Well, here we are. Oddly enough, the situation seemed familiar, yet different somehow. Like a bit of nostalgia in present times. Though truthfully, in comparison, I prefered the past version better. At least then I could avoid it and hop ship whenever I wanted to. Instead, I was forced to sit there and take it.
I, of course, am speaking of one of Celestia and Luna’s famous shouting matches.
In centuries past their arguments could crumble mountains, boil seas, and make even the most ferocious villain cry for mercy. Though rare and far between, when they got a-hollerin’, everypony worth their sense made up their mind to wisely avoid the two sisters as much as possible. Which would explain why I was there in the first place.
“Ladies, ladies, please,” I began to say, holding up my claws to show I was attempting my best shot at negotiating. “Try to tone it down a bit, will you?”
In retrospect, those weren’t the best use of words. Especially since me and Luna just popped the bubble to Celestia not too long ago about our little adventures. I had hoped that she’d simmer and finally cool down a bit after we first revealed the news, but much like the celestial body shown clearly on her rump, Celestia could be a bit of a hothead. Big-headed as well. Feisty too, now that I mention it. But I digress.
She definitely wasn’t taking no for an answer, that was for sure.
“I will not keep my tone down for either of you two,” Celestia warned, eying Luna and I with that much hated and pretentious glare of hers. “Not only did the two of you willingly withhold information from me, you lied about it! Then, to make matters worse, this information puts the entire safety of Equestria in the balance. And you tell me right now, to my face, that you refuse to take me there?”
“Well… not exactly refuse,” I said with my best cheerful grin. Scratch that, I was just trying my best to put forth a smile that didn’t show my anxiety. Celestia was a tough nut to crack, and with matters like this, she may as well as be made from steel. “More like persuade. I mean, we’re just looking out for your best interests.” I pointed a claw at Luna. “Or at least she is.”
“You don’t know the dangers this world presents to you, sister! And think rationally! If this dimension had posed a threat at any point in its existence, do you honestly believe you could have gone so long without hearing about it?! Are you really so arrogant as to believe that just because something is a secret that it’s a threat to you?!” Luna had forsaken placating her sister, and had gone straight for her pride. Not a move I would have made. Or maybe I would. Either way, she got to it first.
And of course, Celestia bit back hard. Just like her. “Any potential threat to Equestria is a threat that I shall not stand by to let happen. And from what you’ve already said about this… Tirelic place you and Discord inhabited for a thousand years, it is most definitely a threat. Monsters, abominations, dark gods and who knows how many other horrors remain in that plane of existence?”
“I actually know,” I said, attempting to diverge the conversation to a more rational footing. Wow, I must really be losing my touch if I was trying to attempt something like that. But without any escape plan in sight, I was grasping straws at anything that’s within reach. “Once you stay there a century or two, you begin cataloging stuff.” Reaching into my favorite pocket-dimension—because really, regular pockets just don’t cut it nowadays—I withdrew a book. Not just any book, mind you. Its cover was made from the exotic tongue of a particularly nasty mutant-zombie-hybrid-potato. Its pages ripped right from the feathers of an extinct species of birds that happened to have paper for wings—I still wonder why they were all killed off. Then the ink used to write the words of the tome was some really cheap stuff I found in a ninety-nine cent bargain bin. “Right here in these pages in everything you’d want to need, want, bribe or stab about Tirelic.”
Luna looked sparingly at the book, and with no lack of disdain. “I really do abhor that tome,” she hissed. “Really, did you have to use the Mutant Zomtato tongue? It absolutely reeks for the first few centuries.” She sniffed the air cautiously, and, detecting no offending odor, returned her attention to Celestia. “Tia, this place is only a threat to you if you go to it.. There’s no part of it that can come here, not now.”
