Can't This Day Get Any Weirder?
"Ahahahaha," a maniacal laugh came from the strange figure standing in front of Soto.
"Who are you?" Soto questioned the figure "Are you the one that sent me that message?"
"Yes, indeed I was. It's just perfect. I didn't have the power to break free from my imprisonment, so I was only able to sit and watch as all the foals of the land run around laughing and playing. There was just no fun in that, so I reached for all the magic I could conjure to show me someone I could cause the discord I wanted to see, and it lead me straight to you!" He finished pointing at me, and before I could say something back, he continued on. "I wasn't able to do this right away because I used all my energy just to find you, so I had to wait another three months, or so, just to send you this offer."
"So you are a villain? That is what I hear clear as day. What do you want from me? Are you trying to get me to release you from you confinement? Why can't you--" Soto was interrupted by the sound of someone snapping their finger. A, what looked like, sketchbook appeared in the figure's right hand and a quill in his left.
"To save you the bother of asking I will answer all your questions, and in return you will answer my questions." With that he began writing some stuff down in the book. A few minutes of silence went by before the figure started to talk. "Yes, I am very much a villain, but as of right now, I am just searching for something to entertain me. You are simply just a show for me to watch while I am suck in my prison, and no, you do not hold any good enough power to help release me from here. I can try to gain power to break out myself, but that, itself, takes a large amount of years. It hasn't been that long since I got imprisoned, but before I start mustering up some power to break free and cause more destruction, I need some entertainment to keep me laughing for the rest of my time. You happen to be that person, congratulations!" He exclaimed throwing his arms in the air before continuing. "Now, what is your name?"
"You know my name..." Soto said, irritated that it would ask a question that it knows the answer to.
He started writing on his book again. "Okay, what is your favorite color?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Black and red, okay. This is going so well, I know exactly what to do. How old are you?"
"I am not going to answer that," Soto replied while thinking of how he figured out what his favorite colors were.
"19!? Whoa, you look younger than that. What a twist!" It said with a malicious smile on his face. "Now that you have- wake up- this is what you will be seen as on your way to- wake up-" It showed Soto the picture it drew, but he noticed that he said wake up twice, which was completely out of context.
"What? You aren't making sense right now."
"Well that's because you are waking up right now. Now, I will be watching from this point on, and if you want to talk to me, just go to sleep. We will talk in your dreams about- wake up-. Now I will go. Have a wonderful time!" Before another word could be spilled, it disappeared into thin air.
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Not only was Soto annoyed by the random dream about his "anonymous messenger", which he was hope a good nights rest would clear him the the shear stupidity of the message, but there was this guy yelling in his ear telling him to wake up. Who does this guy this he is waking me up he thought to himself. And how in the hell did he get into my house. I know I locked the door, and I never open my windows at all. Bolting up from his sleep, Soto quickly turn to face the guy waking him up. "Will you shu..." Before he could finish his sentence, he found himself facing a stallion wearing armor of gold and blue. At first he thought it was the horse, and his owner would be sitting on top of the well fit stallion, but when he looked to find the owner, he wasn't around. He looked around his surroundings, noticing that he was not his house anymore, but, instead, he was laying on the greenest grass he has ever seen. It seemed to be perfectly trimmed to where there wasn't the slightest piece of grass that was cut unevenly.
“Sir,” he heard a voice said behind him. Turning to see what was calling his name, he only saw the stallion and nothing more. Looking behind the stallion, Soto half expected someone to be hiding behind it just pulling his leg, but no one was hiding behind, under, or over the stallion.
“What are you looking for?” Hearing the voice again, but, this time, it was ever so close to his ear. Soto jumped up in shock looking behind himself, yet again, to only see the stallion.
“What the buck?” Soto asked. Took him a few seconds to realize that he said buck instead of fuck. “What the buck?” he repeated to only gain the same results as before. “Buck, buck, buck! Dang nabbit!” He started to get irritated, being incapable of saying many words the way he has wanted them to come out. Now, it was as if he was not able to control the way he talks. “What are you looking at?” Soto asked the stallion, whom was just casually staring at him.
