//------------------------------// // A cheerful and happy depression // Story: Payne-full Realization // by Ezbok58a //------------------------------// Max Payne and all related materials belonging to it are property of Rockstar Games My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic belongs to Hasbro, I in no way make any profit from this story. This is a story of my own strange mind that I wish to share with the rest of you. A special thanks to ATung231 for his awesome proof-reading for this chapter, which is now 20% cooler and more readable! Payne-full Realization By Ezbok58a Chapter 4: A cheerful and happy depression For this first section, in order to fully get into the mood I do suggest reading it while this: http://youtu.be/WpzfV8OtLHI it is not necessary but I feel it helps capture some more of the traditional Max Payne feel. Enjoy! -------- Sleep that night came easy; it always has. But the nightmares? Those varied… I haven’t had a nightmare like this in about five years. It was almost refreshing to have my mind torturing me with my haunted and broken past. But what I saw was not welcoming me with open arms like you’d welcome home a son or brother who just came back from a long trip. Instead, these images in my mind stood there with weapons, ready to tear me apart. Ah, nightmares…I’ve forgotten how horrifyingly miserable you make me feel. The twisted and familiar walls of the house Michelle and I used to live in spun into focus, a dream that I constantly wished I could forget. But like all things in my subconscious, I felt the need to torture myself yet again. I took two steps into the twisted memory when the phone on the end table started to ring. I hesitantly answered it. “Is this the Payne Residence?” Nicole Horne, the woman responsible for the death of my wife and child…her words still stung me to the core even to this day. So far, this nightmare was playing out as they always did. “Max! Where are you, Max? MAX!?!” The new voice coming through the receiver was Fabiana’s: the last words of hers I heard when Passos and I tried to rescue her from the Tiete river stronghold she was held at several days ago. Before I could answer her pleas, the room shifted violently about. The receiver disappeared from my hand and before I knew it, I was in the unfinished lobby of Vlad’s restaurant. “Payne?! Oh Fuck! Kill him, kill the cop!” Vinnie Gognitti, another long lost voice. He and his goons soon began rushing me in the slow motion world that was my subconscious. Thankfully, my trusty Beretta was right there with me as the deadly dance started. Bullets were flying, blood was spraying, and bodies were hitting the floor as all the life drained from their being. Then I turned to look at Vinnie… …only he was dressed in the last thing I ever saw him in: a captain Baseball Bat Boy outfit that Vlad affixed explosives to. “Payne! You gotta help me!” His head exploded in a mass of confetti and plastic parts. My world spun around me as I once again found myself in the hallway leading to my child Rose’s room. “The flesh…the flesh of fallen angels…” I started running as I heard the baby’s cries, the hallway stretched out in an impossibly long distance as the Valkyr junkies’ words echoed through my head. The hallway twisted and turned as the puffy clouds on the sky blue wallpaper suddenly became stained with blood. One final turn and there I was… The same grizzly scene I came upon all those years ago, front and center. Rose, my daughter…dead in her overturned crib. I heard Michelle’s cries from the adjacent bedroom. I turned from the ghastly scene and rushed through the door. There was the last junkie, and Michelle, shot dead on the bed. “THE FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS!” The last words the junkie ever spoke as a bullet from my gun punched a hole in his skull. Before his lifeless body even hit the plush carpeting of our bedroom, I was already by Michelle’s side. “You’re a real Angel, Max…” My world twisted around yet again. Now I was standing in between Mona Sax and Valerie Winterson on the edge of a construction site in the pouring rain. “Back off, Payne!” Another haunting scene of my past I wished I forgot. “Wait, don’t do this!” “She’s here to kill me…” “No!” The gunshot rung drowned out the sound of falling rain as I watched Winterson fall to the ground. I slowly turned back to Mona, who wore no expression. “Come on, Max…” Suddenly, I was in Alfred Woden’s Mansion watching Mona fall to the ground. “Max, dearest of all my friends…” Vlad. Before I could even do anything, the world faded to black as I heard