CHAPTER 32
I walked through Ponyville, looking for something to do. Everypony was busy, and I had no music to make.
"KYLE!" Uh-oh. Pinkie Pie...
I was immediately tackled to the ground, and the pink pony was rambling on about something.
"OHTHANKGOODNESSYOU'REHEREINEEDSOMEHELPRIGHTNOWITCAN'TWAI-"
I shoved her off of me. "Alright, calm down... What is it?"
"Oh, it's terrible! I need some help with the store, there are so many ponies there, I can't bake fast enough for them all!"
"I'm not the best cook..."
"Well, you could distract them for me!"
"What?"
"You're famous, silly! Just do something to draw their attention away from their food while I cook!"
"Alright, sure."
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I walked into the shop, but nopony payed me any mind. Pinkie walked back into the kitchen, giving me a comical wink to signal that I should start the distraction.
At first, nopony recognized me, but when I turned my hat around and un-buttoned my jacket...
"Hey look! It's DJ 1NS4N1TY!"
Then, I was mobbed by a bunch of crazy fans.
"Easy, easy! One at a time, please."
They all lined up, asking me to autograph something or other. One mare even asked me to sign her flank. Sheesh...
After it was all said and done, everypony went back to waiting for their orders, which Pinkie had just finished. They all grabbed their orders and left.
Pinkie let out a hefty sigh. "Thanks Kyle. Now I can plan a party!"
"Aren't you exhausted?"
"Oh Kyle! Don't be a silly-willy! You should know me by now, I NEVER get exhausted!" She then bounced up to her room. I left the shop, glad that I had killed a lot of my free time. It was already afternoon.
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I headed over to Twilight's library, to see if there was anything to read. When I knocked on the door, I heard several loud crashes, and an angry shout. Then the door swung open. I saw a very angry Twilight, with a scorched coat and mane.
"Woah, what happened to you?"
"I WAS trying to cast a spell, until you knocked."
"Oops. Sorry."
"It's alright."
She stepped aside, and I saw the condition of the library. There were glass shards everywhere, and a bunch of books had fallen from their shelves.
"What spell were you casting again?"
"I was trying to turn glass into diamond."
"Oh..."
I started to sweep up the glass, when magic surrounded it all. Oh, right. Unicorn.
"Is there... Anything I can do to help?"
"Well, you could hold up a pane of glass for me."
"Alright." I grabbed a pane and held it up. It was actually kinda heavy.
"OK... Now to just concentrate... And..." Her horn began to glow.
Whenever the beam of energy shot from her horn to the glass, I began to feel a tingling sensation. Then I started to feel hot. Very hot, and the tingling got much worse.
BOOM!
The glass in my hands had become shards, and I was covered in soot, like I had just crawled out of a chimney.
"*Cough*" A small puff of smoke came out of my mouth.
"Ohmygosh! I'm sorry Kyle!"
"It's... Alright... I feel fine. I think I'll just go."
"Yeah... See you later!"
"Laters, Twilight."
I wondered who else needed help. Then I thought of AJ. I hadn't been applebucking in a while, since I was a DJ now. But what the hay, why not?
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I arrived at the farm, only to see Big Mac outside, chewing on the strand of wheat he seems to always have.
"Hey there, Big Mac."
"Howdy Kyle."
"Is AJ here?"
"Nope." Wow. It sounded so strange hearing him say that instead of his trademark "Eeyup."
"Do you know where she is?"
"Eeyup. She's out at Sugarcube Corner, sellin' apples with that cart o' hers."
"Thanks Mac. Hey, need any help with anything?"
"Well, Ah' could use a hand with th' whole Fluttershy situation. But Ah' reckon y'all ain't too comfortable doin' anything romantic-like around her."
"Yeah, sorry bud. No help there." He chuckled when I said that. He knew I would say that. "Well, I'm out. Seeya Mac."
"Eeyup."
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I walked around Sugarcube Corner, hoping to find AJ.
"Well howdy there Kyle!" Found her.
"Hey, AJ! Need any help?"
"Actually, Ah' reckon Ah' do. Think ya' could watch the cart fer' a minute while Ah' run off t' get some more apples? Ah' don't want any sticky-fingered pony snatcin' up mah' bits."
"Can do, AJ."
She smiled, and trotted off towards Sweet Apple Acres. I stood at the apple cart, looking around to see if there were any suspicious looking ponies. Not seeing anything suspicious, I relaxed.
"Oh. Hi Kyle."
I looked over at the source of the voice. It was Fluttershy, and she was with Rarity.
"Hey Shy, what's up? Why are you with Ms. Snooty Pants here?" Rarity gave me a piercing stare.
Fluttershy barely managed to stifle a giggle. "We're going to the spa. We always go together one day or another every week."
"Yes! You should try it to, Kyle. It would help you with those wrinkles." Rarity piped up.
"These wrinkles won't go away. They are leftovers from surgery I had on my wrist when the doctor didn't stitch it up right."
"Oh my, whatever happened darling?"
"I had what is called 'Carpal Tunnel Syndrome,' which is caused by frequent use of the hands. I used to type a lot on my laptop, until one day, when both of my wrists seized up and I couldn't move them. I went to the hospital, they gave me surgery. I try not to do anything with my hands too fast anymore, out of fear it would come back."
"Oh my... That sounds like it was painful."
"Shy, you have no idea. But don't let me and my stories keep you ladies. Go on, enjoy your girl time." They smiled and trotted off.
Almost immediately after that, AJ came back with the apples. "Thanks Kyle. Ah' really appreciate it."
"Don't mention it. Glad to help." I tipped my hat, and walked off. It was nearing evening, and I could see the orange in the sky as the sun began to set. I decided to head back home.
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I was on my way home. It was already dark out when I saw something going on in an alley. I peeked around the corner to take a look.
"Lady, don't make me ask twice. Give me your bits, and you don't get hurt..." Sounds like a mugging to me.
"Sir, please. I don't have much on me, and I need it. I haven't gone grocery shopping in a while, and my family needs the money."
I crouched down so I made less noise when I walked, and slowly approached. The victim glanced at me, and I put my finger to my lips to signal her to act as if I wasn't there. She looked back at the mugger.
I slowly approached behind him, and grabbed a plank off of the wall. There was no way I would knock somepony out with a punch.
I stood up behind him, and raised the plan in one hand, and tapped his shoulder with the other. "Excuse me, kind sir..."
He turned around, and looked up to see the plank speeding at him.
WHACK!
He fell over. I had hit him in the side of the head with the plank, right in where his temple is. He was out like a light. Man am I glad I took fighting lessons when I was younger.
"Hey, you alright?" I asked the mare, who was still shaking.
"Oh, thank you. I don't know what he would have done to me if you hadn't show up!"
"Don't sweat it. I'd do anything to help a pony in need."
I began to walk off, when she called out to me. "What's your name?"
"Kyle." I answered. I proceeded out of the alley, but I kicked the stallion on the ground as I walked past him. He woke up from the kick, and groaned in pain.
"Oops, sorry. Didn't see you there."
I walked out of the alley, and was back on my way home.
I guess I really am a hero.