Flipping through a couple of pages, I said, “Eeyup, nothing there can break the dimensional spacetime border between our worlds. Well… except for Tartarus. But no one even knows if that place is even a thing. And even if it is, it hasn’t tried anything for thousands of years. Plus, I don’t think anything from Tirelic would dare try to pass through Tartarus... and make it out alive at the end. Well, if you don’t count the battalion of extradimensional slavemonkeys mining their way through the worlds. But that’s just silly.”
Luna seemed to remain quiet on that front, as well, deciding to switch tactics in her argument. “And if Equestria needs you as desperately as you claim, sister, how could you justify leaving to investigate another dimension entirely? What if something were to happen to you there, like we keep warning you it might? The only threat Tirelic poses to you is you never leaving again! Would you really put yourself at risk over something so foolish as pride when your kingdom so obviously requires your presence?!”
Celestia narrowed her eyes at Luna. The air in the room seemed to drop a few degrees. The stillness that now settled like a blinding fog sent a cold shiver down my back. You see, you’d expect Celestia to have a fiery temper. Something explosive and blazing that incinerates everything around it in an inferno of rage. How I wish that was true. Instead, Celestia’s wrath was as cold as the most frozen wasteland in Equestria and then some. I’ve seen ponies, monsters and even other gods freeze at that stare and whimper in fear. For me, all I got was a chill. For Luna, who was the main target behind that steely gaze, I could only imagine she could hardly move, much less think.
“Dear sister, do you know what my job entitles? What troubles I weather each day under the weight of my crown? What my duty to this nation and every citizen in it means?” Celestia asked, her voice so icy I swear I could spot icles forming on the ceiling. “Because if you can’t understand why I must go to this place known as Tirelic and discover for myself how much of a threat it poses to Equestria, then you don’t know me at all.”
Oh dang. That was sibling rivalry taken to its most extreme. And judging by the pained look etched on Luna’s face, the statement obviously struck her right to her heart.
“You… you dare…” It was obvious Celestia’s statement had hit home. For a second I even thought she had won. “You dare assume I don’t care for our nation as much as you do?! I spent a thousand years in that hole, Celestia! Ten centuries! You cannot imagine the kind of survival techniques I’ve had to implement to keep myself alive, to keep myself sane! The things that place makes you do! I spent a thousand years waiting to come home, Tia! To our kingdom! To my own bed! To my family! And you think just a quick jaunt and back is enough to form a better opinion?! To educate yourself entirely on what it took me a thousand years to learn?! If you truly believe that you need to see Tirelic for yourself, dear sister, then you obviously still don’t TRUST ME!”
Celestia didn’t answer. She just stared at Luna, dead center gaze neither of the two sisters broke. And really, that was all the answer Luna needed.
Stepping forward to break their game of a hate induced staring contest, I lifted up my hands and said, “Okay, we all get the point already! Tia, if you want to stick your muzzle into a bear trap, be my guest! I’ll give you the keys to enter that place myself if you want to!”
“Fine,” Celestia replied sharply. “I want to arrive there as soon as possible. Is that understood?”
Glancing down at Luna, I noticed the tears in her eyes. She was trying her best to hold back a sniffle, but it was clear she’d break down soon. She usually did when dealing with a situation like this.
“Yes,” I said with a wave of my claw. Looking to her, I asked, “Just let Luna and I prepare, okay?”
Celestia gave us a curt nod, leaving us alone in the royal chambers of Luna’s room without a word. Not like anything else could’ve been added to a conversation like that. Once the door closed, I huffed a sigh of relief and wiped my forehead with the hairs of my tail. “Sheesh… I forgot how much of a thorn in the side that mare can be.”
Luna did little more than sniffle for a few moments. She never did have much of a stomach to argue with Celestia, but that was taking things a few notches above extreme. Then, she looked up at me. “And how exactly do you plan on ‘handing the keys’ to Tirelic, anyway?”