voices all around me. “Run, Payne, Run!” “I just want my wife back…” “This is Sao Paulo, Brother. It could be anyone…” “MAX! WHERE ARE YOU, MAX?!” I grabbed the sides of my head, hoping to drown the voices out, but they just kept assailing me. Joining them in their assault was the growing knocking sound. That wonderful sound finally broke my nightmare and brought me to the waking world… ------ The repetitive knocking brought me out of dream land and back to the bright and colorful hell I thought I’d left behind. Even in the Library wing that those ponies said I could sleep in, it was too damn bright for my liking. The knocking persisted. “I’m up…for Christ’s sake…” I finally said, rubbing my face. The door eventually opened and two unfamiliar ponies walked in. They looked like a ponified version of the Praetorian Guard. There was a white one with wings, and the other one was black with reptilian eyes and bat-like features. “I told you he was up, Private…”The white one said, looking over to the dark coated one. “What the hell are you two, and why does that one have those eyes and wings?” The dark coated one growled at me as it narrowed its reptilian eyes. A mutant horse like that in this world doesn’t really fit in. I kept looking at it until the white one spoke. “I’m Sergeant Wind Shear of the Royal Guard. This is Private Updraft, also of the Royal Guard. His appearance is because he is part of the ‘Night Guard’, serving under Princess Luna.” “That still doesn’t explain why he looks like his parents were a pony and a bat. Is that even possible?” “I’ll have you know, human, that my appearance is what was decreed by Princess Luna for all of her Night Guards…” the Dark pony hybrid answered. “So she turns you into a Pony Bat. Doesn’t that seem a little cruel to you?” “Of course not, I look absolutely terrifying! The Princess of the Night would like her guards to have more intimidating features than the regular Royal Guard.” “But you look like a failed science experiment.” “I assure you, Mr. Payne, that our appearances are all they are. It’s taken care of by our armor. Private Updraft here doesn’t actually look like a Bat-Pony…nor is his normal color that dark gray. And I do not have blue eyes, a blue mane, or a white coat. A uniformed guard wears the colors he’s been given. Or in our case, enchanted armor.” The Sergeant answered. I was quite familiar with uniforms. I wore one until I made Detective. I never expected pony uniforms to be eerily similar, yet so different. “So that explains that, but why are you here?” I had a feeling they weren’t here for my autograph, but with only two of them, I didn’t think they were here to hang me. “Well, Mr. Payne, given the events of last night…” Then again, I could be wrong… “…the Princesses believe it’s best to get to know you better. The Bearers of the Elements will be accompanying you for this trip and stay at the castle.” “Wait a second…how the hell do you know my name?” “Mr. Payne, did you really expect your actions last night to go unnoticed? Who do you think investigated what happened while you were busy sleeping?” I narrowed my eyes at the Sergeant. He had a point, but I was never one who liked surprises. And having two ponies of the royal guard know me definitely qualifies as a surprise. “Alright, Sergeant, let’s say you’re right. Just who exactly are these ‘Bearers of the Elements’ you speak of, and what exactly are they bearing?” A small smirk played across both the Private and Sergeant’s faces, and they shared a knowing glance before the Sergeant decided to clue me in to the inside joke I wasn’t aware of. “The Bearers of the Elements are the six mares you met when you showed up in Equestria. They bear the Elements of Harmony, six elements that, when put together, are the most powerful weapon in Equestria…” “Even a foal knows about the Elements of Harmony and their bearers…” the Private chuckled. “News flash, Private: Does it look like I belong here? Have you ever had to deal with three dead wooden animals before I showed up in this colorful hell you live in?” My voice had an edge to it, and it was apparently wearing into the Private as I watched his eyes go from confident to worried. No matter what world you’re from, a rookie is still a rookie. “Yes, Mr. Payne. No need to get upset. We have a carriage outside for your trip. I suggest you pack light.” The Sergeant chuckled as they left the room. I didn’t like what this trip implied. Randomly being uprooted to meet the leaders of this land after I killed three creatures doesn’t tell me I’ll be getting a medal or parade for my actions. If anything, I