The Morning After
There were many things in her life that Sunset regretted. In fact, it was fair to say that Sunset regretted the majority of her life. Almost everything she’d done before the Fall Formal had been a mistake to some degree.
She had hoped that she’d have fewer regrets afterwards, and she did. But fewer did not mean none. Fewer didn’t even mean few, really. Sometimes, Sunset’s life still felt like it was a long string of one regret after another.
Waking up naked with Fluttershy was definitely one of those times.
Why had she let all that stuff happen? When Fluttershy was curious about kissing, that was one thing. But sex? They were in a weird place in their… friendship? Relationship? Whatever they were together, it was complicated enough without adding sex into things.
Sunset was curled around Fluttershy, who seemed to still be asleep. As carefully as she could, she pulled her arm from its place around Fluttershy’s stomach, and put some distance between the two of them.
She rose from bed as gently as she could. If she woke up Fluttershy, they’d have to talk about what happened, and Sunset had no idea what she was supposed to do or say when that time came.
It was too risky to get dressed in the bedroom, so Sunset gathered some clothes without putting them on. She also grabbed her phone and the journal so she wouldn’t need to come back.
With one last look at Fluttershy to confirm she was still sleeping soundly, Sunset left the bedroom. She tossed the phone and journal onto the couch and got dressed quickly, eager to separate herself from the chill air.
Once she was dressed, Sunset took the journal to the computer desk and opened it to the first empty page. She took out a pen, placed it against the paper, and realized she had no idea what to ask.
There was no way that Twilight would feel comfortable with Sunset having sex with Fluttershy, even if the two Fluttershys were completely separate individuals. If Sunset was ever going to tell Twilight about that, it would be in a controlled setting after figuring out what was going on. And the Equestrian Fluttershy? Sunset didn’t even want to think about what that would be like for her to hear.
As it turned out, she didn’t have very long to think about anything, as writing started appearing in the journal. ‘Sunset?’
Sunset recognized Fluttershy’s writing and realized she’d accidentally drawn a line on the page where her pen touched it. She should have been more careful; any amount of writing made the connection work.
‘Good morning, Fluttershy. I hope I didn’t wake you.’
‘No, I was just getting some breakfast for the animals around the cottage while Twilight sleeps in a bit. Did you need to talk to her?’
Sunset wasn’t actually sure who would be better to talk to between the two marefriends, but it hardly mattered since there was no way she was willing to wake Twilight up. ‘No, that’s okay. I was just hoping to get some advice about something.’
‘Oh. Is it something I could help with?’
‘I think so.’ Honestly, who would know Fluttershy better than another Fluttershy? But on the other hand, coming clean about that still had far too much chance for awkward backlash. It would be much better to stick to the fake identity. ‘Remember my friend Morning Breeze?’
‘Yeah. Did you talk to her about how you feel?’
‘Something like that. We sort of ’ Sunset frowned at the words. They hadn’t ‘sort of’ done anything, but that was another thing she couldn’t bring herself to tell Fluttershy. ‘ kissed. A lot. Then she spent the night, and now she’s asleep in my bed.’
Well, it was technically accurate.
‘Oh. Well, I guess we know how she feels now.’
‘I guess, but now I’m worried things might be moving a little fast.’
‘Sunset, be honest. Did anything more than kissing and sleeping in the same bed happen?’
Sunset stared at the page for longer than she knew was wise. She didn’t want Fluttershy to know she was hesitating, but she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t really expected the question; Twilight never would’ve asked, and she was pretty sure the human Fluttershy wouldn’t either.
But she wasn’t talking to either of them, and this Fluttershy still needed an answer. ‘No. Nothing more than that happened. Although the kissing did get pretty heavy.’
That couldn’t even get by on technical accuracy, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth. Not to Fluttershy.
‘Then I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Just talk to her about how she feels once she’s awake.’
Sunset sighed. It was more complicated than that. Like Fluttershy said, there wouldn’t have been anything to worry about if Sunset had stopped things there. But she hadn’t, and now she’d have to deal with that.