I smiled and unfurled my bat wing, revealing the Elements of Harmony held in each of my wingtip’s grasp. “Why, by using these beauties I totally didn’t steal from Celestia’s personal chambers, of course.” I failed to mention that I also pinched twenty bits while in there to buy some cavity inducing candy, but yeah, like she really needed to know that.
Luna balked at the sight of the jewels. “Are you… how could you think of using those against my sister?! Not to mention convincing the Element Bearers to do so would be nigh impossible! Are you cra—nevermind.”
“Crazy? Why of course not, Lulu deary.” I leaned down closer to her, smelling the slight hint of fear in the air as I widened my sharp toothed grin to monstrous levels. “I’m just mad!” I giggled like a little school foal at this, irresistibly clutching at my lips to hold the chuckles in. Unfortunately for me, Luna had seen this freakout trick I’ve pulled before on many an unsuspecting stranger. I didn’t get quite the reaction I wanted out of her—terror inducing levels of fright for Luna, the regal pony of Nightmare Night, is quite tricky—but I was content to see her frown at my behavior. Just like the good ol’ days.
She frowned in that way that suggested she wasn’t sure what to do with the situation. “Isn’t there another method of… ‘travel?’ I know we have yet to find one, mostly for lack of searching, but surely we can come up with something… This is a royal palace in a land full of magic! One would think we would have more than one method of interdimensional travel!” She pouted, and stamped a hoof on the ground. Rather unladylike.
“But… I wanna turn Celestia into a statue!” I argued, copying the exact same pout she was putting forth and stamping my own hoof through the ground, though mine just crumbled through the marble floor and left my hoof wiggling in the ceiling directly underneath us. Grunting and dislodging my leg from the floor, I said, “Come on, just for a little payback. You know you want to do it as well, just for old time’s sake. Just five minutes. In that time I can have some real fun!” That fun involving a sharpie and no grasp of maturity of any kind, I might add.
I saw the corners of her mouth twitch in what could be a smile if I pressed hard enough, but she had decided to stand firmly her resolve. “No. We will find another way into Tirelic. Of course, if we can’t…” Luna’s thoughts drifted. I had an inkling where it was going.
“Oh no! I am not going back in that hellhole!” I shouted, pointing a finger directly in her muzzle. “Forget it! I only escaped Tartarus once, Luna. That’s as much luck as I’m willing to bet. Not even I, in all my immaculate and grand glory, would risk spending the rest of my eternal days cooped in there. And neither should you.”
She gave me a flat look, telling me I clearly didn’t understand her idea. “No, you cacophonous catastrophe. I mean, if we can’t find a way in, then most likely neither could my sister. Which means this is all a great big moot point.”
“Luna, this is Celestia we’re talking about. Celestia, the pony who never gives up at anything. Celestia, the mare that managed to track down all the Elements across the globe, scouring the farthest reaches of civilization and then some, just so she could defeat me.” Noticing Luna’s annoyed glare, I quickly added, “Along with your help as well, sheesh.” Holding the Elements of Harmony in a bundle in my paw, I stared at the multiple reflections of me in their gems. Good to see six handsome Spirits of Chaos looking right back. “If Celestia doesn’t use the Elements to catch a ride on the fast ticket to Tirelic, then she’ll go through its exit. And even I don’t think she’ll survive the trip through Tartarus. But she’ll go through it anyways, because…” Luna knew the answer before I even had to say it.
“Because that’s who she is. Because she’s the Princess of the Sun, and all of Equestria is her charge. I know. But there has to be some other way.” She sighed, exasperated. “If we were just in Tirelic already we could ask someone to help us, like The Doorman or the Mirror Sisters. But no. We have to be here. On the difficult side of things.”
“Well, at least we keep most of da magics on this side as well,” I reminded her, snapping my claw for a brief spark of light to flame forth, then spizzle out while reenacting a tap dancing performance. “You’d think that’d make things as smooth as a unicorn’s horn, but it’s just not to snuff. Tirelic is the edge of the universe and pit of existence. Magic, in all it’s insufferable yet useful glory, just doesn’t cut it there. Meaning that anything we try to do to ‘poof’ on over will result in nil, nada, zero and void.”