expected to be placed in jail and executed before sundown. At least police humor also crossed the worldly gap… I suggest you pack light… All I had were the clothes on my back and the gun on my chest. I’d say I was packed and ready to go. And with that, I headed out the door into the main area of the library. The first thing I noticed was missing was my jugs of alcoholic cider. I reached into my pocket and decided that since I couldn’t use my one vice, the other would have to pick up the slack. I downed a few pills as I walked to the front door and was greeted by the blinding light of the morning sun. Sure enough, there was a golden carriage waiting outside with two royal guards already hooked into the front harnesses. The front two spots remained open, I’m guessing for the two that paid me a visit earlier. But that wasn’t what drew my attention… What did were the six ponies and dragon that were staring at me as I exited the library. It was like some terrible creature showed up outside and they all froze in fear. After what happened last night, I could hardly blame them. Fluttershy was doing her best to hide behind her hair instead of looking at me. The only one who did look me in the eyes was Twilight, and what I saw in those eyes was full of what could either be sadness, remorse, or possibly both. I showed these ponies my true self, a killer with a tool that was capable of ending lives. A tool I still had strapped to my chest. And now I was going to be in a carriage with them heading up to see the rulers of this land. Sure, there was nothing about this world that told me that I’d be executed, but when you’ve been stuck in a backstabbing, murdering, and cold world like my own, you become jaded. You don’t see the good in people anymore. All you see is how they could fuck you over and leave you for dead. Eventually, the group decided to continue with what they were doing. I was left to my own devices until we were ready to leave, so I decided to wisely lean against the tree and take part in another vice that made the journey with me…smoking. Thankfully, my cigarettes and lighter survived the ordeal so I was able to indulge myself in my third favorite vice. I took a long drag off of the cigarette as I heard approaching hoof beats to my right. Not wanting to give these ponies another reason to hate me, I quickly expelled the smoke upwards before I turned to the source of the noise. Right in front of me was that mint green unicorn Lyra, her ears flat against her head and her face full of sadness. “Hi, Max…” She absently kicked at the ground as she forced a smile. “Hey, Lyra…” An awkward silence hovered over us, neither of us knowing where to take this conversation. It didn’t take long for Lyra to break the silence. “I’m…I’m not going with you guys to Canterlot…” she said sadly. I took another drag on my cigarette before I answered. “Is it because of what happened last night?” “No…well, yes…it’s complicated…” She still kicked at the dirt as she talked. “Believe me, I know…” I knew all too well this was complicated. I’m a man in a world I don’t belong in and I killed three creatures…it doesn’t get any more complicated than that. “I appreciate what you did for us Max…I really do. But…” I waited for the other shoe to drop, or being in this place, it was probably the other hoof to drop. Dammit, I’m here one day and I’m already picking up on how they talk and refer to things… She kept her eyes low and away from me, not wanting to even look at me as she continued on. There was no way I could blame the sweet little Unicorn for her choice. I’m probably one of the most evil things to come into this world, and not surprisingly I’ve ended up scaring a few of them. “Sorry…this is harder than I thought…” she chuckled slightly as she finally brought her eyes up to me. “For what it’s worth, Lyra, I don’t blame you for not going wherever the hell I’m going. This world of yours isn’t used to housing someone like me.” “Someone like you…I think you’re wrong.” I raised an eyebrow as I exhaled more of the toxic smoke, flicking the ash off the end of the cigarette. Lyra caught my expression and a small smile appeared on her face. “It isn’t you. It isn’t even what you did, but it’s the suddenness and how you did it that’s a concern.” I chuckled. I found what she was telling me hard to believe. “In case you didn’t notice Max, we’re a very non-violent land…most of the time.” “What about the rest of that time?” I asked. I was having a hard time buying her story. Then again, I did see the Royal Guards so they do have some semblance of authority and peacekeeping