But what she wrote instead was, ‘Yeah. You’re right.’
‘Maybe you could make breakfast? It might not be a fun conversation, but if you make breakfast for the two of you then you’ll be off to a good start.’
Sunset was too busy working on plan B for that. ‘That’s a great idea. Thanks, Fluttershy.’
‘You’re welcome. Everything will be okay, let me know how it goes.’
As much as breakfast was a good suggestion, Sunset wouldn’t be able to follow through with it. She hadn’t been able to get the advice she needed from Fluttershy because she’d been unable to be honest with her. So she’d just have to talk to someone she could be, someone she could always tell anything to.
Sunset grabbed her phone and opened her contacts. She tapped the first name on her recent calls, then held the phone to her ear as it rang.
“Morning, Sunset,” Applejack said on the other end. “The heck you doin’ up?”
“That’s hard to explain. What are you up to?”
“Just headin’ out to go make a delivery.”
“Perfect. Can you swing by so I can come along for the ride?”
There was a moment’s pause, then Applejack sighed. “Yeah, I’m on my way. Ya did somethin’ dumb, didn’tcha?”
“Right. Be there in fifteen.”
“Thanks. See you then.”
For fifteen minutes, Sunset tried to keep busy while constantly glancing towards the bedroom door. She was worried about Fluttershy waking up and forcing the conversation before she was ready for it, even though she knew it would be easy enough to make an excuse. Applejack needed help. They’d talk when she came back later.
As excruciating as the wait was, she didn’t need to use the excuse in the end. Applejack pulled up in front of the house, and Sunset was heading out the door before she could even call to say she was there.
Sunset hurriedly made her way to Applejack’s truck, fresh powder crunching underfoot. Even if it was only a short walk from the house to the vehicle, it was a warm and welcome relief to climb into, and Sunset held her hands to the air vent. The radio was tuned to a classic rock station that both of them would find enjoyable.
Applejack shifted into drive and pulled away from the house. “Hope ya don’t mind it’s not a quick stop. Gonna be a couple of hours before we’re back here.”
“That’s fine.” Sunset pulled on her seatbelt and took note of the contents of the truck’s bed. She was happy to see there were multiple cases of different sizes, likely containing various products. It was a big shipment, and that was something the Apples needed more of.
“So what’s going on?” Applejack asked once they were on a main road.
“It’s hard to explain.” Without thinking of it, Sunset turned down the volume of the radio.
Applejack glanced at the volume dial. “That bad, huh?”
“Yeah… I probably shouldn’t even be talking about it, but I don’t know what else to do.”
“Well, I ain’t telling anyone whatever it is. Might as well blurt it out ‘cause we’re gonna get into it one way or the other.”
Sunset took a deep breath. “Last night Fluttershy and I had sex.”
Applejack let out a low whistle. “Yeah, I can see how that’s pretty bad.”
“I didn’t mean to! It just sort of… happened.”
“Ya didn’t mean to?” Applejack shot her a disbelieving look. “What, she just sort of fell on top of you and y’all decided ‘well, since we’re here we might as well make a thing of it’?”
“Obviously it wasn’t a complete accident! We were just talking, and then we… kissed… then one thing kind of led to another.”
“Ya know, in all the times we’ve talked, we’ve never once just started kissing. That kind of thing just doesn’t happen from nowhere, so what’s the full story here?”
“We were just talking, then Fluttershy said she wanted to kiss me. It pretty much did come out of nowhere, I have no idea what brought that up.”
“Huh.” Applejack shrugged. “Never really figured she’d be the type to make the first move.”
“Yeah, it’s been pretty surprising. She was the one who asked me to sleep in bed with her a week ago, too.”
“Hang on, y’all been sleeping together?”
“Only next to each other!” Sunset frowned and turned to look out the window. “Until last night, anyway…”
“Right, so. Fluttershy wanted to sleep next to you. Then she wanted to kiss you. Then she wanted to have sex. Sounds like she knows what she’s after, at least.”
“Well… Fluttershy did bring up kissing, but I was the one who suggested we move on to sex.”