Luna rubbed her forehead in what I could only assume was one of her headaches coming on. “That’s part of it, yes. Magic there is… different. Insomuch as to be almost incompatible with anything here. The only other place magic works even remotely the same way is… in… Tartarus…” she trailed off, the inklings of an idea sprouting in her mind.
“Well, we can try a portal,” I suggested, spinning my finger through the air to create a hoop of light. Flicking it and scoring a point on getting it on Luna’s horn, I shrugged. “But punching through the spacetime border between worlds would be hard to pull off, even for someone with talents as brilliant as my own. Besides, even if all three of us tried our darndest to hitch a ride to Tirelic across the dimensional drift using Tartarus as a base, there’s no guarantee we’ll arrive there…” I remove my right arm from its socket, waving my lion’s paw in her face, “In one piece.”
Luna considered this, absentmindedly flicking the halo off of her head. “Yes, but if we had a focus, some kind of pre-existing portal that could tune itself to Tirelic with little to no magical direction. All we’d have to do is drag it to Tartarus and hop through. Not even very far into The Pit. Just within the borders. I doubt we’d even need to go over the ledge.”
“Well…” I scratched my head with a claw, reflecting on what could possibly get us to the land of nevermore. Then, it hit me. “The mirror!” I shouted, snapping my fingers in remembrance. “The mirror leading to humanland! We get it to Tartarus, configure it a bit, and I’m sure it can punch through spacetime and get us to Tirelic again, no problem!”
Luna’s eyes widened as I spoke, and by the end she was nodding. “Yes, that could work! Although, it means actually dealing with the Mirror Sisters, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. If anything it’ll make things easier. They always did like company.” She stopped for a moment, and sighed again. “This means we actually do have to go back, don’t we?”
I caught the hesitation in Luna’s voice like a hoofball player catching a flyball. “Not looking forward to the old stomping grounds?” I asked. I already knew Tirelic was never a place of Luna’s fondest memories. Sure, we had a ball every once in a while, but Equestria was truly her home. A home she didn’t get a chance to see, not once, in her thousand year banishment. Worse case of homesickness I’ve ever seen. Often times she’s told me, during her most desperate and dark hours, how she wished she had been banished on the moon like intended. Then at least she’d be able to glance down at the ball in the void of space that was her home.
For me, I was just glad I didn’t have to experience pigeons crapping on me for a thousand years.
“There’s… there are a lot of places in Tirelic that aren’t so bad as all that. The cities, especially the Mecca, had great potential. My biggest concern is that being there at all will be too much for Celestia. I can’t say that there are places there that I wouldn’t want to visit again. People I had that came close to… friends. But I can’t honestly say there’s enough good left in that world to balance out all of the reasons we shouldn’t be going.” Her speech was slow, measured. It was obvious she was controlling a series of conflicting emotions even as she realized them.
Of course, I couldn’t help poking fun at a crucial flaw in her reasoning. “Not too eager to rekindle old flames with your boyfriend, are you Lulu?” I said, ending my sentence with all too knowing wink of one secret sharer to another. I must admit, the utter balk of the expression her face made caused me to wish I had a camera to capture the precious moment we were sharing.
“That… you can’t be serious. Him? Of all the things we could be talking about, I seriously think bringing up that man is the last thing we should be doing.” She huffed, and turned to walk out of the room. Apparently, having reached some kind of conclusion, she had decided to ‘get things over with.’ “Besides,” she added, looking over her shoulder at the doorway. “If memory serves, Discord, while we were in Tirelic, I spent much more time in your ‘company’ than I ever did his.”