I could at least marginally relate to. But still, I found it hard to believe these pastel ponies get into fights resulting in injury or death. “Well, we’ve never had any pony die, if that’s what you’re asking. But we’ve had some from outside attack Canterlot with dark intentions. The bearers of the elements did fight off a large group of them. Changelings, I believe they were…so, yes. As hard as it is for you to believe, it does happen.” Lyra’s nervousness was all but gone by now. She was almost exactly like she was yesterday when I first met her. “With the Elements of Harmony going with you to Canterlot to see the Princesses, there’s really no need for me to tag along. I’d be the third wheel, unsure of what to do…” I laughed. “Technically you’d be the 8th wheel but I get your point.” She rolled her eyes as she tried to not laugh. It was cute really. Apparently, two days in this colorful land was actually warming my heart out of the cold cynicism it was stuck in for the past eight or so years. “I’ve also got things to do around town, things I can’t just abandon. I’m not sure how those six manage, being called away so many times.” “I’m sure they’ve got a system worked out.” By now, my cigarette was almost down to the filter. I took one last drag on it before I snuffed it out on the tree trunk. I figured all that had to be said between us had been said, and I was never a fan of continuing an awkward conversation. “Well, Lyra, I guess this is goodbye for now…” “Yeah, you take care of yourself, Max. And try to stay out of trouble.” Lyra said with a smile. When did I ever need to stay out of trouble? Trouble always found me. I ran my hand through her mane, giving her a pat on the head before she turned and left. I smirked as she walked away, catching the attention of one of the ‘Private’s’ who was going to be pulling this carriage up to Canterlot. “Um, Max darling…” I turned my attention away from Lyra and over to my left. Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie were standing there looking at me curiously. I had the feeling that I was going to be questioned about last night quite a few times. “Yeah?” “Now, is it true about what ya’ did last night to save our friends?” Applejack asked. “It’s true.” There was a silence in the air as Applejack eyed me cautiously before she finally spoke again. “Well, I’m convinced.” “Really, just like that?” Rarity asked her. “Well, I am the element of honesty…” “I thought that just means you’re honest, not that you can tell if others are being honest?” Pinkie asked, rubbing a hoof on the back of her neck. “And quite honestly, you’re a terrible liar anyway.” Rarity added. I chuckled slightly at the sight of them bickering. Even I couldn’t be convinced, as fast as Applejack was, and I was a cop for several years. I decided to interrupt them once it looked like it was going to get heated. “Look, we were attacked by a bunch of wooden wolves who wanted to eat us for dinner. One of them lunged at us after kicking Fluttershy, so I put it down. The others took off and I pursued them. I caught up to them by the library where they were cornered. I did what I felt I had to do…” “Okie Dokie Lokie! That’s good enough for me!” Pinkie exclaimed as she started back towards the carriage. “Uh, well…if Pinkie is convinced, then so am I.” Rarity said. “I do apologize for this questioning, Max. I’m sure we’re not the only ones who will be asking about last night.” Rarity added with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. At this point I’m used to it.” “See, I told ya he was tellin’ the truth.” Applejack said happily. Applejack hung around a little longer, caught up in her gloating so much, she didn’t realize Rarity left already. I had to ask her about my missing booze. “Hey, Applejack, you have any idea where those containers you brought over yesterday went?” She turned back to me, bringing a front hoof up to her chin as if she had to think about what I asked her. “Oh that? They loaded it onto the carriage already…uh, why?” “No reason. Just asking.” She looked at me skeptically before she shook her head and trotted towards the carriage. “Sure. Not like you might’ve been thirsty at all.” she looked back at me with a smirk, proud of herself for figuring out why I was asking. I rolled my eyes. There was too much cuteness in this goddamn world. I haven’t felt this out of place since I arrived in Brazil. At this point, it looked like they had everything loaded up and was waiting for me to join them, at least from the look the Sergeant was giving me. Hell, I wonder what the ranking system is like for the