Barrett sat chair tilted back on two legs as he watched the ponies at the wedding reception dance. He sipped at a cup of punch and smiled gently at the bride and groom. The evening light showered the royal gardens in a relaxed shade of orange.
Barrett blinked as the chair across the table creaked. He flicked an eye over to a happy Dusk Shine who gave a small wave. “Having fun?” Dusk asked as floated a cup of punch from across the dance floor. “You cleaned up nice, by the way,” Dusk eyed the human, freshly scrubbed, rinsed and soaped in the private baths of the royal brothers. Solaris had insisted once he’d been freed from his cocoon. Though why he’d followed the invitation with a bout of laughter was lost on Dusk.
“I guess, formal scenes were never really my thing. But, hey, once in a while doesn’t hurt,” Barrett offered his drink for a toast. The gentle clank of glass had Dusk snort and peer out over the festivities.
Blitz was knee deep in fanboying over the Wonderbolts. Barry and Vinny were playing DJs. AJ and Elusive seemed deep in a conversation. Oh and of course Butterscotch was using Barb as a shield to avoid the rest of the guests. “It’s kind of strange, how quickly things went back to normal. You know, after everything that happened this afternoon,” Dusk turned back to Barrett, who nodded.
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be a day in Equestria, or heck, a day with you if something crazy, stupid or both weren’t knocking down the door,” Barrett said. Dusk looked away eyes to the ground. “Dusk, look out, happily married sister and new brother inbound.”
Dusk looked up to the beaming faces of his family. Gleaming wrapped Dusk in a one-legged hug. “Hey bro, why the long face?” she asked followed by a noogie.
Dusk swatted his sister’s attack away with a chuckle. “Stop, stop, I’m fine,” Dusk surrendered as the pair fell into a fit of laughter.
“Is that so? You know I can read emotions, right Dusk?” Prince Bolaro said with a cheeky wink. Barrett rolled the prince’s name in his head. Cadence was definitely a better name he decided. Besides this stallion was so pink is almost hurt to look at him.
“So, gonna introduce us to your alien coltfriend?” Gleaming asked with a nudge. “And mom said I was shooting for the moon.”
“Gleam,” Dusk said cheeks aflame as he tried to cover it and shrink away.
“As much as Dusk deserves a good teasing and all. I don’t believe I’ve had the chance to introduce myself,” Barrett tapped the table and pulled the attention of the Shine family siblings. “Names Barrett Biggs, pleasure,” Barrett offered a hand to the standing prince.
“Prince Mi Encantador Bolero, but please just Bolero,” the prince said accepting the human’s handshake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. You know outside of the Changeling invasion.”
Barrett shrugged and met the prince’s grin with his own. “It’d be stranger if we met any other way. As long as the Elements are involved crazy is just around the corner.”
“I’m beginning to think you may be right,” Bolero said as he and Barrett both gave Dusk a knowing look.
“Oh great, it only took a minute for you guys to start picking on me in mass,” Dusk mumbled with a pout.
“Oh come on Dusky, it’s natural for siblings to tease each other. So, how long?” Gleaming Shield asked a quick jab to her brother’s chest.
Dusk frowned. “How long what?”
“Have you had your eyes on Barrett?” Bolero finished his wife’s thought. He pulled Barrett to the human’s surprise closer than he’d have liked. “The second he landed in the castle I felt a surge of love so potent I nearly fainted.”
“Huh, kinda reminds me of what King Bug said back there too,” Barrett managed from his place against Bolero’s side. A position he was in the midst of rectifying as he elbowed the prince repeatedly. Though if it was affecting him, Bolero showed little sign. “Also, I am and have not been with anyone as of my time in crazy magic horse land,” Barrett said as he continued his assault on the prince’s side.
“Really, even with so many open invitations? I mean, certainly at least one must be your type,” Bolero said with a gentle tap on Barrett’s nose. “Or is it, you have no interest in ponies at all?” he continued his eyes pierced deep into the trapped human’s own. The lipid lavender pools. Barrett himself shiver as the stare lingered, t was like his very soul was being judged. No matter what it was, he did not like it, he did not like it one bit.
“Is every stinken pony in this whole stupid world bi or something, or pan maybe, heck if I understand em’,” Barrett growled. With a single heavy pull, he tore himself free from the clutches of the monarch of pink and stared back his gaze a torrent of rebuke.
“I can see why you might think that, but no, not necessarily,” Bolero held a hoof to his chest as his horn lit softly in the evening glow. “Ponies are incredibly susceptible to the Magic of Love. This magic finds and binds two, or more souls together. As such, ponies don’t really focus on sex or species.” Bolero pointed between Barrett and Dusk. “Instead, ponies are more likely to feel the tug of these invisible tethers and trust in the magic, and it's pure untainted power. “So, a stallion might find a mare, a stallion, a griffon, a drake, or in this case a group of stallions might find a human to be their tether.”
Barrett scratched his head as he took in the lesson at hand. “Uh, well, that’s one way to date, I guess,” he shrugged and saddled back in his seat. “So, basically, heartstrings and true love, love will find a way. Sounds a whole lot easier than the human way.”
Bolero laughed, which was joined by his wife and Dusk. “It seems like it,” Gleaming said as she nuzzled up to her hubby.
“I guess nopony bothered to tell you as much because we assumed you knew,” Dusk felt his gaze waver on Barrett before he turned to the garden. “I’m sorry, we kind of took the magic for granted and didn’t think about how foreign something like that might be to you,” Dusk peeked passed his mane at the human who no longer sat in his chair.