“Then I suppose both y’all know what ya want here.”
That didn’t seem so simple to Sunset. “Maybe…”
Applejack gave her a sideways glance and waited for more, but gave up as Sunset kept her eyes fixed straight ahead. “Do, uh… do you think she didn’t want it or something?”
Sunset turned towards Applejack. “Jesus, what do you take me for? If Fluttershy didn’t want to have sex, we wouldn’t have. She was a little nervous, but it was her first time.”
“Yeah, plus she’s Fluttershy. Course she’s gonna be nervous ‘bout it. Hope you took things slow for her.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Want the play by play? Yes, I took things slow, and I’m sure she enjoyed herself.”
“Okay, so that’s exactly what I was saying. Both of ya clearly want this.” Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Unless you don’t.”
Sunset didn’t answer.
“You can’t tell me it was your idea and then say ya didn’t want it.”
“I did. I mean, last night I definitely wanted the sex, but… Now I’m not sure. Maybe it was a mistake.”
Applejack turned onto a highway. “You’re not sure if you want things to keep going the way they’re going?”
“I guess. I don’t even know where it is that things are going, you know?”
“You are not that dense. Look, she was the one who started most everything, and she was happy when you continued it. She wants to date you, Sunset. Hell, knowing Fluttershy, she probably thinks that doin’ that kinda stuff means y’all are already dating.”
“But she said she just wanted to experiment. You know, try some new things now that she’s out about being gay.” Sunset shrugged. “I was pretty excited to try things with a girl the first time, and I wasn’t hiding that I’m bi. I can see why she’d be interested in that.”
“She said that? That she just wanted to ‘experiment’?”
Sunset thought back to the night before. “She said… that she felt comfortable with it because it was me. I think she said I made her feel safe. But when I asked why she wanted to, she did say it was because she’s never kissed anyone and she wanted to try.”
Applejack grimaced. “She’s never kissed anyone? And then just… went straight to sleeping with you?”
“Well, yeah. I don’t think she planned for things to get that far, but you know… We were caught up in the heat of the moment and she was curious. It happens.”
“I dunno about being in ‘the heat of the moment’, but I do know Fluttershy. And this? This don’t even sound like her. I mean sure, maybe you were interested in experimenting with girls. But you and Flash had already fooled around, so you had already started with that kinda thing. The first time you wanted to kiss or sleep with someone or whatever, and I mean really wanted it and would’ve done it if ya got the chance, are you really saying ya didn’t also want to date them?”
Sunset looked at Applejack and it gave her high school flashbacks. She facepalmed as she realized how obvious that answer was. “Fuck, you’re right. You’re absolutely right. How the hell did I let things get like this?”
Applejack sighed and Sunset could tell she was upset. “So you don’t want to date her then?”
It was easy enough to see what was on Applejack’s mind. If that was true and Fluttershy wound up getting hurt, it would be all Sunset’s fault.
“I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Well, let’s see.” Applejack held up a finger. “Ya went along with sleeping in the same bed for a week now, so I’m guessing you like that.”
Sunset sighed, a little embarrassed to admit it, and a little confused that after everything else, that was the embarrassing part. “Yeah, I do.”
A second finger went up. “And you two have been living together for, what? Like a month now? Any problems there, or are ya happy with that?”
“It hasn’t been a whole month, but yes, I’m happy with it. Really happy, actually.”
“So then what about kissing? Ya must’ve liked it last night if ya wanted things to go further. Think it’s something you’d want to keep doing?”
“I guess? Kissing isn’t really the type of thing I think about whether I want to do or not. It’s just sort of something that happens when it feels right, I guess.”
“Yeah, I know what kind of things you think about doing. Which brings us to number four.” Applejack’s fourth finger went up. “Do you wanna keep having sex with her?”
Yeah, because that was an easy to answer question that wasn’t awkward at all. But Applejack did have a point in asking it, so Sunset gave it some thought. She tried to push aside all the other strings that would attach themselves if she continued to have sex with Fluttershy, and only considered the action itself.