“I should be asking you why you are yelling at yourself,” the stallion replied in full volume. This made Soto fall to the ground with a big yelp. The stallion just looked at me with a confused look, but he shook it off as if nothing happened. “Anyways, you are sleeping in a restricted area, and I am going to have to take you in, as precautions, to be sure you are not a threat to Canterlot.”
“C-c-canterlot?” Soto stuttered looking at the Pegasus with disbelieve. “What the buck are you talking about!? Where am I? Why are you talking? What the buck is going on!? WHY ARE YOU TALKING!?”
The Pegasus started to stare at him blankly again. He thought Soto was some crazy pony, not that Soto knew he was a pony, yet. “Umm…” the Pegasus finally said after what seemed like hours of silence. “Canterlot is the city right over there,” he point toward a city hanging off a mountain in the distance before continuing. “I am saying you are not allowed to be here, and I will have to take you in to assure that you are not a spy, or a threat, to Equestria or the Princess. You are in the Flowing Meadows of Starswirled. I am talking because I was taught to talk by my parents? I am taking you in to Princess Celestia to verify that you are not a threat, like I said early, and I already answered that question. Also, if I am not supposed to talk, then what does that make of you?” He pointed his hoof at me as if trying to show me something. Looking in his well polished armor, Soto only found his reflexion replaced with a pony. Instead of a human, there stood a colt with a deep red coat. His mane laid in black and red, while his tail flowed like a fire being consumed by the dark forces that surrounded it. Wings spread at full wing span and horn sharper than the spear the Pegasus, before him, held on his back, Soto realized that the pony standing in the reflexion of his own body was himself.
“Those were rhetorical questions,” Soto barked at the Pegasus in armor. “I didn’t need an answer, Mr. I-have-to-answer-to-every-question. What are you supposed to be anyways?”
“I am a Royal Guard to Princess Celestia,” he replied casually.
“Oh, Princess Celestia! Wow, that is amazing, and this is ‘the Flowing Meadow of Starswirled’?”
“That is correct?” he half questioned, wondering where he was going with these questions.
“Okay, so then this is supposed to be some sort of secret base, or historical landmark, or something like that? Just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”
“Yes.”
“Okay, good. Then, this turf is not to be destroyed in anyway?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so you would hate it if someone did something really brutal to this land? Like they would stomp and crush it. Here I will show you what I mean.” With that, Soto drove his hooves into the ground, and he started dragging them closer towards him revealing the earth beneath the grass. The guard snarled at him and started advancing.
“That’s the last straw!” he roared.
“Ha, let’s see you catch me then if you really are pissed.” He went to take off in a full neck sprint. He made it 5 feet before being stopped by his own hooves. Having no experience with trotting, or running, on four hooves, Soto tripped over his own hooves and fell face first into the grass.
“Caught you,” the Pegasus mocked as he tied Soto with some rope. Throwing him on his back, the Royal Guard began his way back to the city. “Now to take you to the Princess before you cause any more trouble.”
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Being carrier through the grand hall way of the Royal Canterlot Palace, Soto struggle to unbind himself, but it was found useless since the ropes were tied in a pattern he was not familiar with. It wasn’t the first time he has been tied up and taken somewhere, but it was different because he always knew how to get out of the ties. This time, he doesn’t know the pattern, more or less has pose able to do it like the other times, to break free from his confinement.
“Wow, you haven’t broken out of that yet?” the Royal Guard asked looking back to see Soto still struggling to get the rope untied. “That is a very basic knot that even a foal can get out of. You really are different, as if you aren’t from this place.”
“How did you know?” Soto asked sarcastically. “Was it when I tripped over myself that gave it away?”
Making it at the end of the hall way, the Pegasus dropped Soto on the ground next to him and untied the ropes just by pressing on the knot. Then, the Royal Guard took a bow as Soto tried to make his way to all fours, slipping on the clean, polished floors as he tried to get used to his new appearance.
“Welcome, young one, to Equestria,” Soto heard in front of him. Looking up from his focus to regain balance, his eyes came upon something that seemed to bring joy to him… mentally. He never showed that he was physically joyful. “My name is Princess Celestia, and I have heard some interesting things about you. What is your name?”