“Don’t deny your wuuuuuuv Loonypoo!” I laughed, making a red heart shaped drawing in the air with my tail. “Like all those times you ran off with him. You crazy kids.” Poking my head through the heart drawing, I asked, “Ever regret leaving his sorry butt behind, Lulu?”
She stopped, just the tail end of her visible through the doorway. “There are many things I’ve done that I regret, Discord. Please do yourself a favor and don’t become one of them. Now come along, and let’s get this over with.”
“Very well, your majesty,” I said, taking a bow as I ran forward to catch up with her. Of course, I already knew she was gritting her teeth at that little jab. Luna never took kindly to her royal title… well, at least back then. Now she’s all up for being accepted as a princess and just another ruler of Equestria. But back in Tirelic, where her title was null and void, there was nothing that egged her on greater.
“Oh what a wonderful—”
“Discord!” Celestia snapped at me, glaring with an agitated rage that just won’t let up.
I stared at her, lifting up a brow. “What?”
“You’ve been singing that song for the past hour!” Celestia explained, her right eyelid twitching slightly. “Will you please end that tune immediately? I fear for my sanity as well as my sister’s if we are to be forced to continue listening to that insufferable song for much longer.”
“Hey now, I sung this all the time with Luna back in our glory days!” I said, switching the arm I was lugging the mirror with to my right. Breaking the damn gateway from its honorary position was a pain, and dragging it about was an even bigger one. “Why, we’d sing jolly tunes aplenty, back when we were being chased by some beast or cosmic horror. Remember, Luna? Fun times, am I right?”
Luna didn’t seem to hear me at first, as she appeared lost in thought. When I moved closer to bug her further, however, I heard: “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-A, my oh my, what a wonderful day…”
“Ha! See!” I pointed to Luna, sticking my tongue out at Celestia. “At least she knows how to have some fun. Maybe this trip to funland of the damned will teach you a thing or two, Miss Uptight Ass.”
Luna seemed to finally come to attention in regards to the conversation. “Huh… what? Oh! We seem to be almost there. Discord, please be careful with the mirror. If it breaks, we really do not want to have to explain the alternatives.”
“Those alternatives being the six kiddies we just ditched?” I asked. Actually, she made a fair point. How exactly did Celestia explain to the Element Bearers where we were going? “So… Celly, I take it Twily took the news well?” I asked, leaning down to throw my arm over Celestia’s shoulder. “I mean, what with us going to the edge of existence in the land of improbable. You do know how dear lil’ Twilight handles stress, don’t you?”
“I told her I’d be busy for a while,” Celestia replied shrugging me off to move closer to Luna’s side. “I have full trust in Twilight’s abilities to rule Equestria in Luna and my own’s absence. Her credentials as a leader you already know too well, so her ruling the nation for a few days can’t hurt. All she knows is that there is some important business the three of us must attend to, and nothing more.” Though her voice was firm and strong, as per usual for Celestia, I did detect the slightest note of anxiety peppered throughout her speech.
Hoping over the two so I was on the opposite of Celestia’s side with Luna, I nudged the dark alicorn with my tail. “Looks like Celly can’t be bothered enough to put all her trust in Twilight, seeing as how she won’t even tell her where we’re heading off to. Seems kind of familiar, doesn’t it, Lulu?”
Luna slowed her pace slightly, as if considering stopping. She kept walking, though, even as she turned her head to me. “Discord, you remember where we are going, yes?”
“Oh yes, Tartarus. Eternal resting place and cesspool of the wicked and deceitful. Kind of a hard place to find if you’re not being careful.” Sticking my finger in my ear, digging around a bit to poke my brain—or perhaps it was my liver, couldn’t tell—I withdrew and took a lick of my finger with my tongue, now sticking it up in the air to catch the faintest hint of wind. Celestia stared at me with a strange and rather perplexed expression while Luna just took a bored glance in my direction. Nodding my head and humming under my breath, I pointed directly to my right and said, “There it is.”