“I did enjoy it, and I think… I know I would enjoy it again. It’s not something I’m specifically after, but yes, it could be nice.”
Applejack returned both hands to the wheel. “Sounds to me like a relationship wouldn’t be so bad.”
Sunset looked out the window again. “Maybe you’re right.”
Applejack smirked. “It’s been known to happen from time to time.”
Sunset smiled as well. It was the first time she’d smiled since waking up and realizing the situation she’d gotten herself into. “Thanks, AJ.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Sunset found a small laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. “Geez, how much can change in a month? Fluttershy and I had completely separate lives, and now we’re living together, sleeping together, and I guess dating. Still gotta make sure we’re on the same page with that, but you know.”
Applejack nodded. “So, let’s see… that means the wedding will be what? Spring?”
“Oh come on, give us some credit. We can hold out until summer.”
“Aww, can I be a bridesmaid?”
“Psh, no. You gotta be my maid of honor, who else would put up with me?”
“Who said I was gonna be your bridesmaid? Two brides means double the options!”
“Bitch, who said you got a choice? Maid of honor or don’t bother showing up.”
Applejack pretended to consider her options. “Hmm, alright. But only if I also get to be a godmother.”
“Yeah, alright. If I ever manage to squeeze a baby out of this thing, you’ve got first dibs. Don’t really think Fluttershy’s got the right equipment to get me knocked up, though.”
“Y’all can adopt.”
Sunset laughed. “Really though, do you honestly think I could ever raise a kid?”
Applejack shook her head. “Frankly, the idea alone is terrifying. But maybe Fluttershy could manage to pull it off even with you as the other parent.”
“I guess if anyone could, it’d be Fluttershy.”
They kept joking around as Applejack drove, and little by little, Sunset started to feel the return to normality that Applejack always somehow was able to provide. Even joking around about how quick things were moving with Fluttershy helped Sunset feel a little less weird about it. If they could joke about it, maybe that meant it was okay.
Somehow, maybe things could actually be okay for once. Maybe this time, Sunset really could manage to not screw everything up.
By the time they made it back to Sunset’s house, she was feeling pretty good about her situation. Of course, that only lasted until they were at her house, when the reality that it was finally time to address things came crashing upon her.
Applejack seemed to notice Sunset’s reluctance to leave the truck. “Since when are you nervous about talking to a girl ya like.”
Sunset glanced back at Applejack. “It’s happened from time to time.”
“Come on, it’s Fluttershy! Sure, maybe it’s hard to talk about this sort of thing, but there ain’t nobody easier to talk to than Fluttershy.”
“Yeah, but that’s just it. It is Fluttershy. When it’s someone at a party or something I figure the worst that can happen is we don’t work out, no big deal. But with Fluttershy, it is a big deal, because she’s one of the best friends I’ll ever have. I don’t want to risk losing her, you know?”
“You’re worrying ‘bout nothing, like usual.” Applejack placed a hand on her shoulder. “She was the one who started things, remember? This is what she wants, I’m sure of it. And you know, you are pretty good at talking to people. Even if ya don’t know what to say now, I know that once the two of you start talking, you’ll figure out the words. Everything’s gonna be just fine, trust me.”
Sunset took a deep breath and smiled. Leave it to Applejack to somehow make everything feel like it could work out. “Thanks, AJ. I’ll let you know how things go.”
“Yeah, be sure to tell me the good news.”
Sunset said her goodbyes and finally left the truck. At least the cold meant she didn’t take her time getting inside.
She had expected to find Fluttershy in the living room, but it was empty. Sunset’s first thought was that she might have gone out with Rainbow or something, but there was light coming from under the bedroom door.
Realizing that she didn’t actually know if Fluttershy was the type to stay in bed late into the morning reminded Sunset of how rushed things were, but she pushed that thought away as she opened the bedroom door.
She smiled as the door opened, and saw that despite the light, Fluttershy was lying in bed. Her back was to the door, and she was still enough to be asleep. She must have gotten up at some point since she had dressed into pajamas, and she was curled into a ball around a pillow while holding Sunfish Swimmer.
