//------------------------------// // Real Friends // Story: Equestrian Anthology // by Shingo //------------------------------// Four ponies stood in Pinkie Pie’s room. Two of them had looks of confusion on their faces, one was smiling, and the final pony had a look of pure terror in their eyes. In front of them were four inanimate objects: a bucket of turnips, a pile of rocks, a sack of flour, and a large pile of lint. All of the objects had party hats on their “heads”. “Pinkie,” Fluttershy said. “didn’t you say that there were four special ponies that you wanted us to meet?” “I said that there were four special friends that I wanted you all to meet,” Pinkie replied. “I never said they were ponies.” “None of these things are alive though,” Twilight deadpanned. “How can they be your friends? Unless they’re imaginary.” Pinkie giggled in response. “They’re not imaginary,” she said. “They’re just as alive as you or me. Now, introduce yourselves to each other, I have to go help Mrs. Cake with the cake. I need it done before the Applejack and Rarity get here.” Pinkie trotted down the stairs leading into Sugar Cube Corner leaving the three other ponies alone. When the door closed, the third pony began acting hysterical. “Oh this is bad,” Rainbow Dash panicked. “Very very bad.” “Rainbow you’re over reacting,” Twilight said. “Besides, it’s Fluttershy’s job to panic, not yours.” Said pony gave Twilight a very brief look of indignation. “You don’t understand,” Rainbow said. “Remember how last year I had to drag Pinkie to AJ’s barn?” Her friends nodded. “When I came here to pick Pinkie up, she was having a party with inanimate objects, THESE inanimate objects. Do you know what this means?” “That Pinkie has an overactive imagination?” “That Pinkie reverts back into a childish state with imaginary friends when she feels depressed?” “No! It means that Pinkie’s lost it again!” “We would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about Pinkie that way,” a gruff male voice said. All of the ponies in the room looked around. The voice seemed to be coming from in front of them, but there was no one there. “We’re right in front of you dumb ponies,” a male voice with a lower Manehattan accent said. All three ponies jumped in surprise. The four inanimate objects began advancing towards them. Twilight’s expression took one of curiosity, Fluttershy cowered under her mane, and Rainbow Dash got up in a defensive stance. The pile of lint made a gesture and the four objects stopped. “Pardon my earthen friend over there,” he said with a cultured voice. “He does not like it when others can’t see the obvious. Before we continue, allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Sir Lints A Lot.” The ball of lint somehow gave a bow. He then gestured towards the other objects. “And these are my friends. Rocky.” The rocks jumped. “Mr. Turnip.” The bucket of turnips shook itself. “And this is…” “Bonjour, je m’appelle Mme. Le Flour,” the sack of flour said with a high pitched French accent. “Comment ça-va?" The three ponies blinked. Mr. Turnip somehow managed a cough. “Her name is Madame Le Flour,” he said. All three ponies had looks of confusion on their faces. “How are the four of you alive?” Twilight asked. “That is not important right now,” Madame Le Flour replied. “What is important is our pink friend. What is she to you?” “What do you mean?” Rainbow asked. “It’s a simple question you chump,” Rocky snorted. Rainbow Dash pushed her face into what she assumed was his face. “Who are you calling a chump, chump?” she fumed. “Well it ain’t the two land based ponies over there, so I guess that leaves you doesn’t it?” “Say that again you…” “Gentlemen, and ladies,” Sir Lints A Lot intervened. “now’s not the time. Perhaps we should explain. Pinkie Pie is a very close friend to us. Without her we would not exist.” All of the objects nodded in agreement. “Without us,” Mr. Turnip said. “Pinkie would not have been happy at the rock farm.” “We provide her comfort and friendship,” Rocky said. “We protect her from all the bad things out there, and she is very dear to all of us.” Rocky pushed his way past Rainbow Dash and stood in front of the other two ponies. “Exactly a year ago to this date, Pinkie came to us,” Rocky explained. “She was very hurt. She said that her friends had abandoned her, left her alone on her special day.” Rocky somehow acquired a menacing look and gave it to Twilight and Fluttershy. “Care to explain why?” Fluttershy continued to cower under her mane while Twilight became nervous. “W-we were planning a surprise party,” she stuttered. “We had to keep Pinkie away or else it would ruin the surprise. We didn’t mean to hurt her like that.” Rocky continued glaring at her. Mr. Turnip hopped to Rocky and hit the back of his head. “We’re aware of what your intentions were that day,” he said. Rocky glared at Mr. Turnip. “That’s not what we’re concerned about. We’re more concerned about what will happen to Pinkie down the line.” “Oui,” Madame Le Flour said. “Pinkie is very fragile. We need to know that her friends will care for her as much as we do.” “So,” Sir Lints A Lot began. “we ask again: what is she to you? A joke? A knight? Or your lover?” The three ponies looked at each other. “I can’t speak for anypony else,” Fluttershy said. “but to me, she’s a very close friend. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her.” “To me,” Rainbow began. “she’s my best friend. I’ll protect her from anypony who tries to hurt her. And those who do will have to answer to me.” All of the objects looked at each other, nodding in agreement. Rocky turned to Twilight. “And you?” Twilight nervously tapped the floor. “Well,” she said. “Pinkie holds a special place in my heart and I...” Her voice descended into barely audible noise. Rocky pushed his face to Twilight’s. “Say that again.” A blush appeared on Twilight’s face. “I said that after the party today that I...” Again, her voice became muffled. “Am I going to have to beat the answer out of you?” Twilight tightly closed her eyes. “I’M GOING TO ASK HER OUT!” she screamed. Everyone in the room, pony and inanimate object alike, stared at her. Twilight tapped the floor, blush still on her face. “I,” she began. “I care for Pinkie more than any of you could possibly imagine. Whenever I see her, my steps feel lighter. Her laughter is beautiful music to me. She makes the world a brighter place.” The objects looked at each other. “So what is Pinkie to me?” she continued. “She’s someone I want to care for. She’s the candle in the darkness. She means everything to me. And I would do anything to make her smile.” Rocky and Mr. Turnip returned to their friends and all of them, despite not having faces, smiled. “That is exactly what we were looking for,” Sir Lints A Lot said. “We trust that you three will take good care of Pinkie?” The three ponies nodded. “Then we have nothing to worry about,” Mr. Turnip said. “But know this.” All four of the objects grew in size and towered over the ponies. All of their eyes widened in fear. “If any of you intentionally hurt Pinkie,” Madame Le Flour said. “Know that we will make you pay dearly. Know that the worst thing you can imagine will look like eternal bliss when we come to collect your payment.” “Capicé?” All three ponies nodded their heads. The objects returned to their regular size. Sir Lints A Lot cleared his throat. “Very good. Now, Pinkie told us she had five close friends. Would you mind handling introductions when the other two get here?”