Soto didn’t speak a word as he looked at the princess with a curious eye. He would have been lost in thought forever if the guard hadn’t nudged him back into reality, letting out a small chuckle. “Oh, uh, hey,” he finally said, scratching his head, and almost losing balance. “I am Soto Konoha, and I don’t feel welcomed here.” He looked that the Pegasus Royal Guard, who just stood watching him intently.
“Oh, sorry about that Soto. You may excuse yourselves.” She said turning her attention toward the two guards at the door and the one next to me. They left the room with a bow and all that was left was Celestia, Soto, and another alicorn. “Also this is Luna, my younger sister. You seem a bit lost as to what is happening right now.”
“Yeah, everything is sort of hitting me all at once right now and it is getting annoying,” Soto replied calmly. “I don’t even belong here for that matter. I don’t know what is going on. First, I get a random message from some guy that talks in riddles. Then, I see him in my dreams, and…”
“Speaks in riddles thou say?” Luna interjected before he could continue on.
“Yeah, why, do you know him?”
“Sister?” Luna looked toward Celestia for an answer.
“Yes, it must have been Discord, and that would make sense on why you are here. You are from the… Human galaxy, is that correct?”
“Yes?”
“Do you mind filling us in on the situation?”
“How should I trust you that you won’t deceive me in anyway?” Soto asked knitting his eye brow.
“If you can fill us in on your situation, we might be able to figure out a solution to your problem and send you back to your home town.”
Soto paused and shrugged in agreement. This was probably the only way he thought he could get back to his world quicker. So he told the princesses his problem from the time he got home to the current hour. Princess Celestia later asked about Soto’s previous life and what his thoughts on his world were like. He hesitated, and later decided not to tell them anything about them, barking at them to mind their business. Even without telling her anything, Celestia may have already pinned pointed the riddle down to the letter, but she kept it to herself and decided there was another way for him to find out without her telling him.
“Well,” Celestia started “I wish I could continue this solution-making, but I have a lot of other work that I have to attend to. Also, you don’t have a place to stay. I can send you with my faithful student to Ponyville, and she, and her friends, can help you find a solution to your problems. She should be back soon from her errands, so you can depart as soon as within an hour.”
“Wait, I am not staying here?” Soto asked looking around the palace once more to see all it had to show.
“I am afraid not. I have many important businesses to care for. I am not saying that yours isn’t important, but I believe that Twilight and her friends will be able to assist you the most on your problem.”
“Twilight? That’s your student right? So I am stuck going to this ‘Ponyville’ to figure out the problem all by myself, but I am going to have to go there—“
As if on cue, Twilight Sparkle walks in, levitating a dozen bags full of food and other objects. “With that?” Twilight just looked up to notice that they were talking about her. She was planning on saying something, but the Princess beat her to it.
“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student,” she said with ease. “This is Soto Konoha, and he is a human from the other galaxy. It seems as though Discord has brought him here, leaving him with 7 days to find out what his intentions are, or he will throw Soto into eternal chaos. I need you, and your friends, to help Soto find out what his goal is supposed to be, so that he is capable of returning to his home world.”
“Wow,” Twilight only spoke before she finally got full grasp on the request Celestia gave her. “Princess, you can count on me to find a solution to this problem.” Turning toward Soto, she took a small bow. “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”
“Soto Konoha,” is all he said in a bit of a harsh tone that almost sounded like he was talking to someone he hated.
Twilight took half a step backwards from the intimidation. “It’s a pleasure meeting you,” she spoke in a lower voice.
“Whatever, so when are we leaving vampire pony?”
“Vampire pony?”
Soto just excused her for not understanding the joke since he didn’t know that they didn’t know what Twilight was in the human world. “Yeah, let’s just get going.”
“Be sure to report to me your findings on the matter at hand,” Princess Celestia called out as they made their way to leaving.
“I will Princess, and you will not be disappointed. I will keep Discord from winning his twisted games and find a way to get Soto back to his home world. You can count on me.” Soto chuckled at the last part.
“So what is Ponyville like?” he asked as they made their way toward the chariot.
“It is full of the best ponies any pony can ask for. You are going to love it there.” She looked at him with a big smile.
“Yeah, I will totally love it.” Great, he thought to himself. Something that I didn’t need to deal with. Can’t this day get any worse?