“Shy?” Sunset prompted quietly in case she really was asleep.
At first Fluttershy didn’t respond. Then she took a sharp breath and rose slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on the bed rather than looking at Sunset. Her mouth opened as if to speak, but no sound came out.
Worried that she might not be feeling well, Sunset gently took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Good morning, Shy.”
Fluttershy’s mouth opened and closed again. She exhaled sharply and tears rolled silently down her face. Her voice was weak when she finally choked out a few words. “I’m… I’m sorry…”
All other thoughts left her head as Sunset instantly reached her arms around Fluttershy and spoke soothingly. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”
Fluttershy looked into Sunset’s face for a moment, then turned away as her crying grew in intensity. Even if they had only made eye contact for a moment, Sunset had seen how red Fluttershy’s eyes were. She had been crying for a long time.
Sunset pulled her closer, bringing Fluttershy’s head to her chest. “Shh, I’m here, everything’s going to be alright. Did you have another nightmare?”
At first Fluttershy just cried quietly, not reacting to Sunset’s presence at all. But then slowly, she reached her arms around Sunset as well. If she had been hesitant to hold Sunset, she certainly seemed to change her mind once she did; with her arms finally around her, Fluttershy held tightly.
Since every attempt to get Fluttershy to tell her why she was crying only resulted in apologies or more tears, Sunset gave up trying. Instead, she held onto her and hummed a tuneless melody as she stroked Fluttershy’s hair, waiting for the tears to stop in their own time. She slowly eased them onto the bed, so that they were lying together with Fluttershy’s head still resting on her chest.
Eventually the tears did stop, although neither of them made any attempt to move. Fluttershy eventually spoke with another “I’m sorry”, although this time she spoke calmly without any trace of tears.
“It’s okay,” Sunset reassured her. “I want to be here for you. And besides, I can think of a lot of things worse than being your teddy bear when you need one.”
Fluttershy held a little tighter, which made Sunset smile. “I… don’t deserve this.”
“Sure you do. If anything, I’d say I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
“I… I’m really sorry… about last night…”
It was good that Fluttershy wasn’t able to see Sunset’s expression. Was that really what she was sorry about? “Uh, last night was great? Why are you sorry for that?”
Fluttershy pulled away so she could finally look at Sunset, but she stayed cuddled up at her side. “I… when I woke up and you weren’t here, I just… It’s my fault, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have, well, you know…”
Sunset would have facepalmed if Fluttershy wasn’t right on her. How could she be such an idiot? Of course Fluttershy would think that. “I was out helping Applejack. It wasn’t anything to do with last night. I’m sorry, I should’ve left a note or something.”
Not sure where else to take the conversation, Sunset decided to try and lighten the mood. “Guess it’s good to know this was more about this morning than last night. I mean yeah, it’s been a while, but I don’t think I was bad enough to make you cry.”
Fluttershy blushed. “N-no! It wasn’t, uhm… I… y-you were, uhm…”
Sunset laughed. “I’m just joking.” She smiled and leaned her forehead against Fluttershy’s. “Or at least, I hope so. But I guess you’d know better than me, how’d I do?”
It was perhaps a bit mean to keep picking on her, but Fluttershy was too cute when she was flustered. She blushed harder and averted her eyes as much as she could without moving her head. “I, uhm, I… I think you…”
Seeing that Fluttershy was taking her far too seriously and struggling to actually give an answer, Sunset did the only reasonable thing she could. She leaned in and cut Fluttershy off with a kiss.
At first, Fluttershy just looked surprised. Then her smile grew to match Sunset’s, who finally found the answer she was looking for in it.
“So…” Sunset blushed a little and reached for Fluttershy’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I think I really like this whole us thing.”
Fluttershy’s smile grew even brighter. It was hard to believe she had been crying only minutes before when she radiated so much happiness. “Me too.”
They came together for another kiss, and Sunset found all her worries melted away in the warmth of Fluttershy’s embrace.