My finger flew off and directed us to a small hole in the ground, so tiny one wouldn’t think a pony could fit into it. It wasn’t really a cave so much as what one would expect a woodland critter of some type to make its home in. Catching my returning finger in my paw, I waved my hand in front of the entrance to hell. “Oh, let me just open it up first,” I said, coughing a bit into my fist. Taking a big gulp of breath, I shouted, “I’ll take a number two with extra cheese and a diet soda!”
Luna sighed as Celestia rolled her eyes. Before the Solar Princess could say anything, the Lunar one spoke up. “No, Discord. The other place we’re going to. You say you remember it well, yes?” I could tell she was leading me into something.
“But I’m hungry!” I complained. Luna’s serious glare that I remember all too well made me roll my eyes in response. Though I knew there was no use in arguing over it. Groaning, I asked, “Hey, Cerberus! Tell your boss we need a way in! I’ll owe him one for this!” I heard distant barking down in the hole. Along with grumbling and what sounded like a key unlocking a door.
The hole in the ground started growing larger, doubling in size in the first few seconds and only continuing on from there. Bones poked out of the ground, leading to spinal cords, rib cages and even skulls as the hole to the inferno of the damned grew and grew.
Waiting patiently for the gateway to make itself passably large, Luna leveled her gaze at me. “Now Discord, I want you to think back. Remember Tirelic, do you?”
I rolled my eyes, in that I popped them out of my skull and twiddled them in my paw like marbles. “Yes. Yes I remember the place we haven’t stopped talking about for, like, a week, and the entire reason we’re here. Why do you ask?”
“So you remember why I am worried about taking my dear sister into this morbid crossroads of a dimension? The really big, really obvious reason that this is a horrible idea?” The gaping maw in the earth grew as she talked, but for now I was more focused on her words than the hole to hell at my feet.
“...Yes?” I wasn’t sure I would like where she was going with this. Celestia looked back and forth between the two of us impatiently, but didn’t seem to find a place to fit a word in edgewise.
“So, keeping all of that in mind, I want you to think. What possible reason could I have for only being concerned about her well being? Why am I not worried about my own? Think very hard, Discord. It’s a very obvious answer. It’s big, it’s bright, and it’s something I’m very, very good with.” Something crossed her face while she elaborated, a smirk I hadn’t seen in several years.
Then, of course, it all came flooding back to me: the sky. Oh, sweet merciful mother of me, the sky. I could already feel a distinct lack of fun in my future. “You, my princess, are just being mean.” I fitted my eyes back in their sockets, taking care to put them back on the wrong sides.
Luna stared down into the maw of the earth as it finished its grand expansion with an ominous, resounding gong. Presumably for special effect. “As long as we’re on the same page, Discord. Now, please try to keep yourself out of trouble on the way there, lest I think of something mightily unpleasant to do to your anatomy once we arrive.” She marched ahead, her sister following behind, wearing what I could only interpret as a confused smile.
“...So you did hide my other tooth!” I shouted, holding my arm up as I followed close behind. After all these years, it finally made sense now. “Where’d you put it? I’ve been looking for it for centuries!”
“Hush,” Luna said simply. We’d gotten far enough into the Hellmouth that I could safely say we were within Tartarus’s borders
The sight was unmistakable. Beyond the hollow, bone-ridden cavern of the entrance, there sat the obvious things to look for once arriving in Tartarus: the gate, and the gatekeeper. The gatekeeper of course being a huge freakin’ dog with three heads, but I digress. The gate itself was really the more intimidating force. Most ponies are under the assumption that Cerberus is there to guard the gates of Tartarus from intrusion. A more educated soul would know the truth: he doesn’t care what gets in. He’s only there to make sure nothing gets out. Getting in was easy. You either died, or you went through the gates.