Royal Guard. With ranks like Private and Sergeant , it sounded more like a military ranking than a police force, but as I’ve found out, nothing in this world makes a whole lot of sense to someone who doesn’t actually belong here. As I started walking towards the carriage, I saw Spike walking to me from Twilight. He slowed his walk down until he was standing right in front of me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t figure out how to word it. Eventually, some words escaped his mouth. “Um…hey Max, nice weather we’re having, right?” I humored him by taking the bait. “Yeah, really nice and bright outside.” The uneasy silence settled on Spike as he nervously looked about, trying to figure out where to go next. “Aren’t you going with us, Spike?” “Nah, I usually don’t go with them on trips like this. Besides, someone needs to look after the library while Twilight is gone, and between you and me, I like to sleep in when she isn’t around.” “Sounds nice. I noticed everyone seems a little jumpy around me today.” “Oh, you noticed that?” “I can’t say I blame them…” Another silence settled between the two of us before Spike broke the built-up tension. “Look, Max. For what it’s worth, I don’t blame you for doing what you did. But I don’t think many here agree with your methods.” “Yeah…I can tell.” “I’m sure the princesses understand. Hey, maybe they even know how to send you back.” For someone who’s supposed to be a baby, Spike seemed to be a very wise dragon. He knew exactly what to say to alleviate my building anxiety. “You know, you sure know a lot for your age.” “I’ll take that as a compliment…I think.” I chuckled. “Yeah, that’s a compliment, Spike. You take care of yourself, then.” “I will. You do the same, Max.” With a wave, Spike headed back into the library. I figured now that I’ve delayed the inevitable for as long as I could, I finally made my way to the others by the carriage. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all looked at me with worry in their eyes. “Hey, Max. We’re all ready, just waiting on you.” Rainbow said as she rubbed the back of her neck nervously. Fluttershy hid behind her mane, refusing to look at me and Twilight was busy looking at everything but me. I sighed. I was going to be doing a lot of explaining today. “Look, I’m sorry you all saw what I did last night. Where I’m from, that’s what you do to protect people from imminent danger like that.” “Max, we know.” Twilight said, her voice barely above a whisper. I stared at her for a moment. Before, she could barely look me in the eye. Now she was looking right at me, as if trying to peer into my soul. I didn’t know what she was looking for, or if she’d find it. At this point, I don’t even know if my soul is something people should look at. “You know?” I was skeptical that she actually knew that any of them actually knew… “Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy told me what you told them before you reached Fluttershy’s house, and while we don’t have many instances of…what you did, I can understand why you acted like you did. Honestly, you saved their lives.” By now, the rest of the group was gathered around Twilight, all with their ears flat against their heads and their eyes shimmering in the light of the day. I didn’t really know what that meant, but they definitely didn’t look happy. I could read it in each of their faces: sad for the loss of the wooden wolves, sad for me, sad for what happened. This wasn’t what I was expecting. Who the hell was I fooling, anyway? I didn’t know what to expect from this world anymore, and I’ve only been here a total of one damn day. What the hell would happen in a week? All I knew is that it was a cheerful and happy depression I’ve put not only myself in, but also these six ponies. Par for the course, I told myself. Bringing creatures that didn’t know death and violence on my level to my world. Their innocence is forever ruined by my actions. Goddamn this place and its cuteness. I need a fucking drink. “So, I’m finally going to meet your Princesses?” That seemed to snap most of them out of the funk they were in. Especially Twilight, who perked up. “Uh yes, she summoned for you last night after…well, you know. Anyway, they wanted to meet you first thing today!” She was excited. Even a blind man could tell by the way her voice raised that she was looking forward to this. “You know it’s almost noon, right Twi’?” Applejack asked. “Well, would you want to wake him up after what happened last night?” Rainbow Dash whispered to Applejack, only not as quietly as she thought. “You know I can hear