about them all, that rendered her near impossible for Twilight to actually hate. Didn't mean she was all there, upstairs, of course, but she was a good person. Even if she'd started that damn icebreaker game. Even if she kept air horns on her person. Despite keeping air horns on her person. Twilight finished picking up some trash by the door and dropped it in the can nearby. Turning around and stepping back to see if she and Pinkie had any more clean-up to do, Twilight crashed into somebody. Twilight lost her balance and nearly fell over, but managed to catch herself at the very last moment. She started blurting apologies before her feet were back under her. “I'm so so sorry! I should have looked before I turned around and started walking and—” Twilight stopped as she realized the girl she'd bumped into was unhurt, laughing, and someone whose name she'd actually remembered. The latter alone was enough to give her pause. “Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked, certain that the short hair with warm colors in front and cool colors in back was something she wouldn't mistake, but too accustomed to mixing up and forgetting names to trust her memory. Dash stopped laughing and nodded. “That's me, Twilight. I thought I was gonna have to catch you for a sec, but you managed not to fall over.” Twilight blushed and smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, um, I'm sorry, Dash. I really didn't mean to crash into you. Um, I hope you have a good night?” Dash just chuckled and brushed a spare lock of hair away from her eyes, which were a vivid rose-ish pink. “Thanks, Twi. I'm sure you're gonna be a fun RA.” Then she winked with a wide grin, and it was such a cool, effortless expression that Twilight thought she would die just looking at it. “Before you crashed into me, I was just coming over to tell you that you look really cute when you're awkward.” Twilight's face was on fire. A million racing thoughts stopped to converge on a single word. “Bwah?” Dash smiled. “That's the face. 'Night, Twi.” Then she walked out the door, munching on one last slice of pizza as she tossed a soda can over her shoulder into the recycling bin. Twilight could only blink at the space where she'd been standing. “Oooooh,” Pinkie cooed in a sing-song voice, “Twilight has an ad-mire-er-er!” Twilight was too shocked to even glare at Pinkie. “... Bwah?”