Massive doors of an unknowable metal, the gates to Tartarus stood higher than any mortal or beast ever imagined, and were thicker than the length of any blade or weapon. Crafted in cold calculation against any and all forms of intrusion, or, more likely, extrusion, the solid mass of metal and incantation was nothing short of a bleak miracle born of a malevolent god’s will. Intricate carvings along the surface threatened to stretch on and into themselves forever, in patterns that could never be fully traced, or understood, lest the poor soul ignorant enough to try go mad in the attempt to understand the language of the gods. Only a handful of markings across the door’s edges were at all coherent.
Many think, incorrectly, that the words above the door read “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” It’s actually a mistranslation, partly because I felt particularly ornery at the time. In truth, it reads: “Ye who enter here, be abandoned, for there never was hope for thee.” I never was that good in language class anyhow.
I tore my mismatched eyes away from the intimidating mass of black metal casting in the great stone wall, and returned my attentions to the royal sisters. It was obvious to me that they had spent a bit more time at the entrance than I had, as Celestia brought out what could only be the biggest dog treat ever crafted by pony kind to offer the great big pile of dog at the front door, and Luna had taken to setting up the mirror off to the side.
While Cerberus was gobbling his treat, he stared at me with his triple gaze, slobber running down his fangs. We had a history, you see. Not the best one. That dog never did like me after I… well, you know. I bet he was dying to drag me back into that pit. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“Tell your boss I said ‘yo,’” I said to the mythical mutt with a quick salute. Only best to pay respects to the big boss himself. Cerberus responded by growling. Well, at least one of his heads did. The other two were too busy tearing apart the treat. Which brought back a host of… unpleasant memories. Staring off to the side at Luna, I shouted, “Hurry up with that mirror already!”
She seemed to ignore me, poking certain points of the frame with her horn, until the surface of the mirror shone white. In a moment, the glow was gone, replaced with the image of a rather familiar face. A light furred, diminutive creature, akin to a fox with a few too many tails and a flatter than normal face, sat in the glass. She licked her paw absentmindedly, before opening one curious eye to look out at us all. Straightening herself out, and arching her back in a stretch, she mewled, “Well, well. They always do come back.”
Oh dang. Her. In hindsight, I really should’ve mentioned to Luna about that run in with the Mirror Sisters I had a while back. Which didn’t end so well for me…
“Can it with the snark!” I hissed, glancing over my shoulder. Cerberus was getting antsy. I also heard some distant chuckling as well. I couldn’t see far past the gates, but I knew who was on the other side. That guy should really pay for better lighting some time. “We need a way in!”
The spritely creature in the mirror looked over Luna’s shoulder, and scowled prettily. “Oh. You brought him. And… is that?” Her eyes shot up as she recognized Celestia, and she turned her attentions to the younger sister. “Are you crazy?! She can’t come in here! I thought you were the sensible one! And… where the hell is your armor?”
Luna sighed, and tapped the glass gently. “Listen, Sister Myr. We need a way in. We’re kind of sitting at the entrance to Tartarus with the Mirror Portal, and Cerberus kind of has a taste for Discord’s flesh already. Something about a lost tooth making its way into his kibble.”
“So that’s what you did with it!” I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Luna.
Celestia groaned and shook her head mildly. “Listen, I have no patience for dealing with who you think important or sensible, spirit. I require entrance into Tirelic. If you do not grant me it, I shall search for some other way to enter myself.” The low growl from Cerberus directly behind them, followed by even more insidious chuckling from beyond the gates, made all of our spines shiver. “We need an answer post haste, if you don’t mind.”
Sister Myr looked about at the motley crew of divine beings, and huffed, pouting. She leveled one last glance at Luna before disappearing and making room for us to enter. “Somebody better rub the bejeesus outta my tummy for this,” her voice echoed as we all followed her in.
“You can do it with my dismembered spine,” I muttered, taking another glance back. My last sight before entering the ruins of the universe, of course, had to be the gates lead to the land of the most wicked of souls. “Well, at least this time I’m on the other side of them,” I said, following the group through the portal.