you, right?” Rainbow froze, her face becoming red as she realized I caught her. A sheepish smile crossed her face while Applejack chuckled at her friend’s predicament. “So, I take it we’re going to be flown there?” I asked as I eyed the carriage with the four Royal Guards hooked into the harnesses. “That’s affirmative. The Princesses trusted us to take you lot to the Castle. You got the stomach for flight, human?” Sergeant Wind Shear asked with a grin. I was tempted to ask him if he ever zip-lined while holding onto someone while shooting several of his buddies on the other side of the Panama Canal, but doing so would just result in confused stares and not conveying what I actually wanted to say correctly. So I kept my mouth shut as I climbed into the carriage. “Don’t do anything stupid, Sergeant. I’m pretty sure I can take out a flying horse if it came to it.” I said as I stared at the Sergeant. His gaze mirrored mine before he nodded. Different worlds, different species, and yet, still the same way of showing respect. I could probably write a book about this and make a fortune, but it’d probably end up in the science-fiction section, so I won’t. Behind me, the rest of the ponies piled into the carriage, getting the Sergeant’s attention. “Are we all set back there?” They group nodded their heads in agreement. It was then I suddenly realized the lack of seat belts inside the carriage. It looked like I’d just have to hold onto the carriage itself. “Ok, men, let’s get a move on!” The other pegasi guards started flapping their wings with the Sergeant and after a short taxi on the ground, we were airborne and banking towards the city of Canterlot. I could see the city in the distance; it was perched on a mountainside, almost as if it was glued on the mountainside itself. The flight was quiet, as if the group of friends didn’t want to talk and remained quiet until we arrived at the castle. I used the time to look outside the window and get a view of the land I somehow ended up in. Colorful was putting it mildly, as my experiences yesterday proved. What I didn’t expect was the sheer vastness of this place. It was massive. It had to be if it was ruled by two Princesses. I was used to a different kind of colorful, the kind where there were drugs, hookers, and gangs out there to kill you if you so much as looked at them funny. I wasn’t used to actually colorful…colors, I’d guess. I wondered about the creatures they have here. Mythical creatures from old Greek stories are probably the norm here, the likes of Cerberus and Hydras to equal out the cheerful and happy Ponies. I’m sure that where I was currently heading would have all the answers I didn’t know I wanted. I spent the rest of the flight looking over at the landscape that was Equestria, taking in all the rolling hills, soaring mountains, and the ever-growing city of Canterlot. The place was something out of a fairy tale, meaning it fit in with the rest of the world. The towers of the castle were nearly as tall as the mountain it was attached to. Its stark white stone façade stood out against the gray mountainside. It looked like a city full of the high society people I hated. They’re always walking around with their noses up in the air, ignoring the “commoners,” as they called them, as they went to eat their fancy and overpriced food or sitting by the fire in their overpriced houses. I worked for those people and the only redeeming feature was the free supply of scotch I got. Here, I didn’t think I’d be as fortunate. The carriage banked right as the pegasi guards headed towards the castle that dominated the city. We were on final approach to the castle, judging by how excited the rest of the passengers became. I looked down at the courtyard of the castle and spotted three figures that were awaiting our arrival. I had a hunch that at least two of the figures down there were the Princesses themselves, and if that was true, they clearly had a height advantage over the rest of their subjects. Within moments, the Pegasi had us mere feet from the welcoming party while they pulled a move similar to something Passos would pull in his helicopter before they settled down on the walkway with the entrance to the castle on my right. Either this was standard landing procedure or the Sergeant wanted to show off for me. “Is our human cargo back there any worse for wear, private?” Wind Shear asked the dark coated Private next to him. “Smoothest flight I’ve had in days, Sergeant…” I said as I leaned forward towards the four Pegasi “See that, men? You performed admirably.” The grin on the Sergeant’s face did nothing