Dusk jolted as a hand pat his head. Barrett stood in front of the stallion and stuck out his tongue. “It’s not like I asked. I kind assumed everything worked like it did back home,” Barrett’s soft smile became a devious grin. “Though I don’t think any magic forced you to play with fire,” Dusk’s eyes went wide as he slowly looked back at his family, who seemed rather interested in the news.
“Playing with fire?” Gleaming asked with a frown. “Barrett you wouldn’t mind elaborating, would you?”
Barrett shook his head. “Of course not Captain,” Dusk wished with all his heart he knew a spell to shrink away.
Barrett waved a hand overhead as he gazed out into space. “It all started on a bright and quiet day in Ponyville…”
---
“I’m tellin’ ya, it can’t be done,” Applejack said as he reaffirmed his hat once more.
Elusive shook his head and waved off the comment. “You underestimate me, if anypony can do it, it would be me.”
“For a romantic, you sure do dance around any actual courtin’,’” AJ fired back with a scowl of his own.
Barrett walked up to the two stallions who’d taken up shop right in front of the punch bowl. Barrett stood, empty glass in hand and watched as the two stallions seemed on the edge of taking their squabble from verbal jabs to real ones.
“So, what now?” Barrett asked as he placed a hand on each stallion’s shoulder. “What’s got you two so worked up?”
As if a switch had been pulled in the hearts of the combatants, both Elusive and Applejack’s eyes felt drawn to each other's in a mutual understanding and then to the curious human.
Applejack recovered first. “Uh, nothin’ much, just a bit of this and that,” he said his eyes darted back and forth as he forced a tuneless whistle.
“Yes, yes, it was just a bit of artistic difference, nothing to worry your beautiful self with, darling,” Elusive agreed with a rather large bright and entirely see-through smile.
“Riiight, okay, don’t tell me then. But, if you’re going to argue, could you move away from the punch and snacks?” Barrett addresses the table. “Nothing kills an appetite like two guys bickering.”
“Of course, though I don’t see a need to continue to--” Elusive through up hoof air quotes. A gesture Barrett thought was grammatically inconsistent since you need to digits to emulate quotes, but ponies will be ponies. “--Bicker as you say. Right Applejack?”
The stalwart farmer nodded in agreement. “Eeyup.”
“Good, I’d hate for you guys to make a scene and embarrass anyone,” Barett added with a smirk.
“Heaven’s, I would never. This night is for the blossoming love of two brilliant souls. I would sooner walk away or concede than let my petty faux pas ruin the night,” Elusive said a hoof raised over his brow as he leaned back in distress.
“Sure ya would, drama queen,” AJ said as he turned to Barrett, “Speakin’ of, you’ll be headin’ back with us tomorrow right?”
“Of course, how else am I gonna keep you Apple’s runnin’ tight and loose at the same time,” Barrett added with a nudge. Both Elusive and AJ found the garden quite a bit warmer all the sudden. “That and I really need to get those repairs finished. I really hate taking advantage of your hospitality.”
“Shucks, hun--I mean, hayseed, you can stay as long as you need. Heck, you could stay--” Applejack found his voice dissipate as he tried to respond. “Forever,” he said his voice barely a whisper by the end.
Barrett tapped an ear. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that last part.”
Elusive jabbed his jabbering friend in the side with a sly wink. “Smooth,” he added as he stepped passed the mumbling farmer. “Nevermind that darling, AJ seems to have got lost in thought.”
“Hmm,” Barrett gave AJ a curious look.
“But, if it’s all the same, I was hoping that in the next few days you wouldn’t mind stopping by my humble shop? I have something, special I came up with just for you,” Elusive punctuated with the question with a hoof trailing down Barrett’s stomach and the human taking a step back in surprise.
“I guess,” Barrett said rubbing his shirt with a hand idly.
Elusive smiled and bowed. “Excellent, then, I’ll see you in the morning, until then, mi amore,” with that Elusive was off to ob and nob with the best of them.
Barrett stood in silence as he refilled his punch. That was until a certain pink party pony wrapped his hooves around his waist and pulled him toward the dance floor. “Come on Baraboo, there are only a few songs left, and I was saving a special slow-dance just for us.”
Barrett felt a sudden dread descend upon him as he noted a dozen sets of eyes on him. “Hey, that’s not fair. Who said you got the first dance with Biggs,” Rainbow Blitz yelled as he flew into the fray. “I mean, it’s not like I want to or anything, but you know if--” he motioned to Barrett whose dread had been doubled. “--he wanted to or something, I wouldn’t say no.”
Barry giggled as he beamed up as Blitz. “That’s fine Blitzy, you can have the first dance.”
Blitz blinked and fell to the ground. “R-really?”
Barry nodded like a hundred times in less than a second. “Yep, I’ll just get the last. You know the dance that is like the mostest romantic of them all.” Barry’s grin was bright enough to eclipse the sun.
“Nay, I shall have the final bout with my consort,” Artemis said as he too trudged onto the open dance area. Barrett had begun to pray, though he had in fact concluded that if anyone was listening it was Solaris. For only he could torture someone so thoroughly.
“Now hold on, Barry has first dibs, then you can go,” Blitz offered Artemis. “Then I’ll finish up.
“So where do I fit in?” Butterscotch asked from beside Blitz. The master of faster kept true to his skills as he yelped in surprise from Scotches sudden arrival.
It was off in the distance, one may not have caught it if they weren’t listening for it. But to Barrett, it was crystal clear, the unmistakable laughter of an impeccably treacherous lord of the sun.
“God damn it,” Barrett said as the pack of stallion’s passed him about in their endless pursuit of who gets the last dance.
Barrett gazed high into the night sky with only one thought in his tired, cynical little mind. “Why me?” the thought was doubly affirmed as Barrett pat his back pocket, where a certain stupid out-of-date device sat snug and comfy. “Oh right, that’s why.”