to change the rest of the flight crew’s faces. Who would’ve thought that in this peaceful land, they would have a strict military, or whatever the hell these guards were, standards like those back home. By now, the six ponies disembarked the carriage and headed to meet our welcoming party. My assumptions were right. If these two weren’t royalty, I don’t know what is. They were definitely taller than the average citizen, easily dwarfing the pony in between them. The one to my left was white colored with wings and a horn, while the one on the right was dark blue. I heard them call them some special name, but for the moment, it escaped me. They were busy with their introductions, so me being the gentlemen that I am, I took my time exiting the carriage to meet the rulers of this fair land. “Twilight Sparkle, it’s good to see you and your friends here.” “Glad we could make it, Princess. Although I wish it was under better circumstances.” “I know, Twilight; sometimes these things can’t be helped. Although I know someone here who might be able to cheer you up…” The white one looked to the pony in the center. I got a good look at this one now. Its’ armor was a different color than the Pegasus guards, and assuming it was a he, he had a horn. “Twily!” “Twily?” I asked as I came upon the group. Applejack put a hoof up to her face as she whispered to me. “He’s Twilight’s B.B.B.F.F.” I raised an eyebrow. Apparently, teenage acronyms were also normal amongst the pony folk. Rainbow Dash then came up beside me, seeing my blank stare. “Big brother best friend forever…” Rainbow Dash added. “What, are you all teenagers?” “Well, actually-“ “And this must be the human my sister’s told me so much about…” I looked up at the regal white creature that was standing before me, a slight grin across her face that was mirrored by the darker blue one. I didn’t pay attention to how tall these two actually were compared to the others. Must be the lack of alcohol in my system as I’m normally keen to spot these kinds of things. Turns out the white one was as tall as a normal horse, just having to dip her head slightly to look me in the eyes. “Oh, forgive me. I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself. My name is Princess Celestia.” She held her front leg out. It didn’t take a genius to see that she was going for a hand or arm shake with me. Not one to make lousy first impressions, I gently grabbed her leg and gave it a slight shake. “Max. Max Payne.” As I let go, something she said before came to the forefront of my attention. “Wait, your sister? How does your sister know about me?” Her smile never left her face as she motioned over to the darker blue one. “My sister Luna was the one to arrive in Ponyville after the incident last night.” The dark blue one, Luna, bowed her head before she spoke. “Indeed, Mr. Payne, we have much to discuss.” “About what happened last night with the wolves?” “…much to discuss…” I didn’t like what she was insinuating, ‘much to discuss?’ What the hell is she up to? Why does it involve me? The rabbit hole was getting deeper, and I was just along for the ride until I smashed face first into the bottom. I didn’t know what fresh hell waited for me down there. “We’ll deal with that later, of course. This here is the Captain of the Royal Guard, Shining Armor.” The unicorn with the purple and gold armor between the two royal sisters nodded his head as he extended a leg for me to shake. The fact that they knew about handshakes (or hoof shakes) and humans in general reminded me that perhaps that is what Luna wanted to discuss. I still was on edge by her tone, though. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Max. Is it ok if I call you Max?” Shining Armor asked. “Doesn’t bother me one bit.” “Wonderful! Now that all the introductions are over, let us retreat to the castle so we can get to know each other better.” Celestia said. “Doesn’t that sound good, Mr. Payne?” Luna asked. Again, her tone of voice set alarms off in my head. Something was in store for me, and I was certain that I wasn’t going to like it. “So long as you have something to drink, it’ll be fine.” I stared at her for a moment longer, trying to read what her intentions for me were. She’s definitely done this before, but I could read a brick wall easier than reading her. Well, nothing I could do but go along for the ride. “Great, although before we go, I do have something to ask.” Shining Armor said. Already, I could tell this wasn’t going to be good. “Mr. Payne, I’m going to have to ask for your weapon, please.” I was right; this wasn’t going to be good at all.